Under the Influence (with Jo Piazza) - ADHD Help for Women on Social Media： The Good and the Bad

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00:00:35.220 Hello, hello, hello. Joe here. I'm so happy to have you here today. I have been up since

00:00:43.020 five this morning because I just got back from Milwaukee, where I did a ton of Sicilian

00:00:48.640 inheritance events. I hung out with my in-laws. I lost terribly at a cannoli eating contest.

00:00:56.220 In my defense, these cannolis were like the size of a chubby toddler's arm. Like a whole toddler

00:01:04.740 arm. And cannoli are not conducive to being eaten in bulk. But I lost very badly. I only ate one and

00:01:14.020 a half cannoli. And I felt ashamed. I felt ashamed as a Sicilian American. I just maybe, maybe I

00:01:21.660 shouldn't be allowed to write about Sicily anymore. I mean, I hope not. I hope, because, you know,

00:01:27.480 I do want to write that sequel to The Sicilian Inheritance. But alas, but alas, eating all of

00:01:35.060 the cannolis has really launched what I'm calling Hot Mom Summer. I'm looking hot right now. Looking

00:01:42.240 hot with all the cannoli in my belly. But that's not what we're talking about today. We have a much

00:01:49.720 more serious topic. A friend of mine was recently diagnosed with ADHD as a 45-year-old woman.

00:01:57.260 As she was explaining the diagnosis to me, she started crying. And she said to me,

00:02:03.100 I felt like my brain was broken my entire life and no one cared and no one listened to me and

00:02:09.280 everyone just thought I was scattered and messy. And now I know that I'm not broken. That was huge

00:02:16.620 for her. You know, she thought there was something wrong with her for her entire life. When the fact

00:02:22.500 is that more and more women and girls are being diagnosed with ADHD than ever before. I was also

00:02:29.300 forwarded an article by one of you the other day that is calling for more research into ADHD for

00:02:35.300 women and girls. And it said something that really stuck with me. It said, research specifically

00:02:40.780 devoted to girls and women with ADHD is not only an issue of equity, but a life or death issue for

00:02:48.380 some girls and women. Female ADHD isn't male ADHD light. If anything, research indicates that ADHD

00:02:56.700 may be even more impairing for women than it is for men. Yeah, and I've just been thinking about

00:03:05.160 that ever since I read it. And of course more research needs to be done, as more research

00:03:10.200 needs to be done on just about everything involving women. But, but, but, but, as more

00:03:16.900 and more women are finally being diagnosed with ADHD, entire cottage industries are springing up

00:03:24.640 to treat them and talk to them. And of course, there are plenty of influencers.

00:03:32.000 So today we are going to talk to Meredith Carter. Meredith has more than 170,000 followers

00:03:39.060 on her ADHD-driven Instagram account, and she is now also an ADHD coach.

00:03:46.000 But what does that mean?

00:03:49.300 What are the qualifications? 0.93

00:03:51.720 And who can we trust as so many women go looking for answers about ADHD online?

00:03:58.740 Meredith and I are going to talk about all of it.

00:04:00.940 hi i'm so happy to have you here today i have a lot of questions about adhd i feel like we're

00:04:14.060 seeing a lot more women these days being diagnosed with adhd and being diagnosed after their daughters

00:04:21.580 get diagnosed that's what happened to you right yes uh my daughter was diagnosed with adhd several

00:04:29.060 years ago. And the process for her was very long. We went through several evaluations and really

00:04:37.360 had to dive into a lot of info. But from the very beginning of navigating that process with her,

00:04:45.620 I started seeing myself in the questions that were being asked of me about my daughter.

00:04:51.380 And through that process, really had a lot of light bulbs go off that not only does my daughter

00:04:58.940 have ADHD. I do as well. What are some of those questions? I mean, look, I think about this all

00:05:06.460 the time. I'm curious if I have ADHD. I have not been able to find time to go to a doctor to talk

00:05:12.540 about it. And so I do the next best thing. I just have people on my podcast. What were some of the

00:05:17.480 big revelations for you? I think one of the biggest revelations for me was understanding

00:05:24.360 that ADHD was about so much more than what it sounds like in the name. Attention deficit

00:05:31.740 hyperactivity disorder paints a really poor picture of what ADHD actually is. So let's

00:05:39.860 start with hyperactivity. I had a cousin growing up that had extreme hyperactivity, couldn't stay

00:05:47.640 in his chair just was that typical boy that you picture having ADHD in the 80s. I didn't know that

00:05:56.740 hyperactivity could also look like talking super quickly. I didn't know that my habit of like

00:06:05.840 bouncing my leg and like never being able to sit normal in a chair, like I didn't fall out of my

00:06:11.580 chair, but I always wanted to like cross the leg or change positions constantly. I didn't realize

00:06:16.680 that was hyperactivity showing up. I also didn't realize that hyperactivity could be internal.

00:06:23.440 A lot of people with ADHD have like bouncing thoughts and like thoughts that kind of come

00:06:29.160 quickly and go quickly. And through the process of my daughter, it became abundantly clear that

00:06:35.320 hyperactivity was about so much more than just that physical manifestation that we think of all

00:06:40.300 the time. Yeah, because I think for so long, and again, this is yet another one of the cultural

00:06:46.260 stereotypes of things that exist in the world. I thought of just an overactive little boy.

00:06:54.200 Right. I think a lot of people think that too. So your daughter was diagnosed,

00:07:00.680 you were diagnosed, and after that, you took it a step further and actually became an ADHD coach.

00:07:07.820 What is that? So an ADHD coach is a life coach, basically, that is working with clients through

00:07:16.100 an ADHD lens. So they are helping clients find solution and take action towards goals

00:07:24.800 or systems they want to implement in their life. But they are working through understanding

00:07:31.400 the client's neurodiversity. And what that really looks like is understanding that some of the

00:07:38.840 strategies and skills that we've been taught all our life and all the self-help books that are out

00:07:44.700 there don't quite work for people with ADHD. We have to go through different avenues to find

00:07:51.200 ideas that work with their brain. So that kind of sums it up. Coaches do all kinds of different

00:07:58.820 things these days. As you probably know, it's an unregulated industry. So specifically if we're

00:08:05.540 thinking of ADHD coaching in its purest form, we're working with clients one-on-one or within

00:08:11.220 groups to work towards goals and build skills. Yeah, and we talk about this all the time on

00:08:17.540 the podcast. The world of coaching feels like the wild, wild west, right? Like, who is qualified

00:08:24.080 to be a coach? How did you reconcile that when you decided to do this?

00:08:32.040 Yeah, so it was really important for me that I had the appropriate training to go into coaching.

00:08:37.320 um as you know i could have you know opened up an instagram account and just called myself a coach

00:08:43.000 you know everyone everyone could just legally you could just open up an instagram account

00:08:47.940 i i am a coach i think about it all the time i'm like i know i'm like all right uh what could i be

00:08:55.520 a coach in right and so i didn't want to go that route yeah hey i can be a coach of bullshittery

00:09:03.260 Yeah. And those coaches exist. It was important to me that I truly felt grounded in my skills to help the people that I was seeking to help. I actually have a background in corporate training and employee coaching.

00:09:20.560 So I was doing coaching in a different capacity before I got into ADHD coaching, but I ended

00:09:29.400 up enrolling in a course that was a prerequisite to a longer-term ADHD-specific coaching program,

00:09:37.920 really because I couldn't find a book I was really connecting with to help me understand

00:09:42.640 what ADHD meant for me and my daughter.

00:09:44.880 I was really struggling to find that resource, so I thought a course might help me with just

00:09:49.520 my own life and how to mentor my daughter and after taking those prerequisites and like

00:09:55.440 you know seeing the impact of those that information that I learned I started working

00:10:02.100 with a coach myself and it became clear very quickly I was already doing so much coaching

00:10:07.860 in my job that this is a way I could pivot my skill set into something that could really make

00:10:13.860 a huge impact. So I did go through an entire coaching program. The program itself that I did,

00:10:20.600 it's called ADCA. It's highly respected in the ADHD world. And it's like a six-month program.

00:10:28.400 So it's not like you're doing a certification on a weekend type thing. There's a lot involved.

00:10:33.780 And I did that training prior to becoming a coach. So, you know, the value listeners might have

00:10:40.920 about knowing this is that there are coaching programs out there and you just want to vet that

00:10:46.280 person you're working with. There's probably ways to be qualified to do this type of coaching that

00:10:51.300 don't necessarily mean you have to do a specific program, but you do want to kind of know how that

00:10:57.720 coach got there and why they're qualified to work with you. I know, but is it rude if someone says

00:11:03.240 what makes you a coach? No, I love it when people ask me. I don't know. I mean, I think it depends

00:11:09.320 on how they phrase it right like there are times when you um know people like me might have

00:11:16.200 skepticism about the industry or um just don't like all coaches or something like that and

00:11:22.040 they're asking for for that reason but like you can usually just you know be confident and why

00:11:28.220 you're a coach and the skills you have to get there um I don't find it rude I think that as

00:11:34.020 long as people are truly asking to learn versus asking to like start a debate or something

00:11:39.120 I think it's really important that you understand that the professionals you want to work with are, you know, qualified to be working with you.

00:11:47.620 It's a sensitive topic.

00:11:49.340 It really is a sensitive topic, you know, and it's it's one of those corners of mental health that I think is getting a lot of interest on social media right now.

00:12:00.660 You have more than 100,000 followers that that you're talking to on your Instagram account.

00:12:06.860 And why do you think people are so hungry, especially women, for information about ADHD right now?

00:12:14.640 I think it's just a accumulation of so many things.

00:12:19.340 I definitely think that the patriarchy is like probably the biggest one.

00:12:24.680 So many of us that are women that have grown up years ago with, you know, people really looking at ADHD as only that one stereotype.

00:12:36.860 um we weren't diagnosed as kids so you don't develop adhd as an adult if you are diagnosed

00:12:43.740 as adult it's because you were missed in childhood um so that that is one thing that i think with the

00:12:50.520 social media boom not everyone understands um oftentimes there's talk about the pandemic

00:12:56.320 and how diagnosis rates uh kind of spiked during that time and a lot of that was we were spending

00:13:04.220 more time on social media we were being exposed to new things and that was also a time for for

00:13:10.960 women especially where we have might have intuitively built systems to kind of correct

00:13:17.920 some of the struggles we had with ADHD but during the pandemic a lot of those systems fell apart 0.98

00:13:24.040 because our overall load was just crushing right so we may have you know kind of had that that veil

00:13:31.360 lifted that even though other people thought we were doing okay for years we really weren't doing 0.53

00:13:36.060 okay we were just appearing that way um yeah and i think that women are very good at just appearing

00:13:43.040 okay when we are not okay right yes adhd women especially um because the things we're not okay

00:13:52.880 at are things that people will probably really judge us for right um a lot of times we are

00:13:59.940 struggling to keep up our home we're struggling with our time management and things that we should

00:14:06.820 just be able to do because society tells us you know a good woman knows how to do those things

00:14:11.640 and so we find ways to appear to the outside world that we're not struggling oftentimes this 0.94

00:14:18.660 looks like the woman who if you walked into her house um her kitchen looks great there's like no

00:14:25.000 clutter around it all. But if you go to help yourself to a beverage and you go to grab a 0.98

00:14:30.880 glass, she's like diving in front of you to make sure you don't open that cabinet because everything 0.89

00:14:35.080 is shoved in there in the last minute. So we call that masking in the ADHD world. We get really good 1.00

00:14:42.540 at, and a lot of times, correcting for behaviors and overcorrecting for what we perceive as

00:14:50.280 shortcomings, but are really symptoms of our neurodiversity.

00:14:54.800 Right, right, right. I have so many questions for you. We are going to take a really quick break.

00:14:59.600 And when we get back, I want to dive a little bit into what the world of ADHD influencers

00:15:05.340 looks like online. Awesome. Ready for it. Okay.

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00:15:47.260 And we are back. I have to say that I don't know why, I don't know why, but lately I have

00:15:55.060 been bombarded with what I'm going to call ADHD influencers. And it may be because my phone

00:16:02.880 is listening to me we I mean we know it's listening to me but I have I've been making a joke on some

00:16:09.740 of my book events where people are like how do you get so many things done and I'm like it's

00:16:15.100 undiagnosed ADHD which I mean am I am I allowed to make jokes like that anymore I don't know I

00:16:20.000 don't know what I can what I can make a joke about and what I can't um I'm not offended I think that

00:16:25.760 the adhd jokes i think most of the time are received well because people with adhd tend

00:16:33.580 to be really funny it's a way we like seek interest our brains are interest driven so we

00:16:38.120 oftentimes develop really fun senses of humor i think the only time um i'm offended is when

00:16:44.680 um it's a joke that's like dismissing that adhd is real or something like that if that makes sense

00:16:50.080 that totally yeah of course that makes sense um but but so because i've been thank you that makes

00:16:54.640 me feel better about my terrible off-color humor. Because I've been saying that out loud, I think

00:16:59.860 I'm getting served a lot of ADHD influencer content. And it feels like a world. It feels

00:17:07.460 like a whole world out there of ADHD influencers. What are you seeing? Yeah, so I have been creating

00:17:14.540 content on Instagram since early 2001. So I wasn't in that very first wave of people talking about

00:17:22.480 ADHD on the internet, but I was pretty close to that. So I've seen it evolve actually quite a bit

00:17:28.860 over the last couple of years. And definitely your phone is listening to you. It's definitely

00:17:34.900 going to be serving you that up. But there is a whole movement, I feel like, in terms of

00:17:41.780 redefining what ADHD looks like, redefining how we live our lives with ADHD. And I think social

00:17:51.180 media is a huge part of that um it's brought a ton of awareness but it's also brought you know

00:17:57.440 misinformation and things like that too so it's tricky but uh definitely when I started back in

00:18:03.480 2021 I didn't ever intend to become a creator as a huge part of my work uh but the more I started

00:18:13.760 speaking about ADHD as a way to you know build my practice as a coach uh the more I was realizing

00:18:20.720 There is like a huge need for adult women, especially to feel seen in this type of content, to find community with other people.

00:18:31.960 There's a huge comfort in understanding that all these things you've been struggling with are because, you know, you're a bad person and there really is a reason for this.

00:18:42.180 And I also think it's brought a lot of hope that there's different ways of doing things that can help you live better with ADHD.

00:18:50.620 So, yeah, it is everywhere.

00:18:52.020 And I would say it's mostly a good thing, but there's a dark side, too.

00:18:56.600 Yeah, one of the things that I think about a lot is because we live in a country with a broken health care system.

00:19:03.920 And I'm joking, but not joking when I say I would love to see if I have an ADHD diagnosis.

00:19:11.620 But the idea of making doctor's appointments breaks my brain.

00:19:14.660 and navigating the whole medical system, seeing if someone is in network, you know,

00:19:20.880 all of it, all of it. And I'm concerned that a lot of people are like me and seeking information

00:19:27.320 on social media. Do you have people reaching out to you as if you are a doctor just because it is

00:19:32.560 so hard to talk to an actual doctor? Yes, that actually is something that I have to be very

00:19:39.420 careful with with how I respond because that assumption does get made. I also have people

00:19:45.900 ask like kind of therapy related questions and oftentimes they'll have clients that want to work

00:19:50.700 with me that really it's a better fit to work with a therapist at this time. It is inaccessible

00:19:57.800 for a lot of people to get a diagnosis. There's the irony that all of those things you mentioned

00:20:04.540 like the insurance and all of the executive functions necessary to find a provider and

00:20:12.880 actually get to that appointment in the first place are very difficult with for people with

00:20:17.180 ADHD. And then we also are struggling with in America and other countries have different issues.

00:20:24.720 But here we also still have a large stigma around ADHD. So you might find yourself landing in the

00:20:31.240 office of a provider that doesn't even really believe you. So there's that to navigate as well.

00:20:37.100 There's also long waits in some places and high costs. So because of all those factors,

00:20:45.320 people are looking for that information and support on the internet. And as someone that's

00:20:52.980 speaking about this openly, I have to very clearly know what my scope is in terms of what I do and

00:20:59.760 what I don't do, if that makes sense. Yes. Yes. It makes so much sense. And I'm curious about how

00:21:04.840 you set those boundaries for yourself. You're like, what will I talk about and what won't I

00:21:08.280 talk about? What did you decide? For me, it's pretty personal. There are coaches that will

00:21:14.960 talk about things that are healthcare related, like medications and things like that. I rarely

00:21:22.280 will talk about that except for from the lens of like, here are questions that might be helpful to

00:21:28.880 ask your provider. Because I think that I'm not a doctor. And while I do feel that I know a lot

00:21:35.620 on that topic, that is a better conversation to have, you know, with a healthcare professional.

00:21:41.820 I definitely have a pretty strong understanding of what lands in the lap of, you know,

00:21:51.160 therapy versus coaching. That's something that is highly stressed in the coaching program that I did.

00:21:56.700 so i feel very comfortable with that um i think it's really just important to know what you don't

00:22:02.960 know and know when and be able to say that right a lot of times uh when people put us in kind of

00:22:09.460 this expert space we think we have to be an expert on every single facet of our topic um but if we

00:22:17.560 are trying to like really speak on something that we're not skilled on we can do more harm than good

00:22:23.460 So I think knowing what you don't know and being willing to say that when you don't know that and refer out when necessary.

00:22:30.860 Yeah, I think that's so important. Again, there is a lot of misinformation on the social media, but there's also a lot of useful information and people telling their own stories about how they've gone through things, which for women, I think, is invaluable because for so long we haven't had a space to tell and share our stories.

00:22:54.740 You know, one of the things on your page that really caught my eye was talking about burnout and talking about the burnout that we experience as women, both with ADHD and without ADHD, but how it can be a lot worse when you do have ADHD.

00:23:14.160 Can you talk to me a little bit about that?

00:23:16.060 Yeah, so we have a huge societal problem with how we're set up as a society right now with burnout, right?

00:23:22.200 Lots of people are getting burned out because the expectations placed on us are just growing every day.

00:23:30.140 And that is true for everyone.

00:23:33.260 But for people with ADHD, we have this additional set of challenges that contribute to burnout.

00:23:41.660 One of the things that I think is really important for people with ADHD to understand is that our productivity cycles look completely different.

00:23:51.640 than a neurotypical person um we tend to be um sprinters and not marathoners so we might be able

00:24:02.140 to get hyper focused on something and get a ton done really quickly um but sprinters take

00:24:08.840 recovery time they're not just like going and doing another sprint right after that right

00:24:13.620 um we're not we're not marathoners where we're pacing ourselves slowly through a project

00:24:19.400 but the problem is we don't allow ourselves that recovery time we think that that sprint should be

00:24:25.580 our day-to-day productivity and that is just a recipe for burnout so that that is definitely I

00:24:33.420 think a huge factor is that our world isn't designed for that a lot of times it's the hours

00:24:41.060 we put on the clock not what we actually produce that is measured and that sets us up to not get

00:24:47.940 you know the time to recharge and fill up our bandwidth again yeah yeah and i think that's i

00:24:55.960 think that i think that's very real uh and something that we can all think about and it

00:25:02.740 and you and you get a lot of traction on the posts where you talk about the burnout um

00:25:08.620 which posts do you do you get the most attention for on instagram those burnout posts i think a

00:25:17.560 lot of us are feeling that um i also get a lot of traction when i talk about um shame and how

00:25:27.340 that unwinding shame can be one of the best things you can do to live a better life with adhd

00:25:33.680 so many of us are doing so many things just out of thinking we should um and we're blocking

00:25:41.900 ourselves from doing things in a way that might make better sense for our brain. And those, I

00:25:48.920 think, really resonate because so many of us have felt like we've been struggling for so long and

00:25:54.080 we had no idea why and we were the only ones. So those, I think, really help people feel seen and

00:25:59.560 really take a look at examining their thoughts on how they live their life. I talk about

00:26:07.820 perfectionism a lot. People don't always think like ADHD and perfectionism make a lot of sense

00:26:13.880 together, but they actually do. Many people and women, especially that were not diagnosed

00:26:19.440 in childhood, tend to develop perfectionistic tendencies as a way to like overcorrect for

00:26:27.820 things they were struggling with that they didn't want other people to know they were struggling

00:26:31.460 with. And we think it's something that helps us for a really long time, but it really actually

00:26:37.460 has a detrimental effect and can be a huge contributor to procrastination and other

00:26:44.840 things that hold us back in living our lives. Okay, we are going to take one more quick break

00:26:52.340 here. And when we get back, I want to talk a little bit about some of the shit that Meredith 0.98

00:26:56.260 gets for her content. You matched on Hinge, you're vibing, then her energy completely changes. 0.93

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00:27:53.660 Do you ever get trolled on your account from people who are like ADHD isn't real?

00:28:00.480 I don't as much as some people that I know.

00:28:02.880 um occasionally I get a comment like that um it usually only happens if something goes like

00:28:09.180 kind of viral uh the the following I've created is um actually shockingly supportive I was really

00:28:16.880 scared about showing up on social media because of that um and I don't experience it all of the

00:28:23.620 time it does happen but it doesn't happen in um like you know just massive quantities but yeah

00:28:30.520 those people are out there and they are commenting on posts that, especially those posts that get a

00:28:35.420 lot of attention. Yeah, I bet. Like, you know, it's just like, if you're a woman, you're damned

00:28:42.860 if you do and damned if you don't. Now, I'm curious, and I don't know if you can answer this, 0.99

00:28:47.360 but I'm going to throw the question out there anyway. Is there a difference between how women 1.00

00:28:51.100 are talking about ADHD on social media and how men are talking about it? Oh, that's an interesting

00:28:57.040 question. I don't think I have thought on that very much. Um, off the top of my head, I think

00:29:04.660 women are really talking about, um, the importance of understanding, uh, how different it is to

00:29:15.460 experience ADHD as a woman. Um, and that can be a lot of things, right? Like we're talking about

00:29:21.660 hormones. There's a lot of conversation right now about how we need more research to understand

00:29:27.800 how that hormonal impact shows up and how our symptoms manifest over a lifespan and even over

00:29:35.680 a month's time. There's a lot of women talking about just that mental load and how having ADHD 0.97

00:29:45.240 makes that mental load even heavier for us. I don't hear a lot of men talking about that piece

00:29:51.440 as much. A lot of the male creators, you know, they're all different. There are a few male

00:29:57.100 creators that I think are talking about the emotional regulation and that piece quite a bit,

00:30:00.980 but it tends to be more like strategy focused and ADHD hacks and things like that.

00:30:07.460 Yeah, I can see that. And, you know, you talk a lot about relationships and,

00:30:11.180 you know, I love one of the pieces that you did on how ADHD can impact relationships.

00:30:16.360 What is the impact there?

00:30:18.900 Oh, there's so many things that I think can impact relationships with ADHD. One of the major ones is that oftentimes with ADHD, we really get really interested in a relationship quickly. The ADHD brain is wired to seek interest.

00:30:38.620 It's a very curious brain.

00:30:40.700 That's how we're getting the dopamine that we're deficient in.

00:30:43.420 So we tend to really dive into a relationship quickly.

00:30:47.580 And then inevitably, that excitement fades.

00:30:52.440 So we need to be careful of that and find ways to, you know, if we're looking for a

00:30:57.540 longer term commitment as a friend or a partner, find ways to know that we have that tendency

00:31:03.980 and meet it.

00:31:04.600 um it also you know just everyday tasks I think um and communication can be hard for people with

00:31:13.140 ADHD oftentimes like our working memory isn't great so you may text us and we read it and we're

00:31:20.900 not in a position to respond um and so we don't have time to apply that information to later we're

00:31:26.920 like we've already forgotten about it and a partner might interpret that as we forgot about

00:31:31.640 them, or we didn't reply to them because we're not thinking about them. So that can be very

00:31:36.300 tricky. People with ADHD also can struggle with emotional dysregulation. So oftentimes,

00:31:45.460 you know, if we receive feedback in a relationship, we can feel very emotionally triggered. People

00:31:52.940 talk about something in the ADHD community that has been coined rejection sensitivity dysphoria,

00:31:59.360 uh oftenly referred to as rsd for sure for short and um that would be basically you get feedback

00:32:08.040 you have any type of perceived rejection and you get really dysregulated so that can have really

00:32:13.880 big consequences uh within a relationship one with just you know potentially having outbursts

00:32:20.240 we might also like you know anticipate that rejection so we might pull away from people

00:32:26.420 because we don't want to experience that feeling because we've experienced it so many times before

00:32:31.680 so that it really can show up in so many different ways within relationships.

00:32:39.320 For someone who is curious about ADHD, I think first you should always talk to a doctor even

00:32:47.720 though I won't because I don't want to make an appointment. How can I choose the good from the

00:32:53.220 bad on the instagrams yeah i think that you know looking at the bio kind of trying to understand

00:33:01.140 what's in there um looking at how information is positioned oftentimes you'll see reels like

00:33:08.520 all people with adhd hate big spoons right it's like you might have seen that one going viral

00:33:13.660 what is that wait no what what the hell does that mean yeah it's kind of a random one um there's

00:33:20.820 been a few reels that have gone viral like that the only reason i know is because my adhd daughter

00:33:24.440 showed it to me she's like i hate big spoons too why is this all so real right and so they're like

00:33:29.380 spoons that you eat what like like a big spoon like you don't want like the the tablespoon you

00:33:34.020 want to eat with like the smaller spoon and you refuse why um um so i i think that the information

00:33:42.940 is founded and it's maybe like a sensory thing like that big spoon doesn't feel right uh people

00:33:48.380 with ADHD often deal with, you know, overstimulation and things like that. And maybe that spoon is

00:33:55.200 rejected. And, you know, there's not necessarily an issue with reels like that existing if the

00:34:01.760 creator is tying it back into a concept and explaining why and not making it so general.

00:34:07.640 Like oftentimes, you know, like if they were saying, I hate big spoons, and I think it's

00:34:13.720 because of this ADHD topic or whatever that can be fine right but when it's like people with ADHD

00:34:21.680 all hate big spoons and no explanation people will see that and be like I hate big spoons too

00:34:26.660 I must have ADHD which there's a lot of reasons you might hate a big spoon so a lot of reasons

00:34:33.480 you might hate a big spoon there's a lot and I think that oftentimes you know that one's a kind

00:34:38.400 of a really random example, but it might be like, you know, I have a reel that I wrote about

00:34:44.800 how I like to spend time in my car to transition into the house. And if I had written that as if

00:34:55.200 you spend time in your car before transitioning, you probably have ADHD. I think that would be a 0.55

00:35:01.860 disservice because, you know, again, a lot of people might do that. In the reel that I created

00:35:07.180 about that i explain here are reasons that you might have this behavior that are symptoms of

00:35:13.120 adhd um versus just the behavior itself right um i've seen a lot of content that basically takes

00:35:23.380 a trait that is common with people with adhd and calls it a symptom and those two things are

00:35:29.740 different so different they are different but i'm sure that those reels get attention that's

00:35:35.040 the thing, right? Like the ones that are probably the worst misinformation are the ones that

00:35:40.640 Instagram tends to promote the most. Yeah, absolutely. Because of a lot of reasons,

00:35:45.080 right? There might be people on that reel trying to correct that, you know, misinformation. And

00:35:49.400 that's all, you know, interaction, which is what Instagram is looking at. So I think that, you

00:35:56.520 know, bringing back to the question you asked is what should I do? How should I vet creators? I

00:36:00.600 think that um really like examining the content you're seeing from a critical thinking lens is

00:36:06.740 super important say is this content actually over generalizing is it grounded in what seems to be

00:36:15.200 research um also sometimes too like is this content designed to be relatable there's nothing

00:36:21.860 wrong with that but like you know just because you relate to a lot of adhd things doesn't mean

00:36:27.660 you have ADHD. So knowing how to really think about that in terms of, you know, the not being

00:36:35.040 able to make that doctor's appointment or not having, not really being there yet. I think that

00:36:40.020 is the perfect time to, to be exploring content that is rooted in, you know, research and science

00:36:49.060 because it will prepare you to better advocate for yourself when, when, and if you do decide

00:36:56.700 to seek a diagnosis, right? A lot of times what we're up against is people are like, I think I

00:37:01.120 might have ADHD, but we don't really know what the diagnostic criteria is for ADHD. We don't know

00:37:08.540 how to relate what we're showing with back to those symptoms. So, you know, part of that

00:37:15.300 exploration process can happen on social media, but you have to be able to differentiate between,

00:37:22.780 you know what is typically a symptom and what is just kind of a behavior and how they relate

00:37:30.540 yes yes and yes i mean so like everything on the social medias just be both a curious and

00:37:38.840 a cautious follower and consumer right yeah absolutely um i i think that most of the time

00:37:47.540 most people can do that. I do think like there's not a huge danger in self-identifying as someone

00:37:55.020 with ADHD. You know, you're not taking any resources from anyone. Most people do self-identify

00:38:01.740 first. So I think that's okay. But if you have something else that's causing these symptoms or 0.99

00:38:08.220 you, you know, haven't really spoken to that provider, you might be barking up the wrong

00:38:15.420 tree right so it is important to understand that if you self-identify like that's okay and that's

00:38:21.680 where we start and that's like the first part but um there's other things that look like adhd too

00:38:27.440 so having that trained lens from a medical provider is like the definitive answer um and

00:38:33.780 you don't want to waste your time like consuming all of this for years uh before getting targeted

00:38:39.620 help. Seriously, for reals, for reals, for reals. All right. That was great. You answered all my

00:38:46.040 questions. Now, I mean, because I don't like Big Spoons, I probably don't have ADHD. Nope,

00:38:49.940 you don't have it. Sorry, you are not in the club, Jo. I have something else that I'm dealing with.

00:38:57.540 This has been wonderful. Tell people where they can find you if they're ADHD curious.

00:39:02.000 If you are ADHD curious, I show up regularly on Instagram. My handle is hummingbird underscore ADHD. And if you're looking to really explore, you've already been diagnosed or you're still kind of in that space where you're really trying to connect the information.

00:39:20.340 I have a book coming out August 27th called It All Makes Sense Now, where I explore these topics in a deeper way that I think will help people connect the dots.

00:39:34.080 And can they order that? Can people order that now?

00:39:36.300 They sure can. Pretty much anywhere you buy your books.

00:39:39.800 This is very exciting. Very exciting. You'll have to come back when the book is out and then we'll talk about more things.

00:39:45.080 Yeah, I would love that. There's so much to talk about.

00:39:47.380 There's so much to talk about. Wonderful. Thank you so much for being here today.

00:39:51.500 Thank you, Jo. It was nice to meet you.

00:39:55.040 And that is all we have for today. I loved talking to Meredith about the good and the bad

00:40:00.120 of talking about things like ADHD on social media. And I'm also glad that she was so honest about

00:40:06.640 what makes her an actual coach, because it's just something that we don't ask nearly enough.

00:40:12.660 why are you qualified to do this thing? I mean, I'm totally open to anyone asking me

00:40:19.980 why I'm qualified to host a podcast. And the answer is, I don't fucking know. I don't know. 0.97

00:40:26.680 Anyway, thank you for listening. If you love us, leave us a review in all of the review places,

00:40:32.300 tell your friends about us, and go buy 19 copies of The Sicilian Inheritance

00:40:36.340 for everyone that you know.

00:40:39.060 It is the book of the summer, people.

00:40:41.180 And, I mean, I don't know if I talk about it enough, 0.95

00:40:44.800 but it's got spicy cave sex. 0.99

00:40:47.480 Spicy cave sex on a beach. 1.00

00:40:51.500 Now go do something nice for yourself. 1.00

00:40:53.860 You deserve it.

00:41:06.340 We'll see you next time.

00:41:36.340 Thank you.

00:42:06.340 Thorpe. I, Hunter Harris, wrote and read the foreword. The audiobook's out now. Give it a listen.

Under the Influence (with Jo Piazza) - June 04, 2024

ADHD Help for Women on Social Media： The Good and the Bad

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