Missing Witches - MW Rx. 43 - Yes, We Practice Magic

00:00:00.000 The Spirit is rising, she's rising, she's rising.

00:00:05.460 The Spirit is rising, it's rising, it's rising.

00:00:10.340 The Spirit is rising, they're rising, they're rising.

00:00:15.320 The Spirit is rising, they're rising.

00:00:18.820 Hello, listeners.

00:00:20.700 Hello, coven.

00:00:22.020 Hello, friends.

00:00:23.160 Hello, Amy.

00:00:24.360 Hi, Risa.

00:00:26.300 How are you doing today?

00:00:28.080 What's getting you through? 0.98

00:00:30.000 oh man this fucking week um okay i have stories i got scoops and stories okay 0.99

00:00:39.080 um okay i'll start with this one so um this week i went on like a solo research writing adventure 0.99

00:00:54.220 this is like i mean lifelong dream come true like one to be able to drive anywhere first of all i

00:01:01.980 got my license at like 40 um to be able to have the like means and resources and time to allow

00:01:10.480 myself in my brain to like take a night off and go and like make an appointment with an archivist

00:01:18.740 And like go into the basement and into these archives and work with these beautiful, brilliant women archivists and for an afternoon and then like spend rainy afternoons in graveyards and feel so just kind of led by the wind on those days, which I'll tell you guys, frame it in that way for you guys.

00:01:42.860 But often when I drive, I have needed to listen to this same playlist, like I add things to it. But it has very much been like my emotional support playlist for driving, you know, driving, driving these mountain roads, icy mountain roads, bad weather.

00:02:03.160 But also I'm just like, I never really drove. So everything is new and being able to sing along to something really like anchors me back in my body and helps my helps me keep my anxiety from overtaking my brain.

00:02:21.740 And it helps me stay like really in the present. Somehow being distracted helps me stay in the present. Please write it and tell me if your brain works like that also.

00:02:30.560 um so normally I listen to this exact same playlist because I know all the words to all

00:02:36.960 the songs but I had had this experience being following these ghosts in these cemeteries and

00:02:44.820 really feeling like um unleashed somehow like I was like blowing in the wind I was also like

00:02:55.440 writing and thinking about lichen and especially the kinds of lichen like witch's hair or

00:03:00.120 old man's beard that really do travel they they are untethered they blow and and find new places

00:03:06.940 um so I had just left this cemetery where I had found what I'd been looking for and I'll tell you

00:03:15.760 that is that story another time but I'm weepy I'm emotional it's pouring rain I'm gonna map

00:03:21.640 myself to this river I want to see so I'm throwing my myself into the arms of the AI

00:03:28.300 you know like just just take Siri just like tell me when to turn and I'll turn like I don't want

00:03:34.240 to you know I'm going to be on these strange mountain roads and she and I drive really well

00:03:38.600 together I just trust her we go weird places together and I'm like I'm going to trust the AI

00:03:44.800 musically as well so I I started with a song and we're on the road and and at one point I was just

00:03:52.440 I had been taken on such a ride by Siri.

00:03:57.420 I'm in these roads that must have been cut.

00:03:59.660 They felt like they were cut hours before.

00:04:01.980 And they're just like the dirtest of dirt roads.

00:04:04.900 There was no reason to take me on this shortcut away from a small, quiet highway.

00:04:10.320 But here I am.

00:04:11.080 I'm on like a logging road.

00:04:12.840 It's all new development.

00:04:13.940 It all feels really strange and wet and snowy.

00:04:17.060 And the road is so scuddy.

00:04:18.920 And I'm bumping up and down in the car.

00:04:21.100 and then on the radio comes this song i've only heard it on um you know generated playlists before

00:04:28.680 i didn't really know this song and it came on and it just felt i don't know it felt important

00:04:35.100 to me this week and i've listened to it a bunch of times since um it's called no reason it's by

00:04:42.220 toss and the the sort of central so the the guy who makes it he's like comes out of a relationship

00:04:52.520 of like 15 years is like has a broken leg or something like he's just so he's homebound he's

00:04:59.220 a professional trumpet player he makes this like layered and you know it sounds like what i like

00:05:04.540 it's like a guy face to face with loneliness and a desire for magic in the world alone in his room

00:05:10.400 layering his own voice like that sounds like multiple people i've brought to this podcast

00:05:14.280 before but the core piece the core verse for me is i want to be happy for no reason

00:05:27.860 Like the sun rising exactly in every season

00:05:37.280 I want to be happy for no reason, like the sun rising exactly in every season.

00:05:45.040 You've been here before, you've opened the door, you walked straight on through,

00:05:49.000 there's nothing to do and nothing is wrong if nothing is right.

00:05:52.760 we're happy now and yes we practice magic

00:05:58.480 yay yay you know it's like I was laughing in the rain on this dirt road just feeling very held

00:06:09.380 and feeling very very like I have been so heartbroken and full of rage at the constant

00:06:20.260 brutality enacted towards Palestinian citizens and children I'm sure you have too all of you

00:06:28.000 listening and it is such a complicated place in the world but there's nothing complicated about

00:06:33.180 saying that children are sacred you know and that you can't you can't can't claim safety while

00:06:41.900 using like laser scopes to amputee children like that that's just so deeply wrong and so

00:06:51.260 infuriating and every time I I forget for a second that it's happening I feel more rage and guilt and

00:06:57.380 shame and write more senators and and and just feel so useless and and then I read this quote

00:07:05.000 this week and this is another theorist I was introduced to by Christopher Marmolejo whose

00:07:11.920 episode will come out this week so you'll hear our interview with them talking about tarot and

00:07:17.260 decolonial divinatory practice what a beautiful writer and thinker and the book is so rich with

00:07:24.660 indigenous and queer and theorists from the global majority it's such a research project

00:07:31.960 to read this book because I go down every possible rabbit hole of learning about the people

00:07:37.220 that Christopher quotes. And I read this quote from José Esteban Munoz about utopia,

00:07:44.700 about queer utopia. And they wrote, the here and now is a prison house. 0.96

00:07:50.900 And that alone just hits me so hard, you know. The here and now is a prison house. We must strive

00:07:56.800 in the face of the here and now's totalizing rendering of reality, to think and feel a then

00:08:04.040 and there. Some will say that all we have are the pleasures of this moment, but we must never settle

00:08:10.040 for that minimal transport. We must dream and enact new and better pleasures, other ways of

00:08:18.260 being in the world and ultimately new worlds and I feel that I feel that in you know white guys

00:08:28.980 alone realizing that they want to just step through the door and be happy like the sun

00:08:33.960 and that they too want to practice magic I want to welcome everyone together into imagining better

00:08:42.660 ways of being and whole new worlds so that's my first bit the prescription you said first bit

00:08:51.520 okay here's the second bit okay so this is also about like um the comfort song

00:09:02.220 um and so first i have to say i have to ask you i don't know if you have this thing amy that

00:09:10.900 happens i know a lot of people do but a lot of people don't do you have a thing that happens

00:09:15.120 in your brain where you replay like something that you said like months or years or decades

00:09:21.020 before and you like scream cringe to yourself uh yeah okay oh my i still think about things that i

00:09:28.000 said or did when i was like eight nine years old i'm just like your whole face flushes and you just

00:09:34.040 want to like i do want to say that someone said something to me that was so useful that was like

00:09:39.600 if you're cringing at something you did in the past that means that you've evolved

00:09:43.320 and so like I don't begrudge myself my my cringing at my past because that means like now I know

00:09:49.680 better now now I know better than to say something like that or or do something like that so that

00:09:55.540 that's very comforting to me yeah I'll take that um this one is like a funny one because it also

00:10:02.760 I think I'm pretty comfortable with um the cheesiness of my taste now in my relationship

00:10:13.220 with you I don't believe in cheesy I don't believe in corny I think if you love it then

00:10:20.580 like it's wonderful period when I first started hanging out with Amy I was very intimidated

00:10:26.240 to talk about music because you know there are two professional musicians in the house

00:10:30.860 the house is lined with records and there's such a like a life and a dedication to understanding

00:10:37.340 music and to knowing it so but from the beginning like uh Amy has Amy has been very consistent

00:10:44.020 in her like there is no there's no like you should have known this it's always I'm excited

00:10:50.980 if you get to discover something I'm always excited to discover something new tell me about

00:10:55.560 what you like it you know so um that's good I just I just want to interrupt real quick because

00:11:01.640 this this ties to like that cringe factor you know yeah of like when I was younger if someone

00:11:07.560 was like oh have you heard of da da da I'd be like oh yeah and I would lie because I didn't

00:11:12.920 want to seem like uncool or whatever but really what I was doing was like robbing myself of this

00:11:18.600 person telling me about this thing that I didn't know about so I lost that bad habit when I was

00:11:24.380 like 15 years old I realized that it was not oh I think I held on to that for so much longer it was

00:11:29.980 like a castle of isolation I built in myself of like I know it I got it don't worry I got all the

00:11:37.460 pieces to the point of like and I do the I would do the opposite I still do the opposite if someone

00:11:41.700 asks me about something and I do know it now I'm often like nope because I can't remember enough

00:11:46.500 about it to speak to it intelligently so I do the opposite too where I'm like oh don't know anything

00:11:51.780 about that might have written my thesis on it but i got nothing done no problem questions i got

00:11:58.020 nothing um anyway i i have been like periodically like cringing and giggling since this episode you

00:12:06.520 and i did a wild back of the rx where i was talking about a florence and the machine song

00:12:12.700 daffodil which is a great song and at some point to the end of talking about it i said and then

00:12:18.040 but so hard it goes so hard and I laughed afterwards being like my context for like a

00:12:26.260 song going very hard is has been like so limited for so long because I get like migraines and I

00:12:33.600 lose my vision and stuff if certain like with like mathematical kinds of music or really hard

00:12:38.600 kinds of music so there I just forget that like my bandwidth is so narrow and is so like really

00:12:46.520 my bandwidth is like sad people singing softly alone in their room it's like the majority of

00:12:51.980 what my brain likes and so for me to get into a song that's like Florence and the Machine level

00:12:56.780 heavy and then I got off that call and was like the kinds of music that Amy and Andy listened to

00:13:02.640 like she must have been like heavy like if she listened to that yeah I brought like a post

00:13:08.720 hardcore band for the rx this week too like today so yeah recently i don't talk about what songs

00:13:17.620 we're bringing but there always seems to be connective tissue for sure so this week um i've

00:13:24.120 also like aside from getting to have this creative escapism i also have like a bunch of doctor's

00:13:31.660 appointments like a ct scan and a mammogram and i think everything's fine but i gotta go get

00:13:36.140 everything checked out and have also been dealing with the fear that maybe not everything is fine

00:13:40.960 um and so i had to i drove myself to what i thought was an mri which is also it's great

00:13:48.060 when you think you're going to an mri and it turns out it's a ct scan that's like two hours

00:13:51.980 versus five minutes that's a really nice surprise to have tricked myself into by not listening well

00:13:57.900 um but i was driving myself to what i thought was an mri and my family wasn't back yet so i had to

00:14:03.880 go solo it's like half hour you know mountain roads to get to this appointment

00:14:08.020 and the only thing I could handle listening to just like level out I'm back in my like 90s indigo

00:14:17.420 girls stage and all of what I just said was context to be able to bring up the indigo girls

00:14:24.340 with all the love in my heart so much love for the indigo girls so much love so much especially

00:14:32.140 90s indigo girls yeah so i had that album on repeat for a little while and i recommend i mean

00:14:39.840 i recommend 90s indigo girls for anybody but also i recommend like if there was an album that you

00:14:46.400 listened to in the spring when you were a teenager that like symbolized like your teenage hope and

00:14:55.080 rebelliousness and your sense that things could change and your sense that everything was opening

00:14:59.540 and the smell of spring and the sense of like everything is possible the world is so much more

00:15:06.600 than what i knew that is what this album is for me but please this week listen to whatever that

00:15:12.560 album is for you and like hold that tender version of yourself the song i want to bring is the wood

00:15:19.380 song

00:15:19.880 Sometimes I ask to sneak a closer look

00:15:24.200 Skip to the final chapter of the book

00:15:29.600 And then maybe steer us clear from some of the pain it took

00:15:36.060 To get us where we are this far, this far

00:15:42.740 And I just want to read the last little piece of the lyrics.

00:15:49.880 Um, so Emily Saliers writes,

00:15:53.820 Sometimes I ask to sneak a closer look,

00:15:57.100 skip to the final chapter of the book,

00:15:59.520 and then maybe steer us clear from some of the pain it took

00:16:02.720 to get us where we are this far.

00:16:05.340 But the question drowns in its futility,

00:16:07.920 and even I have got to laugh at me.

00:16:10.860 No one gets to miss the storm of what will be,

00:16:13.840 just holding on for the ride.

00:16:16.340 And the wood is tired, and the wood is old,

00:16:19.180 and we'll make it fine if the weather holds but if the weather holds we'll have missed the point

00:16:25.600 and that's where I need to go and it connects me back to my optimism again but also to knowing like

00:16:32.980 I gotta go through it we just gotta can't skip it we gotta go through to get to that other side

00:16:41.340 that imagined other world together that definitely brings me to my prescription and my feeling

00:16:48.600 this week. The wood is tired, and so am I. I am so tired this week, and I don't know if it's

00:16:58.600 daylight savings time or the Ides of March that I need to beware or, you know, my brain chemicals

00:17:06.400 or my thyroid in revolution. I don't know. I do have a doctor's appointment coming up, so I don't

00:17:11.900 think my doctor can cure the Ides of March or an existential malaise that's brought about by real

00:17:18.220 world events and not just you know my brain concocting things but the wood is tired as

00:17:24.540 as the indigo girl said and so i brought two songs both called i'm so tired

00:17:30.740 it's okay it's okay you know some of the greatest bands in the world have felt this

00:17:38.580 way and i'm gonna prove it right now the first one that i brought is the beatles i'm so tired

00:17:45.060 and the outro of the song the kind of hook of the song for me the best part of the song for me is

00:17:57.260 at the end they repeat i'd give you everything i've got for a little peace of mind

00:18:02.320 i'd give you everything i've got for a little peace of mind that's where i'm at right now i'd

00:18:09.980 give you everything i've got for a little peace of mind so if you've got some peace of mind like

00:18:14.500 I would love for you to share it with me because I'm so tired and y'all know about the Beatles so

00:18:22.060 I don't need to get into that any further the second one that I brought is a song called I'm

00:18:28.320 So Tired by Fugazi now Fugazi is this post-hardcore band that I'm talking about they came out of

00:18:35.620 Washington and they were kind of you know Ian Mackay was their leader he was also in a band

00:18:40.560 called a minor threat and they were sort of the social conscience of a punk movement they

00:18:49.860 kept their ticket prices at five dollars for as long as they possibly could without

00:18:56.180 you know not being able to eat when they were on tour they made so many of their shows all ages

00:19:03.780 because you know like risa said children are sacred and they didn't think that young teens

00:19:09.820 who were you know just figuring out who they were should be extricated or or prevented from entering

00:19:16.580 that scene even though it meant that they wouldn't make as much money because they couldn't serve

00:19:20.620 alcohol they were adamant adamantly against slam dancing and so they would tell people in the crowd

00:19:28.480 like we don't do that here they thought of slam dancing as like an act of violence which

00:19:33.880 you know it is it's sort of controlled you know getting that aggression out but

00:19:38.560 Fugazi didn't see it that way they just saw it as an act of violence so they were like

00:19:43.460 we're not doing this at our shows um Everett True was like a music journalist and he

00:19:49.480 said that um Ian McKay and Fugazi quote had a mindset that believed that any involvement with

00:19:58.500 the system was corrupting, and that you should create completely alternative structures outside

00:20:06.360 of that system.

00:20:28.500 so the lyrics for I'm so tired in part go like this I'm so tired sheep are counting me

00:20:41.700 no more struggle no more energy no more patient and you can write that down it's all too crazy

00:20:49.900 and I'm not sticking around so when Ian McKay sings this and if you've never heard of Fagazi 0.92

00:20:56.020 and you listen to this song it doesn't sound like a fugazi song it's like croony and piano-y

00:21:02.020 and if you're like oh i love this i'll probably like fugazi uh

00:21:05.320 check out their whole catalog beware your brains yeah they were they were like a post-punk a post

00:21:13.400 hardcore band um and you know when makai sings like it's all too crazy and i'm not sticking

00:21:21.560 around he's not talking about dropping out completely he's talking about like if you don't

00:21:27.760 like the scene then build your own scene and what happened with Fugazi was that they sort of drew

00:21:35.480 all these people who had similar ideas as they as they did they were so much about that DIY

00:21:43.940 not just the aesthetic but the real principle of DIY like much like Risa and I we everything

00:21:49.980 that's missing which is is the two of us and our membership still has a one dollar or ten dollars a

00:21:57.100 year you can join because we don't believe that your money should be an obstacle to your magic

00:22:04.000 and this is sort of the punk rock version of that fugazi you know like also just to shout out

00:22:10.360 we're able to do that because we also have a tier that's like ten dollars where people don't really

00:22:15.380 get anything more they just pay more because they can that allows us to keep a one dollar tier like

00:22:20.800 and when amy says we make everything we make everything we do all the editing we do all the

00:22:26.400 research we do all the writing that's this we maintain the website this is like a two-woman

00:22:32.620 show and we are completely like supported and sustained by a community of people who believe

00:22:40.400 in that same thing like believe in like the kindness of making something new that's safe

00:22:45.340 so especially with love to folks at the community supporter tier if you've ever thought i could

00:22:50.460 join those people or if you i haven't been able to join just know there's a one dollar tier that

00:22:55.500 is supported by people in the community it's a scholarship tier you don't have to justify

00:22:58.800 anything you don't have to tell us anything come join the covenant whatever place feels right for

00:23:03.720 end of plug plug of love a plug of love and also a plug for fugazi who again created a scene that

00:23:13.580 was um in line with their values even though the scene was not necessarily the scene that they came

00:23:21.040 up in was not necessarily in line with those values um and then the people came the people

00:23:27.880 whose values were in line with that came and again you know all ages shows were so important

00:23:33.180 for them um and risa you said earlier there there are other ways of being in the world and fugazi

00:23:39.400 is kind of you know like a a emblematically punk rock of that for me they didn't have merch because

00:23:47.260 again they were trying to keep their overhead low they're trying to keep their costs low okay if we

00:23:51.260 make t-shirts then we have to bring someone to sell the t-shirts and then you know we have to

00:23:55.180 pay that person we have to so we're just not doing it you know that that kind of thing where like

00:24:00.320 again these like that sounds familiar also yeah

00:24:04.460 so again like i just want to say like if you're so tired some of the greatest minds in music have

00:24:16.540 felt that way too you know john lennon and paul mccartney and ian mckay of fugazi have also been

00:24:23.800 tired and maybe you're thinking i'll give you everything i've got for a little peace of mind

00:24:29.840 Or maybe you're just not tired enough where you have a little bit of energy to create a new world that doesn't make you feel tired. 0.78

00:24:40.720 And that's that garden that Fugazi grew and were so influential there.

00:24:47.100 If you look at people who talked about Fugazi being like one of their favorite bands or one of the most, you'll find like the people from The Clash and people from The Ramones and this rippling effect.

00:24:59.840 That Fugazi had by sticking to their ethics and demanding to create a scene that was non-violent, non-capitalist, non-sexist.

00:25:09.920 It was a big deal for them for like, quote unquote, girls to be able to be involved in the scene.

00:25:15.240 And they saw slam dancing as a barricade for that, you know. 0.99

00:25:20.260 And so they said, we're not having that in our shows.

00:25:22.780 And you can do that too.

00:25:24.240 You can put on a show, metaphorically or literally, where you make the rules. 0.99

00:25:29.160 And that's, even though I'm so tired, and again, fuck daylight savings time. Can't we just be in rhythm with the earth? Like, madame. Even if you're so tired, there is like this space where you can figure out other ways of being in the world that don't make you feel so tired. 0.98

00:25:49.320 i want to add um one other example of like being heartbroken and tired and

00:25:57.000 throwing your pennies forward to reinvent the world um adrian lenker from big thief which is

00:26:05.040 a band that i think i brought to the first or second episode of these prescriptions

00:26:10.380 um their song simulation swarm is one of my like deeps like it's on the car list it's one of the

00:26:18.560 like deep like a dance dance it out like I'm in a like a trance like and I'm I'm seeing through

00:26:24.640 the simulations for him with Adrienne Liker I love her um she released an album on band camp

00:26:32.260 this week so outside of any kind of label work it's the songs recorded as she wrote them

00:26:40.300 so you hear her breathing you hear her fingers moving it's the very first recording of brand

00:26:46.480 new songs that will probably end up on other things and elsewhere but she's selling it um

00:26:53.080 as part of her work to raise money for a ceasefire it's only available on her band camp

00:27:01.640 um which i will link to in the um in the rx but the album was called i won't let go of your hand

00:27:13.700 and 100% of the proceeds she's donating to the Palestine Children's Relief Fund.

00:27:20.720 I just, I know she's been so heartbroken as we all have.

00:27:24.760 She's been really vocal about it.

00:27:26.340 And so to take the like intimacy of the first pass of your songs

00:27:30.600 and make them public as a way of asking people to join you in your heartbreak

00:27:38.100 and to send that money to kids.

00:27:40.160 It's just one more way of doing it, believing in a future.

00:27:43.700 give you everything I've got

00:27:45.740 for a little peace of mind

00:27:46.960 I'll give all the proceeds of this

00:27:49.820 album for a little peace of mind

00:27:51.780 right

00:27:52.200 and bless it 1.00

00:27:55.720 fucking me 1.00

00:27:56.420 and bless it fucking me 1.00

00:28:13.700 I love myself and all of me 0.99

00:28:16.280 Love myself and all of me

00:28:18.620 I love, I love, I love myself and all of me

00:28:22.900 If you want to support the Missing Witches project, join the coven

00:28:28.240 Find out how at missingwitches.com

Missing Witches - March 18, 2024

MW Rx. 43 - Yes, We Practice Magic

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