00:26:45.740We're two women here. I happen to be gay, but we're two women here that are speaking to an issue. And I know some people will get prickly about this. That doesn't reflect me. I get that. I 100% get that. So I'm cautious about that in the first place.
00:27:00.420But, but how do we reconcile a comedian's job is to make people laugh and you should never punch down. If you're still making people laugh, and in my head, it immediately comes to Ricky Gervais, because Ricky Gervais will say horribly offensive things about everybody.
00:27:27.080he's got and if you're a white straight dude let's be honest you're always punching down
00:27:31.720pretty much right you're always punching down i joked about about the whole dave chapelle thing
00:27:37.440and i thought well you know he's he's an african-american man living in the united
00:27:41.340states and and this whole trans is he punching laterally at this point i don't know well because
00:27:46.640is he down or well it's it goes back to my example about because that's the thing too like
00:27:51.720when people ask me about it a lot of times i'm like you know as a white white straight presenting
00:27:56.620woman let's i'm uh you know born female identify as female um i i don't feel like i have uh i
00:28:07.260definitely don't have a dog in the fight either do you know what i mean like i definitely don't
00:28:10.680there's and there's no reason for me to you know but in the sense of just taking the um the issue
00:28:16.500which the issue is uh one marginalized group uh attacking another marginalized group now the other
00:28:22.980thing is is that within the other marginalized group there are members of the first marginalized
00:28:27.080group right sure and black trans women are having such a huge issue with what dave chapelle is
00:28:34.420saying and and i feel like that we need to we we really need to listen to them um you know we need
00:28:40.900we need to hear what they're saying and uh i just feel like it's the same thing we were talking
00:28:46.040about earlier it's we've been we've been we've been tricked into believing it's okay to trample
00:28:53.560down another group to highlight our own issues and that's in any kind of way so women trampling0.99
00:29:00.680out because you have the turfs who are you know like um the feminists who are trans exclusionary0.92
00:29:05.860so i got told that the other day i'm like okay wow okay yeah but yeah but that's the thing right
00:38:48.000It's because we have all of that stuff that's been passed down to us,
00:38:51.220those things that we hear that are in our air that are in the media everything else and so
00:38:55.180sometimes you can kind of fall victim to that so i just don't like me myself as a comic isn't that
00:38:59.440as an artist i talk about what i know if something enters my world um let's say you and i were out
00:39:05.400one day and there was some kind of something came up uh some kind of situation came up while we were
00:39:09.880out eating or something like i'll talk about that because i was there i was present that happened or
00:39:13.860if you're my friend and you're telling me something and i have a take on it and i'll
00:39:17.340talk about that but i won't spend a ton of time on something that i'm not um really living in
00:39:23.960because that's my world and i feel like it just really runs the risk of me sounding ignorant
00:39:28.920which is why a lot of stuff i just go i don't really have an opinion on that specific thing
00:39:35.180however the the the issue with that specific thing is much broader and it's this and i have
00:39:41.220opinion on this um which again is that like infighting within communities or amongst communities
00:39:48.260that really would be much power more powerful if they work together absolutely and again
00:39:56.340a lot of people and i'm using dave only because it's been so timely but everybody's coming down
00:40:00.980on dave chapelle but like and i get it i mean this is a great conversation to highlight why
00:40:06.580it's an issue but nobody's you you get a few tweets or a few whatever about ricky gervais
00:40:12.200but he's made a lot of trans jokes he has yeah yeah a lot you know what i mean he's backed up
00:40:20.440jk rowling he's made a lot and he's like yeah i'm not and he doesn't even come close to apologizing
00:40:25.960for it but nobody there weren't forces of people seemingly come after him and then and then in my
00:40:34.100head i'm like is that because he's white and he gets away with it i mean i don't know i'm not
00:40:39.300gonna say it's not you know you gotta take in all of these all of these elements right like i've
00:40:46.180listened you know obviously i grew up on on the seinfeld show and so watching his stand up and
00:40:53.220watching how he if you watch his old stand up look there's a lot of stuff in there that's just not
00:40:58.460okay anymore right there is stuff doesn't age well sometimes yeah right and so you watch that
00:41:04.220you say well that's not okay then how much do you still carry it on now and and all of those
00:41:11.100things become problematic but you've never seen this onslaught against his kind of comedy either
00:41:17.220no um no so i'm just yeah i've never seen it i've never seen it no no and he's a billion
00:41:25.840Yeah. And I, and also, cause I mean, Dave Chappelle is a very successful stand up. He used to have the Dave Chappelle show on TV and he walked away from that. Um, but Ricky Jarvee still has his hand in everything. Yeah. No, he's got his hand in everything. And so it's just astounding to me. Yeah. That he's not being called out in the same manner. Um, right.
00:41:47.560So then you go back, go back to who gets called out, what marginalized group fixates on another one. And it seems like there's a competition for trying to, trying to take back that power. And it, and it's no different. And I'll, and I'll speak within the gay and lesbian community and all of the other subsequent letters.
00:42:07.880um it's no different than when you hear let's say lesbians bad-mouthing gay men or vice versa
00:42:14.640or both getting on you know not not liking so much people who are bisexual like those jokes are0.82
00:42:20.240never ending yeah um then there's the whole transgendered and uh debate and and who gets
00:42:30.160to say what somebody i made a tiktok the other day a little while ago and somebody i don't know
00:42:35.320somebody always questions my my sex and and uses the word gender inappropriately and whatever and
00:42:40.840i always you know have a bit of fun with them but i said something in there they said i said well0.81
00:42:46.680i'm a lesbian and i like sleeping with women who have women parts and then because that was the
00:42:53.000way i was defining lesbian but then i had a few comments um and i've answered directly but a few
00:43:00.120comments from the trans community say wow that sounds transphobic and i'm like
00:43:03.320well it does it it seems like it might sound like that and then i had to reflect on that and figure
00:43:10.520out okay but how are we ever going to have categories you know what i mean lesbianism if
00:43:17.140it's not what is the category of of that now and and then i kind of got lost in that i got and
00:43:25.380and and i'm in the community so i can only imagine what people outside outside the community what
00:43:32.220people that live in areas that have never even spoken to somebody who's gay or lesbian never
00:43:37.140even spoken to somebody that's trans trying to wrestle with all these incredibly complex
00:43:42.460overwhelming um identities and yeah well because like the thing with me like for example like my
00:43:49.720partners you know he's a total dude um but if he woke up tomorrow and said you know i i feel like
00:43:56.100i identify as a woman my only question would be okay you so you feel like you're a woman and you
00:44:01.860want to live that um how do you feel about me and if you said oh my god I still love you I'm still
00:44:06.100attracted to you I still want to be with you I'd be like okay well then how can I support you through
00:44:09.760what you're going through and we remain a couple I don't care um what parts he has or how he dresses
00:44:17.860or what he looks like which my daughter and for me means I'm pansexual because I didn't I didn't
00:44:23.440no so that's the other thing so if you were to say as a lesbian i'm attracted to um uh women you
00:44:32.720know that have the you know the women parts or whatever i feel like that i don't know who else
00:44:37.260to define it i just felt like i was just defining yeah what lesbianism is yeah and i feel like if
00:44:41.840you said like i'm attracted to women people who who present as women regardless then i don't know
00:44:47.580if that's no i didn't but i didn't say that i didn't say the way because that wasn't the point
00:44:53.080of my whole thing my whole thing you were just saying you were just trying to be like oh i'm a
00:44:56.100lesbian i i sleep with women yeah yeah and so i just yeah i feel like yeah if um i don't know i
00:45:04.100feel like maybe we should just maybe we should just scrap the whole thing and just be like i'm0.57
00:45:08.000sex fluid whatever that means well here's the thing right here's the thing then i start having0.77
00:45:12.160an issue with every single letter of that alphabet right like if anna came up to me now and said you
00:45:20.080know um but i you know i'd like i'm gonna i'm trans i i believe that i'm you know a male i'm
00:45:26.920gonna present that way or whatever i'd be like okay and you're absolutely right i would go nowhere
00:45:32.300i would go nowhere as long as she no as long as there's still the as long as the intimacy and the
00:45:39.260love is still there like i could not leave him i love him so that's what's the point but that's
00:45:46.080the point yeah we are always talking about attraction from a distance when we decide on
00:45:52.960our sexuality in my opinion it is attraction from a distance it is i look at you and i find you
00:45:59.840attractive whatever that means to me but when you fall in love with somebody and you actually
00:46:04.140understand what intimacy and attraction is because it's not that then it's the person then i'm
00:46:10.140wondering how many of us if we can throw out all the socialization garbage in our head how many of
00:46:16.060us would cease to care especially yeah like if you could take out like you just said if you could1.00
00:46:20.620take out any of the bullshit you'd have to deal with the idiot family members with our mama if you0.99
00:46:27.700in a perfect world if somebody could um wake up in the morning and be like um no i'm i'm definitely1.00
00:46:36.100not i'm not living what as i should be and i need to live this way instead and there was no judgment
00:46:42.180there was no nothing yeah i i'm curious to know how many of us would just go cool i'm still yeah
00:46:49.460because i know i would be like brett is i like he i would never leave him unless he would have
00:46:55.860to do something awful um and to me any like those things are not awful they're just they're yeah
00:47:03.300it's that's not awful like that's just who cares that's not a big deal yeah it comes down to what
00:47:09.700their soul is. So a lot of people ask me, you know, how did I know I was gay? I dated guys
00:47:13.940forever, yada, yada, yada. And I said, because when I dated guys, I loved, like I dated some
00:47:20.000great guys that I was even attracted, but there was an intimacy connection that was missing. So
00:47:25.780I felt really alone. And that's the best way I can describe it. And they were lovely people.
00:47:30.860And when I started dating women, I felt that it was this, this underlying connection. Now,
00:47:37.100It wasn't an underlying intimacy connection because they had a vagina.0.99