Unlearn16: Class is in Session - The One Where I Tell You My Hat Size, My Secrets AND The Chicken Story

00:00:00.000 classes in session how you doing and welcome to unlearn 16 classes in session guys we're back

00:00:09.720 but you just get me you just get me and i have a list of something like 40 questions that i'm

00:00:16.860 going to try to get through um if i don't get through them all maybe i'll do a part two but

00:00:22.100 you guys sent me a plethora a diversity of questions if you will some of them are deep

00:00:28.260 and serious and touching and meaningful, and others, well, yeah, they're just not so much.

00:00:36.220 So we're going to go into all of them, though, because I think they all have value.

00:00:41.260 First and foremost, somebody asked me, if I could fly or be invisible, what would I choose?

00:00:49.820 And my answer is clear, easy, not even a thought in my head, I want to fly.

00:00:55.180 I want to fly because that feeling, I think, and that power and that sense of like an unlimited potential, I think is the coolest thing ever.

00:01:08.020 Now, do I think if I was invisible, what could I do with that power?

00:01:11.260 Yeah, but that might go to my dark side a little bit.

00:01:13.740 I don't like to play to my dark side.

00:01:15.660 I like to play to my nice, loving side.

00:01:18.640 So I'm going to choose flight.

00:01:21.000 Are you ready?

00:01:21.420 All right.

00:01:22.660 Question number two.

00:01:24.500 I said some of them are deep. Here we go, guys. You ready? How would you inspire those who have

00:01:29.320 suppressed childhood trauma start working on their issues? So many kids get stuck in the cycle

00:01:35.160 and can't break free. How do you help them find self-love? Guys, listen. I read that question

00:01:43.520 and I was like overwhelmed because you've just described the hardest thing and the most important

00:01:53.360 thing that a teacher will ever try to do. As a teacher, we understand that I can't do anything

00:02:03.120 in my job unless that kid, that student has a level of confidence, a level of self-love.

00:02:11.020 And the more that I come up against things with kids, I know that it's coming from trauma.

00:02:16.960 And the hard part for a teacher, it's different than a therapist. Well, two things. Number one,

00:02:20.740 I'm not a therapist. So I admit that. I embrace that. When kids come to me with big issues,

00:02:27.140 I tell them, like, I am not a therapist. So if we can find somebody that is to help you through

00:02:33.800 your problems and help you through this trauma, do it. The second problem of a teacher is probably

00:02:39.900 even harder than the first. We can recognize we're not trained. We can get them help if they're up

00:02:44.820 for it. Most kids, one of two things, they won't tell you about their trauma or, and I don't know

00:02:54.020 which one's harder to deal with on my end, or they haven't recognized it as trauma.

00:03:03.600 And not recognizing the trauma is probably for me the most difficult because I can't even get

00:03:10.640 at it ever because the student hasn't recognized it. So I can't deal with any of the foundational

00:03:18.720 stuff. I can't. I can't deal with what happened. I'm not a therapist. I'd never try to be a

00:03:24.240 therapist. And a lot of the times they're just coming at me with symptoms of trauma.

00:03:29.040 So the best thing I can possibly do is handle the symptom and try my best to find strategies to help minimize their defense, minimize their possible anger, frustration, minimize their reaction to me in order to crack a window.

00:03:55.000 so that I can do what that kid needs, which is to build any level of trust,

00:04:02.760 any level of trust. It could be this much, but building that is goal one. And then goal two,

00:04:13.560 and if I can do that, sometimes I do that through, I do it a lot through TV and movies. I know that

00:04:18.520 sounds weird or that sounds silly, but it's a matter of like finding a way in, right? Finding

00:04:25.380 the crack in the window, finding a way to connect with that kid. And a lot of the times the shows

00:04:32.660 they watch, their favorite movies, their favorite music gives windows if you pay attention. And you

00:04:38.520 can talk about their issues sometimes without talking about their issues because they'll let

00:04:43.960 you talk about movies and television characters or music lyrics as though it's separate from

00:04:51.520 them. And if you can do that and do that in a thoughtful and meaningful way, you get the

00:04:58.640 crack you're looking for. You get the sliver of hope. You get them looking at you a little

00:05:04.260 bit different. And then the only thing I can do is figure out what they're passionate about

00:05:10.240 and build their confidence to be successful and to be powerful in that.

00:05:18.380 And if I have to stay metaphoric in the land of their favorite television show and movie,

00:05:23.820 that's cool. I'll do that. But what I found is eventually, eventually, if you hang out long

00:05:31.380 enough, if you build the right clubs and the right team environment and you ensure the

00:05:37.740 The atmosphere of your school is healthy and positive and you can find different ways.

00:05:45.580 And at the end of the day, the kid might not connect with me the way that, you know, they need to to divulge anything.

00:05:53.160 That's cool. Usually I can also, in my position, figure out what teacher or what other individual they can connect with, what other students sometimes.

00:06:02.800 the hardest part about being a teacher in that situation is you can't well first of all I don't

00:06:11.300 think I can save anyone but sometimes it's not about what I can do it's about what I can facilitate

00:06:17.220 it's about me getting out of the way it's about me building a bridge so they can get to the next

00:06:22.100 person that they need who's really going to help and then it's to always be there when you say

00:06:28.860 you're going to be there. To never break a promise, to hold true to your word, to hold true

00:06:36.740 to the consequences of their actions, as well as the positives or the benefits of great actions.

00:06:47.040 And that takes time. And the saddest thing for me is when I see a kid come into my school and

00:06:52.720 leave before we can do that. Or leave and we haven't been able to do it because we couldn't

00:07:01.840 find the right window. I couldn't find the right way to get in. But it's probably one of the most

00:07:09.540 important jobs that I have. All right. Well, that was an easy one. Here we go. All right. Look, I

00:07:17.200 didn't put these in any particular order, by the way. So it's going to feel fairly fragmented, but

00:07:21.520 I kind of like it. What made you realize you were gay? I have a joke answer for that, but

00:07:30.600 I guess, I mean, I absolutely fell for my, in retrospect, the team captain of my volleyball

00:07:38.980 team when I was in high school. Nobody was out. Nobody was gay. Nothing happened. But

00:07:43.420 in retrospect, I'm like, oh my God, I want to walk through fire for her. I didn't realize

00:07:50.440 really realize until I was at York University walking the picket line and everybody around me

00:07:57.140 kept using the word partner and I'm like why is everybody at York University gay back then

00:08:02.360 everybody used partner they were being supportive but I thought everybody was you know was gay um

00:08:08.840 and when I finally I didn't come out right then but I it was the amazing part was getting to know

00:08:15.140 people of all different backgrounds who were comfortable with who they were, who were comfortable

00:08:20.500 with where they stood, who, if they were straight, said the word partner because they knew what kind

00:08:26.100 of an ally that made them and how important that was for support and empowering a group of people

00:08:34.500 that have been oppressed for so incredibly long. And the more I became friends with this group,

00:08:38.580 found out pretty much nobody was gay. They were just amazingly intelligent political people.

00:08:45.140 I went to a party. I got to the party. And I met a person who stood in her identity

00:08:55.200 prouder and sure and with as much boisterous kind of confidence as I could have ever possibly

00:09:04.940 hoped. And I think I was drawn to that. So I was drawn to that. And that ended up being my

00:09:13.280 first girlfriend. It didn't bode well, but it ended up being my first girlfriend. But it was

00:09:18.840 the strength and confidence of being who she was and those people being who they were with no

00:09:28.480 hesitation, with no shame or no embarrassment or anything that was built up to be that. Because

00:09:39.120 when I grew up, obviously coming out wasn't the easiest thing in the world. Um, and I was drawn

00:09:45.120 to that strength and I have nothing but respect for that strength. So when people say to me,

00:09:50.940 why is it important to be out as a teacher? I say that those, those people didn't make me gay.

00:09:56.740 They give me this, they gave me this space to be exactly who I am without fear, without

00:10:03.360 repercussion. And I will spend my entire career making sure that everybody around me knows

00:10:10.760 who I am and how I stand to make space for anybody who needs the space to be made

00:10:17.980 so they can become who they always were. That's my answer for that one. All right.

00:10:27.520 I love this question, by the way. You ready? Number three. Have you ever gone on social

00:10:32.740 media and searched out your exes, including your ex-wife. And does it bother you if they seem

00:10:39.100 happier or more successful? A, of course, of course, everybody's God has searched out their

00:10:48.840 ex. And yes, I have my exes, my ex-wife, a hundred percent, a hundred percent. And the only time

00:10:56.300 anything bothered me, to be perfectly honest, is when I wasn't healed. Right? When I wasn't healed,

00:11:04.060 when I wasn't whole, when I was hurt after the divorce, or when I was hurt after a breakup.

00:11:11.080 Yeah, you want everybody to feel as crappy as you feel. But now, and for quite a while now,

00:11:20.840 um i hope that everybody is happy i hope that everybody finds their path i hope that everybody

00:11:30.660 finds what they're looking for to have a fulfilled life um because what you end up doing after a

00:11:38.700 breakup even after a breakup of a marriage which is freaking horrifically painful and destructive

00:11:44.540 Hopefully at some point you figure out what, who you were in that relationship, how you weren't whole, how you didn't accomplish or, or stand the way you should have stood and how that part is on you.

00:12:03.160 And if I was more me and I stood up and I was more holistically developed and in a healthy, I had healthy boundaries and I had healthy concepts of love and all of those things, guess what?

00:12:18.580 I don't, I don't step into a relationship that destroys me.

00:12:22.420 I don't.

00:12:24.020 And even if a relationship has to end, it wouldn't have destroyed me because I would have been whole, but I wasn't.

00:12:28.940 And so even though at the beginning you're filled with vengeance and rage, that dissipates because I put in the work, I tried to figure out what role I played, and then I looked at that.

00:12:45.960 I took a hard look at that. And I had the beautiful luck of meeting Anna. And she gave me space and had this incredible strength of character and authenticity that allowed me to continue to heal and see maybe some of my failings, maybe some of my limitations.

00:13:09.960 And she was there standing beside me, encouraging me and bolstering me at every chance she got because she knew all of the potential.

00:13:22.320 And I think she really saw my authentic self and was proud and supportive of that.

00:13:28.160 So I lucked out.

00:13:29.880 I lucked out.

00:13:30.800 I started to heal.

00:13:31.740 I started to figure out.

00:13:32.780 And then I met somebody that could have taken advantage of a bit of a broken person.

00:13:36.960 And and instead, she didn't fix me. She didn't fix me. She might have just passed me some glue.

00:13:45.840 She might have she might have just like, you know, given me hints down the path.

00:13:51.760 She every once in a while. But she let me fix myself. And and that was powerful.

00:13:59.520 So I don't have to look at those anymore and think in any other way other than I wish them well.

00:14:06.640 I wish them health, happiness, and whatever I couldn't do, I hope they find somewhere.

00:14:13.880 I know, that's fair.

00:14:15.180 Listen, it's been a long time, guys.

00:14:17.900 It's over three years now.

00:14:19.660 I know I sound healthy, but in all fairness, if you would have asked me this question a

00:14:23.400 long time ago, you would have gotten a rant 17 hours long.

00:14:27.480 So don't think I'm just like the nicest person in the world, because I'm not always.

00:14:33.140 All right.

00:14:33.620 um how can you create resilient adult this is a great question by the way how can you create

00:14:40.960 resilient adults without without them going through the suffering and tribulations that

00:14:45.760 shaped us i don't know here's the thing every single person on this planet are going to go

00:14:55.220 through trials and tribulations it's it's impossible to avoid it's impossible to avoid

00:15:02.400 the things that we went through or the things that you know we nobody needs to go through

00:15:11.320 horrific trauma to learn stuff nobody needs to you know face abuse in their home and i know a

00:15:18.940 lot of people have nobody needs to face you know destitute horrific circumstances to develop

00:15:25.760 character nobody needs that um but the trials and tribulations everybody's going to do that

00:15:32.160 They're going to do it at their own time and their own pace, and it's going to happen.

00:15:36.920 And here's the reason.

00:15:39.800 When we risk anything, when we risk our hearts, when we risk our minds, when we risk our autonomy,

00:15:48.660 when we risk love, there's possibility and probability of that failing, of us losing

00:15:57.940 something.

00:15:58.420 And when we lose something, that crash and burn, that's our trial, that's our tribulation.

00:16:06.380 Nobody gets everything they want.

00:16:08.200 Nobody's life goes smooth and perfect.

00:16:10.800 That's not the point.

00:16:12.120 The point of a parent, I think, the point of, you know, and I look to my mom often for this,

00:16:18.300 the point of a parent is to be, not to wrap us in bubbles so we don't get hurt,

00:16:24.660 but is to be there to put the band-aid on or drive us to emerge and sleep in one of those

00:16:33.760 hospital chairs while we get better. And that's both literal and metaphoric. That's the job. And

00:16:40.900 if you have people, forget it, even if you have one person in your life that will always sleep

00:16:47.820 in the chair in the hospital room, you'll be good. Your kids will be good. That's all we need

00:16:56.840 because you can't, there's no bubble wrap created to stop it. But if they know you're always sleeping

00:17:02.780 in that chair, you will graze the most powerful, impressive, confident superstar on this planet.

00:17:09.980 it. That's what kids need. All right. Next one. Did you watch the Grammys? I told you guys,

00:17:20.060 these are all over the place. No, I did not. Although now I just want to watch that whole

00:17:24.200 devil thing because it's really, really pissed off Ben Shapiro and Matt Walsh. I also think

00:17:31.620 it's hysterical. Yay, Sam. I'm just going to buy his album just for that presentation alone.

00:17:37.200 uh number seven what fueled your passion for streetwear my childhood I think it's just a

00:17:46.740 reversion right the and I and I happen to be wearing uh if you're not watching I'm wearing

00:17:51.640 a purple hoodie and a purple hat on backwards at the moment I it's what I'm comfortable in

00:17:57.260 when I look in the mirror I I see my now I do get dressed up and I also like the vibe when I'm

00:18:03.580 dressed up and I see aspects of me it's like we all have versions of ourselves that we like

00:18:10.520 different ideas of ourselves at different times meanwhile the hoodie the baggy jeans the right

00:18:18.500 pair of kicks the sideways backwards hat is the most me the most often it's set it is it is the

00:18:26.700 clearest reflection i think of how i see me to i don't know how else to describe that

00:18:34.780 um and obviously it has a lot to do with growing up in the 80s and early 90s of course all of that

00:18:40.760 would have been you know and nowadays it's back in so people are like wow look at joanna so

00:18:46.280 stylish i'm it's just luck that i'm stylish right now this is just who i am i think it's you know

00:18:52.100 Give me five or 10 years, people will be like, what the hell is that kid wearing? Possibly, but I'll still be wearing it. Don't you worry about a thing.

00:18:59.360 I also love, I think I become more, I'll try a lot of things too. Like a lot of things like I would never wear before. I'm like, I'm going to give it a go. I'm going to see what it looks like. And I've kind of shocked myself.

00:19:12.420 I think fashion sometimes is a way of finding caveats of your personality that you never knew existed until you put it on and you saw a reflection where you're like, oh, that feels authentic.

00:19:24.100 Sometimes you got to be uncomfortable, physically uncomfortable, to test out all those boundaries.

00:19:32.340 Has Anna taught me French?

00:19:37.640 She'd kill me if she... 1.00

00:19:42.420 Un petit peu. Do you and Anna want kids? We talked about it. We said we both would like

00:19:53.440 at least one, but I'm a little long in the tooth, guys. And Anna, it would have to be her egg and I

00:20:00.980 would have to be the one that carried. And considering I can barely shovel my driveway,

00:20:07.000 I don't know if I can physically take that on. And then being the age I'm at, raising a child,

00:20:15.720 which I would want to give so much, well, all my attention to really. But at this point in my life

00:20:22.920 and my career, it's like I'm getting busier and busier by the second. And I don't think I'd be

00:20:30.240 able to devote the time I would, well, that, that any good parent would want to devote, right?

00:20:36.840 So I'm just going to have to work on being an amazing aunt and, uh, and to my friend's kids,

00:20:44.680 to, you know, Anna's and my, uh, nephews, to everybody I can possibly sort of gather in my,

00:20:52.560 my brood. I'll just spoil the heck out of them, get them all hyped up on sugar and then come

00:20:58.620 home and do a podcast. My coming out story. Well, I kind of already told that, right? I met this

00:21:05.460 girl. I met a girl. I had to go see about a girl. That's it. That's it, really. And as soon as I met

00:21:12.960 her, within weeks, I told everybody in my family, except for my grandma. You guys heard that.

00:21:20.600 My mom hated her before she even knew that I was dating her, but she maybe knew under

00:21:27.800 you know um and my mom and I fought for about a year and I and I don't know if it's as much about

00:21:35.300 the being gay or me coming out but we had a really we had a hard time of it I think the thing was

00:21:41.260 when I came out at like 24 however old I was I think the thing was um or 25 I think the notion

00:21:51.040 that my mom thought I was hiding something from her because everybody was so surprised that I was

00:21:59.840 gay. And then she thought I'd been hiding it from her all those years, or I've been hiding it for

00:22:06.600 a long time. And I think she felt, well, I know she felt kind of betrayed because she thought she

00:22:10.700 was a really good, supportive mom. And then for me not to tell her that, but I also think that

00:22:19.380 But I never went through a rebellious stage when I was a kid. So I never was like, you know, at 16 years old, sneaking out of the house and staying out. I never was that kid. We never had fights then. There was nothing big that happened at my house.

00:22:37.940 And I think at some point, I hate to tell parents this who haven't gone through it, kids need to have something big and monumental that causes that fracture.

00:22:50.060 not that it's not going to heal because it will heal but it needs to cause the fracture so they

00:22:56.000 can really stand on their own and and stand in opposition um in order to formulate in order to

00:23:05.420 step into their their own being their own selves and i think i waited a very long time in order to

00:23:13.320 do that uh what made you we're on question 11 by the way we're definitely gonna have to do two

00:23:21.260 parts this is insane what made you want to become a teacher i have no idea my uncle is a science

00:23:27.720 teacher he's brilliant he's a physics teacher i remember watching him teach physics and the people

00:23:33.540 physics these kids were on the edge of their seats he made it spontaneous and funny and he's

00:23:41.200 brilliant. So he explains it well, but his classroom, it was like people wanted to be

00:23:46.400 there and they wanted to learn. And I remember wanting to be that. Um, when I became a teacher,

00:23:52.780 I don't know if it was so much my goal. I think I thought I'm going to, I think I thought that's

00:23:58.800 so much of a teacher. I'm going to try a teacher's college. I'll go, I'll try to be a teacher. If I

00:24:04.140 don't like it, I have my master's. I'll go back to school and get my PhD. That was my thought

00:24:09.640 process. I didn't know teaching was who I was until I stepped into the classroom.

00:24:16.920 And as soon as I stepped into the classroom, I'm like, that's it. That's who I am. I'm good to go.

00:24:25.420 When are we getting, when Anna and I getting married? I don't know. I don't know. This summer,

00:24:32.300 we're trying our best. You know what? We're just trying our best to figure out what the best

00:24:37.360 possible plan is. We might have a couple of surprises in the, in the, I don't know, near

00:24:45.520 future. And so I'm trying to make space for that as well. So I don't really know when. I feel like

00:24:54.460 I'm married already though, to be honest. And she does want everybody to wear neon suspenders. So 0.67

00:25:01.440 technically we're still fighting about that. Do I have any siblings who identify as you?

00:25:08.760 I'm assuming what this question meant. Do I have any siblings who are gay? I'm an only child.

00:25:15.440 I do not. All of my cousins are, from what I know, straight. So I'm it. I'm the diamond in

00:25:25.740 they're rough in the whole family. I'm the, you know that when it's like, oh, the gay cousin, 1.00

00:25:31.460 I'm the problem. It's me. Hi, I'm the pro. I like that. So I'm a bit of an original in my family. 0.87

00:25:42.360 How do I set up my phone in my car for story times? I have two placements for my phone in

00:25:48.840 my car. One is on my dash, just to the left of the center console, so I get the right light,

00:25:55.800 guys. The reason why I'm in my car all the time isn't to show off my car, which apparently a lot

00:26:01.300 of people think that's what I'm trying to do. It's because, I'm going to tell you guys, just

00:26:05.160 between me and you, it is the best lighting of all time. So that's why you set up in your car.

00:26:12.900 If it's sunny outside, you're going to get the best lighting. Or on the passenger door, I lean it

00:26:18.680 on the armrest. And I lean it and I tilt it up just a little bit. And again, I do that depending

00:26:25.560 on when the best lighting is, where it's coming from, how I catch it. And that's it.

00:26:33.700 Sometimes the car too, because I can't do it. Sometimes in school, it's too noisy or I can't

00:26:40.680 focus. So I'll go get a coffee and then I'll do it from the car. And I like the quiet. So that

00:26:46.660 could be it, but it's all about the lighting, folks. Never forget that. People ask you,

00:26:50.880 what's the most important part of video? Lighting. All right. What is my biggest regret?

00:27:01.640 I, you know why I hate regrets? I hate talking about regrets because A, you can't go back,

00:27:10.180 But B, I'm incredibly happy with where I am and where I stand right this minute and who I am.

00:27:19.340 I know that sometimes I wish that I could have figured myself out a little bit quicker, that I didn't stay married for as long in something that obviously wasn't healthy and powerfully beneficial for me.

00:27:33.980 And I wish I recognized that and was able to negotiate that.

00:27:37.140 But I think my learning curve is long. I think I needed, as much as I would have liked to have learned that lesson, my marriage lesson in half the time, I think my stubborn head needed the 10, 11 years for me to really come to terms with where it was my fault.

00:28:01.180 I know that sounds weird

00:28:03.340 why would I want it to be my fault

00:28:04.880 well you need to figure out

00:28:07.600 and I've said this a million times

00:28:09.140 I needed to figure out

00:28:10.960 what love was and what a healthy

00:28:13.500 boundary looked like

00:28:14.780 because prior to that I had no boundaries

00:28:17.480 I thought love was complete

00:28:19.460 and utter sacrifice

00:28:20.940 and I think

00:28:23.360 it was going to take me

00:28:25.060 the 11

00:28:27.580 like as much as I had

00:28:29.640 to go through, as hard as what I had to go through was, I think it needed to take me pretty much that

00:28:34.300 entire time. Would I like time back? Sure. I'd like my back not to hurt so much. But see, when you say

00:28:43.960 what's my biggest regret, my mind, I know it sounds ridiculous, but it always goes to my mom.

00:28:49.760 If I could have changed anything, if I could have made her go to the doctor earlier, found the

00:28:55.400 cancer earlier like she's doing well now but i would have loved if i could have just you know

00:29:01.220 because like she just avoided the doctor and if i could have just been like nope we're going let's 0.98

00:29:05.700 go we're getting all the tests done you know i can be a really big pain in the ass but i wasn't 0.99

00:29:10.740 a pain in the ass enough obviously to make her go and get tested because if we would have caught 0.99

00:29:18.120 it earlier every every road she's had to go down would have just been easier and um 0.99

00:29:25.400 I would... There we go. I wish I was a bigger pain in the ass.

00:29:30.580 Don't let my mom hear this. She'll cry. All right. What's my hat size? It's a seven. 1.00

00:29:36.060 My fitted hat size is a seven, folks. I've had lots of people send me hats. You guys are lovely.

00:29:43.160 You're all trying to make me rep your team. I love it. How many takes does it take to get a video

00:29:50.200 perfect guys i'm gonna tell you this my best performing videos take me one or two takes

00:30:00.120 if i have to struggle because i can't get the words out or because it's too much to memorize

00:30:06.440 or whatever i should just put it down and put it away because when it doesn't come authentically

00:30:12.440 out of my mouth, then you, you guys can tell, you guys can tell. And it's not about it being

00:30:20.240 perfect. It's about it being authentic. So if, when I tap into authenticity and I just go on a

00:30:27.840 rant and it just spills out and it's easy and I get it done once and I might've made a mistake or

00:30:32.700 two, I'm telling you right now, those are the ones that do the best because I believe that those

00:30:37.320 people can see, forget the story, forget the message, but people see authenticity. And I

00:30:42.460 think that's what people are drawn to, right? Nobody wants production. Nobody wants somebody

00:30:47.700 putting it on. And I'm never really putting it on. It's just sometimes when I'm talking about

00:30:52.280 big issues, it's hard to remember all of the different elements that I want to speak about

00:30:56.980 and then still have a natural kind of vibe about it. So to answer your question, all the good ones,

00:31:07.320 They took one time. All the bad ones, they took 417. I have beautiful eyes. Well, thank you so

00:31:14.920 much. Where do you get them from? Your mom, my mom, and my dad. I don't know if my dad's eyes

00:31:19.640 are more inset like mine are. And my dad and mom's eyes are very similar in color.

00:31:26.700 My mom's are probably a little bit more on the gray side and my dad's are a little bit more on

00:31:30.420 the blue side. So it was a joint effort. I appreciate both their genetic structures.

00:31:36.700 To the future teachers, what do you believe we should strive to do and be like? You. Honestly,

00:31:46.400 you. Everybody talks about teachers being objective. First of all, it doesn't exist.

00:31:56.720 but subjectively who you are matters how you open up how you connect how you display the information

00:32:07.160 how you try to engage students all of the different methodologies that you will use you

00:32:13.380 are a part of a bigger puzzle not every kid's going to connect with you not every kid's going 0.97

00:32:18.060 to find you fascinating and brilliant some are going to think you're a jackass that's cool

00:32:22.260 because you're not there to necessarily connect perfectly with every single kid. 0.95

00:32:29.540 You're there to offer a conduit.

00:32:32.120 You're there to do whatever you can do and who you can be authentically

00:32:37.240 so they can see you standing there authentically.

00:32:41.700 And no matter if you teach physics or chemistry or history or art or music,

00:32:48.080 It's your authentic presence and your love of what you do and your passion for what you do that they're going to remember.

00:32:56.800 There's a lot of kids that walk away and never want to take a history class from me and never take history again, but they connected to me.

00:33:03.120 They took a piece of who I am and rolled it into the idea and the reality that they get to be whoever they are.

00:33:16.060 they get to be that person, stand strong, stand tall, stand powerful. That's it. That's our job.

00:33:24.260 And the way you do that is you create space by being you. I hope you guys understand that. I

00:33:29.820 feel like I'm rambling a bit, but. Who inspired me to be an educator? Well, my uncle. Who did I

00:33:37.080 not want to be like? I never liked teachers. And I didn't, I didn't realize this when I was a kid,

00:33:44.600 But you know, those teachers that are like, well, my, they're two different people.

00:33:49.780 They stand in front of the classroom and they're this, I teach, you know, whatever course

00:33:55.460 and I do it perfectly, but the kids never get to know any of who I am.

00:34:00.100 I'm not talking about wanting to tell kids my life story, but who I am matters.

00:34:06.180 And I never saw the point in dividing those two.

00:34:08.980 A lot of people will tell me like, they'll say, Joanna, do you get in trouble at your

00:34:12.340 school? 0.57

00:34:12.680 Because you do TikToks.

00:34:13.740 I'm like, this is me.

00:34:17.120 You guys see me on this podcast, on TikTok.

00:34:21.060 I'm the exact same person in the classroom at a dinner party.

00:34:24.400 I'd be the exact same person sitting across the dinner table from the Prime Minister of Canada.

00:34:28.860 This would be me.

00:34:31.400 So I don't love the sectioning off of personhood.

00:34:37.220 I don't like it in any capacity.

00:34:39.560 I think any time you put on a new shell to fit in or to come off as something else, I'm not a fan.

00:34:50.300 I'm just not a fan.

00:34:52.340 And I wouldn't be in a career where I had to consistently sort of camouflage myself like that.

00:35:00.500 So that's what I don't like.

00:35:01.940 I don't like those kind of teachers.

00:35:04.080 Which tattoo means the most?

00:35:07.860 I don't know.

00:35:09.020 You know what? You can't see. Oh, I love this. This little X and O, people are going to be like,

00:35:14.520 why that one? Lou and I decided to play tic-tac-toe while I was getting tattooed. The

00:35:19.840 reason why I love it is because Lou is one of my best friends. She did beautiful artwork all over

00:35:24.780 my body. But that one was us just having fun in a permanent way on my body. And there's something

00:35:35.620 for me that's like incredibly authentic in that experience, like that ties me, Lou did all my

00:35:43.660 tattoos, but this one is her just as much as it's me in a way. And, and I love that. I love that

00:35:52.560 sort of moment that we were able to share. My first tattoo and my most painful, I have unlearn,

00:35:59.320 unlearn right down my rib cage. I got it at 33. That was my first tattoo.

00:36:03.180 Um, yeah. And, and my rib cage is pretty well exposed. I don't have a lot of extra

00:36:10.300 whatever there. So it was, it was lovely to sort of scrape along my rib cage for like

00:36:17.720 four hours by far. How did Ann and I meet on TikTok, baby? I stood in the bathroom right

00:36:25.220 over there. I did a TikTok rant about things that I deal breakers in relationships. One of them

00:36:31.140 being don't clap the plane lands. She saw that I was wearing, oh my God, guys, I was wearing what

00:36:37.980 I'm wearing right now, except I had on a jean jacket, very Justin Bieber. And she DM me on

00:36:46.000 Instagram. And this was her first line. Are you ready, guys? She said, hey, you're killing the

00:36:52.040 TikTok game. And me and my overinflated ego at 5,000 people following me, I was like, thanks.

00:36:57.920 she had like 40 000 at the time

00:37:01.960 i like a strong atta girl guys listen it's my love language atta girl that's it she gave me

00:37:12.200 my love language she didn't compliment me on my aesthetic because that would have made me

00:37:16.880 uncomfortable she didn't like ask me out right away she didn't you know what i mean she she

00:37:22.220 tapped into my love language, which was attagirl. So there it is. You ever want to get to me?

00:37:30.600 It's all about the attagirls. Can I come to your wedding? Yes. 0.99

00:37:37.400 If you only had 24 hours to live, what would you do? Okay, listen. Of course, I'd spend it with

00:37:43.500 Anna and my family and, you know, but what would I, I would really want to be swimming

00:37:51.960 in the ocean, free diving with humpback whales off the coast of Tonga.

00:37:58.800 That's it.

00:38:00.020 And however it's going to end, it can end with me in that water surrounded by these amazing,

00:38:07.660 beautiful creatures that I just want to be around.

00:38:11.040 Don't tell Anna or my mom.

00:38:13.500 um have i ever thought about dressing more feminine to appease others of course

00:38:19.980 not for a long time um but yeah yeah there's even been people close to me

00:38:28.620 that sort of consistently wanted to push me in that direction uh they're no longer in my life

00:38:36.800 um I've had partners who have like been like oh just try this or just try this or why do you

00:38:43.560 gotta wear hats all the time or your hair like can we just do something about your hair uh and

00:38:49.980 I've succumbed to that a hundred percent I've succumbed and when I was younger obviously I

00:38:55.020 you know I wore dresses and I did what I needed to do even when I was teaching at metro prep even

00:38:59.740 the last 20 years um I would wear dresses to prom I would get dressed up now sometimes part of me

00:39:06.080 would be like I like it because people lose their minds and I don't think it's so incredibly out of

00:39:10.980 my character um but I think it takes you if if you're not going to go with the flow if you're

00:39:22.220 not going to allow to be socialized and sort of just fit into whatever everybody expects you to

00:39:28.800 and it works for you which is cool if it does I think it takes you a long time or took me a long

00:39:34.900 time to fight through all of that inside my head to figure out when I looked in the world and I

00:39:40.820 didn't see myself in a binary, right? I didn't see my, the girl's side, no, the guy's side, no.

00:39:47.920 And then I like this somewhere in between, you know, I like the pink hat, the pink shoes,

00:39:54.040 but the baggy jeans. I like the, let's say Japanese inspired men's clothing that has a

00:40:01.280 feminine slant. It's almost as though I needed to invent me, clothing-wise. And if I had all

00:40:09.880 the money in the world, I would just design stuff, right? That I think, like, because I do like a

00:40:16.560 fitted kind of vibe, but in a very specific way. And it's hard to find that when you don't,

00:40:25.380 you know, when you go into H&M and you really don't want to go into either side of the aisle.

00:40:31.280 Having said that, I do love H&M, but I need them to pull it together.

00:40:35.780 Not everything can be boxy.

00:40:37.420 All about the slim fit.

00:40:41.600 How would I deal with an unsupported administration?

00:40:48.960 That's a hard one.

00:40:49.860 I've worked in such a great school that I don't know what I would do.

00:40:54.940 I think if I was in a unionized environment, that's who I would contact.

00:41:00.900 It depends on what the lack of support looked like, or I'd stop looking for support from them.

00:41:08.660 And I'd start doing what I need to do and ask for forgiveness later.

00:41:14.240 Is that a horrible answer?

00:41:15.720 That might be a horrible answer.

00:41:17.600 Do what you got to do, ask for forgiveness later.

00:41:21.700 I just don't, if you don't have a supportive admin, it is what it is.

00:41:26.100 Talk to your union, try to figure out what you need and why they're not giving it.

00:41:30.900 and then do what you got to do in your classroom to make it work there.

00:41:37.580 Talk to parents, circumvent the admin, and then recognize this.

00:41:45.160 If it's about a particular student, I think at some point you have to recognize

00:41:49.560 you don't get to, and even I can't, you don't get to be the last person

00:42:00.080 that makes the last decision. There's no, there's no final control. And sometimes you have to let

00:42:06.220 go of the battles that aren't worth fighting. And only you're going to be able to know what

00:42:13.500 those battles are. My Saturday morning cartoon list. Come on. Well, the Flintstones were on

00:42:21.560 at lunchtime in the week when I was a kid, but I got, I'm a Smurf kind of girl. Inspector Gadget

00:42:28.420 was kicking around then? G.I. Joe, big fan. He-Man, huge fan. What else was kicking around back then?

00:42:36.800 I would have gone throwback some cartoons too, right? Anything Looney Tunes. If Looney Tunes

00:42:41.780 was on, I was watching it. But I also watched the old Hanna-Barbera, right? Captain Caveman,

00:42:48.540 that whole nine yards. All of those cartoons would have been the best. Can you come dig up

00:42:53.260 the elephant ear. Yes, I'll give you my address. Please come dig it all up because I have no doubt

00:42:59.560 it's growing there again. How do I stay positive teaching in Ontario? I don't work for Doug Ford.

00:43:06.240 I work in a private school. And why do I work in a private school, which is another question,

00:43:12.400 accident. I came out of teaching, teacher's college, and the public system just wasn't hiring.

00:43:21.560 and a friend of a friend said, this school is hiring. Come put your thing in, your resume.

00:43:30.380 I sat down. I fought with Wayne for 40 minutes. I got hired. I've been there for 20 years.

00:43:36.280 So I was lucky. I didn't choose private over public. It wasn't an ethical or moral choice

00:43:42.920 for me in any way, shape or form. And I do support heavily the public system. But I do know

00:43:47.960 that ever since I left high school, our public board has been slowly gutted.

00:43:54.620 Bigger class sizes, less funding for everything.

00:43:58.700 And so working at Metro and being able to see what we get to do there

00:44:05.980 and how I get to relate to students and what the class size does

00:44:10.000 for real education going on in the classroom,

00:44:13.300 I use those actually as arguments for bettering the public school system.

00:44:17.960 but it's going to need a boatload of more money.

00:44:22.200 Do I think DeSantis will become president?

00:44:24.080 Heaven freaking help you.

00:44:26.720 I think he has a good run at Republicans though, guys.

00:44:30.020 Here's my problem.

00:44:32.780 I don't think Biden should run again.

00:44:35.080 I think the Democrats should get a new president,

00:44:38.100 a new candidate

00:44:39.040 because you need somebody who can mop the floor

00:44:43.740 with DeSantis in a debate.

00:44:45.020 And I worry about, he has, I find his politics abhorrent, but he's very intelligent with how he presents them and how he manipulates the voting population.

00:45:01.580 So I have a healthy fear of it.

00:45:06.680 Are we still interested in coming to Dublin?

00:45:08.480 Me, Anna, and Stu, we're all coming to Ireland.

00:45:11.360 I promise you we will figure out that time.

00:45:13.800 will I run for some sort of office?

00:45:16.640 Guys,

00:45:18.700 whose seat would I...

00:45:19.840 What table would I sit at?

00:45:22.700 Right?

00:45:23.320 What am I going to sit?

00:45:24.260 Would I sit with Ford?

00:45:25.800 No.

00:45:27.140 I'm going to sit with liberals?

00:45:28.740 Trudeau?

00:45:30.720 And the NDP, listen,

00:45:32.240 there's...

00:45:33.240 I am drawn to that party

00:45:36.560 sociologically, ethically,

00:45:40.620 for a lot of reasons.

00:45:43.800 they just need to reframe. They need to reframe, and they need to stand firmly on a handful of

00:45:57.000 issues rather than standing on every single issue that's ever been put on the table.

00:46:05.020 You need to have a balance of an economic platform and a social justice idealism.

00:46:10.860 you cannot negate one for the other. And I feel as though the Conservatives negate social justice

00:46:17.060 for the economy. I feel as though the NDP platform negates the economy for social justice.

00:46:25.360 And I feel as though the Liberals, you never quite know which way they're going to fall,

00:46:29.000 and they all make me nervous. And here's another kicker. I don't compromise.

00:46:35.180 I say what I say. I stand where I stand. I'm not going to speak for a party. I'm going to speak

00:46:39.580 for me and if i disagree with the majority of my party am i supposed to be quiet

00:46:47.420 i don't see that happening guys i don't see that which is your favorite hat i think this

00:46:51.980 one right now is my favorite although to be all i really do love the um the big league

00:47:00.700 Chew hat that I have. The Blue Jay one with the Big Lee Chew crossover. You know? And guys,

00:47:10.620 look at this. The last question. The last question. And the last question is this, guys.

00:47:20.960 They want to hear about the chicken story. And listen, and it's not here. It's just me and you

00:47:30.340 and i can finally finally tell you the chicken story that i haven't been able to tell you because

00:47:38.520 anna at every given turn has stopped me telling you the chicken story so here it is picture this

00:47:46.100 we were at loblaws and oh oh hi honey i'm not doing i'm not doing anything i'll be right down

00:47:54.220 i love you same back time same back channel i'll see you guys next week dismissed

Unlearn16: Class is in Session - February 07, 2023

The One Where I Tell You My Hat Size, My Secrets AND The Chicken Story

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