Vulgar History - Mary, Queen of Scots： Part Three： The Marriage Question

00:00:00.000 Chew on this bold question from Dentine Gum.

00:00:03.560 Is it ever okay to compliment a millennial on their skinny jeans in 2026?

00:00:12.620 Dentine, chew bold.

00:00:14.880 hello and welcome to vulgar history feminist women's history comedy podcast my name is ann

00:00:32.300 foster and this is part three of mary queen of scots so it's kind of a series within a series

00:00:37.880 like this whole season is there's something about mary queen of scots we started looking at her

00:00:42.340 grandmother, Margaret Tudor, her mother, Marie de Guise, her mother-in-law, her ex-mother-in-law,

00:00:48.200 Catherine de' Medici, and now we're on Mary herself. And this is the third part of her story.

00:00:53.940 And this is the point at which I'll point out initially when I was planning this, I thought

00:00:57.320 Mary Queen of Scots would be maybe four episodes, but here we are three episodes in, and a lot of

00:01:03.100 the stuff that she's best known for are not even on the horizon yet. So we're just kind of sitting

00:01:08.080 in this, sitting with this story. And I think for me, just to really understand and to share

00:01:14.400 this story to you as a storyteller, we really need to sit with it. Like there's so many people,

00:01:20.880 there's so many things happening, like to cut out anything would I think be doing a disservice to

00:01:27.100 the extent of which I want to explain her story and what all happened. So for this episode and

00:01:32.640 the references for all the episodes are similar, but you know, sometimes I add a new book when

00:01:37.300 there's a new part of the story. And this week is one of those times. So again, I'm using a lot of

00:01:43.560 the same references that I talked about before, which are all fantastic books. And I really

00:01:48.300 recommend you dive into them to learn more about all the sides of the story. So Embroidering Her

00:01:53.380 Truth, Mary Queen of Scots and the Language of Power by Claire Hunter. Daughters of the North,

00:01:57.640 Jean Gordon and Mary Queen of Scots by Jennifer Morick Henderson. Mary Queen of Scots, The True

00:02:01.920 Life of Mary Stewart by John Guy. Homecoming, The Scottish Years of Mary Queen of Scots by

00:02:06.640 Rosemary Goring. And then this week I'm adding a new, a new source, which is the book David Rizzio

00:02:13.500 and Mary Queen of Scots Murder at Hollywood, Hollyrood by David Tweedy. And that's because

00:02:21.340 today we're introducing another important character who was on the scene before, but I wanted to give

00:02:27.940 him a really good introduction. So I was holding off and talking about him until now, but just to

00:02:32.520 recap if if you're listening to this and you know real time then it's been seven days since you

00:02:37.320 heard part two so last time we talked about the cock o the north situation which is where mary

00:02:43.540 queen of scotts went to visit the north of scotland and while she did develop an interest in

00:02:49.360 and admiration for bagpipes and you know plaid outfits she also with the encouragement of her 0.97

00:02:56.280 it turns out piece of shit half-brother hollywood icon jimmy stewart she kind of waged war against 0.99

00:03:02.180 cock over the north and the catholics up there john knox just wandering around being full of 1.00

00:03:09.040 shit elizabeth the first down in england was like keeping one eye on mary she also got smallpox but 0.99

00:03:14.800 then got better mary we talked about how she likes parties she likes music and dancing that 0.96

00:03:20.940 makes john knox think that she's like from the devil and i i think i probably said this before

00:03:25.560 but i do want to just underline the point that john knox hated her before he met her like he 0.99

00:03:30.680 hated the whole idea of her and she showed up and he was just like oh my god she's a whore 0.97

00:03:35.140 she everything she did just cemented in the fact that he knew he was going to hate her because he 0.99

00:03:40.500 had to hate her because she was a catholic monarch she was a woman and he like the whole

00:03:47.200 scottish reformation is still so tentative and he knew that if she gained more power then that 1.00

00:03:52.420 would be shitty for him so he kind of had to hate her but i think it's such bullshit she showed up 0.97

00:03:58.560 And she was working really hard to try and be like, here's what I'm like. 0.99

00:04:01.480 You know, I'm going to, I think Protestants and Catholics can be cool with each other. 0.99

00:04:04.780 And John Knox is just like, sorry, sounds like a slut to me. 0.98

00:04:09.360 He said, as he went off famously, be one of the big people who paid the sex workers of 0.99

00:04:15.600 Edinburgh and then married a teenager.

00:04:17.520 But anyway, I just think so much of her story is retold as like, she's this passionate woman

00:04:23.220 who couldn't control her impulses. 1.00

00:04:24.760 And a lot of that is trickled down from how John Knox is writing about her and he was full of shit. 0.99

00:04:30.500 Anyway, so David Rizzio enters the chat.

00:04:33.940 I need to talk about a man who we didn't get into so far, but who becomes incredibly important to this story.

00:04:39.100 And most of all is cool and chill and 100% is loyal to Mary.

00:04:45.700 And that some of the other people in the story, and I'm still doing this, to people who know how things end up, they know that I'm doing this.

00:04:52.260 but everyone else. I'm just, somebody comes into the story and I'm trying to not let what they did

00:04:57.380 later affect how I tell you about what they were doing now. Cause I'm trying to tell this, you

00:05:01.380 know, from Mary's point of view and who she saw and who she trusted. And anyway, like there's not

00:05:07.120 going to be a surprise twist in terms of, is this person a piece of shit or not? David Rizzio is a 1.00

00:05:12.980 cool guy. He's a good guy. He was always on Mary's side. And I am just really happy to bring that

00:05:18.580 energy to this podcast series after kind of everyone has been surprised shitty to her so

00:05:25.740 we're going to talk about this guy he's going to come and meet mary and become her like bestie

00:05:30.000 but so i'll just explain kind of who he is and what the situation is so he was born in 1533

00:05:35.020 so he's like 10 years ish older than mary in the small village of panchallieri 20 miles south of

00:05:41.640 turin in the duchy of savoy so we would call this now like italy but so he's like people called him

00:05:47.920 and Italian, but this is before Italy was a thing. And, you know, it's the same as in the

00:05:52.280 Catherine de' Medici episode, you know, people consider these people Italians, but like Italy

00:05:56.260 was not one cohesive country. So Savoy is on the other side of the peninsula from the wealthy

00:06:03.040 Republic of Venice. And Venice was known for running the best diplomatic corps in Europe.

00:06:08.320 Like they just, I don't know, it was like the Washington DC of its time or the United Nations

00:06:13.340 of his time. So Venetian law stated that while ambassadors had to be like more rich people,

00:06:19.600 their secretaries could come from a lower class. And this is where the Rizzio family fits in.

00:06:24.720 His name is David Rizzio. Mary called him Davy. Everyone called him Davy. So I'm just going to

00:06:30.140 call him Davy because that's cute and that suits him. But so the Rizzio family had a history of

00:06:36.520 working in this sort of diplomatic role. So it was kind of like the family business. Although his

00:06:40.940 father. His father worked as a music teacher, and this is probably part of where David got his skill

00:06:45.520 from, but also his interest and his father knew the importance of music. So Davey studied music.

00:06:51.420 He was very skilled at it. He went off to like get a higher education in music, you know,

00:06:56.780 composition and performance. And then later on, using family connections, he got a place working

00:07:01.380 at the court of the Duke of Savoy, where he could watch and learn how royal courts worked. And this

00:07:07.180 was like, we talked about this in the Catherine de Medici episode, but this is like scheming is

00:07:12.940 happening. Like this isn't just some sort of like casual situation. Like you really got to see like

00:07:19.060 how this worked, how people at the highest levels of power operated. And then in 1561, when Mary

00:07:25.080 Queen of Scots came back from France to Scotland, kind of all the people in Europe were like,

00:07:29.720 what's her deal? Like, and who's she going to marry? And how can we get her to marry the person 0.68

00:07:33.580 we want her to marry. So the Duke of Savoy wanted to send a diplomatic mission to Scotland on behalf

00:07:40.080 of the Duke just to go and see Mary and like kind of see what was going on. And their mission was

00:07:45.080 to suggest that she marry a guy called Alfonso d'Este, the Duke of Ferreira. I haven't even

00:07:50.780 mentioned him in this podcast and I probably won't again because that was never really an option for

00:07:54.560 her. But anyway, so this mission was being put together to go to Scotland and Davy Rizzio was

00:08:00.640 like, can I go on this mission? You know, he was like a young, he was like about 28 years old.

00:08:05.200 And he's just like, I want to see the world. I want to have adventures. And so he got to come

00:08:09.400 along and his role was probably sort of like secretary slash helper. Like there was lots of

00:08:14.040 people going on this, like, you know, at least a couple dozen people. And he was one of those

00:08:18.220 people. And Mary was like, you know, this is great. Like welcome the mission of the Duke of

00:08:23.900 Savoy. So his boss, Demoretto, who was the Marquis Demoretto, was in charge of this. And so he was

00:08:31.140 put up, Mary gave him a nice room to stay in at Hollyrood House. But I think I mentioned before

00:08:36.540 last time, I can't go into every little corner of the story, but there was an overall shortage of

00:08:42.480 beds in Scotland. Mary had brought over a bunch of beds with her from France, but there's still

00:08:46.880 just not enough beds in Scotland. But also especially in Edinburgh, where for a while,

00:08:51.320 like there hadn't been a monarch on the scene and suddenly all these missions from all these

00:08:55.600 different places were going there so all the you know like hotels or whatever like it was really

00:08:59.880 hard to find a place for people to stay so it's very kind of her to let de moreto stay in a palace

00:09:03.980 at hollywood house but there was enough beds for like his whole entourage including davy who

00:09:08.040 apparently slept under his cloak on a pile of boxes and old chests somewhere in a corridor of

00:09:13.440 the abbey there and so they went there in kind of like late in the year like in winter and then they

00:09:20.240 left before Springs. They weren't there for a super long time. And Mary obviously was like,

00:09:24.260 thanks, but no thanks to marrying this rando guy you're suggesting. But just as the group was

00:09:29.660 preparing to leave, Davey, who had made friends with other people there, he heard there was a

00:09:33.720 vacancy for a fourth bass singer in the newly established Chapel Royal Choir. And so Mary had

00:09:40.100 reestablished a choir because she was like Catholic and Catholic services, the kind that she did,

00:09:45.540 there was a lot of singing in them. And so she had to, there wasn't, hadn't been a choir for

00:09:49.300 whatever 13 years or something because there wasn't a queen there like the country was like 0.93

00:09:53.880 turning protestant but she's like i want this choir and it needs to be like a big ass choir

00:09:57.680 and so like you can imagine the size of the choir in the sense at first when i read that

00:10:02.820 another book just that you know she needed a fourth member of i thought it was the fourth

00:10:07.400 member of a choir so i thought she had like a barbershop quartet and she needed a bass but no

00:10:11.000 she needed a fourth bass singer for like a much larger choir and so he's like oh i'm a great

00:10:16.440 singer and I'm a bass singer. So, so he got his bus to Moretto to recommend him for the post.

00:10:22.640 And in fact, he got the job. So when the rest of the people left, other people from Savoy all left,

00:10:28.940 Davey Rizzio stayed on because he was like, well, you know, he was an adventurous person and he kind

00:10:33.680 of saw that or figured out that staying in Edinburgh was probably going to be more,

00:10:38.540 there's more opportunities for him there probably than back in the Mediterranean.

00:10:42.500 So singing in the Chapel Hill choir was a job, but it was not well paying. And initially he was

00:10:48.240 unable to afford better accommodations. So he continued sleeping on old chests in the back

00:10:52.860 corner of hallway. But almost immediately upon his debut in the choir, Mary was like, who is that

00:10:58.740 guy with the deep voice over there? Like he intrigues me. And so she gave him a promotion

00:11:05.600 of sorts. I think he stayed in the choir, but then she became one of his, her personal valets.

00:11:09.540 So sort of like a personal butler, like part of that team.

00:11:13.920 And so his responsibilities increased.

00:11:16.340 We talked last time about like giving gifts was her love language, but she was also desperately

00:11:20.460 lonely and just really wanted to find a true friend who like she could talk to on this

00:11:24.520 kind of like diplomatic level.

00:11:26.600 And she started to realize like, oh my God, Davey Rizzio might be that person.

00:11:30.000 He might be this friend I've been needing.

00:11:31.880 So she showered him with gifts because that was her love language.

00:11:34.940 And this is part of how we know how quickly she caught his attention because the, you know, inventories of like, or the bank account statements or whatever, it's like a couple, like a week after he started being in the choir, she like gave him a money gift because she was just like, Ooh, that guy. I like that guy. He was provided with chambers and a bed. So, you know, moving up in the world, not sleeping on the floor in the hallway anymore.

00:11:57.260 and so his musicality was a real a thing that they had in common and that's part of what drew

00:12:03.020 her to him because she was very musical she liked music she liked dancing she also liked putting on

00:12:07.660 these you know mask performances but also he was um italian like he was from the continent and that

00:12:12.980 reminded her of when she was in france it reminded her of her ex-mother-in-law catherine medici and

00:12:18.420 the two of them had a lot in common in like a fun way as well as just kind of he knew about 0.98

00:12:22.420 diplomatic shit. He also loved playing cards. He loved music, obviously. He loved like mask 0.97

00:12:27.940 performances. And he, because he had just come to Italy, he could advise her on the latest

00:12:31.980 fashions. We know she was a fashion girly. And he also advised her on like how courts were run,

00:12:37.040 like back in Venice, where he was from. And so just because of his various skills,

00:12:41.920 he became sort of her party planner. So he would arrange pageants and compose music for her. The

00:12:47.660 songs he wrote that we know of are mostly like happy love song George Buchanan was still there

00:12:52.480 he was the one who like Hollywood icon Jimmy Stewart had recommended to be Mary's like

00:12:56.580 instructor so he was kind of writing he was like the poet in residence but then Rizzio kind of

00:13:02.620 took over doing like the productions and the performances and the two of them Davey and

00:13:07.140 Buchanan did collaborate on some of the mask performances and Mary was honestly just drawn

00:13:12.680 to him because what I'm telling you and what it seems like he was just like a stand-up guy

00:13:16.920 He was just like, he could keep secrets. He was loyal to her. He like could give her advice. It

00:13:23.620 was like impartial, like because he was sort of an outsider, like everyone who had been in Scotland

00:13:28.380 for a while was a member of one of the clans or one of the factions, but he was just kind of like

00:13:32.360 objective and loyal to just her. So she started, she took him on as kind of like her private

00:13:39.280 secretary. So that meant that he would take charge of her incoming letters, advise her on what to do

00:13:45.600 based on what the letter said maybe in at least one instance we're pretty sure that like he wrote

00:13:49.440 letters for her you know and then she would sign them and stuff so they like really got really

00:13:52.880 close and he got a lot of responsibility because he's up to the job and she was just like desperate

00:13:57.420 for someone who she could like actually trust one contemporary chronicler wrote about him

00:14:02.160 um quote from a musician became her secretary of state an active politic man whose counsel the

00:14:07.800 queen made use of in her greatest affairs and of course the greatest of all things that she

00:14:13.560 needed to figure out and then she was happy to get someone else to advise her on was who was she

00:14:19.040 going to marry so the thing is she was the queen of scots and she was the dowager queen of france

00:14:25.360 and ideally wanted to marry somebody of equal status to herself e.g someone royal but as they 0.59

00:14:32.820 had like the people in scotland had recently seen in england like within the last decade mary the

00:14:38.160 first had married philip of spain and they saw what happened there which was kind of like spain

00:14:42.520 you know he kind of took over and so if she married somebody who was the king of somewhere

00:14:47.400 else it would force Garland into an alliance and it just everything got really complicated and kind

00:14:52.740 of messy with that because although she's the queen regnant which means like she's queen in

00:14:57.960 her own name not just queen because she's married to the king as soon as she married a man like the

00:15:03.580 man like the king would have more power than the queen so it was kind of like like what do we if

00:15:09.480 going to choose a man who's going to like take over, like who's that going to be? So, okay.

00:15:13.440 So then what about the option of marrying not a king, marrying a Scottish nobleman? And this was

00:15:18.600 complicated in another way because like there's this precarious balance of the assholes who are 0.99

00:15:23.960 all each member of one of these longstanding noble families. And so this would raise one family above 0.98

00:15:28.640 another, and that could maybe affect the other asshole lords. She also wanted to, at this point, 0.99

00:15:34.820 marry somebody that Elizabeth would approve of because Mary was really working every angle she 0.93

00:15:40.200 could to try and get Elizabeth to name her Mary as Elizabeth's heir because Elizabeth was at this 1.00

00:15:45.120 point like 35, had not yet married. She'd been Queen of England for like 10 years and it was

00:15:49.980 starting to seem like, is she going to ever get married? And if she doesn't, like she just had

00:15:53.520 smallpox. It's like, who's going to be her heir? And Mary was like, I just, if she can like win

00:15:58.940 Elizabeth over and get named as her heir, like that would just be good for her. But anyway,

00:16:03.020 there were no royal English men available. That's why Elizabeth was the queen, because there was no

00:16:08.100 English royal men. But then if Mary married an English, not royal, like an English subject, 0.76

00:16:14.340 that would be complicated because then she'd be raising one of Elizabeth's subjects to be equal to

00:16:18.500 the queen. So even since before she came back to Scotland, Mary had been thinking about like

00:16:24.460 Don Carlos, who is the sickly insane son of the Spanish king, Philip. And Don Carlos does appear

00:16:32.820 in the television show rain and we see that he seems like an okay person at first until there's 0.77

00:16:38.460 a he gets a brain injury when he he's in this dungeon with this like traveling sex chair he

00:16:46.340 brings with him everywhere and he's like i won't marry mary unless i know that she can like really

00:16:50.520 please me in this like bdsm relationship that i want but mary this is rain the tv show not

00:16:56.780 the actual story and so then mary is like i don't know if i can do that i don't know if i can be a

00:17:00.760 dominatrix so then catherine de medici comes in and then they blindfold don carlos and then

00:17:05.960 catherine de medici like does all the dominatrix shit but then there's an accident don carlos 0.99

00:17:10.600 falls out of the sex chair hurts his head and then goes insane in real life he was sickly and insane 0.99

00:17:16.760 i think because of hapsburg related inbreeding like to the point that his father philip the 0.70

00:17:21.340 second of spain who knew that like alliances would be great was just like i'm gonna call this off

00:17:25.120 because my son is just like not capable of being a husband to anyone because of all these health

00:17:31.600 things. But she was like, I get that. But like, uniting with Spain would be major for her power

00:17:40.300 for for everything for the alliance that that would probably mean. So Mary wrote two letters

00:17:45.620 towards the end of January with help of Davy Rizzio, presumably one was to her uncle Charlie

00:17:50.240 de Guise, the Cardinal of Lorraine, and the other letter was to the Pope. She asked Charlie to

00:17:55.780 intercede with the Pope on her behalf, just to tell the Pope, like, Mary is, like, such a great

00:17:59.920 prize. Like, any Catholic monarch should want to marry her. And then she wrote to the Pope to be

00:18:03.820 like, heads up, Michael, Charlie's going to be writing to you. Like, I just really, as Catholics,

00:18:07.800 like, let's figure this out. The other thing that was happening with the Don Carlos situation,

00:18:11.240 besides him being insane, was that Catherine de' Medici was getting in the way of it. Actual

00:18:17.380 Catherine de Medici. On reign, she was very supportive to Mary. In real life, she was not

00:18:21.580 because she didn't want Mary to marry Don Carlos. So Catherine de Medici's daughter, Elizabeth of

00:18:27.840 Valois, was the latest wife of Philip of Spain. So Don Carlos was Philip's son from his first

00:18:33.580 wife who had died. Philip later married, I'm going to call it Elizabeth de Medici, like Catherine's

00:18:38.520 daughter. And Catherine de Medici just didn't want Mary to get involved in that because she was

00:18:43.960 hoping that her daughter, Elizabeth, would have like maybe the next heir to Spain. And so

00:18:47.740 she really didn't want, like at this point, Elizabeth, Catherine's daughter, hadn't had

00:18:53.580 any children yet. So she, anyway, Catherine de Medici was, was cock blocking this. And then

00:18:57.860 meanwhile, her diggy's uncle started negotiating without asking her for a marriage to the Archduke

00:19:03.740 Charles of Austria. My notes here just say, why is everyone called Charles? Everyone is called

00:19:08.760 James, Charles, George, and Janet in this story. And I'll try to give them cute nicknames so you

00:19:14.080 can tell them apart, but this guy doesn't really matter. So Archduke Charles of Austria, who was

00:19:18.500 the third son of Ferdinand I, the Holy Roman Emperor, who's also one of the main candidates

00:19:22.460 to marry Elizabeth as well. Mary rejected him on this basis. She rejected anyone who's also

00:19:27.760 considering marrying Elizabeth, I think because she just didn't want to get like her hand-me-downs, 0.96

00:19:32.460 but also she didn't want to like get in the way of Elizabeth by like taking someone who maybe 1.00

00:19:35.740 Elizabeth was going to marry. The Diggy's uncles were like, hey, you know, even though we like

00:19:39.820 arranged the education of our niece so that she would be intelligent and could think for herself,

00:19:44.620 we don't like that she's thinking for herself in a way that's not good for us. So they sent an

00:19:48.920 emissary to convince her to like do what her uncle said. Meanwhile, Catherine de Medici was like 0.92

00:19:55.340 thinking about like, who could marry Mary? And she's like, well, thinking about like potentially

00:19:59.960 mentally unstable men how about rn jr um remember him he's in scotland he was the one who was

00:20:06.620 caught in a fight and was sent to jail and then was in house arrest and similar to don carlos he

00:20:11.820 was just like not in a position to be a useful husband to marry at this point meanwhile john 0.98

00:20:18.420 knox goddamn john knox on the prowl he's ready to get all the protestants worked up should marry 0.99

00:20:25.700 marry somebody Catholic. So again, he's just like, he's not waiting for her to do shit to 1.00

00:20:30.060 get mad at her. He's like, I think she might do shit. So I'm preemptively mad at her. And it 1.00

00:20:34.180 really reminds me, I don't want to get controversial here, but of the way that the

00:20:38.740 British tabloids write about Meghan Markle. Like they're just preemptively mad about what they

00:20:44.480 think she might do without actually paying attention to what she actually does. It's a

00:20:49.980 similar misogynistic thing. Anyway, so there was a situation where he flipped out one time at

00:20:58.460 parliament and Mary called him to speak with her. And she was like, fuck off talking about me and 0.99

00:21:03.960 my marriage. What she literally said was, quote, what have you yet to do with my marriage? And he 0.99

00:21:09.640 was just like, if you marry a Catholic, then the realm will be betrayed, blah, blah, blah.

00:21:14.560 And like, again, his whole thing was just, he hated her. He had the idea of her. He hated Catholics. 0.75

00:21:19.000 he hated women he thought that she and all catholic women were sexy sluts who were unable 1.00

00:21:24.040 to control their passion just reminder that he like was like known to frequent the sex workers 0.99

00:21:31.780 of edinburgh and he also married a teenager who he had been friends with that person's father and 1.00

00:21:39.060 one might say groomed that girl so the fact that he is just like slut shaming mary it's like fuck 0.99

00:21:44.040 off and what's wild about this and just like really speaks of his hypocrisy he was just like 1.00

00:21:48.940 marry as a crazy slut where it's like all she's done is show up in this country as a young widow 0.99

00:21:53.620 and she's trying to figure out who to marry meanwhile elizabeth the first in england was 1.00

00:21:59.180 actively having an affair with a married man who may have murdered his wife to be with her so it's 0.98

00:22:06.500 like who's the like horny slut that we're mad at here but john knox was like yeah like elizabeth's 0.99

00:22:13.660 okay because she's protestant even though she's like a woman in charge it's okay because she's 1.00

00:22:18.240 protestant like even though she's like having an affair with a married man and maybe killed his

00:22:22.100 wife it's like but it's okay because she's protestant meanwhile mary who's like literally

00:22:25.400 doing nothing to anybody he's like who meanwhile as time went by and mary was just like she was

00:22:31.260 really like getting into just like understanding who she could trust and who she wanted around her

00:22:36.960 and she like to her credit swapped out her half-brother hollywood icon jimmy stewart as

00:22:41.780 her right-hand man instead choosing this other guy maitland aka the scottish machiavelli um she

00:22:47.880 also brought Lord Ruthven, who you might recall, some people thought was a warlock and or necromancer

00:22:53.060 into her inner circle. You know what? Always good to have a warlock slash necromancer around you.

00:22:58.380 And the matter for marriage was of prime importance to all of her advisors, including

00:23:02.120 newcomer, newcoming advisor, Davy Rizzio. And what he was able to offer here was,

00:23:08.600 because he was Catholic also, but he was also from Savoy and he knew from his diplomatic work,

00:23:14.280 he knew kind of what sort of man the Spanish King Philip or who the Duke of Savoy would want her to

00:23:20.020 choose. Like, because Mary needed to choose somebody, even if it wasn't like specifically

00:23:24.360 the son of a specific king, somebody that would mean that these other men, these other Catholic

00:23:29.340 kings would like approve of it and want to work with her. By this point, Davy Rizzio was appointed

00:23:33.480 her secretary for French affairs. So I guess all the letters between her and Catherine de Medici

00:23:37.840 were going through him now as well. The more power he got. So remember with Catherine de Medici,

00:23:42.920 there was I don't know if it's technically racism or xenophobia or both or just sort of like

00:23:49.340 prejudice but like people hated Italians remember even like Catherine de' Medici like she was like

00:23:55.520 the queen of France and people are still just like but he's Italian oh like that means she's like

00:24:00.300 a gross person so like Davey Rizzio was dealing with this sort of xenophobia racism as well a 0.61

00:24:07.680 lot of people didn't like him because he was Italian a lot of people didn't like him just 0.97

00:24:10.960 because he was not from Scotland. People didn't like him because he was Catholic. And so he had

00:24:14.380 enemies. And part of how much we know about him is because his enemies wrote a lot of shit about 0.99

00:24:18.740 him. He was accused by his enemies of corruption, to which I say, who in this story was not? In 0.99

00:24:25.560 this court at this time, it's like, oh, he was taking bribes to put your letter to Mary to the

00:24:30.140 front of the pile of letters? Yeah. Everyone was doing shit like that. William Cecil was doing

00:24:35.100 that for Elizabeth in England. What is most important about Davey Rizzio is that he never

00:24:39.880 took English money to betray Scotland's secrets. He never betrayed Mary, which I can say for a lot

00:24:45.900 of other people in this story. So they just hated him, not because of his actions, but because of

00:24:51.380 who he was and the power that Mary was getting. I have to tell you this also. One other unsuccessful 0.91

00:24:56.980 suitor for Mary's hand was the Swedish king, Eric XIV, aka, when I saw this, I was like, wait,

00:25:04.160 is this this guy yeah so numerous episodes ago i did a super special episode about princess

00:25:11.000 cecilia of sweden who was the sexy swedish princess she had kind of like a 12 dancing 0.62

00:25:17.100 princesses things where she and her sisters would secretly go dance with people at night 0.99

00:25:20.860 she wouldn't have to be a pirate um she's the sister of this guy of eric and so at one point 0.91

00:25:26.700 cecilia and her husband were sent to england to try and get elizabeth to marry eric but instead of 0.98

00:25:32.140 doing that. She just hung out with Elizabeth in England and became besties, kind of ran a grift

00:25:37.220 on her, maybe stole some stuff from her and then ran away to be a pirate. Anyway, this is her

00:25:41.320 brother, Eric. And he was one of the people, so he was trying to marry Elizabeth, but he was also

00:25:45.100 trying to marry Mary as well. He's also the one that when Princess Cecilia, as a teenager,

00:25:50.820 there was a situation where she was caught in a compromising position in her bedroom with a man

00:25:55.340 and the man had his pants down. And then Eric was like, oh my God, like this is the worst thing I've

00:25:59.540 ever heard about. Like, meanwhile, he's just this fuck boy trying to marry every queen in Europe. 1.00

00:26:04.420 Anyway, nobody in Scotland supported Eric's suit because Sweden was also like a pretty new-ish 0.99

00:26:10.080 country. And this is a great quote, John Knox, you know, I hate him, but this is a great line

00:26:15.620 from him. He said about Eric, such a man was too base for her estate. Had she not been a great

00:26:20.700 queen of France? Fie of Sweden. What is it? Which I don't know what my next merch drop is going to 0.52

00:26:29.460 be, but I do love Sweden. What is it? Is a great line. So as much as everyone was like preemptively

00:26:36.940 waiting for there to be a scandal and a scandal actually did happen to Mary, not that she had

00:26:41.460 anything to do with it. Although John Knox would later, or I've got probably right at the moment

00:26:46.180 claim that she had. So remember when she came over from France on her boat, there was two poets,

00:26:52.380 both called Pierre. So one of them was called Pierre de Chatelard and he and Mary had always

00:26:57.240 gotten along well, because remember, she loves French poetry. He's a French poet. He also liked

00:27:01.780 dancing. And then they engaged in innocent, courtly flirtation, which I think like all the

00:27:06.840 young people did in her court, which is one of the things John Knox is really mad about.

00:27:11.620 But then, in fact, on Valentine's Day, February 14th, Mary was taking one of her little trips.

00:27:17.340 She was en route to her home in St. Andrews. And so before she went to bed,

00:27:21.920 her male servants would double check her room to make sure there was like no men hiding in it or

00:27:26.580 whatever. And this time there was, um, her men found Pierre was hiding under the bed's canopies

00:27:31.720 with a sword and a dagger. And they're like, what the fuck? And Pierre was like, oh, it's just, 0.99

00:27:36.560 I was sleepy and I came in here for a nap. And they were like, yep, no. So he was banished from

00:27:43.260 court, obviously, but he continued to pursue the queen, which means either he didn't take the hint

00:27:50.160 and was like a deranged stalker or he was secretly a spy who was sent there to besmirch her reputation

00:27:57.340 by getting her caught up in a scandal either is possible both are equally likely i think so anyway

00:28:02.960 mary went on to st andrews and so did pierre secretly following her and so he snuck into the

00:28:08.000 castle and he burst into her chamber just as the marys were about to prepare her for bed so mary

00:28:14.180 screamed so loudly everybody heard um in seconds to his credit hollywood icon jimmy stewart was in 0.96

00:28:19.780 the room she yelled at him to run him through with his sword right then and there like kill this guy 0.98

00:28:23.880 like fuck this like what is happening hollywood icon jimmy stewart was like no and this is actually 0.99

00:28:29.080 good of him because he's like because then the story would become way too scandalous and your 0.99

00:28:33.780 reputation would be ruined like if he was like run through with the sword right now rather than kill

00:28:38.520 pierre um they had him arrested and imprisoned then there was like a really quick trial and he

00:28:43.180 was sentenced to death for months afterwards mary understandably wouldn't sleep alone she insisted 0.99

00:28:48.660 that her bestie, Mary Fleming, stay with her. So John Knox was just like, ha ha, you know,

00:28:55.980 she had this man snuck in her room. Like that means she's a whore. But really it was either 1.00

00:29:01.280 Pierre was just unhinged or he, somebody had paid him to do that to ruin her reputation and make her 0.99

00:29:08.240 look slutty. One of the other things John Knox said about her was we call her not a whore, 0.99

00:29:12.920 but she was brought up in a company of the vilest whoremongers so basically calling her a whore 0.96

00:29:19.820 so two days after pierre's execution her uncle frank the duke of guise the one who had been like 0.96

00:29:26.300 her surrogate father and had helped raise her was assassinated by a huguenot in france he was shot

00:29:31.520 in the back and she consoled herself by riding for days on end across the fields like again in a

00:29:38.020 like she has this in common with empress cc just like horseback riding athletics was like 0.99

00:29:42.660 a way that she managed her various emotions not just riding her horse she was also hawking you

00:29:49.140 know like she was good at falconry she also liked hunting somebody wrote later that they saw her

00:29:54.440 weeping that she was all alone and awful things kept happening to her which yes and this is again

00:30:00.940 just her loneliness like she had the marys there she had davy rizzio but like no one was truly able

00:30:07.400 to like be there for her to help with a string of like really weird crises a week later like after

00:30:13.760 her uncle's murder a letter of condolences arrived from elizabeth which she was still sort of like

00:30:18.460 hoping that that could be her person that could be her bestie who could like understand her and she

00:30:23.140 made sure everyone saw and heard that she read and loved this letter um so that elizabeth would

00:30:28.880 hear that mary was so appreciative i think she like put the letter like in the bodice of her

00:30:33.620 dress to like care close to her heart and she told everyone she was doing that meanwhile john 0.92

00:30:37.880 knox still full of shit he was still like in ways that really echo kind of like contemporary 0.98

00:30:43.900 conservative politicians in numerous countries he passed an act where that said the penalty for 1.00

00:30:49.580 adultery was death like okay john like what about like you're married to a teenager and you're like

00:30:55.600 visiting sex workers is that adultery i don't know and now we're just gonna take a break for

00:30:59.980 a word from our sponsors.

00:31:02.740 The war is over

00:31:04.980 and both sides lost.

00:31:07.140 Kingdoms were reduced to cinders

00:31:08.980 and armies scattered

00:31:10.540 like bones in the dust.

00:31:12.600 Now the survivors claw

00:31:14.480 to what's left of a broken world

00:31:16.620 praying the darkness

00:31:18.100 chooses someone else tonight.

00:31:20.080 But in the shadow dark,

00:31:21.680 the darkness always wins.

00:31:24.380 This is old school adventuring

00:31:26.200 at its most cruel.

00:31:27.820 Your torch ticks down

00:31:29.220 in real time

00:31:29.960 and when that flame dies

00:31:31.340 something else rises

00:31:32.620 to finish the job.

00:31:33.760 This is a brutal

00:31:34.660 rules-light nightmare

00:31:35.920 with a story

00:31:36.800 that emerges organically

00:31:38.620 based on the decisions

00:31:40.080 that the characters make.

00:31:41.300 This is what it felt like

00:31:42.120 to play RPGs in the 80s

00:31:43.660 and man,

00:31:44.520 it is so good to be back.

00:31:46.040 Join the Glass Cannon podcast

00:31:47.260 as we plunge into the shadow dark

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00:33:45.980 Shortly after this was passed, one of Mary's French chaplains was discovered in bed with another man's wife.

00:33:50.960 and john knox was just like this see this proof that like mary's court is full of licentiousness

00:33:57.160 and that speaks badly of her because this guy was in bed with this other woman nothing of which has

00:34:02.280 to do with her that summer the summer after pierre was executed mary went on her usual summer progress

00:34:08.120 like in the summers she's been in scotland now for like a couple years and every summer she likes to

00:34:12.400 travel around and see other parts of scotland while she was away so mass was still being celebrated

00:34:18.820 for like people who were Catholic in her private chapel. She wasn't there personally, but a crowd

00:34:23.480 forced its way into her private chapel while mass was being celebrated. During this altercation,

00:34:27.540 the priest's life was threatened. As a result, two of the ringleaders were scheduled for trial.

00:34:32.440 John Knox was obviously on the side of these assholes. He sent out letters calling the nobles 0.99

00:34:37.500 to intervene. He was just basically being like, don't be mad at these guys. Mary saw one of these

00:34:43.760 letters John Knox wrote and she was like, is this not treason? Like, is this not a treasonable act?

00:34:48.260 And so Hollywood icon Jimmy Stewart and the Scottish Machiavelli asked John Knox to admit

00:34:52.740 he was wrong and to settle the matter quietly.

00:34:54.760 John Knox, of course, refused and was put on trial.

00:34:57.420 And guess what? 1.00

00:34:58.140 He defended himself like all assholes do. 1.00

00:35:00.760 Mary was just like, oh my God, finally, like I've got this guy where I want him, like this 1.00

00:35:04.880 fucking guy who's been like on my ass this whole time. 0.99

00:35:08.500 Apparently when she saw him in the courtroom, she smiled and laughed and she was in high 1.00

00:35:11.220 spirits.

00:35:12.120 She said, yawn man made me weep and shed never tear himself.

00:35:15.560 I will see if I can make him weep.

00:35:18.260 But of course, John Knox had enough friends in the group that they voted to not charge

00:35:24.140 him with treason.

00:35:25.060 When Mary heard that that was the result, she demanded a revote, but it came back the

00:35:29.180 same. 1.00

00:35:30.040 And one of the reasons why everybody voted this way was because her goddamn half-brother, 0.99

00:35:34.980 Hollywood icon Jimmy Stewart, is still mad at her for giving him less power. 0.98

00:35:39.700 And he had used his influence to convince the others to vote for acquittal.

00:35:42.720 And this was actually his first open act of betrayal that Mary could not see as anything

00:35:48.160 other than that. And Elizabeth demanded that Mary had to marry somebody from England who supported

00:35:55.360 the Scotland and England not going to war with each other. And Mary was like, okay, like she 0.53

00:36:02.360 wanted, it was so many things she had to balance, but she didn't want Elizabeth to be mad at her.

00:36:06.680 So she had to at least pretend that she was going to go along with what Elizabeth said. Elizabeth

00:36:10.840 is like, I'm just going to choose someone and you can marry who I choose. And Mary was like, 0.92

00:36:14.100 we'll see. Through all of this stress though, Mary fell ill again. And we know that the sequence of

00:36:21.260 events for her was often she was stressed with something that affected her appetite that would

00:36:25.060 trigger her underlying chronic illness, which is maybe porphyria. One of the symptoms of which is

00:36:29.800 like severe depression. And so at this point, she fell ill for about two months, most described as

00:36:35.820 she was suffering from diverse melancholies. This might have been a gastric ulcer and maybe

00:36:41.000 porphyria. But as per usual, she bounced back afterwards and she just refocused herself on

00:36:46.160 finding a husband that would like still not make Elizabeth mad. So she was like, okay, Elizabeth,

00:36:51.340 like, who do you suggest? Who do you think I should marry? And Elizabeth was like, okay,

00:36:55.280 this is going to sound crazy. Like it's a bit out of the box, but what if you marry my boyfriend,

00:37:00.180 Robert Dudley, AKA Bobby Dutz, who was the boyfriend who she was with, who was married. 0.80

00:37:05.840 And then he maybe killed his wife. So everyone knew that this was her favorite and maybe her

00:37:10.740 boyfriend. So this plan was categorically outrageous. But wait, there's more. Because

00:37:15.600 Elizabeth said like her plan was like if Mary accepted Bobby Duds as her husband, Elizabeth 0.96

00:37:20.020 would then officially name Mary her successor. So to pave the way for this, she made Bobby Duds

00:37:25.720 into the Earl of Leicester. And furthermore, this plan was delusional. So it was that Mary would

00:37:32.540 like live in England with them. So Elizabeth and Bobby Duds and Mary would all live together in 0.84

00:37:38.180 Elizabeth's court with the two women like sister wives and Elizabeth would be like the sugar daddy 0.58

00:37:43.160 like paying for everything like what is this plan it is a bad plan and Mary was like we'll see 0.99

00:37:52.420 because she couldn't say no to Elizabeth because then she got in trouble and she was honestly still

00:37:57.120 at this point being like can I marry like Captain Insano Don Carlos but eventually Philip was just

00:38:04.100 like truly like for the no, like my son, no, like no one can marry him. This is just, he is a,

00:38:11.580 he's not doing well. And into the void of who can her husband be came a new option,

00:38:16.960 Henry Stewart, AKA Lord Darnley. And we're going to call him Darnley because that's what everyone

00:38:22.900 always calls him. And the name suits him. So I didn't mention this before, but Darnley had already

00:38:28.760 met Mary once before. He's like slightly younger than her. So when she was 15, sorry, when he was

00:38:35.160 15 and she was 18, just after I think the king of France had died, he had been sent by his parents

00:38:40.520 to send their condolences to her to be like, you know, we're so sorry the king has died, etc.

00:38:46.420 And this was maybe to kind of like get him in front of her in case in future she needed a new

00:38:50.560 husband because his parents were super scheming. So his dad was Lennox, who I mentioned in part one,

00:38:57.160 he was the guy who wanted to marry Marie de Guise and then he was so mad when he couldn't that he

00:39:03.120 in fact left Scotland betrayed the country to go and work with Henry VIII instead and his wife is

00:39:09.400 Margaret Douglas and we did a whole episode about Margaret Douglas back in the Women Trapped in

00:39:14.140 Tower a season. Margaret Douglas is the daughter of Margaret Tudor and therefore Mary Queen of

00:39:18.760 Scots half-aunt so this made Darnley and Mary cousins they share a grandmother. Margaret Douglas

00:39:24.560 was also very like ambitious Lennox was very ambitious and they knew that between them their

00:39:31.340 son Darnley had a claim to maybe be the next king of England and then Lennox was a great-grandson of

00:39:37.560 Henry VII so he Darnley also had a claim to the throne from that as well so they were just kind

00:39:42.740 of like this kid like we're gonna make him be king of somewhere like they're just big stage parent

00:39:48.880 energy. So Darnley had grown up in the English royal court, where as a teen, he's briefly one

00:39:54.900 of Elizabeth's favorites because she liked handsome young men. She called him a long lad

00:39:59.940 because he was tall. He was like six feet tall. So like similar height to Mary. He'd been educated

00:40:05.020 in France, was a skilled musician, a passionate huntsman and a fine dancer, which is like,

00:40:10.680 of course, Liz doesn't just choose anyone to be a favorite. They have to be like a handsome young

00:40:14.420 men, but also have like some skills. So his parents were like, we think the Mary should marry him and

00:40:21.800 then he can be the king. And then that will be like the end result. It's like, now I haven't

00:40:25.640 read this book, but Great Expectations by Charles Dickens, but I have seen the movie. And I believe

00:40:30.780 in that movie. So Miss Havisham raises this girl, Estella, to kind of like revenge on her behalf 0.95

00:40:37.800 against all men. So like Estella is raised to be kind of a weapon. And in a similar way, Lennox

00:40:42.420 and Margaret Douglas raised Darnley to be kind of their weapon. Like he was raised being told

00:40:48.020 like, you should be the king and one day you're going to be the king. So he was just kind of like

00:40:52.140 rotted in that way to begin with. Sorry, spoilers. So this whole thing might've come together with

00:40:58.980 an assist from Bobby Dutz. So Elizabeth was just being like, Mary and I can be sister wives

00:41:03.740 of Bobby Dutz and I'll live together and whatever. And Bobby Dutz was like, that is not what I want

00:41:09.440 out of my life. So he encouraged Lennox to ask Elizabeth for permission to return to Scotland.

00:41:16.620 So again, Lennox had been one of the asshole lords in Scotland, but then he got mad at Marie 0.71

00:41:22.160 de Guise, left Scotland basically in exile to go to England to work with Henry VIII against Marie 0.94

00:41:27.520 de Guise. So all of his lands and titles have been taken away. So what Bobby does is suggesting

00:41:32.940 is like, well, what if Lennox asks permission to go back to Scotland to try and get to legally

00:41:37.100 reclaim his territories that had been taken away. Elizabeth was like a little suspicious because she

00:41:41.560 knew that he was a scheming schemer, but like everyone there was. So he's like, oh, Elizabeth

00:41:46.260 let him go. But she's like, okay, but I'm going to hold your wife, Margaret Douglas, as kind of

00:41:50.840 a hostage. She was put in basically house arrest so that if he pulled any shit, like 0.99

00:41:57.780 she, the wife would be punished basically. But what she didn't know is that Lennox didn't give 0.98

00:42:02.380 a shit. And Margaret Douglas was willing to put up with anything to make her son be king. 0.99

00:42:07.100 anyway so up in scotland the scottish parliament was meeting at this point it was being led by

00:42:13.200 maitland the scottish machiavelli and scottish machiavelli made the motion to have lennox's

00:42:19.120 hereditary lands and honors returned to him on the basis that elizabeth had sent him there and

00:42:24.560 elizabeth and mary were friends and so they should do this as like a nice thing for elizabeth who

00:42:29.040 was mary's friend anyway this passed and lennox got his lands back i do want to mention just

00:42:35.600 because this came up when i was reading about this particular meaning of parliament the people of

00:42:39.100 edinburgh like the everyday people were still they stand for mary they love her if they were here

00:42:44.540 today they would be calling her mother like they adored her like at one point when she was going

00:42:50.260 to parliament like she's going down the royal mile which is like the road between the palace

00:42:54.520 and parliament people shouted at her about how she was like the goddess diana goddess of the

00:43:00.080 hunt and she did like hunting and sometimes in the mask parties arranged by her bestie Davy Rizzio

00:43:06.200 she would sometimes appear as Diana in these productions and also that's another point where

00:43:11.500 rain was accurate because there was a caution party and she was dressed as Diana on that show

00:43:16.060 anyway also note this winter just for context um 1564 there was a little ice age gripping Europe

00:43:22.960 so climate change in which it was so cold the four days before Christmas and Mary like was

00:43:28.660 confined to her rooms. Like just she, I guess the fire was on, the tapestries were up. She had all

00:43:33.220 of her, you know, duvets on just to add to everybody's kind of like overall stress level.

00:43:38.160 Anyway. So Lennox is in Scotland. He's getting his land back, but he's like, Ooh, but like

00:43:43.320 my son has to be here to sign this paperwork. So then he asked Elizabeth, like, can my son come

00:43:48.740 up here just for paperwork reasons? Um, and Elizabeth was like, okay, I guess. And so like

00:43:54.580 things are coming together for this potential marriage match. And cheering this on and helping

00:43:59.620 this out, honestly, was Davey Rizzio, who knew what sort of man Mary probably should marry.

00:44:07.560 He kind of saw the angles that Darnley would be a good match on paper. And to their credit,

00:44:13.480 Lennox had noticed how influential Rizzio was and knew that if he got on Rizzio's good side,

00:44:19.260 that Rizzio would kind of encourage Mary to do this. So they bribed him to get nice things and

00:44:24.100 cozied up to him and stuff like that. So Darlene and Mary had met earlier as teens, but now they

00:44:29.280 met again as, I'm going to say adults, but like she was 23, he was 20. So like young adult. So

00:44:34.740 they met at Whimmis Castle that February. And in a charming detail, Mary had been, she rode there

00:44:41.840 from St. Andrews where she had been hanging out and doing one of her play acting things with the

00:44:47.200 Marys where they were pretending they were little bourgeois housewives who lived simply in a small 0.91

00:44:51.120 house away from the royal court. While she was there, she gave some speeches, including one

00:44:56.780 about, you know, arguing in favor of female empowerment. So it's just like a little feminist

00:45:01.520 conclave, her and her friends. And it's so interesting that Mary did this play acting.

00:45:05.640 She was like a normal person. We talked about Queen Charlotte did that. Marie Antoinette did

00:45:11.160 that. It's just an interesting thing. Do rich people today pretend like they're normals also?

00:45:15.460 I don't know. Anyway, so they met. Again, they're both six feet tall. And I think like when you're

00:45:20.120 six feet tall and you meet someone else who's six feet tall you're just like oh you got it he was

00:45:23.800 graceful you know he was the long lad and they hung out for a few hours and he showed off how

00:45:28.360 he was good at hunting and dancing and at music mary seemed like polite but not like over the

00:45:33.760 moon about it um some people wrote that like when she met him she like fell into instantaneous lust

00:45:40.380 and like couldn't forget about him but she was just kind of okay okay this is an option fine 0.89

00:45:44.800 meanwhile elizabeth was just like but what about marrying bobby duds like she just like get over 1.00

00:45:50.740 to elizabeth but we do know that one month later mary made a significant investment in new gowns 0.99

00:45:56.260 for her wardrobe of like non-black outfits so we can see whether it's darnley or somebody else 0.98

00:46:01.380 she's like preparing for a new era of her life like after four years which is how long she'd

00:46:07.160 been in scotland by now um of black outfits this was as significant as a switch from black and

00:46:12.800 to color in the wizard of oz like this is or as like taylor swift went from the reputation era

00:46:18.080 to the lover era like so she didn't start wearing colored clothes but she was like ordering fabric 0.99

00:46:23.360 to make them so the don carlos scenario was officially off the table and then finally 0.99

00:46:28.320 elizabeth went to bobby duds and was like do you want to marry mary and he was like no like you

00:46:32.480 never asked me and i don't want that either so that was off the table so darnley was truly becoming

00:46:36.900 the best option it seems like things are flying into place that that is maybe what she's going

00:46:40.840 to choose. So then he felt ill with maybe measles, but with probably the early stages of syphilis

00:46:49.300 because later he, his symptoms line up with that. So he stayed at Sterling Castle and Mary

00:46:54.920 personally tended to him. She spent time at his bedside. She personally like brought him sweet

00:46:59.880 meats and mopped his brow. Like she was personally tending to him. So it's in a real thing, like on 0.78

00:47:05.740 Grey's Anatomy, that like early Grey's Anatomy where Katherine Heigl fell in love with a patient,

00:47:10.580 like she seemed to come to fall in love with him like as he convalesced so by the time he was

00:47:16.080 released from his sick room and returned to court she was clearly in love with him or just like

00:47:20.800 really had a big crush on him so there's going to be one other scenario later on where she also

00:47:26.660 tends to another sick man and i wonder if it's like she was so young when francis her first

00:47:31.860 husband fell ill and died like if she is getting some sort of like trauma ptsd-esque thing where

00:47:38.460 like she couldn't save Francis like she stayed by his bed day and night and then he died but if

00:47:43.200 she stayed by darling's bed day and night and he got better so it's sort of like is that like

00:47:46.500 healing that wound I don't know or if it's just like something about I don't know she she's just

00:47:52.560 a really kind person she likes helping people she likes giving gifts and anyway like him falling

00:47:57.780 sick seemed to be the best thing that happened for this match because this like she was now

00:48:01.940 all in davy rizzio was shipping this he was like this is like the best option but he cautioned her

00:48:10.020 to keep negotiations open with the other suitors so nobody knew that she made up her mind who would

00:48:15.120 get the final rose so to speak it is kind of like the bachelorette in that sense anyway but as per

00:48:21.920 davy rizzio marrying darnley would please the king of spain and it would hopefully like marrying him

00:48:27.340 would be a way that like with darnley on the scene like that's the way to get like hollywood icon

00:48:30.940 jimmy stewart off her back like it would truly sideline him and just to highlight how influential

00:48:36.440 davy rizzio was at this point john knox wrote her counsel at this time was only the earl of lennox

00:48:43.040 the lord ruthven but chiefly david rizzio the italian ruled all so he was like really influential

00:48:49.960 at this point the fact that he supported this match which he saw was a good idea was i think

00:48:54.880 influential as well. Now, this brings us to, there is an overall thing that shows up in a lot

00:49:02.000 of Mary Cream Scott's movies and also in some books about her. There were Darnley and Rizzio

00:49:07.000 fucking, which who knows? This is all based on, there's this one passage where it was written 0.98

00:49:14.360 that they lay down together in the same bed, but it's like a longer passage. And the point of it,

00:49:20.980 which was written by a hater, is more saying that just like Rizzio went so hard for Team Darnley 0.99

00:49:27.280 because it was a way to get himself more power, to get the other assholes out of power. So the 0.98

00:49:32.700 insult, as it were, in this one passage isn't about these two were having sex. It's more about

00:49:38.480 that Davey Rizzio was being duplicitous. So were they fucking? You know what? Maybe. But the one 0.99

00:49:47.040 quote that a lot of people pull on for evidence about that doesn't necessarily mean that and if 0.63

00:49:53.700 people had thought they were fucking then maybe i don't know i don't know i don't want to say they

00:50:01.560 weren't there's also rumor that rizzio was mary's lover which i feel more strongly suspecting was

00:50:07.180 very not true because she like despite what john knox was saying like mary was very cautious to not 0.95

00:50:14.980 be seen as a slut. So anyway, this is all unfolding. Like all the spies in Scotland 0.95

00:50:21.380 were writing back to Elizabeth, like kind of looks like Mary's going to marry Darnley.

00:50:25.180 So Elizabeth demanded Darnley return to England. Mary demanded he stay in Scotland.

00:50:30.320 Because he was an English subject and because of his family connections that made him be somewhere

00:50:34.780 in the line of succession to England, he couldn't marry without Elizabeth's permission.

00:50:38.620 I mean, as much as we know, if you recall from the Lady Jane Grey season, it seems like

00:50:43.740 no one ever got Elizabeth's permission to marry anyone anyway so remember his mother was sort of

00:50:49.700 on house arrest to make sure that they didn't pull anything shitty well they did so this is at the

00:50:54.640 point where Margaret Douglas um Darnley's mother was put in prison but Darnley still didn't leave

00:51:00.320 Scotland I'm sure the mother was like I'm fine like just become the king that you were meant to

00:51:04.520 be Margaret wound up being in the tower for two years I'm gonna let you know and she's freed up

00:51:09.460 when that comes up in the story. Anyway, the reason why this marriage, like aside from just

00:51:13.660 Darnley being, was a person who needed to get Elizabeth's permission, like the big threat was

00:51:18.180 Catholicism. So together, these two people, they could reignite the ambitions of English Catholics, 0.78

00:51:25.080 which combined with Mary's Scottish Catholic forces and those of other Catholic countries like

00:51:29.220 Spain could maybe usurp Elizabeth and put Mary in her place. So I'm saying like Elizabeth was 0.71

00:51:34.660 like freaking out about it, but it's like legitimately like this was kind of an act of war.

00:51:39.460 Mary choosing to marry him. A lot of people didn't want this marriage to happen like Elizabeth

00:51:43.940 obviously. The Marys were also like we don't necessarily support this marriage but some

00:51:50.020 people did support it. The Spanish King Philip did. The French boy King Charles and his mother

00:51:55.480 Catherine de Medici both supported it. Hollywood icon Jimmy Stewart did not support the marriage

00:51:59.760 because he knew it would mean that he got less power. He, great insult here though, he called

00:52:03.560 Darnley a girlish nincompoop and Hollywood icon Jimmy Stewart and Darnley did not get along like

00:52:09.080 because shortly after Darnley arrived, he was shown a map of Scotland. And remember that Hollywood

00:52:13.680 icon Jimmy Stewart was, he's the Earl of Moray, which is this kind of like part of this large

00:52:19.040 area of Northern Scotland. And Darnley was like, oh, what's Moray? Like, that seems like that's a

00:52:22.520 lot of land for one guy to have. And so Hollywood icon Jimmy Stewart was just like, oh, like he

00:52:28.460 didn't like being called out for like how he obviously had like destroyed Kako the North and 0.88

00:52:32.500 stuff for his own power. Anyway, regardless, Mary was like, you know what? Watch me. And she

00:52:38.040 prepare to marry Darnley. So she had him knighted the Lord of Ardmanach and the Earl of Ross in a

00:52:43.420 grand investiture ceremony. So this was meant to sort of consolidate support for the match among

00:52:48.340 all the assholes. At the same time, 14 of his kinsmen were also knighted to support, to get 0.98

00:52:53.780 his family to support the match as well. During the ceremony, Darnley himself took an oath that

00:52:58.820 he would always be true and loyal to Mary, which not going to spoil anything for people who don't

00:53:03.800 know this story but like sure jan so by now so everything was kind of coalescing in this way

00:53:10.260 where mary was getting more control and the people who had previously been manipulating her were being

00:53:14.760 sidelined so both hollywood icon jimmy stewart and maitland the scottish machiavelli had lost

00:53:20.180 influence and power because mary was all about this new circle of advisors so including davy

00:53:27.060 rizzio lennox darmley's dad and like the influence of davy rizzio was so well known even catherine

00:53:33.540 de Medici was told about how powerful this Italian now was. So I don't know if she was like, yeah,

00:53:38.980 Italians, power, love it. Or not. But anyway, I just, we're talking a little about Davey Rizzio 1.00

00:53:44.420 because he's a really important part of the story. And because I think in a lot of retellings,

00:53:48.960 his importance is downplayed because there's a lot of other stuff that happens. Like I'm doing

00:53:53.640 whatever, 12 hours of podcasting about it so I can dive into it. But some people like he was

00:53:58.180 her musician, where it's like he was basically acting secretary of state to the point that

00:54:04.220 Catherine de Medici knew his name. Anyway, so the marriage had not yet happened, right? So Hollywood

00:54:10.340 icon Jimmy Stewart petitioned Elizabeth for support to sabotage the marriage, and she responded by

00:54:14.940 sending him 3,000 pounds, like money. So Hollywood icon Jimmy Stewart's plan was to kidnap Mary

00:54:21.200 Darnley and Lennox and bring them all to London. But Mary was warned, and she escaped her pursuers

00:54:26.920 along with an armed escort of 2,000 men. Everyone keeps trying to kidnap her and she is just always

00:54:32.400 one step ahead and you love to see it. And honestly, the more the people were like, don't do it, that

00:54:37.340 made her realize like, oh, I really need to do it because the people that I want to be pissing off

00:54:40.980 are really mad about it. So that must mean it's the right thing to do. Anyway, so just by the way,

00:54:47.460 Hollywood Echo and Jimmy Stewart and the Lords asking Elizabeth for money to help kidnap Mary

00:54:52.380 was like literally treason anyway but mary and darling did in fact get married davy rizzio was

00:54:58.640 the event coordinator so they got married on july 29th 1565 at the palace chapel at hollyrood

00:55:04.020 you know the music was amazing and davy rizzio himself stood by the altar wearing a cloak of

00:55:09.120 black velvet brocaded with gold mary wore a great morning gown of black with a great white morning

00:55:16.200 hood um not unlike what she had worn the day that her first husband francis had been buried

00:55:21.320 it was a catholic ceremony um darnley apparently kind of like tastefully stepped aside for the

00:55:27.980 catholic bits because he was like not truly a committed catholic he was like maybe protestant

00:55:32.540 adjacent but anyway after the marriage happened mary got her ladies to help her switch out her

00:55:37.320 outfit into a new outfit to unveil her new era mary was now wearing colors again and so with 0.99

00:55:45.160 davy arranging things you know the reception was iconic there was three masks were performed

00:55:50.360 one of which the goddess diana appeared not literally the goddess diana somebody dressed

00:55:56.380 as her who knows devia connections anyway so the goddess diana was portrayed in this mask reciting

00:56:01.500 melancholy verses in latin complaining she was so miserable now that her handmaid mary was to 0.65

00:56:06.380 be taken from her side by the jealous power of love the newlyweds bought new outfits for their

00:56:11.960 household with their new coat of arms on it along with other gifts for everybody like bed linens

00:56:16.380 and jewelry like it's a total rebrand like everything is just like colors now like they're

00:56:21.180 married like it's i'm calling him darnley but his name is henry um so it's like king henry

00:56:26.040 queen mary like let's do this it's a new era of course their enemies were still plotting to

00:56:32.100 undermine their joint rule and destroy their power um there were rumors that darnley was planning to

00:56:36.560 murder hollywood icon jimmy stewart he probably was i mean the rumors of hollywood icon jimmy

00:56:41.500 stewart was planning to capture darnley and his dad lennox and send them back to england which i

00:56:45.500 think we know he was. But Davy Rizzio was on all this. He suggested that they mobilize their

00:56:51.140 defenses just to get ready for inevitable civil war. In order to get nobles on their side and

00:56:56.760 loyal men to fight with them, Mary released Kako the North Jr. from prison where he'd been ever

00:57:02.460 since, what, episode two? And so Kako the North Jr., his lands and honors were restored. He became

00:57:08.400 the Earl of Huntley again. And this got all the Gordons, all the people that Kako the North had 1.00

00:57:13.340 originally had infants over back on Mary's side. In fact, she appointed Cock Olinorth Jr. to her 0.96

00:57:19.180 Privy Council and the seat left vacant from when she, you know, contributed to his father dying.

00:57:24.460 And then at Rizzio's advice, Mary proclaimed Hollywood icon Jimmy Stewart an outlaw, which

00:57:30.480 the irony is that Hollywood icon Jimmy Stewart was now kind of in the same situation where he

00:57:34.960 had put Cock Olinorth Sr. three years earlier. He had been an overly ambitious subject facing a

00:57:40.860 charge of treason but in this case he was not dead and stuffed with herbs like caco the north senior

00:57:47.480 had been so he knew that he could get people on his side to fight back and thus began civil war

00:57:53.900 so hollywood icon jimmy stewart teamed up with aaron senior who already hated lennox like for

00:57:59.880 various reasons and so he's happy to join and bring his family the hamiltons their plan was

00:58:04.900 again to kidnap mary kill darnley and hold mary somewhere under house arrest while he took over

00:58:10.360 as king. And when I wrote that out, I was like, this is kind of like fuck, marry, kill, but not 1.00

00:58:14.600 really. That was their plan. Davey Rizzio, for various reasons, convinced Darnley to go with him 1.00

00:58:21.120 to one of John Knox's sermons. I think this was just to sort of like show everybody like, look,

00:58:25.440 I know the civil war is happening, but Mary's still cool with Protestants. She's cool with

00:58:30.260 Catholics. Like, you know, she's not a hater. Anyway, Mary made a formal proclamation of

00:58:35.920 religious tolerance. By now, Maitland, aka the Scottish Machiavelli had kind of peaced out. He

00:58:43.580 was just kind of like backing away slowly. He didn't want to necessarily team up with Hollywood

00:58:47.600 Eck and Jimmy Stewart, but he was on the outs with Mary. So he's like, I'm just going to lay

00:58:51.260 low for a while in true Scottish Machiavelli style. In his absence, though, like he was

00:58:56.020 secretary of state. So when he left, like someone had to take over. And that's why I said before,

00:58:59.560 like Davey Rizzio was basically now acting secretary of state. This was never made officially

00:59:04.680 official, which is why maybe some people don't realize how influential he was, but he was doing

00:59:08.700 all the stuff Secretary of State would be doing. Anyway, so Civil War. Mary and Darnley, like,

00:59:15.340 like, you know, they're going to serve looks like they, they got bespoke Met Gala level armor

00:59:20.380 outfits, kind of like when Zendaya came dressed as Joan of Arc to the Met Gala at that time.

00:59:24.740 I imagine they went to oversee their army. So the overall impression that Mary portrayed was kind

00:59:30.260 of Boudica. She's wearing a steel bonnet on her head, which is maybe a helmet. She had chainmail

00:59:36.160 on under her cloak, pistols at her side on her belt. Like she had made special armor, like special

00:59:42.580 lady armor to fit the contours of her body. Like she looked amazing. You know, Elizabeth I gets a

00:59:48.840 lot of shout outs for her showing up in armor that time. But like Mary did it first, frankly, 0.86

00:59:53.740 I think. Don't correct me. Maybe I'm wrong. But Mary did it also. And honestly, she was not just

00:59:59.040 brings the outfit but she was like there with the army like she'd been with the army during the

01:00:02.540 cock over the north scenario as well so like she had some experience with battlefields and stuff

01:00:06.760 and honestly she was so impressive that even john knox was impressed with her stamina she stayed 0.90

01:00:11.840 out and about for weeks on end he said quote the queen's courage increased manlike so much that she

01:00:17.200 was ever with the foremost so he was like oh my god she's so good she's almost like to the level

01:00:23.060 of a man which is i guess the highest compliment he could ever pay one thing i read said only one

01:00:28.760 other woman could keep up with her like the men could but only one other woman i don't know who

01:00:33.520 it didn't say who who like one of the marys like who who is this like icon i don't know anyway so

01:00:40.280 while mary was off leading armies elsewhere in her met gala armor hollywood icon jimmy stewart

01:00:44.320 came to edinburgh and he presumed he dared to presume that the people there would support him

01:00:49.860 because he thought that they all loved him but guess what they did not they all supported mary

01:00:54.420 because remember, they love her. In fact, the cannons of Edinburgh Castle were fired upon him

01:00:59.120 just as they were aimed at Archibald Douglas by Mary's grandmother, Margaret Tudor, all those

01:01:03.740 years ago. Edinburgh does not permit assholes in. These cannons can sense it and they will be aimed 0.99

01:01:10.220 at you if you are an asshole trying to get in. In fact, the people of Edinburgh rose up and forced 1.00

01:01:15.200 Hollywood icon Jimmy Stewart and his guys to flee. Meanwhile, Davy Rizzio knew Mary needed support

01:01:20.600 from other countries and he put into practice lessons in diplomacy he learned from his old

01:01:25.040 boss de Moreto back when he was at the court of the Duke of Savoy. So he wrote some letters for

01:01:31.620 Mary to send because he would write, she's busy, he writes the letters, she signs them, but they

01:01:34.880 talk about what the letters are going to say. So he wrote a letter to send to Madrid in Spain.

01:01:38.820 And what's crucial about that is it just shows that this Scottish civil war was already of

01:01:42.340 international concern. And perhaps he was inspired by how his native land of Savoy had won freedom

01:01:47.520 from French occupation when it put its trust in the Habsburgs a few years earlier because remember

01:01:51.760 the Spanish royal family are Habsburgs. Now I don't I didn't find any other things about this

01:01:58.040 to learn more about it but I know that there's people listening from Ireland and I had to let

01:02:01.640 you know that I'm not forgetting about you. Davy Rizzio also considered stirring up trouble in

01:02:08.400 Ireland where lots of people there hated England and so he thought like maybe they could come and

01:02:12.640 help out mary's side in this battle he sent um davy rizzio sent two gaelic speaking highlanders

01:02:19.360 were sent over the water to track down the great irish chieftain shane o'neill in his ulster refuge

01:02:25.440 they wanted him to launch an onslaught on the english settlements in the names of mary and

01:02:29.720 darnley and i picture like i'm familiar with like a medium amount of irish actors but i have to

01:02:35.100 picture column mini miles o'brien from star trek as as this guy is the great irish chieftain shane

01:02:42.160 O'Neill. And they just came to him and they're just like, hey, will you attack the English for

01:02:45.160 us? And he was just like, tell me less. I'm already on it. So Hollywood Act and Jimmy Stewart issued 0.91

01:02:52.320 a wordy, badly written proclamation of all of his grievances, one of which was that he felt that

01:02:57.600 Davy, as an Italian, was offering, quote, sinister counsel on the weighty matter of Her Majesty's

01:03:03.040 marriage. And I love that he wrote this letter. And just what I was reading about it said, 0.97

01:03:07.020 the Scots ignore this completely. Like no one gave a shit about Hollywood Act and Jimmy Stewart at 0.98

01:03:11.520 this point he was less than powerless he tried to get support from elizabeth in england again but 0.96

01:03:16.580 she refused because she wasn't into the idea of rebels usurping a literal queen because that was

01:03:22.120 kind of a bit of a slippery slope for her meanwhile mary was getting support from like the pope

01:03:27.120 philip in spain was also helping out but she kept reassuring her subject like yes i know that these

01:03:32.260 catholic people are supporting us but i'm not gonna be i'm not gonna pull mary the first bloody

01:03:36.520 Mary on you. Like, I'm not going to make this kingdom be Catholic again. I'm still cool with 0.99

01:03:41.440 Protestants. But also just the way that she was phrasing all of this, she was making everyone see 0.77

01:03:46.120 like Hollywood, I can Jimmy Stewart wanted to be like, I'm the face of Protestantism. But she was

01:03:50.580 like, no, he's just this fucking rebel. Like, please don't follow him. And nobody did. So this 1.00

01:03:56.120 whole thing became known as the chase about raid because Mary's army and Hollywood, I can Jimmy

01:04:02.060 Stewart's army never actually faced off against each other. They're just chasing each other around

01:04:06.180 for like months and months and months. Eventually, her forces, which comprised as many as 18,000,

01:04:13.360 were preparing to attack his much smaller group of people. And he just gave up. He ran off to

01:04:18.060 England. And so did all of his guys. And Elizabeth let them into England. One person that she let

01:04:22.680 leave was Aron Senior, who had been given this land in Chateau-le-Hareau in France. And he was

01:04:28.740 allowed to go to France. But anyway, so they're all gone. So Mary needed a new military guy to

01:04:33.740 step in because of just Hollywood Duck and Jimmy Stewart kind of used to play that role for her.

01:04:38.720 And he had taken a lot of the military guys with him. She's like, I need a really good

01:04:42.600 military guy. And she remembered her mother had recommended this guy, Bothwell, before her mother

01:04:49.560 had died because Bothwell had like come in in a clutch time and really helped out in a military

01:04:54.480 way for her mother. And remember she had once attended a wedding fireworks party at Bothwell's

01:04:59.180 house that time when Bothwell's sister got married. So he had been in Paris where he'd

01:05:03.840 been living in exile because he had been put in prison for fighting with someone, but then escape

01:05:09.560 prison. Anyway, so Bothwell was in Paris and Mary just like sent for him. She's like, I need an army

01:05:13.820 guy. Bothwell, I think is the guy in this moment. She appointed him Lieutenant Governor of the

01:05:19.280 Queen's Army. This made Darnley mad because he wanted his dad to get the job, but like fuck off 1.00

01:05:24.500 Darnley. Yeah. And so I mentioned before, Cocker the North Jr. was now on her Privy Council. 1.00

01:05:29.780 Bothwell also joined the Privy Council. Scotch Machiavelli was out of town. And then it turns

01:05:36.280 out that somewhere during all these raids, which were basically her honeymoon period,

01:05:40.760 Mary had become pregnant. What will happen next? Maybe something good. What could go wrong?

01:05:48.420 We'll find out next time in the next chapter of There's Something About Mary, Queen of Scotch.

01:05:53.240 So yeah, so I just let you know, starting this month, new episodes and then working backwards

01:05:58.100 from them. There are now transcripts available of episodes of Vulgar History. So you can get those

01:06:03.260 if you go to vulgarhistory.com and just click on the episode you want the transcript for,

01:06:07.520 and they're going to be on the newest ones and then working backwards. So I'm really happy to

01:06:11.800 be working with Aveline Malik of The Wordery for her transcriptions. We also have our store. The

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01:07:01.700 at least $5 or more a month, then you get access to my special Patreon only spinoff podcast. So

01:07:07.100 Vulgar Peace Theater, where I talk with Lana Wood Johnson and Alison Epstein about costume

01:07:11.160 dramas. Most recently, we talked about The Woman King. And we're going to be talking about

01:07:15.620 Chevalier, the movie about the Chevalier St. George. We're going to be... Anyway,

01:07:20.120 there's lots of old episodes there of us talking about movies. And then also,

01:07:23.480 we do those about once a month. And I also do the spinoff podcast, So This Asshole,

01:07:28.380 where I talk about terrible men from history. And there's so many terrible men in this story. 0.97

01:07:31.940 I have had requests to do an episode, So This Asshole John Knox, which I have pledged I will do

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01:09:19.780 Now, before you go hunting for something else to listen to, let me make it easy.

01:09:24.520 I'm Mike Carruthers, host of a podcast called Something You Should Know.

01:09:28.080 And I speak with experts about fascinating things that affect your life,

01:09:32.880 from human behavior, relationships, health, science, and everyday mysteries.

01:09:38.480 We've been downloaded millions of times

01:09:40.880 because every episode teaches you something you'll be talking about later.

01:09:45.260 Open up Something You Should Know and give it one episode.

01:09:48.920 You might just find your new favorite podcast.

01:09:52.660 There are vampires out there.

01:09:55.140 They walk among you, shoulder to shoulder, in the dark.

01:09:58.140 Heading to work, heading home, going to the bar.

01:10:00.380 It's a life just like anyone else's.

01:10:02.880 And I have grown used to it, to the darkness, to the moon, to the taste of blood on my tongue.

01:10:08.680 But vampires are dying out.

01:10:11.080 We are a fading kind, and I am the first one created in so long.

01:10:15.440 And that is a dangerous thing to be.

01:10:17.680 Those who came before me, elders of all stripes, they do not want to see our kind gone.

01:10:22.080 And they will do anything to keep their power.

01:10:25.240 And for myself, and for Grace, who created me, that is a sword that hangs above our heads.

01:10:29.980 and the worst person of all carries our secret

01:10:33.180 and he will use it however he sees fit

01:10:36.360 who do you look to when things are at their darkest

01:10:39.420 from the creators of Parkdale Haunt comes Woodbine

01:10:42.520 a podcast about monsters, dreams and changes

01:10:45.560 those you want and those you never saw coming

01:10:48.480 season 2 arrives September 24th

01:10:51.360 distributed by Realm

Vulgar History - June 07, 2023

Mary, Queen of Scots： Part Three： The Marriage Question

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