Culture Club - (Not So) Pretty Little Thing

00:00:00.000 our thoughts on the black friday sales and the pretty little thing eight pence dresses

00:00:11.020 megan markle's op-ed for the new york times and a new hallmark style christmas movie with an lgbtq

00:00:18.100 plus storyline you are listening to media slashies maggie and jasmine and this is our weekly chat

00:00:24.400 on pop culture, current affairs, the internet and our lives.

00:00:28.900 We would like to acknowledge that the Wurundjeri,

00:00:31.700 Turrbal and Boon Wurrung people are the traditional custodians

00:00:35.080 of the land upon which we live, work and record this podcast.

00:00:39.640 We pay our respects to Elders past, present and emerging.

00:00:44.200 Always was, always will be Aboriginal land.

00:00:49.940 So Jasmine, you've got two coffees down? 1.00

00:00:52.500 Yes.

00:00:53.180 How are you feeling?

00:00:54.500 Shaky.

00:00:56.060 I didn't have any coffee yesterday, so I went out and was working this morning from a cafe

00:01:00.120 and had two, and so I'm ready to go.

00:01:03.520 Very main character energy.

00:01:05.240 Do you kind of just like, do you think about how you look to other people or is that very

00:01:09.920 narcissistic of me?

00:01:11.640 Sometimes.

00:01:12.860 I was sitting in the window this morning and I was like, so lame.

00:01:18.700 But I was like, this is what I wanted to do when I was younger, you know, just like riding

00:01:23.460 in a cafe maybe not on a Sunday but that's that's anyway how was your morning I am crashing because

00:01:32.140 I woke up at 5 30 a.m for a market stall um and I usually wake up you know like 8 15 so I am quite

00:01:39.960 hyper and I've been quite energetic all morning and it's like hitting mid-afternoon now and I'm

00:01:45.120 slowly like shutting down so let's see if you can see this in the episode have you been up to

00:01:51.140 anything else this week? So tonight I'm going out for dinner and seeing my first comedy show

00:01:55.900 in so long. I am so excited. Can't wait to be out in the city tonight. That's so fun. Where are you

00:02:02.380 going? It's actually really random. There's this place called Comedy Republic that literally opened

00:02:07.920 post-COVID. So their theatre that they built has been apparently made to be socially distanced and

00:02:14.380 stuff like that. So really keen just to go and laugh, I guess. Are you going to have a nap

00:02:20.960 beforehand oh 100 i'm actually in my pajamas right now i put on a jumper to like be professional but

00:02:26.320 i'm in my pajamas took a hot shower and i'm gonna jump into bed i was actually thinking about

00:02:30.240 recording from my bed but i was like no too far too far too far so in big podcast news this week

00:02:37.340 not ours but our favorite podcasters dolly olden and pandora sykes announced that they're finishing

00:02:43.660 the high low where were you when you heard the news like honestly this will be one of those

00:02:48.600 moments for me i was on the i actually i've i've actually teared up quite a few times about this

00:02:54.880 which is surprising to me but yes i was on the train home i hate being emotional on public

00:03:00.940 transport but that's main character energy to be emotional public transport main character energy

00:03:06.080 so one of our lovely listeners pagan she actually posted in the after work drinks

00:03:12.360 facebook group saying that it was over and i was like what and i quickly jumped on the podcast app

00:03:17.800 and lo and behold it was there and I felt so crushed it's kind of nice that they're ending

00:03:24.820 on a high though exactly but yeah I wonder what they'll like do afterwards I'm sure it'll be like

00:03:31.340 more writing and other creative projects and things like of course it's not the end of their

00:03:36.660 careers um how do you feel yeah I think it's the end of an era for that I feel like they really

00:03:43.960 pioneered this like area of pop culture slash current affairs um podcasting they started it

00:03:52.160 four years ago so they've had over 27 million downloads and interviews with 35 authors so it's

00:03:58.660 been like a huge huge effort and honestly like we can thank them for our inspiration for starting

00:04:06.080 this as well i think that yeah they kind of made podcasts more of a medium for like young women

00:04:13.580 and rather than it being dominated by like white men I mean it's sad but like you said I think that

00:04:20.220 they will continue writing hopefully writing more books which we've talked about their books

00:04:24.560 on the podcast before and yeah still being in that sphere and this might be a little strange

00:04:31.880 to other people but I feel like for me a lot of my role models surprisingly were actually people

00:04:36.860 my age like I look up to people in my industry that are very young and successful and thriving

00:04:42.560 and often it can be quite like a double-edged sword like I'm so in awe of these young people

00:04:47.280 but also I kind of feel not threatened but I feel like oh my god maybe I should be achieving when

00:04:52.780 I'm young and Dolly and Pandora aren't old but they're in their 30s and I think it is so important

00:04:59.760 to have role models that are older than you like I know they're in their 30s they are young but for

00:05:05.280 me that was actually very special almost like big sister energy or like an aunt they were like an

00:05:11.060 aren't to me I feel I love that because I don't I think there's a lot of pressure for us especially

00:05:15.320 as like media slashies to succeed and do a lot of things when we're young so it's kind of cool to see

00:05:20.940 them thrive later in our life oh my god they're not old later in life like they're 16 years old

00:05:27.540 but yeah I learned so much from them they're so intelligent and that was so inspiring to me that's

00:05:33.720 a good point you make like there's so much pressure to achieve so young and they again they are young

00:05:39.900 but um it's yeah I look to them to think like oh that's what I could be doing in 10 years it's not

00:05:47.520 like over as soon as you hit 30 people if anyone over 30 is listening to this they're probably like

00:05:52.080 these young girls what are they talking about they're just starting out um but yeah that's

00:05:56.960 it's good to see them keep growing and writing books and everything yeah well I think um this

00:06:02.780 is kind of random and I don't remember the specific statistic anyway you can help me out

00:06:06.700 maybe um well the average age for someone to write their first novel is like in their 40s or

00:06:13.140 something like that's the average age okay that might not be exactly right but for instance they

00:06:18.120 just had graham norton on as their last author special and he wrote his first book he's on his

00:06:23.660 fourth one now in his 50s so like i love that i love that hope yeah i think we posted um something

00:06:31.380 about that on our Instagram something along the lines of like you know you don't have to be 25

00:06:37.500 and have your first novel and you can be in your 50s or 60s and whatever and I think our society

00:06:42.940 is so obsessed with youth that I'm 25 in six months and I'm already like oh my god I'm 25 like

00:06:49.920 what am I doing and like am I doing enough and have I achieved enough and I have to tell my

00:06:55.600 brain to shut up like I'm doing fine this is fine it's like if you are not super successful

00:07:01.480 and wealthy by 25 or 30 I feel you're like yeah done when you've got the rest of your life like

00:07:07.860 our lifespan is so long now what are you going to do for the next 60 years I was saying this to

00:07:12.640 some friends who were freaking out and myself included because like we graduated last year

00:07:16.840 people who weren't getting jobs like within two months and I was like you just graduated you

00:07:22.460 are going to work in this career for the next 40 years or 30 years you have 30 years to carve

00:07:28.460 out a career and work on yourself like there's no rush but it's hard like in our society there

00:07:34.040 is that pressure so oh yeah it's like a rat race you know I even you telling me that I'm like yeah

00:07:40.060 you're like speaking to my soul because I definitely need reminding I'm very much a go

00:07:44.560 go go very like we're both very ambitious but we need to slow down because it's yeah you're right

00:07:49.440 there's so much time ahead of us so thank you for that jazz pep talks for jazz and maggie

00:07:55.280 this is coming out on a tuesday but last friday was of course black friday it felt like this year

00:08:07.040 was like black friday on steroids i don't know if it was coronavirus people wanting to buy lots of

00:08:13.480 stuff, if it's just the point where we're at in society. But it was a lot. And you posted a few

00:08:19.820 things about it on your Instagram. So let's chat about it. I was wondering, did you buy anything

00:08:25.000 in the sales? So I did not. I actually made a conscious effort to not buy anything. I was very

00:08:31.820 much tempted the other day when, you know, it was supporting local small businesses. But I still

00:08:38.960 just didn't want to partake in this quote-unquote holiday habit you I did buy some things so it

00:08:46.180 technically wasn't in the on Black Friday but like a few days before I have been looking at these

00:08:52.280 shoes that Lizzie our friend actually sent me a link to they're like me in a shoe they're pink

00:08:56.620 checkered mules platform mules they're super cute and she sent them to me earlier in the year like

00:09:02.120 maybe March. And at the time they were like $300 and something. And I was like, I cannot spend

00:09:08.640 $300 and something on a pair of shoes. So I kind of let it go and I check every now and then and

00:09:13.800 my size was sold out. And then I got an ad that they were 50% off. And so that's something that

00:09:20.340 I've wanted for like almost a year that I know I'll love and cherish. So I bought them maybe

00:09:26.220 like five days ago for a hundred and something dollars. My only Black Friday purchase was if

00:09:31.280 you follow me on instagram instagram stories i've been talking about this for like months as well

00:09:36.020 but i finally bought the holiday the label green checkered set

00:09:40.300 all my friends are like finally i'm so happy for you you would not shut up about it literally since

00:09:50.820 i saw gigi hadid wearing it in march and she's pregnant oh it's incredible oh my god but like

00:09:56.780 many people i have this thing where i feel like i don't deserve like spending a large tons of money

00:10:02.100 on myself so the set was like 230 and for like a linen pj set i was like this is extravagant yeah

00:10:10.660 but on friday i saw i was like i'm just gonna check and i saw they were 20 off so again that's

00:10:17.180 something that i've wanted for months i've spoken about it for months i've obviously thought about

00:10:20.800 it so with the 20% off it made it more affordable for me so they were my only purchase and I'm

00:10:26.840 really happy with them because it's like things that I know I will cherish and that will make

00:10:31.460 me feel really good and they're also from independent brands so obviously Holiday the

00:10:36.600 label is an Australian brand and Unreal Fields is the way I got the shoes from and they are not

00:10:45.300 Australian they're from Portugal but they're independent you know it's not from like a big

00:10:50.040 corporation okay so when those things arrive i need to see photos can we please put up on the

00:10:55.160 stories for someone that's like consumerism i get so excited i love hearing about people's purchases

00:11:02.780 like i'm so excited for you so um yeah and i think the main difference day is like you you've nailed

00:11:09.960 it on the head i think that's what black friday should be useful mindful consumption so one of 0.99

00:11:16.140 our favorite gals, Emma. So on Instagram, she is at the.brokegeneration. She put out a really 1.00

00:11:23.180 great post about mindful versus mindless Black Friday purchases. So I think this is super

00:11:30.360 important. So for instance, she pointed to mindful purchases being things like stocking up on your

00:11:35.960 staple skincare when it's 25% off, grabbing another pair of those really great black jeans

00:11:41.740 that make your butt look chef's kiss and treating yourself

00:11:45.960 to something you've been eyeing off for ages 0.96

00:11:47.760 and hanging out for a sale on, which is jazz.

00:11:52.700 But you can also be mindless on Black Friday and get sucked in.

00:11:58.100 Like the amount of emails I was getting about Black Friday,

00:12:01.680 every Instagram post basically.

00:12:03.960 I was also getting texts from brands.

00:12:06.240 i got a text from the iconic and also a pretty little thing text me which i didn't even give

00:12:14.060 them my number i think it's must my phone number must be attached to my like google account or

00:12:19.000 something and i went on there to see the 99 off our thing not to buy anything of course but just

00:12:24.520 to be like what the hell is going on and then they text me and they're like 99 off a pretty

00:12:28.940 little thing get in quick and i was like yeah get off my phone so we have to talk about that

00:12:35.000 yeah you showed me this and i was so shocked i mean should we be shocked at pretty little thing

00:12:42.680 now but this actually still shocked me so they had up to 99 of absolutely everything on their site

00:12:49.900 so gross so they were selling items for as little as four pence which is like 10 cents

00:12:56.300 There were bikinis going for like five pence, jumpers for 22 pence, and a plastic polyester dress for eight pence, which is disgusting.

00:13:08.340 Boohoo, who owns Pretty Little Thing, we've spoken about them before as well, they also had 80% off in the sales, and skirts were going for like two Australian dollars.

00:13:18.120 So this was just disgusting.

00:13:20.040 I saw some tweets of people who were engaging with it and they were like, I just bought 56 items worth like £600 for like £30, like thanks pretty little thing.

00:13:31.140 And I was like, oh my God.

00:13:33.400 And there was also a viral post by solo fashion advocate Venetia Lamanna going around who was on the flip side of those tweets asking pretty little thing and boohoo, who made these clothes and how much did you pay them to go for four pens a piece?

00:13:49.860 i hate this i hate this so much on another note which is similar but there was this um statistic

00:13:58.460 i read recently that um a worker who makes a pair of sneakers that's a hundred dollars 0.54

00:14:04.800 how much do you think they're paid um two dollars 50 cents oh like what i hate how

00:14:14.440 workers are rendered so invisible we're both um halfway through a book that's called the most

00:14:20.120 beautiful job in the world and that talks about the fashion industry and the lack of transparency

00:14:25.280 and how like marketing and imagery kind of sells fashion and like the idea and dream of fashion

00:14:30.760 and it's just like you look at these photos on a website you look at the beautiful marking spreads

00:14:35.300 do you think about the garment workers who are making your clothes because you should because

00:14:39.660 they're there they're working in factories in horrible conditions paid next to nothing and I

00:14:44.760 just don't understand how a polyester flimsy dress that you'll wear once before you lose it in the

00:14:51.160 back of your wardrobe is worth like the livelihood of an actual person I get furious I'm sorry I'm

00:14:58.120 not that sorry sorry not sorry yeah and also without those garment workers there wouldn't

00:15:03.280 be garments so like why are they considered so unimportant yeah it's just the pretty little thing

00:15:09.420 drama was just so gross because like the way Pretty Little Thing were marketing it was kind

00:15:15.060 of like we're losing money by selling you clothes this cheap for Black Friday like get in quick 0.52

00:15:20.620 all that kind of rhetoric when in reality they're selling you their trash like those items are not

00:15:27.740 being sold and so instead of going straight to landfill they're going to go through you you're

00:15:31.960 going to pay for them they're going to go to you and then you're going to put them in landfill

00:15:35.540 because after you wear that dress once it's going to get a hole in it yeah vanicia's post was really

00:15:40.040 good and also explained that the owners of boohoo are billionaires and they're selling dresses for

00:15:46.420 eight pence i mean we've spoken about this before as well in like um our episode called is sustainable

00:15:52.660 fashion classes if you want to go back and listen to our thoughts on that i think the pretty little

00:15:57.200 thing is disgusting and like our over consumption on black friday is disgusting but we do also have

00:16:02.340 to be mindful that for a lot of families black friday is the only time that they can purchase

00:16:07.040 like those essential items like fridges and kettles and things like that so i feel like it's

00:16:12.680 there's two different ways to look at black friday for sure and i think what i get wary about with

00:16:18.340 that is i don't want to ever conflate like essential items with what you just said as

00:16:23.500 excuses for over consumption because no one needs 20 pretty little thing dresses right and the other

00:16:29.820 thing that i find interesting is that every time i post about like sustainable fashion i'll always

00:16:33.940 get dms being like oh well that's all people can afford and i get it and i 100% agree but i think

00:16:40.240 a lot of people my audience in particular i know are usually like university educated i know they're

00:16:46.540 maybe like middle class ish you know how people talk about how there's a difference between poor

00:16:51.740 and being broke so you know being broke you can be a broke uni student but with apple laptop right

00:16:56.780 but you're like oh I can't like I can't afford to shop sustainably but when you're broke that's

00:17:01.460 your social economical that's your social economic status and there's a difference there I feel like

00:17:06.440 people kind of just mix up the two or just excuse like let's I don't even know I don't want to be 0.99

00:17:12.080 I don't want to be a bitch no you're not no I think that's I think that's true like you actually 0.98

00:17:21.200 have really changed my mindset around sustainable fashion and not just sustainable because sometimes 0.86

00:17:27.460 the brands I buy from are not like outwardly sustainable mindful consumption yeah like over

00:17:34.840 the past few months instead of buying like cotton on dresses I've been like I'm gonna save two weeks

00:17:41.700 worth of like my fun budget to buy like the holiday label set I bought some rack apparel

00:17:48.860 swimmers which were like $140 which is something that you know normally especially when you have

00:17:53.720 brands like Pretty Little Thing and Boohoo saying bikinis are worth $1 look at other brands and

00:17:59.380 you're like oh that's expensive I can't afford to spend that on swimmers and it's like no but

00:18:03.660 these swimmers are going to last longer and it's supporting Sophia she's like a small designer she

00:18:09.260 does it all herself it's Australian it's really supportive my big boobs like all these things and

00:18:15.380 like that is worth saving my money not buying crappy cotton on swimmers something you said

00:18:21.220 in the sustainable classism episode really stuck with me in that I have always thought I can't

00:18:27.460 afford that like I'm not earning enough but you're right like if you just stop and don't have that

00:18:33.060 instant gratification and think what do I really want my money to go towards then I can afford it

00:18:40.140 it's really that shift in mindset and I think that's what um Emma from the broke generation 0.94

00:18:44.480 does really well. Exactly. And I think anyone and everybody can come up with excuses on why they

00:18:53.320 can't shop sustainably. And of course, some are warranted. I could think of literally a thousand

00:18:58.320 reasons why I can't shop sustainably, right? And I really like this quote, actually, drawing back

00:19:03.660 from last week's episode with Zoe Tarakes. They mentioned a really great quote that their dad

00:19:09.780 says and it's basically your morals aren't morals until they cost you that could literally be like

00:19:15.580 a financial cost to you it could be like a um cost you social capital or something like you could

00:19:22.020 risk losing something that's it exactly or it could cost you your time and energy when you're

00:19:27.440 researching something whatever it is I think think like our ethics and our beliefs aren't just some

00:19:33.360 nice like placard that we put on a wall or our Instagram account exactly like it's not just a

00:19:39.920 pretty quote that we throw up but we've actually got to live out I guess our truth sometimes and

00:19:45.140 it's hard to do and of course oh my god when I move out of my home I think that's going to be

00:19:50.380 a big difference I think that's why I can very much afford to do some of the things I do do so

00:19:55.380 I do acknowledge where I'm coming from as well yeah that went a lot deeper than I thought this

00:20:01.360 conversation but like in a good way because this year for Black Friday was really overwhelming

00:20:07.320 there were a few points the day I was like I just have to log off like the amount of times I was

00:20:10.980 like oh and I clicked links and I was just looking through stuff and I had to use a lot of willpower 0.80

00:20:14.980 to be like I do not need that why am I getting so sucked into this but also it's such an American

00:20:21.860 thing right it's like a Thanksgiving tradition it's like I feel like over the last few years

00:20:26.480 it's really come over here like when I was in high school I don't remember Black Friday sales do you

00:20:31.020 no actually yes in high school they used to show us the videos of like people being like

00:20:35.600 stampede on to get onto the shops like we'd watch videos of like people lining up like camping

00:20:40.800 outside and then it'd be chaos in australia no no in america yeah just watch americans yeah

00:20:46.720 we just watch it yeah so i remember seeing that and being like oh those people fighting over tv

00:20:50.740 like that's wild but now i feel like australia's doing it i remember the boxing day sales a lot

00:20:55.000 in australia but it feels like black friday's overtaken that now we have two days of consumption

00:21:00.000 you know the boxing day originates from like you have so many christmas leftovers that you box them

00:21:05.620 up and give them to people in need oh and now boxing day is considered like you buy heaps of

00:21:11.480 stuff on the sales because everyone's bought what they need for christmas so they've got so much

00:21:14.960 stock so they discount it all so you buy more i had no idea about the origins of that i thought

00:21:20.280 it used to be about boxing like the sport so yeah yeah it was um a time from a time when the rich

00:21:27.080 used to box up gifts to give to the poor and it was traditionally a day off for the servants of

00:21:31.800 the house so then they received a special christmas box from their masters so it's like a

00:21:36.440 really kind of weird and old tradition i think about boxing day is just eating all the leftovers

00:21:42.020 you've still got in the fridge from christmas but yeah it's kind of sad that it originated from

00:21:46.900 something that was meant to be giving to like just over consuming for yourself even after if

00:21:51.860 you're lucky enough you've just gotten all these presents from your family and friends but you

00:21:56.840 feel like you need more I don't know what a time we're living in hey just like we need more we need

00:22:02.020 more all the time this week Meghan Markle penned an op-ed for the New York Times revealing that

00:22:13.360 she had miscarried her second child in July she wrote after changing his diaper I felt a sharp

00:22:19.380 cramp I dropped to the floor with him in my arms humming a lullaby to keep us both calm

00:22:24.220 The cheerful tune, a stark contrast to my sense that something was not right.

00:22:28.680 I knew as I clutched my firstborn child that I was losing my second.

00:22:33.200 Hours later, I lay in a hospital bed holding my husband's hand.

00:22:37.540 I felt the clamminess of his palm and kissed his knuckles, wet from both our tears.

00:22:42.360 Staring at the cold white walls, my eyes glazed over.

00:22:46.200 I tried to imagine how we would heal.

00:22:48.880 This piece took the internet by storm, with most people applauding her bravery

00:22:52.580 in speaking up about a taboo that is actually incredibly common in the piece she actually

00:22:57.420 mentioned that in a room full of 100 women 10 to 20 of them will experience a miscarriage it was

00:23:03.640 only about two months ago early October when Chrissy Teigen also spoke out about losing her

00:23:10.280 baby boy Jack and shared her and her family's grief online in a really candid way which was

00:23:16.820 really brave it's yeah quite big for Megan to do the same especially considering she's part of the

00:23:23.160 royal family and given that the crown is out and everyone's talking about the royal family and how

00:23:29.760 cold they are that's like a big theme throughout the season and how kind of private they are I

00:23:34.320 think it's really big and brave for Megan to be so open about this um last night I was actually

00:23:42.220 watching Diana in her own words which is like all these secret interview tapes that she did

00:23:46.700 as she left the royal family and she said that she suffered with morning sickness and nausea in

00:23:52.760 her pregnancy with William and that no one else in the royal family ever had before and so because

00:23:57.440 of that she was labeled as difficult and like a problem woman Kate Middleton it's known she

00:24:02.720 suffered with hyperemesis gravidarum which is basically really really severe morning sickness

00:24:09.080 where you're like sick for the whole nine months and she had that with all three of her pregnancies

00:24:13.120 she's spoken out about it a little i think like times have changed in women talking about their

00:24:19.520 bodies obviously in the last 30 years since dayana but megan's piece is the first time a royal has

00:24:26.040 been so open about losing a child in the piece so she doesn't just talk about her own grief of

00:24:32.040 losing her child she also talks about the grief of the whole world in 2020 thanks to covid so she

00:24:38.540 mentions George Floyd and Breonna Taylor and the polarization and division that has occurred this

00:24:43.720 year so I think the piece is talking about her miscarriage but also is talking about the power

00:24:50.320 in knowing that everyone has their struggles you don't know about and we have to ask each other if

00:24:56.000 we're okay and just like yeah understanding that you don't know the whole picture of everyone all

00:25:01.500 the time yeah for sure and I think especially in the case of Meghan Markle and Chrissy Teigen

00:25:09.060 both these women shared really vulnerable and personal moments from their life they didn't

00:25:14.640 have to but they did and some of the public backlash and scrutiny that was received was

00:25:19.960 just so hideous just horrible people calling them attention seeking or like even like bad mothers

00:25:26.680 and I guess like gatekeeping their emotion and like the way that they should have reacted I

00:25:31.360 just think was barbaric and I think this is a very ongoing thing where people think that it's okay to

00:25:37.520 go after and critique people who share personal things especially when it's done like on the

00:25:42.700 internet they think oh well you posted it yourself so you're basically asking for criticism and

00:25:48.400 feedback it's kind of like victim blaming in a sense I think you know it's you know oh you wore

00:25:53.580 that dress you deserve to get blah blah blah blah oh you posted this photo you deserve this backlash

00:26:00.600 Michelle Andrews, co-host of Shameless Podcast, penned a column on this.

00:26:05.300 So I'll just read out a little bit now.

00:26:07.680 When women share their stories, they are treating those stories as important, themselves as 0.70

00:26:13.000 important, which is transgressive when we exist in a society that has, since Jesus was 0.80

00:26:18.880 multiplying fish and shredding a loaf of bread, told us that a self-important woman is an 1.00

00:26:24.280 annoying and arrogant one. 1.00

00:26:25.860 women are taught to put everyone else before ourselves to care about the people around us 0.99

00:26:31.780 more than we care about ourselves to treat their lives and stories as more legitimate more

00:26:36.940 interesting more worthy of oxygen than anything we could possibly have to say so much so that

00:26:43.440 being seen to care about our stories caring about our own traumas is taboo yeah that's so important

00:26:50.440 and so true it's just so brave every time a woman shares like a piece of her that's so

00:26:56.880 personal and traumatic and when she really doesn't have to especially when megan markle

00:27:03.180 has been crucified by the media like she has so much so that they literally left the royal family

00:27:08.820 she would have known that that would have caused a lot of or would cause a lot of more attention

00:27:15.480 on her when they're trying to avoid that and backlash etc but she knows that like the benefits

00:27:22.860 of that outweigh the negative so same with Chrissy I think like the benefits of speaking out about

00:27:28.920 miscarriage and like fertility issues would make another woman feel seen and that they're not bad

00:27:36.700 people or bad mothers or that their feelings are valid and their grief is valid no matter how many

00:27:43.040 weeks how long you are yeah at the end of the day it is grief and everyone processes grief

00:27:48.680 differently I don't think it's um in anyone's place to tell off another human being about

00:27:54.540 the way that they are grieving um it kind of reminded me of this Netflix very short movie

00:28:01.300 it's 12 minutes um this Netflix short film that kind of went a little bit viral this week

00:28:06.140 did you hear about it it's called if anything happens I love you no I didn't I have the silly

00:28:11.580 news app notifications on and I like I really dislike it because it comes from different sources

00:28:16.160 but they had a great clickbait article which was like why Netflix's 12 minute movie will stay with

00:28:22.580 you per day so of course I watched it it's a dialogue-less animation and explores the grief

00:28:28.540 of parents losing a child and it was really confronting and I didn't really know what to

00:28:33.800 expect but I don't know it made me cry throughout it actually I think Elizabeth Day a British

00:28:41.640 journalist and podcaster I think she talked about the fact that losing a child from a parent's

00:28:47.180 perspective is one of the most confronting things that can happen that we actually don't really have

00:28:53.240 a word for it we have words for when you know when a child loses their parents they are an orphan

00:29:00.020 and if someone loses their significant other they may be called like a widow or a widower

00:29:06.880 so I don't think we have a word in the English dictionary for the pain or I guess

00:29:12.780 word that describes a parent losing their child. That like very specific thing.

00:29:21.600 For this week's recommendation did you go to the cinemas or did you watch

00:29:26.040 at home i went to the movies yesterday saying it like that because it's such a treat these days

00:29:32.280 it's the second time i've been to the movies after covid i went with my little sister and it was

00:29:38.180 really fun so we went and saw the happiest season which is a new christmas movie so it stars

00:29:44.480 kristen stewart as abby who is a phd student and out lesbian and mackenzie davis as harper who is

00:29:51.620 her reporter newspaper writing girlfriend and this film centers around Harper taking Abby home

00:30:00.100 for the holidays for the first time to meet the family so they've been together for a year Abby

00:30:05.580 like seemed like a super cute couple Abby is planning on proposing to Harper on Christmas

00:30:10.900 morning asking her dad for the blessing to propose to Harper but there's one catch that I don't think 0.64

00:30:17.680 as a spoiler because you learn it very early on in the movie but harper isn't actually out to her

00:30:23.520 parents yet so it's kind of a situational comedy where for the five days that they're up there

00:30:30.440 they have to hide their relationship because harper's dad is running for mayor and they're

00:30:38.740 like perfect kind of nuclear family upper class like very white american family um and everything

00:30:46.820 needs to run perfectly for his what's the word nomination campaign so because Abby's parents

00:30:54.480 died when she was younger she's introduced as Harper's orphan roommate who doesn't have any

00:31:00.720 family of her own to spend Christmas with um so they have to deal with Harper's highly strong

00:31:06.480 mother and older sister Sloane who is played by Alison Brie and there's a people-pleasing middle

00:31:13.020 sister called Jane who's played by Mary Holland and who's actually one of the co-writers. Aubrey

00:31:18.540 Plaza is also in it she plays Riley who's Harper's high school ex-girlfriend and the amazing Daniel

00:31:25.000 Levy from Schitt's Creek plays Abby's best friend John so it's like really good cast lots of

00:31:30.240 highlights. It's written by Claire Duvall and Mary Holland and it was directed by Duvall who said in

00:31:36.540 an interview with the New York Times that she actually modelled Kristen Stewart's character

00:31:41.200 abby off of herself um as she came out to her mother on christmas day so opinions i personally

00:31:47.500 really really liked it it was a bit corny in parts um but i think all christmas movies are

00:31:54.420 right like it's kind of like american hallmark christmas movie the one thing though that was

00:32:01.760 like oh my god was harper's character is super toxic and like gaslights abby throughout the

00:32:07.060 whole movie and there's been a lot of back not a lot but there's been some backlash and criticism

00:32:12.040 on twitter especially with people saying this is a lesbian version of get out but you know

00:32:17.720 christmas movies are meant to be slightly predictable it's a warm like a warm and fuzzy

00:32:22.920 feeling everyone's feel good kind of thing um but it was really refreshing and nice to see

00:32:29.360 lgbtqi plus representation within that american christmas hallmark genre in an interview for the

00:32:36.360 New York Times their cast are chatting about the internalized homophobia in commercial and

00:32:41.820 mainstream movies and Kristen Stewart says I always felt as long as we felt sold going in

00:32:47.240 we could be like any aspirational really self-assured couple in a way that strips any

00:32:51.760 kind of discomfort or internalized homophobia that is undeniably applied to same-sex couples

00:32:57.520 in commercial projects like did we seem like lesbians or were we just two women in love and

00:33:02.780 then we do a christmas movie and i think that is very true because it's definitely still a very

00:33:08.220 american very mainstream movie but they're just two women in love instead of a heterosexual couple

00:33:14.020 obviously it has themes of like um being in the closet and coming out to your family etc

00:33:18.720 i also read a piece by julian rizzo smith for syrup that sums up perfectly and he was kind

00:33:25.440 enough to read out some of his words for us the overarching narrative of the classic christmas

00:33:32.200 rom-com is simple boy meets girl boy wants girl to meet the parents hilarity ensues conflict arises

00:33:38.860 love and the gift of giving wins or girl meets boy girl struggles with the idea of dating or

00:33:45.200 the meaning of christmas girl falls in love with boy ergo girl falls in love with christmas

00:33:49.660 it's a true and tried formula seen in the likes of love actually the holiday family stone for

00:33:55.640 christmases etc etc you name it it has it but no matter who stars in it or when it first released

00:34:01.980 one thing has always felt factual. These films were never meant for us.

00:34:07.300 Sure, Happier Season is endearingly tacky as all Christmas movies are, maintains all the tropes of

00:34:13.260 a cheesy Christmas flick, and raises the question of whether queering a heteronormative narrative

00:34:17.440 is what we as a community really want in our queer films, but I excuse all of that because 0.54

00:34:22.340 it's the first time I've ever seen myself reflected in a genre that so harshly wants

00:34:26.300 nothing to do with people like me. Plus, it's just simply fun to watch.

00:34:31.980 I love that. That is so special and I'll definitely be heading to the cinemas if they're open to watch this. But I think it's very important when we talk about LGBT representation or especially like racial representation or whatnot, that we actually get normal narratives as well. It's not always a hard hitting educational or very much like socially, social issue driven films.

00:34:56.300 it's very nice that oh look people can also have that conventional love story i think a lot of some

00:35:03.180 people are saying like it's really traumatic and right they want just like a normal christmas

00:35:08.560 movie where there's no like none of those themes around like queer trauma do you know what i mean

00:35:14.420 yeah yeah yeah that's what some people were saying but i loved it and i think that this

00:35:18.620 could become like a christmas classic you know what i mean yeah so i hope i haven't given too

00:35:22.880 much away um it's really good and i'd really recommend watching it whether you watch at the

00:35:27.880 cinemas or it's gonna come out on hulu i don't know what the equivalent of that is in australia

00:35:32.340 maybe go support some independent cinemas we went to new farm cinemas um up here in brizzy

00:35:37.420 so yeah that was fun and we spoke a little bit about this last week but it's officially

00:35:44.520 a recommendation we're going to chat some more about it uh what are you recommending this week

00:35:49.440 Yeah, so this week I finished reading Ghosts by Dolly Alderton.

00:35:54.060 And I don't know why ghosts.

00:35:55.640 It's so difficult to say.

00:35:57.020 Is it just a me thing?

00:35:59.020 Ghosts.

00:35:59.560 You say it.

00:36:01.100 It is a bit weird.

00:36:02.000 Ghosts.

00:36:02.100 Yeah, see?

00:36:03.160 Ghosts.

00:36:04.580 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:36:06.500 So because I hate doing synopsises of books,

00:36:10.460 I'm just going to read out the one that they have. 0.92

00:36:13.880 32-year-old Nina Dean is a successful food writer 1.00

00:36:17.660 with a loyal online following.

00:36:19.440 but a life that is falling apart. When she uses dating apps for the first time she becomes a

00:36:24.920 victim of ghosting and by the most beguiling of men. Her beloved dad is vanishing in slow motion

00:36:31.280 into dementia and she's starting to think about aging and the gendered double standard of the

00:36:36.820 biological clock. On top of this she has to deal with her mother's desire for a midlife makeover 0.98

00:36:42.980 and the fact that all her friends seem to be slipping away from her. So yes we did talk about

00:36:48.440 this in last week's episode and I think a conclusion that we both drew thanks to our friend

00:36:53.200 Jessica Rigger that Dolly's voice is very strong in this and it's very hard not to imagine her as

00:37:00.040 the main character here nonetheless I really enjoyed this and I'll try not to repeat myself

00:37:05.660 again but this sort of fiction writing I didn't really know existed just because I haven't delved

00:37:11.800 too much in fiction writing that it is yes it is a fiction make-believe story but it just feels

00:37:18.080 very real to me when I was reading this I feel like the characters were very vivid and the

00:37:23.460 storylines were kind of relatable do you have any thoughts I know this is not your recommendation

00:37:27.660 wait have you read any more since last week no okay so I'll be carrying this on by myself but

00:37:34.200 I think they're very important topics I feel like the biological clock thing is something that's

00:37:38.860 being spoken about more and more um and it kind of relates to like just fertility in general

00:37:46.300 obviously and how there's so much pressure on women to like get our lives in order and also

00:37:52.360 relates back to our first conversation about like trying to be quote unquote successful or like

00:37:57.800 achieve the things you want to achieve in life like with women that is this literal clock like 0.99

00:38:02.520 hanging over you like I thought that I want to be a young mom because my mom was like 22 when she 1.00

00:38:07.680 had me and like my grandma was really young she had my mom and so I was like oh I want to be like

00:38:12.580 a young-ish mom like 25 26 and now I'm like um maybe 30 I don't know but that's something I have

00:38:20.780 to think about unless you have the privilege to freeze your eggs and um that's a whole another

00:38:27.700 topic when I was reading this I felt like a lot of especially the friendships were painted very

00:38:32.120 much from her own life I felt like they were just so almost realistic that um you know a lot of her

00:38:37.860 friends that have like babies in this book the mothers are like stressed out whatnot but the

00:38:43.880 husbands literally just sit around like drinking or not caring and that's kind of the double

00:38:48.120 standard that she also refers to as well on another note I feel like one of the relationships

00:38:53.120 that I really appreciated in this book was the one of her and her dad who has dementia I just

00:38:58.720 found it such a unexpected plot of this novel but it wasn't something I had come across that much

00:39:07.760 especially in my own like fiction reading and I think it was done really well it was like heart

00:39:13.500 wrenching to read but her dad as a character who is like very intelligent and witty and caring

00:39:19.640 it was just it was just a character that you're bound to love and not pity but like it's just

00:39:25.960 like gut-wrenching seeing the slow decay of of him I guess. So why do you recommend this book?

00:39:32.360 I recommend this book because I think it was just simply a very enjoyable read.

00:39:37.380 I am so delighted by her writing.

00:39:40.840 I love how, yes, it's kind of a predictable storyline in terms of it's about her love

00:39:44.760 life and her friends and her family, but I absolutely loved.

00:39:48.600 Surprisingly, what I liked about this was just like the random witty commentary that

00:39:52.700 she had on modern life and the little things that you're like, oh yeah, I agree with that

00:39:58.160 without knowing it.

00:39:59.860 I don't know how to describe that.

00:40:01.080 just like little tendencies that we have as humans that you know when someone points out you're like

00:40:06.460 oh my god I feel very seen also I'm just going to read out a little bit now and please do not be

00:40:12.480 offended friends I love going to the movies with everybody I just want to preface this if there's

00:40:17.460 one visible warning sign that a friendship has become faulty it's a point when you realize you

00:40:22.900 only ever want to go to the cinema with them and not dinner and the cinema I mean meeting outside

00:40:28.440 the Leicester Square Odeon 10 minutes before a specifically late showing of a film, then having

00:40:34.200 a quick catch-up during the trailers, an excuse to leave as soon as it's over because all the pubs

00:40:39.920 are about to close. It is a platonic version of no longer wanting to have sex with your long-term

00:40:45.420 boyfriend. It is a lingering, looming sense that something is no longer working, pervaded by a

00:40:51.340 reluctance to fix it. I had started, for the first time in over 20 years of friendship,

00:40:56.680 longing to only meet Catherine at the cinema 10 minutes before a late film began do you hate that

00:41:02.980 I find that hilarious like I find it sad see I love going to the cinemas with like great friends

00:41:12.220 whoever but I love the fact that you don't have to talk to people I love that quiet comfort and

00:41:17.560 like non oh yeah like expectation of friendship I know it's silly I love it I find it funny though

00:41:23.040 I think it's the marker of a good friendship though when you can do like things like that

00:41:27.480 you don't have to constantly be like hey let's do this and let's do that and yeah you can just

00:41:30.860 sit in silence but yeah I think no I'm when I say it's sad I think it's sad that her friendship has

00:41:36.280 like come to that yeah yeah yes I feel like a few of our listeners are also high low fans

00:41:41.500 so if anyone else is reading this book let me know your thoughts I need some more people on my side

00:41:46.920 and I will finish it one day

00:41:49.160 well that's all we have time for for this week's episode thank you again for listening we very

00:41:58.680 much appreciate it stay tuned for next week and we will have a special interview as well

00:42:03.480 and if you've listened this far and are enjoying what you're hearing then please give us a little

00:42:09.880 rate and review on apple podcasts because that would mean a lot to us and it would mean more

00:42:15.020 people will find our work or you can find some pretty pictures and funny memes on our instagram

00:42:21.380 at culture club pot but for now we will chat to you next week bye see you

Culture Club - November 30, 2020

(Not So) Pretty Little Thing

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