Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - Tryptophan： The Pride of the 90s

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00:00:18.280 Two best friends, both alike in dignity.

00:00:20.900 Nurturing phantoms and courting the muse. 1.00

00:00:23.200 The hag divines when something must die. 1.00

00:00:25.520 Yes, that was poog. 0.99

00:00:26.620 But this is huge. 1.00

00:00:28.200 The ego loves to seek.

00:00:29.560 but never to find it was berlant and novak the whole time i'm fresh off a nap okay by the way

00:00:38.220 i'm fresh off i'm a nap i just made it an emergency miniature ice cream sundae this is old poog i feel

00:00:44.740 the energy in me by the way here's what's huge and this is the life lesson yeah i have a small

00:00:50.000 cold you can hear it my voice yes i had a huge realization today being under the weather i i

00:00:55.940 tend to you know me i if i'm sick something i live in fear of sick i live in i live in fear

00:01:00.920 of the immune system failing or whatever yeah i look at the counter today i go oh i've kind of

00:01:05.960 had a cold for seven days never got serious never got bad had to spend a day fully infirmed you know

00:01:10.820 had to cancel the whole day had to wipe a poog away had to yeah and something happened today i 0.94

00:01:15.420 go i can still get through this is what life is oh my god or it was more just like grow up it was 0.99

00:01:22.320 more like grow up bitch like by the way i'm a firm believer if you're sick you have to stay home 0.98

00:01:25.880 don't infect people whatever of course right of course but but i'm not personal responsibilities 0.99

00:01:31.720 i'm not blowing my nose i'm not hacking this is seven days like yeah again not a doctor but but

00:01:37.300 the point is i have things talk about i went to air one for the first time today in a long time

00:01:41.260 my membership had lapsed that had expired i was humiliated at the checkout line interesting i got

00:01:46.360 an email saying it's going to expire soon and i i simply could not handle dealing with another yet

00:01:52.720 another account i just like i guess it's going to expire next time i go there they say you're

00:01:56.520 not a member and then i'll go i know i guess i'll do it then i haven't been there by the way it's

00:02:00.000 two hundred dollars eight months see that's the thing i used to go i used to live we all know i

00:02:04.860 used to live half a block away i used to go two times a day sometimes okay but today something

00:02:09.720 happened i went i was in the vitamin aisle i wish i had gotten his name this wonderful man

00:02:14.040 it's a studio city air one not the one that i usually go to studio city air one something's

00:02:18.700 going on there you know i know it yeah yeah of course there was this man in the i wish i had

00:02:23.200 gotten his name because i started talking to him about vitamins because i have a lot to say about

00:02:26.380 vitamins today and supplements and i was talking to him for a little while he i'm gonna get into

00:02:33.240 briefly by the way some of the things if you want the brand name guess what i'm so sorry to tell you

00:02:36.980 you're gonna have to you're gonna have to which is why be brief act for launching product corner

00:02:42.000 everyone if you want to know the exact products that we're talking about i'm so sorry to do this

00:02:46.680 but we're gonna have to hide it behind the five dollar paywall because we have to make a living

00:02:50.480 folks never forget you're supporting us you're supporting the show okay listen i said to him

00:02:56.520 after we had this lengthy conversation about all this he's pointing me to products i'm buying wow

00:03:01.200 i'll just say this i was going towards a because i'm hearing all about multivitams you need a

00:03:05.480 methylated multivitamin all this stuff hardly know what it means i go with a little information as

00:03:09.780 usual I go for this thorn one $70 right yeah he goes next there oh yeah thorn god bless thorn

00:03:16.620 and god protect thorn but god protects symbiotica please symbiotica send product I've been paying

00:03:22.320 out of pocket now okay so I say to him yeah he says to me he goes yeah thorn's great he goes

00:03:27.780 I prefer this one hands me a $30 one price slashed in half needless to say I went with

00:03:33.420 the cheaper option and at the end of our interaction I said thank you so much for

00:03:38.340 sharing your knowledge and he looked really moved and he said thank you so much for saying that

00:03:42.760 oh my god and that's it but for okay i mean there's something i'm looking at an expired

00:03:48.740 spaghetti squash how many times have i looked up online expired spaghetti squash spaghetti squash

00:03:54.540 bad when they say two weeks they're not expired no two weeks do they mean cooked and halved and

00:04:01.360 rotting in your fridge maybe no this is a whole one uncooked it's a it's a gourd it looks fine

00:04:07.320 they live as like you know they live among us no and they live as decor for like two years on

00:04:14.020 someone's porch so like okay totally i i really think they're beyond expiration unless like they

00:04:19.600 get poked with a with a pin no no and by the way the color by the way you know it looks great

00:04:24.320 entire one of those in an instant pot by the way i and i still haven't done it but i am going to

00:04:28.240 make the full transition to an instant pot lifestyle i've got some i got some chinese

00:04:31.780 herbs today some tablets from my acupuncturist she stuck a needle in me today it was the most

00:04:36.440 painful needle i've ever had the way you get your i almost screamed i almost i almost screamed

00:04:41.600 and went ah and she went yeah that's immunity i think it's fun to have a whole body deodorant

00:04:53.220 something that you could just swipe across your foot or your thigh or your back of your knee

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00:06:03.020 okay so i'll say this last few we all know i talk about this blessed with the miracle of sleep i 0.99

00:06:15.360 sleep well doll's eyes flutter away i got fucked in the center of my ass this week by not being 0.99

00:06:23.620 able to sleep even though it's interesting if it were in the center that would be the least painful 1.00

00:06:27.540 actually right you're right you pray for if it was nothing but it was nothing but net

00:06:33.380 yeah yeah yeah no so i couldn't resist i couldn't resist but spiritually obviously but exactly

00:06:41.600 exactly what you meant sleep so and you know how this goes we've all been there let's say you're

00:06:47.760 under the weather you're working you wake up at 3 a.m you go but i have to sleep if i don't sleep

00:06:51.920 i'm fine you know and then you're in hell right panic yeah so this happened to me twice in a row 0.98

00:06:56.140 and it fucked with me i was you know i felt like i was over the cold i felt good then the next day 0.98

00:07:02.560 i had a long work day slept like shit woke up i go cool well it's so i believe accept the cold 0.99

00:07:08.660 is your life and then be pleasantly surprised when it leaves yeah if you're checking i think 0.99

00:07:14.360 that's great advice pot that is the cold yeah totally it's it it shall not i think that's why

00:07:19.340 i feel relief today because i went i'm just pushing through and again i want to be clear

00:07:25.280 do not push through in the early stages of sickness and if you're ill if you're coughing

00:07:29.200 if you're sneezing if you're snot yeah because nothing's more upsetting you're talking about

00:07:33.200 trying to push through in that way a conversation between you and yourself a lingering which you go

00:07:38.080 would i rather do this thing right now that it's like yes i have the right not to to myself

00:07:44.200 i have the right not to i need to rest it's like yeah and also maybe you have the right to push

00:07:49.940 through and do the thing that you actually there was a thing in a writing book I think it was

00:07:55.820 Vicki King's how to write a screenplay in 21 days I think it was that I forget it might have been

00:08:02.600 but it had this thing about like something about one time having this intense stomach upset on the

00:08:09.860 toilet you know non-stop kind of thing and it was like it was like she was on a writing deadline

00:08:14.360 lucky girl yeah i know she was on a a uh like a deadline or something we were writing and it was

00:08:22.800 like she's horribly sick and it sort of came down to like the deadline's the deadline like it just

00:08:29.360 wasn't it wasn't changing yeah right and she didn't want it to change even i mean i'm putting

00:08:34.100 a lot to this i have no clue what the actual story was okay but but but i know that it had 0.99

00:08:39.340 to do with this kind of fuck it you know i'm writing on the toilet kind of thing i'm fuck it 0.98

00:08:44.880 like you know like yeah laptop on the knees like here we go push through because it's sort of 1.00

00:08:49.700 it's not about like having a conversation with the gods about what you know you know wait hold

00:08:56.420 on one second one second chris um would you mind turning off the heat love that no no because by

00:09:06.720 the way you cannot wait for the perfect conditions right like that's the thing that keeps people

00:09:10.440 frozen oh god and you got to keep going but but okay so i want to talk about continuing yeah

00:09:16.800 accepting that the cold will never leave no and then it lifts no because what you said

00:09:19.520 because also i remember what happened is i had we might all remember i had a mild flu over

00:09:24.080 christmas but ruined christmas i couldn't go home to see my parents you know i couldn't and it was

00:09:28.080 that mild symptoms but that lasted for like two weeks i just didn't feel myself and then it was

00:09:32.680 like one day I was driving and I was like oh my god I'm back and it was like and then you kiss

00:09:37.900 the ground you kiss the earth upon which you stand because you're like I'm back

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00:11:13.040 Well, by the way, I just got my insurance yet again denied my migraine medication. I'm going 0.89

00:11:20.140 in harder this time because again i call you call them begging them you get on my doctor sent a 1.00

00:11:25.160 letter of medical necessity for my migraine injection pa they go how about this no bitch 0.99

00:11:29.440 yeah all of it twice whatever but then i listen i'm traveling internationally yeah we both are 0.98

00:11:36.700 separately fascinating though traveling internationally for a month so i don't know

00:11:41.100 i don't know when you're leaving i don't know when i'm leaving well i'm now leaving tuesday i'm

00:11:44.300 leaving very shortly and i need a medication so i'm gonna have to just bite the bullet and pay

00:11:48.980 for it because it's like i can't there's actually relief forward to get the migraines actually

00:11:53.040 relief when you go yes okay i'm paying so i'm not going to pay twice as you would say all rim

00:11:58.540 on this medication price pure rim but yeah here it goes yep you know like i have to believe the

00:12:04.820 medicine will work even more because of the sacrifice i've made um okay so but but sleep

00:12:10.180 yes so my sleep has been disturbed and then by the way i realized because i was awake at the

00:12:14.780 night going what could this be and i go well i'm anxious because i'm very suddenly traveling

00:12:18.600 i'm gonna be you know um work like and then of course i realized oh it's because i'm drinking

00:12:27.800 so much more caffeine than i ordinarily do like i couldn't sleep and that day i had an espresso

00:12:32.720 double espresso obviously why even say double espresso it's it's a double espresso if you're

00:12:37.000 having espresso yeah yeah i had an espresso drink i had an entire can of celsius and i had a matcha

00:12:42.720 latte celsius is rare enough for you that you text me to tell me you're drinking it right

00:12:47.280 like you got when you're like if i drink a full can no it's like a it's a signal of wounding like

00:12:52.900 it's like um it's proof you know it's like you're like you're like jacqueline you better call me

00:12:57.180 right back now i'm drinking a celsius you know like you know like no times are serious you know

00:13:03.280 no it's serious i haven't had one in a week two weeks oh wow that's amazing i have another

00:13:10.480 warming drink that i will say for product corner that we're both enjoying at night 0.97

00:13:14.160 and if that's not an ad i don't know what the fuck i can't wait to talk about it 0.76

00:13:17.040 yeah so i tried on the word washington what so i was trying to write down whatever i wanted to 0.59

00:13:22.900 just say to remember to do later and i wrote down washington how interesting and i'm trying to write

00:13:28.600 down oh warming drink i think got me there but i was trying to write down half calf do you think

00:13:34.260 do you think george washington was trying to come through well you know what's funny the other night

00:13:38.560 probably the other night and this isn't even the sleepless nights a couple weeks ago yeah

00:13:43.340 my partner and i woke up in the night we started laughing joking which is what happens sometimes

00:13:47.640 um oh wait no that's not what happened that's just me bragging wait it's another time no but

00:13:53.480 we woke up in the night something some sound something like have a sleep and they were like

00:13:58.340 oh i just had this dream that i was like swimming with you know a dog or something and i have no

00:14:03.660 memory of this but they said that i just went hillary clinton no and then yeah that was it

00:14:09.700 okay but wait so you're always dreaming about them hillary the clintons on really my mouth is dry

00:14:17.440 yeah on a not that distant episode recently you spoke of bill bill yeah oh that's right that's

00:14:24.380 right um well the thing that i never talk about but if you're not going to talk about in your

00:14:32.000 podcast where the hell are you going to talk about it was 2016 when i had a dream that i was donald

00:14:36.900 trump and in my dream i had an orgasm in my sleep and that is really interesting if you couldn't

00:14:43.900 okay so like a career based on that i don't know what you could wait but if you're about to move 0.66

00:14:48.640 off of sleep no no no i haven't even started to sleep okay so so but then i realized oh my god

00:14:53.880 i've done too much caffeine okay this should help i'm not gonna have all the caffeine but last night

00:14:59.900 i go i'm gonna have a little fun i'm taking nyquil because i was you know feeling a little

00:15:04.560 into the weather i go i started to feel the nyquil take hold and i took it too early my 0.98

00:15:10.300 partner was like you can't go to bed earlier than 9 30 because you're gonna fuck up you know you'll

00:15:14.260 wake up i'm like okay okay yeah so i'll stay awake till 9 30 felt it wash over me like got up to go 0.95

00:15:19.760 to the bathroom like and i was like on the drug and i i mean it was oh and honey i slept like milk

00:15:27.620 milk was washed over me but then i have to say

00:15:31.340 is it you slept as easily as milk rests in the bottom bowl well i slept for 11 hours

00:15:37.660 which is pretty unbelievable when you when you say that when you get the math that yeah and

00:15:45.340 but i did i feel grogginess here's where i go and did i feel it but then i went to acupuncture

00:15:52.940 and it's deeply relaxing and then i'm in the and then i'm in the aisles of erwan and this

00:15:56.760 in this guy who i ended up buying and again product corner i'll reveal what the product is

00:16:00.940 but i ended up spending 50 bones on a magnesium body rub lotion i went in recommend that or yes

00:16:07.900 so just okay i'll tell you exactly what happened i went in asking topical magnesium has been

00:16:13.580 floating around so i i literally said i literally i said to him do you have the symbiotica magnesium

00:16:19.380 spray because i had this dream of spraying it on the bottom of my feet sleeping like an angel for

00:16:23.580 the rest of my life. And he said, we don't have that, but we have some other products we might

00:16:27.560 be interested in. He pulls down this off the shelves and he goes, it's a lotion. Okay. He's

00:16:33.400 like, and by the way, it's an air one. You're looking at it. It's like safer, you know,

00:16:36.680 pregnancy postpartum. So, you know, it's pure. And he's like, this is really popular. He goes,

00:16:41.640 it's so popular. In fact, that we keep it in the back and that people have to kind of ask for it

00:16:45.600 by name because it flies off the shelf so quickly. I don't really understand, but there was a mystique

00:16:48.940 there with the product being in the back. I go, I'll buy it. He brings it out. Probably there

00:16:53.080 are people who get pissed that it keeps flying off the shelf and they come in and they go i come

00:16:56.860 here to buy this and it's gone and they're like so yeah we'll start withholding it in the back

00:17:01.000 like oh for the special yeah for the special request i wonder yeah so that is good salesmanship 1.00

00:17:06.560 is that by the way he goes to the back what is it what is that little bitch like you need to hear 1.00

00:17:11.060 it in air one that's what i need to hear something off on the shelves because you look around you go 1.00

00:17:14.460 i thought this was an elite store and yet there's other people in here okay what am i just one of

00:17:19.200 one of the customers who just grabs things off the shelf there's a new layer he disappears into

00:17:24.160 the back comes back with this so if you want to know what it is cuff up the five bucks love you

00:17:28.880 so much back the concept of the back and how well we ever like something at a shoe store oh yeah

00:17:33.480 i've always visualized a certain back at the nordstrom's where i grew up like in the shoe

00:17:39.180 department yeah when they spear it away to the to the back i have a picture in my mind of what

00:17:44.120 it's like back there with no information right i've never been back yeah yeah yeah isn't that

00:17:48.120 weird just like i picture it like ikea right like the it's not that big no like a miniature i mean

00:17:54.120 no but i mean the ceiling's not that high right no no of course yeah picture a dark row of shoes

00:17:58.400 i don't think it might not be all it's cracked up to be so okay so the other thing i got

00:18:04.240 and by the way a friend of mine i randomly ran into a friend at acupuncture can you imagine this

00:18:09.940 and she goes tell me what you got to air on this is a packet 3.99 a pop so this is not cheap folks

00:18:16.960 but the guy goes this is really good as a non-melatonin because i was like i don't want

00:18:21.040 this is a test it's a non-melatonin sleep aid no sweetheart they sell these as individuals wait

00:18:26.980 is that the drink or the thing that goes on your body sorry this is a separate product this is a

00:18:30.300 drink okay but he goes this is he goes i really think you're gonna like this this is this stuff's

00:18:35.120 pretty crazy it really helps with sleep and again no melatonin i want to stress because i don't want

00:18:39.300 melatonin yeah i noticed you said that to me you go with no melatonin i'll take melatonin very

00:18:43.580 rarely twice a year because what is there an idea that if you take it it will just don't really want

00:18:49.060 to disturb the not the body's natural ability to produce and repress melatonin i mean i think

00:18:53.640 you're traveling you know there's certain situations you're on a crazy flight sure 0.99

00:18:57.680 but this stuff melatonin free and then my friend saw it and she went that shit really works like 0.99

00:19:02.680 it's crazy listen to it yeah i'll tell you what's in it you can't read it wait wait well there's 0.97

00:19:10.340 some tart cherry juice in it probably to make it taste delicious taurine magnesium citrate

00:19:15.380 naturally tryptophan 35 milligrams spermidine the prime not on my watch yeah pride of the 90s 0.82

00:19:24.680 l-glycine freaking vitamin d fucking b6 freaking panophenic acid i don't know and you put that in 0.88

00:19:35.380 going in my mouth right in the mouth oh really i'm gonna take it tonight in the mouth and did 0.98

00:19:41.860 they is that an option i know oh yeah no it's like a little it's like one of those things okay

00:19:47.220 it looks like humongous somehow oh no it's small look at the palm right it's not a mix it's not a

00:19:51.680 mix no it's liquid that you just throw it in there um i'll give you one product to the masses that i

00:19:57.740 got because liquid i'm sorry perfect aminos you'll be proud of me i've been doing perfect aminos

00:20:03.040 and i noticed today perfect aminos electrolyte yeah so i got that the passion fruit i'm into it

00:20:09.040 have you had it um i think i've i'm trying to think if i've actually gotten their electrolyte

00:20:14.040 i have it i think but for some reason i went back to separating the two yeah but um i can't believe

00:20:22.540 to say that i've been enjoying the mocha flavor i've been putting it in coffee whoa yeah i'll

00:20:28.720 but god there's actually a so much let me just make a note i'm already scared oh i'll be able

00:20:34.560 to get perfect aminos in london like no but it's too late for me i've helped for you there because

00:20:39.820 really oh no but it might be it might be a little some have you had trouble sometimes traveling with

00:20:44.420 powder where they like say like what's that i have in checked no no not in check you can put

00:20:49.960 a baby in checked i know they encourage it now yeah oh i i also feel relief because i went i'm

00:20:56.620 doing a big checked bag and i'm checking another carry-on and i want to hear about it checking

00:21:00.700 another carry-on you're funny you know what i mean you're still letting myself identified well

00:21:05.920 yes classic i didn't even okay treating yourself to you know but checking another carry-on this is

00:21:12.280 like you take like half a xanax or something okay it's like if it's another checked bag right

00:21:17.460 it doesn't matter that it's the carry-on size but for you that somehow makes it like like you're

00:21:24.160 Like, it's less extravagant somehow.

00:21:26.580 Wait, that's so funny.

00:21:27.660 And I'm allowing myself one extra carry-on time.

00:21:29.120 You're right.

00:21:29.480 I should just let myself have two big checked bags.

00:21:32.200 Yeah.

00:21:32.500 By the way, I'm doing that. 1.00

00:21:34.520 Fuck, who cares? 1.00

00:21:36.380 Oh, well, guess what? 1.00

00:21:37.560 Do you already have your lodgings?

00:21:39.320 You would, wouldn't you?

00:21:40.260 No, it's a job.

00:21:41.820 They're booking it for me.

00:21:42.600 It's out of my hands.

00:21:43.080 Oh, okay.

00:21:43.840 I was actively trying to, you know, hunt for opportunities for us.

00:21:46.820 But by the way, it's the stress because a lot of the hotels, you know, when you're leaving,

00:21:52.300 you're like, okay, I'm going next week.

00:21:53.600 They're booked.

00:21:54.160 they're booked to the gills actually i have a hotel for you that's affordable a f f o r d a b l e

00:22:04.780 h o t e l affordable hotel i'm really and i'm really hoping you'll stay there and i'll stay

00:22:13.600 there y e d t h a t enjoyed that yes okay i wanted you to have the opportunity to i'm just

00:22:24.180 texting it to you for later it was like i was watching a like a movie a mystery and i was able

00:22:29.760 to follow along yeah i was quick enough that i could be like you're solving it in real time

00:22:34.580 yeah do you feel like a god when you know it's happening in a movie

00:22:37.980 yeah well by the way i guess following the plot i guess the x of the ending of conclave how early

00:22:44.860 like like kind of okay quite late in the game obviously right right enter so and so you go um

00:22:56.520 you know no no no it had nothing to do with the person in question like it was truly like i'm like 0.78

00:23:02.000 how is i gonna wrap this up and i was like it's gonna be this and then it fucking what would make 0.73

00:23:06.080 this okay is conclave one thing yeah okay wait what do you mean is conclave a peacock movie 0.87

00:23:14.240 is it on the channel didn't know they made films i'm gonna look this up right now wait no but do

00:23:21.200 you mean was it in theaters because that's where no no no it wasn't it wasn't it was we saw conclave

00:23:26.780 in theaters yeah me and okay it's on members conclave uh that's you thought it was a wikipedia

00:23:35.600 no all i'll say is this did you like i did okay there's one moment that i guess you could argue 0.57

00:23:42.980 is a sound that caused lol by me shit i don't remember 20 million dollar budget okay box office 0.89

00:23:52.820 okay box office 98 mil okay keep going let's go okay yeah nespresso machine 0.97

00:24:01.040 it's like a tense conversation with him and and tucci or something right yeah and he's making

00:24:12.400 a nespresso during it unbelievable and in sound of the nespresso the sudden attention drawn to

00:24:19.680 the mechanical the bergsonian comedic and modern modern life yes exactly exactly well i'm here to

00:24:26.240 say and i don't say this every year it was a great year for movies folks it was a great year for

00:24:31.560 cinema i want to say right here my movie of the year without any doubt is the brutalist 0.90

00:24:39.780 fuck has someone seen it jacqueline remember my joke about a brutalist couple living nearby you 0.99

00:24:46.220 wait i don't remember there's a structure nearby you that like you're like oh that's like a water 0.99

00:24:51.300 tower oh yeah yeah totally a great brutalist i wasn't sure if it was a brutalist couple

00:24:55.840 you did say that no the brutalist uh the brutalist is in my opinion astonishing and uh the opinion

00:25:03.140 of many others i suppose it's always exciting when when something like that is embraced by

00:25:06.460 the mainstream like i hadn't seen it when it had won um you know palm door whoa but one i won a lot

00:25:13.820 yeah yeah and i go god damn but um i wanted to spread a rumor that i was cut out of the brutalist

00:25:19.540 Maybe this podcast will be the beginning of that. 0.89

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00:26:42.900 I just want to say about the colds. Yeah. What I do is it's like, okay, the cold hits and then

00:26:47.840 there's a scramble to figure out surviving the cold right yeah and this is how and how i'm gonna

00:26:52.920 live in my new life which is this having this cold and then you start to get a handle on it

00:26:56.400 you figure out which lozenge yeah candy you like whatever okay and by the time you've optimized

00:27:03.080 it's over it's moving the other direction yeah so then you become more prepared and less sick

00:27:08.560 right so now you have an you have an abundance of of lozengeers by the way 0.55

00:27:13.800 you're actually reminding me because i this is this is this is the jew in me i've i think you'll

00:27:24.660 find this amusing because you know going away to london for a month i had my doctor write me

00:27:29.900 a script for steroids and antibiotic in case god forbid something happens over there

00:27:35.020 wait but you could get um you mean like because you couldn't get into like you'd have to you

00:27:41.360 don't want to go running into having to go to a doctor so when i was in london performing last

00:27:46.340 year i got a pretty shitty ear infection i had no other symptoms it was like crazy and the theater

00:27:52.760 where i was working god bless took me to the doctor they paid for it they took me they like

00:27:57.500 you know but i believe if i had to pay it would have been you know upwards of would have been

00:28:02.140 like a 700 bill or something really yeah so um god you're so you're so prepared my god thank you

00:28:10.140 i mean it's just like i mean i saw your amazon haul that we're gonna post as a bonus to all

00:28:18.860 tears um by the way my makeup haul my sephora makeup haul is a six minute video it wouldn't

00:28:24.700 let me text it to you and that's got the goods yeah okay i'm excited and you went in person or

00:28:29.760 online oh no i thought i thought i got that i thought maybe not okay that's exciting should

00:28:36.000 i do commentary then definitely that's a silent video i imagine no i'm talking i'm talking through

00:28:40.360 it and did it get recorded yeah of course no because screen recording i don't know no that's

00:28:45.440 a different video i sent you a video of me unboxing oh hell six minute video okay of makeup

00:28:51.420 and what what was the um tally of what cost hundreds i mean sephora came to over 200 not

00:28:58.820 much over yeah 220 something and you're protected and blanketed by the sephora return policy of

00:29:04.340 course right so i was like there was one of the biggest users of sephora returns exactly so i was

00:29:10.160 like well it's almost but let's never forget and some some people might be new to the pod or haven't

00:29:15.860 listened to every episode um years ago i reformation famously has a very um friendly return

00:29:23.680 policy you can return anything for up to i think 30 days or something and i in a fever of like i

00:29:29.940 need a dress for this now or something this is 2019 i purchased six dresses which came to be

00:29:38.160 very expensive but i thought i kept telling myself it's not real it's not real because you can return

00:29:43.120 it all the money's not real it's still your money i buy the six dresses i try them all on there's

00:29:47.880 only one i like i pack up the five dresses okay oh and then you forgot about them no no i pack up

00:29:53.680 the five dresses painstaking i hacked about packed them up i was returning another product that day

00:30:00.280 in a separate box switched the labels i realized in retrospect so i sent the five

00:30:05.800 reformation dresses totaling 462 billion mail to some random company lost to the earth that was a

00:30:15.220 lesson and i've been traumatized to that company and and ask them to hey i think i did and never 0.98

00:30:21.200 got something back some someone opened it up and went oh it's my lucky day you got fucked oh i got 0.98

00:30:26.640 i fucked myself oh speaking of getting do you want okay here what do you want do you want me 0.99

00:30:33.640 to tell you about an exciting purchase i'm going to make hold on to level up my company sure that 1.00

00:30:37.880 we got everything here but the sleep wait what's been going on with the sleep or anything i wanted

00:30:42.780 to say about that not really and then we covered the cold thing well here's a question do you have 0.98

00:30:48.420 a humidifier going fuck me am i ridiculous no this whole time jacqueline look at me 1.00

00:30:57.440 it's called being stupid have you tried it god damn it well we're in a new world though i gotta 1.00

00:31:05.400 say with humidifiers because i've done some research i gotta write this down i'm no longer 0.99

00:31:09.960 doing ultrasonic canopy no canopy is wick i think wick based or whatever i am doing canopy base i

00:31:17.340 think i think that's what it is it's like essentially a moist cloth and there is oh

00:31:22.120 right casually emitting yeah a lot of things now are ultrasonic meaning you know the plate

00:31:27.060 vibrates the water whatever and and oh sure they're saying stainless steel the people on

00:31:32.100 reddit were saying that um because i have it i have the i have the various monitors whatever

00:31:39.900 my thing went crazy i think i talked about this but the point is they're telling us on reddit that

00:31:45.800 ultrasonic humidifiers which is like most of the new ones you see because they're like and now

00:31:51.060 ultrasonic right yeah instead of like heat-based steam because everyone thinks that's going to be

00:31:55.720 like bacteria that it anything that's in the water that's impure is like straight up flying

00:32:02.760 into your lungs okay they're like so it's like fully aerosolizing anything so they're like if

00:32:08.860 you're using an ultrasonic humidifier it better be distilled or purified water right okay so so

00:32:16.280 i go oh wow so then i got i got this zero water big fucking thing it's like a brita kind of but

00:32:23.140 it's actually sort of like it got something else going on there i don't know zero water it's like 0.51

00:32:27.300 sort of impressive they have this little thing that you test the water with and then you test

00:32:31.280 their water and it's like so i've been filling up my ultrasonic oh this pre-purified water

00:32:37.800 and then i go i get to another a new level with it which is like and by the way and i think this

00:32:43.480 was like no matter what kind of humidifier you're using they're like if you don't clean it

00:32:49.580 every day let that sink in so it's a i mean except canopy yeah it might be no canopy

00:32:59.920 the whole thing you don't have to clean it or not in the same to the same degree no sweetheart you 0.98

00:33:06.500 straight up don't have to fucking clean that shit ever i mean i mean if that's true i will sell them 0.98

00:33:13.920 this this footage as the greatest ad that's ever happened wait so while we haven't invented a 0.99

00:33:18.980 self-cleaning humidifier yet camp canopy is designed to make maintenance as easy as hassle

00:33:23.440 free a little upkeep will ensure it stays mold free it's mold inhibiting clean your humidifier

00:33:32.840 at least once a month weekly if you're using it regularly wait what does that mean though

00:33:36.860 wash it out with water soapy water what's what does cleaning mean clean cleaning is such a huge

00:33:43.960 word oh it sure is never leave standing water in the unit if you need to turn it off quickly 0.98

00:33:51.000 whatever i don't know man that's not saying it's not saying i can't find it shit oh well 0.95

00:33:57.880 can't worry but uh well guess what oh you know what i'll save for um i'll save for product 0.91

00:34:06.040 corner a package i received today oh i wonder if you got it yet too something you were wondering

00:34:11.120 about whether you're also getting and i'm like yeah oh honey yeah it arrived it arrived only i

00:34:17.880 only knew about it because of our previous conversation that's really exciting oh maybe

00:34:22.400 i'll throw that on tonight that sounds fun okay a couple things okay do you want me to tell you

00:34:26.700 something that i want to get yeah it's a life upgrade what do you want first the life upgrade 0.93

00:34:31.300 new life product or a company that's betrayed me shit okay i think start with betrayal okay 0.95

00:34:40.140 we'll all be still salivating with hope for the other thing okay so like many of you i fell prey 0.98

00:34:46.540 well it's just too dramatic to say that but listen i've purchased a few things from an instagram ad

00:34:52.900 have you and you have too oh yeah me waiting for you yeah like they've got my number as you

00:34:59.300 famously said you wish instagram was pure ads so i was scrolling by the way my life's changed

00:35:08.540 i'm meditating um really okay but listen yeah i mean a week but yeah wow no but uh i feel that

00:35:16.200 I feel the difference. Okay. I was scrolling and I get served this ad for daily notes and

00:35:23.900 apostrophe oats as in no oats. And this is kind of like a go to heat it up. Let me look at this.

00:35:30.700 Like, um, you know, an oat free kind of morning oatmeal situation. I got excited free. Like it's

00:35:36.840 yeah, it's hemp hearts. Exactly. You've yeah, exactly. Let me guess protein. And I kind of

00:35:41.640 is highly featured no let me look here i don't think so actually it's like what's in here

00:35:46.940 what's in here come on what's in here by the way it ain't cheap i was going into work where i'm

00:35:53.740 like oh my god it's gonna be a thing of like morning like cooking like don't have time to

00:35:57.900 to do it right you know this will be a fast a fast helpful see you prepare you purchase in 0.88

00:36:02.660 preparation prices i fucking in general well this is crazy in preparation i don't i purchase for 0.81

00:36:07.720 what i want now yeah well and then i wait go on just so you know chia seeds flax seeds hemp hearts 0.97

00:36:13.900 coconut flakes almonds vanilla extract okay so it's really sort of it's actually mct oil power

00:36:20.420 yeah right powder yeah i'm actually stunned by okay wow 21 grams of protein in a pouch 0.96

00:36:27.260 no sugars okay sex carb 28 grams of fat okay so it's like healthy whatever this shit is expensive 0.96

00:36:35.720 72 dollars how many for a pack of give me the numbers folks 20 how many i mean i'm guessing 0.98

00:36:47.100 what i'm just throwing out numbers why doesn't it say how many are in a pack i mean i'm guessing 0.93

00:36:51.620 it's if it's it's probably less you know 10 less than 10 dollars a goddamn thing so who knows 0.83

00:36:56.520 and i remember looking at the reviews recent people going oh this is great it's delicious 0.88

00:37:01.600 i love it so i just kind of go you know i'm gonna buy i'm gonna try it what's the worst

00:37:04.860 thing that could happen right yeah it's expensive it's kind of a crazy thing but whatever

00:37:07.640 i made this purchase over a month ago and i woke up in a cold sweat where are my daily notes

00:37:13.240 oh wow okay i woke up going hello you remember so then and i check nothing i dm them on instagram

00:37:21.160 hi no no first i go to the help center the help center as if i go to them and i go hey

00:37:28.380 hi i made this purchase um it's gonna be a month in two days wanted to know if i could

00:37:33.180 updated my order no response i oh wait okay i by the way i wanted to make a quick announcement

00:37:39.120 this makes more sense to me i'm finding my original receipt i spent 45 they were doing

00:37:44.200 a sale that's what you need grab it because i go 70 dollars like i can't believe you did that

00:37:49.100 yeah so okay okay so you know it's interesting i cannot locate on their site i'm on the same

00:37:59.460 thing and i go i go kate's kate's yeah look there's a nutritional there's the back of the

00:38:03.460 nutritional they're gonna tell us how many are in the package okay i'm thinking you're the problem

00:38:08.200 i ain't seeing how many are in the package it's impossible to locate very but the point is no

00:38:15.740 response no freaking response and then i dm them on instagram and i go hi guys like this is what

00:38:22.240 happened no response big guns no i emailed them again this is actually me being petty i just email

00:38:26.240 them hello question mark which is rude okay i don't think it's that rude daily notes

00:38:33.220 no oh customer service and we are now officially past the month we are now officially past the

00:38:41.180 month mark you got no response by email i got no response that's much better yeah

00:38:46.480 working it so what would you do if you were me swan claims

00:38:51.000 i guess you could go fraud on the amex i don't know hit fraud right where it's like i don't

00:38:58.660 i just need this charge or something i don't know i'm looking at my i'm looking at i would

00:39:02.380 just suffer the wind oh my god like kate kate what guess i'm literally rocket money inspired 0.98

00:39:08.220 by you i got on rocket money yeah what i gotta do ads for them if they if they are for fucking 0.74

00:39:14.160 sure okay uh i see there's this delta charge and it's not the first time i've noticed okay 0.82

00:39:19.820 that it's there and then forgotten slash can't deal with it i like the sound of that

00:39:23.440 so i like is sort of trying to show off to myself i'm redownloading market money i decided

00:39:29.160 delta wi-fi this is like two years ago by the way i'm delta gold it happened oh my god

00:39:35.220 okay i can't remember what i am right now i'm platinum that's above that's the highest oh

00:39:41.940 then no i get really confused i think i am yeah yeah so silver is below gold when you get down

00:39:48.980 graded and you go what were all my work what was all my work for i know it's actually like being

00:39:52.900 dropped into a society like mqms and mqrs or whatever these things that they talk about you're

00:39:58.380 supposed to know what they are but anyway yeah so i two two years ago decide wi-fi on board i'm

00:40:03.820 gonna go for it okay and have the permanent membership i remember this right yeah i remember

00:40:08.320 this i was flying so much and it's like yeah why not for 49 bucks every time i get on the flight

00:40:13.660 hilarious then the beginning of 2023 you get it for free with a sky miles account okay wi-fi

00:40:21.400 okay wait you mean just if you have sky miles you like yeah like if you have a sky miles account i

00:40:26.100 don't know like it's like it's like now free sky miles like so i'm just like i don't even know

00:40:30.960 what's going on but i yes i know that i have that so i've been getting it free because to me they

00:40:35.060 ended this other system in my mind or something okay yeah yeah yeah i've been getting charged

00:40:40.240 fifty dollars a month for like two years no no no no no jacqueline jacqueline no and then guess

00:40:45.120 what jacqueline they somehow got me twice where there was a long period of time where i was being

00:40:51.560 charged twice a month like almost like on two different email addresses hundred bucks a month

00:40:57.660 i think i canceled one of them jacqueline jacqueline no the other one continued no

00:41:02.260 so i jacqueline chatted with someone on the um delta site well first i googled just i needed

00:41:10.020 a compadre speaking my language you know what i mean i needed someone just being like i got

00:41:13.340 fucked by wi-fi on board of course yeah yeah of course and they're like i you know i was able to

00:41:18.020 get a refund via the the chat i go in the chat on the website usually the chat on those things 0.96

00:41:24.060 well i'll tell you amex i've gotten shit done actually via the chat i think i've gotten airplane 0.56

00:41:28.920 shit done via the chat you know what i'm talking about like yeah of course you're like up in the 0.74

00:41:32.740 corner yeah you're like hello you know you're like talk to a person whatever yeah and i i don't know 0.94

00:41:37.480 And then I had to file a claim and I barely survived the day.

00:41:40.980 You know what I mean?

00:41:41.600 Oh my God, that is hell.

00:41:43.540 I uploaded some screen grabs of receipts like, oh, and I was just like, it's $1,500 or whatever.

00:41:53.360 Yeah.

00:41:53.900 I mean, that's, yeah.

00:41:59.620 I know that I need to always be drinking electrolytes.

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00:43:07.960 hags for 20 off your first order what about castor oil we talk about this yet because it's popping

00:43:23.440 up we talk i feel like you told me about this recently but i heard some other yeah yeah oh

00:43:27.820 wait i want to talk about castor oil yeah i have two things i have two things castor oil i'll tell

00:43:32.220 you about you've noticed this right you'll get a charge from amazon says amazon marketplace na

00:43:38.380 na have you seen this i don't know about the na i don't think i've noticed that but

00:43:42.600 i get it's weird yeah marketplace means you ordered something from amazon i think but what

00:43:47.560 is na i don't know you were hoping it meant not applicable and you're not getting charged

00:43:52.900 i don't know what i thought it's probably like um amazon marketplace national registry

00:43:58.960 okay that makes sense or something you know what are you questioning i think i'm gonna get off my

00:44:04.740 phone yeah oh you're literally rocket moneying while you're oh my goding me i said i said to

00:44:10.320 you i said i was like i'm going to stop but i just wanted you like jacqueline jacqueline i'm really

00:44:14.920 that's so horrible what happened to you what happened to you no no no that i was fully there

00:44:18.700 i was fully there i was still there um although i do want us to do shopping you know we need to

00:44:25.320 figure out how to do on here is add where it can also be recording my screen as a secondary window

00:44:30.340 wait jack i'm obsessed with this idea it's huge okay so like right now i could be researching

00:44:37.380 shopping with you shared screen hunting around you going wait wait what's that product up there

00:44:43.360 i scroll up i'm like oh yeah let's look at that we're reading it we're soaring our faces are half

00:44:47.740 the screen yeah viewer gets to follow along well i'm waiting for an apology from daily notes okay

00:44:53.360 i want but by the way jacqueline i really am sufficiently deeply disturbed by the overcharge

00:44:59.040 and i need to re-download rocket money because i feel like you know what is rough though on rocket

00:45:04.240 money you ever go cancel that for me and they go we can't they once canceled something for me i

00:45:08.880 don't know no i have to log back in like i think i stopped paying for it how much is it

00:45:13.540 six dollars ten bucks a month six dollars i appreciate that they include themselves

00:45:17.640 you know what i'm talking about they're like they're like and you can cancel at us

00:45:21.540 you can cancel us at any at any moment yeah i mean it's the only move do you imagine the moment

00:45:27.340 in the meeting where it was like discussed like and just so are we going to include rocket

00:45:31.460 and like like me and me in it yeah and they're like we have to we have to well you know that's

00:45:38.160 been kind of scary and yeah maybe you'll agree like like i'm gonna put my phone my phone down

00:45:43.920 i promise but when rocket money goes hey link us to your bank link us to this it feels scary

00:45:49.420 i have a deep faith in that ever since i downloaded like expensify in 1984 you know like

00:45:55.180 like i was like i handed it over then it became mint or something i don't know but it was like

00:45:59.580 who cares and i'm like look at them connecting to the bank and you got to head over to the bank and

00:46:03.320 i mean not physically i'm just trying to close down a few things here so i can see you because

00:46:07.740 i've lost you okay i'm gonna do rocket money after this but um i jacqueline wait i you were

00:46:14.980 and now we have a product that's gonna change your life i thought it's beyond product but

00:46:19.500 okay everyone's gonna go i'm not excited it's fine i'm ready to buy an ipad i cannot believe

00:46:26.040 you're saying this i have for the first time in my life okay been posing a question of could an

00:46:34.740 ipad have a place in my life because normally wait are you serious yes we have not discussed it at

00:46:39.520 all i mean i'm sure apple planned it this way okay but like i've received no ads listen me too

00:46:46.600 but they get to i had an ipad i had an ipad and it changed my life okay i mean let's relax but

00:46:53.240 the point is it had like the detachable keyboard and for travel your laptop the heavy heavy thing

00:46:59.380 yeah nope ipad boom boom boom backstage at shows playing music off the ipad in the purse it goes

00:47:04.780 off to dinner like full ad for being a businesswoman and i might i might race over to the

00:47:11.860 apple store this weekend and buy one emergency style oh my god because i'm looking at my laptop

00:47:17.040 going do i really want this heavy machinery i know we're gonna make sure that you can report

00:47:22.440 the cob the cobcast i'm not gonna i'm not gonna get it this weekend i just came to and realized

00:47:28.660 there's no way i'll buy it this weekend but why timing just the hour just it takes so much time

00:47:35.040 the girl also what do you think about streaming stuff because i'm going to be watching stuff on

00:47:40.560 my laptop right on the bed in a hotel life will i be disappointed i mean i think i think the ipad is

00:47:47.440 is as pleasurable probably i'm buying it this weekend all i needed was one affirmation from

00:47:53.380 you which i feel affirmed you come to the grove yeah i could figure out buying one too

00:47:59.500 us going in together would be really fun oh that'd be so fun i don't think i like first of all you

00:48:07.480 know i laughed out loud when i first heard the ipad i was like that's a joke right i thought 0.50

00:48:11.300 it was like an snl like they would never name it pad like a fucking sanitary napkin like right 0.56

00:48:18.940 i was like the ipad like here comes the jokes okay yeah and then just i was like it's just 0.99

00:48:25.560 like not a good sound it sounds stupid it sounds like it's just a dumb sounding word 0.80

00:48:29.840 yeah and and then here it is here it is and by the way i want you to know when i had it in my life 0.60

00:48:37.760 i really loved it and then it died it's just an old technology some days it's so scary when that

00:48:43.860 happened it died good night it's gone emotionally or like i i just i can convince that you decided

00:48:51.960 it was dead before it truly was now i talk about it now that i'm thinking about you struggled and

00:48:57.940 you said and you decided in your mind that it was old and dead and that's happened sometimes

00:49:01.980 i mean while i was waiting for restoration you might be like i'm just like wondering if like 1.00

00:49:07.040 one hard reset one hard restart and it's back in business god i know what you mean oh fuck 0.60

00:49:13.940 okay where is it i know exactly where it's where i mean i would you know should i go grab it right 0.95

00:49:18.300 now and turn it on there fun i'm interested i think i know exactly where it is all right grab

00:49:23.040 it okay try to try to grab your charger you can you can talk while i'm gone i will see where she 0.50

00:49:29.200 goes. She's off to get the iPad. I could show this off. I bit the bullet and got this modernist

00:49:38.760 post-it brand. You know, this is about function. When you give in, I want, I wanted this. I wanted

00:49:48.100 to be able to pull the thing with one hand and not, not have to be a two handed operation. This

00:49:53.000 is heavy and it holds and it works with one hand once you get these things home and they're

00:50:01.620 operational at your desk and you come to love them due to their function you just it's different

00:50:09.620 it's um i've got it okay okay okay let's see let's see if we can save you 2k okay luckily i've got

00:50:20.480 this nice this is because it takes the old charger right what lightning the thin one

00:50:28.640 i don't know your language great okay look okay thanks charging if this thing just turns on i

00:50:38.440 don't know what i'll think about myself let me look up let me look up um reset ipad in case i

00:50:45.940 want to give you like a key have a key command force reset you can press and hold the top button

00:50:51.160 until the logo appears you can also reset no okay see but doesn't press and hold the top button

00:50:56.440 until the power slider um and what's going on well it's just because it's dead right so it's like

00:51:03.600 i guess i should just let it your charger definitely has juice right yeah okay so it's

00:51:09.560 probably it's probably gonna pop on soon and then we'll see it'd be crazy and then we'll deal with

00:51:14.760 it's gonna be a cliffhanger for next for next week yeah um i want to make sure we i have to

00:51:22.740 interrupt you really quickly because i just remember how you made made fun of me it made

00:51:26.380 me laugh the other day remember when i said to you i met someone okay of course i guess

00:51:33.780 i'm the one who told you that you said that i know it's so funny okay okay you are you are the

00:51:41.120 90s UK you're in 90s like you're even more like one of these women of it's like it's like it's

00:51:48.240 like when Harry met Sally you're one of the friends okay it's like an older sort of thing

00:51:53.020 it's like I met someone I met someone is so it's like um you know it's in the same vein as you know

00:51:59.540 he's never gonna leave her you know like he's never he's never gonna leave her you know like

00:52:04.820 yeah and and yeah i met someone i actually it pops in my head all the time and then i like

00:52:11.000 like it just yeah it pops in my head that's very so funny um but wait what made you feel that

00:52:16.840 something about sort of going through your home and sort of looking at your life made you think

00:52:21.100 of that while you were headed to get the ipad wait what what made you think of i met someone

00:52:26.540 right oh just very rant it just popped into my head nothing even prompted it it just popped

00:52:31.100 okay well honestly we have to go also i have to conserve my voice

00:52:34.320 yeah okay well we're gonna do a cliffhanger and then we're gonna solve

00:52:38.060 the mystery of the ipad next episode and if you want if you want act four

00:52:41.960 the product corner drop as they call it i'm gonna take a picture

00:52:45.400 sign on i'm gonna take a picture of the dead iphone next to the spaghetti

00:52:49.120 squash in question okay great anyway love you love you

00:53:01.100 okay this is a news flash from the future this is news flash from the future i'm dropping in

00:53:07.000 beep beep beep coming from the future of the episode to drop back into the real episode and say

00:53:10.700 the ipad turns on during act four so you might want to sign up

Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - March 18, 2025

Tryptophan： The Pride of the 90s

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