Unlearn16: Class is in Session - October 29, 2024


The One Where I Paint My Nails Black

Topics
midlife crisis
The One Where I Forgot To Shut Off The Water The One Where I Watch The US Vote For Their President

Episode Stats


Length

25 minutes

Words per minute

156.74

Word count

4,035

Sentence count

294

Harmful content

Misogyny

9

sentences flagged

Toxicity

10

sentences flagged

Hate speech

15

sentences flagged


Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
00:00:00.000 class is in session hey everybody and welcome to unlearn 16 class is in session i think i'm
00:00:10.160 going to be doing my podcast down here um it's just me today and do i look exhausted yes so in
00:00:17.640 the comments take your take eat take it easy i feel puffy i feel exhausted uh it's been a long
00:00:26.520 week, guys. But that's not what I want to talk about. I don't want to whine about my age and
00:00:31.600 my puffy eyes, although it's a lot. But I'll tell you why my face is puffy in a second.
00:00:38.040 But I'm going to start with something. I don't know why this is, but I'm just going to bring
00:00:43.300 it up because I really haven't talked about gender and about physicality and about how you present
00:00:50.200 and what you're called and all of those things. You guys know my mantra, call me whatever you
00:00:54.600 one as long as you compliment my hair. I realize I'm wearing a hat right now, but you guys get the
00:00:58.660 point. Here's the thing. Last night, I had Anna and I through a Halloween party. All right. Was
00:01:07.080 it after the longest week of my life? Yes. Yes, it was. Is that probably why my face is puffy?
00:01:11.520 Probably. But nonetheless, we go all out. All right. We go all out and we decided, and you can
00:01:19.920 go check my TikTok and Anna's TikTok and Anna's podcast. You can see all of the incarnations of
00:01:25.680 what we did and how hard I go into the paint. And when I say I go hard into the paint, I mean paint.
00:01:32.620 It's not a metaphor at all. So what did Anna and I go as? We went as Frankenstein in the image of
00:01:41.220 Boris back on my back wall right there and the bride. All right. So, and I know you're all going
00:01:49.040 to be like, that's not Frankenstein, Joanna. That's the monster. Look, shove it. I'm not
00:01:55.680 going down that road. Frankenstein. Call him the monster all you want. I don't care. But
00:02:02.160 nonetheless, we win. And when I'm going as Frankenstein, I go full send. Some people
00:02:12.540 would have just got a Frankenstein mask. Isn't that rational? Isn't that what normal people do?
00:02:20.340 But you know what? I don't like a mask for a couple reasons. Number one, I think it's an easy
00:02:24.560 way out. It's an easy way out. Number two, I don't want to be covered in plastic silicone all night.
00:02:32.560 So I feel the need to pass out because I'm not getting enough oxygen. Number three, the best
00:02:38.180 part of a party is eating. And you can't eat with a big mask on your head. And then you have to get
00:02:44.980 gloves because you have to cover your hands. So it's all a disaster. It's fine for a photo. It's
00:02:49.640 fine to stand and scare the kids on your front step. Completely acceptable. And I may do that
00:02:55.040 at Metro Prep. However, when I'm doing it, I want to go full send. And so we decided to use this
00:03:05.280 green makeup and black makeup and lipstick and heaven help me even this nail polish which I'm
00:03:13.240 going to talk about in a second doesn't look so weird on me and I went full guys and so so initially
00:03:20.140 I drew it here right and I stopped at my hairline and I spray painted my hair black but it's so
00:03:26.000 short on the sides I can't spray paint my head so I spray painted and then and then I she put green
00:03:32.640 all over. But when you see the video, you'll see, I look more like the Incredible Hulk than
00:03:36.280 Frankenstein. So I'm like, it's too thick. So what I need to do is it needs to be more
00:03:41.180 toned. I should have used my hand right away. So then I did. So then I used my hands all through
00:03:49.260 my hair to get the green underlay, all the back of my head, the back of my neck, the front of my
00:03:55.400 neck. And guys, I didn't go, I didn't stop there. Of course I didn't stop there. All my arms,
00:04:00.780 because I had my shirt that was kind of jaggedly cut off the way he wears it.
00:04:06.620 And so I had to paint it, covered all my tattoos, and it looked in,
00:04:11.880 guys, go check my TikTok, check Anna's TikTok, her podcast.
00:04:15.560 It looks insanely amazing.
00:04:20.060 However, number one, if I touched anything, I turned it green.
00:04:25.520 So Anna went around last night wiping down anywhere I ever,
00:04:29.080 to have the wall, the lights, my McDonald's, anything. I couldn't touch anything, which made
00:04:35.240 it very difficult to have, you know, a party, but I could still eat because I didn't care if I
00:04:40.360 ingested some makeup. It was all done. I had to pick my fingernails. Now, the reason why I'm also
00:04:46.860 so puffy is because the amount, like I used makeup wipes to get the stuff off, but guys,
00:04:55.280 it's still not off. I'm still, I have green tint a whole bunch of different places. And I don't
00:05:01.480 know when that's going to come off and I'm just going to leave it. But I rub so hard that I feel
00:05:04.900 like I've shed a layer of skin. My tattoos are like a little less dominant because I've rubbed
00:05:11.420 them right off in order to get the green. And then I'm left with nail polish. Now I could have
00:05:16.940 taken it off this morning, but I'm leaving it. And here's why I'm leaving it.
00:05:21.180 I dress the way I dress and I cut my hair the way I cut my hair and all of those things being true
00:05:30.000 because I'm comfortable in that right and a lot of people have said well Joanna would you put on a
00:05:34.800 dress sure would you put on high heels sure and I have and do I hate it no do I think it's the most
00:05:44.700 uncomfortable thing. Sure. Women and men and non-binary people, I don't know why any of us
00:05:52.400 are throwing on something so incredibly tight. Number one, I hate tight clothing. And number two,
00:05:59.060 high heels, they make your calves look kick-ass. They 100% can be an amazing accessory to an 0.99
00:06:05.860 outfit, but they're going to kill you. They're going to shorten your Achilles. They're going
00:06:11.060 to scrunch in your toes. You're going to, you're going to go roll an ankle and have pins thrown in
00:06:16.440 it. Like they, I think, you know, it's blocked the feminist movement, high heels. Not because 1.00
00:06:25.440 we're forced to, not because we have to, but we put them on. We can't run anywhere. We can't get
00:06:30.740 anywhere. These are, these are physical obstacles that we are choosing to put on our feet. This is
00:06:37.000 like when women say they're going to vote for Trump, uh, they're actually choosing to be 0.96
00:06:43.140 oppressed. Guys, I have green in my ear right now. I just noticed. This is what I'm saying
00:06:47.640 about high heels. You know, here's a funny thing. Again, I still think they look kick-ass.
00:06:52.720 Have at it. Wear what you want, by the way. This is not, this is not preaching for you guys to
00:06:57.640 wear whatever you want. I'm, I'm just thinking perhaps we take it all in and try to understand
00:07:03.240 why we do what we do. When I put this nail polish on, and I know I had to because it's just, I don't
00:07:09.540 know, it's kind of, you know, what the monster does. And there's like green all around my nail
00:07:16.260 polish. And I kind of did a bad job, like Jacqueline did for me, and I kind of did a bad
00:07:20.700 job because I want it to look like worn. This is the most gender dysphoria, if that's such a thing 1.00
00:07:27.660 for me, because I don't care. Again, call me what you want. This is the thing that makes me look at 1.00
00:07:32.800 my hands and go, Oh no, that's not me. I got to take it off immediately. And I like the idea of
00:07:39.220 nail polish. I like the idea of painting my nails. I like the idea of like, like even just like one
00:07:44.940 matching my outfit to one nail or a, you know what I mean? Like I love it, but when I put it on and
00:07:51.860 I'm trying myself out today, when I put it on, I have this instantaneous guttural reaction to
00:07:57.500 that's not me. Now here's where it gets interesting. Is it not me because I don't like it? Because
00:08:08.220 there's something in nail polish that I don't like? Or, and here's where gender and sex and 1.00
00:08:14.680 presentation and socialization gets so incredibly deep and confusing. Is it not me because somebody
00:08:21.160 says that is for girls and women, and that is the hyper level of feminization. I know in your head
00:08:29.980 you're thinking, Joanna, so is high heels and dresses, but let's be honest, I don't wear those
00:08:34.400 often, if ever. And mostly I like the shock effect I get. But this is something kind of subtle that
00:08:40.980 gives me that guttural feeling. So is the guttural feeling a reaction to the thing, the nail polish?
00:08:47.420 look at what a crappy job that is the nail polish or is it a physical reaction to the societal
00:08:54.120 perception and to everything I think goes with the nail polish and I just want it off
00:08:59.580 because if it's the latter and let's assume it's the latter
00:09:04.420 this is where I'm getting deep guys then we don't have a problem with feminine and masculine we have
00:09:13.020 a problem with the expectation of the feminine and masculine as it connects only to men and women.
00:09:20.460 It's not the thing that gives us gender dysphoria. It's the association that the thing has
00:09:27.780 with a particular expectation and sex that gives us gender dysphoria. Therefore, if we can alter
00:09:35.840 the expectations of what we think people should wear, of what we think men and women should look 0.91
00:09:42.460 like, of what we think they should present themselves to be, based on their cis-born
00:09:48.780 sex. If we get rid of that, then we open the door and allow people to do exactly what they're drawn 0.92
00:09:59.060 to, exactly what they like, exactly what they feel comfortable in, with no expectation, with no
00:10:07.160 dominance of socialization, with no control and management of who and what we're supposed
00:10:15.500 to be.
00:10:19.300 The creation of gender norms and the creation and the socialization of expectation is actually
00:10:29.200 what makes us have to fit in the other category so firmly.
00:10:34.900 and that's why non-binary people are highly impressive you know the people who have chosen
00:10:41.940 that or the people even the even the trans community who have chosen to rail against that
00:10:47.020 when we think they're following some sort of societal norm I'm just like you know and people
00:10:52.760 will say oh my god well it's just so trendy is it are you okay is it trendy or do they still face
00:11:00.060 a crap ton of discrimination and violence and oppression? Do they come up against it
00:11:07.280 every single day of their lives? And we think they're the ones following the fads? No, guys, 0.90
00:11:15.120 my dudes, that's society. Society. And what an insane thing we've put upon people.
00:11:23.660 what an insane idea, if we can possibly step away for a minute, what an insane idea
00:11:32.820 to tell men and women what they should wear based on their sex? What?
00:11:43.400 I mean, why are we even going to that much trouble? And this has all shifted over time,
00:11:50.580 Right? Makeup used to be for men 0.96
00:11:53.500 High heels used to be for men 1.00
00:11:55.240 Right?
00:11:58.060 Long ornate gowns and coats 1.00
00:12:01.560 And hair, all men 0.98
00:12:03.880 And it's just sort of shifted 0.65
00:12:06.100 And we've decided, well, not for men anymore
00:12:08.340 Now it's for women
00:12:09.220 What's our end game? 1.00
00:12:13.740 And especially since we get a lot of these perceptions
00:12:16.500 From the freedom rally folks
00:12:19.980 right? Don't tell me what to do. Socialization's garbage. Yeah, blah, blah, blah. Do we really
00:12:26.820 think you come out of the womb? And if you're a boy, you automatically know you get to buy a
00:12:31.280 Ford F-150? Stop it. If we really want freedom, we have to start teaching people how to be good
00:12:41.440 people and nothing else. Isn't that a better goal? Isn't that more rational? Doesn't that make more
00:12:48.480 sense, you're not going to eradicate heterosexuality. Attraction is attraction. What you're going to
00:12:55.500 do is you're going to eradicate people forcing themselves into boxes that they're not comfortable
00:13:01.400 with, they don't feel themselves in, and eventually, by the by, they break free from other, anyways.
00:13:10.220 Right? You hit your mid, what do you think midlife crisis really is? I'm going to tell you a secret
00:13:15.220 about what a midlife crisis really is. You get too old to give a crap about what you've been 0.99
00:13:22.040 socialized to do. And all of a sudden, everything you've built and everything you've done shatters 0.97
00:13:28.580 into a billion pieces because you recognize, not that you're having this much of a sort of
00:13:34.500 reflective experience because we're not taught to do that either. But really what's going on is
00:13:39.400 you're like, oh my God, the first 45 of my years, I did exactly what I was told, what I was supposed
00:13:45.040 to do how I was supposed to do it. And you know what? The reality is I'm not happy and I'm not
00:13:50.540 in the business of making anybody else happy anymore. So I'm chucking it all. That's what we
00:13:55.280 do. And it's horrible for society. Divorce and leaving your jobs and uprooting families and all
00:14:06.000 of the things that go with this. Cause it was just you and you, and you just decided to do that's
00:14:10.380 cool. Like, I mean, who really cares, but it's never just you, right? Cause you've always,
00:14:13.700 then you could then it doesn't need to be a crisis the only reason it's a midlife crisis
00:14:18.440 is because you're bound by all of these things you've roped yourself into
00:14:23.800 that's why it's a crisis if you weren't roped into anything you just make different decisions 0.74
00:14:31.480 it's not a crisis it's just tuesday and you make a different freaking decision
00:14:36.160 but it's because you've been bound into all of these things
00:14:40.180 so if we stopped forcing that upon people in many different ways if we stopped the expectation if
00:14:49.960 we stopped the indoctrinization and it is indoctrinization the socialization the
00:14:55.320 manipulation the brainwashing if we stopped all that what's going to happen is people are going
00:15:00.940 to choose what makes them happy and fulfilled and by the way don't think for a minute that i'm
00:15:08.500 advocating for some hedonistic society where you only make yourself happy no because i think a lot
00:15:13.780 of true happiness comes with purpose comes with family comes with responsibility comes with
00:15:20.260 emotional and social ties all of that is true just don't jam them down my throat just don't tell me
00:15:26.660 how to have them because if they can be more authentic and we can build them more authentically
00:15:34.980 they will last longer. They will build stronger. Because I do believe that people are social
00:15:43.500 beings. They are. They absolutely are. And whether or not institutions like marriage or
00:15:52.100 institutions that we've been propagating for so long, those were all built for the pretense of
00:16:00.060 stability, for the pretense of ownership, for the pretense of control, for the pretense
00:16:08.040 of legitimacy. Marriage wasn't built for love. We also have a really messed up version of
00:16:15.500 what love is nowadays, right? Of course we do. It's always supposed to make us feel
00:16:20.320 good. It's always supposed to, the minute it stops making us feel good, I'm not in love
00:16:24.620 anymore. That's ridiculous. We don't even understand what love is. We've skewed the 0.97
00:16:30.560 concept so much because we've watched Nodding Hill one too many times that when you're in a
00:16:36.060 relationship and you don't feel butterflies every seven seconds, you want to bounce.
00:16:43.840 Well, what love should be? The instantaneous butterflies in your stomach and you got to be
00:16:52.720 with them every second. And, and oh my God, if they don't text me back and that heightened
00:16:57.720 everything, guess what guys? That ain't love. That's insecurity. That's insecurity.
00:17:09.080 That gut feeling. And sometimes that's put on by something new. Sometimes you have a partner that
00:17:15.560 manufactures that because that's how they keep control. If they keep you completely unstable at
00:17:20.420 all times. They think it keeps you interested, which it does to some extent. All of that is
00:17:25.960 insecurity. We don't teach people this. We don't teach people what love really looks like, if we're
00:17:32.900 going to give it a name, is empathy and compassion and support. And it should grow. And every day you
00:17:43.040 learn a little bit more, you learn a little bit more, and it's not always easy. And you have big,
00:17:47.840 big, big fights and work through big, big things. And you change and you grow. And sometimes you
00:17:55.060 grow together and sometimes you grow apart. All of these things, if we could stand back
00:18:01.160 and stop having institutionalized love kind of shoved down our throats, which again, created by
00:18:08.940 religion, created by monarchs in order to populate, in order to grow the population,
00:18:15.500 in order to have stability, in order to make sure people were getting taken care of.
00:18:19.860 It's not a thing to do with love.
00:18:23.540 Stop it.
00:18:26.380 So I'm wearing my nail polish and I'm not taking it off.
00:18:29.560 Here's why.
00:18:30.280 It's a little test.
00:18:31.940 I'm going to leave it on until it really looks horrible,
00:18:34.160 until my nails really grow out and, you know, I have to take it off 0.98
00:18:37.240 because it looks like garbage.
00:18:39.280 Because I like the idea of it, but it bothers me on my fingers, 0.56
00:18:44.640 which says to me, if I like the idea, and it looks like fun, and I would like to be able to
00:18:51.260 incorporate it, match it to my shoes and my hat, whatever, the only thing stopping me from doing
00:18:56.200 this is because there's something deep seated in my head that I need to unlearn. So I'm going to
00:19:03.900 leave it on. I'm going to stay uncomfortable until I freaking unlearn it. And that's, that's our
00:19:12.600 goal. That should be our goal. As adults, as students, it doesn't really matter. It should
00:19:19.320 be our goal to have uncomfortable feelings, uncomfortable thoughts, uncomfortable discussions
00:19:24.580 in order to get to a better understanding. Because it's just something you do,
00:19:29.120 but you don't know why you do it. Go check yourself. Seriously. If it's something you
00:19:35.740 don't do and you refuse to do, and you don't really know why, go check yourself.
00:19:42.600 Does the thing serve you, or doesn't it?
00:19:45.800 Does the tradition of family gatherings and Christmas and Thanksgiving,
00:19:51.540 does that make you happy, or doesn't it?
00:19:54.340 Because if it doesn't, stop doing it.
00:19:58.740 Stop doing it.
00:20:00.640 I'm not saying chuck your family.
00:20:02.720 I'm saying the tradition doesn't work.
00:20:06.020 It shouldn't make you feel anxious and horrific.
00:20:09.220 It should make you feel loved and it should make you feel like you belong somewhere and it should make, you should look forward to it.
00:20:17.620 I look, Thanksgiving, I don't look forward so much.
00:20:21.060 That's not because of my family.
00:20:22.460 That's because I don't want to cook.
00:20:24.640 I'd rather order pizza.
00:20:25.860 But I order the, like, there's not, there's no compromise.
00:20:28.440 I'm not saying life's perfect. 0.99
00:20:30.400 I make the damn turkey because we all like it. 0.99
00:20:32.580 Mostly I like the sandwiches. 1.00
00:20:34.520 Christmas Eve, I love Christmas Eve with my family.
00:20:38.160 I love it.
00:20:38.620 we do sandwiches, like open face sandwiches. I love it. It's your tradition. We put on the same
00:20:43.300 movies that I love it. More of that. I love it. Doesn't have to be on December 24th. Want to know
00:20:48.880 why? It's a made up holiday. I'm not religious. I don't care when it happens. I love it. I love
00:20:53.460 the tradition of it. So when we do these things like nail polish, and so like I'm thinking like
00:20:59.020 you guys know, like I like my shoes to match, my hat to match, everything's on point. This would be
00:21:04.500 fun and is because I'm getting used to it right now is the only thing stopping me from this
00:21:10.500 is a deep-seated preconceived notion of who I have to be since I cut my hair like this
00:21:16.180 and I wear baggy pants am I not allowed to do this do I always have to fulfill all of
00:21:23.540 the stereotypes that go along with I think the answer is a hell no but I think for all
00:21:32.380 of us, a lot of people, to get to where we're 100% comfortable, we're still battling socialization
00:21:39.420 and expectation all over the place. And if you say you're not, you're lying. Stop it.
00:21:43.820 Don't lie to yourself. Have that internalized thought. Yes, I still have green in my ear.
00:21:49.380 Have that internalized thought and go through it. I go down to Bay Street, which is like our
00:21:56.220 financial district in Toronto. And one of the funniest things I see in it, and I swear to God,
00:22:03.280 I want to do a full sort of podcast on it. I want to go down and talk to these women. 1.00
00:22:08.820 You see women walking to their jobs on Bay street in running shoes, bright white, like sketchers, 1.00
00:22:20.280 super comfortable, you know, just the most, not the most attractive of running shoes. Nobody's 1.00
00:22:26.560 doing it for style points. They've picked the nicest, most comfortable running shoe that they
00:22:31.280 can possibly find, right? You're getting all the arch support. Why? Because they got to get from
00:22:37.080 the bus or the subway to their office. And then they get to their office and what do they do?
00:22:43.520 They put on the shoes that are trying to kill them for the next eight hours.
00:22:46.640 the shoes are so bad you can't walk in them
00:22:52.340 what is this expectation why do we have it have we lost our minds well obviously we have
00:23:02.680 obviously we have and again remember i get it they look amazing right they can look amazing
00:23:13.300 It's a cool aesthetic, I think.
00:23:16.800 However, if you're a day trader, you're working in the bank, you're a real estate agent.
00:23:27.780 Is that helping you with your job performance?
00:23:32.820 And do we love them, even me?
00:23:35.260 Like, do we like them or like the way they look?
00:23:37.960 Because we've been told to and conditioned to?
00:23:40.880 Because let's, again, shorten Achilles heel, back problems, feet problems, toe problems, rolling an ankle.
00:23:52.940 Those are five significant, dangerous realities, consistent realities of wearing high heel shoes.
00:24:05.160 Is fashion more important?
00:24:07.400 Is socialization more important?
00:24:09.060 is an aesthetic more important?
00:24:14.600 And I haven't even begun to talk about makeup.
00:24:17.100 Because listen, I know I put a lot of green on
00:24:19.480 and you guys will see that.
00:24:20.840 But when I should have done the thing
00:24:22.140 when I was taking it off,
00:24:23.120 because oh my God.
00:24:24.960 But I was really scared it wasn't going to come off.
00:24:27.200 But I know for a fact, 1.00
00:24:28.320 like women do however long of makeup in the morning 1.00
00:24:32.700 and however long of taking it off at night.
00:24:35.560 and it can be toxic, it can be incredibly hard on their face, forget the time consumption
00:24:44.560 and the frigging jabs at their self-confidence because without it, I can't even go out of the
00:24:54.000 house. What are we doing? What are we doing? And why are we still doing it? So I'm going to give 0.73
00:25:03.940 you homework for this podcast. I want you to go away and I want you to think about something you
00:25:08.760 do that brings more harm and no value to your life. And really, really think about why you do
00:25:18.160 it if you should continue and what it would be like to stop. And I'm going to leave these nails
00:25:25.160 on until I stop feeling this particular way so I can make an independent, intelligent decision
00:25:31.800 about, do I want to paint my nails?
00:25:36.400 And with that, I will see you next Tuesday.
00:25:39.880 Same bat time, same bat channel.
00:25:44.000 Dismissed. 1.00