00:00:00.000class is in session how's everybody doing welcome to unlearn 16 classes in session guys i have adam
00:00:09.720back adam can we just do this like maybe once a month i think we should have it once a month
00:00:15.420if not more it was too long of a break i feel like i'm trying not to occupy all of your time
00:00:22.060but once a month is that fair i think i really enjoy talking to you and i really like the
00:00:28.660response from your audience so that's what we're gonna do oh my god are you in new york
00:00:32.640not at the moment when i'm gonna be in new york in um the end of june okay are you around new
00:00:43.040york and then are you in la right now i'm in la right now right right right of course you are
00:00:47.520because pst time but i'm from new york you're from i appreciate it do you spend a lot of time there
00:00:53.900I love do I spend a lot of time there no I mean I love it as much as I can go there I go there
00:01:00.160I think I'll probably be spending a bit more time there sort of coming soon um but I'm gonna be
00:01:05.780coming I'll be in LA I think in July that's good news yeah so I'll be in July so we'll have to like
00:01:12.620meet up and do one of these in person I would love that I'm doing better and better I'm doing
00:01:16.760okay I'm hanging in there how about you you're hanging in there what's new and exciting I got
00:01:20.780a new dog you i saw that well that's nothing can be better than that how's the training going
00:01:27.700the training's going well i i couldn't tell if they were smart or not a friend of mine
00:01:34.180had a uh these three puppies and needed a home for him and this was the the runt of the group
00:01:39.580right two brothers would play and they would always exclude him and i watched him always
00:01:44.780kind of playing catch up and i was like that's the one we want and it turns out of course he's
00:01:49.660brilliant of course he's super smart and you learn very quickly patch up that's how i think i choose
00:01:57.100everything it's funny because i have this older senior pitbull right and this very small yorkie
00:02:08.540terrier mix and it's funny watching the older dog with the younger she really won't tolerate
00:02:16.060him very much but i know she's teaching him everything and he is learning you know he watches
00:02:22.860everything and there was a moment you know i'll put they both wear harnesses and i'll put
00:02:28.140mod the older dog's harness down and model come over and i'll put her legs in it put it up i try
00:02:33.340to get charles the younger dog to do the same thing and he's not coming over to me when i put
00:02:37.500the harness down so mod comes over to the little dog's harness and starts putting her paw like that
00:02:44.860like showing him that it goes into the harness and he ran over put his feet right in it and i
00:02:51.200zipped him right up it was the most human interaction i've seen among any species it was
00:02:57.020the most just that was it was lovely and i want more of that that's perfect that's actually what
00:03:03.440they say you every i i get listen the the the stream of videos i know i do a lot of tiktoks
00:03:09.700and videos and stuff and and sometimes they're all agitated and political but the ones that i
00:03:13.860love watching hands down are the ones about that dodo channel have you ever seen that
00:03:19.920oh my god you have it's like they rescue dogs with mange or they're over here on the side of
00:03:27.180the road and it's their rehabilitation and they find dogs that i'm like i'm crying by the end of
00:03:32.880the three minutes every single time and then watching dogs teach each other to sit properly
00:03:38.060teach each other to eat teach each other and i'm like i'm i'm captivated
00:03:43.860if it will give Charles, that's the younger dog's name,
00:03:48.420if it will give him something he likes, he'll learn it in a second.
00:03:52.660But it's funny because Maude, the older dog I got from, you know,
00:03:56.720she was a rescue. So she came with the street smarts.
00:04:00.320She came with that idea that we just want to try and do what's asked of us
00:04:05.480because there's a bad alternative. So she always kind of wants to do good,
00:04:10.120But Charles will look at you like a prep school kid with that, just like, I understand you're asking me to do something, but I do not understand what's in it for me.
00:04:20.860So I am confused as to why you think I would be doing this.
00:14:17.100I think it's also obviously the unconditional love.
00:14:21.160And a lot of people think it's what you get. A lot of people think it's what I get from an animal, this unconditional love. And I think it's more, to be honest, what you can give with no fear. Right? We want to give that love.
00:14:38.580The feeling of taking, just like you said, of taking care of something, of making sure they're protected and loved and everything, I don't, I think that's the feeling I get when I take, and he knows it.
00:14:52.340He knows that I will take care of everything, and I think that that's what I love.
00:14:58.320The ability to, without fear, without pretense, without whatever, you know, you know what you're going to get back, so it's like I can give everything.
00:15:08.580hmm i mean that's definitely true i i will say that i definitely if i used
00:15:18.840my pet for anything it was to really learn how to care about something outside of myself and that
00:15:25.680they were larger than me and with maude there was fear because i hadn't i knew a pit bull was a very
00:15:32.720dangerous animal and i lived in a in a city in a building with constant people all the time and i
00:15:38.500knew that people were scared of her and i knew that she was very strong and capable of doing a1.00
00:15:44.180lot of damage and she would um if i didn't handle something right she would judge me and she would
00:15:50.400not talk to me she would turn her head from me she would not accept a treat to let me know that0.91
00:15:55.220she's unhappy with this situation or right the fact that i had um the bed she thought i had
00:16:01.060gotten rid of was actually just in the closet and when she saw it was in the closet she looked at
00:16:05.620me like my old bed has been here this whole time how could you how dare yeah and like wouldn't look
00:16:11.580at me but would do like what your partner would do like she'd be very kind to strangers and show
00:16:17.200them lots of affection but then it was like no i'm still mad at you i'm still do you think speaking
00:16:22.860of that do you think that it has somehow changed your ability and changed your capacity for love
00:16:33.820with a partner a hundred i mean it's allowed me to do it how so how do you think that how do you
00:16:40.040think that ties in i mean it's called growing up and becoming an adult when you're caring for
00:16:46.100something outside of yourself that is more important to you at this moment where its needs
00:16:51.880you jump. You don't think about yourself. And it taught me all of those lessons that I was
00:16:57.180long overdue to learn. And I think they're great arbiters of fairness. I think they can tell
00:17:07.960what justice is. And I think they can tell what's fair. They always say you have to give them both
00:17:12.160a treat because it's not fair. And if you do give them both a treat, they're like, that's cool.
00:17:16.520and they can tell if you're a good or bad person.
00:17:20.220I mean, I had to stop barking in my life
00:27:37.140And I think that a lot of people, we tell people that.
00:27:39.620And most people can't understand in their world.
00:27:43.220They can understand it how you just described it to you.
00:27:45.820and I'm trying to figure out ways for everybody to understand the difference of the push in their
00:27:54.080life. The, the, when you force something into a box, it shouldn't fit into. You aren't being
00:28:01.140authentic. When you're not being authentic, you are never going to get greatness, whatever that
00:28:05.480is. But when I talk about it sometimes, I feel like it's just so abstract, right? And so I lose
00:28:17.320the average person who doesn't necessarily think that same way. And that's where I find art and
00:28:24.580theater and whatever can kind of cut through that for some people. I was doing this thing in my
00:28:33.440grade seven and eights today where i asked them what their favorite song was and because we were
00:28:38.380talking about what authenticity means and and you know for the most part grade seven they're still
00:28:47.140pretty authentic because they haven't not that they're not trying hard but they're not trying
00:28:51.780as hard as teenagers are going to try and then as adults for the rest of their lives so i'm asking
00:28:57.300them what their favorite song is and then i'm trying to get at why it's their favorite song
00:29:02.920does it remind them of something is it the lyric is it the whatever and whatever that is it's going
00:29:09.980to speak true to a part of them that i want them to never let go of right it's so i'm just trying
00:29:17.100to because when you talk about these big terms and people just sit there like what the hell are you
00:29:21.100talking about i don't know like you know i manage a best buy what are you talking about authenticity
00:29:27.300um but i try to get at those like little pieces and again before you know maybe two years ago
00:29:36.140i don't think i could have gained access to it without some degree of creativity
00:29:41.740i don't think i could have well the trick is to be relaxed i think if we're physically relaxed
00:29:48.600then we can feel whatever we're meant to feel but if we're tense then we can't feel it
00:29:53.160that fight or flight I guess I guess if you're not you're if you're thinking about you know the
00:30:02.160the scary thing if you're thinking about having to control or having to form your brain's engaged
00:30:07.740in a certain way that you can't experience the emotion of the moment is that what you're saying
00:30:11.460oh yeah you're just physically trapping you know we can do that headaches people with tension here
00:30:17.000hear. I mean, it's emotion. It's things we are physically holding in. You ever talk to someone
00:30:23.380and they disagree with you and they just kind of shake their head? No, no, no, no, no, no. They're
00:30:27.820physically not hearing you. They are letting it bounce off their bodies and communicating. I am
00:30:34.040not internalizing whatever you're saying. I am pushing it off. You know, you can't, if you want
00:30:40.880to cry, if you're supposed to cry, you can't force it. You can't push it. You have to relax.
00:30:47.000and then you'll cry so just to be aware of whatever is going on with you and what you need
00:30:53.480and what you're feeling you have to be physically relaxed and that's something a lot of people
00:30:56.840wouldn't even have the time to engage in well there's a great point right do we have the time
00:31:02.200to engage in that because there's a lot of people working you know two jobs there's a lot of people
00:31:07.960with three kids there's a lot of people with all of these balls in the air and there's literally
00:31:13.160or it would feel like, I'm assuming, there's no moment where they have that time to refocus
00:31:22.860to, and then if they take that time for themselves, it actually feels quite selfish.
00:31:27.900You know, and you're not doing what you're supposed to be doing, right?
00:31:31.100It's a muscle that takes practice. And with the understanding that like any heavy weight you
00:31:36.140haven't lifted before, it's not going to, you're not just going to nail it the first time. It's
00:31:39.940going to take a couple tries taking time for yourself relaxing receiving you know it's not
00:31:44.640just going to happen because you decide to i love those people that live very very very regimented
00:31:48.920busy lives and then they're like and now i'm on vacation why can't i relax because it takes
00:31:53.240practice you're not just gonna your body's not just gonna start relaxing because you demand it
00:31:57.220to right it takes practice and you're not going to be able to the first couple days and normally
00:32:02.260by the time you start relaxing vacation's over you get to go back it's over yeah what a horrible
00:32:07.180reality that is what do you think the biggest for you because it's all changes for people
00:32:12.300what do you think because i i very recently learned about boundaries
00:32:17.180kind of hilarious isn't it me too i'm just reading up on them and by learning about boundaries i mean
00:32:23.640i always understood the word for those who are sitting at home going joanna doesn't understand
00:32:27.540what a boundary listen i understand the words i understand what it's supposed to mean i always
00:32:32.620thought I implored them because I am, you know, Zen master in my thirties, which I wasn't
00:32:38.640obviously. And I finally started understanding, um, what a boundary was and why it's probably
00:32:47.980before anything else, the most important thing we have to learn.
00:32:53.820Um, man, I'm, I'm, I'm really late to this game of learning how to have.
00:33:00.240found me i'm just here yeah it's hard and here's what i i choose to blame um
00:33:08.280i started acting as of as a as around 11 and you learn a couple things early on that are necessary
00:33:16.680and true to be an actor or an improver or whatever it is and that is you always you have to always
00:33:21.700say yes i was taught at every meeting if they go can you ride a horse you say yes even if you can't
00:33:28.160Say yes. If you say no, you're not going to get the job. Say yes and we'll figure out how you ride a horse later. And that is good advice when you're trying to get a job. When you're doing improv, you can't say no. You say no, the whole scene stops. Hello, my husband. No. Well, now the scene's done. Good job. You have to say yes. And if you're very good, you say yes. And I'm very happy to be your husband.
00:33:48.900But, I mean, I trained it like a muscle, like we're talking about, with exercises for hours, six hours a day at Straussburg, practicing, not having that filtering process that decides whether this is a good idea and just says yes and lets whatever I'm about to say come out.
00:34:05.280And it wasn't until very recently that I was like, well, maybe I took that lesson a little too far and I can reel it in a little bit and not just instinctively say yes before the person is even finished asking.
00:34:19.040And that person at Best Buy that you're talking about would also probably be a better salesperson if they had some boundaries and didn't push and just let the sale come to them and didn't give off that desperate like, yes, it has everything you want.
00:34:32.920buy it now buy it now they were just like sure if you'd like to you'd probably be more inclined to
00:34:37.180buy it and i feel like um yeah it's something i try and teach my daughter i like to do just
00:34:42.420i like to i like her to see us just saying no to people as a rehearsal just hear us being no i'm
00:34:50.000not comfortable with that right you know what i mean because so they can have an example of it
00:34:55.140because i don't want her to just say yes to things blindly because you don't want to hurt
00:34:59.980somebody's feelings or because we're taught in a kind of Disney kind of way that saying yes and
00:35:05.920smiling and being available is strength. It is. Of course, we want that from a good friend. But
00:35:12.040so is knowing and honoring your boundaries and limitations. And I think it's so funny you say
00:35:19.060that you think it's you can sort of tap into where it came from. But then I'm thinking about
00:35:25.140how most people, myself included, got into relationships or ever get into relationships.
00:35:31.520And when we get into relationships, the reason why it's the honeymoon period, which is the0.98
00:35:35.340stupid descriptor, the most asinine descriptor, it's not the honeymoon period. Excuse my language,0.99
00:35:41.520it's the bullshit period. It's the period where both of you are trying to impress each other so0.97
00:35:46.720much that you say yes to everything. Every single, you want to go hiking? Absolutely. I love hiking.
00:35:53.420You want to go sailing? Amazing. I'm a great sailor. I can't wait to get on a boat with you.
00:35:57.460You want to go shopping? Absolutely. I can't wait to carry your bags.
00:36:00.600Meanwhile, that's not who you are necessarily. You aren't all of those yeses.
00:36:08.800So at some point, when the honeymoon period ends, again, it's not a honeymoon period,0.99
00:36:14.180it's a bullshit period. When that ends and you finally say, I would rather die than go on another0.99
00:36:19.920hike to nowhere in the middle of a forest that i don't enjoy and your partner looks at you and goes
00:36:26.720what what do you mean so either one of you either lied to me or you don't love me enough anymore to
00:36:35.120do these things with me that you used to want to do obviously before and everything falls apart now
00:36:41.680some of us can only last a few months with that with that period other others of us can really
00:36:47.360really really ramp it up to years right years of whatever you want baby
00:36:55.620right that's a lot of resentment that's gonna come out in the very very bad way
00:37:02.440i mean that's that tension we're talking about that's what we're holding in
00:37:06.760you know all that comes from it's from i hate that i never want to be like that i know i have
00:37:13.620in the past because it comes out and you're like i hate this and they're like then why didn't because
00:37:18.100it's us yes it's us we're mad at we didn't have the courage or the honesty to just say because i
00:37:24.660love when people do that to me there's nothing i love more than hey do you want to come see this
00:37:28.020comic no i hate them good answer good answer i'm glad you didn't say yes i respect you knowing what
00:37:34.660you like knowing what you don't like and moving on i do i have no negative i i respect it yet i
00:37:40.340can't, I have a hard time practicing. Absolutely. I mean, and you know, when it comes to jobs and
00:37:46.660things like that, there's an economic bottom line. And so I kind of understand more of a motivation
00:37:52.640on a job front to just keep saying yes. So you, your art and your job, you know, is fused together.
00:37:59.500It's, that's a hard thing to separate because they're right. If you don't say you can ride the
00:38:04.240horse, you don't get the job. If you don't get the job, you don't, there's a lot of connections.
00:38:09.020What I find interesting is that that fundamental relationship that we establish with people, whether that be our family, our friends, our partners, and when we establish it with that kind of say yes to everything because I only want to make them happy and that's my whole goal in this world, and that's how we build our relationships.
00:38:32.420And then we're shocked when it all crumbles, usually quite catastrophically, and it crumbles and we realize, well, I chose to fake and not because you have ill intent.
00:38:51.540I don't think there's ever a lot of ill intent about that.
00:38:54.240You just want to make that other person happy so much that you forget who you are.
00:38:59.600if you forget who you are what the who the hell are you having a relationship with it's not you
00:39:07.840right it took me a long drive that we want to be with somebody so bad you don't want to be alone
00:39:15.760well for me it's always like i could be that person i could be a person that likes hikes i
00:39:21.440could see myself being that person i don't want to rule that out that's definitely a possibility
00:39:25.760I mean, it's not who I am or what I know, but I'm sure I could be.
00:41:42.960I mean, I don't think we're stipulating.
00:41:44.700It's going to sound like, well, you're just you like what you're like and you can never step out.
00:41:48.240That's not what I'm saying, because I am saying you should be spontaneous and you should experience things and you should be open to a lot of things.
00:41:56.280but but that's it's more I think it's more you know not experiential stuff it's more and I use
00:42:05.680hiking only because I personally hate hiking but it's more that that character driven stuff where
00:42:11.300you're like I am just going to minimize this part of me whatever that to please the other person
00:42:16.460yeah that's it I'm just going to genuinely want it or because we're ashamed of it yeah yeah I'm
00:42:23.520going to be a little less me a little i can tend to be boisterous maybe i can tend to occupy space
00:42:30.160so you know what i'm going to do because my partner needs more attention i'm gonna
00:42:35.280i'm gonna get smaller and and you can make your smaller you can make yourself smaller for
00:42:41.360long enough um so that you don't have to make yourself smaller anymore you just are
00:42:46.880you that's your new that's your new reality and you and the only way you then see it is when
00:42:54.240you're out of it and you go oh my god how did that happen who is that person you know and again
00:43:03.120i'm not saying you shouldn't change and you shouldn't compromise and you shouldn't experience
00:43:07.600all of those things so i i think it's a very fine balance between all of that i think
00:43:13.520I like to say, not only do I want to experience things, but I want to experience the things that
00:43:20.560scare the hell out of me. That's what I want. You asked about, before we went on air, you were like,
00:43:27.880what was your first in sweat, playing in sweat? It was the hardest, the most scared I have been
00:43:40.140in my adult life, by far. And it wasn't just because it was because of everything. But,
00:43:49.240you know, initially, I packed all of my fear or whatever into just learning the lines. Because
00:43:54.340if I learned the lines, that was the part I could control. And I kind of put the acting way over
00:44:00.160there. And my director kept saying, who was a good friend of mine, Ryan's like, Joanna, listen,
00:44:04.200the lines will come take your book everywhere but act it when you say it because then it will be a
00:44:11.900part of who you it'll just it'll flow and i'm like ryan shut up i need to learn these lines because
00:44:18.460if i get on that stage and i don't know what i'm supposed to say it's gonna go all go haywire and
00:44:24.040he would say how many people in the audience do you think have read sweat and i'd be like i don't
00:44:31.600no why are you asking me and he's like because if you drop a line no one's going to notice
00:44:38.400but if you're not the character everybody's going to notice and none of it could i understand
00:44:46.240until not even when i was done when i was done i think i packed it away somewhere i've started
00:44:52.720contemplating it and going back and figuring it out and thinking i might do it again a year later
00:45:01.600Like a year later, I'm starting to have actual memory of it.
00:45:06.280But when I did it, it was like, I got nothing.
00:45:56.680And so when I teach now, I honestly believe that drama should be a fundamental, a required course, not just for one year.
00:46:11.560I learned, as an adult, so much about myself, about, like, expression, about emotionality, about a self's level of empowerment, accomplishment, by doing one play at 47.
00:46:35.800so or i was 46 so what what other lessons are we telling kids they don't have to learn because we
00:46:45.080think well and not that math before anybody jumps down not that math isn't important in science and
00:46:51.460whatever but isn't this the ability to be empowered and stand centered in a space and put all of your
00:47:01.380vulnerability all of your identity all of your everything on the line in front of people and do
00:47:06.820it and walk away from that i can't think of any better lesson there are certain people that um
00:47:17.860if you're in an auditorium full of people and you're like you get up and say something to this
00:47:23.860crowd there are people that will have no problem doing that and there are people that would rather
00:47:28.500die than ever do that they can't even imagine doing that it's a skill some people have some
00:47:33.480people don't school is providing opportunities for people who are good at different things to
00:47:40.560shine and if you're good at sports there is a place you will shine you can be bad at math and
00:47:45.280good at sports and there'll be a place you feel at home unfortunately things like home economics
00:47:50.700things like art there there there's less and less of them and those people that shine in those
00:47:57.380arenas aren't being let in on the little secret that they're actually very talented and heroic.
00:48:03.760There's just no avenue for it right here. And the more we get rid of that, the less options
00:48:09.880there'll be, the more similar we'll all become. And the less people like that will have a chance
00:48:13.460to shine. They'll just assume, oh, well, this world isn't for me because I'm not good at these
00:48:18.600three things. So there's no place for me here. And the more expansive we can have an education
00:48:26.000system be, the more we can, for example, the kid that's really good at sports or the kid that's
00:48:32.440really good at art or math, they can all shine where they are meant to shine or let's say
00:48:38.460genetically predisposed to shine. And then, and then, and here's the important part,
00:48:44.880they can be in another classroom where they have to struggle, but the kid that can't make a free
00:48:50.500throw to save their life shines. That is an important dynamic to be a part of because that's
00:48:57.080how we learn to respect each other for what they stand for and what they can do in this world.
00:49:01.940And not just think what I do, where I shine is the only singular important thing in the entire
00:49:08.720world. Right. And, or heaven help us that you're going to have to bust your ass a little bit more
00:49:14.440in this discipline to get better right everybody knows what it is to have to look to struggle and0.98
00:49:22.740be past your math class everybody knows what that feels like because guess what you have to nobody
00:49:28.780knows what it's like to not be an innate artist let's say you can't draw well yet you're gonna
00:49:37.300sit in that class and we're not gonna let you graduate until you get this good because we've
00:49:42.820decided art doesn't matter enough for you to have to struggle to get better and then when it comes
00:49:51.260to drama i just i can't think of a more transferable skill i can't to everything yeah to everything in
00:49:57.540life is in that one drama class and what do we do we write them off is like oh you just want to be a
00:50:02.420famous actor oh what you're missing the pulling i can participate in gym without wanting to be a
00:50:08.280famous basketball player. I don't see why it's the same thing. And I would like to add that
00:50:16.280when you don't fit in, especially as a kid, in the normal avenues, you tend to fall to the arts.
00:50:27.640If everything doesn't feel right to you, the arts attract the weirdos and the loners and the losers
00:50:34.920and the nerds, the nerds who aren't good at math, the nerds who don't feel comfortable among the
00:50:40.040mathletes, the fans, the musicians, whatever it is. That's what the arts attracts. And what
00:50:47.160you're providing for them is a home and a sense of belonging and something that says, yes, you
00:50:53.420belong. You have a group of friends. You have people that both want to make fun of the jocks
00:50:58.420together just like the jocks makes fun of you and when there is when there's no place to go
00:51:05.860you feel alone and when you feel alone we know what happens and it's not good and especially now
00:51:12.900you know these these kids that shoot up the schools are very rarely um
00:51:22.180i don't even want to say it i just wish that everyone had a place that they could go where
00:51:25.620they could feel a sense of belonging i think that's a per yeah i know exactly what you're
00:51:29.700getting at and i'm gonna say they very rarely have us have a place where they feel like they're
00:51:35.220included that they're loved that they're respected that they're empowered right i mean isolation
00:51:43.300is the most devastating thing that you could do to or endure as a person is feeling like i there
00:53:28.020I mean, it's necessary. So when people who are deprived of it go the other route, I think it's almost expected. What else are you supposed to do?
00:53:39.720they say that by two years old if um an infant doesn't have a person they connect to and can
00:53:48.040trust they you know it doesn't have to be a parent doesn't have to be biological if a if a child
00:53:54.520zero to two doesn't make an intimate connection with with another human person that feels like
00:54:00.800they're going to take care of them and they feel safe that the probability of that child ever
00:54:06.780feeling safe with anybody ever is minimal at best. I believe it. There's a broken aspect there.
00:54:17.200And so again, when we don't talk about emotional intelligence, when we don't have robust centers
00:54:24.800to take care of kids, to train and help parents, to do all of the things in the fundamental way,
00:54:33.060rather than just making sure a kid gets born, making sure a kid feels loved and we don't put
00:54:42.280poor money into it, poor money into it, then we're doing a disservice to all of society.
00:54:48.140And we wonder why crime rates are this. And we wonder why healthcare people aren't taking care
00:54:53.340of themselves. And we wonder why they're not having healthy relationships and healthy dynamics
00:54:59.240within there. There it is. There it is. And we think everybody's supposed to what? Just naturally
00:55:05.980get how to do all of this when in actuality, they were raised by parents who didn't know how to do
00:55:11.620it, didn't have emotional intelligence. Just like you said, they were raised by parents who barked
00:55:17.120all the time and everybody wonders why we're barking. Right? And then here we are. So when
00:55:24.440people talk about how to change the world, it's quite simple. It's going to take a minute.
00:55:29.660Pour, and I mean poor, pour money into early childhood education, healthy parenting classes,
00:55:39.320access for parents in order to develop those emotional skills, money for, I guess, agencies
00:55:48.320in order to make sure that kids are safe and protected and loved in their home, in their
00:55:53.160schools, in all of their community places. The world will change in a minute.
00:56:01.860I agree. Where do we get the money? I say we ask Elon.
00:56:08.640I don't know if he's good for it right now. Isn't that amazing to see? It's just wild.
00:56:14.400It really is. It really, it's because of the ego that comes with it all. Nobody wants to see
00:56:21.480anybody fail. But man, when you come in with, don't worry, I got free speech, I'm going to
00:56:26.560protect all of you. And then you really, you know, show us what you're not capable of. It's
00:56:32.760unfortunate. I love, because it's almost always true, especially in art where someone is not what
00:56:41.920you expect them to be. And I find that to be, because it's almost always not what you assume.
00:56:48.800like it's always the people that come off as very nice that in reality aren't it's often the people
00:56:53.420that play the villains that are really the sweetest it's not always true but it does it does
00:56:58.140happen and i love this man that we all assumed was superhuman in his intelligence just flaming
00:57:05.540out in such embarrassingly simple ways that anyone on twitter knows oh you can't do that
00:57:10.460oh you shouldn't do that and just to see him completely mess to see the bubble that he lives
00:57:15.740and just be exposed and to see what happens when no one is honest with you. It's riveting.
00:57:22.940Well, what I find, and this goes back to pretense, what I find is that
00:57:27.900we operate in this world so much in stereotype and we take away legitimacy and we give legitimacy
00:57:42.180consistently for all the wrong reasons. The way somebody looks, how much money they make,
00:57:51.060how they've done in business, what their relationships look like, obviously all the
00:57:58.780other things like skin color and religion and sex and all of that too. And we constantly think
00:58:04.560that our stereotypes, both positive and negative, are on the mark and are a clear indicator of all
00:58:11.660of that and then i think people start believing it of themselves yeah yeah because i have this
00:58:20.160i am more important because i am this i have more value i i people should listen to me more
00:58:29.540and and the reality is it's all people can be brilliant and have a brilliant run
00:58:38.960in a very narrow stream of life. And that does not translate to everything else in the world.
00:58:46.740And yet here we are handing power to presidents because we think they know how to run a business
00:58:51.960to, you know, guys worth 300 billion because we think they figured it out and he's going to go
00:58:58.700to Mars and he's going to, you know, to athletes because they can hit a ball real far. And we're
00:59:06.040like he has something magic. I don't know where it comes from. I don't know if it's an American
00:59:13.380thing, if it's a human thing. I don't know if it's because of Disney or religion, but we clearly as
00:59:20.240human beings desperately want to believe that others are simply born better. We want to believe
00:59:26.540in that. And it's weird because we broke away from kingdoms, but we believe in royalty more
00:59:31.920than anyone else we believe because your last name is this you are great we believe you were born
00:59:37.100here you are great for we want to believe that we'll give someone with a last name that we
00:59:43.620recognize so much so many chances to fail because there are prints will give them so many chances
00:59:50.840to fail i've been bombarded i think because um i named the dog charles the algorithm thinks i'm
00:59:57.320really into king charles and i want to see lots of king charles so i'm just i get these videos all
01:00:02.600the time and they're they're fascinating one that came up recently was this i think it was probably
01:00:08.520in the 80s in an assassination attempt on prince charles and you see him standing there and
01:00:17.000someone runs up from the crowd and you can see the reaction in real time where the the security
01:00:25.080jump into action and charles is just as a human instinctively just disgusted at this person like
01:00:34.980his first response was not for his safety it was ew oh my god what is that you see his face
01:00:41.180recoil in like ew what what on earth is that you're just like a peasant like more just what
01:00:49.280is that peasant doing near me then aware of his own safety and his disgust with this person kind
01:00:55.960of as they're pushing him away he's still like oh yeah god you know and we accept that we we welcome
01:01:03.240that we encourage it yes you are better than us get rid of that guy you were born into it you just
01:01:09.680must have it whatever that is we want to believe in it i don't know where it comes from do you
01:01:14.360all i can keep all i think about when i talk about stuff like this is superman i i think um
01:01:21.720you know i i like quite literally the comic book superman but but not the notion that he has all
01:01:27.860these superpowers and he can save us and that's brilliant and yes everybody kind of wants that
01:01:32.120because very thomas hobbs willing to give up everything for for safety and security but what
01:01:38.000I think really intrigues us all about Superman is that he always does the right thing. He always
01:01:44.500does what is just. He always does. He always makes the choice about what is good for everybody. And
01:01:53.300I think they tried to mimic this a little bit with Captain America and Civil War, like that same kind
01:01:58.380of idea is that they won't do what people necessarily want them to do. They will do the
01:02:06.940right thing. And I think because as humans, I don't know how much we struggle with the right
01:02:12.700thing. I think we struggle with the right thing versus what we're going to get. And I don't think
01:02:18.640we like that self. I don't think we like that part of ourselves. As much as we'd like to
01:02:23.380excommunicate it, I think the part of ourselves, because I think we're always shameful of it,
01:02:29.760that does what's in our best interest rather than does the right thing.
01:02:34.000it's like i'm gonna do it because it's gonna help me but then i'm gonna go watch superman
01:02:40.600in hopes that somebody else is gonna do better than i just did i think that's it i think it's
01:02:45.580our human a bit of a human nature to just deify to to deify in the hopes of
01:02:55.080to deify in the hopes that greatness exists because if it is if it exists
01:03:02.340excited I can't even speak if it exists outside of ourselves maybe possibly it can exist inside
01:03:10.420of me oh I hope so I hope that's where it comes from and I think religion is the same way I mean
01:03:16.700it gets mutated and but I think the underlying philosophy of every faith is something quite
01:03:25.460beautiful right is is the golden rule is the is the self-sacrifice for the greater good thing and
01:03:34.820we would love to be that and we struggle with ourselves to be that and maybe some days we make
01:03:41.140better choices than others but i do believe and this is my obviously optimistic um i believe that
01:03:50.620people are for the most part inherently beautiful and good and they want good things for people and
01:04:00.600I think the more connections and the more emotional intelligence and the more intimacy we can achieve
01:04:07.300with each other the better we all get and I think that's a fundamental truth I know other people
01:04:14.960would say humans are mostly selfish blah blah blah I think we're selfish when we lack intimacy
01:04:19.400and we lack connection, I think it's easy to be selfish. Right? But when we get it,
01:04:26.700it's just like issues of race fall away when you get to know people, truly get to know people
01:04:34.200of different races. Issues of hatred and bigotry melt when you get to know people
01:04:41.660from whatever community you used to prejudicially stereotype.
01:04:50.180And it's just the way, and that's why I think connection is so important. And that's why I
01:04:54.420think, you know, the premise of divide and conquer has always been so incredibly powerful,
01:04:59.680because if you stop human beings from truly connecting with each other, they're real easy
01:05:06.220to manipulate and control and fashion into things right well it's like the fast food of control the
01:05:13.900if you really want to get a group of people together and you don't have the best message
01:05:18.680the quickest way to do that is to simply exclude another group and then that group will come
01:05:23.460together a hundred percent and say they're going to take something from you they're they're they're
01:05:28.320after something from you but don't worry we will rally together i will protect you yeah and we will
01:05:34.680forge a safer, more, you know, all of those things. And every time I talk about stuff like
01:05:42.200this, I think about the, it was World War II when, when they played, well, no, it was World War I.
01:05:48.200I get it mixed up. When they played football on Christmas day or something, like they put down
01:05:53.220there, can you imagine? You put down your guns and your tanks on the 25th of December and you
01:06:02.560have a game of football what and then on the 26th you went back to shooting each other
01:06:09.920that happened recently i don't know what happened in the ukraine when russia was yes oh no forgive
01:06:17.520me when russia was um accessing when they took uh what was the city kiev kiev yeah when they
01:06:26.960took their long all the time yes there's you can watch it's called i think it's called the red
01:06:31.360piano there was all this destruction and the russian forces and the ukraine forces and they're
01:06:36.480at this point and they would sleep at night and get up in the morning and go back to killing each
01:06:40.880other and amid all of this rubble was a piano that remained upright and someone from either side0.92
01:06:48.800would play this piano at night every night so they were like i'm gonna kill you in the morning
01:06:55.120but let's just listen to some sonatas together as we sleep at night and this was recently for me0.59
01:06:59.840a combination of what you've just said in that freaking football game that i can never get out
01:07:04.960of my head that that's a movie why has no one made that movie why has nobody talked about1.00
01:07:11.620that piece because that's the piece of war and destruction and all the stupid crap we do0.99
01:07:18.280that's the piece that saves us what do we do we make movies about bombing shit left right and1.00
01:07:24.120center but we don't make movies about that piano but that piano is the future right that's it let's0.55
01:07:31.320write the screenplay there is i believe it's a short documentary called the red piano or something
01:07:37.020i don't know if it had any kind of release i know it was submitted to slam dance it might be on
01:07:41.580youtube at some point i'm sure you can read about it but yeah it's either because people don't want
01:07:46.560to see films like that there's no money in them or they just don't know about it i think yeah i
01:07:51.800I'm going to go find it. We're going to watch it. I just feel like it's just,
01:07:57.780we spend so much time talking about what motivates
01:08:04.640destruction and violence and hate. And we spend no time talking about how do we motivate,
01:08:14.060how do we inspire peace and connectivity