Under the Influence (with Jo Piazza) - October 20, 2023


Is Lex Delarosa's #TradWife Account Satire？ with Lex Delarosa

Soft Girls Don't Want Your Hustle with Steph McNeil What Do We Do With Mom Rage？ With Minna Dubin

Episode Stats


Length

34 minutes

Words per minute

190.48

Word count

6,607

Sentence count

160

Harmful content

Misogyny

14

sentences flagged

Toxicity

10

sentences flagged

Hate speech

14

sentences flagged


Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Hi. Hello. Earlier this week, we talked about an account run by a woman named Lex De La Rosa.
00:00:08.060 If you haven't stumbled on Lex's account, go look it up. Pause me. I'll be here when you get back.
00:00:15.360 Her profile reads, sharing moments from daily life, motherhood, and baking. In her videos,
00:00:22.500 she flounces about the house in a princess-inspired, puffy-sleeved dress, all while
00:00:28.160 preparing pumpkin pie dip and homemade vanilla maple syrup. It looks delicious. She has a full
00:00:35.340 face of makeup on, and she wears rollers in her hair as she prepares to homeschool her two children. 0.99
00:00:41.740 Lex has been featured in a lot of stories that talk about trad wives. And I got nearly a hundred 0.99
00:00:48.160 messages from all of you asking me about Lex's account. All of them were some version of,
00:00:55.340 is this real? She's faking it, right? This is satire, I think. Well, we're here to answer
00:01:05.020 that question. Actually, I'm not here to answer that question. Lex is here to answer that question
00:01:11.320 in her own words. The number one question is, is it satire? I know I see that question every
00:01:27.540 single day in my comment section and I don't have a straightforward answer for it because it's kind
00:01:34.620 of just it's evolved from me sharing you know my daily life which is how it started like I would
00:01:42.640 share you know what I get up to as a stay-at-home mom and I would get a lot of negative feedback for
00:01:48.800 it people saying like this is so unrealistic like this is not how people live and um I thought it
00:01:54.720 was so funny because I'm like well this is it is how I live and I don't feel like it's an outlandish
00:01:59.920 way to live i can see how people say like i can see that it's a lot of work and i can see how
00:02:05.140 it's not doable for most moms who you know you have to work outside of the house or everyone's
00:02:11.040 situation is different um but i would get so much negative feedback for it for something that i
00:02:17.160 thought was so you know like very mild wholesome content and the number one like when i first
00:02:24.560 started sharing the video is at first people would say oh wow you look miserable like why aren't you
00:02:29.160 smiling. Like you look like you hate your wife, like stuff like that. And so in my next few 0.98
00:02:34.320 videos, I would smile a little bit more. And then people still are like, well, why are you smiling
00:02:40.200 like that? Like, that's not normal. Stop smiling. And so I just kind of decided to roll with that.
00:02:45.660 And I'm like, you know what, if I'm, you know, just like having my normal resting face, people
00:02:50.620 are saying I look miserable. And if I'm smiling, people say that that's weird. So I'm just going
00:02:55.140 like do what i think looks nice my videos and i do share like my you know it's my real life and
00:03:03.460 um i can see why people think that it's satire but maybe i am like poking a little bit of fun
00:03:10.080 at myself of like this is how i live it but i'm just gonna like keep sharing it no matter like
00:03:15.120 even though people make fun of it or they think that it's silly and like get a kick out of it
00:03:19.800 i'm just gonna keep doing it and so i can see why people think that it's satire but it is also like
00:03:24.580 my authentic life there's some videos that are obvious that I'm like responding to negative
00:03:30.500 comments and kind of like making fun of those comments like I shared a video last week of like
00:03:35.560 oh celebrating my um my son's 42nd month of life you know and it's like obviously we're not we're
00:03:43.460 not having like a party and like doing that it's more like so like this is just funny to me and
00:03:48.800 people like got so riled up about the oh my 41 month old and so I was like well let me just make
00:03:54.300 a funny video and kind of like roll with that. And that's kind of been my strategy just on social
00:03:59.020 media. It's like I share my authentic life. And if people give me like material to like work with
00:04:03.600 and be like funny and like give like a funny response to, then I will do. Well, yes. And so
00:04:09.460 that video about your 42 month old, it's so funny because the social media detectives, I like to
00:04:16.540 call them, say things like, see, this is the tell. This is the tell. And I guess my response to that
00:04:23.460 is, can you be showing your authentic life and also have a sense of humor about it, right? It's
00:04:31.060 as if you have to be one thing or the other. You can't be funny about the absurdities of womanhood 1.00
00:04:38.880 and motherhood and also be showing your life as a stay-at-home mom and a traditional wife. Would 1.00
00:04:46.460 you call yourself a trad wife I don't give myself that label um but I can see how it is applicable
00:04:54.620 um I've done some interviews you know based around a trad wife lifestyle and I feel comfortable
00:05:01.360 like participating in those because I think like a lot of the points like do match with how we live
00:05:07.400 but I also don't give myself that label of like oh I'm a trad wife and like this is you know I
00:05:12.100 follow like these guidelines to like be a trad wife like I am just like we just kind of do things
00:05:17.940 the way that we do them and that aligned with some of the trad wife values but it's not so
00:05:23.460 like strict and you know such like a rigid I don't know I feel like the people that are like
00:05:30.200 dedicated like trad wife content creators like these are the rules that we follow in our house
00:05:35.340 and like these are like the way that we do things and it's like we do have certain ways that we do
00:05:40.460 things here, but it's not so like cut and dry, I guess. Right, right. Yeah, there do seem to be a
00:05:46.920 lot of rules around the quote unquote trad wife lifestyle. We've been talking about them on the
00:05:53.360 show all week and a lot, a lot, some listeners have thought that I've been conflating the trad
00:05:59.340 wife lifestyle and saying, oh, sometimes I do get worried about women that are completely
00:06:06.160 submissive to a husband with stay-at-home moms, which I think is a really hard job that women 1.00
00:06:12.300 should be paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for, like any male CEO of a company. But a lot 1.00
00:06:18.160 of the tradwives on social media do seem to have a lot of rules. What are some of the things in 1.00
00:06:24.080 your household that are similar to the tradwife lifestyle? And what are some of the ones that
00:06:29.280 are are maybe not similar to what we would see typical trad wives adhere to yeah so I think kind
00:06:37.180 of the way that the roles are set up in our house is are very traditional so before we even had
00:06:43.480 children my husband and I agreed like he would be the one to go to work and provide for the family
00:06:47.780 and I would stay home and take care of the home and take care of the kids and we were both very
00:06:52.220 like clear about like we like traditional gender roles like letting you know the man do like
00:06:58.780 you know not that work is like a man thing but you know like let him be the provider for the family
00:07:05.440 and let me be home and like that's just always been like a part of my nature like I'm very
00:07:11.640 I love like baking and cooking I love babies like that's just our two personality types so
00:07:17.960 I think that the way that we run our household is very child wife lifestyle um uh the ways that 1.00
00:07:25.800 it's not are this is just a common theme I've noticed when I hear other trad wives talk is like 1.00
00:07:32.140 very submissive to the husband and like I do things just to make my husband happy or like I 1.00
00:07:37.860 get dressed a certain way because I know that like that's what he likes and I ask him permission
00:07:41.780 before I leave the house or like do x y and z and we're not so much like that it's like if I'm gonna
00:07:47.600 go to the grocery store or go to the gym it's not like oh can I go do this it's like well this is
00:07:54.860 what i'm doing today and does this like work for your schedule like are you able to be home with
00:07:58.500 the kids it's more it's more like that not so i'm filing a request with my husband to like
00:08:05.040 change my hair or do you like this dress i'm wearing today or things like that it's much more
00:08:10.720 i'm my own person i can make my own decisions i can come and go and um yeah well and i think
00:08:18.360 that that that is my concern with showing this trad wife lifestyle and my concern is always what
00:08:25.700 are young young women taking in and for me feminism is always having the choice so do you 0.99
00:08:31.840 have the choice to stay at home with your kids do you have the choice to work and it's agency and
00:08:36.860 having a more equitable relationship uh and it's the submission that always gets me i keep saying
00:08:43.540 it i'm like it's the submission i don't understand the submission and every time i say it i think of
00:08:47.840 weird sexual thing. But I I think a lot of people then sometimes watch your videos and assume that
00:08:56.120 your husband likes it when you dress up in princessy dresses or does your hair a certain
00:09:02.200 way. And are you doing it for him or are you doing it for you? I do it 100 percent for me.
00:09:06.820 And it's you know, if you it's a bonus that he likes it, that he thinks that I'm pretty and he
00:09:11.280 likes the way that I dress like that's just, you know, the cherry on top. But I get up in the
00:09:15.460 morning and I like to look good for myself I like to look a certain way and wear certain things and
00:09:20.960 that's what makes me happy um and then he just you know appreciates that about me you know it's not
00:09:28.900 me changing who I am to fit his ideal of what he wanted you know a wife to look like right right
00:09:37.380 and I think that that can be a misconception right and people people will make assumptions
00:09:42.820 on social media and I've learned that I cannot like answer every single question of like
00:09:48.600 I'll get a comment like saying oh like you you must believe this like this must be the way that
00:09:53.900 you live your life and I can't address every single comment or every single assumption that
00:09:57.980 people make and so I just let people make their assumptions like they can think my life looks
00:10:02.760 however they want to in their head because you know I I know what my life looks like and I can
00:10:09.440 share things the way that I want to share them on social media. And even if every day I was coming
00:10:14.140 on there and clarifying things like, oh, like this person thinks that I'm living this way and
00:10:17.920 that's not totally true. Like, let me explain myself. That's not going to get me anywhere.
00:10:22.640 And it's not really beneficial to anyone because, you know, the next day someone's going to see a
00:10:28.120 different video and, you know, type comments and like think certain things. So I just let people
00:10:33.740 think what they're going to think. And I just do what makes me happy and share the things that I
00:10:38.040 want to share so yeah it will drive you crazy it's it's funny this week while i've been writing
00:10:44.040 a lot about traditional wives i've been trying to respond to every commenter that said oh my god you
00:10:49.740 must hate stay-at-home moms to try to say no of course i don't and i got in a dark place yesterday
00:10:55.200 i felt like shit constantly defending myself and also feeling bad that had i made someone else feel 0.98
00:11:01.560 bad the internet can be a rough place to talk about anything yeah with regard to women which 0.72
00:11:09.860 is why i wanted to have you on the show because when we have real conversations with real human
00:11:15.540 beings it's so much nicer than just people narking at each other in comment yeah yep and so much is
00:11:25.200 left unsaid and like the comment section or tones are misread and you know someone can leave a
00:11:30.540 comment and i can respond in an authentic way and they take it the wrong way or misunderstand what
00:11:35.060 i'm saying and it's just i just realized because early on this year this like the beginning of
00:11:40.460 this year is when i really started growing my social media accounts and i found myself like
00:11:45.120 in the comment section every single day like responding to people and being like well what
00:11:49.360 you think is wrong and trying to justify or explain myself every single day and it was
00:11:55.640 exhausting and i would make videos because i had the same concern of like well i don't want people
00:12:00.140 to think that um like moms that have nannies or have cleaners like that I think that that's wrong
00:12:06.400 because I don't think that's wrong and I would make a video like explaining that and then someone
00:12:10.560 would get in that comment section and find something negative to say and what I said trying
00:12:14.760 to explain myself and I'm like this is there is no winning here and I just need to like release
00:12:20.180 like this and just if I'm gonna put stuff out on the internet just anticipate that people are going
00:12:25.680 to be mad or disagree with it because you can never make everybody happy and like that's fine
00:12:31.440 as long as I can have like make peace with that then people can message me and say whatever they
00:12:36.700 want and that's not so much my problem to resolve because I know I'm not doing anything to go out
00:12:45.300 of my way and like hurt somebody's feelings or trying to be misunderstood you know what is some 0.93
00:12:51.540 of the craziest shit that people have said to you in comments there oh my god there's a lot of 0.92
00:12:56.700 comments there's a lot of comments i get emails i get dms and it varies like it varies from 0.99
00:13:03.400 someone poking light fun and you know making a funny comment that they think is going to make 0.98
00:13:09.380 everybody laugh if they see it to people saying like like oh i hope that you get murdered like
00:13:15.520 things like what yes it's like a very wide spectrum and I'm like I like those ones are
00:13:22.360 crazy to me because some people get genuinely so fired up and so angry and will write me these like
00:13:29.200 long long messages about I can't even read them all like when I get like a long like more than
00:13:35.640 two sentences long message and I can like tell that it's like angry I just don't even read it
00:13:40.360 and I just delete it or like block that person because it's just so confusing to me I'm like
00:13:45.480 how are you so fired up over I shared like a day in the life of like what like what I'm doing and
00:13:51.720 I'm baking and doing activities with my kids and you hate me and you want me to die like that's
00:13:57.600 crazy so I get a lot of that I get um I don't know yeah it just like varies a lot but that's
00:14:06.660 definitely like the most wild like the people that are genuine genuinely like angry with me and like
00:14:12.040 wish harm onto me yeah that's crazy to me and are those people usually women or men
00:14:18.040 sometimes it's hard to tell because a lot of the times when people say things like that it's from
00:14:23.180 a fake account with like a fake picture yeah but i will say i get a like most of my negative feedback
00:14:29.640 is from other women and then I do get a few men in my comment section that leave rude comments 0.58
00:14:37.400 and that's weird to me because I'm like what are you doing here why are you mad at me and how did
00:14:43.460 you even find my page I'm like a stay-at-home mom and it just doesn't make sense to me so but yes 0.99
00:14:49.340 the vast majority is other women yeah yeah I find that women are cruelest to other women
00:14:55.880 yeah online and yes and you know until when i first saw your account i couldn't tell if it 1.00
00:15:03.160 was satire either i even we we did a a sub stack asking if you were trolling all of us like is this
00:15:10.880 is this actually a gigantic comment on the state of motherhood and systemic brokenness in the world 0.99
00:15:17.320 and if it is you're a fucking genius lex 0.96
00:15:19.940 well i will say i'm not my account is not a troll account like so i i say it's a healthy mix of like 0.99
00:15:29.040 i if someone is being negative to me and like trying to troll me like i'm gonna troll you back
00:15:33.440 in like a funny way that everyone is gonna get a kick at them but like i do this is like my
00:15:38.740 authentic life and i'm not making fun of anyone like a lot of people think oh you're making fun
00:15:43.460 of like this creator or like oh i know who you're making fun of and i'm like i'm not making fun of
00:15:47.660 Like that's not the type of content I make. I don't do things to put other people down or like mock other creators because everyone can share like what they want. So that's like the biggest thing that I like I do like clearing up is like I'm not making fun of anyone and I'm not tearing down stay at home moms or making fun of like the perfect influencers. Like that's not what I'm doing with my content.
00:16:12.620 and i think people are very quick to assume that everyone is making fun of everyone
00:16:19.000 online yeah every that everything has to be mean when again i think i say this all the time
00:16:28.860 motherhood is hard no matter how you slice it it is hard if you are a mom who works and
00:16:35.100 has child care and you feel guilt and shame for that child care it is hard if you are
00:16:41.680 the CEO of your household and staying home with your children. None of it is easy. The world
00:16:47.300 doesn't make it easy. And we should be delighted seeing other models of motherhood. And instead,
00:16:54.180 we kind of rip them to shreds when they're not the model that is our model.
00:17:00.960 Right. Or something that seems like unattainable or another comment I get a lot is like, oh,
00:17:06.980 this is really toxic like this is so toxic to to put out there and let young women see and let
00:17:12.180 other moms see and that's confusing to me too because I'm never I never in my videos say like
00:17:18.320 this is how you're supposed to live and if you're not living up to this standard you're doing
00:17:22.860 something wrong I don't even talk in my videos like 99% of the time um and so a lot of it is
00:17:29.680 just like people in their own heads and they see something and then they create this own story in
00:17:35.760 their head to the point that they get mad at me and they're like why would you put this out there
00:17:39.580 because now I'm upset and I'm like that's not that's not on me like I'm not responsible for how
00:17:47.040 other adult like feel about what they see on the internet because if you're so like affected by
00:17:54.040 like what you're scrolling on Instagram and like you're seeing things and they make you feel bad
00:17:58.060 I think you just need to not be on social media or scrolling like that just like freely scrolling
00:18:04.380 and letting whatever's out there come to you, you know?
00:18:08.280 Yeah, one of the things Virginia Soulsmith says a lot
00:18:11.480 is that it's free to unfollow.
00:18:14.920 And I will say when I first started following influencers
00:18:18.600 about four years ago, when I had my second baby
00:18:21.720 and felt like my life was just a mess,
00:18:24.060 I was like, oh my God, my house is a mess.
00:18:26.000 I'm a mess.
00:18:27.260 Everything's a mess.
00:18:29.220 Influencers did make me feel bad.
00:18:32.500 I was like, oh my gosh,
00:18:33.560 maybe I'm doing this wrong. Or gosh, is there something wrong with me that I don't cook for
00:18:39.320 my family? I literally do HelloFresh for my family because I don't grocery shop. And I felt a lot of
00:18:45.820 shame until I realized that a lot of social media is also like looking at a magazine. I don't feel
00:18:51.500 bad when I look at Vogue. I don't feel bad when I look at Real Simple. So I shouldn't feel bad
00:18:56.120 looking at these images and videos from content creators. And I got to that place. But I do think
00:19:02.560 a lot of people do still feel shame because motherhood is just so loaded. Being a woman 0.99
00:19:06.800 is so loaded in the world and we all feel weird and bad about something. Yeah. And I can totally
00:19:12.180 relate to like seeing other content creators and feeling bad about what I'm seeing. Like in the
00:19:17.500 past, there's, you know, like when I was like a single woman or whatever, going through a hard
00:19:23.460 time in life and I would follow like these influencers that were married and had like a
00:19:28.160 beautiful family and it just looked so fun. And like that would make me feel bad about myself
00:19:31.980 because I was like, oh, well, why don't I have that yet?
00:19:33.960 And I would unfollow people because I'm like,
00:19:36.500 well, I don't want to see that
00:19:37.360 because it makes me feel like a certain way.
00:19:39.760 And that was like in no way on them.
00:19:43.020 Yeah, we choose.
00:19:43.920 We have agency.
00:19:45.020 We really do.
00:19:46.420 So you talked a little bit earlier about
00:19:49.020 you've really grown your page since the beginning of the year.
00:19:53.300 And your page, I looked back, it has transformed.
00:19:56.460 Is this now a business for you?
00:19:58.520 it is now and it has become that way um not unintentionally but it was never I wasn't
00:20:06.200 expecting this year to go the way that it went I've been on social media forever I've always
00:20:11.460 had Instagram I've had TikTok and I made videos and shared photos for a really really long time
00:20:18.420 with really no following it was just kind of you know my friends and family that would see it and
00:20:23.720 then you know a few people along the way would follow and it really was not until the beginning
00:20:29.360 of this year that I had videos start blowing up and opportunities come my way and it just felt
00:20:34.820 silly to not run with that just because I was already like I love making the videos that I do
00:20:40.940 I love sharing content it's like a creative outlet for me um and so that being coupled with
00:20:48.940 an opportunity to I guess grow a business I I don't call it a business but I guess in a way
00:20:55.800 it is like it does bring in income it felt silly to not just capitalize on that while I can you
00:21:02.300 know what I mean it would always be dumb to not take all the money the fact that these social
00:21:07.200 media companies exist and there are a lot of rich men at the helm of them if we can make money off
00:21:12.700 of it take all of the money take all of the cash is what I say all the time yes I would feel very
00:21:18.300 silly to not. So I've just I've just decided to go with it this year since it's something I was
00:21:23.240 already doing, something that was already making me happy. And yeah, it's been it's been really
00:21:28.580 great and a blessing for our family, for sure. Yeah. More cash is usually good when you're
00:21:35.200 trying to trying to raise kids. Do you think that the account started to blow up when you
00:21:41.820 started to focus more on the traditional values and the hashtag trad wife um well the thing about
00:21:48.580 the trad wife thing i never used the trad wife hashtag and i actually never heard that term
00:21:53.660 until um the daily mail reached out they wanted to do an interview for an article and there wasn't
00:22:00.020 really much information besides that they just wanted to do call and talk to me um so i did the
00:22:05.600 interview and then when the article came out the type the headline was like trad wife something
00:22:10.820 something and I was like what is a trad wife that was the first time I ever heard that term so I was
00:22:15.720 never intentionally trying to like worm my way into like the trad wife niche I just I think people
00:22:22.440 saw my content and they're like oh surely this is like a trad wife account um so then that article
00:22:30.120 came out and then I kind of got like stuck with that that label of trad wife so oh the trad wife
00:22:37.760 content is blowing up and if that does bring more people to your account and that's what you want
00:22:44.480 then good on you i think yeah i think it was maybe a combination of like me sharing like i just
00:22:52.300 happened to be like the content that i was already sharing coupled with the fact that the trad wife
00:22:56.540 content was really blowing up at the same time definitely helped um that's what i think so but
00:23:03.480 Yes, it was the first few videos that started getting traction was like me making bread from scratch and butter and jam and doing that.
00:23:13.200 And I put that out there and people were like, excuse me, what is this?
00:23:17.280 And that was like the first video that blew up.
00:23:19.480 And so I was like, oh, I do this all the time.
00:23:21.080 Like I can share 100 videos of the things that I make, you know, for my kids because it's fun for me and that's just what I enjoy doing.
00:23:27.960 And so I just like kept pumping those videos out.
00:23:30.820 and then you are and you are a trained chef right well I had a my own baking business for
00:23:37.120 a number of years um which I don't I don't run it anymore just because life got crazy after I had my
00:23:44.880 my second baby it just was not sustainable to do it all so but yes I have a background in
00:23:50.100 in baking so that definitely helped so it's a thing that you know how to do again unlike unlike
00:23:56.700 me. I do not consider myself a feminist because I can't cook. I legit can't cook shit. I'm just
00:24:02.040 bad. I'm good at other things. Well, HelloFresh is cooking. HelloFresh is so good. We do that
00:24:06.940 sometimes, too. HelloFresh is cooking. And what I really don't like is going to the grocery store
00:24:12.260 and they make it so they don't have to go to the grocery store. And I love them so much that we
00:24:16.080 talked to them and they became a sponsor of this show. So then you go. I know. I know. Everybody
00:24:21.860 is winning all right i have this i do have a very very important question for you the dresses
00:24:28.200 okay the puffy sleeve princess dresses yes how do you mother in them because i tried to wear
00:24:36.180 a dress to mother my three children alone this weekend while my husband was at a conference
00:24:41.540 saving the world and it broke it just broke in half how how do you how do you do that how do you
00:24:49.120 keep them so clean okay so i have two different types of dresses so the the puffy like truly
00:24:54.740 princessy ones like the chiffon and all the ruffles i don't wear those like during the day
00:25:00.120 kicking around with the kids like those ones are like my special dresses for like special occasions
00:25:05.240 that i will sometimes throw on for like a funny video to like you know when i'm like playing it
00:25:09.960 up and like responding to some negative comments just to like push the edge a little bit but then
00:25:14.620 the other ones that I have like that still do have the puppy sleeves they're just like
00:25:18.480 caught in dresses um so they come clean very easily and they're just comfortable for me to
00:25:24.540 wear like I'm not I don't like wearing jeans around the house like that's just a no I don't
00:25:30.640 like being like sucked in and restricted and then I am also you know filming during the day so I I
00:25:38.300 have to get dressed or you know I want to get dressed I guess I don't have to but I like getting
00:25:43.220 dressed and getting ready during the day and that's just what's comfortable and easy for me
00:25:47.740 to throw on quickly and be in when i'm kicking around the house so i mean i can't kick around
00:25:55.740 the house in a dress apparently apparently it is not working for me but it's working for you
00:26:01.040 you just need to find the right dress maybe maybe maybe or the or cleaner kids might be the thing
00:26:09.160 so what you're now that this this is becoming kind of an unexpected accidental business and
00:26:16.220 you you do have have money coming in have you and your husband talked about how you'll control
00:26:24.260 those finances since you had originally said oh he's gonna be the main breadwinner like what
00:26:29.960 conversations have you had about that um you know I've brought it up a few times um like seeing
00:26:36.480 like oh is there any like bills that we need help paying for because we do have like the extra money
00:26:42.460 coming in and he's declined every single time because I think that he sees that just like as
00:26:48.800 his role like that's you know what he does for the family you know he works and he's for the house
00:26:55.080 and like pays the bills and that's the way it's been for so many years that you know for him to
00:27:00.000 I think accept the offer from me to like take money it just like doesn't make sense because
00:27:04.900 he's like well I don't I don't need it and he just says just just save it just use it for
00:27:08.720 whatever you want to use it for so I just you know that's pretty much what I do like we just
00:27:14.160 save it it's nice to have like you know money tucked away um and then now I just do you know
00:27:20.700 if there's like random house projects that I want to do um I'll just like do that and like
00:27:26.360 use my own money or whatever so it's been very but I always do ask I'm like are you sure like
00:27:32.740 we don't, I don't need to like kick you some money for X, Y, and Z. And he's always a grind. So,
00:27:38.060 but you know, it's nice to like have it there just in case something happens and we do need it.
00:27:42.980 It is always nice to have it there. Always. It is. How do you model for your boys what kind of men
00:27:50.840 you want them to be? Do you want them to be breadwinners or equal partners or make that
00:27:55.500 kind of decision you know i don't i i don't want to like force a certain i guess like lifestyle
00:28:03.960 on them i don't want to be like well this is how you have to live your life when you grow up like
00:28:08.720 you have to like be the main provider and you have to live how dad and i live like that's not
00:28:13.820 my i don't know like i don't put a lot of emphasis on that they're so little like my
00:28:19.760 my oldest is 42 months just kidding he's 42 months how many months is that i can't do math
00:28:25.760 i can't do math no he's three and a half okay he's a baby he's a baby he's a baby and then
00:28:30.620 his little brother will be two in december so they're little babies and i just let them like
00:28:36.080 do the things that they enjoy i just want to foster like their own interests and not force
00:28:42.180 interests on them so right now they like doing what i do because they're home with me all day
00:28:48.040 So I'm in the kitchen. So they want to be in the kitchen cooking. And I don't want to say like this, like being in the kitchen and cooking is only for girls. Like you don't need to learn how to cook. I'm like, it's important for it. That's just a human skill to know how to like, you know, make yourself like a sandwich or like scramble your eggs or like cleaning. They love helping me with cleaning.
00:29:10.040 And I'm like, that's just a skill that people should know how to do.
00:29:13.740 Like, you should know how to whatever, vacuum the floor.
00:29:16.860 So they just like doing whatever I do in the house.
00:29:19.460 And I'm OK with that being like their focus.
00:29:22.600 I feel like I'm just, you know, just raising humans at this point, like teaching them just basic life skills.
00:29:30.120 Right, right.
00:29:30.740 And actually, well, and that's interesting because you do have on your account that you're homeschooling, but they're still babies, right?
00:29:38.320 So they're kind of they're just also kind of just in the home.
00:29:42.920 You're not teaching them school school yet, right?
00:29:45.840 We're not doing math and like things like that.
00:29:49.280 It's like a play based curriculum.
00:29:53.420 So it's a Waldorf curriculum and that is just like play based.
00:30:00.580 But it's nice that it's there's like planned activities and, you know, planned stories for the week.
00:30:06.200 and it's just very like organized and it just takes a little bit off of my plate of like
00:30:10.200 planning activities every single day for them and like going and getting the supplies it is a
00:30:16.600 homeschooling curriculum so that's why I call it that and that's another thing that like triggers
00:30:20.920 people but I'm like all right well I'm just gonna keep saying it because you guys will comment on it
00:30:26.280 and share it to your friends because I use the word homeschooling so they will indeed and you
00:30:31.620 know what at the end of the day if you are a person making money off your social media all
00:30:35.920 engagement is good engagement which sucks but it is true it's just the way that it works so i just
00:30:44.120 roll with it well and you had said in your one interview with the daily mail that you and your
00:30:51.040 husband did choose this kind of life because you had a different kind of life growing up could you
00:30:55.960 tell me a little bit about that yeah so I mean it wasn't not in a bad way it was just different
00:31:02.360 like both both of my parents worked um my siblings and I we went to public school and I don't know
00:31:10.540 it was just like different like I just feel like I I just wanted to do something different for my
00:31:16.560 kids like I had great parents I always had the things that I needed but I just wanted it to look
00:31:21.460 different for my boys like I just want to be around all the time like there were just like
00:31:25.180 definitely times in my childhood or like, um, you know, like middle school, high school that I was
00:31:30.800 putting myself in situations that I should not have been in. And it's because I just had too
00:31:35.100 much freedom. I think, I think, um, like just being out in the world and having like other
00:31:42.160 adults responsible for me, like the majority of the time and just being around, um, being around
00:31:48.540 a lot of different kids and not really having any control over that. Um, I just got scared when I
00:31:54.060 had kids of like thinking about them being in like situations that I was in and the way to
00:32:00.280 avoid that is just to I guess keep them close and just be more more present um not that my parents
00:32:09.960 weren't present in the daily mail they put kind of a negative spin on my parents and saying that
00:32:14.140 like I felt neglected and I I just want to clear the air and say I didn't feel neglected I just
00:32:19.860 want to do things differently so yeah and I think a lot of us want to do things differently my
00:32:25.940 parents were very checked out and I tried to be I think way more present you know I do all that I'm
00:32:32.780 a class mom and all of that stuff you grow up and you say oh I would have liked this as a kid and so
00:32:38.660 you just build on that and I think that's just I don't know I think that's being a good parent of
00:32:43.140 you want your kid's life to be better than yours and whatever hopefully so on and so forth and
00:32:49.020 everyone is just doing the best that they can to make sure everyone's good our our interview got
00:32:55.880 a little cut off here but i asked lex what she would say if there was just one thing that she
00:33:01.980 could broadcast out to the trolls who write nasty comments on her account keep commenting you're
00:33:07.140 welcome to stay i don't i don't usually block people i don't usually delete comments i'm like
00:33:11.080 you are free to say whatever you want to say um it's you know it's public content it's an open
00:33:17.740 in the comment section feel free to engage as much as you want but also like just don't let
00:33:23.280 things on the internet eat at you so much I think a lot of people just really let things get to them
00:33:29.680 and bother them and it's fine if you want to be a troll and like leave a comment but don't let
00:33:35.000 something that you see like innocent content online
00:33:38.060 grind your gears so much just relax a little bit you don't have to be so mean
00:33:47.740 And that is all we've got today. It's nice to talk to people in real life or, you know,
00:33:57.060 on real screens and not just typing comments at them. It's nice. It's really nice.
00:34:05.480 I was actually very surprised by my conversation with Lex. And the truth is that people will
00:34:11.580 always surprise you when you give them the chance. I truly believe that. I am now, I'm now
00:34:19.560 getting offline for the weekend. I recommend you do too. The Glynnis is coming here from New York
00:34:26.320 City, and we might just drink a bottle of wine, watch a lot of old Madonna music videos, and record
00:34:33.200 a tipsy episode for you from my couch. Get ready for it. Have a good one guys.