Missing Witches - MW Rx. 50 - You Are Not Alone

00:00:00.000 If you want to support the Missing Witches project, join the Coven.

00:00:04.220 Find out how at missingwitches.com

00:00:06.860 Hi Coven, hi Risa!

00:00:26.700 Hi Amy, hi Coven.

00:00:30.000 Happy new moon in Taurus. How's your body feeling?

00:00:34.600 Yeah, we had a wonderful meeting with our coven where we talked about bodies and our attempts to love them despite their imperfections.

00:00:44.240 And just, I don't know, it really feels like important for me at this time of year to just come back to paying attention to my body.

00:00:55.020 like walk in the rain get my hands in soil eat food from different cultures and feel what it's

00:01:04.280 teaching me like feel how my body aches when I cough and remember when it was strong and I

00:01:11.220 hiked to the bottom of the Grand Canyon and hiked back out in a snowstorm screaming

00:01:16.200 Yeah. I mean, I spent like the last however many prescriptions talking about how I had injured my back like, what, a month ago or something like that.

00:01:28.700 And so I think like there's a certain maybe false egotism that makes me think that like I'm as strong as I was when I was a young thing.

00:01:46.900 And, you know, lifting a 65 pound bag of gravel was no big deal. And as my body ages a little bit, just a little bit, I just have to be more careful. But I'm not great at being careful. I'm not great at like thinking before I jump into a task. So being present in my body becomes increasingly important.

00:02:12.660 yeah yeah it's hard I don't always want to be in there I like being up in the headspace the

00:02:21.020 brain space in the universe in the lunar mind and being with all of you in my imaginings

00:02:25.460 but then like I don't know I've had this cough for three weeks so it's like I forget that I'm

00:02:30.500 in a body momentarily and then the virus that has possessed me shakes all my bones again and

00:02:39.960 i have to lie down and i'm like oh right we're we're here we're in this she's here we're here

00:02:46.760 yeah boobs and bum and all yeah and for me like as someone with anxiety um

00:02:55.860 my anxiety is always tied to nausea like it's like an instantaneous like my brain has a thought

00:03:06.740 and my stomach churns so for me like my my body and mind have always been very very connected

00:03:13.620 you know we we often talk about like oh I wish I was like a brain in a jar and I could just have

00:03:18.660 ideas or whatever but for me like they've always been intrinsically tied to one another like I know

00:03:27.080 that my gut is connected to my brain and all of those things are connected to my mouth and my

00:03:32.900 hands my ears how I hear things and my mouth how I say things and and so I think it's important

00:03:43.320 again to like recognize those connections to recognize that even if you want to be a brain

00:03:48.940 in a jar that means you don't get to sing songs with your throat and lungs and tongue it means

00:03:57.800 that you don't get to pet your cat or your dog

00:04:02.640 and feel their soft fur on your fingertips, you know.

00:04:06.100 So many of us, so, so very many of us

00:04:10.500 have been sort of trained by society to hate our bodies.

00:04:14.680 And even if we don't love the way we feel

00:04:20.100 or love the way we look,

00:04:21.540 there's so much to love about having a body.

00:04:24.240 There's so very, very much to love about having a body and existing inside a sensual experience of life.

00:04:33.000 Yeah, I really struggled to remember that. Honestly, I, I, I injured my neck when I was a young kid. And I like I did a flip at a gymnastics after school program with poor supervision and a thin hard mat landed on my neck and had to walk home alone.

00:04:53.040 we had just moved to Montreal, walk home across the Decaire. And I just remember feeling like my

00:05:00.520 self was floating over my body. Like I felt like I was really long and detached. I was probably like

00:05:08.620 eight. And I really, like I can so clearly see that moment as being the moment when this kind

00:05:16.160 of detachment happened, where it was like, the body was the rag doll, the body could get hurt.

00:05:23.040 You know, the body could get like, just so quickly, I could try to do something, someone

00:05:27.460 not notice, I could just get broken, I could get hurt, I could walk home alone with cars

00:05:32.300 zooming by, like, what is this?

00:05:33.840 And it just, it was so much fragility that I don't think I could fully handle it.

00:05:40.120 And so for me, and I was always just so overwhelmed with the fragility of people anyway, like

00:05:47.160 my sister was recently reminding me that she was little, she came upstairs and I was flat

00:05:52.280 out on the newspaper sobbing with ink all over my face um I've just always been like that like

00:05:59.300 it's just too much and so I have to like yeah I had to like pull up and out and so it's been a lot

00:06:06.200 of work for me and like coming back in even if it doesn't feel good and like feeling in the places

00:06:12.320 that are numb and being gentle with them and like trying to stretch into it and that's like

00:06:16.420 I think lifelong work like even though it's something where sometimes I feel like I've

00:06:21.260 had some sort of electric breakthrough and the juices are moving and I feel unified and then

00:06:28.520 something happens and I'm like oh I'm I'm floating above it again and I have to come back down and

00:06:33.860 let myself feel it all I don't know if you guys relate to that but that is where I I am in that

00:06:40.120 back and forth so much right now with the news of the world and just wanting to I think my body

00:06:48.160 also just always wants to like be in the midst of things like just put me in it put me in it chief

00:06:55.440 you know like put me in coach and um and I live like pretty remote and have a little kid who's

00:07:01.580 the most important thing to me so that's like a complicated draw back and forth but it does bring

00:07:07.460 me to my my prescription and and this goes with thanks to Reed in our coven who sent us this song

00:07:17.540 recently. And I've been thinking about it since. It's a collaboration between Alison Russell and

00:07:28.120 Brandi Carlile. And the song is We Are Not Alone. Actually, it's You're Not Alone. But Alison

00:07:35.600 Russell wrote this piece. This is her writing. These aren't the lyrics to the song. This is her

00:07:42.180 kind of explaining the song she wrote we are not alone we are not what we have lost we are more

00:07:49.440 than the sum of our scars we are the dust of the stars the bones of the earth the breath of the

00:07:54.700 void the expanse of our imaginations the arc of art the love in our hearts we lift each other up

00:08:00.540 we are the beloved community every time we choose to be our circle is battered and bloody but still

00:08:07.440 whole. None above, none alone. None above, none below. Our one human family, equal under the

00:08:15.400 listening sky. I believe what Alice Walker wrote, we are the ones we have been waiting for.

00:08:21.640 Every child deserves to be loved and protected. Our families with LGBTQIA plus parents and kids

00:08:28.420 are just as precious. No one should be forced into the sacred role of parenthood against their will.

00:08:33.780 human rights are worth fighting for we've come a long way but we must go farther still

00:08:39.740 she writes i'm grateful to my chosen family brandy for singing you're not along with me

00:08:45.080 for inspiring for elevating for leading we will not be turned back love and revolution

00:08:50.980 hey my little evening star

00:08:55.540 how bright you are

00:09:00.580 anywhere you go you're not alone and I just want to remember that we're not alone I want to remember

00:09:14.880 that you're all out there and I want to feel that I'm not alone inside my body too you know

00:09:20.340 researching that lichen piece I was so interested to learn that I've thought about you know the

00:09:26.880 microbiome and the way that that is sort of a core aspect of health, that this community of

00:09:33.300 bacteria that lives inside of us is so core to how we are processing the world. But that at the

00:09:40.740 tiny, tiny heart of the microbiome is the mycobiome. 1% of the microbiome is mycobiome,

00:09:48.060 is fungi. But it plays this huge role. It's like the symphony conductor. It's teaching all the

00:09:54.480 other parts how to use nutrients it taught us how to you know break down vegetables and grains and

00:10:01.520 and so really really at your core you're not alone truly in your heart of hearts you're not alone

00:10:08.240 in your in your gut instinct you are not alone you know you are you are kin with all of these beings

00:10:14.200 and you're kin with the you know the 10,000 ancestors that are around you that came before

00:10:22.420 you so and you're and you're buddies with the covenant you know I know so many of us come to

00:10:29.580 the circle um so many people seem to come and find the work that we're doing because they really feel

00:10:36.320 like solitary like lonely isolated it can be really isolating to be like I'm I'm not really

00:10:44.760 part of an organized religion that doesn't feel comfortable to me I want to like worship trees

00:10:51.260 and nature and the wind, but also I'm in awe of the sciences and believe in listening to,

00:10:59.220 you know, the layers of peer review and work. And I don't, I also don't idolize them. I think

00:11:05.100 they can be flawed, but I want to work through things in that way. You know, I want to be

00:11:09.500 anti-racist and non-extractive in my practices. I want to be a radical feminist, but I want to be

00:11:15.200 trans-inclusive, putting people at the very heart of the circles of safety that I make. Like, where 0.97

00:11:20.600 is that circle? Why is this so complicated? Why do I feel alone in these complicated ideas? So

00:11:26.360 I don't know. If you feel like that, I hope that the image I want to give you is the image I can

00:11:31.960 see out of my lake, which is rain gently falling on my lake and all of these circles of circles

00:11:37.140 of circles expanding and touching each other. You are not alone. And on the subject of worshipping

00:11:44.680 trees. I want to tell a story today about hope as an action item, not as something that

00:11:55.340 we long for, but as something that we can create, you know, not something that we have

00:12:01.760 to find, but something that we make in our world, in our bodies too. I, and also speaking

00:12:14.640 of bodies and what they do. I was the primary caregiver for my father. For almost 10 years,

00:12:23.280 he lived with me. And over the course of those 10 years, I watched his mind and his body degenerate

00:12:30.500 to the point where it didn't function at all. And he died. He died in my house, which was

00:12:38.200 terrifying. And I, of course, grieved, but the grief was sort of tempered with a relief. It was

00:12:46.420 extremely difficult, an extremely difficult task to care for him. And so again, despite the fact

00:12:56.820 that I was grieving, I also had a profound sense of relief and a new sense of freedom. It was very

00:13:05.040 difficult to travel. It was difficult to even go out for a few hours at a certain point. And

00:13:09.320 because he couldn't be, he couldn't be left alone. So he died in 2019. And then like,

00:13:18.940 eight months later, COVID hit, and I immediately lost that freedom that I had been

00:13:25.840 pining for, for almost a decade. And I was just like frozen in this state of fear and despair

00:13:40.820 and the timing of it, you know, like I really, I really couldn't, I couldn't believe that I had,

00:13:48.800 i had just acquired this freedom and it had already been taken away from me um so

00:13:56.480 in that spirit in 2020 i decided to plant some plum trees um firstly because i feel like planting

00:14:08.060 trees is like such an incredible act of hope and resilience and resistance but i also was thinking

00:14:17.980 about like because we didn't know you know back in the in the early months of 2020 we didn't know

00:14:24.380 about food supplies you know people were buying all of the flour off the shelves and for some

00:14:30.180 reason all the toilet paper which I still haven't quite figured out but my point is I was thinking

00:14:35.880 about trying to snatch some hope out of the world and also possibly in the years to come having a

00:14:44.860 food source in my yard. And so I planted these plum trees, three of them, and they were literally

00:14:52.720 just like these spindly little twigs with some roots on the bottom. You wouldn't have any idea

00:15:00.280 that they could possibly turn into trees how they were when I first got them, these tiny, tiny

00:15:05.860 little rooted saplings and I planted them and all the time every time I'm in my yard I walk around

00:15:14.840 them I talk to them sometimes I played music for them I watered them and this year spring 2024

00:15:26.320 one of my plum trees finally flowered for the very first time and so this spindly little

00:15:36.620 stick monster is now covered in these tiny white blossoms that are opening into the sun 0.54

00:15:44.920 and they are so fucking beautiful and I literally when I first saw them I wept 0.90

00:15:53.500 you know it's been four years of me tending to these little stick monsters and just hoping and 0.96

00:16:02.000 honestly fearing fearing like like a parent does like what if they don't grow up right what if what 0.90

00:16:09.720 if I made a mistake what if I didn't tend their soil correctly what if what if what if and this

00:16:17.620 year I was given such a great prize I guess an affirmation is probably a better word that

00:16:27.000 if you put your hope into something and not just your hope but your effort and your magic

00:16:34.320 and your work that you will be oftentimes rewarded with a real fundamental piece of

00:16:45.340 evidence that nature continues the cycle goes the the wheel turns and flowers bloom you know again

00:16:56.780 you're talking about the state of the world it's all we talk about the state of the world and yet

00:17:02.360 in springtime my irises are coming up like gangbusters my plum tree is blooming and the

00:17:11.820 flowers return and the flowers return and the flowers return. And we can do that too. We can

00:17:21.220 plant flowers or we can be flowers where we spring up out of whatever dormancy we're under,

00:17:29.360 whatever fear is weighing us down. We can spring up out of that and bloom. I personally believe

00:17:36.820 that all flowers are sacred, all plants in general, but especially flowers. You know,

00:17:44.340 human beings have used flowers as symbols forever. They found evidence of pollen in a Neanderthal 0.95

00:17:54.100 grave. So literally, as long as there have been people, we have been using flowers to express

00:18:00.780 our emotions for each other, whether it's love or gratitude or congratulations or sympathy.

00:18:06.820 We express that with flowers, and we literally always have.

00:18:12.560 So y'all know I like to bring Indigenous music during the month of May,

00:18:17.280 support our reparations fundraiser.

00:18:19.820 So I brought a song called Sacred Flowers by Blue Mountain Tribe.

00:18:26.020 Now, they are a band of Indigenous people out of California,

00:18:31.260 and they say their music is all about raising awareness

00:18:36.240 helping others and making the world a better place this song sacred flowers specifically

00:18:43.260 is dedicated to all the missing and murdered indigenous women and girls across north america

00:18:50.360 and the the metaphor is that these these missing and murdered indigenous women and girls are the

00:19:00.060 sacred flowers, that the flowers have been stolen from the garden. And so I would love for you to

00:19:08.120 watch the video. The video is like a collage of dedications to specific women. And while you're

00:19:18.340 listening to it, while you're making your donation of $10 or more to your local Indigenous

00:19:24.740 support org i want to i want you to think about like the prescription is to think about 0.97

00:19:31.180 fucking flowers to think about how we are flowers and we can as long as we are rooted 0.96

00:19:38.780 we can bloom as long as we are rooted and whether that's rooted in your community 0.99

00:19:47.420 rooted in your ethics, rooted in your sense of right and wrong, rooted in your love for the

00:19:55.240 universe, then we have the opportunity to bloom. But just like humans, flowers need rain and sun.

00:20:14.200 so again the prescription is you know tend to yourself as if you were a flower

00:20:22.120 and be amazed by the beauty of the world as if the whole world was flowers and check out blue

00:20:32.260 mountain tribe and join our reparations fundraiser those are my prescriptions this week and remember 0.99

00:20:39.760 you're not alone and blessed fucking be and blessed fucking be 0.97

00:20:44.800 if you want to support the missing witches project join the coven find out how at 0.98

00:21:14.500 missingwitches.com

Missing Witches - May 13, 2024

MW Rx. 50 - You Are Not Alone

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