00:07:57.220handle me with care and then Roy Orbison sings I'm so tired of being lonely I still have some
00:08:05.760love to give won't you show me that you really care and I I love this song especially because
00:08:14.960it's like it's a beetle you would think to yourself like this is one of the most rich and
00:08:20.000famous people in the world surely he doesn't have any problems but then when you read these lyrics
00:08:24.120Like, and you think about how George Harrison was the youngest Beatle. He was basically a teenager when all of this crazy stuff started to happen. And how do you even process this kind of fame, this kind of expectation, even, you know, like a whole industry that's been built around you as like a teenager who plays the guitar.
00:08:46.200It must have been impossible for him to process. And then, of course, like, a crazed stalker fan stabbed him, broke into his house and stabbed him. Like, there's nobody out there, even a Beatle. There's nobody out there who hasn't had some kind of struggle or isn't currently struggling with something.
00:09:10.360And again, I mean, this is one of the richest, most famous people in the world.
00:09:15.500But here we have this desperate plea to be handled with care.
00:09:21.920And I also brought Handle Me With Care by the Now Time delegation, which was like a 2000s group who sort of brought the sound and the aesthetic of 60s soul music into the 21st century.
00:09:36.860It's very retro sounding. And so this, this one is more dedicated to like a lover or friend or your family. And I will bring Lisa Kakela, the lead singer of Now Time Delegation back next week because I want to talk about some of her other projects because she is like a religious icon for me.
00:10:02.100but she sings i've given you my life to share please handle it with care i'm depending on you
00:10:13.000and you know the way it's like the her voice like handle me with care and it was so evocative
00:10:23.960and she keeps singing over and over in the song like that's all i'm asking handle me with care
00:10:30.600handle this life that we're trying to build together with care and i feel like we all need0.79
00:10:37.920that we're all struggling we're all under resourced we're all fucking pretending that0.55
00:10:43.900we're fine when we're not to save face um we're all doing all of these kinds of things so like0.68
00:10:49.080my prescription number one handle me with care now time delegation if you have a lover or a
00:10:57.400family member or a child or a pet, I want you to pull them in for a slow dance to this song.
00:11:02.900And if you are alone, you are not alone. I want you to pull yourself, pull yourself in to wrap
00:11:12.440your arms around yourself and slow dance with yourself to this song. And remember to like
00:11:18.740handle yourself with care. And when you go out into the world, see if you can extend that notion
00:11:27.220of care to everyone you encounter. Assume that the person who cut you off on the highway is going
00:11:33.480through something because they are. And see if you can handle that situation with care.
00:11:39.560See if you can also talk to yourself. Handle your own struggle with care. We've been brainwashed
00:11:48.700into, you know, be tough and stiff upper lip and don't let anyone see you sweat and don't let
00:11:56.940anyone see you cry and i feel like the more that we can be honest about our inadequacies
00:12:05.960about you know our time at shame camp as risa puts in a shame camp is like i'm keeping that
00:12:13.620turn of phrase forever and see if we can handle that with care see what we can handle with care
00:12:21.560whether it's someone you don't know that you assume has it all together or your own struggle
00:12:30.500like that's all I'm asking handle me with care that's all I'm asking is to see if we can handle
00:12:41.140each other with care in this moment and this is such profound magic right like
00:12:51.480tending to each other take lessons from the fire
00:12:55.820this has been a recurring theme for me this week i oh you know as i said we're up late nights
00:13:04.040may was out from school all week little kids are sick man i don't know we're in the northeast
00:13:10.760You've seen the numbers in New York and up the Northeast for this strain of COVID and RSV.1.00
00:13:39.220for some reason i've decided i'm taking care of everybody this morning i make coffee and i'm
00:13:43.480making the fire and he pauses behind me and in my head i know that he is preparing to criticize
00:13:53.260and tell me all the shit i am doing wrong making our fire because he is someone who's kind of0.96
00:13:58.840constantly optimizing shit in life and um i snapped at him like i said something shitty um it was a0.98
00:14:07.600quick moment but and i you know i was tired but still it wasn't fucking cool and we kind of go0.98
00:14:13.540through the day maids around we never really talk about it end of the day he comes to talk to me and
00:14:18.360he's like you know talking about how he carries a lot of fear from the time that we had a chimney
00:14:24.500fire and he's put a lot of work and research into trying to figure out how to do good fires but
00:14:29.720actually in that moment he was just like thrown off his rhythm and was like was like a record
00:14:35.140scratching for a sec and he wasn't honestly gonna say anything and anyway and I thought you know
00:14:42.460maybe like we could have a better system for mornings or something he's often his solution
00:14:49.280to problems is better systems which like in 99% of cases is correct but this time I was like0.97
00:14:55.260all yeah all all of that thank you but mostly like I just can't fucking talk to you like that0.95
00:15:03.120Like, I shouldn't talk to anybody like that. Like, I have to handle you with care. I have to be so kind and gentle with you. Like, you're my partner in life. Why am I being a snappy, sweaty house witch?0.86
00:15:15.140like and you know and he his whole face crumpled and he cried and thanked me and gave me a huge
00:15:24.480hug like just to hear for once that it wasn't his fault I think he goes into a lot of conversations0.99
00:15:30.080carrying a white man guilt like really feeling like shit women have been treated like shit0.99
00:15:37.940and I really need to not be like that and so analyzing my my actions and trying to see how0.99
00:15:43.920I can be like an equitable partner and sometimes I just gotta tell him like it's not you this time
00:15:49.000like oh I'm just a flawed crummy person sometimes you know and I'm really sorry
00:15:57.340but we got so much more repair out of that I think than than other times when when maybe I
00:16:05.100would have been like more more looking at like other drawing in other imbalances in the family
00:16:10.300or other systems we could be working on or whatever it's like no I was under resourced
00:16:15.860and I was a dick and I'm sorry um but also the idea of tending to the fire it's really dear to
00:16:25.040me right now I mean in part because that's what we're doing right that's so much of what our days0.91
00:16:29.820are it is really really really cold and we haul wood and we keep the fire going and also that's
00:16:39.200my prescription for this week i after my nerves were just shot this morning um i was looking at
00:16:48.300some of the different songs that i had thought about bringing to the prescription this week um
00:16:54.420but none of them really felt like they were the right energy for how raw i was and i needed
00:17:02.040something that would be like honey a little bit on my system today and I ended up spending the
00:17:09.080morning listening to Joyo Ladukun and I prescribe her I prescribe all of her to all of you there's
00:17:18.800so many really lovely songs she she's born in Texas grew up Nashville she's the child of two Nigerian
00:17:29.020immigrants she describes seeing tracy chapman playing guitar one day and her whole world opening
00:17:38.100up and so many of her songs and her videos are so moving there's one called sunday that she says
00:17:48.200was just what she needed to see when she was a little queer kid in the bible belt it's just like
00:17:55.320happy gay families just like healthy loving their kids you know playing on the beach0.84
00:18:02.880just like just queer joy you know um I recommend that one too but the prescription for me at least
00:18:13.420for this week is her song keeping the light on um and really because it is about how hard
00:18:23.000that can be and how hard that has been throughout history you know just trying to keep this little
00:18:30.460green planet alive trying to keep our kids alive trying to have hope under monstrous inequality
00:18:37.920she says keeping the light on ain't easy keeping the fight on for so long is hard to do
00:18:47.020for all the times you feel the weight there might just be a better way don't deny that it feels so
00:18:53.900hard when the night gets so dark keep keeping the light on try to give a little try to be a little
00:19:04.560it can be so hard to see a light in the dark when you are in a very dark place
00:19:17.200And sometimes it can be easier to be the light in the dark than to see the light in the dark.
00:19:29.940So, I mean, we're talking about fire and keeping the fire going.
00:19:34.500And this is like, again, you know, like Risa said, it's minus 20 and there's six feet of snow on top of everything.
00:19:45.640And and I would I would love for us to be able to like collectively agree as the human species that, you know, the month of January is like we reduce everything to what you need to do to survive.
00:20:03.620like if we could just like i got you know get a everyone gets a government grant and has their
00:20:09.820freezers filled with food and so you don't have to think about anything other than like keeping
00:20:14.940the fire going which literally you know outside the metaphor is like a full-time job to to keep
00:20:22.900a fire going all day it's like it doesn't sound like it but it like requires more time and energy
00:20:29.160than you would think but if you don't you know have a fireplace then let's extend the metaphor
00:20:35.620to like just keep the light on if we could agree for like one month of the year that we can just
00:20:44.220do what we have to do and not keep piling more and more like the falling snow until we break
00:20:51.540under its weight like i would love for january to be like keep the fire going make soup you know
00:21:00.440shovel the snow everything that you have to do to survive and then if we could really see everything
00:21:08.820else that we pile on top of ourselves as to the side can we even do that are we even capable of
00:21:16.560like resting but not to the point where we are you know screwing ourselves i don't know how else
00:21:26.260to put that not to the point where you know we let the fire go out back to the metaphor like
00:21:32.400if we could rest to make sure that our coals are still glowing what can we do to keep our fire
00:21:43.020going and can we just do that can we just do that for a minute when we have these little devices
00:21:51.960that have a 24 7 run of atrocities that we can either go to shame camp for ignoring or go to
00:22:01.540shame camp for um witnessing and feeling helpless inadequate yeah inadequate and helpless in the
00:22:10.600face of these atrocities i mean it feels like a choice every day do i do i expose myself to
00:22:19.520every atrocity that's going on in the world so that i feel informed and adequate um despite the
00:22:29.640the toll that it might be taking on me because again the other side of that coin ignore ignore
00:22:34.700ignore is like equally as malevolent i think to our systems to to pretend um that there's
00:22:44.680not a lot of work to be done out there because there is there's a lot of reparation work to be
00:22:50.600done um so how do we decide like what is key for our survival and what can be put to the side for
00:23:03.200a moment because if we let our if our fire goes out then we have to start again if we can keep
00:23:10.520some coals warm then we can we can get that fire going from those right i'm sort of like
00:23:16.640extending the metaphor to the point where i'm not even sure if it makes sense anymore but
00:23:20.880what i'm saying is like like let's handle ourselves with care so that we don't put
00:23:31.020out our own fires i guess and i'm gonna add a weird witch prescription it's not weird if you're
00:23:38.620a witch but if you're if you're just witch curious and you're here with us today welcome um i last
00:23:45.040night i got up in the night because that's what we've been doing and i came upstairs and instead
00:23:52.620of it being like all pitch black out the windows you know you could see the lake and you could see
00:23:57.780the forest and the mountains and stuff in that weird blue light and I remembered it was like the
00:24:02.960first day of the the full moon series or whatever and I was groggy and I lay back down and as soon
00:24:09.460as I lay down I sort of regretted it like I should have rushed outside into the snow in the night to
00:24:15.020be with the moon you know and I heard in my sort of imagination dream space something like the idea
00:24:22.340of like, this is why we want you to dance under the moon. And I've been thinking about dance and
00:24:28.020revelatory moments of expression and finding each other, finding people who will like howl and
00:24:34.880cackle and let you sob and tell the truth and coming together and letting our bodies be like
00:24:41.460exposed to the light of the nighttime, like all the ways in which that can really fuel us,
00:24:48.900can resource us you know in these weird sideways ways so this is my this is my other piece of the
00:24:55.700prescription it's not a song but let me first just say the way you articulated this to me earlier
00:25:01.220today was there are reasons we need you to dance under the full moon and i wrote it down and i
00:25:10.540wrote it down because i love this idea of there being reasons whether we are fully aware of them
00:25:18.620or not there are reasons why we we whatever spirit was talking to you in that moment we need you to
00:25:26.020dance under the full moon let's make this a requirement even if we don't understand0.88
00:25:31.580what that reasoning is fuck yes me from a couple hours ago was right um so this is the piece uh0.85
00:25:42.960I have this piece of art that hangs next to where I record and write that Amy gave me for my wedding.0.95
00:25:50.040It's a piece of art by Monica Cho, and it has the words written by Doreen Valiente on it.
00:25:56.420It says, listen to the words of the great mother.
00:26:00.460She says, whenever you have need of anything.
00:26:03.520Once in the month and better it be when the moon is full.
00:26:07.460Then you shall assemble in some secret place.
00:26:10.200to these I will teach things that are yet unknown and ye shall be free from slavery
00:26:17.800keep pure your highest ideals strive ever toward it let not stop you nor turn you aside
00:26:26.120mine is the cup of life and the cauldron of caridwin I am the mother of all living and my
00:26:34.040love is poured out upon the earth. I am the beauty of the green earth and the white moon
00:26:40.300among the stars and the mystery of the waters and the desire in the heart of woman. Before my face
00:26:48.800let thine innermost self be unfolded in the raptures of the infinite. Know the mystery
00:26:56.340that if that which thou seekest thou findest not within thee thou will never find it without thee
00:27:05.940for behold i have been with thee from the beginning and i await thee now0.80
00:27:15.600blessed fucking be doreen valiente we we await thee we await thee now and keep the light on0.97
00:27:24.000please and handle me with care and handle you with care and take that ethic of care and see if0.99
00:27:31.060you can like force yourself to bring it into the world that seems uncaring see if you can bring0.86
00:27:38.960care to a world that seems uncaring handle yourself with care handle me with care I fucked up I wasn't0.96
00:27:45.520even recording when we tried to do this before handle me with care everybody I cried six times0.97