There Are No Girls on the Internet - April 20, 2022


Anna Delvey scammed her out of thousands of dollars; are scammers like Anna being rewarded for their cons?

Topics
Arrested for making TikToks? Yup. It happened to Coco Briscoe Elon Musk is buying Twitter. Here’s what it means for marginalized folks on

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 1 minute

Words per minute

170.93

Word count

10,466

Sentence count

445

Harmful content

Misogyny

18

sentences flagged

Toxicity

5

sentences flagged

Hate speech

4

sentences flagged


Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
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00:00:49.980 If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home.
00:00:55.400 Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse.
00:01:04.060 Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions.
00:01:12.300 Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.
00:01:14.080 Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:01:19.460 I survived nine months in captivity, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive
00:01:26.780 what should have destroyed them. I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files.
00:01:32.380 Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable, abducted, stalked, controlled,
00:01:38.200 and nearly silenced. These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive.
00:01:43.380 Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 0.58
00:01:52.060 She definitely committed so many offenses that harmed real-life people.
00:01:58.080 So I think to flatten something like that into this very frivolous, fun, glossy slog of a TV show, full stop, I don't know, dot, dot, dot.
00:02:07.740 There Are No Girls on the Internet is a production of iHeartRadio and Unbossed Creative.
00:02:20.760 I'm Bridget Todd, and this is There Are No Girls on the Internet.
00:02:25.940 We spend a lot of time on this show talking about lies and the Internet.
00:02:30.300 And I have to say that part of the reason why I personally work on disinformation issues
00:02:34.180 is because of my intense fascination in things that are not true.
00:02:38.640 How do lies function?
00:02:40.380 Why do we believe them?
00:02:42.000 Who profits off of them?
00:02:43.740 And how do they shape our world?
00:02:45.820 So in 2018, when the story first broke about the fake German heiress Anna Delvey,
00:02:50.720 I was, of course, fascinated.
00:02:53.520 Anna, real name Anna Sorokin, had been scamming investors, hotels, even her own friends, 0.65
00:02:59.880 in pursuit of opening an art foundation and private club called the Anna Delvey Foundation.
00:03:05.820 The club, like the millions of dollars of family money that Anna said that she was supposedly worth, never materialized.
00:03:13.480 Anna's former friend, Rachel Deloach Williams, first introduced the world to Anna
00:03:17.840 after she wrote about their disastrous trip to Marrakesh.
00:03:22.220 Anna initially agreed to pay for the trip,
00:03:24.480 but never managed to put down a working credit card at the pricey villa where they were staying.
00:03:29.080 When hotel staff insisted that somebody put down a functioning credit card,
00:03:33.020 Rachel was pressured into putting the cost of the entire trip,
00:03:36.940 $62,000, more than a year of her salary, on her work and personal credit cards.
00:03:43.500 Now, Anna assured her that she would wire her the money to pay her back, but she never did.
00:03:48.480 In the end, Rachel helped lead police to Anna's whereabouts,
00:03:52.920 which led to Anna's arrest and conviction for one count of attempted grand larceny,
00:03:57.460 three counts of grand larceny, and four counts of theft of services related to her various scams.
00:04:04.460 But she was found not guilty of the $62,000 Rachel was out for the trip.
00:04:11.220 Last month, Netflix released Inventing Anna, a fictionalized, very sympathetic retelling of her con,
00:04:18.280 based on the reporting of Jessica Pressler at New York Magazine.
00:04:22.100 Anna's crimes were so flashy and outlandish, it was hard not to pay attention.
00:04:26.500 And that, Rachel says, is kind of part of the scam.
00:04:31.680 In her book, My Friend Anna, Rachel writes,
00:04:35.560 I have come to understand that your attention is an investment.
00:04:39.060 Giving someone your attention is the act of being influenced,
00:04:42.080 whether or not you're aware of it in the moment.
00:04:44.360 And especially in this age of constant simulation,
00:04:47.340 with endless people and stories competing for your clicks, likes, follows, and time,
00:04:52.640 your attention has value.
00:04:54.340 It has power.
00:04:55.960 It's worth something.
00:04:58.020 It can even put money in someone's pocket.
00:05:00.920 Be careful where you spend it and understand the cost.
00:05:04.440 I spoke to Rachel about why our current digital media landscape is presenting a golden age for scammers and what that means for all of us.
00:05:12.220 And just one quick note, we were recording on a noisy day in Brooklyn.
00:05:15.960 So the audio quality might not be what you're used to from this podcast.
00:05:19.780 Why do you think this is?
00:05:21.380 Why do you think we're in this era where people cannot get enough of people who lie and scam
00:05:26.440 and steal and cheat others?
00:05:28.320 Yeah, it's a good question.
00:05:30.720 And I've certainly asked myself the same one.
00:05:33.840 But I think I have a kind of unique vantage point in that I lived through like a con firsthand.
00:05:40.120 And I know that's sort of how it works.
00:05:42.420 It's sort of this larger than life flashy illusion, like a magic trick that is meant to grab your attention so that while you're busy sort of puzzling over it, you know, whatever sort of business is going on behind the scenes can can happen without too much focus or analysis, I suppose.
00:06:01.640 So I think there's a fascination with, you know, tricksters and with like it is in many ways like like watching a magician at work and so that people want to want to watch as like a voyeur to understand where this light of hand occurred, how someone fell for it.
00:06:18.600 And, you know, especially in this age where it is kind of hard with the Internet and with all of these different media forms coming at us to discern between fact and fiction, to get to watch something in an arena that seems pretty low stakes because it's billed as entertainment.
00:06:36.700 I think people enjoy maybe like they don't think about it that hard, but they enjoy getting to see something that straddles that divide on purpose.
00:06:46.120 In talking about the Netflix show Inventing Anna, you write really compellingly about this, that one of the reasons why the show is kind of dangerous is that it does sort of aim to straddle that line.
00:06:59.260 Each episode starts with, this is a completely true story, except for the things that are fictionalized.
00:07:04.620 And I think as a viewer, you might not really know that you're acting like it can be used as a way to heavily, deeply fictionalize something that actually people actually experience.
00:07:17.480 And I think that the purposeful straddling of that line of facts and fiction and kind of blending them can be a little bit dangerous because the stakes do feel low.
00:07:26.040 It just feels like entertainment.
00:07:27.520 Exactly.
00:07:28.340 I mean, you've said it in some ways better than I can say it myself, but that's exactly right.
00:07:33.360 And it's kind of disheartening. I mean, I appreciate that you're speaking up about this, too. And other people are certainly paying attention now. But I think part of the reason I chose to continue talking about this, which, you know, the story, which is well and truly behind me and I would love to move on from and not be discussing today.
00:07:53.160 But the reason I'm speaking up is because I see something happening that sets a precedent that I do think is troubling and that I do think is dangerous.
00:08:00.300 And I do think it requires viewers to ask questions probably more so than we can expect a media company who profits from it to do.
00:08:09.520 But the Netflix show Inventing Anna does do this thing where it sticks that label up as a disclaimer, but it blends factual information with things that are completely made up, as it says it does, but it makes viewers go online, look things up, see that some things are true.
00:08:28.580 And then that creates this like foundation of credibility that allows them to think, well, if this is true, I believe the narrative that they've woven with, you know, this big, big budget production and all this like whistles and bells.
00:08:41.620 And like, how compelling is that? You know, storytelling is really powerful. And I think that's why it requires a level of responsibility.
00:08:48.600 I think people are apt to believe things that they watch in stories or that they connect to in terms of a narrative more than sometimes dry facts that they hear on the news.
00:08:58.580 Yeah, you know, you describe this in your book in talking about the way that Anna's crimes have been glamorized, in part by places like Netflix, that you see it as a big picture problem.
00:09:09.360 Is that sort of what you are referring to, like that sort of the big picture problem that you're describing?
00:09:14.920 Yeah, that I think specifically I have become very mindful of the ways that our attention can be commodified.
00:09:22.280 So when Anna was released from prison, the first time before she was detained by ICE, I was asked to do a bunch of media appearances commenting on her release. And I declined because I was like, why, you know, why would I do that? I've already written the book. It's out. I've moved on.
00:09:40.920 And I have no interest in sort of coming out and speaking or hypothesizing about what somebody may or may not do after jail.
00:09:47.720 Like, she did her time.
00:09:49.600 Like, all we can do is, like, hope that, you know, Godspeed, like, I hope this doesn't happen again.
00:09:53.760 But while I was declining things, I saw that she was being given various media platforms.
00:09:59.940 And that would be fine if she had something productive to say.
00:10:04.320 But it felt as though these different outlets were just giving her space to rationalize her behavior, to continue peddling belief in this, you know, fictional, in my mind, like this fictional intention, you know, like I was really going to do it.
00:10:21.160 I didn't mean to never pay someone back, like all of these things that I believed for far too long and that she's now getting to sell to a broader audience.
00:10:29.040 So as I was watching that, what I realized is our attention to her, our attention to people like this, our attention to things is what gives them influence and power.
00:10:41.460 So when I say it's a big picture problem, I think what I'm really referring to is the attention economy and the way that we think we're watching something just without stakes.
00:10:51.620 but our viewership in itself is actually something that does have a monetary value and also a value
00:10:58.480 in terms of our our own behavior our beliefs um and and how how we move through the world
00:11:06.940 you write about how Anna would be given these like very convivial interviews where it's clearly
00:11:13.960 the interviewer was like wow this Anna this Anna Delvey like can you can you can you believe it
00:11:19.260 And they would have these buzzy headlines. And I guess part of me is like, how can you print the words of somebody who lies? If you're a journalist or a reporter, like somebody asked, oh, are you going to try to talk to Anna for this interview? And I was like, why would I? Why would I want to talk to somebody who lies?
00:11:37.420 Yeah, I mean, I think there's a way to do it. There's actually a 60 Minutes Australia interview. I thought it was, I mean, it's, of course, still kind of sensationalized around the edges, but at least the viewer had a very firm, like, framing device in which he, you know, it's the same way I think the most successful interviews with someone like Donald Trump were conducted, where you have a baseline foundation of truth, fiction, you know, some degree of commonly shared right, wrong.
00:12:07.420 when it comes to like ethics or morality and you actually try to hold someone to account.
00:12:12.140 That's interesting. And then I think it's actually like journalism. But I think what I do find
00:12:18.760 puzzling or I understand it, but I think I find it problematic is the way that so much of our
00:12:25.860 media and our news sources today are driven by not by quality, but traffic. So places are
00:12:32.540 incentivized to come up with these clickbait headlines with these really sensationalized
00:12:37.580 recaps of you know you know events that in real life were were interesting but you know are so
00:12:44.160 much more interesting if you embellish these details it and it was troubling for me because
00:12:49.660 watching like even during the trial the way people were reporting on what she was wearing or like
00:12:54.220 you know oh she's so audacious can you believe like like yeah she is that's what you know that's
00:12:59.440 drew me into the friendship too. Here's this person you can't quite figure out. She's wacky.
00:13:05.820 She's really confident. She's doing these things that kind of break your brain and make you sit
00:13:11.920 there and stare and kind of ask questions. But that's how it works. While we're doing that, 0.99
00:13:16.260 no one's asking, where's the money coming from? What's the impact of this person's behavior and
00:13:23.260 why does it matter? According to BBC News, which filed a Freedom of Information Act request,
00:13:29.180 Netflix reportedly started paying Anna before she had ever even gone to trial.
00:13:33.700 They paid $30,000, which went toward paying her lawyer.
00:13:37.800 Then, Netflix paid for the rights to adapt Anna's story into the show Inventing Anna.
00:13:42.960 In total, Netflix reportedly paid Anna $320,000.
00:13:48.700 Now, that money was initially frozen to give her victims a chance to sue.
00:13:53.580 And even though some of her victims did file claims for a portion of those funds,
00:13:57.560 whatever is left over that didn't go to paying the lawyers
00:13:59.820 just goes right to Anna. 0.88
00:14:02.040 And what did Anna spend that money on? 1.00
00:14:04.960 Designer clothing. 1.00
00:14:06.420 You've written about the fact that Netflix paid Anna.
00:14:10.460 You know, it's a little bit of one of those things 1.00
00:14:12.460 where she used the money to pay legal fees.
00:14:16.280 However, I would argue that it's not like,
00:14:18.480 it's not like, I mean, they're her legal fees.
00:14:21.120 And so if somebody gives me money and I'm like,
00:14:22.660 oh, I use that money to pay my bills,
00:14:24.820 I feel like it's a bit of a stretch to say
00:14:26.920 that I'm not benefiting from that, but whatever. Do you feel that Netflix is contributing to an
00:14:32.540 ecosystem where lying and scamming can be financially rewarding and financially lucrative?
00:14:39.040 Yeah. I mean, unfortunately, this is like very cut and dry evidence of that because
00:14:43.520 they moved so quickly to option the story that they ended up paying Anna before
00:14:51.320 her case even went to trial, before she even went to trial. And that's the money that was
00:14:56.500 used initially to pay the criminal defense lawyer whom she chose to pay his initial fees.
00:15:05.420 And then beyond that, they started their writer's room the day that the trial began. There were
00:15:11.620 Netflix writers in the courtroom. Her lawyer was representing her in her entertainment dealings
00:15:17.260 at the same time he was representing her in a criminal trial. And I knew that at the time,
00:15:22.120 which is part of why I think I went into it feeling I mean of course I was also so raw and
00:15:27.380 it was all so fresh and I was so emotional way more you know I wish I had I had had like a
00:15:33.240 little more distance from everything or a little more composure but I just felt frankly so gaslighted
00:15:38.600 by the fact that I was being accused of using my testimony as content for entertainment quote
00:15:43.960 unquote because I was writing a book um while at the same time I knew that everybody there was
00:15:49.500 doing that. And I actually wasn't like, you know, I was left $60,000 in debt. Like, I was just
00:15:55.520 finding a way to like heal to understand to move forward. So yeah, it was really taxidermy. And I
00:16:02.940 do think Netflix certainly not only influenced the criminal justice proceedings, but also gave
00:16:08.380 this person who, you know, we can all think what we want to think, but looking on paper at her past
00:16:14.040 actions. She is a convicted criminal, and they have created for her a glamorized version of
00:16:22.760 her crimes, given her a platform, given her an audience, and set her up with a viewership that
00:16:29.140 she can now continue to monopolize. She will continue to make money on the notoriety that 1.00
00:16:35.160 she achieved through committing criminal acts. Let's take a quick break. 0.99
00:16:44.040 Transcription by CastingWords
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00:17:47.700 When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months.
00:17:53.520 I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them.
00:18:00.020 I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files.
00:18:03.440 I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything.
00:18:12.040 Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable.
00:18:16.300 I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me.
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00:18:47.800 If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home.
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00:19:47.320 And we're back.
00:19:55.300 Scammers are not a new phenomena.
00:19:57.740 They've always existed.
00:19:59.120 But in the age of streaming services and social media,
00:20:02.440 it seems like we're living in a golden age for scammers,
00:20:05.820 where if your scam is flashy enough
00:20:07.720 and captures our attention in just the right kind of way,
00:20:11.020 what might have started as a scam
00:20:13.000 can be laundered into a more legitimate platform.
00:20:15.740 For instance, Netflix's The Tinder Swindler, a documentary that chronicles Simon Levev, who posed as a wealthy jet-set playboy by duping women that he met on the dating app Tinder, out of thousands of dollars.
00:20:30.780 Levev's con involved convincing women to loan him money through outlandish lies.
00:20:36.720 And since the documentary, Levev is clearly trying to parlay the attention and notoriety from his con into a pathway of a more legitimate, not to mention lucrative, platform.
00:20:48.100 So as Anna once intimated to a BBC reporter, it's kind of hard to say that crime doesn't pay, because it seems like in our current media landscape, it kind of does.
00:20:58.300 do you think that we live in a climate where people who scam and lie people like like she was
00:21:05.320 as you said she was convicted of this so it's not like it's some big secret it's not like it's you
00:21:08.740 saying this exactly these are just the facts of what happened i feel like we are allowing pathways
00:21:16.000 to legitimize these people and like you know maybe it started as a con and it started as a scam but
00:21:21.540 by the end of it you'll have money and an audience and people who are interested to see what happens
00:21:26.560 next, and that you can sort of legitimize
00:21:28.640 that. Like, for instance, if you watch the Netflix
00:21:30.400 documentary, The Tinder Swindler,
00:21:32.880 the scammer in that case,
00:21:34.680 Simone, Simon.
00:21:36.440 Simon LeVav, I think. Something like
00:21:38.560 that, yeah.
00:21:40.520 You know, he got this big bump
00:21:42.680 in social media followers,
00:21:44.400 and also is making pretty good money
00:21:46.700 on Cameo right now. He's charging
00:21:48.320 $300 for a personal shout-out,
00:21:50.700 and $1,400 for
00:21:52.500 a business shout-out. He has a manager, he's talked about
00:21:54.520 wanting to do a podcast. You know,
00:21:56.560 Are we creating, are, is the media creating pathways for folks to legitimize what started out as a scam or a con or a lie?
00:22:08.880 Absolutely. And I think, you know, looking back, there's actually a really interesting book about this called The Attention Merchants by this man called Tim Wu.
00:22:18.200 with the rise of reality television and this model of normal person to celebrity as a model
00:22:25.740 for business. And then it evolved into social media where people, it wasn't like winning the
00:22:33.320 lottery. Everybody too could do this if they found a way to brand themselves, to market themselves
00:22:38.720 that was compelling enough to attract attention. But as we've just realized, unless you have some
00:22:43.700 kind of outlandish, loud shtick or personality, like no one is really paying attention. And I
00:22:49.700 think this is like now evolved into curation, not just through digital media, but here are these
00:22:55.600 people. And these people have always existed, mind you, but we live in an age where that kind
00:23:00.620 of behavior is really rewarded. You know, it's not an age where it's about, you know, morality or
00:23:07.020 like, like, which, which sounds so like Pollyanna-ish and hokey, but it's very much about
00:23:13.160 the sort of the cult of personality and who attracts our attention.
00:23:16.380 And like, obviously who we, you know, voted our president is a testament, testament to
00:23:21.640 that.
00:23:22.660 What you just articulated is one of my biggest issues in making the show is the way that
00:23:29.720 we have our entire digital ecosystem and media ecosystem is biased toward outrageousness
00:23:38.140 and lies and scams.
00:23:40.080 It's been a documented thing that on social media, incorrect information travels much
00:23:45.240 faster and much farther than accurate information.
00:23:48.180 There's that saying like a lie can travel around the world while the truth is still
00:23:51.820 putting on its shoes or some variation of that, but it's very true.
00:23:55.940 Absolutely true.
00:23:56.800 And so, you know, we talk a lot on this podcast about the ways that our landscapes have become
00:24:02.340 this like marketplace for extremism and who's really losing is us, the general public.
00:24:08.280 You know, there's a problem when the weather channel is sensationalized, like for the weather
00:24:13.000 channel to be like, whoa, like, you know, and giving these like hokey names to things
00:24:18.040 and like making everything seem like a doomsday event.
00:24:21.020 And it's like, it's like sprinkling outside, like there's no news here.
00:24:24.700 They rely on viewership the same way as any other channel does. So for our entire economy to run
00:24:32.180 based on clicks or attention, that is scary. There are certain things that I think probably
00:24:40.040 we all might be a little better off if there were other motivators.
00:24:46.180 We all deserve timely, thoughtful, accurate information. And so even your example of the
00:24:51.500 Weather Channel. If I need to know whether or not to bring an umbrella and I turn on the weather
00:24:55.160 and it's like, you know, monsoons and hurricanes and oh my God. And it's like, well, I'm being
00:25:01.940 underserved because I don't know if I need to bring an umbrella when I'm going down the street,
00:25:05.660 you know? And so we all, we all lose out. We all lose when we don't, when we have any kind
00:25:11.080 of media ecosystem that is biased towards sensationalism or lies or scams or clicks
00:25:16.720 and outrageousness rather than thoughtful, accurate, nuanced content.
00:25:21.500 And it pushes us to the extremes of either total belief or complete disbelief, because
00:25:27.700 either you buy into whatever, you know, Kool-Aid you're looking for, like whether that's Fox
00:25:32.560 News or, you know, some like extreme version of like CNN, like, you know, they all have
00:25:37.720 their biased reporting techniques, right?
00:25:40.400 But like, I think you either sort of hop on a bandwagon or you say, none of it's objective.
00:25:46.740 I don't believe anything.
00:25:48.240 And then that's not great either, because there are still things that should be believed.
00:25:51.500 So I do agree that it is a disservice to everybody because it creates a system in which it's really hard to tell truth from fiction.
00:25:59.580 In my day job, I do a lot of work combating conspiracy theories and things like that and trying to understand why people fall prey to them.
00:26:06.320 And a big part of it is just complete lack of trust in media institutions.
00:26:11.940 And I think that's a big reason why it's like I can understand why somebody would just lose all trust in media when that is the thing that fuels it.
00:26:20.520 Yeah, absolutely. And there is a lot of similarity. Obviously, I mean, stakes are just sort of it's apples and oranges when it comes to like someone like Anna and like masculine conspiracy theories.
00:26:31.240 But there is similarity in the way that both, I guess, like lie structures or manipulation techniques rely on framing arguments in a way that makes them almost irrefutable because they speak to these sort of like cryptic abstracts or things that you literally just can't disprove, even though they are false.
00:26:54.880 It's like a flawed framing device.
00:26:58.380 And I think it's really hard for people, especially if you're isolated, to keep your feet on the ground and understand what's happening if you're not familiar with that type of behavioral pattern.
00:27:11.900 After the disastrous trip to Marrakesh, Rachel was left with a $62,000 credit card bill that her credit card company eventually forgave.
00:27:19.880 But before that, Rachel struggled to pay rent and took loans from loved ones to cover bills to get by.
00:27:26.280 She eventually published her book about what she learned from her relationship with Anna, called My Friend Anna,
00:27:31.180 and sold the rights to develop her story for television to Lena Dunham at HBO.
00:27:36.240 Rachel takes a lot of criticism for, quote, profiting off of her relationship to Anna.
00:27:41.580 So I wanted to go back to something that you mentioned, which is that you sometimes take criticism for the fact that you, you know,
00:27:47.580 published a book about your experiences, you've written about your experiences. I interviewed
00:27:51.820 Amanda Knox, the exoneree, you probably know who she is. And something that she said in that 0.98
00:27:57.080 interview that I will never forget is that, you know, she's often criticized for making money,
00:28:02.640 you know, writing books about what happened to her. And, you know, however, producers, filmmakers,
00:28:08.340 writers, they make a lot of money retelling sometimes like a really harmful, deeply fictionalized
00:28:14.800 account of something that like sort of happened around her but like it's always like deeply
00:28:20.420 deeply fictionalized and something that she said was that it's apparently everyone else is allowed
00:28:26.180 to profit off of something that happened to me except for me everybody else can make money off
00:28:30.860 of my story but me and I guess you know why do you think this is you know I I guess I should say a
00:28:37.780 side note which is that if I lost a lot of money anybody who wanted to pay me to tell the story of
00:28:44.760 what happened to me to recoup my expenses, I would absolutely say yes. And I think that most people
00:28:49.800 would, but I feel that we have this expectation where victims are kind of expected to be kind of
00:28:54.660 holier than now. Meanwhile, the people who harmed them, it's like they can do whatever they can make
00:29:00.660 money, however. And so I think like, why do you think that comes from? Um, um, I mean, first of
00:29:06.560 all, I do completely agree with you. It often feels like the victims are on trial more so than
00:29:11.160 the criminals uh and also like there's this odd thing that i've realized the word victim is
00:29:18.120 has so much uh like packed into the connotations around the word the word it's like people think
00:29:25.740 as soon as you're no longer in debt or as soon as you've been made hold no matter how hard you
00:29:30.760 had to work to actually become okay you're not a victim anymore like you're now you know and
00:29:36.740 someone who's exploiting a situation if you, you know, keep moving forward or if you're seen to
00:29:41.660 succeed. And it's like, what is a victim? Like, does a victim, what does a victim look like?
00:29:46.520 I've had so many people reach out to me on social media to say, you don't look like a victim.
00:29:51.260 And I think that is such a loaded, odd thing to say to somebody. Like, saying that you were the
00:29:56.520 victim of a crime is not a request for pity. It's a request for acknowledgement of a wrong that was
00:30:02.560 committed it you know it is not like I'm still stuck in this like stalled state in perpetuity
00:30:09.240 it's like this happened and that's a fact doesn't matter what you do afterwards to be okay you know
00:30:16.080 to to repair the damage to find a way out of it like that is really not relevant um but I I think
00:30:24.600 there there are a lot of things that are distracting especially when these stories get
00:30:28.440 retold through the lens of media or entertainment people tend to fixate on the whistles and bells
00:30:33.300 and the flashy trips and the money um and they hold that I think the jury did the same thing
00:30:40.240 they sort of hold that lens up and say well you know looking at the net gain you were doing this
00:30:47.860 before Anna now you're doing this you came out okay therefore nope the crime didn't happen it's
00:30:54.460 like wait so you're saying I was too good at you know finding like fighting tooth and nail to find
00:31:00.820 a way forward like therefore it didn't happen like what why do I think it happens I think it's
00:31:08.060 really easy for people to hold on to really simplified recaps of something that was actually
00:31:13.560 very complex and nuanced and of course looking back red flags look like this like very tidy
00:31:19.040 pattern but when you're living through something where you're dealing with a master manipulator
00:31:23.580 you know there's time between these these things that might have tipped you off to trouble ahead
00:31:30.280 there's there's a there's an actual relationship between real life people and everything is much
00:31:36.880 grayer than it appears in hindsight yeah it's so funny because I feel like a lot of people
00:31:43.340 I've seen and I saw like I guess this idea of you know well while that was happening
00:31:49.680 she definitely wanted to go to Morocco 0.99
00:31:51.480 or she definitely wanted this. 0.99
00:31:52.520 And it's like, who gives a shit? 0.99
00:31:54.220 Like, it just seems so like picking apart. 0.99
00:31:57.080 It feels very victim blaming.
00:31:58.880 It's very convenient.
00:32:00.580 And I think people want to look for a reason
00:32:03.340 to explain why something bad has happened to somebody.
00:32:06.460 You know, especially if it is not like,
00:32:09.000 you know, death, death.
00:32:10.860 Like, you know, when it seems like someone's come out okay,
00:32:14.320 then it's like, okay, we all have like carte blanche
00:32:16.880 to just sit here and talk about why you deserve
00:32:19.560 it and you know at the end of the day like it's everybody wants to be understood like it stinks
00:32:25.940 to be misunderstood and it seems to have things framed in a way that's not true especially when
00:32:31.920 they're so personal and so many people are forming opinions about you from so little information and
00:32:37.820 flawed information um but at the end of the day like everybody looks at a story like this which
00:32:44.820 you know is not a news story it's like a tale as old as time it's just in a in a modern uh
00:32:51.160 iteration of it but you people look at it and they project um their under like they they come
00:32:56.200 away with an understanding of it based on their own life experiences and if it's important for
00:33:00.940 people to think if it looks too good to be true it probably is or you know don't get sucked into
00:33:06.880 materialism or like you know everybody looks at it and thinks these things but i think that's
00:33:12.300 actually more telling of their own life experiences than it is necessarily of mine. Like, have I asked
00:33:18.100 myself those questions? Of course I have. Like if I hadn't, I think, you know, it's really important
00:33:22.720 to look at, that's why I wrote a, wrote, I guess, to start and I wrote what turned into the book,
00:33:27.800 but it was so that I could frame, you know, piece together this like narrative of experience that I
00:33:32.860 lived through, look at it, try to like dig into it, understand what happened, what to make of it,
00:33:38.140 like why it happened and and how to learn heal and move forward something that you said you said
00:33:43.760 people want an explanation for why this happened to you I think what they're actually looking for
00:33:48.160 is an explanation for why this would never happen to them I think it's about them right and I mean
00:33:54.800 absolutely as they don't even know me and and like they're even if even if someone did meet me
00:34:00.760 through this experience this is something that happened it was a friendship I knew her for a
00:34:04.360 year. We were close friends for about three months, three brief months. Like she never bought
00:34:09.140 me clothes. She never bought me shoes. She never bought like, did I work out with her? Yes. Did
00:34:14.780 she pay for some dinners? Yes. Did she invite me on this crazy vacation? A hundred percent. But 0.92
00:34:19.260 to say that anybody understands someone else's entire values, like value system and personality
00:34:28.100 and character through like a few months of what is a you know 30 some odd year life with
00:34:36.900 so many more important like and like I don't know telling things but any it's just life is weird
00:34:44.180 huh life is weird I I gotta say I love this is kind of a side note I love your perspective on
00:34:51.140 this I feel like if this happened to me I guess I guess you know you were saying earlier how people
00:34:55.840 don't really see the work involved in getting you to a place where you're like, oh, this is behind
00:35:00.140 me. I'm speaking about it now, not because I want to relitigate what happened, like the minutiae of
00:35:05.260 our relationship, but because I want to ask these like thoughtful questions about what it says about
00:35:09.940 our culture and all of that. You really strike me as someone who was like, you know, I know we don't
00:35:14.680 see that work, but where you are today, it just seems like you're, I really appreciate your
00:35:18.880 perspective of where you're at right now. I really appreciate you like acknowledging or
00:35:23.240 understanding that because it's very hard you know like even I guess being a photo producer is
00:35:28.040 much the same way it's like if you're doing it well nobody pays attention to to how it happened
00:35:32.560 or why it's happening in this way but like it's I mean it's irritating except that like there's
00:35:38.640 nothing I can do people who are want to be wrong or it's going to be wrong but like when people
00:35:43.420 are like oh you just want the spotlight or oh you just want attention it's like I have turned down
00:35:48.680 so many more things than I have said yes to. This is a spotlight that I did not want. I have done
00:35:55.120 the best I could with something that was very negative. And I've done the best I could to make
00:36:00.060 it into something positive, not just for myself, but ideally for others who may have gone through
00:36:05.160 the same thing or to prevent others from going through the same thing. But you're like, thank
00:36:10.980 you. You're completely right. My very specific and clear objective as to why I'm still talking
00:36:17.020 today does, it really is about this spotlight that I didn't want. And I thought very hard about
00:36:25.260 whether or not to just sort of like lie low, not comment to the Netflix thing came out and just
00:36:29.880 like not say anything at all. But I recognize the value of attention. And I recognize the fact that
00:36:37.840 whether or not I choose to engage with it, there would be this attention coming my way. And it
00:36:43.200 felt like there are so many really important causes in the world that need attention. There's
00:36:47.480 so many important issues, even relating to this specifically, that can't get people to pay
00:36:52.860 attention to them. So I really wanted to like yield the time towards asking questions. And then
00:36:58.740 ideally, I mean, like finding people like you or finding a way to sort of redirect the spotlight
00:37:05.260 towards activation partners who can speak to these issues in a thoughtful way and make people
00:37:11.700 think a little harder or differently about something that on the surface just seems so
00:37:17.200 sort of frivolous. Our attention has value. And it's also, we only have so much of it. And so
00:37:22.840 when lies and outrageousness are amplified to get our attention, what's not getting our attention?
00:37:30.320 What important issues are just going overlooked because of that? Exactly. And that's, I think,
00:37:35.180 that's that's so right it's like you know do I watch bad tv of course I do do I eat junk food
00:37:42.300 of course I do like it's not to say don't do it it's just to be mindful that if that's all you do
00:37:48.520 like that really will inform the health of your life like like you know when you are paying
00:37:56.880 attention to these things that are designed to suck up your attention that are designed to make
00:38:01.400 you want more of them. They're addicting. You are not paying attention to something else. You are not,
00:38:06.760 you know, necessarily having the autonomy you may think you have over the direction of,
00:38:14.760 of your, you know, purpose. I definitely know what you mean. More after a quick break.
00:38:22.080 Transcription by CastingWords
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00:39:34.300 This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters,
00:39:40.720 pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse.
00:39:45.960 I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having.
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00:39:57.460 From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table.
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00:40:20.480 Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:40:26.420 See you between the pages.
00:40:28.520 When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months.
00:40:34.300 I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them.
00:40:40.840 I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files.
00:40:44.460 I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, 0.96
00:40:49.880 shut up, don't say anything.
00:40:52.640 Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable. 0.98
00:40:56.760 I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me.
00:41:01.520 I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed,
00:41:06.280 and I just started screaming.
00:41:08.600 They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.
00:41:13.060 But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.
00:41:16.520 They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive.
00:41:20.120 Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:41:28.800 I know firsthand that navigating our connected digital lives also comes with navigating all kinds of complicated issues.
00:41:35.800 Like, for instance, what do you do if you were going through a depressive episode
00:41:39.440 and completely stopped answering emails?
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00:42:19.480 Let's get right back into it.
00:42:21.580 So you can probably tell that I did not really enjoy the Netflix show Inventing Anna.
00:42:26.880 And one of my biggest issues with it is the way that it frames Anna's crimes
00:42:30.220 with a kind of girl-boss-hustle mentality.
00:42:33.640 That she came to this country as an immigrant with nothing, 1.00
00:42:36.540 and that if she did maybe do a little lying and scamming here or there, 0.88
00:42:40.360 it was only in pursuit of building something that she truly believed in.
00:42:44.520 After all, isn't that the American dream?
00:42:47.640 Over on another scammer story, Hulu's The Dropout,
00:42:51.600 which chronicles the story of Elizabeth Holmes,
00:42:54.320 Former CEO of Theranos, a blood testing company that turned out to be a total scam,
00:42:59.560 actually does a pretty good job of showing how empty, not to mention dangerous,
00:43:03.340 it can be when scamming and lying is rebranded as vision or leadership.
00:43:09.240 One of the questions I did have for you is that the Inventing Anna show does this,
00:43:14.320 but I've also seen it kind of glimmers of it in other scammers and just sort of in the media in general.
00:43:20.360 this idea of like scamming and lying kind of being rebranded as hustling or trying to achieve
00:43:27.100 the american dream or worse girl bossing i you know i i get i i completely like logistically
00:43:33.340 understand why that's how it's framed or why it's how it's reframed but and it's such an easy
00:43:38.540 narrative but i you know i think it's kind of harmful to reframe stealing from people and
00:43:44.500 lying from people as hustling and girl bossing and leadership and i guess my question is like
00:43:49.500 What are your thoughts about that? Have you seen this and what do you think about it?
00:43:52.060 Yeah, I think it's lazy. I just I think it's lazy. And I do think it does. It does do damage
00:43:58.880 to the reality. You know, it's so backwards to to attempt to make something about like classism,
00:44:07.240 racism, sexism, and then to frame it in a way that is promoting someone who couldn't care less
00:44:15.340 about those issues unless they're serving their own agenda like that is such a disservice to to
00:44:21.860 people who are actually working to read you know to to explore and explore these issues and create
00:44:29.160 positive change in ways that are actually meaningful and substantive especially in in the
00:44:34.520 past I don't even know how many years I guess like 10 years or so maybe less like these these
00:44:41.860 sort of catch all buzzwords like like feminism or like um it's grief there's a performative
00:44:49.640 activism that that features words that have become trendy and and and like missions that
00:44:56.700 have become trendy and i think shows like this have kind of glommed on to that i told you i uh
00:45:02.760 watched the finale of the show on hulu the dropout about elizabeth holmes you know the 0.97
00:45:08.120 serenos scam lady there was a time in feminism where like a woman like a woman like making money 1.00
00:45:15.620 that was feminism i do think there's a kind of it's sort of a it's a sort of like 1.00
00:45:20.640 era of feminism i'm not proud of where yeah if you were just a woman who was make like out for 0.99
00:45:28.300 herself and making money yeah that was seen as like a feminist win and we didn't really ask a 1.00
00:45:32.980 lot of questions about are you harming people are you you know like like we didn't really ask a lot
00:45:37.840 of questions and I think that I kind of see this era kind of maybe coming to a close I hope but
00:45:44.040 I think that that era really allowed for women to be lauded as feminist icons for doing things that
00:45:52.700 actually hurt other people at their own expense. I don't think the answer to chauvinism is a form
00:45:58.940 of feminism that mirrors the same thing like that reverses that that negative way of being like 1.00
00:46:07.260 I do think sometimes pendulums swing too far before they kind of find their their middle and
00:46:12.940 it seems like that's what happened it's like well you did this for so long therefore like
00:46:17.200 it's my time to do it and we should celebrate the fact that I'm doing it um
00:46:22.100 it's I think it's it's hard sometimes to see that when you're in it and when it's a reaction
00:46:28.660 rather than like uh like it's it's reactive rather than proactive right so it's it's like
00:46:35.660 finding a way to exist as a woman in reaction to to what men have done wrong rather than just
00:46:40.300 finding a way to exist as a woman um I don't have solutions but I see the trend as well and yeah I
00:46:48.100 guess one thing related to the Hulu show but I think that show actually strikes me as I mean
00:46:54.800 obviously what she did does not strike me as something that was done well but the show I I
00:46:59.280 thought did a good job, actually, of dramatizing real life events, because they framed her in a
00:47:07.940 way that felt very true to the actual sequencing of what happened. Like I read Bad Blood by John
00:47:14.180 Carey, and it felt like, you know, it followed a fact pattern, and it framed her not as someone
00:47:21.560 that everybody was, I mean, you saw how she was celebrated, but that was true to the way that it
00:47:26.840 happened in real life it was very true to the to the mixed reactions she received and I thought
00:47:32.520 Amanda Seyfried did an amazing job of not of like gleefully sort of relishing the like the shtick of
00:47:39.560 the con but just in framing this sort of very misguided probably like psychologically unhealthy
00:47:45.960 person who like just kind of uh lacked a certain like human ship that allowed her to understand
00:47:54.580 and the importance of her decision-making on real lives.
00:48:00.100 It just was such a foil for me when I watched that
00:48:04.200 versus what I had seen in Inventing Anna, 0.98
00:48:06.080 which really just looked like something that had been made by people
00:48:10.380 who really bought into what Anna was selling.
00:48:14.380 Oh, my gosh.
00:48:15.720 So I am happy to hear you say this.
00:48:17.540 I felt the exact, first of all, Inventing Anna,
00:48:20.560 all of the issues that you brought up with it, yes,
00:48:22.920 but also just like was a slog to watch like I wanted to watch it before I talked to you
00:48:28.360 and literally my partner was like I feel like you've been watching this show for
00:48:31.560 a decade and I was like you and me both but just like wasn't an entertaining show
00:48:35.680 and I guess having that having like I felt the dropout was different because it had empathy
00:48:41.960 for the people who were harmed right like you saw these people who were you know had cancer and were
00:48:46.900 involved in these blood these blood trials you know it had empathy for the whistleblowers who
00:48:51.980 risked so much of their of their selves to come forward i felt like it was a show that managed to
00:48:59.140 demonstrate the kind of seductive you know cult of personality around a scammer without falling
00:49:08.160 prey to it and inventing anna was exactly the opposite it was done yeah it was done so
00:49:13.140 thoughtfully it had such depth to it because yeah of course there are people who like
00:49:18.040 hopped on the bandwagon and celebrated her like it was just the full range of people who were made to
00:49:24.940 to read like real life people you know I think Inventing Anna flattened everybody and there's
00:49:32.360 a way that can be done in like a show like Gossip Girl or a show that is meant to be and in some
00:49:38.440 ways I guess this is but meant to be about materialism and superficiality but but to
00:49:43.600 reduce something like this where real real crimes were committed real people's lives were impacted
00:49:48.240 it wasn't just these like faceless things they're people who lose jobs they're people who obviously
00:49:52.600 or not obviously if it were obvious that would wouldn't be a problem but there are people who
00:49:56.560 weren't included in the court you know the court case she definitely committed so many offenses
00:50:02.300 that that harmed real life people so i think to flatten something like that into this like very
00:50:07.700 frivolous like fun glossy slog of a tv show full stop I don't know dot dot dot yeah I mean it's
00:50:15.920 there were times where I was like are you meant to be rooting for Anna in this show and then
00:50:19.500 I think the richest part is at the end where the biggest crime the show seems to suggest has been
00:50:26.480 committed is the character that shares your same name uh she's like like Neff is like you're a bad
00:50:33.420 friend and it's like well Anna went to jail like come on like I know I get I mean and people really
00:50:41.840 believe all that is fact like you were like she bankrolled you for two years and like I know
00:50:48.420 better than to feed the trolls on the internet like it's not my job to to like educate people
00:50:53.880 about like what I like the truth is out there if anybody wants to look for it but like I didn't
00:50:59.140 even know her that long and she did nothing like uh but yeah so to have have it framed as though
00:51:05.760 like where's the loyalty it's like this is someone i you know we were not best friends i
00:51:10.620 knew her for and also look what she did look look at the pattern of her behavior at what point
00:51:15.420 what why are you suggesting people who are in these like manipulative relationships be they
00:51:21.760 friendships or whatever like that that they are doing something wrong by choosing to leave
00:51:27.220 something that is so harmful like that's bizarre that's like that's a very bizarre thing to say
00:51:33.720 also the show rearranged it as though I had been reimbursed before the trial and that I like
00:51:38.680 kept the secret of my involvement with her arrest like like or kept that a secret like
00:51:43.740 didn't happen I was protected two years after Marrakesh after the trial concluded I didn't
00:51:50.360 keep my involvement in the sting some kind of like grand secret I wasn't ashamed of it but
00:51:56.120 I wasn't that close with like Neff or Casey. You know, I like them. I don't I have nothing negative to say. It's like fine. Everybody can look back and see things through their lenses. And that's what it is. But we weren't in touch. It's not like I owed people explanations. I was out more than I made any. They were not left in any kind of like debt or like there was no ongoing relationship there.
00:52:20.960 So to suggest that by not reaching out to say, hello, this is what I have done.
00:52:26.880 And that's just weird.
00:52:29.320 It doesn't make any sense.
00:52:30.880 Yeah.
00:52:31.140 And I think people understand the way these relationships and acquaintanceships work in their own lives.
00:52:37.940 And it's like, of course, that would be that you wouldn't owe these people anything or you wouldn't owe like, you know.
00:52:42.980 But when it's someone else and that the minutiae of those relationships are like projected for everyone to pick apart, suddenly it's like, oh, well, why would she do this? Doesn't she have loyalty? And it's like, well, calm down. Think about how this would actually go down if it was you. Like we all understand that in our own lives. But when it's somebody else, I think it's like different.
00:53:02.960 yeah evidently and I understand people don't tune into shows like this to really think
00:53:08.680 very analytically it's mostly about just getting a good laugh at other people's expense and like
00:53:13.280 I you know I do too it's fine like it's I'm not I certainly can't like hate on people for being
00:53:19.000 human like that's how this works I just I think that the frivolity of it does conceal something
00:53:26.580 that is a bigger picture problem as I have said which is why I figure if I'm stuck in this
00:53:32.080 dumpster fire anyway, I might as well try and send up a smoke signal about red flags that I know
00:53:40.980 a little too well from firsthand experience. Yeah. Speaking of your firsthand experience,
00:53:46.880 one of the last questions I have is like, what has it just been like for you, Rachel,
00:53:51.120 the person going through this, getting the social media trolls, getting people who
00:53:55.420 have maybe been misled about what happened from the television show? What has it been like to
00:54:01.740 deal with that on online? Yeah. Uh, I mean, it's, it's definitely not easy, but I'm mindful of the,
00:54:12.280 like, I'm, I'm mindful of my, my, my privilege and my luck just to have like such supportive
00:54:20.300 family and friends to have an awareness, uh, of exactly what it is that is happening. You know,
00:54:26.760 part of it, I learned the hard way just through gaslighting with Anna to begin with. And now
00:54:31.520 through what I've learned in looking back at what happened looking, you know, at, like, I guess,
00:54:38.740 I mean, writing the book helped me a lot just in terms of sort of looking at the pattern of behavior
00:54:43.480 as a pattern rather than like this, when you're in a relationship like that, it's really hard to
00:54:47.680 see anything as black and white because it's not, life is gray. But looking back, things seem so
00:54:51.940 much clearer to me. So I'm grateful to have had people who believe me, like a platform to speak
00:54:57.700 from the opportunity to speak, which all that is to say, it's hard. But part of the reason I'm
00:55:06.180 speaking up about it is because I think that the structure of the Netflix show or this broader
00:55:11.240 pattern that's happening, it does a disservice to people who don't have that ability to understand
00:55:17.200 what's happening to them, who might not get to hear stories like this because people are ashamed
00:55:21.420 where they're scared of the the victim blaming which is completely fair it's not it's I mean
00:55:27.040 it's it's wild um and it you know I can have my feet on the ground and my head on my shoulders
00:55:32.760 and if I sit there and read that for longer than maybe like 10 minutes like it even if you know
00:55:39.780 that it you know it's it's actually not about you it doesn't feel good to have that kind of energy
00:55:44.440 coming like I mean that sounds so woo woo but like that kind of hostility coming at you like
00:55:49.360 it's like death by paper cuts. Like you can be the strongest rock in the water, but like
00:55:52.960 if it keeps running, like you're going to get worn down. Um, so it's hard, but I recognize that
00:56:00.180 it's harder, so much harder for so many other people. And, uh, yeah, the internet can be pretty
00:56:07.020 nasty. We've talked a lot about how the dangers that come when we give our, when we willingly
00:56:13.200 give our attention away to liars and scammers and people who are outrageous and extreme um do you
00:56:20.940 ever see a situation where things like nuance thoughtfulness um honest accurate content will be
00:56:29.440 amplified over that kind of extremism and and lies do you think that we're this is just it forever or
00:56:35.820 do you see do you see a change coming um I mean as evidenced by past behavior I am kind of a
00:56:45.700 willful optimist through and through and that is just who I am so I always hope for that you know
00:56:52.380 um I do think the damage done by what you just said like the the the pattern what I'm trying to
00:57:02.720 say is the truth will out and and it's one thing to think the pattern of um celebrating these
00:57:11.080 individuals does do harm that is and will be visible until there is a a movement in the
00:57:19.140 opposite direction so i i think we've already seen that like from like like me too forward where
00:57:26.100 people are starting to pay attention to things in a different way and actually attempt to hold
00:57:31.280 outlets and individuals to account. I just think it's in very specific arenas thus far that that
00:57:38.520 seems to be happening. And I think people like to, to sort of pretend that things they do for
00:57:45.580 entertainment don't touch on the same subjects or don't have the same impact or seriousness.
00:57:52.300 And that to me is, that's the slippery slope.
00:57:57.920 I hope that people will recognize these things are not separate.
00:58:03.480 They're inextricably linked to the way that we as a culture celebrate people and form our beliefs.
00:58:13.580 That's really smart.
00:58:18.740 Got a story about an interesting thing in tech or just want to say hi?
00:58:22.300 You can reach us at hello at tangody.com.
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00:58:28.200 There Are No Girls on the Internet was created by me, Bridget Todd.
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