If Books Could Kill - You Are A Badass

00:00:00.000 Can you believe we're approaching like two years since The Secret?

00:00:02.700 I can't even believe we're approaching two years of doing this show.

00:00:05.700 We're past two years of doing this show.

00:00:07.240 We've almost produced like 15 episodes.

00:00:09.500 It's like a British sitcom.

00:00:10.920 We'll see you in four years and we'll produce a Christmas special for some reason.

00:00:14.640 No, if I keep doing books like this, my output's going to be crazy.

00:00:19.420 You just read this yesterday, didn't you?

00:00:21.280 We're just talking about it.

00:00:23.060 I woke up early this morning and did it.

00:00:26.960 All right, let's do this.

00:00:28.320 Let's do this.

00:00:28.880 Do you have a zinger?

00:00:30.000 I literally don't even know the book.

00:00:31.420 I don't, I don't even know what book we're doing.

00:00:33.260 How could I zing?

00:00:34.040 You are a badass by Jen Sincero.

00:00:36.820 I've literally never heard of this book and you have not told me anything. 0.98

00:00:39.240 You're like, all I, all you've said is that we're doing a dumb book.

00:00:41.860 This is like the, the biggest sort of one book thing we've done so far. 0.93

00:00:46.280 Oh, okay.

00:00:46.740 You could literally say, I know nothing about this book. 0.98

00:00:48.880 You just promised me that it was going to be the dumbest book we've done so far. 0.95

00:00:52.700 Okay, let's, let's do it. 0.98

00:00:53.780 Okay.

00:00:54.180 Michael.

00:00:54.760 Peter.

00:00:55.320 What do you know about you are a badass?

00:00:57.320 This is the first time I'm hearing about the name of this book, but I was hoping it was called The Secret Atomic Rich Dad Workweek.

00:01:16.300 So my promise to you and myself and our listeners was that after the 2024 election, we would do some lighter work.

00:01:25.140 Yes. No more politics. No more discussions about fascism or whatever. No. I'm going to read the dumbest looking book I can find and then tell you about it. Just like the United States of America, we are getting dumber every single day. So the book is You Are a Badass, subtitle How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life.

00:01:46.300 I can't imagine what would be problematic, the points we've made in every previous episode.

00:01:50.280 I can't believe we would return to any of those previous points.

00:01:52.240 This came out in 2013, written by Jen Sincero.

00:01:56.960 It's been very popular in self-help circles.

00:02:00.200 It spawned some spinoffs, including You Are a Badass at Making Money, which I also read.

00:02:06.260 You are a badass for teens.

00:02:07.780 You are a badass dad.

00:02:09.060 So the author, Jen Sincero, wasn't really a known entity like many of our authors,

00:02:14.420 just sort of came out of nowhere.

00:02:15.460 She was a musician for a bit.

00:02:17.400 She was in like a punk band in the 90s, started to become an author and then made it big with

00:02:23.020 this book. 1.00

00:02:23.840 So just some lady. 1.00

00:02:24.660 Yeah, not to be rude, but yeah, it's some lady. 1.00

00:02:28.040 Usually it's a dude saying stuff. 1.00

00:02:29.320 So so this is so true. 0.89

00:02:30.900 This is a diversity hire on the show. 0.99

00:02:32.300 This is us giving into DEI mandates. 0.73

00:02:34.760 We've talked about one book theory.

00:02:37.000 Many of our books have overlap with one another, leading me to my tongue in cheek theory that

00:02:42.140 we were converging upon a single book.

00:02:44.280 but reading this it felt like we were going beyond that and more into something like copyright

00:02:49.440 infringement more into something that feels illegal so fully just like you you fed all

00:02:54.960 these books into chat gpt and then it spit out this book right this is another book where the

00:02:59.280 central theme is the law of attraction the idea that you can attract positive things into your

00:03:05.140 life through positive thinking and if you recall that was the central premise of the secret

00:03:10.280 and that was one of like the first books that we did that truly caught me off guard with how

00:03:16.600 unhinged it was because i went into it thinking like oh the power of positive thinking yeah

00:03:22.160 vision boards yeah but then it ends up being about how you can literally attune yourself to

00:03:28.060 the universe and the universe will deliver you the things that you want not in some metaphorical way

00:03:34.620 but like scientifically these all converge into like you can think your cancer away yes your kid

00:03:40.520 has measles like believe better do better brain this book has another similarity to the secret

00:03:45.560 which is that it's full of just random quotes of famous people yeah if you try to google them

00:03:50.480 the only sources are on those like quote aggregator websites right it's like quote sprout right right

00:03:56.100 you can never find out if they're real there's like a tesla quote in one of the early chapters

00:04:00.940 that says like if you want to find the secrets of the universe think in terms of energy frequency

00:04:05.800 and vibration oh i looked into it and as far as i can tell it traces back to like something an

00:04:11.120 acquaintance of his claimed that he said back in like the 40s right i'm not trying to do a gotcha

00:04:16.540 i just find it interesting how these books try to present the idea of the law of attraction

00:04:22.360 as if it is like a secret of the illuminati right like until now only the world's smartest and

00:04:29.340 wealthiest and most powerful people knew about this and now you do too. And the only way they've

00:04:34.600 been trying to get the word out is in every airport bestseller for the last 30 years.

00:04:38.520 Right. This is the secret knowledge. It's being leaked to you.

00:04:42.120 In every book. I'm going to send you like an introduction to the concept here. She says,

00:04:47.920 the universe is made up of source energy. You are vibrating at a certain frequency and everything

00:04:53.100 you desire or do not desire is also vibrating at a certain frequency and vibration attracts like

00:04:58.820 vibration. We're all attracting energy to ourselves all the time, whether we realize it or not. And

00:05:04.040 when we're vibrating at a low frequency, feeling pessimistic, needy, victimized, jealous, shameful,

00:05:09.040 worried, convinced we're ugly, yet expect high frequency, awesome things and experiences to come

00:05:13.600 into our lives, we are often disappointed. You need to raise your frequency and match the vibration

00:05:19.000 of the one you want to tune into. This is very scientific. I think she's correct here. I'm sure

00:05:24.320 you've emailed numerous physicists. Yeah. Everybody clapped when I brought this up

00:05:30.620 at a physics lecture. In her other book, You're a Badass at Making Money, she says this about it.

00:05:37.940 Just like electricity and gravity, two things that impact our everyday lives and we don't

00:05:41.980 actually see that few of us understand and that, hello, everyone believes in anyway,

00:05:47.280 universal intelligence and the power of our thoughts are real and affecting our lives

00:05:51.380 every single moment you may not understand the intricacies of how it all works but still

00:05:56.080 you're totally down with following the rules so she's saying just because you can't see something

00:06:01.440 doesn't mean it's not real and that's true and like it's also true that most of us don't

00:06:06.640 understand how gravity works or electricity works or whatever but like there are people who do

00:06:12.660 yeah you understand that right you can't google this like there are people who know like the

00:06:17.660 equations and stuff she's conflating like some things you can't see are real with everything

00:06:23.440 you can't see is real right because like i also can't see werewolves i mean i agree with you but

00:06:28.300 also did you did you say werewolf yeah werewolves werewolves werewolves were werewolf oh let's not

00:06:34.900 do vowels we're not doing vowel pronunciation chime in get in the comments folks

00:06:39.840 you're just looking for tiny pronunciation it's not just that it's not just that it's if one of

00:06:46.560 us mispronounces something and the other lets it go that also becomes a problem for people

00:06:51.700 i can't believe that peter didn't say anything when mike said we're wolf

00:06:55.860 so jen sincero says that you have this subconscious ego that is essentially trying

00:07:04.500 to sabotage you at all times the universe is picking up these negative thoughts right and

00:07:10.200 then it's delivering you negative results and this is like a common theme in self-help which

00:07:16.280 she acknowledges she says that in self-help this is referred to as the ego uppercase which i guess

00:07:21.460 is like a sort of bastardization of freud's ego okay she says that she will refer to it as the 0.53

00:07:27.580 big snooze okay which she says is appropriate because quote the leading cause of sucking 1.00

00:07:34.060 staying broke dating morons uncontrollably crying in public because we hate our lives 0.99

00:07:39.580 is that we haven't yet woken up to how truly powerful we are or to how massively abundant 1.00

00:07:45.320 our universe is so before right-wingers started saying you can't do anything because of woke

00:07:49.780 jen was saying you can't do anything because of sleep yeah it's very funny that like the basic

00:07:57.500 advice here is always just like yeah be you be optimistic you know whenever you can it's useful

00:08:02.200 to be optimistic but like that's two sentences and you need 200 pages and so here we are you're

00:08:08.920 like we're gonna need some tesla quotes one of the recurring themes of the book is the idea

00:08:13.280 that when you do improve your life by positively vibrating with the universe,

00:08:19.640 some of like your family and friends will turn into jealous haters.

00:08:23.540 Right, really?

00:08:24.320 So I'm going to send you this.

00:08:25.900 One of the first things you might have to deal with when you decide to wake up from the big snooze

00:08:30.000 and make massive positive changes in your life is disapproval from other people who are snoring away.

00:08:36.260 Especially the people closest to you, lame as this may sound.

00:08:39.700 They may express their discomfort in all sorts of ways.

00:08:42.200 Anger, hurt, bafflement, criticism, snorting every time you talk about your new business

00:08:47.200 or your new friends, constant remarks about how you're not the way you used to be, brow

00:08:51.740 furrowing, worrying, teasing, blocking you from all social media outlets.

00:08:56.160 I don't know. 1.00

00:08:57.180 It sounds like what she's doing is getting you mentally prepared to be an asshole. 1.00

00:09:02.300 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:09:02.820 This is a weird cult thing of like everyone's going to hate you.

00:09:05.340 But like if all you're doing is like, I don't know, trying to get more done at work and

00:09:09.700 like use Duolingo or something, your friends should not be like blocking you.

00:09:13.620 They're just mad at you because you're good at business now.

00:09:16.080 Like that's what she wants you to think.

00:09:18.220 Has she given any specifics yet?

00:09:19.940 I feel like this is much easier to talk about if it's like, okay, you just start waking

00:09:23.480 up early and going jogging or like whatever advice she's going to give.

00:09:26.920 It just seems like in general, she's like, you should be better.

00:09:29.540 And then you'll face all this resistance.

00:09:30.680 But like, it kind of depends on what be better means.

00:09:32.940 It takes a while for her to give any practical advice.

00:09:35.980 And there's not a ton in this book.

00:09:38.260 There's a little bit more in the making money one where she's like, make lists.

00:09:42.660 And so you're like, yeah, cool.

00:09:43.920 Yeah, I don't think my friends are gonna be blocking me on social media for that.

00:09:46.440 Which is why you know that she's getting you ready to just cut off your friends and family 0.91

00:09:50.100 when they're like, hey, you need to stop with this MLM.

00:09:53.540 And you're like, Jen warned me about you.

00:09:55.340 Right, exactly, exactly.

00:09:57.680 And she goes a step further.

00:09:59.120 She says that as you try to change your life, the big snooze, your evil subconscious, will

00:10:04.640 actively try to undermine you.

00:10:07.100 I mean.

00:10:07.840 This is a very big part of the book. She says, the big snooze will do everything it can to stop

00:10:12.480 you from changing and growing, especially since you're attempting to obliterate the very identity

00:10:17.300 that you and everyone else has come to know as you. But also she seems to believe that it has

00:10:23.500 supernatural powers. I'm going to send you something. This is her talking about how the

00:10:29.720 big snooze reacts when you try to wake up and improve your life. She says, it's a detox of

00:10:36.080 such staggering proportions that sometimes it can feel like the universe is conspiring against us.

00:10:41.100 Trees fall on our cars. Our computers crash. We find our significant others in bed with our best

00:10:45.460 friends. We get our identities stolen. We get the flu. Our roofs cave in. We sit and gum. When in

00:10:50.840 reality, the big snooze is creating chaos in an attempt to self-sabotage and keep everything as

00:10:56.420 is instead of moving forward into unknown yet desperately wanted new territory. These sentences.

00:11:02.780 Every successful person knows this and has been through this.

00:11:05.960 I sat in gum because I'm making lists.

00:11:08.180 Every successful person knows that your evil subconscious can fell a tree.

00:11:14.500 Just ask Jeff Bezos.

00:11:16.860 She's also got We Get the Flu on here, too, because these books always converge on not believing in the germ theory of disease.

00:11:23.860 I'm tracking my sleep, and that's why I got gonorrhea.

00:11:27.580 All right, I just sent you another bit.

00:11:29.180 She says, I have a client who decided to quit his ho-hum yet high-paying job to start his

00:11:34.200 dream company from scratch.

00:11:36.260 He had no idea where to start, what he wanted to do, or how he was going to pull it off.

00:11:40.100 And regardless of the fact that he had a family that was counting on him, no guarantees and

00:11:43.820 even fewer leads, he quit his secure job and went for it because he was determined to create

00:11:48.660 a life he loved.

00:11:49.940 That's when the BS hit the fan. 1.00

00:11:51.440 By the way, when she says BS, she means big snooze, not bullshit. 0.98

00:11:54.580 An incredibly confusing thing that reiterates throughout the book. 0.98

00:11:57.240 That's when the BS hit the fan.

00:11:59.180 He got not one, but two flat tires after leaving a coaching session with me.

00:12:03.360 His babysitter ran into his wife's car while driving his car.

00:12:07.000 The water main under his kitchen exploded. 0.80

00:12:09.560 And right before his first big deal went through, he got hit by a freaking bus.

00:12:14.040 I'm pleased to report he's fine. 0.72

00:12:15.680 Again, I just want to sit in this for a moment.

00:12:19.360 She's claiming that when you try to change your life, your subconscious will alter the

00:12:25.580 physical world in ways that include but are not limited to possibly controlling the weather but

00:12:32.100 also disease your subconscious will get behind the wheel of a bus yeah this is what might happen

00:12:37.440 by the way um which which i just want to be clear makes this immediately not worth it like if this

00:12:43.320 were true yes your subconscious is going to try to actually kill you with a bus but at the end of

00:12:52.200 this, you will be running your own small business. Yeah. I could just not make the lists. I don't

00:12:56.780 have to make lists. This is one of those books where like I've encountered people and seen them

00:13:01.340 online saying like, well, what's so bad about this book? It had some good advice. And I'm

00:13:06.020 immediately like, I know you didn't read it because what the book actually says is that

00:13:10.120 your subconscious will manipulate the physical world to try to kill you if you leave your job.

00:13:14.100 There's also a lot of stalling here. It reminds me of when I was researching the

00:13:18.400 rich dad poor dad episode and i was looking into like online financial grifters there was this one

00:13:22.680 guy with like a super local restaurant ass website that was like the secrets of finance and then he's

00:13:28.520 like listing like these are the people who know these secrets and he lists a bunch of famous 0.99

00:13:32.060 people and when you finally like scroll your ass down you get there's like a two hour long fucking 0.92

00:13:36.100 youtube video you finally get to the advice and it's like you should buy gold he was just 0.97

00:13:40.520 procrastinating telling telling me the actual thing i almost wonder whether the point of this

00:13:45.040 is to like get you to buy in like she spends so much time telling you how powerful and dangerous

00:13:51.880 this knowledge is that like by the time she's actually giving you advice you're fully invested

00:13:57.340 in a way that you wouldn't be if you just opened the book and it was like try to be nice to people

00:14:04.220 maintain an air of positivity about you you'd put it down immediately yeah yeah but if it's like

00:14:09.100 god will try to kill you if you listen to this do not read the rest of this book unless you're ready 0.97

00:14:13.700 to die people are like oh shit this is this is hot it's got to be partly sunk cost fallacy because 1.00

00:14:18.520 you're like look i spent 20 bucks on this book and then i spent six hours reading it by the time 1.00

00:14:22.360 i got to the actual content of it she also does that grifter thing where she basically like shit 0.94

00:14:28.200 talks people who don't like the book she says like if you try getting through this book and 0.99

00:14:33.900 decide it's a bunch of crap you can go back to your sucky life relax if you don't like this 0.99

00:14:39.520 podcast you're a dumb loser that's fine go back to reading the atlantic i guess like that's it's 1.00

00:14:45.540 just like relax you don't need to do this it's also funny because it's her first book so it's 0.99

00:14:49.600 not even like this is a tried and tested approach it's like i'm just saying stuff and like people

00:14:53.840 are gonna try to stop you the middle portions of this book are pretty inoffensive there's some

00:14:59.000 reasonably good advice on like self-love there's some advice on meditating okay very common advice

00:15:06.360 about positivity all good i'm skipping over it because this is a bad faith episode

00:15:11.080 that's now you're talking about our haters our haters are correct about this show

00:15:16.820 the one star reviews are right so another thing that this has in common with the secret is that

00:15:22.400 they talk about having the ability to like harness the power of the universe to give you whatever you

00:15:27.760 want but then the advice is always just like and we will use that power to start a small business

00:15:33.960 Yeah. Whenever she is reaching for an example of what you might want to accomplish, it's either making money or like finding a boyfriend.

00:15:40.980 That's that's another thing it always leads to. It's like how to get thin and get rich.

00:15:45.040 There's no solving child poverty chapter or anything.

00:15:49.620 It is funny because like the thing that is like most correlated with happiness is like meaningful relationships, like ability to form intimacy.

00:15:56.780 I feel like these books don't really do that. She's already telling you to shed your friends.

00:16:00.560 Yeah. But the number two thing is being your own boss.

00:16:03.960 you ever thought about that so one of the big problems that this belief system runs into very

00:16:11.040 quickly and you sort of flagged early on is victim blaming because the belief here is that your

00:16:16.160 thoughts are responsible for whatever happens to you so the bad things that happen to you are sort

00:16:20.900 of your fault even if they appear to be out of your control she says that if someone does something

00:16:26.580 awful to you one of the questions you need to ask is how did i attract this to myself

00:16:32.280 Probably the worst example of this is when she starts to talk about depression.

00:16:37.860 Have you tried cheering up?

00:16:38.800 Vibrating, vibrate in a happy way.

00:16:40.580 The way she frames this is that everyone tells themselves a story about their life and that

00:16:47.580 that manifests in reality.

00:16:49.640 So here's one part.

00:16:51.720 Let's say, for example, that your story is that you're depressed.

00:16:54.920 Chances are pretty good that even though it feels awful, when you feel awful, you don't

00:16:58.960 have to work hard or do the laundry or go to the gym.

00:17:01.440 It also feels very familiar and cozy and comfortable.

00:17:04.920 It gets you attention.

00:17:06.280 People come in and check on you and sometimes bring food.

00:17:09.320 It gives you something to talk about.

00:17:11.040 It allows you to not try too hard or move forward and face possible failure.

00:17:15.060 It lets you drink beer for breakfast.

00:17:18.220 The problem with depression is that it rules so much.

00:17:21.200 That's what she seems to be saying.

00:17:22.780 Everyone's in care of you.

00:17:23.660 You get so much positive attention.

00:17:25.640 It's like she heard just like a couple of facts about depression where someone was like,

00:17:29.120 yeah people sleep in and they stopped doing their chores and she was like sick they must be doing

00:17:34.520 that on purpose because that sounds phenomenal here's a little bit more if you were once depressed

00:17:40.260 but have decided to let it go stop listening to melancholy music stop talking about how lousy you

00:17:45.380 feel stop pretending that putting on your bathrobe counts as getting dressed etc false instead focus

00:17:51.780 on the good and do the things you love to do make an effort instead of collapsing into the familiar 1.00

00:17:56.620 feeling of being depressed these people are always such pieces of shit absolute scumbags it's so rare 0.99

00:18:03.340 that somebody writes a book where it's like ah their heart's in the right place but maybe the 1.00

00:18:07.420 execution is off this is just like you're a bad person if you think this all right here's a little

00:18:12.340 bit more we don't realize it but we're making the perks we get from perpetuating our stories more

00:18:17.120 important than getting the things we really want because it's familiar territory it's what we're

00:18:21.500 comfy with and we're scared to let it go if we've been depressed or victimized or whatever oh yeah

00:18:26.460 If we've been depressed or victimized or whatever since childhood, we trick ourselves into believing that it's really who we are as adults in order to continue reaping the rewards.

00:18:37.160 And the rewards is in quotes, which feels like she doesn't know how quote marks work.

00:18:41.760 Because we would put rewards in quotes to make fun of her for saying that there are rewards for being depressed.

00:18:47.020 I feel like as she wrote it, she knew that this was kind of an incredibly awful thing to say.

00:18:52.620 And so she just put it in quotes to make it sort of unclear whether or not she was being

00:18:57.060 literal here.

00:18:57.800 I also love if you've been depressed or victimized or whatever.

00:19:01.060 Or whatever.

00:19:01.600 No editor was like, maybe think of a third thing or maybe you can just say depressed

00:19:05.720 or victimized.

00:19:06.920 This is good tips for our listeners who I imagine are disproportionately depressed.

00:19:11.660 Yeah.

00:19:11.880 Who's not depressed?

00:19:13.300 Snap out of it, folks.

00:19:14.600 Turn off Joy Division.

00:19:15.860 Play Hey Ya by Outcast over and over again.

00:19:18.060 There is like a tiny element of truth in that like it's pretty well established that trying to push yourself to do things is in fact beneficial for people who are experiencing depression.

00:19:30.820 But that's the hard part.

00:19:32.980 Because that's kind of a – it's like that's a symptom of depression is finding it really difficult to go out and do things.

00:19:38.260 And she's like, you should go out and do things.

00:19:40.000 The idea that people are doing it on purpose is –

00:19:43.440 Right.

00:19:43.780 Come on.

00:19:44.420 And also for all the rewards, like you're so popular with your friends when you talk

00:19:47.780 about your mental health problems.

00:19:49.140 You know, this is the heart of the book and the heart of a lot of self-help books, right?

00:19:53.300 In order for self-help to work, the reader's problems need to be entirely internal.

00:20:01.460 Because if they're not, if they're structural problems or if they're really about the actions

00:20:06.300 of other people or institutions or a medical condition, then there's like only so much

00:20:11.280 advice the author can give.

00:20:13.220 Yeah.

00:20:13.300 So they have to reframe everything as a mindset problem because that's a problem that they can pretend to solve.

00:20:20.100 Yeah.

00:20:20.440 So they peddle this idea that, like, optimism isn't just helpful, it's magic.

00:20:24.360 Well, that's what's so frustrating about it is because whenever you criticize these books, they can hide behind, oh, you don't think it's good to have a positive attitude?

00:20:30.300 Right.

00:20:30.660 Sure, to the extent that that affects things.

00:20:32.920 Like, yeah, you should try to have a positive attitude and you shouldn't, like, overly focus on negative things.

00:20:37.360 But on the other hand, that doesn't solve everything.

00:20:39.500 And also you're entitled to have a bad day.

00:20:42.080 The final section of this book, and don't worry, we are not almost done this episode. 0.97

00:20:46.620 The final section of this book is titled How to Kick Some Ass. 0.93

00:20:50.120 And it starts off with probably the worst anecdote I've ever heard. 0.98

00:20:55.020 Written in the most irritating style that you could possibly imagine. 0.99

00:21:00.300 She is a terrible writer from the excerpts.

00:21:02.740 It is awful.

00:21:03.740 I thought that you would perhaps learn this as you went.

00:21:07.300 And you have. 1.00

00:21:07.880 You immediately clocked that she is an awful writer. 0.87

00:21:12.160 It's so bad.

00:21:13.040 Now I want you to recalibrate your brain because the quality of writing is about to go to a place that my guess is you didn't really believe was possible. 0.98

00:21:25.560 Remember Rich Dad Poor Dad who was like a fool and his money are one big party? 0.97

00:21:30.980 I don't know if anything can top that. 0.96

00:21:32.780 where at like 20 million copies sold no one was like that's a very common idiom that you're 0.87

00:21:39.540 fucking up oh my god that is so fucking i forgot about that god robert kiyosaki's worth like 50 0.96

00:21:45.080 million dollars i think about that all the time it's insane i know all right i've sent you a long 0.99

00:21:48.820 story she says the story goes that when henry ford first came up with the idea for his v8 motor

00:21:53.660 he wanted the engine to have all eight cylinders cast in one block i have no idea what that means

00:21:58.440 But apparently it was a tall order because his team of engineers was like, 1.00

00:22:02.180 Bitch, you crazy. 1.00

00:22:04.380 You're making me read this. 1.00

00:22:06.440 He told them to do it anyway, and off they grumbled to toil away at it,

00:22:10.680 only to come back and inform him that it was impossible.

00:22:13.380 Upon hearing this news, Ford told him to keep at it no matter how long it took.

00:22:17.500 He was all, I don't want to see your faces until you bring me what I want.

00:22:21.440 And they were all, we just proved it can't be done.

00:22:24.320 And he was all, it can be done and it will be done.

00:22:27.420 and they were all cannot and he was all can so and they were all no way and he was all way

00:22:34.180 so off they went again this time for a whole year and nothing so they go back to ford peter

00:22:40.880 like half the half the listeners just tuned out at how long that was yeah but you need it you

00:22:47.140 need it all for it to really hit your brain just really accept that this is real so they go back

00:22:52.480 to ford and there's lots of tears and finger pointing and hair pulling and ford sends them

00:22:56.560 off again and tells them it will be done again. And then in the lab, somewhere between folding

00:23:01.300 origami swans out of their notes and making fart noises every time someone mentions the word Ford,

00:23:08.280 his engineers do the impossible. That was one sentence. That's right. They discover how to

00:23:12.740 make the eight cylinder engine block. This is what it means to make a decision for reals.

00:23:17.880 When you make a no nonsense decision, you sign up fully and keep moving toward your goal,

00:23:23.480 regardless of what's flung in your path god the premise of the story was so long ago that i've

00:23:29.000 forgotten what the point is henry ford did literally nothing over the course of this

00:23:33.700 anecdote yeah it's not an attitude she's like this is about perseverance this is about making

00:23:38.020 a decision for reals he's literally just yelling at his employees over the span of like two years

00:23:44.420 until they do it it doesn't illustrate her point at all it's just like be mean to your underlings

00:23:50.500 there's genuinely nothing to learn from this anecdote i honestly don't like i don't know

00:23:57.800 what you could take away from this other than like something about unionizing maybe like the

00:24:02.380 world is so full of these anecdotes there's so many she just chooses one that's henry ford yelling

00:24:07.620 at his employees she's just assuming that you also have employees and you're not mean enough to them

00:24:12.200 so like 80 of the way into the book she finally has a chapter dedicated to making money okay this

00:24:18.120 is what i've been waiting for i've been hyped on this okay because we've cured our depression i'm

00:24:21.860 out of bed nobody's bringing me casseroles jen believes of course that the primary obstacle to

00:24:26.240 making money is that you subconsciously don't want to make money have you tried wanting money

00:24:30.600 all right sent you a bit one of the biggest obstacles to making lots of money is not a lack 0.97

00:24:34.980 of good ideas or opportunities or time or that we're too slovenly or stupid it's that we refuse

00:24:40.320 to give ourselves permission to become rich this is something me and aubrey come across a lot too 0.80

00:24:45.680 in like diet books. They're like, you don't think you have permission to be thin or whatever. And

00:24:50.140 it's like, no, just becoming thin is hard. Excuse me, sir. I believe I deserve to be

00:24:53.580 hot more than anything in the world. So let's move on to the next part of your advice.

00:24:59.500 It's a, I think, kind of like sophisticated way of reframing something that isn't your fault

00:25:04.920 into something that is your fault. They need it to be your fault so that they can solve the problem.

00:25:09.620 Yeah. Sorry, your face isn't structured like Timothee Chalamet's. That's because of God.

00:25:15.040 What else do you have for me in that situation, right?

00:25:17.460 I did.

00:25:17.940 I've been in LA for like three days and I saw Timothee Chalamet at Trader Joe's.

00:25:21.680 By which I mean I was at Trader Joe's and my friend said, wouldn't it be weird if we

00:25:24.620 saw Timothee Chalamet?

00:25:26.020 That's basically the same.

00:25:27.520 I like that I was about to reveal myself as a little pop culture freak by being like,

00:25:31.180 but isn't he on a media tour?

00:25:34.780 Isn't he in con?

00:25:35.900 I've got my fingers on the twink pulse, Mike, so don't try to fool me.

00:25:41.320 Okay, here's her other, here's her following, follow-up excerpt.

00:25:45.780 Let's say your story is that you can't make money.

00:25:48.380 By staying broke, you get to be right.

00:25:50.620 You get to be a victim, which makes you dependent on other people and gets you attention.

00:25:55.160 Other people will offer to pay.

00:25:56.840 You don't have to take responsibility.

00:25:58.560 You get to give up before you start and avoid possible failure.

00:26:02.160 If things in your life fall far below the mediocre scale, you get to blame other people

00:26:06.720 and circumstances.

00:26:07.680 instead of taking risks to change it

00:26:09.800 because you can't afford to take risks.

00:26:12.300 Yeah.

00:26:12.500 Being poor is so good.

00:26:14.500 Being poor, that's why people are poor.

00:26:16.020 It's like so good to be poor.

00:26:17.420 People are so nice to you when you're poor.

00:26:19.020 Doesn't that tell you the kind of circle she runs in

00:26:21.040 where she's like, yeah, it's great to be broke 1.00

00:26:23.540 because other people will offer to pay.

00:26:25.920 It's like, no, that's not,

00:26:27.580 I don't think you've been broke.

00:26:29.180 People are gonna think I'm being sarcastic

00:26:30.340 or like kind of overdoing it or being snarky, 0.96

00:26:32.340 but I do believe that she should go to jail 0.99

00:26:33.880 for writing this paragraph.

00:26:35.420 I'm sending you one more piece.

00:26:36.820 We choose to stay in our stories because we get what I call false benefits from them.

00:26:41.660 We get to keep our identities as a broke person.

00:26:46.040 We get to blame our brokenness on things outside ourselves.

00:26:49.660 I don't have time.

00:26:50.640 I have seven kids. 0.99

00:26:52.140 The economy sucks.

00:26:53.380 I can't find a pen to write down my to-do list with. 0.82

00:26:56.640 We don't have to push ourselves outside our comfort zones and risk failing, looking like 0.95

00:27:00.900 an idiot, losing money, changing and becoming different from our family and friends. 0.95

00:27:04.920 The list goes on and on, and it all comes down to this. 1.00

00:27:08.260 You have to want your dreams more than you want your drama.

00:27:11.700 This is what I've always said to people who have seven children in a bad economy.

00:27:16.940 You have to want your dreams more than you want your drama.

00:27:20.920 She says that she overcame this mindset when she realized that her dad showed his love

00:27:26.040 by giving her money, and so she was subconsciously avoiding getting rich because it would be

00:27:30.600 as though she was rejecting her father's love.

00:27:33.600 Wait, she just, like, admits that, like, my dad gave me money?

00:27:36.720 Yeah.

00:27:37.400 Why are we listening to these people about anything?

00:27:39.900 Your excuse for being poor is that you have seven kids.

00:27:43.460 Mine was that my dad gave me too much money when I was younger.

00:27:47.380 But also, yeah, I don't think that most people are subconsciously avoiding getting rich for bizarrely elaborate psychological reasons.

00:27:56.000 When I lived in London, I made 16,000 pounds per year, which is, like, $24,000.

00:28:01.500 dollars. And like, I would just run out of money on like the 27th of every month. And then I would

00:28:06.840 just like eat what I had in the cupboard and I would like walk everywhere. Well, wasn't it nice

00:28:10.820 that other people were paying for you? And people, I never told anybody because it would have been

00:28:15.980 too easy. I wanted to play life on hard mode. Yeah. At least with the depression thing, there's

00:28:19.260 like some element. So there's some plausible scenario to like, you can cheer your way out

00:28:24.600 of depression. But this is like straight up like objective fact of like how much money do people

00:28:29.060 have in their bank accounts. I have a story from this book that I have that absolutely does not

00:28:33.220 fit here, but I just want to tell it. She says that at one point she was staying on a farm for

00:28:40.380 free. The only thing that she had to do was watch after the horse and two goats that they had at

00:28:47.040 that farm. And one day she goes out shopping and she comes back five hours later and the goats have

00:28:53.560 gotten into the house and wrecked the place. And she tells a story. It's just like, you know,

00:28:58.240 kind of a funny story of goats tearing up this house and then at the end of it she says in order

00:29:01.740 to become rich you must connect to your desire for money with the passion of a goat who wants

00:29:06.820 in off the porch that's the lesson that she took from the story where her only job was to watch 1.00

00:29:13.220 these goats and she let them into the house while she went shopping for five hours and fucked it all

00:29:21.420 up and she's like the lesson here is about the perseverance of goats goats are just so persistent

00:29:28.820 yeah really they really go after what they want like that's the lesson jen's taking i really

00:29:33.940 learned something about goats today this is someone who like can't do anything that was

00:29:37.940 when she's i would never share that story with anyone it's humiliating 1.00

00:29:42.080 now here is another example of how jen talks about poverty she she was broke years ago and

00:29:52.040 she needed a new car and here's the story that she tells she says the most painful part really

00:29:57.300 was that even though all signs pointed to broke clueless and stuck deep down i knew i could be

00:30:02.860 doing so much better which is why even though the sound of crickets could be heard echoing

00:30:07.680 throughout my empty bank account, I wandered into the Audi dealership, took the brand new Q5 for a

00:30:13.780 spin, and let the sales guy rattle on and on about leather this and premium that. It was about much

00:30:19.840 more than a damn car. It was about no longer being the kind of person who takes what she can get and 0.99

00:30:24.920 finally becoming the kind of person who creates exactly what she wants. Buying the Honda would

00:30:30.220 have been the sensible thing to do, but I knew that adventure, true love, and a whole new way

00:30:34.540 of life awaited me on the other side of my comfort zone. I was brave enough to buy a luxury car.

00:30:40.520 So she buys the considerably more expensive car and you're sort of reading the book thinking,

00:30:46.680 well, okay, how did this work out? Yeah. And then she tells you. I almost instantly came up with a

00:30:52.160 new way to pay off my Audi. And I'm certain that if I'd bought the Honda, I'd still be struggling

00:30:56.560 to pay for it because I'd still be playing small. I'd still be in the mindset that I can't afford

00:31:01.360 more. And I'm the kind of person who has to struggle to get whatever she can, that I can't

00:31:05.900 break out of the mold and go get something completely out of my reach, etc. Just say your

00:31:10.860 dad paid for it. This is taking forever. So she says, I almost instantly came up with a way to

00:31:17.100 pay off the Audi, but she does not tell you what it is. Oh, really? She doesn't say it. She doesn't

00:31:23.660 say it. She doesn't bother? This is sort of a consistent theme where she's like, I got myself

00:31:29.920 in this situation and then i thought of a way to get out of it and at first i was like furious that

00:31:35.680 she repeatedly did this but then i realized in her mind like this is the essence of the law of

00:31:42.360 attraction like the actual method that she used to produce the money in the real world is irrelevant

00:31:47.960 the only relevant thing is her mindset so she's like she thinks that telling you how she made the

00:31:52.940 money is superfluous it's just like the natural output of her vibrating at a high frequency only

00:31:58.980 a person with money would think that that's the problem if you sort of try to boil down her

00:32:04.620 financial advice into one thing it's very clearly go into debt because like that will put you in a

00:32:13.380 more aggressive mindset oh the lesson of the honda audi thing is like more debt is actually better

00:32:20.440 because hell yeah it will like propel you forward you want to be running on adrenaline and credit

00:32:26.200 card debt for your entire 20s and 30s. This also, I hate to, I mean, I know we're like

00:32:30.720 dunking on this dumb fucking book, but to me, there's like a real societal corrosion 0.99

00:32:35.440 story here. Like it's so fucking corrosive to have these books around. It's such toxic 1.00

00:32:40.040 fucking poison. And I think the core thing that like bugs me about this whole outlook 1.00

00:32:44.780 is that you've got essentially ruling class people, wealthy people who not only want to 0.98

00:32:50.220 be wealthy and stay wealthy and have a comfortable life, they want you to fucking congratulate 0.68

00:32:54.400 them for it they want it to be virtue like oh wow you didn't buy the honda you got the audi 0.90

00:32:59.400 oh because like you're so brave it's really like an act of self-actualization to do this

00:33:03.800 yeah we're surrounded by people that are like part of the ruling class that are constantly 0.69

00:33:08.020 gaslighting us about how much money and fucking power they have yeah like you just wanted a nice 0.97

00:33:12.760 car so you got a nice car right fine i also found this rude as someone who bought a honda fairly 0.99

00:33:17.600 recently you know this is targeting you specifically she's like well i guess that's

00:33:23.780 That's my loser mindset that I was like, oh, this seems like a reliable car.

00:33:27.980 Yeah.

00:33:28.120 Why don't you have permission to get an Audi, Peter?

00:33:29.700 You didn't give yourself permission.

00:33:30.680 Next time I'm going to get a Bugatti, it's going to cost me a million dollars.

00:33:34.660 And that will, of course, propel me into a mind space where I can make a million dollars

00:33:40.260 and pay it off.

00:33:40.900 There's no other way to motivate yourself other than buying things you can't afford.

00:33:47.380 It's like the Klarna method of self-motivation. 0.94

00:33:50.200 Probably the wildest story in this vein comes from her other book, How to Be a Badass at 0.99

00:33:55.340 Making Money.

00:33:56.320 She attends a seminar about manifesting money.

00:33:59.540 Oh, it's a seminar grift.

00:34:00.940 At that seminar, she realizes she wants to be a life coach.

00:34:04.060 She's doing the grift.

00:34:05.680 She's doing it.

00:34:06.340 She's doing the grift.

00:34:07.120 Oh my God.

00:34:08.100 It's an Ouroboros.

00:34:09.060 You went to a seminar and they were like, here's how to be a seminar grifter.

00:34:12.080 And then you turn into a seminar grifter. 0.99

00:34:13.340 And this whole fucking book is teaching me how to be a seminar grifter. 0.99

00:34:16.140 The guy leading the seminar is selling coaching packages. 0.99

00:34:19.100 the top tier package is a year-long coaching thing with a bunch of one-on-one face time with

00:34:25.820 the guy and it costs 85 000 dude you are getting scammed you are getting scammed she says that

00:34:36.300 when she saw that price tag she switched her thinking from no way to there must be a way

00:34:42.080 hell yeah she starts to believe that she can manifest the 85 000 incredible here's how she 0.64

00:34:48.660 does it. Remember that $85,000 I told you I manifested to pay for my big fat coaching 0.99

00:34:53.820 package? Well, I'm a tell you how I did it because it was right up there with one of the scariest,

00:34:59.420 most uncomfortable things I've ever done. Once I decided to get coached at that level for reals,

00:35:05.020 instead of running and hiding like I did the first time around, I acted on an idea that came

00:35:09.220 into my mind the moment it arrived. I got the idea of someone I could maybe borrow that money from.

00:35:15.300 Someone who A, knew very little about coaching, and what she did know probably brought to mind 0.99

00:35:19.720 words like snake oil and manipulative garbage and bunch of weirdos. B, is the most frugal 0.99

00:35:26.060 McDougal person I've ever met. The kind who has money but never ever spends it except to stockpile

00:35:31.580 toilet paper when it goes on sale. And C, believed in me. I bought a plane ticket to fly to her house

00:35:37.200 the moment the terrifying thought took over my brain and arrived on her doorstep, surprising

00:35:41.780 the hell out of her. I risked being vulnerable to this person. I risked her thinking I was out

00:35:46.680 of my mind, irresponsible, very possibly in a cult. And I will never forget the pained face

00:35:51.700 she made when I told her how much I needed. But after a much uncomfortable discussion,

00:35:55.740 she forked it over. This is her mom, right? No, this is just a random friend as far as I can tell.

00:36:01.680 Who has $85,000? Yeah, that's because Jen manifested. 0.99

00:36:07.080 She'd never met this friend before. She made up the friend on the flight.

00:36:10.200 So she manifested this money by getting an $85,000 loan, and this is basically according

00:36:16.680 to her when her career takes off.

00:36:18.260 So she is ultimately able to pay it back.

00:36:21.140 But again, she never actually details what exactly she did to start making more money.

00:36:26.860 I also want to know so bad what the life coaching advice was that she paid $85,000 for.

00:36:31.300 The life coach was become a life coach.

00:36:32.820 That's what I was just about to say.

00:36:33.740 Like the advice has to be like become a self-help grifter, right?

00:36:37.280 Dude, imagine how hyped that guy was when the first person ever bought the $85,000 package.

00:36:45.400 Like, you know that that's just there to dangle an extra high price sort of option in front of people so that they pay for like the $5,000 option and think that it's like a good deal.

00:36:56.820 He just wanted to get her out of his hair.

00:36:58.200 He's like, I'm just going to tell her $85,000 so she stops bugging me.

00:37:00.960 And then she's like, I'll do it. 1.00

00:37:02.180 Fuck. 1.00

00:37:02.620 so again it seems pretty clear that she is telling people to go into debt in order to 0.99

00:37:09.380 shift themselves into a money-making mindset so they can pay it off i love that you have to read

00:37:14.320 between the lines of these books to find out what the advice is she says in order to transform your

00:37:19.700 life you may have to spend the money you do have get a loan sell something borrow from a friend

00:37:25.400 put it on your credit card or manifest it in some other way that's the that's the thing with all

00:37:31.020 these people. They're just like, spend money you don't have. Also, she's providing five specific

00:37:34.840 examples of what you can do to transform your life here. And three of them are just different

00:37:38.420 ways of going into debt, right? Just get a loan, borrow from a friend, put it on your credit card.

00:37:45.080 Right. Get a loan, get a loan, or get a loan. Do you have any actual advice here? Yeah. So once

00:37:49.640 again, we're left with this idea that any problem you have is just the result of your lack of a

00:37:54.260 desire to fix it. If you don't have something, it's only because you didn't want it enough,

00:37:58.680 right there's no structural inequity there's no generational poverty or anything like that

00:38:03.620 there aren't even individual barriers to getting money everything is literally vibes yeah every

00:38:10.180 chapter in you are a badass at making money ends with a mantra that you are meant to repeat to

00:38:15.560 yourself to get rich i'm gonna share with you all of the money mantras so that our listeners can

00:38:21.880 repeat themselves and get rich okay i love money because i love myself i love money and money loves

00:38:28.180 me i love money because it's the root of so much awesome i love money because money is always here

00:38:33.880 for me i love money because i love living an awesome life i love money because it comes when

00:38:39.440 i call i love money and i'm grateful every day that it's surrounding me with its glorious

00:38:44.340 awesomeness i love money because i am a fearless badass money-making machine i love money because

00:38:50.280 it makes me more of who i truly am i love money because it gives me freedom and options and that's

00:38:56.320 how i love living my life a whole lot of freedom and options i love money because it lets me be

00:39:01.980 the most me i can be i love money and will not give up until i am surrounded by all the wealth

00:39:08.300 i desire oh my god i love money more than i love any single human life i made that i made that last

00:39:15.360 one up but the rest of them are real i i can feel like i can see my vision growing redder as this

00:39:22.560 goes on that it's basically a rich person being like it's like so good to be rich i'm just gonna

00:39:27.160 tell you all the ways it's gonna be rich it's good to like eat good food it's like live in like a

00:39:31.160 super big house you guys know about this each of these mantras is accompanied by like what are

00:39:36.880 basically thought exercises to get you thinking about money the right way these people already

00:39:42.220 believe this because otherwise they wouldn't have bought the book jen i already think money is good

00:39:46.700 which is why i'm buying a self-help book about getting more money well hold on but here's some

00:39:50.460 here's some practical things you can do.

00:39:53.360 Make a list of all the reasons

00:39:55.080 why you deserve money.

00:39:56.600 Make a list of some of the beautiful things

00:39:58.740 that have happened in this world

00:40:00.140 thanks to money.

00:40:01.520 Oh my God.

00:40:02.120 Spend at least five minutes every day

00:40:04.020 sitting in silence

00:40:04.920 connecting with the energy of money.

00:40:07.260 Imagine money flowing all around you,

00:40:09.460 filling you up,

00:40:10.300 moving in and out of your heart. 1.00

00:40:11.580 Oh my fucking God. 1.00

00:40:12.340 Leave money around your house 1.00

00:40:13.940 in various places

00:40:15.000 so you get used to seeing it all the time.

00:40:18.200 Remind yourself how abundant it is.

00:40:20.460 Make it like an Easter egg hunt.

00:40:22.020 That's also great.

00:40:22.800 I love that these books also just have like straight up bad advice.

00:40:25.840 Just like little piles of ones.

00:40:28.120 This reminds me of my college roommate who used to get wasted.

00:40:32.320 And then around Easter, he would hide when he was drunk Cadbury eggs around the apartment.

00:40:36.160 And then when he was sober, he would like open a drawer and be like, oh, Cadbury egg.

00:40:40.720 Oh, wait.

00:40:41.360 Also, here's one of the practical tips.

00:40:43.440 Go on the internet and do a search for the following text.

00:40:46.080 Our Deepest Fear by Marianne Williamson.

00:40:48.600 What?

00:40:48.900 Print it out, tape it to your refrigerator, and read it as often as possible.

00:40:52.300 Oh, my God.

00:40:52.780 Me and Aubrey talked about this on the show.

00:40:54.740 It's a poem by Marianne.

00:40:56.220 Yeah.

00:40:56.600 This is her whole thing about how you're afraid of being thin and hot and rich.

00:41:00.500 Yeah. 0.99

00:41:00.780 All you're doing is you're selling people on the premise of the book while still fucking 0.95

00:41:04.580 wasting time not giving them tips.

00:41:06.960 It's basically reasons you should buy this book.

00:41:09.020 What do you mean?

00:41:09.420 Those are tips.

00:41:10.320 Write down all the reasons that you deserve money.

00:41:14.040 You're changing the mindset.

00:41:15.880 Tips exist in the real world, and the real world is fake.

00:41:18.900 what's real is your vibrations and she's telling you how to vibrate michael my god this is this

00:41:27.280 is like my biggest pet peeve where like you go on youtube to like learn something specific and

00:41:32.320 you're like how to iron a shirt or whatever and then you click on a video and it's like 0.71

00:41:36.160 don't you hate it when shirts get wrinkled having a wrinkled shirt is the worst we hate it you're

00:41:41.440 like yes i'm on the video you're telling me reasons i should be interested in this video

00:41:45.780 but I'm already here. When I am frantically YouTubing how to tie a bow tie, I'm in a hotel

00:41:52.880 room and I need to be at a wedding. I don't have time for you to explain the history of bow ties.

00:41:59.420 Please move forward. The first word of your video should just be like one. So at one point,

00:42:04.980 Jen says, my first experience with the power of mastering your mindset happened when I was

00:42:09.640 working with my very first private coach, the one who helped me start my online business,

00:42:13.740 helping writers complete their book proposals called WriteYourDamnBook.com.

00:42:18.080 So she's pitching her website in the middle of this.

00:42:19.920 Yeah. 0.95

00:42:20.200 And who was also helping me hone my chops as a life coach.

00:42:23.640 At the time, I'd worked with a couple of private coaching clients of my own here and there

00:42:28.060 and had basically tripled my annual income with WriteYourDamnBook.com.

00:42:32.360 Oh, so it is The Grift.

00:42:33.240 To be clear, at this point, Jen has written one not very successful book, which we'll 0.82

00:42:38.080 talk about shortly, and is admittedly broke.

00:42:40.780 And she is selling her coaching.

00:42:42.840 Yeah, and she's selling advice, someone who's failed at the thing she's giving you advice on. 0.99

00:42:47.120 Jen wants you to buy expensive coaching packages so that you can eventually sell expensive coaching packages. 0.90

00:42:54.640 Like these people have nothing material to contribute to society.

00:42:59.520 They can't even tell you how to make money except as part of like this circular economy where everyone is both scamming and being scammed at all times.

00:43:10.700 There's repeating the scam to you.

00:43:12.840 That they fell for.

00:43:13.780 Now, that would have been basically the whole episode, except I found something so unhinged

00:43:20.460 that it changed the arc of what I was doing.

00:43:22.700 Okay.

00:43:23.120 Like I have sort of referenced, in 2005, Jen Sincero wrote another book.

00:43:28.640 I'm going to share with you a screenshot of the cover.

00:43:32.480 Okay.

00:43:33.560 Wait, what?

00:43:34.520 Mm-hmm. 1.00

00:43:34.840 It says, The Straight Girl's Guide to Sleeping with Chicks. 0.80

00:43:38.840 So this is her first book. 0.94

00:43:40.200 It's a book about, well, let's be clear.

00:43:44.160 This is exactly what it appears to be. 0.99

00:43:46.720 The Straight Girl's Guide to Sleeping with Chicks. 1.00

00:43:49.400 This is an entire book dedicated to pretending that bisexuality is not real. 0.99

00:43:54.640 That is what this is. 1.00

00:43:56.300 Hell yeah.

00:43:56.740 And I realize it was 2005, but my God.

00:44:00.060 Little shout out here to a YouTube channel, Savvy Writes Books.

00:44:04.040 Oh yeah, Savvy.

00:44:04.920 She had a good video on this book and the other Jen Sincero books, which unfortunately I found

00:44:09.500 her videos for those after i uh was almost done the episode and then i cried because i could have

00:44:15.180 saved a lot of time yeah she's a good follow yeah i'm gonna touch on some of the greatest

00:44:19.540 hits from this book uh a lot of it is just tips for lesbian sex there are pictures of posed barbie

00:44:26.580 dolls with like little strap-ons for visual aid that's why it took you so long to research this

00:44:30.860 episode peter i will not be weighing in on this content you're like unfortunately i just have to

00:44:37.860 read more i have to do more research for this episode look there are no two people less 0.73

00:44:42.140 qualified to weigh in on this content there's only one acceptable type of gay sex and that's

00:44:46.820 male on male that's why we're working together on the straight guy's guide to sleeping with dudes

00:44:51.140 i want to be i want to be clear about some things up front here if you identify as straight but then

00:44:57.080 like hook up with someone of the same gender and then you're like well that wasn't for me or that's

00:45:01.820 not my main thing whatever you still consider yourself straight that's fine i'm not gonna

00:45:05.900 to nitpick the labels that people apply to themselves.

00:45:09.520 And I have some sympathy for someone who's scared to identify as bisexual at a time when

00:45:13.680 it wasn't as accepted, right?

00:45:15.160 You know, those are sort of my caveats going into this.

00:45:17.640 I think you are wildly overthinking this, Peter.

00:45:20.260 I think she was trying to sell a book.

00:45:22.340 Oh, I agree.

00:45:22.940 I always love finding like the previous grift attempts by these grifters where like they

00:45:28.100 just couldn't really make it work.

00:45:29.680 Like I guess she was vibrating wrong, but like she was shopping around like this is

00:45:33.560 like a little persona.

00:45:34.360 And she actually basically says in the book that the title is clickbait.

00:45:39.160 Like she basically says that.

00:45:40.600 Yeah.

00:45:41.200 I'm being very careful because you can't get canceled for this.

00:45:44.440 You can say whatever you want.

00:45:45.720 I can literally do anything right now. 0.95

00:45:47.300 About lesbians and bisexuals. 1.00

00:45:49.000 In fact, lesbians and gay men hate each other. 0.85

00:45:52.560 That's not even true. 0.95

00:45:54.320 That's like a weird thing that people say, but it's not actually true.

00:45:57.380 No, that was an episode of Modern Family.

00:45:58.880 I remember it quite well.

00:46:00.480 So with all those caveats about how I'm not biphobic.

00:46:04.360 anything like that. I'm not problematic about this stuff. She literally says, quote,

00:46:09.440 it's not at all uncommon for straight women to get into committed monogamous relationships with

00:46:15.460 other women. But it's not uncommon for vegetarians to eat meat. That's that's the thing. She does 0.84

00:46:21.280 this whole like labels who needs them. Sexuality is fluid thing throughout the book, which like, 0.89

00:46:26.380 sure. But there's a difference between saying, hey, I'm not into labeling my sexuality and being

00:46:31.460 like oh i'm straight but i'm in a committed sexual and romantic relationship with someone

00:46:36.620 of the same sex because that's not what straight needs no you're not doing sexual liberation you're 0.92

00:46:43.000 just ignoring established human language you're you're getting into sexual dolezal territory if

00:46:49.620 you keep insisting you're straight this i also do not think that this should be a problematic take

00:46:54.500 i think that if you were like in a committed relationship with someone of the same sex

00:46:58.560 you don't get to do this thing where i'm like i'm straight it's like words mean something she talks

00:47:03.780 about moving in with a woman that you're in a relationship with she says quote if you live with 0.99

00:47:08.480 your girlfriend but still call yourself straight people get up your ass even more than they do if 0.99

00:47:13.040 you're just dating oh yeah yeah i'll bet if by like up your ass you mean they're like jen can 0.99

00:47:17.820 you please just stop calling yourself straight it's getting disingenuous jen it's one thing to 0.99

00:47:23.420 like not want to deal with labels it's another to just identify as straight while you're fully

00:47:28.160 in a relationship with another woman which like by the way what does she think of the fact that

00:47:32.620 you identify it straight in this scenario on my wedding day the guy i'm marrying is like so as a

00:47:37.360 straight guy i do take mike it's very it's very annoying when someone's like labels i hate labels

00:47:42.660 i am straight though do not call me a fucking bisexual so she has various tips throughout the 0.80

00:47:48.380 book uh some of them are just completely off the wall unhinged and some of them are quite normal 0.99

00:47:52.720 one of them is lesbians are into women if you're just experimenting don't be a dickhead and you 1.00

00:47:58.140 her for sex when you can tell she has feelings for you zero pinocchios i'm gonna send you 1.00

00:48:02.720 oh my god all right i'm starting to sweat i'm gonna send you you're so nervous for people 0.99

00:48:08.560 yelling at you i'm on your side it's not it's not that it's not that this one it's just that

00:48:13.300 it's getting it's gonna get increasingly unhinged and i felt like in the beginning i needed to give

00:48:19.340 these qualifiers because it seems like maybe this is going to be a situation where the title seems

00:48:24.800 problematic but then the content is like yeah whatever yeah it's actually a situation where

00:48:30.480 the title seems fine compared to the content oh my god so it's like a little graphic with like

00:48:35.180 little icons of ladies and it says famous straight women who've dabbled madonna britney spears ann

00:48:43.740 heche eleanor roosevelt xena not a real person ali sheedy ione sky janice dickerson shinead o'connor

00:48:53.100 Frida Kahlo, Allie McBeal, Kim Cattrall, Drew Barrymore, Angelina Jolie, Lisa Marie Presley,

00:49:00.300 Margaret Cho, and Cynthia Nixon. These are bisexuals or just like straight up lesbians 0.96

00:49:05.700 in some cases. So a couple of these are fully fictional characters. Yeah. Xena, warrior princess.

00:49:12.960 I was like, is this a joke? Yeah. First of all, Xena, as far as I can recall, doesn't like actually

00:49:19.520 like hook up with or date a lady on screen she's just sort of a lesbian icon because a lot of 0.99

00:49:24.200 people thought yeah it was pretty heavily implied or whatever she's literally just a strong woman

00:49:28.740 and this author thinks that she's like dabbled and also again not not a real person yeah janice

00:49:36.360 dickerson i believe she means janice dickinson oh yeah just fucks the name up eleanor brosevelt 0.75

00:49:44.700 come on i mean some of these people are either bi or lesbian like margaret cho is just openly 0.89

00:49:50.620 queer frida kahlo is just openly queer cynthia nixon i think was not openly queer when this

00:49:57.840 book came out so i i will i will i will forgive her for that one but several of these people are

00:50:03.820 just actually bisexual so like when we talk about bisexual erasure it's not just in like the the

00:50:09.420 abstract sense she's literally just being like margaret chose straight also i love i i love

00:50:14.300 doing like straight men who've dabbled neil patrick harris elton john just like just like

00:50:20.720 openly gay men liberace oh god also like i some of these are like when you say britney spears are

00:50:29.120 you talking i don't think when she leads off with britney spears and madonna is she just talking

00:50:34.100 about them making out on stage at like the vmas she was brainstorming that's the first thing they

00:50:40.260 come where have i seen two ladies fooling around ah yes so this gets quite problematic quite

00:50:46.840 quickly okay there are again a ton of like little standalone tips and stuff throughout the book

00:50:52.280 one of them is labeled sleeping with chicks tip number one and it's quote alcohol is a gateway

00:50:59.800 drug to sleeping with members of the same

00:51:01.800 sex. I'm roofing women, but 1.00

00:51:03.860 in a straight way. I'm gonna send 1.00

00:51:05.940 you... This gets

00:51:07.860 rough. The very funny

00:51:09.940 thing about the dynamic of the show is that you are more offended

00:51:11.820 by homophobia than me, I feel like, because

00:51:13.840 I'm just, like, more used to it. I'm like, yeah,

00:51:15.820 give me the problematic shit. 1.00

00:51:17.960 Yeah, well, when I... I have to fake 0.99

00:51:19.860 it.

00:51:23.620 The minute the microphones turn off.

00:51:26.800 When I read

00:51:27.960 this i was like she's spitting truths you know she says i'd like to point out a special bonus 1.00

00:51:32.780 prize that the straight girl population might not be aware of because you're a chick dealing 1.00

00:51:37.320 with other chicks you have the curious straight girls all access backstage pass you automatically 1.00

00:51:42.420 gain entry to saunas group showers dressing rooms and a host of other intimate settings 1.00

00:51:47.100 where women are not only off their guard but naked you have a coveted vip pass don't waste it 0.99

00:51:53.660 this is like some Andrew Tate shit. 1.00

00:51:56.280 Are you kidding me? 0.99

00:51:57.180 This is really bad.

00:51:58.900 This is vile.

00:52:00.260 It's just like, yeah, women don't suspect you. 0.98

00:52:03.720 Yeah, just like ogling them. 0.95

00:52:04.780 Use their trust in order to see them naked in semi-public settings.

00:52:09.680 That's the hot tip here. 0.81

00:52:11.780 You knew this was going to be so homophobic. 1.00

00:52:13.680 The straight girl's guide to sleeping with chicks, 0.98

00:52:16.560 you knew it was going to be so homophobic so fast. 0.94

00:52:18.820 I mean, is it homophobic or are we really talking about 0.79

00:52:21.020 the problematic actions of this lesbian you know she continues think about all these situations 1.00

00:52:28.240 you could get yourself into that would make sleeping with a chick a snap and then she 1.00

00:52:33.880 provides a list host a slumber party slash kegger at your sorority house complete with beer bong 0.94

00:52:40.440 and group sleeping area to get a game of twister going at your next pool party three suggest that 1.00

00:52:47.600 the bride-to-be model all her new lingerie at your next bridal shower. Four, take pole dancing 1.00

00:52:53.640 lessons with your hot friends. Five, hire a female stripper at your next bachelorette party. Six, 1.00

00:53:00.000 play truth or dare with your friends in a hot tub. Seven, ask for help unzipping your dress

00:53:05.100 in the locker room. Eight, get a bikini wax from a hot chick. I don't know about that. 1.00

00:53:11.160 oh my god i want i want her face to be very close to my butthole when i when i propose let's get a 0.68

00:53:17.920 coffee nine instigate a game of spin the bottle at your next girl's night out okay peter i have 0.94

00:53:23.900 a theory okay this is a dude writing under the name jen whatever to try to make this sound 0.98

00:53:30.820 progressive because these are all like rapey ass andrew tate tips wow the misandry coming out of 0.98

00:53:37.420 you right now dude this is fucking wild several of these are just like create situations where 1.00

00:53:45.500 you can low-key grope someone yeah get a game of twister going one of them is like apparently 0.99

00:53:51.140 try to fuck the bride at a bridal shower um i i love i love that this is so problematic that 0.99

00:53:57.760 you're like this can't be a woman it's also so wild that like just as a society this is also 0.99

00:54:02.020 the societal corrosiveness thing that like just as a society like 95 of tips for getting women are

00:54:08.440 just like non-consensual flirting with them it's never just like go to a thing where you both have

00:54:14.640 the same interest and introduce yourself go to a lesbian bar yes jesus christ i can't believe this 0.98

00:54:21.440 shit this is like how is this in new editions of your book oh wait so they're republishing this 0.99

00:54:26.500 now that her subsequent book blew up not only is this republished there's like a foreword from 0.99

00:54:32.560 2016 where she defends the book oh no way she's like they called me homophobic they called me

00:54:38.760 just for saying bisexuals don't exist and lesbians are straight women who dabble if i'm her and i'm 1.00

00:54:44.960 rich as hell off of you are a badass and like whatever bullshit coaching stuff i'm selling 0.99

00:54:51.900 I'm talking to Simon and Schuster, and I'm like, under no circumstances do you let people 0.97

00:54:56.480 know about this book.

00:54:57.280 Yeah, that's the thing.

00:54:57.620 You got to bury this book, man. 0.99

00:54:59.020 Take it off of like IMDB and shit. 0.99

00:55:00.880 I wanted to end on a lighter note. 0.77

00:55:03.160 So the last thing I will mention is that this book also has little inserts purporting to 0.82

00:55:08.660 teach you lesbian vocabulary. 1.00

00:55:11.340 Oh, no. 1.00

00:55:11.820 I am 80 to 90 percent positive that she is making these up.

00:55:17.160 Is one of them body tea? 0.77

00:55:18.040 One of them is Daikon, which she says is a famous woman revered by lesbians.

00:55:23.880 Oh. 1.00

00:55:24.300 So it's a combination of Dyke and Icon. 0.86

00:55:27.580 It's also a kind of radish.

00:55:28.640 That's where they get the name.

00:55:29.420 Not the only time in the book she drops the D-bomb. 0.97

00:55:32.800 Yeah. 0.99

00:55:33.100 And sorry, Jen, I know this might sound weird coming from me, but I don't think you can

00:55:38.720 say that.

00:55:40.840 If you're going to spend the whole book insisting that you're straight, you don't still get

00:55:46.980 to say it.

00:55:47.620 That's not how this works.

00:55:49.100 The benefit of being poor is that people give you money. 0.97

00:55:51.300 And the benefit of being gay is you get to use slurs. 0.99

00:55:53.720 There is one clear benefit to being any marginalized minority. 0.57

00:55:58.400 You get to drop the slur if you want to.

00:56:01.180 Many of the vocabulary things are just wildly vulgar.

00:56:07.440 And another one of them is puddle jumping, which is switching between fingering your partner and yourself. 0.94

00:56:14.880 And then there's carpooling, which is using the same dildo at once. 0.98

00:56:20.260 What?

00:56:20.620 And then she says she calls dental dams veggie wraps. 1.00

00:56:25.140 She says that a one-night stand with a lesbian is called a lickety split.

00:56:30.260 I know that our listenership contains many dedicated lesbians, so I am calling upon you.

00:56:35.720 You need to tell us whether these are real.

00:56:39.700 If any of you have heard any of these, please reach out.

00:56:43.900 I remember when I studied abroad in Australia as, like, part of the welcome package, they gave us this little, like, pamphlet about, like, Australian slang.

00:56:51.840 Like, these are the words you should know to live here. 0.93

00:56:53.620 And one of them was instead of sad, they say happy as a bastard on Father's Day, which I never heard anybody say. 0.95

00:57:01.620 I think someone was just doing, like, improv comedy. 0.97

00:57:04.100 Yeah, yeah.

00:57:04.680 And just, like, put it in there.

00:57:05.900 I think that's, like, what she's doing.

00:57:08.200 This whole book sounds like she's, like, doing a bit.

00:57:10.160 She's obviously trying to do forced humor at many points.

00:57:14.980 So like you're sitting there trying to figure out if she thinks that Xena is a good example 0.70

00:57:19.380 or a joke.

00:57:20.260 It's also kind of indicative of how these books come about where it's like it's not

00:57:23.500 really funny enough to be a comedy book.

00:57:26.260 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:57:26.780 You can package almost anything.

00:57:28.400 If you write an advice book, you can basically write a memoir but like pretend that it's

00:57:32.240 advice or you can write like a stand-up comedy book that just like isn't that funny.

00:57:37.040 I feel like almost any mediocre writer and mediocre idea can be repackaged as advice and then sold.

00:57:44.640 I think a lot of that is, like, the function of these books because, like, she just couldn't really make it as anything else.

00:57:49.460 And, oh, God, like the way that the Henry Ford anecdote is written where it's like he was like this and they were like this.

00:57:56.280 Yeah.

00:57:56.440 Is that supposed to be funny?

00:57:58.620 Is it supposed to be charming and endearing in some way?

00:58:01.440 Like she always says for reals.

00:58:03.540 I know.

00:58:03.860 Am I supposed to, like, smile at this or is it supposed to just, like, make me feel like she's relatable or something?

00:58:10.020 Right.

00:58:10.220 I honestly don't know because she's not funny. 0.97

00:58:12.460 It's not funny.

00:58:13.680 It's not well written.

00:58:14.900 It's not really advice.

00:58:15.980 It's not really humor.

00:58:17.680 It's not really insight.

00:58:19.340 It's an advice book.

00:58:20.660 I do think Daikon is better than Femininominon or whatever that one is. 0.86

00:58:25.260 Femininominon? 0.54

00:58:26.220 Femininominon. 0.93

00:58:26.740 Got bold move, Peter, to spend 15 minutes defending lesbians and then go after Chapel Roan right as people can hear the theme music coming back. 0.97

00:58:35.780 Yeah. So anyway, that's the book. Again, I'm not going to I'm sure that the sex tips are great. 0.93

00:58:40.740 We're not going to go into it.

00:58:42.160 I would not.

00:58:56.740 Thank you.

If Books Could Kill - January 23, 2025

You Are A Badass

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