Under the Influence (with Jo Piazza) - Sunday Nice Things： Momplicated with Big Time Adulting

00:00:01.000 Hello, all. Happy Sunday. We've had a week over here. If you read my newsletter, you

00:00:09.060 know that I went to the Madonna concert and it was magical and all the things and I felt

00:00:15.420 massively, massively inspired to move on to my 40s and this new phase in my life because

00:00:22.560 look at Madonna. If she can do what she is doing at 65, I can do anything at 43.

00:00:28.800 So I get home on this Madonna high, and my kids have lice. They had lice. It's just, of course,

00:00:36.980 this is what the universe does to mothers. You feel good, you feel powerful, and there's bugs

00:00:43.440 in your kid's hair. Bugs. Yeah. But we dealt with it. We did all of the things that you're supposed

00:00:52.040 to do, and they are bug-free. The house seems to be bug-free. I am thankfully bug-free. That's

00:00:59.580 very important, because I thought that I was going to get it the worst of all of them, because I

00:01:04.120 always get all the things the worst of all of them. And we survived. We survived. It was fine.

00:01:11.000 And the rest of the week was fine. I even managed to write a little bit more of our new trad wife

00:01:18.340 thriller, our trad wife murder mystery, which I am releasing right now exclusively on our

00:01:25.400 sub stack, our newsletter over the influence. And I give it to you free when you preorder

00:01:30.840 the Sicilian inheritance, the book of the summer. Also, as my mom said, it's the best

00:01:36.660 book to get you out of your reading slump. She's been in a two year reading slump since

00:01:42.520 she finished Outlander. And this book got her back, back on the horse, back on the horse.

00:01:47.920 I don't even know if that's the right analogy, but it did. So give it a pre-order, and you'll

00:01:54.220 also get a bonus book, which is our Trad Wife Murder Mystery, which is freaky and weird and 0.99

00:02:01.100 hilarious and just a deep dive into the world of Trad Wives. Now today, as usual, we are bringing 1.00

00:02:09.680 you another podcast to tickle your ears. Today we have an episode of Mumplicated. Mumplicated.

00:02:16.640 That is a hard word to say, but once you say it, it is fun. It is fun to say. And it is with a

00:02:23.520 woman that I've become friends with on the social medias, Dana Phillips. In this episode, Dana is

00:02:29.240 joined by the hilarious Caitlin Murray, who is best known for her wickedly funny Instagram account,

00:02:35.940 Big Time Adulting. Now, I'm dying to have Caitlin on my show, but in the meantime,

00:02:42.340 time. Listen to her here on Momplicated. Dana and Caitlin tackle very important subjects like 0.99

00:02:48.980 vacationing with children, which is not a vacation. It is travel. Don't call it a vacation.

00:02:54.740 Give it a different word. Sick days and snow days and how terrible they are. And why it's

00:03:00.540 perfectly okay to not love the baby stage. I didn't. I'm so happy that my bonus baby is now

00:03:08.700 one, because she's yummy and delicious and she walks and talks and does things,

00:03:14.060 and I just like that better. And that's okay to say out loud. It is. Please enjoy this episode

00:03:19.700 of Momplicated while you do something nice for yourself today. Welcome back to Momplicated. This

00:03:27.600 is episode two. I've had quite a wild morning. I feel like I say that all the time, but I guess

00:03:36.200 that that's just most of my mornings are you know as a mom of three uh trying to get everyone where

00:03:43.500 they need to be it it kind of always seems to go in that direction we have a snow day today

00:03:49.660 which is interesting because it's actually i'm looking out the window and it's kind of it's

00:03:54.420 pretty clear and blue skies and yet we had school yesterday when i had was really thinking it would

00:04:00.900 be a snow day and was uh could have really used a snow day and we had school and then today

00:04:09.540 I really need my kids to be at school and we had a snow day such is life I also our coffee machine

00:04:18.140 broke we have one of those uh fancy coffee machines we've actually had it for years

00:04:24.460 and we do love it because I don't I don't go to Starbucks I don't go to any coffee places anymore

00:04:30.660 because it's just that much easier to get a good cup of coffee at home so I do love it until it 0.77

00:04:39.060 breaks and then you start to feel like the dumbest person in the world because you're like how 0.92

00:04:44.220 all right I need to take these beans and like how am I gonna get coffee out of out of this 0.96

00:04:50.760 um so it was it was sputtering out like a little bit of coffee so I've just kind of been

00:04:56.760 ripping shots of espresso or whatever else is coming out of that machine and I you know every

00:05:04.900 day usually have my normal like I'll have like two cups of coffee every morning any more than that

00:05:12.000 and I start to get kind of jittery and today I've definitely crossed that line I'm feeling

00:05:20.100 a little shaky right now um we also woke up to cat vomit on the carpet which is actually

00:05:29.220 unfortunately a little bit of foreshadowing uh regarding what we're going to be discussing

00:05:34.200 on the podcast today um yeah pets kids it's all it's all good i think these are these are the

00:05:45.460 days that I just really have to muster up all the humor that I can and you know not go wide as we

00:05:53.420 talked about on the last episode with my friend Lauren and just really lean into into the the

00:06:02.560 humor which is why I'm so excited to have the guest that we have here today Caitlin Murray

00:06:10.220 of Big Time Adulting, as you may know her on Instagram, host of the Big Time Adulting podcast,

00:06:16.240 author of the newsletter Soul Snacks, and my idol in motherhood and comedy. So, Caitlin,

00:06:22.600 I can't thank you enough for being here today. Oh, my God, Dana. I love you. That's so nice,

00:06:31.300 honestly. I have so enjoyed seeing your page. I don't know how I originally saw your page just

00:06:38.300 pop up into my feed I think it was one of those like suggested follows and it was something just

00:06:42.860 so relatable to me because our kids are such similar ages and um I was like oh my god yes

00:06:50.120 she's she's nailing this so funny love it well I mean the feeling is mutual um and you

00:06:58.300 I feel like everything that you share is so relatable but you do it so well with like

00:07:05.260 such a sense of humor like even because you have sick kids at home right now right I do I have one

00:07:11.040 home today and this is like day five because we've been we had like the three-day weekend and

00:07:17.160 then a snow day yesterday and now a sick kid at home today so I'm just I'm rolling in it I'm

00:07:24.060 rolling in these kids we yeah we also have a snow day today so luckily no sick kids but I will um

00:07:33.060 i i feel like after we had our third it hit me because he's got like a tummy thing right

00:07:41.140 yeah and after i had my third i was like i had the realization that we were a family of five

00:07:49.520 and at some point the stomach bug was gonna hit our house and i could possibly have three

00:07:53.900 children vomiting at once and that's now like my roman empire yeah it's such an overwhelming

00:08:00.580 situation when the stomach bug hits it oh god it's like a punch in the gut um and then you also

00:08:07.920 think that you're nauseous like all the time the second yes you know that you're like am i sick do

00:08:12.980 i have the stomach bug am i gonna puke yeah and i'll try to convince myself it's like that scene

00:08:17.980 from bridesmaids where she's like i'm not sick i'm hungry and i'm like yeah i just need a snack

00:08:23.080 i just haven't had enough to eat today surely that's it oh but yeah i feel like one of the

00:08:29.340 more like important milestones in parenting that we don't talk about is when you're like

00:08:34.440 youngest kid gets to an age where they actually can vomit in a place where you want the vomit to

00:08:39.920 go um I'm not there yet my youngest preferred place is still like directly on me but we're

00:08:47.220 correct I'm hopeful in the next year we'll get there yeah it's like when the next part of your

00:08:52.240 life begins kind of like when they can make it to the toilet with by vomiting what's really

00:08:57.220 absolutely yeah where I'm not sure I mean it's hit or miss like Luke a couple weeks ago we were

00:09:03.620 driving in the car and just out of nowhere everywhere all over himself in the car the

00:09:10.600 worst kind that's just yeah no we've had that too I have a kid who a car city kid and it's

00:09:16.460 it's a situation but yeah I feel like this is such a great example of how it's actually pretty

00:09:22.960 easy to paint like a picture of the negative sides of having kids I always talk about like

00:09:28.560 there's I I love being a mom and it's really is like my favorite thing that I've ever done

00:09:32.860 but I always find it hard to put the why into words but that because then on the flip side

00:09:40.100 I'm like all I have to do to paint a really negative picture of motherhood is tell you like

00:09:46.540 one vomiting story and I'm like well there you go like mission accomplished I feel like that stuff

00:09:52.440 So if you're talking to a fellow parent, it's not like even like we're laughing about it.

00:09:58.340 You know, it's not like you're even viewing that as a negative to a non-parent.

00:10:02.080 It probably sounds like horrific.

00:10:03.260 Like, oh, my God, I didn't think about that.

00:10:05.520 But as a parent, it's like that's not even the bad stuff.

00:10:09.420 That's just par for the course.

00:10:10.880 You know, it's just like things that happens in a day-to-day life as a parent.

00:10:16.520 Well, and it's funny that you say that because it's also why I feel like motherhood content,

00:10:21.940 like when we're talking about social media is like first and foremost for moms like right because

00:10:27.940 the good stuff's all implied like I can vent freely to you and like you still know that I

00:10:32.980 love my kid and I like I love being a mom but if you're on the outside looking into that stuff

00:10:38.400 you're picking a really different picture of motherhood and parenting so I'm always like if

00:10:43.100 you're on the fence about whether or not like you want to have kids don't get that information from

00:10:47.180 social media because yeah don't head don't head to your my my pages about motherhood no it's like

00:10:55.320 it's funny that you say that that it's for moms and and i agree that it is but and i think it is

00:11:00.460 coming around to also being for dads and something that dads yes are gripping more as yeah i should

00:11:06.860 have said for parents no i i don't think you're wrong necessarily like i think a lot of it is like

00:11:12.540 a mom-centric problem still um for a lot of families and people and certainly like of our

00:11:20.780 parents generation or something i don't think half of the dads would come close to understanding 1.00

00:11:25.940 the shit that we're talking about these days like right because women then just weren't saying 0.98

00:11:31.120 exactly no and now it is like we have well and and we talk about how the the we don't have much 1.00

00:11:39.680 of a village anymore in person. A lot of us don't. So it is like, thank God for the online

00:11:44.200 community. Yeah. I just use it as a place to bitch, you know? And I love that. I love that

00:11:50.720 because I feel seen in my bitching. But you do such a good job of sharing like the hard things

00:11:59.760 in this very honest, relatable way. But you also do a good job, I think, of keeping it light because

00:12:07.000 you use humor and like I said that's really what drew me to your account um and actually

00:12:14.380 on our first podcast episode uh I shared that my word of the year because I'm cheesy and I'm

00:12:21.520 a millennial so I have a word of the year and my word of the year is humor because I do find it to

00:12:27.040 be so necessary in parenting and life and um I'm assuming you feel the same but like have you

00:12:35.940 always been hilarious or did did trauma make you that way it's funny that people ask me that

00:12:43.060 question is if like you can just like grow funny pants or something like that right like later in

00:12:49.220 life or something no I think I've always been a little bit like goofy or funny or silly and like

00:12:53.740 to joke around and make jokes and like actually the more I think of it now because of what I'm

00:12:59.540 doing I wouldn't have like put myself into that like like it's kind of my job to be funny now

00:13:06.660 right but like I never would have thought of myself in that is that I don't take myself

00:13:12.020 seriously enough to be like yes I'm a professional humorist or something you know like professional

00:13:18.500 comedian uh but maybe I kind of am now I don't know uh yeah I think that it is true I mean I

00:13:29.020 think that if you if you look at one of my reels and it's not abundantly clear that i'm joking

00:13:33.500 then you're i don't know maybe you don't get the joke but right that that's like the main takeaway

00:13:40.560 obviously from what i say i do because even still at this point i get um a little self-conscious

00:13:49.160 from time to time um insecure about sharing the way that i do because of what you said like about

00:13:56.360 that whole silly disclaimer that we have to say how much we love our kids or how grateful we are

00:14:02.520 for our kids rather than it always being implied. But I never disclaim that. I kind of sort of try

00:14:09.380 to stay drunk. Right. Well, yeah, it's like that's that's part of the joke. And like, yeah,

00:14:15.760 there's always going to be those jerks in the comments who don't get it. And what are you 1.00

00:14:20.100 gonna do about it nothing yeah nothing they can who has the time yeah though i do i mean i i do

00:14:27.200 love like sliding into other people's comments and it's kind of like a guilty pleasure of mine

00:14:31.900 to uh like you'll you'll like come after a troll type yeah i love that i kind of live for that

00:14:37.800 about you i love that about i have a good time with it actually i was just um the other day i

00:14:44.040 was i was i let let the comments get the best of me on someone else's post and was kind of like

00:14:52.400 about to partake in this in this internet drama and it was the day before we were launching this

00:14:57.660 podcast and i was like i really can't get my account canceled right now like this would not

00:15:02.160 be good so i had to rein it in but but i do i know it and i think i do i you i do it with humor

00:15:10.740 because it is i feel i always like the best way to fight like ignorance and hate is with sarcasm

00:15:18.760 because they really don't know what to do with it no it's a fantastic weapon i agree i used to i

00:15:25.400 think i used to get sucked in a little bit more by the negative commentary like earlier on in my

00:15:31.160 account i would really let it like eat at me for like the day or whatever it was and i'd engage and

00:15:37.420 go back and forth and back and forth and and uh i i realized that that was sort of like sucking

00:15:44.040 a life out of right yeah you have to know your limit yeah so i really i really truly do my best

00:15:51.400 to just fully half of the time i think that they are legitimate like bot type comments yeah there's

00:15:58.900 some yeah absolutely yeah i'm like where is this person even is this even a real person yeah how

00:16:04.980 old are you? Yes. And yeah, like what planet were you born on? Right. Yeah. Another reason that I

00:16:11.880 was really happy to come across your account that we kind of touched on is because you you haven't

00:16:18.300 had like you haven't walked the easiest path in parenting. And I feel like that gives you a really

00:16:23.040 unique perspective that not many parents have. And for me, I'm like, you know, we have this

00:16:29.700 overabundance of parenting experts I feel like on social media now and three kids in especially I'm

00:16:35.720 like I don't want to hear from the experts all the time like I want to hear I want to hear from

00:16:39.940 Caitlin because you have faced one of the hardest things there is to face but then you still have

00:16:45.460 no problem being like guess what the day-to-day stuff is still hard and it's okay to say that it

00:16:52.060 is and it doesn't make you less grateful and it's it but it's also like easy for me to see that you

00:16:59.340 do obviously enjoy motherhood and have fun with it and aren't afraid to like lean into the good parts

00:17:05.600 yeah thanks I um I think that after having been through what we went through with my son which is

00:17:13.740 that he had leukemia and that was a really long treacherous treatment process um and thank god

00:17:20.280 he's fine now um and he's okay and and honestly if it had not gone that way i'm not sure i would

00:17:27.740 have be doing this or have the funny bone that i feel that i do still but right um i don't know

00:17:36.060 i think that i felt at that point after having gone through that that i could really say whatever

00:17:43.160 i felt like i wanted to say um and with all the thoughts that i had been thinking all along since

00:17:48.540 like my first baby you know uh but i think that it gave me like the ability to really

00:17:55.440 give zero fucks about what anyone would say about what i was saying uh right because i could stand

00:18:01.960 behind sort of the experience of walking down a tough road for what it meant to be a mom of young

00:18:10.340 kids and have that happen right our family so right no absolutely um like kind of yeah it's

00:18:18.260 like makes you a little bit invincible you're like just try me i've been through the worst

00:18:24.020 um uh something else that you share you were just talking about on instagram that i really

00:18:29.640 appreciated was your take on skiing with kids and like ski trips um because we we also ski

00:18:37.500 with our kids and i don't like to complain about it because skiing with your children is obviously

00:18:44.180 something that you do to yourself um you don't like magically end up on a mountain

00:18:49.120 on slippery sticks with kids accidentally but it really is just this whole other level of chaos 0.99

00:18:57.440 and even just like vacationing with kids or day trips with kids like it is just a shit show 0.90

00:19:04.980 and i i feel like again you do you did a great job of talking about it and when you're talking 0.94

00:19:14.680 about um you know your vacation you were on not long ago i think and how that experience was like

00:19:23.640 you're like we're supposed to be having a good time but like i just want to know where the 0.64

00:19:28.580 goddamn coffee filters are like yes it's Airbnb so it is like you walk that fine line like you 0.96

00:19:36.940 because obviously doing these things with your family is a privilege right like it's a thing to 0.99

00:19:41.880 be able to fund a ski trip or go away on vacation with your entire family so you do feel kind of 0.99

00:19:49.000 like an asshole complaining about you know a look like a luxury privileged experience with your 0.99

00:19:56.640 family um but at the same time sometimes i'm like god it would have been a lot fucking easier if we 1.00

00:20:03.800 just stayed home like right i don't know why we did this to ourselves right but um yeah it's an

00:20:11.260 away game you know it's like it's the same it's the same amount it's more work you got to pack

00:20:16.780 all your stuff yep playing on a different court you're not used to the surface like you gotta

00:20:20.880 right out there well and i always say like they take yeah taking vacations with kids or trips with

00:20:26.680 kids is a very like concentrated parenting experience so like you take all the hard

00:20:31.000 parts of parenting and now you're going to cram them all into like a week or whatever it is

00:20:34.900 and like there's more togetherness there's usually less sleep there's like the financial component

00:20:42.420 and all like the time spent planning at stake and then there's this expectation that it's going to

00:20:47.560 be relaxing and incredible um and like parenting I feel like sometimes it is but also like

00:20:55.840 parenting a lot of it is challenging yeah and and I think going into it just knowing that it was

00:21:03.540 actually um my friend Lauren who was on last week taught me the term retrospective fun which is now

00:21:11.960 something like it's become kind of my mantra it's where things like you know it doesn't seem that

00:21:17.340 great in the moment but when you look back you're like oh that wasn't so bad yeah it's one of those

00:21:25.100 things like you're taking the family photo and it's like everybody smile you know like right

00:21:29.980 like we're supposed to be having fun and uh it's it's always like it's it's home away from it's

00:21:37.960 not it's there's no different like vibe or anything it's going to be the same amount of

00:21:42.560 hassle more rather than it is there's it doesn't go away just because you're on vacation obviously

00:21:49.100 right and well and I have actually we've lived in a vacation town for eight years now so I see

00:21:56.960 the behind the scenes and so I have I am very lucky to know on a deep level that no one is

00:22:06.580 having as much fun as they seem to be in their Facebook pictures like I it's actually quite

00:22:13.500 entertaining because I do feel like I just have this behind the scenes look at all these people

00:22:18.300 on vacation and I always tell people like everyone's arguing okay just so just so we're all clear

00:22:24.600 everyone is arguing about where they should park where they should go to dinner what time they

00:22:29.160 should go to dinner everybody is hangry because anywhere they try to go to dinner it's a two hour

00:22:34.480 plus weight that they weren't expecting so I'm like it's not just it's not just you because I

00:22:41.600 feel like you do we see the pictures and we feel like someone else has this big everybody else

00:22:46.420 seems to have this figured out in a way that I clearly do not and I'm like no I've also been a

00:22:52.040 photographer in a vacation town so I got to see um yeah I mean I have a lot of stories like

00:22:59.700 you could cut the tension with a knife on a lot of those shoots yeah you never would have guessed

00:23:05.920 though I know like by the look of the picture the highlight reel that we had on Instagram

00:23:10.440 I know I think it's one of those things I'm not sure like it's one of the what came first the

00:23:15.060 chicken or the egg I don't know if I kind of if I already realized that very much so prior to

00:23:21.560 talking about it um on a public forum or if I'm just so overly aware of the realities now 0.99

00:23:29.600 because of how many people kind of like say oh my god thank you or this was such a shit show with 0.77

00:23:35.400 my family i completely understand or so funny this is what you know and then you just see the 0.94

00:23:40.220 comments rolling in of people commiserating with you and um knowing that you're really sharing in

00:23:47.940 these like shit show experiences so right it is just i i do laugh a little because i'll go back

00:23:56.940 to like i have a personal instagram page and i'll go flip over there and like look at my friends 0.95

00:24:01.660 and their kids and everything and you do see you know what you see is all happy smiling families

00:24:09.960 which is great like weren't those pictures and all of that right like there there's not the the full

00:24:16.940 picture if you know it's the highlight reel and i see you know and and we know that like everybody

00:24:24.560 is mostly sharing a highlight reel but I always wonder with social media like do our brains can

00:24:31.760 we really comprehend that you know when you're like scrolling and you're just seeing all these

00:24:37.420 people's highlight highlight reels and it's it's one thing to like tell yourself like okay no that

00:24:43.040 like everybody's human everybody has these hard times but then I'm like does my brain really can

00:24:48.740 comprehend that they these are all separate people that I'm looking at and I'm not just seeing like

00:24:56.080 right I don't know I just wonder how it impacts us on a like a level that we don't we're almost

00:25:02.660 like it's like this subconscious thing that we're not fully aware of um that we internalize too

00:25:10.000 yeah I'm sure it is I'm sure we're all like uh even though we know it's at some level a little

00:25:16.660 bit insecure right a little bit like oh that family goes away a lot like what jesus everybody

00:25:24.780 is on a freaking vacation except for me all the time i am going to miami on friday for two nights

00:25:33.020 that sounds amazing right now very again buried in snow here yeah same here it's a freezing not 0.90

00:25:40.380 a lot of snow but it's colder than a witch's tit and a brass bra oh my gosh well yeah we um we did

00:25:48.380 our big trip last year so we are going like nowhere this year um for spring break we are traveling to

00:25:55.740 the exotic city of cincinnati ohio so just just in case anybody's listening and feeling like yeah

00:26:01.900 everybody is on vacation except for me i'm not i'm going to cincinnati why are you going to

00:26:09.280 Cincinnati my sister lives there okay that's good it is like a different climate I mean I'm in

00:26:14.420 Michigan it's crazy how much of a different climate it is down there in the spring though

00:26:18.040 like they get spring way sooner than us so it is it is actually nice yeah so little things

00:26:24.680 55 degrees oh yes I know I'm like that sounds heavy right now a life's weather oh man

00:26:33.660 something else that i think you and i are in very similar stages of parenting and i think we have

00:26:43.620 both talked about how we feel like it in a lot of ways it does actually get easier as your kids get 0.98

00:26:48.880 older i know i can't ever freaking say that on the internet without some asshole being like oh no 0.97

00:26:55.060 all let me tell you all these ways that it gets harder just do wait just do wait 0.97

00:27:00.200 And I'm like, well, I don't know.

00:27:05.220 I mean, I feel like someday I'll be able to go to a restaurant and I won't have kids throwing things and, you know, pooping at the table.

00:27:14.840 So, yes. 0.99

00:27:16.100 Or needing you to take them poop all the fucking time. 0.99

00:27:19.940 That was the other thing that I always tell people about having three kids is I'm like, just know that any outing that you go on, like 75 percent of that outing is going to be looking for a bathroom or going to the bathroom or it's it's very a very bathroom centered phase. 0.99

00:27:41.880 It really is. And like you said, just that your odds go up when you have more.

00:27:46.720 Yeah.

00:27:46.960 involved yeah yeah I can't imagine having more than three kids personally it's like definitely

00:27:53.060 my number it's my limit right but I look at people like I have a friend who has five kids and I just

00:27:59.240 I can't imagine she I'm like you're just you're a better person than me because I tip my hat to

00:28:07.420 the the people who go for more than three because that was the that was definitely the one that

00:28:12.980 stretched us yeah and like I love a squishy little baby and I always I mean I actually didn't love

00:28:19.300 like the newborn period but I've been out of it long enough that every once in a while my ovaries

00:28:23.920 will try to trick me into being like you want to hold a small baby I know you do sure um but I'm

00:28:31.120 like there's just no and as they get older and in more activities I always like the logistics

00:28:36.320 actually is one thing that I feel like gets a little trickier that is one thing that just gets

00:28:42.920 a little more crazy because you know they have different interests they're in different activities

00:28:46.520 so now you're driving them in all these different directions and stuff and so that um it gets a

00:28:52.460 little more chaotic in that way but I'm like as far as I feel like I'm you finally get a little

00:28:59.780 bit um of your your space back as they get older like the that the intensity of those younger years

00:29:08.540 really I feel like when you're someone who's you know I feel like I'm a highly sensitive person

00:29:14.860 and like it is it's a lot of a lot of togetherness a lot of not really having space for yourself

00:29:23.920 yeah I a hundred percent like it's it's that physical autonomy that you regain a little bit

00:29:32.580 when your kids that they're independent that feels so freeing and yeah um it really is something

00:29:40.740 that i'm with you like i become easily overstimulated which is by like the commotion

00:29:47.480 of little kids and like the over the the touched outness like the constant physical contact really

00:29:54.360 overstimulates me and all of that really triggers me to feel anxious so yes it's almost like this

00:30:00.900 constant state of high alert and anxiety when your kids are little and around you all the time

00:30:08.140 together and to have a break from that no matter how long it is like maybe yes you might have you

00:30:14.840 know some difficult teen years and stuff in front of you but you know everything has a season it's

00:30:21.260 like to everything but like you know it's just you're really ready for the next phase when you're

00:30:33.100 ready for the next phase like even to a certain extent like when your little kids are like little

00:30:37.440 big kids like kind of our kids are getting to be right now before those tween and teen years i think

00:30:43.860 Right. In a couple more years, I'm going to be ready for them to enter those next phases and I don't know, and see what they're doing at that age and that kind of thing.

00:30:55.800 And they really, yeah, they really get into their own interests at that age. And that's really cool to see. But yeah, I do. I feel like I'm in a sweet spot right now where our youngest is three.

00:31:09.400 and so he's still like kind of a baby and I do feel like because we're almost out of that phase

00:31:16.200 forever like I'm able to cherish it so much more like he ends up in our bed almost every single

00:31:21.420 night and I kind of love it even though I am like I'm kicked in the face and stomach and all that

00:31:29.020 but I'm able to be like just lean into it in a way that I never could with the first you know

00:31:35.800 in the beginning like our first never actually slept in our bed yeah i honestly could not relate

00:31:42.720 to anything more harder than what you just said right there i have the ability to want to hold

00:31:49.480 on to this last like here whatever it is of these like little baby toddler-y times like cuteness

00:31:57.760 it's like that real like raw pure reactions that are that are there that are still cute and

00:32:06.280 yeah almost gone so not driving you insane right yeah you're like this is yeah this is almost over

00:32:13.480 and so it's almost tolerable that he's running from me every time i you know need to wipe his

00:32:21.000 face or yeah like it's kind of funny like at that point like you're so cute and rambunctious but

00:32:27.480 right or like you're so naughty it's adorable when the older kids are like also old enough to be

00:32:36.500 not meeting you in that capacity that same it just also gives you that extra like

00:32:41.780 space to feel that way you know like it's right they've moved past that face no and i did i had

00:32:48.420 a moment the other day where i put a show on for the kids or whatever and then i went it was like

00:32:53.020 the middle of the day and i don't know if it was a snow day or a weekend or what anymore but um i

00:32:58.180 put a show on for them and like went and took a shower and i was like wow i really like vividly

00:33:02.800 remember the day the days when that like taking a shower felt hard like because there was so much

00:33:13.320 going on with just babies and them needing you constantly yeah all that so i'm always like

00:33:22.280 people in the newborn phase if you're not if you're not digging it i get it but it's all

00:33:29.200 temporary i know and i'm not like at the in the same breath like i'm i would never ever you know

00:33:36.460 this i'm sure about me that i would never be like you'll miss it you'll miss this one day because i

00:33:40.780 don't i truly do not miss that right um and i don't think that i really will miss it all that

00:33:46.240 much because i know how i felt when i was right which was really like overwhelmed a lot of the

00:33:51.900 time and like i was going insane and losing my mind and bored and stressed right at once you

00:33:57.560 know all of these the duality of all these feelings yeah um yeah it yeah and it is finite

00:34:04.360 thank god because you're like i just you could put your head down keep putting one put in front

00:34:09.920 of the other like this will get i will say better in my experience so yep totally agree yeah and we

00:34:18.540 i i've talked about this before too but i my oldest is 12 and i get to take him to school

00:34:25.360 by himself because it starts at a different time from the elementary school which is also

00:34:29.860 frustrating but uh so i'll get to take him and we uh like we listen to like we like the same kinds

00:34:38.960 of music kind of now and we get to we get to drink our coffee and have these like adult adultish

00:34:46.480 chats about the world i'm like wow like i actually never expected when i went into parenting

00:34:52.680 that i was actually i was someone who thought i would debate the newborn phase was gonna be my

00:34:59.180 favorite and it's like so weird to me that are just surprising to me that it's it's this phase

00:35:05.380 um so yeah yeah but we need to we need to talk about the other um elephant in the room which is 0.99

00:35:12.700 your front load washing machine how's that going that son of a bitch i 1.00

00:35:17.900 these are the things that you kind of need a course on in life like fuck calculus you know 1.00

00:35:25.900 let's talk about front loading washing machines right well i have some intel on that actually 0.90

00:35:31.920 so because we've now had a top loader for a few years because i spent a few months

00:35:36.280 with a with a front load and knew that it was not the right fit for me was a horrible mistake

00:35:42.520 It's a horrible mistake. And so I went to the washing machine store or whatever, you know, furniture store. And I was like, I want the washing machine that my grandmother would purchase.

00:35:56.880 yes and he said he was like i know exactly what you're looking for and i was like perfect and he

00:36:03.660 took me to this dark back corner of this of this washing machine store and he was like this is what

00:36:11.920 you want and it was like the most basic looking washing machine i've ever seen in my life it was

00:36:17.980 a speed queen and um i there was even like two levels like or multiple levels where like one

00:36:24.200 at a digital readout and I was like no I want knobs I want like the rotary phone version of

00:36:30.220 a washing machine yes and that that is is what I got but it was funny because he actually told me

00:36:38.700 I don't know if I should be sharing this I'm worried that like big washing machine is going

00:36:42.400 to come for me now but he he was like I have an executive at a very like popular fancy washing

00:36:52.480 machine company who actually just came and bought a set of these not from his company because his

00:36:59.360 wife hates their washing machine and i was like whoa so yeah whatever the latest model of that

00:37:10.340 washing machine is blows chunks it's got it's got that front rubber gasket that just collects

00:37:17.540 all the water and if it sits there for long enough it's a moldy disgusting mess it smells like

00:37:24.180 a basement and it's where you're washing your clothes so it's pretty foul but those are yeah

00:37:29.920 and it's like those are the things that send you over the edge right like yeah those are the the

00:37:34.880 little things in my day that just like derail it when i go into the basement and something smells

00:37:41.300 i'm like god damn it like what is it now yeah what is that who left the banana behind the couch

00:37:50.060 um but yeah like i i feel like it's gonna date it's like one of those things you never expect 0.93

00:37:55.900 you expected you were gonna say but you just they don't make them like they used to they don't make

00:38:00.680 them like they used to look at us a couple of millennials talking about washing machines

00:38:05.520 just the hard-hitting stuff here oh my god yeah anyway i think i might actually like

00:38:15.640 cost that i don't know i i did buy this like this heavy duty like mildew mold remover gel

00:38:23.740 that someone on instagram recommended to me uh and then i was like this is probably

00:38:29.860 too harsh of a subject to be putting in my washing machine that's going to be touching all of our

00:38:37.100 clothes but uh i did it anyway because i was desperate it worked to an extent but i think

00:38:44.200 there's also like stuff under that gasket that i can't get i mean it's just it's that well there

00:38:51.380 is that like really there's that new cleaning account um what's her name on instagram who i

00:38:56.120 went down a rabbit hole of watching all these cleaning videos you know because that's that 0.99

00:39:01.880 that's just sometimes where the algorithm takes me i have no control and she was cleaning one of

00:39:07.380 them and i felt like she was totally disassembling the whole washing machine and i was like i don't

00:39:14.020 feel like you should have to do this to a washing machine no like why am i washing something that 0.51

00:39:20.520 washes like it's right i don't vacuum the vacuum yeah what the fuck is up with i mean i i don't 0.76

00:39:27.820 know it's just it it bothers me on a cellular level but probably no watching machine been 0.56

00:39:35.680 there done that totally agree with you but i felt like i got sold down the river yeah absolutely

00:39:42.020 they'll they'll be in the landfill soon all of them everyone's going back to top load yeah it's

00:39:48.220 so sad well thank you so much for joining me today again i am just incredibly grateful to

00:39:58.440 have found you and um yeah just get to be on on this journey with you thank you i feel the same

00:40:09.280 way and i really feel are corrected to you like i could chat with you until sometime in the middle

00:40:16.520 next week but i love being here with you today thank you so much for having me momplicated is

00:40:23.460 a bravadio production with support from a cast it's hosted by me dana phillips our producer is

00:40:29.420 andy gardner bernstein you can follow rate and review the show on owl podcast or spotify

00:40:34.440 and for more content follow me on instagram at dana.p.phillips see you next week

00:40:46.520 You

Under the Influence (with Jo Piazza) - February 25, 2024

Sunday Nice Things： Momplicated with Big Time Adulting

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