Missing Witches - October 17, 2021


MW Hildegarde of Bingen - Dare to Declare Who YOU Are

Topics
WF Ylva Mara Radziszewski - The World Needs You, Witch WF Sami of Foxglove Pharm - I Want To Live A Magical Life

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 1 minute

Words per minute

132.6

Word count

8,154

Sentence count

312

Harmful content

Misogyny

29

sentences flagged

Toxicity

15

sentences flagged

Hate speech

25

sentences flagged


Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
00:00:00.000 Witches, before we start this episode, I want to invite you. We're hosting a circle, a virtual
00:00:06.420 circle, and if you'll be there with us, then you'll also be part of our Samhain special this
00:00:11.460 year. We're inviting leading art witches, death witches, tech witches, activist witches, science
00:00:17.600 witches, and I suspect that includes you, so come. You'll find info on our website and on Eventbrite.
00:00:23.960 Just look for Missing Witches, Samhain Circle.
00:00:27.080 Look for the door into the unknown country. 0.56
00:00:29.620 It's free. It's open to awe.
00:00:32.340 Come, come, come. 1.00
00:00:34.580 You aren't being a proper woman, therefore you must be a witch. 1.00
00:00:41.140 You must be a witch. 1.00
00:00:44.680 This is the story of a woman, a child, 0.87
00:00:48.340 walled away in a dilapidated monastery in the heart of the medieval Catholic Church.
00:00:53.960 whose life and work triumphs this truth.
00:00:58.360 That there are ways out even when you're trapped.
00:01:01.780 That your body, no matter its condition, is a vessel of the living universe,
00:01:07.220 singing through you and for you to sing with.
00:01:09.820 You are of value all on your own, and you are also of a vast chorus,
00:01:15.120 and there are infinite roots and roots to opening ourselves to the teeming lifeness of this life.
00:01:21.680 Even when the combined curiarchy that grasps at you and us all of patriarchy, capitalism, racism, misogyny has you cornered, there are tools at hand for carving out a margin of peace and emancipation and of power.
00:01:39.080 this episode of missing witches is dedicated to prophet mystic visionary healer organizer
00:01:46.680 artist composer brewer baker writer architect maker hildegard of bingen to our chorus of
00:01:56.980 questions about the unknown or not yet understood electric the dimension of mystery that is part of
00:02:03.300 life in countless cultures and traditions, we add Hildegard, a 12th century nun who saw the visions
00:02:10.060 in her mind's eye all her life, and then, in middle age, when the average woman of the time
00:02:15.100 would have been nearing a death by childbirth, illness, poverty, or violence, she spoke her
00:02:21.280 truth out loud about the things spirit told her, voiced the things that only she could hear,
00:02:27.520 and stood tall and fierce, though wracked with pain,
00:02:33.920 shone even in the dark with what she called the living light,
00:02:37.460 or in other contexts, the greenness.
00:02:42.360 On May 10, 2012, the Pope cast a spell of canonization
00:02:46.520 and Hildegard of Bingen was transformed into a saint of the universal church.
00:02:52.380 Fiona Maddox, whose book Hildegard of Bingen, The Woman of Her Age,
00:02:55.800 was totally my favorite reference
00:02:57.700 in researching this piece. 1.00
00:02:59.580 Her wry feminist vision is a gift.
00:03:02.560 Writes,
00:03:03.640 The Pope had quoted Hildegard
00:03:05.340 in the context of the Roman Catholic Church's
00:03:07.460 recent sex abuse scandal.
00:03:09.940 In the vision of St. Hildegard,
00:03:11.560 the face of the Church is stained with dust.
00:03:14.720 Her garment is torn
00:03:15.760 by the sin of priests.
00:03:18.140 The way she saw and expressed it
00:03:19.780 is the way we have experienced it this year.
00:03:22.660 He also noticed that her keen interest
00:03:24.660 in the sciences was a natural extension of her spirituality, since in her eyes the entire
00:03:29.580 creation is a symphony of the Holy Spirit. It was hardly surprising that Benedict, a German as well
00:03:35.860 as an accomplished musician, would push for her official sanctity. He went a step further. On the
00:03:41.380 7th of October 2012, he made her a doctor of the church, a title given to those whose writings or
00:03:46.500 teachings have had a particular impact. There being only 35 in total, Hildegard is an exclusive
00:03:52.480 of Company. Others include Saints Augustine, Thomas Aquinas, Catherine of Siena, and her own
00:03:58.920 great ally, Bernard of Clariveau. This proved one of the last major decisions in Benedict's
00:04:06.260 pontificate. Today she is best known for her music, yet her compositions form only a small
00:04:11.040 part of her story. She was a polymath, a visionary, a theologian, a preacher, an early scientist and
00:04:17.600 physician, a prodigious letter writer who numbered kings, emperors, and popes among
00:04:22.780 her correspondents. She was an artist not only in the musical and literary sense, but
00:04:28.380 in painting and, it would seem, architecture. She even invented her own coded language.
00:04:35.660 Her boldness, courage, and tenacity made her at once enthralling and haughty, intrepid
00:04:41.400 and irksome. By contrast, the ills and terrors caused by, or perhaps even causing, her spectacular
00:04:49.420 and overwhelming visions often rendered her helpless and torpid. So it was official. Hildegard,
00:04:57.780 both the torpid and the bold, was officially a saint, and I don't really care about that,
00:05:04.880 except that I love to see a woman of the 12th century, or any age, weave a magic so profound
00:05:09.920 that she made a safe place, a place of power for herself and other women, and from that magic
00:05:16.860 citadel she expanded the identity and gender of spirit, wrote of the holiness of the green earth
00:05:23.320 itself and our complete dependence on it, developed recipes for potions to deliver cures,
00:05:30.540 even a recipe for happiness baked into a perfect little cookie. Composed music was in fact the
00:05:36.700 first recognized composer, influenced politics, and with her own body in the throes of chronic
00:05:42.220 illness, became a portal between worlds that channeled prophecy and art and music and a
00:05:49.560 brilliant bit of joy and safety for herself and other girls. But look, I don't embrace or feel
00:05:55.960 good about all of Hildegard's work. Fiona Maddox makes clear that Hildegard's ideas are not the
00:06:02.400 progressive ideals we'd love to find in an astonishing woman writing and creating in the
00:06:06.680 12th century. Hildegard says things about keeping the classes of people separate and only takes
00:06:12.420 girls of good family with money into her convent, strategically maybe building up their combined
00:06:18.200 respectability and coffers and safety, and eventually opening a large convent for women 0.95
00:06:23.860 of lower classes too, which she visits regularly but still. She uses the trope of the poor feeble 0.52
00:06:29.280 woman extensively in her letters. And then she lays the voice of God on them with all her
00:06:34.560 undeniable authority and they generally cower before her. Interestingly, she doesn't waste 0.94
00:06:40.300 as much time with the little old me stuff when writing to other women. She also used her voice 0.97
00:06:45.180 and position to whip up passion for crusades. And you have to mourn and rage at the history of the
00:06:50.960 crusades, of religious colonization by violence in any form, by anyone. The crusades demonized
00:06:57.820 and murdered peaceful quote-unquote heretics, Jews and Muslims, and wired into Christian culture a
00:07:05.080 way of weaponizing a peaceful premise, a kind of cult logic that is still used to twist minds
00:07:10.400 toward hate and fear of other people, including queer and trans people today, and also to sell
00:07:16.460 Amway and Mary Kay and countless other religion and capital-entwined Ponzi schemes. Add this to 0.72
00:07:23.720 the list of reasons why I broke from the church of my childhood. Religion is a justification for 1.00
00:07:28.380 extortion, theft, and colonization. My family lived pieces of this. These are the roots and 1.00
00:07:36.460 roots of control and predation that I felt twined invisibly around my mind and heart when Sunday
00:07:41.220 service was my weekly rhythm, even when the message was one of revolutionary love.
00:07:48.000 I had to cut those ties, though I think it's possible to rewire them from the inside for the
00:07:53.300 purposes of healing and community and care. And if that's you, then more power to you.
00:08:00.380 But for me, I think I'm done with religion for this reason. For the way I feel it working in my
00:08:05.780 brain. As Donna Haraway writes, building on a quote from ethnographer of thinking practices,
00:08:11.480 Marilyn Strathairn, it matters what ideas we use to think other ideas with.
00:08:17.360 It matters what stories we tell to tell other stories with.
00:08:22.420 It matters what knots, not knots, what thoughts think thoughts,
00:08:26.460 what descriptions describe descriptions, what ties tie ties.
00:08:30.840 It matters what stories make worlds, what worlds make stories.
00:08:37.060 I don't want to build worlds out of stories based on shame or control or violence or othering anymore.
00:08:43.840 I don't want to benefit from extortion, threat, or theft.
00:08:47.780 That's why I'm out here doing this, looking for stories I have been missing,
00:08:52.240 and even for someone so deeply enshrined, entombed even, in the heart of the church.
00:08:57.720 I hear an ancestor to missing witches in Hildegard sometimes,
00:09:01.500 and those are the notes I want to follow and listen to
00:09:04.480 and lift up for us to sing along with even here today.
00:09:09.400 I love the living world.
00:09:12.920 As science delves deeper into the potential in waves of chemistry and electricity all around us,
00:09:19.040 mycelium networks and bacteria working to collaborate with us on environmental remediation
00:09:23.980 and species health and macro and microbiome healing out here at the edge of the end of this world
00:09:29.660 and the perpetual painful birth of the next,
00:09:33.260 I find my way to new roots of love for Hildegard.
00:09:36.700 Love for the work she put into understanding the delicate wisdom in the natural world,
00:09:40.860 in leavening and fermentation and voices raised in song.
00:09:45.440 Love for her authority and strength
00:09:47.280 and for her resilience through chronic illness
00:09:49.500 and love for the greenness that pervades her work.
00:09:54.000 She wrote,
00:09:55.060 Everything that is in the heavens, on earth, and under the earth
00:09:58.880 is penetrated with connectedness,
00:10:02.320 penetrated with relatedness.
00:10:05.500 With this and other lines reverberating from her
00:10:08.380 with the wisdom of the witch as above,
00:10:10.860 so below. I want to make a case for Hildegard as witch ancestor, with her sisters in their long hair
00:10:17.120 and tiaras, defying decades of rules that nuns should shave their heads and hide away, that they 0.72
00:10:22.540 didn't own their lives in the first place, these girls given by their families along with their
00:10:26.700 dowries as tithes to the church. I want to take their shiny tiaras and their hope and sisterhood
00:10:32.800 and all the bits and pieces that I like, like a magpie, and weave them into my nest of what it
00:10:37.620 means for me to be a witch because I like that word in the worlds it makes
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00:13:05.020 i want us to start first with this image and keep it in our minds as we try to understand her
00:13:15.320 hildegarde was literally walled up in a monastery and had funeral rites read over her at eight
00:13:22.120 or 12 we don't know for sure she doesn't tell us much about this time
00:13:26.660 but she would argue against the practice of child oblates later on in life
00:13:30.880 she was under the tutelage of a 14 year old named juta by the age of eight and when judah decided
00:13:38.300 since she wasn't allowed to go on crusade that she'd like to be an abbess hildegard's parents
00:13:43.820 sent her as well i feel sympathy for judah she recognized something special in hildegard
00:13:49.100 she starved herself and wore a chain against her skin that dug into her flesh all as part of her
00:13:55.240 complicated relationship to a spirituality I don't understand. Hildegard didn't follow in her
00:14:00.620 mentor's path of self-denial or self-harm, and I love that in a time when those attitudes were
00:14:06.580 popularized by the church, especially for women, this isolated young visionary took a different
00:14:12.660 path entirely, one that loved eating and drinking and being in the world. Hildegard was given by
00:14:20.380 her wealthy parents to the church, accustomed for tenth children that came with her dowry and her 0.68
00:14:25.600 complicated quiet pain. And even in this terror, this blatant echo of the brutal sacrifices of
00:14:31.720 virgins and countless other cultures that used a god to justify ways of terrorizing and controlling
00:14:37.560 women, she didn't die and she didn't disappear. Her voice didn't drown. She was a seed. She created.
00:14:47.680 her voice came bursting out of her and she got loud she gathered women and wrote music and books
00:14:55.280 and had a voice within her that spoke with such complete spirit and confidence that the pope
00:15:00.300 recognized her prophecy as divine and granted her safety which though precarious in a time of papal
00:15:06.580 schisms hung on her like a magic cloak her whole life buried in the dark she found a voice within
00:15:12.040 her full of power and she lived and thrived but let's circle back again because as you can tell
00:15:19.620 I attain great emotional heights reading Hildegard and reading about her I feel her magic in me but
00:15:25.660 then I crash she is beloved of contemporary Christians and new age natural healers alike
00:15:32.220 and both of those systems of thought tend to trigger my knee-jerk no thank you I like atheism
00:15:38.440 and science, though I talk to the trees and listen to the wind and write love notes to my house.
00:15:44.500 I was raised in a beautiful version of the church, to be clear and fair. My social justice hippie
00:15:49.960 Christian parents do it right as far as that's possible, I think. And I know many other
00:15:54.220 practitioners who find in the Bible, in that life of that beautiful anarchist socialist Jesus,
00:16:01.860 profound roots to healing and community building and to revolutionary magic.
00:16:06.800 I see that for many, and I send love and feel their great love in return,
00:16:12.160 gifted as they are at forgiveness.
00:16:14.360 But for me today, religion just exhausts me and terrifies me and makes me angry.
00:16:21.320 Even the beautiful, progressive, queer, united church ministers I bumped into in my Hildegard 0.94
00:16:26.240 readings seem to come with a giant warning sign for me, I don't know.
00:16:31.000 To me, religion, as it's been practiced, seems pervasively a history parallel to capitalism,
00:16:36.060 a history of systems defined by emerging brutality
00:16:39.200 of often good community-oriented ideas
00:16:43.100 turning towards the protection and accumulation
00:16:45.400 of the bits of power they manage to scrape together
00:16:48.140 which requires controlling the means of production 0.79
00:16:51.760 and growth of the religion 1.00
00:16:53.180 which means controlling women's bodies and minds for procreation 0.98
00:16:57.900 and controlling men's bodies and minds as tools 1.00
00:17:01.840 sometimes for building
00:17:03.700 too often collapsing towards violence
00:17:06.860 I'm furious at every single storyline
00:17:11.220 of every religion where the end result 0.96
00:17:13.140 is identities and modes of joy
00:17:15.500 erased
00:17:16.140 and walled in shame
00:17:18.580 people in chains again
00:17:21.080 children walled up
00:17:23.240 and married off to Jesus in a crypt
00:17:24.980 and honestly no wonder Hildegard says
00:17:26.880 she was anxious every day of her life
00:17:29.160 every single day
00:17:31.780 she had layers of good reasons for anxiety not that you need reasons when it's coursing through
00:17:38.400 your nervous system the vision that came to her over and over again and that she wrote and 0.93
00:17:43.820 published and preached about publicly behaviors that all already defied rules of how women were
00:17:49.320 allowed to behave the vision she saw was about the sickness in the church fiona maddox writes
00:17:57.080 as ever her chief concern was to denounce the evil and felony sweeping through the church
00:18:02.660 Her principal target is not mankind, but in the clergy,
00:18:06.260 who in her eyes neglected their duties and sought temporal power
00:18:10.160 and wealth over and above spiritual humility.
00:18:15.160 Heldegard was angry as hell at the church, at the clergy,
00:18:18.320 but her whole safety relied on those institutions too.
00:18:22.840 And her inspiration came from a voice she understood as God.
00:18:27.100 And the things she'd read and been raised in,
00:18:29.120 especially when she was alone with one other woman, a kid really,
00:18:33.720 who was bent on self-flagellation in the name of God,
00:18:37.560 shaped all her world and thoughts.
00:18:41.120 She described her visions as seeing a reflection of the light most of the time,
00:18:45.220 not the light itself.
00:18:47.540 And I think that's a clue to how she and other visionaries
00:18:50.080 shaped the pure inspiration they received
00:18:52.180 into the language and context of their own life and time.
00:18:55.700 those are the thoughts she used to think other thoughts
00:19:00.440 but when it comes to using the language of the church to think my thoughts
00:19:06.000 let alone the language of war and violence
00:19:09.000 I want to be done
00:19:11.140 I love and am fascinated by the spectacular impulse to awe in the brain
00:19:16.900 and I don't want to see that impulse to awe manipulated
00:19:20.520 bent and tortured into shapes
00:19:22.860 justifying endlessly duplicating misery and inequality here on earth.
00:19:28.260 I don't know exactly where that leaves me.
00:19:30.980 In debates in our house around atheism on one side
00:19:33.660 and agnosticism in a sense that the earth and universe
00:19:36.300 are profoundly alive in a vast way on the other,
00:19:39.920 we land on this.
00:19:41.400 Everything is sacred or nothing is.
00:19:44.080 Everything is sacred and nothing is.
00:19:47.780 It's our way of sitting in the crux of binary,
00:19:50.320 at the spot where the pulls of infinity meet
00:19:53.940 bowing to each other in a dance of double helix
00:19:57.660 we reject the brutality of division
00:20:00.060 in sacred versus profane
00:20:01.820 as the bio-art coven manifesto goes
00:20:05.200 our dances gesture to the play between purity and dirt
00:20:09.160 getting in touch with embodied ways of knowing
00:20:12.440 there's no such thing as dirt
00:20:15.380 only not watching close enough
00:20:16.940 there's no such thing as purity
00:20:19.320 only not looking at the entire picture
00:20:21.540 Hildegard was deep in her context
00:20:25.860 but still I feel like she gets it
00:20:27.760 or at least brings wild new dimensions
00:20:30.040 and complexity to the contemplation
00:20:32.300 of the nature of the divine at the time
00:20:34.120 of the purity in the living dirt
00:20:36.760 and she grounds her vision of the sacred
00:20:39.620 in the loving pulsing light
00:20:41.520 of all that lives and is
00:20:43.520 she wrote love abounds in all things
00:20:47.440 excels from the depths to beyond the stars
00:20:50.120 is lovingly disposed to all things
00:20:54.000 she has given the king on high
00:20:57.280 the kiss of peace
00:20:58.620 I know you heard that she in there
00:21:02.380 and smiled gentle listener
00:21:04.020 not because we need to impose a boring binary
00:21:07.740 to love or God when the nature of the living world
00:21:10.540 is so much more infinitely vast
00:21:12.580 but because we know the context, the dominance of the patriarchy, the way the divinity of woman
00:21:18.660 and of otherness was disappeared in order to be more effectively dominated.
00:21:24.400 And Hildegard, sprouting with the voice of all that is God, etc. from her cell, resisted.
00:21:33.000 In God Our Mother, the Feminine Cosmology of Julian of Norwich and Hildegard of Bingen,
00:21:38.180 Jennifer A. Hudson writes,
00:21:39.980 Hildegard's cosmology exists beyond binarisms because her cosmic vision is cyclical and in
00:21:46.180 this way is feminine and reaches beyond structure and chaos in that it constantly
00:21:52.100 negotiates the masculine with the feminine. In Hildegard of Bingen's vital contribution
00:21:58.660 to the concept of woman Abigail Favalli writes Hildegard's theology is intensely
00:22:04.660 incarnational, and yeah, I love this, a theology in and of the body. Abigail continues,
00:22:11.400 The material world is imbued with sacred significance and sacramental meaning. The
00:22:17.560 human body is a microcosm of the cosmos, which Hildegard conceives as an ordered, harmonious
00:22:22.520 whole. Her mystical vision of the universe is not a top-down hierarchy, but a cosmic egg with
00:22:28.780 interconnected nested layers, the earth at its heart. Hildegard's theology, following sacred
00:22:36.440 scripture, emphatically affirms that both woman and man carry the imago dei, which endows each
00:22:43.340 sex with equal dignity before God. My stepdad, Irish Catholic New Yorker, told me a story
00:22:51.100 recently, I think as part of his ongoing gestures of support towards my work with Missing Witches.
00:22:55.840 It was a story of having his mind cracked open by a Jesuit professor doing his undergraduate
00:23:00.720 studies at Notre Dame, a priest who argued passionately, with piles of theological support,
00:23:06.660 the still contentious point that God is neither male nor female, and also is perfectly male and
00:23:11.840 female, and there is no reason to privilege one gender over the other in how we speak of God.
00:23:17.380 Which my stepdad, skinny, tall, fiery as hell when he gets riled up, took as a challenge, 0.56
00:23:22.300 and wrote his papers that year with God-gendered female throughout, 0.79
00:23:26.560 an act of defiance and exploration and of discovery that stayed with him
00:23:30.980 and how he's viewed what we might call spirit or the love in the universe or the living light.
00:23:38.380 Hudson continues,
00:23:40.440 Balance and interconnection are a major crux of Hildegard's cosmology.
00:23:45.100 Balance and interconnection of masculine and feminine forces with humanity
00:23:48.840 mirror the balance and interconnection within divinity and the cosmos.
00:23:52.980 Moreover, Hildegard uses the feminine form in Latin, sapientia dei,
00:23:56.840 whenever she discusses Christ, which is similar to Julian of Norwich's use of God or Mother.
00:24:02.480 It is not so much that God exists as a sexless entity for Hildegard,
00:24:06.540 but rather as a balanced higher power that possesses a blend of masculine and feminine characteristics.
00:24:13.480 These divine qualities are in turn mirrored within both sexes of the human family.
00:24:18.840 And look, she may have seen divinity in the spectrum of the human family, but Hildegard was not a queer ally, and neither, clearly, is the church. 0.53
00:24:27.560 But as angry as I get at the history of the church and the failings of family members, feminists, witches before me, I need to grow myself in love. 0.54
00:24:37.440 I can't hate my own ancestors.
00:24:41.020 Though I raged at some of their choices and the systems they were cogs in, the classist, racist air they breathed,
00:24:46.820 breathed. I want to polish the things that do shine and trace the fine lines of light across
00:24:51.820 hundreds of years to follow the web that has been there and strengthening all the time. The light
00:24:58.480 of powerful creatrixes, spiders and fungi and theorists and poets and nuns, the rhythm of love
00:25:06.300 beyond boundaries. Hildegard wrote, we shall awaken from our dullness and rise vigorously
00:25:14.300 toward justice. If we fall in love with creation deeper and deeper, we will respond to its
00:25:20.780 endangerment with passion. And she wrote, gaze at the beauty of earth's greenings, what delight
00:25:28.140 God gives to humankind with all these things. All nature is at the disposal of humankind.
00:25:34.480 We are to work with it, for without it we cannot survive.
00:25:38.180 i used to fight with my grandfather over this idea that nature was given to humans
00:25:44.700 that it's all for us i still don't think that feels accurate it feels more to me like life
00:25:50.020 emerges in concert and we have a role to play in the ways that riotous noise can be a music
00:25:54.860 i have new thoughts on this since reading a piece by lila june indigenous activist musician and
00:26:01.800 educator when she wrote, we belong on the land. We belong in active participation with the land.
00:26:10.000 Without our gentle, loving, and reciprocal touch, our clipping, burning, pruning, and manicuring,
00:26:17.660 our mother falls apart. Just look at the pine beetles ripping through our national park forests.
00:26:23.700 Just look at the catastrophic fires gobbling up lands where our light indigenous fires used to
00:26:28.540 clear the light fuel load every single season for thousands of years. The earth needs us.
00:26:35.040 Do you really think creator would make humans without purpose? In the Yoruba language they 0.91
00:26:40.360 call humans the chosen ones because they were chosen to take care of and steward the land.
00:26:45.560 This is why it aches so deeply to see our mother earth crumble all around us.
00:26:50.900 To see coyote destroy ancient systems. To see coyote hijack our greed and fear to do so.
00:26:58.380 Because deep down in the marrow of our bones, we know we were created to care for her.
00:27:02.900 These big brains are not meant to maximize profits for the next fiscal quarter.
00:27:07.700 They are here to leverage skill and precision in the upkeep of complex, biodiverse ecosystems.
00:27:14.280 Time for us to relearn these practices again and do it together, as many hands make light work.
00:27:20.820 This land was densely populated by indigenous communities and extensively managed because we had the people power.
00:27:27.380 And we had the scientific know-how.
00:27:29.740 Some elders retain this knowledge, despite it being beaten out of us
00:27:33.200 and even demonized by the boarding school and parochial school systems.
00:27:37.720 Here we are, poised, ready to take it back again.
00:27:42.300 Take back our mantle and our role as Earth stewards.
00:27:47.460 Hildegard wrote,
00:27:49.160 The truly holy person welcomes all that is earthly.
00:27:53.360 All this leaves me with one of my few remaining prayers.
00:27:57.380 please make me of service to thee.
00:28:02.380 Hildegard writes and crafts and cooks and sings and brews beer and makes wine
00:28:06.880 in a time when fermentation isn't known or understood,
00:28:10.200 and it's considered a divine act.
00:28:12.880 God emerges in the bubbles when they choose. 1.00
00:28:16.020 It had been women tending to these kitchen miracles 0.95
00:28:18.280 until those crafts were gilded, and it was, surprise, 0.99
00:28:22.200 illegal for women to join the guilds, 0.65
00:28:24.480 and monks took over, with mostly unnamed women now assisting them.
00:28:29.320 Hildegard writes and studies at this small opening of time,
00:28:32.760 before the university system overtook the dominance of the abbeys and monasteries. 0.66
00:28:38.160 Under the university system, women were excluded and dehumanized again more completely, 1.00
00:28:43.660 pushed further out of circles of knowledge and power. 1.00
00:28:46.820 Working land they could never own, running industries they weren't allowed to profit from.
00:28:52.080 Murdered for having too much skill, too much voice. 0.97
00:28:56.240 Burned alive and called witch. 0.71
00:29:02.000 It's in this context, this between time behind a wall, 0.90
00:29:06.520 that she lets down her hair and begins to say the burning things she hears inside her own mind.
00:29:12.800 This flourishes into recipes, like hundreds of them,
00:29:16.060 dozens of utterly unique musical compositions written for the voices of her nuns,
00:29:21.820 startling illustrations of the geometry of the universe,
00:29:24.920 and remarkably accurate, for the 12th century, ideas about healing with plants.
00:29:30.860 In a paper called, Are the Correct Herbal Claims by Hildegard von Bingen Only Lucky Strikes?
00:29:37.600 A New Statistical Approach, a team of German and Swiss scientists focused on Hildegard's
00:29:42.340 references to 85 specific plants, one still being used today for medical purposes. They found 212
00:29:50.020 health claims by Hildegard from this group of plants, 30 of them cross-referenced as correct
00:29:55.020 in their claims according to contemporary standards. If she had been making the claims
00:30:00.060 up randomly, only between six and seven of her cures would have been accurate.
00:30:04.580 The study finds the probability of this happening just by chance is one in 10 million. They conclude
00:30:11.500 the hypothesis that Hildegard could have achieved her correct claims by chance
00:30:14.880 is to be clearly rejected on the basis of the highly significant level of our new statistical procedure.
00:30:20.600 The finding from this approach that medieval medical claims are significantly correlated with modern herbal indications
00:30:26.020 supports the importance of traditional medicinal systems as an empirical source.
00:30:31.620 This kind of statistical approach, beginning from a baseline of
00:30:34.880 she was guessing at random rather than
00:30:36.980 She was reading everything available at the time, including new translations from other cultures' knowledge bases,
00:30:42.220 and working in the monastery clinic and kitchen and testing plants and combinations,
00:30:46.140 and listening carefully to the women and men around her is useful, I guess?
00:30:51.880 And it's also kind of insulting and limited, and just a taste of how indigenous knowledge has been treated for hundreds of years by capitalist and settler science.
00:31:00.900 Patriarchy and industry combine to cut deep gashes in our understandings of the natural world still today.
00:31:06.980 Forest ecologist Suzanne Simard, author of Finding the Mother Tree, said in an interview
00:31:13.180 recently, I was always on the outside because it was a man's world. Women weren't allowed 1.00
00:31:18.140 into forestry until my generation. The whole perspective on forests was all from this one 0.99
00:31:23.520 gendered perspective. It very much focused on competition and dominance. Later in the interview 0.97
00:31:30.560 she goes on to say, even Darwin understood collaboration and now we know, after many
00:31:35.560 decades starting with Lynn Margulis who came up with the endosymbiotic theory that really evolution
00:31:41.600 is a co-evolution. With the microbiome we know that we're all this kind of consortium of species
00:31:49.400 but by the time the science got to that point the practices in agriculture and forestry
00:31:55.820 were really entrenched around trying to manage competition.
00:32:00.620 I think of it as trying to see with only one eye.
00:32:05.560 I think Hildegard was trying to see with more than one eye.
00:32:10.560 Should we be surprised that one who showed such determination to communicate the secrets of the heavens
00:32:15.080 should also want to reveal the workings of the earth, writes Fiona Maddox.
00:32:20.440 And she describes Hildegard's massive labor of love for the workings of the earth in this way.
00:32:25.960 The Physica, consisting of nine books listing almost a thousand plants and animals in German,
00:32:30.740 is a study of botany, zoology, stones, metals, and elements.
00:32:35.560 describing their physical and medicinal properties.
00:32:39.560 Cause e Cure, as its title indicates, examines the causes and cures of diseases,
00:32:45.720 relating them to what has been clumsily called an allegorical microcosmic physiology,
00:32:52.340 and offering remedies mainly using plants.
00:32:55.520 Hildegard includes details that would have to have come from her vast reading,
00:32:59.420 but also from conversations with local midwives, farmers, and fisherfolk.
00:33:03.640 not all her knowledge came from first-hand experience she includes for example the whale
00:33:09.220 listed as a fish rather than a mammal with a hearty recommendation to eat the flesh as a
00:33:14.700 panacea for most ills from fevers and egg to scruffula just as using a knife handle made
00:33:21.260 from whale bone will cure a painful arm and wearing shoes or a belt made from the skin
00:33:26.660 will banish infirmities in this way her books are a compendium of oral and written and channeled
00:33:33.140 knowledge. It doesn't all hold water today, but it's remarkable for the scale of the effort as
00:33:38.800 much as for the combination of sources and insights. Some of the many bits that have been
00:33:43.560 polished by contemporary writers and practitioners include her recipes for hoppy beers and happiness
00:33:48.880 cookies, two potions of which I am particularly fond myself. As a recent piece in Atlas Obscura
00:33:57.320 summarized, for a weak heart she proposes a daily teaspoon of wine for the heart consisting of boiled 0.54
00:34:02.640 parsley, honey, and wine. For stomach pain, a nightcap of wine mixed with powdered ginger,
00:34:08.380 Galangale, a ginger relative from Southeast Asia, and Zedoweri, another ginger cousin from India.
00:34:14.940 And for melancholy, she offers her cookies of joy, or nerve cookies, wielding the key ingredients of
00:34:21.280 spelt flour, nutmeg, cinnamon, and cloves to calm all bitterness of the heart and mind.
00:34:26.780 Open your heart and impaired senses, and make your mind cheerful. Hildegard is also
00:34:32.460 weirdly, delightfully beloved in hipster beer circles, and to be clear, I love hipster beer
00:34:37.600 circles, because she's responsible for the earliest surviving writings on the use of hops in beer.
00:34:43.520 As a result of its own bitterness, Hildegard wrote in the Physica circa 1150,
00:34:49.200 hops stops putrefaction when put in beer, and it may be added so that it lasts much longer.
00:34:57.100 Hops were in use by brewers before this mention, but Hildegard's writing is the first place we
00:35:01.520 find reference to it. She was noticing the natural world and how it weaves with us through food and
00:35:08.540 healing. Hildegard's opuses of music and drink and food and ecology come from the same place,
00:35:16.140 the same wellspring of love for the world. She wrote underneath all the texts, all the sacred
00:35:21.960 psalms and canticles, these watery varieties of sounds and silences, terrifying, mysterious,
00:35:29.500 whirling and sometimes gestating and gentle must somehow be felt in the pulse ebb and flow of the
00:35:37.080 music that sings in me her love of the world and her sense of the watery terrifying gestating and
00:35:45.780 gentle sound of the world came from a particular experience of being in a body from my early
00:35:51.700 childhood before my bones nerves and veins were fully strengthened i have always seen this vision
00:35:57.960 in my soul even to the present time when I am more than 70 years old. In this vision my soul
00:36:05.060 as God would have it rises up high into the vault of heaven and into the changing sky and spreads
00:36:11.700 itself out among different peoples although they are far away from me in distant lands and places
00:36:17.320 and because I see them this way in my soul I observe them in accord with the shifting of
00:36:22.980 clouds and other created things. I do not hear them with my outward ears nor do I perceive them
00:36:30.120 by the thoughts of my own heart or by any combination of my five senses but in my soul
00:36:35.460 alone while my outward eyes are open. So I have never fallen prey to ecstasy in the visions but
00:36:42.200 I see them wide awake day and night and I am constantly fettered by sickness and often in
00:36:48.740 the grip of pain so intense that it threatens to kill me. But God has sustained me until now.
00:36:57.980 There is a way that constant chronic pain transforms the texture of the world.
00:37:03.700 If you've experienced it, it's recognizable in Hildegard's visions, and I think I know that.
00:37:11.080 I mean, I can remember something like it, and when I think about it, it's always right there,
00:37:15.400 creeping up my back
00:37:17.720 lighting up behind my left eyelid
00:37:20.340 I struggled for a long time
00:37:23.700 wanting to talk about chronic pain
00:37:25.360 and the mind
00:37:26.120 connections with others
00:37:28.560 the way it makes this weaving
00:37:30.320 and dissolution of the self
00:37:32.240 but not knowing how
00:37:34.220 there's nothing more boring
00:37:35.580 than a decade full of days
00:37:37.280 with the same pain
00:37:38.520 and yet
00:37:39.400 sometimes there would be a loss of vision
00:37:42.980 the lights would get all blurry on the left side
00:37:46.220 I could see auras and halos
00:37:49.560 I had a migraine for ten years
00:37:52.400 it ebbed and flowed but it never stopped
00:37:56.040 until strangely it melted away
00:37:59.140 like Hildegard I experienced the most common feature of migraine
00:38:03.960 other than the headache
00:38:05.000 what Oliver Sacks describes as
00:38:07.540 a shower of phosphines in transit across the visual field
00:38:10.860 their transit being succeeded by a negative scotoma, or as she puts it, a great star most
00:38:17.380 splendid and beautiful, and with it an exceeding multitude of falling stars, which with the star
00:38:23.060 followed southward, and suddenly they were all annihilated. She rides the pain. Sometimes she
00:38:32.440 seems to use it, like the times when she's paralyzed until she gets her way, even when it's
00:38:37.560 not involved in her fighting for what she sees is needed against massively more powerful adversaries.
00:38:44.000 It fuels her vision of the kind of wisdom God wants us to find in the sparkling, joyful,
00:38:48.940 laughing beauty of the world. Pain turns the colors of the world up to eleven.
00:38:54.680 Matthew Fox in the intro to Civius writes, Hildegard does not lay out her theology of
00:38:59.900 wisdom abstractly. It was won by her at the cost of great pain. Physical, emotional, spiritual,
00:39:07.140 psychological, political, often sick, often misunderstood, often put down by males of
00:39:14.420 privilege in a church that was sexist. Hildegard knew what pain meant. She had tasted it. Her
00:39:20.940 response included a mature anger, a moral outrage at what she called the multiple imperfections of
00:39:26.860 the church, and a second response was a personal recycling of pain. One is able to be saved through
00:39:34.340 the bitter price of pain. Pain is in all grit building visions and redemption. It also fragmented
00:39:42.560 my focus so I couldn't properly plan or handle logistics. I don't think it made me a nicer
00:39:48.440 person. I could do groceries or cook or dishes, not all three in a single day. Or I could go to
00:39:55.480 work or school and if you added interpersonal interactions of any kind of emotional complexity
00:40:00.640 to that fragile pile. Then the pain would come from where it always sat at the base of my neck.
00:40:06.900 It would shoot out black arms around my waist so I couldn't breathe deeply for hours, sometimes
00:40:11.400 causing blackouts. The house was a mess all the time and we got behind on rent. Pain acts like
00:40:18.860 hunger on the brain. We narrowed to our snapping reptile selves. Pain stifles motivation. Hildegard
00:40:25.580 wasn't a visionary just because of pain, but because she listened through it. She watched,
00:40:33.640 and crucially, she dared to be exactly who she was, even though that brought her way off the
00:40:39.620 edge of the known world to share a vision that had room for both pleasure and joy in a way that
00:40:44.600 was completely challenging to the church and to patriarchy. Matthew Fox again, wherever patriarchy
00:40:51.200 in culture or in persons fails to teach the art of savoring and the joy of living, it is failing
00:40:58.480 in instructing us in wisdom. The building of a house of wisdom in ourselves as individuals and
00:41:05.160 in community with other humans and all other creatures of our earth is, for Hildegard, the
00:41:11.360 essential task of personhood and citizenship. It is the setting up of the unfurled divine tent that
00:41:18.080 exists in all creation and in every human being since it is the common task we are called to
00:41:24.740 this enterprise and none other is the source of community the communio the common task which
00:41:31.480 will render us a whole living breathing celebrating forgiving justice making compassionate and wise
00:41:39.840 people this is why we were born it is worth the struggle
00:41:48.080 Hildegard doesn't join in the struggle against patriarchy 1.00
00:41:52.560 in all the ways my modern feminism wants her to, of course.
00:41:57.480 She says some classically homophobic things
00:42:00.260 even while writing of her profound love for her student, Richardis.
00:42:04.960 Richardis died two years after leaving the Abbey
00:42:07.700 at the insistence of her brother and family,
00:42:10.440 and she died wishing she had never left Hildegard's side.
00:42:14.220 we can't know but i think she loved this woman and a community of women and i think she loved
00:42:23.220 the earth and wine and beer and thought perfectly spiced cookies could light you up with joy 1.00
00:42:29.460 she wasn't radical in all the ways i would have wanted she was classist and her love for the 0.99
00:42:35.260 church sounds like stockholm syndrome to me and i don't blame her being walled up would have bent
00:42:40.240 my brain. And as a witch, I would have used my fierce will to emerge in any way I could
00:42:45.800 trust me. And I think that's what Hildegard did. And I think she was wildly brave.
00:42:55.560 She wrote, dare to declare who you are. It is not far from the shores of silence to the
00:43:02.740 boundaries of speech. The path is not long, but the way is deep. You must not only walk there,
00:43:10.340 you must be prepared to leap. I think she left and changed the world. I think she found the way
00:43:17.260 to be an intellectual and a musician and a leader without getting burned alive.
00:43:24.220 Hildegard walks a very fine line in a dangerous time to grasp a power for herself and for the
00:43:30.300 living light of all that's green and she makes it out alive. Hildegard said women shouldn't wear 0.93
00:43:37.100 men's clothes and they shouldn't do men's work and the rules for nuns made clear they shouldn't
00:43:41.500 preach or travel and yet in her 60s she embarks on no less than four speaking tours. She leads
00:43:48.300 and writes and tells the truth she sees that the church is like a woman in danger at the hands of
00:43:54.520 a rapacious man, an image only more painful and potent today. She is caught in the language and
00:44:02.840 logic of the tools she had to think with, and she is illuminated by visions which exceed the grasp
00:44:08.780 of that net. From the age of three she sees, when fully awake, glowing symbolic images which land
00:44:15.960 with their meaning in her mind and give her insights about the time of Christ, the nature of
00:44:20.740 the church, the world to come, and the right move for the women she leads and protects.
00:44:26.660 She wrote, It happened in the year 1141 of the incarnation of God's Son Jesus Christ when I was
00:44:33.000 42 years and seven months old, that the heavens were opened and a fiery light of great brilliance
00:44:38.640 came and suffused my whole brain and set my whole heart and breast afire like a flame, yet not
00:44:44.180 burning but warming as the sun warms an object on which it sheds its rays. Suddenly I came to
00:44:50.180 understand the meaning of the Book of Psalms, the Gospel, and the other canonical books of both the
00:44:54.900 Old and New Testaments. Although I could not interpret the words of their texts nor divide
00:44:59.960 the syllables, and I had no knowledge of cases or tenses, yet in a marvelous way I had sensed
00:45:06.240 the power and mystery of secret wonderful visions in myself from girlhood, from the age of five even
00:45:12.780 to the present time. Barbara Newman writes, Hildegard herself was aware that the visions
00:45:18.220 had some connection with her delicate health and frequent sickness at the end of her last book on
00:45:24.060 the activity of god she describes her temperament as airy that is prone to suffer infirmities caused
00:45:30.440 by wind air and rain so that she can by no means enjoy any security of the flesh yet she adds that
00:45:38.180 otherwise the inspiration of the holy spirit would not be able to dwell in her as if the spirit were
00:45:44.480 literally a wind to which she had been physically sensitized. The further I go with Hildegard,
00:45:52.120 the further I want to go. I am in my 42nd year as I write this, and my feelings and words move
00:45:59.780 through me in clear reflection of the light on the lake, as though the spirit were the wind,
00:46:05.640 or the wind were spirit enough. I spent a day up to my elbows in roots and soil and mycelium,
00:46:11.020 digging plastic out of my neighbor's stream
00:46:13.080 and came home and canceled an interview I had lined up 1.00
00:46:16.300 for a very high-paying, stupid job. 1.00
00:46:19.580 I don't know where I'm going these days, 1.00
00:46:21.220 but I'm trying to listen.
00:46:25.240 I spent years in the grip of migraine
00:46:27.320 until I learned to move in collaboration with my muscles,
00:46:30.760 bones, nerves, and mind,
00:46:33.500 not trying desperately always to control and protect them.
00:46:37.760 my mind finally moved out of my neck and into the air around me the space i take up with all
00:46:46.500 my gestures all my dances with faith in the way that i can float out of a chair i started to say
00:46:54.100 exactly what i wanted to say in my writing it comes out in fits and starts it came out first
00:47:00.020 in network maps and papers spread across the floor and getting up to write down the things
00:47:05.100 that suddenly sounded clearly in the night.
00:47:08.680 It did not come from visions,
00:47:10.860 although I think I had one once.
00:47:12.920 I asked it to go away, and it obliged.
00:47:16.460 I cried and apologized to the empty air that was left after,
00:47:20.020 and I never talked about it.
00:47:22.480 But I walked in the windstorm of life
00:47:24.520 toward the work of opening myself,
00:47:27.780 telling the stories and calling out the questions I saw
00:47:30.260 with all the honesty I could,
00:47:32.160 and that was the deal I think I wrought
00:47:33.900 with the vision shown to me by my mind
00:47:36.020 or by whatever you believe in.
00:47:39.060 An emergence from the vast network of ideas
00:47:41.740 and experiences intersecting with the vast network of beings
00:47:44.980 that cohabitate with me in the air and the rain
00:47:47.460 and memories and ideas of our ancestors
00:47:50.220 and of all species.
00:47:53.420 A deal I think we all make.
00:47:56.360 The task of finding what will suffice,
00:47:59.300 as Wallace Stevens puts it.
00:48:00.720 scrambling to find what would suffice i came closer and closer to making the leap across the void
00:48:07.640 my singing voice would crack loose shortly thereafter and it was all a part of it
00:48:13.520 of walking out of migraine and into being this utterly strange and perfectly familiar self
00:48:20.040 to myself hildegard wrote we cannot live in a world that is not our own
00:48:25.600 in a world that is interpreted for us by others.
00:48:29.560 An interpreted world is not a home.
00:48:32.840 Part of the terror is to take back our own listening, 0.98
00:48:36.800 to use our own voice,
00:48:39.180 to see our own light.
00:48:42.560 Don't stop singing. 0.97
00:48:45.840 Witches, or whatever you call yourself,
00:48:48.440 oh person imbued with the electricity of unique thought, 0.95
00:48:51.940 brought to your knees by awe,
00:48:53.320 blessed with pleasure and joy and sadness and anger
00:48:56.800 in your own ways of feeling and healing
00:48:59.220 and being rooted in this world which holds and owns us
00:49:02.880 hear her calling to you across the centuries
00:49:06.100 don't stop singing
00:49:08.840 hear it as a song
00:49:11.700 the chant of women told they were poison 0.90
00:49:14.100 dangerous, less than 0.99
00:49:16.600 witches raising their voices and knowing they are of beauty
00:49:20.620 hear it in the song that courses through all things and calls life forth from other cultures 0.98
00:49:26.140 into sacred ancient sakes and our daily bread take back your own listening dare to declare who
00:49:34.080 you are call yourself what you like love and honor what you can from your ancestors far and wide and
00:49:40.940 deep in the soil beneath us cross the shores of silence when it's time to sing out in praise or
00:49:47.120 to mourn or to rage and right a wrong. Grow your hair long. Give yourself a tiara of self-love.
00:49:53.860 Build a world of protection for the vulnerable as best you can, even if that vulnerable one you
00:49:59.100 protect right now is you, you strange and familiar being you. For witches writing to us or bringing
00:50:06.060 up the question about coming out of the broom closet in our coven conversations, perhaps imagine
00:50:11.180 this. There is no closet. There are only circles of protection. All the places we have hid have
00:50:20.960 been a shelter and a home. Even our own shame has been an act of love outstretched by our
00:50:27.900 shadow selves, trying to understand what we need in response to the shaming world, trying
00:50:33.900 to keep us safe as best she can.
00:50:37.820 Thinking of the key, we confirm the prison, as Elliot wrote.
00:50:42.520 It matters what thoughts we use to think other thoughts.
00:50:46.560 So choose your keys and tools and songs.
00:50:51.240 Map your circles of protection and give them new names.
00:50:55.020 And give yourself the grace to choose how you enter and exit
00:50:58.260 and use them day to day, context by context.
00:51:01.880 if you are walled within an abbey or trapped within chronic pain mental illness or the
00:51:07.320 infuriating mire of inequality remember to breathe in the unseen ancestors and with them begin to
00:51:15.360 chant or dance or chart against the insides of your eyelids the vastness of your own mind
00:51:22.080 and the dancing spheres of your own breath see the brilliance of your imagination and your
00:51:27.700 interaction with the unseen world, the living light, the greenness. Take back your own listening
00:51:34.380 and hear this 12th century saint calling to you with love and all us witches calling to you.
00:51:40.440 Don't stop singing. Dare to declare who you are. We are here in the circle the darkness
00:51:49.080 makes between our ears, listening and singing with you. 1.00
00:51:57.700 You must be a witch. 0.99
00:52:27.700 Thank you. 1.00
00:52:57.700 Thank you.
00:53:27.700 Thank you.
00:53:57.700 Thank you.
00:54:27.700 Thank you.
00:54:57.700 Thank you.
00:55:27.700 Thank you.
00:55:57.700 Thank you.
00:56:27.700 Thank you.
00:56:57.700 Thank you.
00:57:27.700 Thank you.
00:57:57.700 Thank you.
00:58:27.700 Thank you.
00:58:57.700 Thank you.
00:59:27.700 Thank you.
00:59:57.700 Thank you.
01:00:27.700 Thank you.
01:00:57.700 Thank you.
01:01:27.700 You