00:01:58.920lead me okay i sort of forget how to do it but we'll figure it out i like that though welcome0.67
00:02:06.480listeners welcome friends welcome witches welcome ghosts welcome old years and new years
00:02:16.900teetering on the edge in between of everything that has been and is about to be
00:02:23.140thank you for being with us in this moment with the missing witches podcast in the circle of the
00:02:31.660coven and with the visionary woman tarot creator artist christine gorman someone who described her
00:02:46.740mind like a sunroof the messages come in and she accepted the name visionary woman accepted her
00:02:57.320role as visionary and accepted that the art came and the paintings came and then shared them with
00:03:03.700us I have her beautiful deck with me here and we thought what a beautiful way to be together0.55
00:03:10.820as we leave this fucking year behind us yes yes yes thank you for that introduction0.94
00:03:17.320how are you who are you who have you been this year hmm so I have been grieving this year0.94
00:03:25.560birthing my deck which launched in august creating another illustrated another deck
00:03:35.120trying to stabilize myself i've been triumphantly creative and satisfied with my creative work
00:03:49.160and trying to pay the rent as I do this and having this uncertainty grow so big
00:03:59.940that faith in the present moment and the I Ching helps so it's like triumphant and awful0.91
00:04:08.720all at the same time and it's really the juxtaposition is extraordinary and I feel1.00
00:04:18.380that as long as I'm doing something creative then I can get through it I have tears in my eyes the
00:04:23.520way you describe that I feel that so so real holding on to the burning clarity of the disaster
00:04:33.060of the heartbreak and the way that it lets work come and the joyful satisfying work that comes
00:04:41.020in that moment oh yeah and that juxtaposition is such a huge teacher you know it's quick learning
00:04:50.720and sometimes I can be satisfied and get myself through and then it isn't until something
00:04:59.140triumphant happens where I actually break down yes it's not always okay to just tough it through
00:05:07.280even though the only way is through you got to feel all the feels it's usually the triumphant
00:05:12.000thing where i turn around and i look at my cat and i'm like elizabeth alfredo look i made a tarot
00:05:16.560deck it was just published you know because as much as my husband was there for 25 years
00:05:21.860and through all of these experiences he wasn't there when it came out you know but i mean he
00:05:30.820was there. The fact is that he had purchased a pile of oil paint 30 years ago, like a pile of
00:05:40.180oil paint. And that is what I used throughout the deck, throughout this next deck, through all my
00:05:47.280paintings. So before I knew him, he was providing my supplies. He was building this moment with you
00:05:56.320even before. That's so beautiful. The deck is so beautiful. It feels so familiar. I'm still getting
00:06:06.740to know the deck. I'm still sort of shuffling it and warming it up and smooshing around. It's
00:06:13.200gold edged. Every single one is a painting. And by familiar, I mean, I look at them and I feel
00:06:19.260like I know them. Are they all people that you know? No, there's only one portrait. And that's
00:06:26.160Rachel Pollard. That's Rachel. That's the only portrait. Yeah. I mean, my King of Pentacles,
00:06:31.060James Baldwin kept on coming up. And I was like, no, I'm not doing another portrait of anybody.
00:06:36.620He kept on coming up. So it's not really a portrait, but you can feel his essence in there.
00:06:42.920What better King of Pentacles can you think of than James Baldwin? So I was like, okay, fine.
00:06:47.940I'll allow it. But like a half portrait, you know. And so the other ones came out of the wood?
00:06:52.900yeah they came out of the wood my heart my guts my sunroof yep all of that you remind me right now
00:06:59.400of temperance card because she has this hair or like i should say even say they like i i really0.96
00:07:05.880don't attribute gender to a lot of my people in my deck but they have this pink hair just like
00:07:13.620your hat oh i look at it and i'm like that's totally you man i could use a little temperance
00:07:20.000this good balance and temperance has these malachite cups where it's like you don't need
00:07:28.400anything else from anywhere else and that healing of the malachite that's what it's all about1.00
00:07:34.660who do you think you're going to be next year oh one triumphant bitch man fuck yeah0.99
00:07:41.920i am like this is a whole new world i am just unstoppable i feel like a lot more traveling0.99
00:07:50.660you know even just like planning the traveling so that feels like europe that feels like i'm
00:07:55.600just going other places and you know i'm not looking for partnerships but i might do like0.92
00:08:01.120a hussy tour of europe just to fuck around a little bit yes i figured that i was gonna do
00:08:08.320that at some point in my life so i guess that's what i might be doing did you always have an open0.98
00:08:15.020sunroof and if you want to explain more about that oh sure yeah so whether it's undiagnosed
00:08:22.140add or adhd or just being a big ass leo creative person like i say i have a phd in dysfunction0.99
00:08:31.640i've been around the park you know the circumstances are so fucked up and and and look0.98
00:08:38.380you know it's like the lotus comes from the mud right this is how it goes i'm also asking about0.93
00:08:45.580the visionary word right like i'm also asking about that aspect because you are so obviously
00:08:52.160someone who the sunroof isn't just saying what you think it's also seems to me like things are
00:08:59.460coming to you like oh yeah and how do you distinguish or do you i was running my mouth
00:09:05.320as a child saying all the inappropriate things that people didn't want to tell other people
00:09:10.980i was called morticia in high school now i'm reading people when they're asking me to
00:09:18.980so i see clients at the market and they're like their eyes get bigger i'm like look man i'm here
00:09:26.200for the vegetables. I'm not reading you right now. That's not how it works. So I have had that
00:09:31.320intentional commitment to say, hey, that's not on unless I'm reading. But I do get visions when
00:09:38.320I'm sleeping. I see things when I space out. I try not to read people and move around the world
00:09:44.700like that because it's just exhausting. So I really try to keep it in a boundary that's
00:09:50.900comfortable for me. I think for many people in our circle, in our coven, we're so porous. That's
00:09:58.340why we went to the edges of things, you know? Yeah. And that is why you have to be so fierce
00:10:04.080with your boundary. As you're coming to awareness in your younger years, everybody has their own
00:10:11.860special dysfunction from whatever family situation you come with. As you work that out,
00:10:17.160self-protection is often self-destructive and so it's like once you turn that and flip that over
00:10:25.700then you realize that you can protect yourself and how vital it is for your personal ecosystem
00:10:32.560to thrive and to even consider that you can thrive if you are porous you have to
00:10:40.920kind of figure out what radio station that is what voice that is and turn the ones that are
00:10:49.360important up and turn the other ones down I have made this commitment to whatever comes in
00:10:55.980comes out of my mouth too like I'm not I'm not filtering these things
00:11:02.960but I start when I pick up the cards and I stop when I put them down
00:11:09.500because these are my gifts and it's like I love to help and contribute but there has to be consent
00:11:20.460you know I did a radio show for a while an FM radio show people would call in from all over
00:11:28.060the world you know this is like even by accident they would call in and so I'd be like well you're
00:11:33.820life on the air would you like a tarot reading you know it's the strangest thing so even though
00:11:39.680they might have accidentally called it was like I asked that question would you like a reading
00:11:43.960because it's sometimes inappropriate for me to help unless asked and that's a hard lesson to learn
00:11:50.920that it's inappropriate for you to go off of your centeredness to assist somebody
00:11:57.500because everybody has their stuff but you know it happens and then we go okay I got it I got
00:12:05.380the lesson I Ching is a really good reminder and will help you know your ego be small0.95
00:12:15.180because I think that's usually the fucker in anything is the doubt the ego that kind of thing
00:12:22.520The I Ching got me through a lot of the times in my life where I felt the most out of control and got that message over and over again.0.97
00:12:31.380Your control is, in fact, limited.0.97
00:12:33.300You're going to have to move through this.0.98
00:12:34.940Well, that's what I call the fuckery.0.98
00:12:36.440And that's like kind of my tagline.0.99