00:00:00.440Today's episode of Diabolical Lies is brought to you by Botox, Ozempic, My Blonde Hair Exodus, Your Blonde Hair Return, Alex Earle's poreless face, the media industry's endless thirst for interviewing white 20-year-old women about ageism, Jessica DeFino, Tressie McMillan-Cottom, My Declining Mental Health and Book Tour, and the tyranny of Zoom calls during the pandemic.
00:00:23.020Okay, let the record reflect that I am not blonde again.
00:02:50.780Okay, this must be targeting that I'm getting as a former Alabama sorority wench, but it's basically like this trend on TikTok where people will juxtapose two pictures of themselves, one from the year before they, basically when they're seniors in high school, okay, so they are children, and it's like before they go to an SEC school and then when they're graduating from the SEC school.
00:03:14.100and the transformation is pretty predictable it's like you kind of become a beauty queen so
00:03:20.080you you essentially come in looking like a normal also though probably like thin white already
00:03:26.980attractive you know young woman right and you come out with like the big barrel curls and like
00:03:32.340usually you're blonde and you're glossy and you're shinier and your makeup is perfect and your outfit
00:03:36.680is perfect and you look like a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader basically but after being served
00:03:42.200enough of those, I was like, you know, there should be a trend that's like the SEC school
00:03:47.480glow down, where it's like what you look like when you graduate from one of these institutions
00:03:52.740and then 10 years later, when you've been like bedraggled by the late capitalist state
00:03:58.660and, you know, you can't afford the highlights anymore and you have a real job and a young0.99
00:04:03.560child and like your life is going to shit.0.99
00:04:06.460I'm like, that would be the more interesting transformation.0.99
00:04:09.500I won't claim to have a young child or have been bedraggled by the late capitalist state,
00:04:13.620but I definitely feel like, well, we'll just say this.
00:04:18.460After the latest season of America's Sweethearts,
00:04:20.860I went to Sephora and I purchased every Charlotte Tilbury product
00:04:24.840that was used in the makeover episode.
00:04:30.640Caroline, I sent you a selfie with the pink pillow talk eyeshadow on.
00:04:34.720I haven't graduated to the point of like directly embedding these enhancements into my face, but I am back on the grind of spending money on and thinking about my appearance again.
00:04:48.580And I think that to your point about feeling insecure, I think it's often driven by that sense of floating a little too far away from the norm.
00:05:25.400They do not matter to the work that I do.
00:05:27.300They do not hold value to what I offer. But I had to look at pictures of myself constantly. In the weeks leading up to book release, I was on Zoom calls for like five hours a day doing press, staring at myself.
00:05:43.240I would have to look at clips that interviews made of me where it was like I wasn't in control
00:05:48.260with how they clipped me. And I was pregnant. And so it was like my body was changing.
00:05:54.640I've done my entire book tour in the second and third trimester of my pregnancy. And at the same
00:06:00.780time, people were talking about my novel, obviously, but they were also talking about me.
00:06:04.540And they were picking both apart in ways that I was not prepared for. And I have thought about
00:06:09.640this quite a bit because I feel very confident that if I was not pregnant during this time period,
00:06:15.080I absolutely would have channeled all of my anxiety into my appearance. I definitely would
00:06:19.960have gotten Botox. I would have microneedled. I was like, right before I became pregnant,
00:06:25.420I was already thinking about it quite a bit because like, frankly, the interviews had already
00:06:29.160started picking up. I would have probably tried to lose weight. There would have been like a huge
00:06:33.540fixation for me on how I looked and it was a real wake-up call for me about like just how
00:06:40.300malleable our politics are based off of the context of our environment yeah I mean the personal is
00:06:46.420political yeah kind of the flip of it where it's like and you are a human having a human experience
00:06:52.200and like you are susceptible to these feelings whether they are legitimate or not of the danger
00:07:00.660of being, I think in this case, it's like being excommunicated from the tribe. Like there is like
00:07:05.280a real sense of wanting to fit in and like gain acceptance. I think this was actually something
00:07:10.480that they said came up a lot. If I remember correctly, a lot of the increase in plastic
00:07:16.800surgery and aesthetic intervention following 2020 was something that they kind of blamed on Zoom,
00:07:24.260that for the first time people were en masse looking at themselves all day long in a way
00:07:29.820that was completely unnatural and like suddenly becoming aware of their looks in a way that maybe
00:07:35.560had been more in the background before. Totally. And we're going to talk about that today.
00:07:40.580It was just something I've thought about as I've been doing work on this episode. And I think
00:07:44.420something that I kind of tried to take to its final conclusion was the idea of like, okay,
00:07:48.340well, what did I think I was going to get if I did do Botox? And I think the really honest answer
00:07:52.660is that I probably had some sort of subconscious correlative thing in my head where it's like,
00:07:57.900well, the prettier I am, the more seriously people will take me, the more they'll like my
00:08:02.140book, which is, yeah, exactly. But this is essentially the theory of pretty privilege,
00:08:07.660that the more beautiful you are, the more you conform to certain standards related to youth,
00:08:12.780to thinness, and to white Western European standards of aesthetics, the more you're going
00:08:17.360to be rewarded. The part two of this definition that has become more commonplace in recent years
00:08:23.180with the rise of accessible cosmetic procedures
00:08:25.680is that if you aren't born with these traits