Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - A Moving Banana

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00:00:30.000 Two best friends, both alike in dignity, nurturing phantoms and courting the muse. 0.99

00:00:34.880 The hag divines when something must die. 0.98

00:00:37.220 Yes, that was Poog. 0.96

00:00:38.300 But this is huge. 0.97

00:00:39.900 The ego loves to see, but never to find.

00:00:42.720 It was Berlant and Novak the whole time.

00:00:47.160 Good morning. 0.99

00:00:48.820 Good morning, Poog. 1.00

00:00:50.880 Morning, Poog. 1.00

00:00:52.980 Starts to glimmer.

00:00:54.880 Okay, okay, I'm getting buttons together this morning.

00:00:57.840 i was up at dawn looking up how to have um fun buttons right where i hit it and it says morning

00:01:02.940 poog actually up at dawn no 45 minutes ago okay you got it just making sure buttons like pins

00:01:11.460 no no remember i was talking about for poog wanting to hit a button morning poog oh yeah

00:01:19.400 poog air yeah morning radio yeah um i woke so excited okay no that's not true i woke whatever 0.99

00:01:31.500 and then oh fuck my cunt oh my god yeah it truly has become non-stop for you chris will you bring 0.99

00:01:40.140 me a big book i'm really sorry i need to lift up my my screen i'm in a bad mood i'm by the way 1.00

00:01:46.820 you know what's really going around sickness people are dropping like flies and i'm like really

00:01:51.440 and like you hear my voice i didn't sleep so well last night and you can hear my voice you

00:01:57.620 hear something right what dryness kind of i'm not experiencing symptoms but slightest

00:02:04.500 symptom radar we need a symptom radar button i'm experiencing the slightest hear it pinging

00:02:13.080 like it's coming your way like tracking the symptoms i feel the slightest by the way i mean

00:02:19.060 it's disgusting but almost like a sore in my in my roof of my mouth almost like a food allergy sore

00:02:24.680 like something wow wow but also i my throat kind of hurt from talking last night talking talking

00:02:32.400 talking i don't know right a classic um a classic the injuries of a woman at dinner can't be denied

00:02:41.500 okay okay the uh okay my vin there goes my vintage pencil sharpener i know you're all going give me

00:02:53.500 a link put it in the hag shop well i could but it would be a link to you know a single ebay

00:02:58.940 oh that's funny the aura ring single ebay item in the hag shop one hag has a chance they better run

00:03:05.320 like because i found the vintage item okay go on sorry what were you about to say

00:03:09.680 No, just that I was awake in the night again

00:03:12.220 because of the animal 1.00

00:03:13.520 and the little fucking cock-sucking wall. 1.00

00:03:15.840 Oh, right. 1.00

00:03:16.620 But the point is,

00:03:17.840 I thought, oh, I'm tossing and turning.

00:03:22.360 I go, what is this, six hours of sleep?

00:03:24.440 And?

00:03:25.280 That might be enough.

00:03:26.300 Or a ring says eight hours, 17 minutes.

00:03:28.940 Wait.

00:03:30.160 Oh.

00:03:30.780 I got more sleep than I thought.

00:03:31.860 So you had a narrative.

00:03:34.220 I was like, I'm awake for hours.

00:03:36.900 I was like, I've been awake for hours.

00:03:38.480 I was awake.

00:03:39.220 This is what's so interesting about – I mean, by the way, is it interesting?

00:03:43.160 Yeah.

00:03:43.600 Time will tell.

00:03:44.820 But I was awake – I thought I was awake for like two and a half hours.

00:03:47.400 I was awake for 50 minutes.

00:03:48.460 See, this is what I'm talking about, okay?

00:03:51.980 It's like –

00:03:53.640 This is where – and I have – this is where – sorry, I fell.

00:03:57.840 You can see it.

00:03:59.240 By the way, this is pretty exciting because I got this in the laundry room,

00:04:03.220 this weighted thing.

00:04:05.420 There it was in the laundry room.

00:04:07.100 Oh.

00:04:07.400 This weighted boom arm.

00:04:09.220 I was like, that's exactly what I need as I was dropping things there.

00:04:12.620 Because people in the complex leave things in the laundry room for each other.

00:04:18.440 Because by the way, yesterday, sense of time, right?

00:04:21.560 I go, let me just throw these in this thing.

00:04:24.360 We're going to the laundry room.

00:04:25.140 I go, let me just throw these in this thing, right?

00:04:26.920 And I go, and by the way, it's my covers for my outdoor patio,

00:04:30.080 which is their new cheap but soft fuzzy covers for my outdoor patio. 1.00

00:04:35.180 Your new name is going to be called, you're a patio girl now.

00:04:38.540 Oh, I'm patio lifestyle.

00:04:40.640 It's an extra room.

00:04:42.660 You know, it's like a whole new room.

00:04:45.340 Okay.

00:04:46.140 Okay.

00:04:46.520 By the way, everything got rained on.

00:04:47.680 Remember I tore the trim off?

00:04:48.680 Oh, yeah.

00:04:49.200 Okay.

00:04:49.600 Point is, point is, point is.

00:04:50.740 Sorry.

00:04:51.600 I hope you don't lose what you're talking about.

00:04:53.060 Okay.

00:04:53.700 But I just got to say, I was like, patio girl.

00:04:56.160 Oh, I go one second.

00:04:57.400 I go, this will take one second.

00:04:58.800 Chris goes one second.

00:04:59.640 And I go, I'm going to show him because a lot of times I can do it. 0.51

00:05:01.420 It'll usually be a slow second where I'll go, okay, one Mississippi.

00:05:07.560 And I'll do it.

00:05:08.020 now this time i went tried to stuff these bags into this hamper really quick these patio covers

00:05:13.600 that were fuzzy they're cheap but throw them in the wash they're the kind that wrap around the

00:05:17.560 elastic you might want to try it we have the same burrow patio furniture okay i'm interested and you

00:05:22.640 could save the real the nice look for when you know your guests come over and are gonna be admiring

00:05:27.280 that item i almost just took my tits out i'm excited because by the way it's cheap it's 0.94

00:05:35.900 Sweeps. 0.99

00:05:36.340 Cheepsie. 0.99

00:05:36.840 Just sweeps. 1.00

00:05:38.060 Sweetie.

00:05:38.780 Okay.

00:05:39.660 It's cheap.

00:05:40.540 Okay.

00:05:40.820 It's crass.

00:05:41.860 Okay.

00:05:42.120 And yeah, it's from Amazon.

00:05:45.540 Yeah.

00:05:45.880 Totally.

00:05:46.200 Totally.

00:05:46.300 I'm sorry, guys.

00:05:47.280 I'm sorry.

00:05:48.300 By the way, I just took my zinc that I swear by.

00:05:52.460 Vitamin code, raw zinc.

00:05:54.200 I just took three pills.

00:05:55.680 Okay.

00:05:55.880 Interesting. 0.99

00:05:56.640 I'm not fucking around. 0.97

00:05:57.960 But wait, wait. 0.98

00:05:58.620 Make a note because we got a lot.

00:06:01.560 Oh, no.

00:06:03.620 What?

00:06:03.800 I had Chris bring me Advil.

00:06:05.020 because this is headache poog by the way i'll tell you why i got one straight dude in stream

00:06:10.640 i immediately got a headache and i said bring me advil you know i begged okay and because sometimes

00:06:17.520 i have to have okay sometimes i need someone to do something for me that guy i can't do it my

00:06:21.160 help because i'll get distracted along the way so anyway there's one advil here what the hell is

00:06:25.040 going on did i take the other one or did it fall i see it okay i see it it's loose and i see it

00:06:29.480 all right here they go 20 minutes from now let's see if it's gone let's see if advil promise

00:06:32.640 rides again okay cool i love that fast track it okay got it so 809 so don't forget we were

00:06:40.360 because there's seven things so patio cover why did you say 809 what the hell is that it's 9 15

00:06:45.320 what's the 809 or is it okay no 8 20 are we've technically been recording for eight minutes

00:06:53.460 funny it feels like four to me point is i go one second i start stuffing these wet patio cushions

00:07:00.140 in because my system failed me because i am for chicness without a trim the edges got wet but i

00:07:06.680 go this is exactly what the point of these tear them off easy throw them in because it's just

00:07:10.420 elastic okay taking your actual cushion cover off welcome to nine months without covers on your

00:07:16.240 cushions okay because i did that once and okay and the cat hair didn't leave anyway so so because

00:07:21.580 apparently you throw it you know doesn't matter okay point i'll send you the product you're gonna

00:07:27.480 know this is cheap but i love it okay this is cheap i get the job done and then you save it

00:07:31.960 when the guests come over to admire your altar out of the corner of their eye right in the grove

00:07:36.580 okay my altar's not happening yet i know but you i know i know but you pull you pull that you pull 0.98

00:07:42.260 the cheap shit off okay you hide it behind an aluminum siding and it's fresh for them so 0.98

00:07:47.840 and that's really a new coffee table i need a new outdoor coffee table do you think i could 1.00

00:07:52.100 beg from burrow again can you imagine well sweetie i got bad news for you anything's possible

00:07:56.760 definitely okay but i got news for you our contact at burrow moved along they told us they'd let us

00:08:03.600 know where they land and we just want to shout you out again maybe someone new maybe there's a

00:08:06.880 new someone new at burrow there's a burrow not that far from me on the braya by the way we've

00:08:10.340 we've gone but you know what you know what i'm actually now considering asking burrow for the 0.93

00:08:17.200 kind of thing i never want or give a shit about and go who is even doing that you know a mother 0.88

00:08:22.980 of nine right begging for the covers as in as in the like rain cover like the like cover up your 0.95

00:08:31.460 patio furniture you know i'm talking about you mean i think burrow sells them for like probably

00:08:36.600 like 1200 and i'm always like well obviously i'm not getting that you know what i mean mine will

00:08:41.420 have to dry naturally now i'm going i think i want it point is point is i go one mississippi

00:08:47.140 two mississippi three mississippi okay and i go all right let's get you real i'm not gonna say

00:08:50.400 throw out this one second thing and then fake it if it's not happening and i got to a good 13

00:08:54.240 seconds okay 12 to 13 seconds i had it in i'm running after chris okay and i go i was only

00:08:59.400 off by a factor of 13 okay now 13x because i thought one second it was interesting because

00:09:04.880 i was surprised this is this is unbelievable but my mania

00:09:08.880 by the way all i've had half cap incredible so i want okay i'm speeding because i just i'm trying

00:09:21.840 to get through this because i feel a compulsion to tell you right okay and so i'm just trying to

00:09:25.400 get us back but i have to believe the listener's enjoying it okay there are times where i have to

00:09:29.680 trust the listeners loving it even if you're in hell okay go go because i'm actually packing

00:09:34.640 density go okay all right so so so self-consciousness reigns now all right you've shamed me

00:09:42.260 you've shamed me into submission the audience knew the listener the eavesdropper heard the silence

00:09:46.720 they go go you're gonna cry i'm not i'm strong folks here's on the road okay so so so anyway

00:09:53.800 can't remember get to the laundry room what was i telling time why don't know i've lost it all

00:09:59.220 it's gone point is point is factor of 13 it's all i heard what you're off by factor of 13 oh right

00:10:07.480 in terms of thinking that it would take one second so i don't know i don't know why i was

00:10:11.000 talking about that okay but i did get to tell you about the patio covers i do want to beg for more

00:10:16.060 from burrow i'm in a conversation with i'm going to shout them out in case that in case you know

00:10:21.900 i work something out with them and the shout out becomes relevant yeah you know um vintage concept

00:10:26.200 on um what is it on no i don't it's santa monica industry i don't know okay it's a gorgeous gorgeous

00:10:31.840 mid-century modern they restore they sell it's lovely okay i you know and i'm in a direct dm no

00:10:39.460 text we moved off to text because i'm trying to get rid of my my gorgeous chrome and velvet

00:10:45.720 heavyweight lounge chair you know point is go on facebook marketplace post it immediately delete

00:10:53.840 go i can't i can't this is like 1997 this is like myspace 97 like this account there's like

00:10:59.660 like like comedian bastards on there from like like totally it's myspace type facebook where

00:11:07.100 you just accept friend requests in the 80s because that was the equivalent of a follower 0.98

00:11:12.040 it's disgusting can't do it point is i got so much to talk about today we'll get to it later

00:11:16.820 oh i'm sorry okay well first of all first of all symptom radar is fully accessed and i've already

00:11:22.860 decided or sitting here i go maybe tomorrow i think i might go to pause and we ho and get a

00:11:28.180 drip you'll so right by my house you could pick me up i love it i would love but i got news for 0.74

00:11:32.160 you i got news for you you know where else there's a pause mere studio city bitch down ventura i know

00:11:37.660 but the question is would you ever do well no you would do a drip post-workout because that's like 0.97

00:11:42.060 it's not like you're right yeah you sweat it out and then you go and you fill it up yeah nad plus

00:11:49.540 no too scared i know i know what would you be getting see you you you go to the altar wait

00:11:56.140 i talked about this right i talked about this that i was signing up to get nad no spray i had

00:12:02.120 to talk about this on my health pod on my on my health podcast i go i need an ad were they um

00:12:07.880 skewer uh the latest crazy fat in wells no we don't we're dead serious yeah it's a comedy podcast

00:12:13.880 She is on one today 0.84

00:12:16.820 Half calf folks

00:12:18.060 I repeat half calf

00:12:19.360 First of all

00:12:22.960 Well there's nothing

00:12:24.560 No health radar

00:12:26.840 I think we were deep in your health radar

00:12:28.720 Symptom radar

00:12:30.040 Raw zinc I'm taking it

00:12:32.280 Considering drip tomorrow

00:12:34.700 I am supposed to work out today

00:12:36.240 What are your thoughts

00:12:36.960 With me 0.99

00:12:38.820 I fucking wish 0.98

00:12:40.580 Oh honestly 0.99

00:12:42.060 i know you're going to some some fool other than me yeah i know i have a couple sessions left in a 0.92

00:12:48.620 package oh elsewhere and you could be dancing oh but i sent you this it reminds me because 0.95

00:12:55.280 you know i have this idea for this non-toxic workout wear that i was designing three years

00:12:59.640 ago okay do you recall with these natural fibers laced up point is and then i sent you something i

00:13:05.260 got i got as you'd say horny okay for i sent you a website i was like ecodelights or something.com

00:13:11.800 this is years ago what no years ago i was trying to design work where and i mean workout where and

00:13:18.260 i still am okay okay mere yesterday or so where are you kate berlant oh i'm here honey you literally

00:13:27.080 going uh we're no like you literally did berlant again on a freaking clip berlant she's out of

00:13:34.180 control okay wait eco i said let's beg for eco i sent you a thing eco cult okay you should be

00:13:41.360 horned up for this this is this is your life okay let's see if it pops up and i sent you directly

00:13:47.700 to the shop these brands okay i go i go see this this is a site where you can just get really 0.97

00:13:55.240 fucked up just just if you just want to go down a path why exactly is polyester so bad

00:13:59.920 okay wait poog breaking news breaking news i've received a message and i don't think this i'll 0.98

00:14:07.060 just say first name, but I don't think Brad will mind me sharing. I'm currently listening to the

00:14:11.340 latest episode and need to tell you you're not consuming too much sodium. I work for an Australian

00:14:17.180 electrolyte brand and have done lots of research. No, modern research. He said lots of modern

00:14:21.280 research. You don't get enough high quality trace mineral pack sodium from food. So much of it is

00:14:27.080 regular diets comes from processed packaged foods. Well, not my diet, sweetie. They're using sodium

00:14:32.040 for preserving again not my diet sweetheart and your body will excrete any sodium you don't need

00:14:37.640 no but that's the point he's saying not your diet like this is other people who are consuming a

00:14:42.480 bunch of sodium anyway go on he says i run whatever he's shouting out so dehydration if

00:14:48.800 you want to try ancient australian lake salt less maldextrin than element i'm listening

00:14:53.840 all natural single dm and he's he's shot he's get he's getting a full plug yeah i'll be bleeping

00:14:59.560 that name and asking for ten dollars ten dollars to unbleep um and uh but listen today i'm 10 days

00:15:08.960 i have to say something i'm 10 days no electrolytes yeah and jacqueline guess what i'm about to tell

00:15:14.760 you i have not felt or complained about feeling bloated in 10 days oh yeah you told me this two

00:15:19.860 days ago okay okay i'm glad to hear it's holding you know what i mean no i'm just i'm just banging

00:15:24.300 I'm just laughing like and then like 12 days you're like Jacqueline you're like I've been 1.00

00:15:31.300 off electrolytes for 12 days sweetie get ready hold on to your ass because I'm about to blow it 0.99

00:15:36.460 off less bloating yeah a couple days later but Jacqueline I wonder 15 days no electrolytes 0.99

00:15:43.020 okay I have an announcement I submitted a request online to try one body sphere endo

00:15:49.500 it's not endoscopic what's the word endospheric lymphatic massage I want to try it and I have

00:15:55.460 what do you mean I and I have a lead you booked an appointment I have a lead on a buckle massage

00:16:00.960 woman all right Kate so this is an ad but it happens to be about something that I did start

00:16:12.380 taking so you know I track things now one of the things I track on my wearable is magnesium did I

00:16:18.320 take it it even asks did you take tart cherry it's one of the things you can track weirdly

00:16:22.000 well how convenient that something we're advertising and was sent to us as a powder

00:16:27.320 rituals magnesium plus okay this is about unwinding in the evening how a blend of magnesium bisglycinate

00:16:35.400 and tart cherry powder incredible for mind and muscle relaxation so it's tasty kate do you hear

00:16:42.220 me i love cherry and tart cherry does wonders for for relaxation and sleep i gotta say i am really

00:16:49.220 trying to embrace the whole evening wind down also i want to say that ritual selected a bioavailable

00:16:57.180 form of magnesium it's gentle on the stomach okay and it's clinically studied to support stress

00:17:03.740 and mind relaxation ease leg cramps support period cramping oh my god i'm sure that was

00:17:09.560 genuine that was a genuine oh my god which was that they're offering 40 off your first month

00:17:14.780 at ritual.com slash hags that was an oh my god a panic oh that's big you gotta stock up i'm really

00:17:22.680 curious to see how the hags work this into their evening tonics so sit back and raise a glass to

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00:17:46.200 wait wait wait but the endo whatever sorry sorry i'm all over the place where's that

00:17:55.360 hollywood no no beverly hills sweetheart is it the one with the body sock that i went to

00:18:00.560 no this is called body spheres oh wait it's the one with the like i said no i i dm'd them

00:18:07.400 you did i yes yes thank god i told you i said them let's see nothing like did you already um 0.98

00:18:15.220 you know drop a drop a cc in their system no fuck no body sphere magic body spheres oh right right 0.98

00:18:24.380 yeah yeah yeah oh i dm'd let's see they're on rodeo drive wait magic body spheres there there 0.99

00:18:30.940 it is oh what's that followed by claudia no you're kidding i'm not seeing a dm from me

00:18:38.420 we're desperate to come in desperate to come in i'm like actor kate berlant and my podcast co-host

00:18:46.820 oh my god dual emmy nominated wait tell the story tell the story tell the story

00:18:52.900 oh yeah okay okay i'll leave i'll leave magic body spheres on dot dot dot right now okay yeah

00:19:00.060 yeah so my god we won't even say that we're walking down the street okay protect privacy

00:19:05.380 of actors at all costs yeah i won't even tell you what city we're in okay yeah one of the big three

00:19:10.540 okay we're walking okay soaring on caffeine okay and uh i go oh my god okay and i don't know i wish

00:19:19.800 i wish you could see you know this is why one must film the self at all times and i can't exactly

00:19:24.140 place him but i'm like i know that that's an actor outdoor cafe situation or you know a couple

00:19:30.700 tables outside a restaurant let's just say but just a few tables so this is not a whole outside

00:19:34.540 there's two tables let's get real okay yeah coffee shop two tables outside yeah me continuing to

00:19:41.060 protect the identity all right yeah through obscuring of my wait wait wait there's something

00:19:45.040 wrapped around my oh my god there's something wrapped around my calf there's something wrapped

00:19:48.920 around my calf cutting off circulation what do you mean i would thought you thought you'd be there

00:19:52.280 for a medical emergency i am here just completely spaced out okay what's wrapped around your calf

00:19:56.680 an animal my emergency didn't didn't wake you this was wrapped around my calf and i didn't put it

00:20:02.960 there a headband like i didn't like try to move lymph with that or something you had to have

00:20:07.200 unconsciously been trying to move lymph okay no in the night i mean maybe in the night maybe i

00:20:14.300 wake up with two rubber beards. I can't get the rubber bands around my ears to stick. I tried

00:20:20.400 doubling it. It's not good. Come on, honestly. How little time do I have? I'm applying a fake

00:20:26.340 lash. That's when I'm supposed to do it. Most holiday gifts, they end up in the drawer or

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00:22:04.520 Wait, go back to the story. Go back to the story.

00:22:06.600 So we're walking. There's two tables outside of a cafe. One of those tables is occupied by a couple

00:22:12.840 facing me and Kate as we're barreling down the sidewalk. Clomp, clomp, clomp goes a couple of

00:22:18.340 girls, right? I go, my God. Okay. And I wonder if you had video. Did I say to Kate something like, 0.97

00:22:24.720 oh God, oh God. Did I say, oh God, I'm going to have to say something. Sorry. Right. There's

00:22:28.060 almost like I'm about to do something and like, like just I have to, I don't care. I don't know

00:22:33.020 if i said it aloud or just to myself and god but i go oh i'm saying something why to who no wiley 0.77

00:22:39.500 folks okay noah fucking wiley okay now of course i was a fan from er all right where he was the 0.95

00:22:47.240 young buck okay he comes he's learning his way around the place now what is he head of uh head 0.98

00:22:52.960 of the er okay head of emergency medicine at the pit aka star of the pit greatest medical drama

00:23:00.600 okay okay that which i have yet to watch but i'm hearing i'm hearing big things i'm i'm a i believe

00:23:06.840 i started my third viewing in the ludlow hotel wow um one night and so i just go but it's just

00:23:16.720 like there's just a whole there's his whole thing is just he's phenomenal there's so much

00:23:20.720 so i go i go and i think and i can't remember he wrote some episode he weren't i pretty sure

00:23:26.400 wrote one that was whoa amazing okay i go holy shit right point is this this guy his heart is 0.96

00:23:31.660 in this thing and he fucking rocks his performance oh what sorry sorry just two coyotes across the 0.98

00:23:37.860 street no two coyotes oh they're going down the hill they're gone it's unbelievable they're so 0.98

00:23:43.060 cute i know they're gone the clarity after the rain so i just go no no no no this is key everyone

00:23:49.120 needs to understand this principle okay okay if this is the us walking you get into the no no

00:23:56.700 because this is good i'll do it on clip or something it's really important okay and i

00:23:59.740 physically can be described later okay so if this is us if you're walking towards a celebrity

00:24:05.800 okay and you're in motion and they're seated aka trapped right yeah it's upon you to communicate

00:24:12.980 that you're not going to stand there where they're trapped and can't get away see what i'm saying

00:24:17.580 yeah so my belief is celebrities here okay okay let's just say let's say let's say celebrities 0.99

00:24:22.920 here we'll do a peace sign for celebrity okay okay and this is you you a pig a pig commoner 0.96

00:24:27.900 whatever okay yeah so it's it's boom boom boom boom boom you see them coming if you're gonna 1.00

00:24:32.020 say some shit okay i believe you have to walk past you walk past you banana out you banana out 0.99

00:24:37.700 you banana out and over the over the shoulder okay you need to over the shoulder you don't come 1.00

00:24:43.380 at them with it you okay you and but kate and passed and over so that they understand you're

00:24:49.600 in motion your head needs to be cranked so that they backwards so they understand she's not going

00:24:52.940 to stand there with her head cranked yeah now you might we've all done it gone totally my neck is

00:24:57.380 surprisingly strong okay in this situation to be able to keep talking to a while but it's very

00:25:03.120 important to the communication so wildly tap dancing you're walking backwards you're doing

00:25:06.700 whatever you need to do to show that you are still in motion and headed away yeah but so it's a blow

00:25:10.580 by it's a reason to drive by okay and so it's walking walking banana out turn and and just

00:25:16.240 again i just do like a hi sorry i just i love you know i love your work i mean i i'm on my

00:25:21.900 third viewing it's unbelievable thank you thank you okay and and i'm like you know just bowing

00:25:28.240 my head you know whatever doing this kind of yeah we're on the move we're on the move 0.80

00:25:32.520 kaperland folks okay known bitch okay is here she's saying that she thinks i did good okay 0.98

00:25:39.540 okay and so in a moment of absolute stunning friendship even even i would say you know 0.96

00:25:50.140 collegial uh generosity everything okay as i what does she do and this is a star in her own right

00:25:57.480 folks okay she she i could actually almost cry okay she she submitted to she she she humbled

00:26:06.280 herself is it why don't you say what you did no no no it's better no it's better for me okay oh 0.96

00:26:12.660 definitely so i'm going whatever i accept the vulnerability of this i accept that i'm trash

00:26:17.420 you know what i mean and i'm happy to be trash in this moment you know but i think you know okay

00:26:21.600 third viewing you know anyway yeah you're you're you're logging out okay berlant like a little like

00:26:28.280 crab in a tuxedo okay like a real like like chorus boy like you know featured player okay

00:26:34.600 going go it goes she's having a okay no wait wait she's having nominated okay she's having

00:26:40.220 nominated she's not some freak pointing to me in an even wider banana in a wider banana

00:26:45.820 arcing i'm orbiting your orbit yeah yeah yeah yeah it was like an ever if there was like a third

00:26:52.160 character rolling by okay they would have been an even wire okay and i felt lifted okay support i

00:27:00.300 didn't even need that see this i was like the prince in beauty and the beast and a thousand

00:27:05.340 other tales okay in a strange way it's a little different i wasn't cruel but oh no that's what

00:27:12.360 that's what it is it wasn't cruel versus kind okay here it was it was i humbled myself i'm

00:27:16.820 willing to look like i'm willing to look like nothing and sometimes that's when they reward you

00:27:21.400 and in this case in this in this case the gods of ego worked through kate yeah i mean nominated

00:27:29.260 okay i mean nominated folks okay no no no folks sorry we're not on stage okay okay i mean i mean

00:27:36.580 she's not some freak all right and then it allowed me to blow off and by the way i saw his face

00:27:43.620 change no oh wait i think you're right i couldn't even allow myself to believe it so i didn't

00:27:49.200 remember it because i go and he was with the woman we haven't done the research if that's his wife

00:27:53.260 or whatever but she's gorgeous i hope she is his wife i know if not he better look out but i saw

00:28:00.000 him because you go you go okay here's you know he's in a huge people are stopping him right he's

00:28:04.840 getting recognized on the regular yeah yeah you do a drive you do a drive by a big arc banana out

00:28:10.200 yeah okay banana out keep it moving i'm moving you're bananing out you're keeping it moving

00:28:16.600 but i throw in she's emmy nominated and i see him it's subtle but it's like and he kind of

00:28:23.100 doesn't nod. And he goes, thank you. You know, it's like, because also actors, honey, I'm an

00:28:29.340 actor. I know it. You never know who you're talking to. You know, you could be writing his

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00:29:58.500 Oh, by the way, this is like I treated myself to an out-of-pocket robe.

00:30:01.900 You may recall last year, forgot I bought it, came home, go, God, I'm good to myself.

00:30:06.160 Oh, my God, you're not going to believe it.

00:30:08.180 Go to the earth.

00:30:08.960 this is good news because cozy earth i want more i know okay by the way something huge is

00:30:25.200 happening in my home oh i'm getting i have a huge i have a huge this is this is fire alarm

00:30:30.400 this is high fire alarm i'm getting a king-sized bed she's getting a king-sized bed she's doing

00:30:35.600 i'm taking the plunge and i have a question which leads to our next bag the bag of the century is

00:30:40.920 coming okay okay okay here we go and i wonder if we can even tell i think the obscure details and

00:30:45.220 tell the the anecdote i was thinking about it okay we'll talk about that after point is

00:30:48.940 let's go from kate's king bed i've been living in a queen forever whatever i go it's time

00:30:53.600 point is no wiley you're on you're on you're on you're on watch okay i could be writing something

00:30:59.020 for you you're unreal absolutely anyway sorry all right take me back and the robe is not done we

00:31:05.140 have a lot to say about this robe because the robe reveals hysterical that was huge that's so

00:31:09.920 funny for our advertisers it's really funny so first of all i have emotionally i go okay it's

00:31:17.560 time to do the king bed and naomi and i were like okay you know what christmas present like

00:31:23.200 not necessarily in lieu of a christmas present but let's let's get a nice big bed you know we'll do

00:31:28.860 the bed thing and that'll be our present there had to be a narrative but yes okay so here's a

00:31:35.540 question for you so i've been casually over the last couple months looking for king bed frames

00:31:41.200 it's tough out there so the frame is what you've been fixated on well you know what mattress you're

00:31:46.180 getting so so here's the thing that's happened which is unbelievable luck a friend a dear friend

00:31:52.120 happened to post our close friend close friend stories i have a no no listen to this her and her

00:31:59.600 husband moved bought this mattress they bought the wrong they needed a california king they didn't

00:32:05.660 realize they bought a regular this is the miracle we have literally like they were like we slept on

00:32:11.120 it one night like you know it's an unused new mattress terrible news for you it'll always be

00:32:16.900 their bed the first night is when they're when because the the mattresses chemicals are so fresh

00:32:23.700 and they're off-gassing it's kind of like when you lay um rosemary on a steak and then you sweat it

00:32:29.260 and the sweat comes out and then it pulls the rosemary back into it the first night of a

00:32:32.220 mattress is the most dna is entered permanently in the mattress i'm sorry this is a huge joke

00:32:38.900 okay but i think it's hysterical i know i know it was a joke but but also the good news is if i if

00:32:44.460 i love them by the way i wouldn't take a bed i have to say something free bed let's just say

00:32:49.500 someone who i think is a dark person goes hey free bed i go i don't want it right yeah these

00:32:53.920 people i go i'll take like wonderful people because also in the bed i trust you opened a

00:32:59.680 dream world okay you're thinking if there's if there's a darkness there no they're brilliant

00:33:05.300 living in the bed they're yeah brilliant loving people i go great so so the point brilliant

00:33:10.620 loving people by the way not ordering a california king but they have a california king now i want to

00:33:15.780 talk about california king for a second because i got breaking news extra long but not as same wide

00:33:21.780 same width differently i'll tell you right now it's the same way other way it's longer i thought

00:33:27.000 it was wider it's longer because i have this image because don't you associate movies don't

00:33:31.980 you associate movies or is it the other way maybe it's the other way where there is celebrity or

00:33:36.820 riches like sort of you know 80s but like ridiculous beds maybe shaped in strange ways

00:33:45.160 I've always assumed like the California king is just this sort of like Cali celebrity 80s like 0.51

00:33:52.000 wealth indulgence like what if we went bigger it's very 80s right coke head yeah and I wonder

00:33:58.580 if people just thought it was sort of a non you know but is it wider or longer listeners will have 0.98

00:34:05.920 ass themselves i don't know it's whatever you i think it's whatever you least expect shit see but 0.95

00:34:12.300 don't you have trouble that when you remember that i know whatever you least expect then it 0.99

00:34:15.640 warms up the other side okay so so so here here's what's going on bed frames okay so just listen to

00:34:21.180 this listen to this bed frames this is crazy so i we were looking up oh i mean this is a fancy

00:34:27.180 brand right we go design within reach oh look at this bed frame oh it'll be on sale well classically

00:34:32.660 out of reach well classically out of that's so funny oh i mean i thought i've said this on every

00:34:40.080 episode five thousand dollars the joke is it's only in reach because it's not in a museum i

00:34:44.960 guess it's not in moma right right i mean you're not trying to buy the chair directly it's really

00:34:50.720 funny it's yeah yeah it's not it's not behind a private collection no i mean when you think that

00:34:58.120 what when you hear what that is and you think you're like remember like that was essentially

00:35:01.980 target's principle of the early 2000s it was like target was designed within reach yeah they were

00:35:08.340 but high design you know anyway anyway go on so so you look at it it's like ikea it's like the

00:35:13.900 heyday of ikea anyway so i go okay well that's not happening we're not doing a five thousand

00:35:18.960 slash six thousand dollar bed i mean this is this is absurd so here's the and here's the big

00:35:24.280 question this is kind of how i operate i'm going to protect the bed frame for my privacy but we

00:35:28.820 have the current bed frame it's my partner's bed frame that they brought to our home and it's a

00:35:34.480 queen-size bed and it's it's one of the big boys i say big boys meaning it's not protect your

00:35:39.700 privacy you're you're not gonna say the brand it's the weirdest thing i've ever heard i guess

00:35:45.040 i might as well i get it because it's not gonna reveal i'm gonna reveal you didn't make the

00:35:48.820 purchase you don't want to you don't want to see this i'm gonna reveal what the bed frame is should

00:35:53.220 should i should i reveal the bed frame tell naomi i questioned it

00:36:01.400 they said what are the stakes of revealing okay that someone could go after them and go

00:36:07.980 my privacy news breaking news on a lot of people have it okay listen it's a cb2 it's a cb2

00:36:16.360 bed frame that you know i don't mean to gatekeep it's a cb2 bed frame and i just say it's nice

00:36:23.760 design okay i think it's good and it has something not being said here and i'm trying to figure out

00:36:28.660 what it you're like there's pauses there's i'm not gonna gatekeep is there something fishy about

00:36:32.920 this you're right you're right yeah what's not being said is i'm just not giving the away the

00:36:37.200 name of it but i'll just do it but why this is so funny why don't i want to i don't know why

00:36:43.140 Because it doesn't feel like your purchase to give away.

00:36:45.340 It's revealing what Naomi chose once.

00:36:47.360 No, no.

00:36:47.680 It has nothing to do about Naomi, about that.

00:36:49.480 It's more like the sacredness of my bed.

00:36:53.760 That's hysterical.

00:36:55.500 I mean, the sacredness of your CB2.

00:36:58.720 The sacredness of my CB2.

00:37:00.720 Okay, here it is.

00:37:02.080 It's the Andes.

00:37:03.580 Okay.

00:37:04.400 A case, yeah.

00:37:05.160 Wood.

00:37:05.560 Of course it is.

00:37:06.540 Let's see.

00:37:06.880 Top form king.

00:37:07.780 It's like this.

00:37:09.220 And it's got two built-in nightstands.

00:37:12.140 stands oh yeah it has built-in night stands on either side which the bedroom is small so that's

00:37:16.860 really great for space although technically because you know get a king bed right the right 0.95

00:37:22.140 bedside table smash it up against the bed it doesn't look fucked up you know what i mean 0.76

00:37:26.000 i know but i but but a it's a separate purchase no just tell yourself what you need i just have 0.97

00:37:32.020 a tiny room i need to tell myself that i need to tell myself that's what i need because

00:37:35.400 no no it's good and it's also the floating shelf it's it's it's floor space too because it's

00:37:39.880 floating shelf it's no it's true it's kind of it's kind of dare i use this word chic okay and

00:37:45.740 then i was liberated because i saw a house and like what was it like like architectural digest

00:37:50.100 whatever and they had a bed yeah i go well that's what i'm saying it's just it's just good design

00:37:53.660 so i go let's stop searching for a king size bed and nightstands it's gonna rack up thousands of

00:38:01.060 dollars by the way it's not like this it's a cheap bed frame oh my god you're going i'm gonna get the

00:38:05.080 same you're gonna go and get the same same one in the king that's wild see that's that's really why

00:38:10.500 that's well that's hard for me because of the excitement of you know wanting the high of

00:38:15.040 novelty like of a new thing and also like no trade-in it just feels like you're you're like

00:38:20.100 trading in a car but you're not allowed to trade it in the question is this is a moment where

00:38:24.960 you know a friend friend who's below your station okay okay for a few years you go time for you to

00:38:32.060 upgrade from that cot to to my uh my queen acacia and then a few years from now when your bed is a

00:38:39.540 floating space pod yeah hey sweetie it's time to pass that on to another friend because i got a

00:38:45.640 king for you well listen i i wanted i think this is about certainty i think this is about ending

00:38:52.020 the decision paralysis you're letting yourself off the hook it is it is i just i want fine well

00:38:57.040 here's the thing i did search andy's acacia cb2 d diy because you know someone's making that with

00:39:01.960 live wood but but i hate i hate live wood but jacklyn no i know you do i i didn't mean live

00:39:07.880 wood i just threw an adjective in there okay i mean it's actually insane how much i hate live

00:39:13.140 wood no i i i know you do okay i can't go there right now okay okay i wanted listen to me and

00:39:23.320 this is a space question small bedroom because we we were initially going let's get a tall bed a

00:39:28.520 high bed this is low i typically go low well that's low is very california i think yeah i was

00:39:34.420 raised low high is east coast for poster and so i hate posts but i love but i went i go whoa what

00:39:43.540 if we got like a sleigh bed what if we had a foot at the bottom i can't believe you hate posts

00:39:47.840 hate posts i mean you can't even enjoy it in like some i can enjoy it in a hotel at the ludlow

00:39:53.860 that that's what i mean you you don't the there's no romance of the post for you

00:39:58.420 there's romance in the post by the way if i had a big i'm talking about a big luxurious bedroom

00:40:03.380 i would consider post wait so you hold on to it as you're getting railed screaming for mercy

00:40:09.860 oh the post no i don't think that's actually safe okay yeah yeah yeah i think wait 0.54

00:40:17.720 it's like the post bed they they have to say and they think please this is not safe for sex please

00:40:23.820 don't hold on to the post screaming for mercy no because you know what you know what the post

00:40:28.880 inherently you know what the post shared her screen chocolate has actively shared her screen

00:40:34.740 okay because everyone listeners you have to know oh great and great Naomi's just really

00:40:46.580 life like huge my teeth this whole recording so every video is unusable they won't see they won't 0.99

00:40:52.880 see no jacqueline has been talking about sharing her screen with me for recordings for two years

00:40:59.320 funny because it didn't feel like you'd ever heard okay you'd ever heard well i don't like

00:41:07.320 another but but can i have something huge to say about the pole there is such a comical

00:41:13.840 Thing between my teeth

00:41:15.860 No it's a piece of blueberry

00:41:18.460 Well doesn't that make it all better

00:41:20.600 Wait I'm dying

00:41:21.500 What do you say about the poster in the bed

00:41:23.240 Well wait

00:41:25.440 Okay look

00:41:26.000 The problem with the poster

00:41:28.000 Let me see if I can show you what I mean

00:41:31.140 Okay come back

00:41:32.380 I'm dying 1.00

00:41:32.860 Save my fucking dignity 1.00

00:41:37.060 Alright go back 1.00

00:41:38.120 It's gone

00:41:39.060 So I was dying laughing

00:41:40.860 because listener eavesdroppers need to know jacqueline novak has been talking about sharing

00:41:46.540 her screen with me for on recordings for years and i'll admit it i've never i never i haven't

00:41:52.340 been biting because i'm like okay but it's a podcast so they're listening so sure in a video

00:41:58.280 listeners know what i'm about to say really eavesdroppers know what i'm about to say when

00:42:01.320 kate goes it's an audio medium what steve martin did visual bits on the greatest

00:42:07.040 but jacqueline has shared jacqueline has shared her screen this is by the way i feel so my heart

00:42:16.380 is i when people say may my heart swell this is the feeling my heart is swelling in my chest

00:42:21.960 because i feel so safe i feel so comforted that we're going to the purchase together

00:42:26.020 okay because what have i pulled up did you say it i pulled up the acacia bed the acacia bed the

00:42:32.640 king acacia so you see what i'm saying about the side tables how yes no i remember this from

00:42:36.940 your home what you're saying that there's a sadness for a big purchase like that and it's

00:42:42.180 just the same bed kerplunk it lands it's the same but it's slightly well just an opportunity for a

00:42:46.880 dopamine you know but also also the agony of decisions the agony decisions and i gotta say it 0.96

00:42:53.100 the cost of these fucking beds okay here's what i have you do jacklyn wait we're going to tb2 beds 0.98

00:42:58.840 i know exactly wait there's another one that we were considering sweetie i have news what i don't 1.00

00:43:04.560 see california king no honey i don't want california king oh right right okay okay hold on

00:43:12.120 there top left top left wait i just saw i'm panicking because i can't see because i'm

00:43:16.760 blinded by knowing you're here okay this is a weirdest sensation i've never felt this on the

00:43:21.020 internet okay i'm like i'm like lower left where but you just had it wait silence oh no oh my god

00:43:27.540 now we're on couches i'm a king okay i am a king of this view all quiet okay something's amiss

00:43:35.340 something something's seriously wrong here oh they're they're okay the pant like i've never

00:43:40.000 not navigated a menu quicker this is crazy okay all right here we go all right silence don't tell

00:43:45.120 me which one you're considering okay you want to guess yeah i see it i see it well what the montero

00:43:54.220 i can't see the sign yes montero go click montero there's only two acceptable beds for

00:44:01.040 me on this website whoa with that curve that no that's wrong that's wrong that's wrong that's not 0.98

00:44:06.840 it sorry that's wrong jesus christ oh wait that's davidson not montero what the fuck just happened 0.71

00:44:11.300 this is crazy weird things are happening there i'm the one who even spotted the montero yeah no 0.93

00:44:16.540 no okay okay so go king montero yeah this is like the same bed but not and i get it it's different

00:44:23.500 and but no but i have to buy side tables for anyone for anyone who's not pulling it up okay

00:44:28.900 okay i just want to oh look at this 3d viewing wait i just want to say one thing about about

00:44:35.180 the pole real quick it's not montero it's not montero okay one thing about the pole i was

00:44:39.640 trying to say the reason that i imagine there are people out there okay trying to make like

00:44:44.480 who unsafely sexualize the pole right is because when you see or a poster when you see a pole like

00:44:52.920 this okay there's something in us from culture when you can grab a pole like this you inherently

00:44:59.820 okay you inherently okay you go to this place okay yeah yeah you go to you run all fours and

00:45:07.740 you're writing no but but this is very specific body roll up yeah this is like a thing and they

00:45:13.740 have like eight-year-old girls now doing it in dance class but it's like it's like that slapping

00:45:18.120 all right hold on let me get let me get to now do you like i shouldn't have tried to do a

00:45:24.320 demonstration while the montero was on the screen okay okay but hold on do you like that you're not

00:45:29.880 searching i am that i'm navigating the screen for you yeah oh look whoa you're in space you're

00:45:37.320 dreaming by the way months by the way montero a huge a huge benefit of the montero is there's a

00:45:42.080 drawer huge question okay is it really do we want to sleep on on on our own storage god you're you're

00:45:51.440 so smart i love you okay listen because guess what i do have a sliding wood drawer under there

00:45:56.200 well you go what are you keeping down there or who sheets okay yeah the only tolerable and even

00:46:03.660 then there's something energetically it feels like that and i think you're right i think you're right

00:46:09.120 I know that I don't want that bed I'm free well I have something else to say yeah so I saw like

00:46:14.200 I was watching some design video like some 80 like and and this guy was like you know small

00:46:20.220 spaces people go oh well you need space efficient furniture in a small space he goes actually oh

00:46:25.960 no you don't need great go for a big loud wait this is big for this room piece like you can't

00:46:31.820 have three of those in a small no this is a known thing it looks bigger you can do a big so then I

00:46:36.820 go well yeah then maybe yeah do i get a king i'm not gonna get a four poster but do we get a king 0.75

00:46:43.280 fucking sleigh bed like whoa and it's just it's literally the bedroom it's the room for the bed 0.87

00:46:50.180 well archivists archivists and eavesdroppers know i introduced this philosophy dare i say two years 0.99

00:46:59.220 ago on this podcast okay okay we should almost find it really but you're staring off you can't

00:47:05.760 You can't have this conversation with Naomi while we're podcasting is what I'm saying.

00:47:09.700 I'm having it with you.

00:47:10.500 Okay.

00:47:10.660 You're with, you're more with Naomi right now, but you're having the conversation.

00:47:13.600 Should we, okay.

00:47:14.680 You're looking at Naomi. 0.80

00:47:16.120 Tell Naomi.

00:47:16.720 Okay.

00:47:16.960 You're right.

00:47:17.280 You're right.

00:47:17.780 I was looking at that.

00:47:18.060 They got to go.

00:47:18.980 Okay.

00:47:19.680 Okay.

00:47:20.140 Okay.

00:47:20.420 It's, you're doing both of us at once.

00:47:21.860 You introduced it.

00:47:22.920 You introduced it two years ago.

00:47:24.300 I don't recall.

00:47:25.380 What'd you say?

00:47:26.080 Why would you?

00:47:26.400 You know why?

00:47:26.940 You know why you don't recall? 0.99

00:47:27.820 Cause you weren't looking for a fucking bed at the time. 0.99

00:47:29.680 That's true. 1.00

00:47:29.960 Now I need it. 0.99

00:47:30.300 You didn't give a shit. 0.99

00:47:31.600 and now you're alive now you're firing okay i go tiny bedroom right yeah i go i'm getting a king 0.99

00:47:39.240 because what what do i need a big aisle a big sidewalk a big wide columbus avenue sidewalk

00:47:46.500 okay totally to the to the side of each each bed i go no nothing's happening over there except for

00:47:52.140 walk and sit down on the bed i stick two side tables in okay two two two two bedside tables

00:47:59.040 they're not even crammed i mean there's enough room for them there yeah walk in the room get on

00:48:04.740 the bed yeah yeah guess what i'm in a master bedroom right now but what do you mean it's huge 0.91

00:48:09.660 that's why it's a gym now i know it's filled with shit right now okay but you'll see there's the

00:48:14.160 air bike i mean it's i'm really listeners vote in i want the listeners to vote in do i get the bed 0.97

00:48:20.420 reading like reading in an armchair in the corner of your bedroom is strange such a such a joke it

00:48:26.760 is strange that's gotta go it is strange if you have so listen what is that if you're one of these 0.92

00:48:31.680 people that has a fucking gigantic room where you go and then we have a throw it there i fantasize 0.70

00:48:37.200 i hey i have fantasies yeah put it there for visual fantasies of a big bedroom and i have a 0.99

00:48:41.740 little couch i have a love seat in there i have a coffee table in the bedroom like oh to me that's

00:48:47.440 divine but who lives like this well also even if you do i don't think i'm not saying it never 0.96

00:48:54.420 happened i guess that's where you go regular bedroom yeah damn really you think you think 0.82

00:49:00.220 even that's enough for a sofa in a bedroom i guess it depends how you spend your money yeah i guess

00:49:05.420 but but there's something it's almost like um it only works if like you roll out of bed you go in

00:49:10.000 that chair to meditate so you've barely woken up you know sure you know but i still think maybe you

00:49:17.480 sit on it to pull some pull your heels on but it's a little strange and a little hotel like

00:49:23.360 when you clearly must have other rooms if you've got the space for it.

00:49:26.460 Yeah, I think you're right.

00:49:27.700 It is sterile and strange.

00:49:28.820 It's when it's in the corner facing the bed. 0.99

00:49:31.240 It's the masturbators. 1.00

00:49:33.920 It's the orgy. 1.00

00:49:35.920 That's the guest seat. 0.99

00:49:37.080 Yeah, exactly. 0.99

00:49:38.580 Inviting over the masturbator to your family party. 0.99

00:49:43.500 Exactly. 0.99

00:49:44.380 You know exactly what I mean.

00:49:46.180 Of course I do.

00:49:47.280 That's me in the chair.

00:49:49.180 That's my chair.

00:49:50.100 oh wait someone sent me the cutest thing you'll die okay and i probably whatever i forget what

00:49:59.820 app it was but someone being like i'm looking for my jacqueline like i'm looking for my jacqueline

00:50:05.040 novak to my caperland oh my god on a dating app isn't that sweet oh my god no i just realized

00:50:12.520 we have to do major valentines this valentine's day in what sense galentines oh yeah oh yeah

00:50:21.720 by the way is that not everything you and me are opposed to right i know i know no to be clear

00:50:30.220 it's just wait same spirit different way in i actually want to break down with you

00:50:35.320 sure do was i because i texted you but you didn't react on text it was yesterday i probably did

00:50:41.280 privately a woman who a woman said to me you're married like that yeah she goes you're married 0.99

00:50:48.240 and i go i'm not married and she goes i'm not married and then she points another woman goes

00:50:53.720 she's never been married either it's interesting wait it's hysterical yeah i didn't get all that

00:51:00.160 other detail i know yeah i remember it's so funny i remember you telling that to me in person but

00:51:04.940 you're right it was in text i really animate you yeah yeah you're married look at the violent look

00:51:09.660 at the violin um i'm doing i'm doing classic you know face gym skin gym gua sha i've fallen so far

00:51:16.840 off gua sha it's a joke the thing is gua sha to me it's like this now like the whole thing's a joke

00:51:24.860 it feels good and here's the thing i'm back to the face reminds me yeah i gotta tell you what

00:51:30.320 stimulated my headache so i got served this thing last night yeah and i clicked through thinking

00:51:37.180 there was going to be a course I would consider paying for and then probably not get served it

00:51:41.660 again when I become a warmer lead. Maybe that time I go for it. Anyway, I was going to send

00:51:46.560 it through to you. It's this guy, former chiropractor, which you know, I love a defector,

00:51:51.220 right? Of course. Former chiropractor. He's like, I left chiropractory. Okay. Wait, something's

00:51:58.880 happening. Why is my whoop buzzing? Oh, I must have, it had like a late, I've gotten my whoop.

00:52:04.480 It's not charged.

00:52:05.260 No, no.

00:52:05.680 I got my whoop on this like schedule that like wakes me after my like sleep time, blah, blah,

00:52:10.420 blah.

00:52:11.200 Oh, wait.

00:52:11.500 I think I got it.

00:52:12.000 By the way, there'd be a lot to say about this.

00:52:13.380 And sweetie, I have something exciting to show you.

00:52:15.540 Very exciting to show you that the listener will have to.

00:52:18.220 I see you tapping.

00:52:19.060 Your thumb is, your hand is in the thing you're scrolling.

00:52:22.380 You're looking too.

00:52:23.860 I'm not scrolling, but you're looking too.

00:52:26.180 At what?

00:52:26.980 Your phone?

00:52:27.680 No, I'm not.

00:52:28.200 I was tapping my whoop for you.

00:52:29.560 Okay.

00:52:30.560 I have a lot to say about the hag team whoop that exists.

00:52:33.780 because i'm the only member right now yeah yeah and there's a code mentioned it no i'm saying they

00:52:39.540 haven't shown up meanwhile they're like i've been out so i've been out 30 people i saw red carpet i

00:52:45.680 saw i have to pull this up for you because here we go jenna lyons you're familiar tell me wearing

00:52:51.220 a whoop on the red carpet literally even a step beyond that sitting at uh victoria's secret fashion 0.86

00:52:58.140 show front row no no i look i go i go huh look at this fucking look at this tell me that's not 0.96

00:53:04.560 the apollo tell me that's not the apollo wait wait send it to me on oh wait send it to me on 0.99

00:53:10.400 send it to me on on text so i can see it's not pixelated that also looks like sorry the apollo

00:53:14.360 and we'll get to that in a second different than whoop because who was double fisting the other

00:53:18.040 night who was double fisting right now you were at dinner with two devices dinner okay sending it

00:53:23.540 Two. Yeah. I need you to react on air. It could be a different device. Really? It's a little hard

00:53:30.080 to tell in that photo. Someone's identified it. But here's what I'm going to say. People don't

00:53:34.360 even know we're fucking talking about because we have not introduced this concept yet. Okay. I mean, 0.97

00:53:37.660 I did maybe years ago. I begged for it. It came. I accidentally opened two boxes. They sent two to

00:53:43.620 me. This is the danger of if you send for me and Kate to one of the households, right? Yeah. So

00:53:49.160 about several years ago, we begged. I begged for the Apollo Neuro. Why? Because who hasn't been 0.73

00:53:58.100 served a lot of shit about Vegas? Vagal, right? We begged. What does it do? It vibrates. Here it 1.00

00:54:04.620 is. Okay. So I pull out of a loose pocket. Kate and I are having a coffee moments before running

00:54:12.800 into Noah Wiley. I pull it loose out of a pocket, a little piece of tech. Okay. I go, Kate, I'm

00:54:19.200 really sorry. I don't have the box, but this is yours. Okay. And I go, it's all, I go, I go. And

00:54:25.020 I pull out the, the, the actual device head with a, yeah, the head and the device, which has a

00:54:30.760 clip on it, which is, you know, the standard way to wear it in most situations where you want it

00:54:34.460 up on, on, on the chest, on the, whatever. Okay. On a bone, on a collarbone, whatever. I'm really

00:54:40.280 sorry, I don't box, but this is the Apollo neuro. I go, it's charged. Download the app.

00:54:44.100 And then I start selling her on why she doesn't need the strap because I can't find it. Right?

00:54:49.700 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's a little fixated on the strap because

00:54:53.160 in its absence, she can't help but wonder if it's what she really wants.

00:54:57.380 Although I have to be honest, now I go, I'm probably not a strap girl.

00:55:00.620 I knew that. And I knew that about you. Okay. You're, you're more of a bra strap girl.

00:55:05.880 But wrinkle strap maybe for sleeping. 1.00

00:55:07.260 Yes. So here's my strap. Okay.

00:55:10.280 and and by the way i give this to kate what happens at dinner that night and i have video

00:55:16.940 okay out comes her ankle what is snapped to her what is what is clipped to her sock her dainty

00:55:21.740 sock the apollo neuro she's gone live with it okay so the apollo or vagal stimulates you it

00:55:26.840 repetitive okay you can look it up we'll talk about later sweetie i got news for you

00:55:34.220 you found the strap yay clean unworn okay i'm ready to go i'll help you strap it up charger too

00:55:44.420 well well there is no charger it's just i mean it's a micro it's a micro usb i'll give you a

00:55:50.420 cord if you want one you probably have one lying around no i'm sure i have one i'm sure i have one

00:55:53.480 so we've got a strap for you we both were wearing them i had it in my purse because i thought it was

00:55:58.520 too crass for dinner okay and then i pulled mine out we were both getting buzzed and we had it on

00:56:04.620 the social setting because there's different settings yeah and look at me right now i'm

00:56:07.920 double fisting again and then at dinner jacqueline had her whoop and her neuro her apollo everyone is

00:56:14.140 losing their mind oh no oh no no okay so first of all before i found the strap all right this is 0.99

00:56:21.220 this is next level shit that's just about to happen for for the podcast this is like 0.99

00:56:25.380 johnny knoxville saying like hit me with her bullets all that matters is the footage right 0.98

00:56:30.000 okay so i just want to say to you before i found the strap i went online going i'm gonna buy kate

00:56:36.360 i'll buy her two straps to make up for this and they're like 19 bucks a piece right meaning they're

00:56:41.020 cheap you bought them no but i'm going to have to would you like to know why i just dropped the

00:56:46.400 strap in my coffee okay i just looked down you're kidding i just looked down would you like to know

00:56:53.640 what I see? Do we have it on? So you were like this and you just dropped it straight into the

00:56:58.100 coffee. Okay. Oh no, Jacqueline. Well, I'm glad they're cheap. You could hear it. You heard that,

00:57:18.840 And just, yeah, you just celebrated the strap and you dropped it straight into your mocha.

00:57:25.560 Talk about, guess what's in my mug?

00:57:27.620 Your strap.

00:57:29.540 Also cocoa.

00:57:30.740 Oh my God.

00:57:31.420 That's hilarious.

00:57:32.320 What this means is you get to choose your color.

00:57:34.260 But by the way, Apollo Neuro, Kate and I, there we go.

00:57:36.360 Let's try Joy.

00:57:36.900 I want a membership.

00:57:37.800 We go, let's try Joy.

00:57:38.660 I want a membership.

00:57:38.980 Right?

00:57:39.440 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:57:40.620 Okay, okay.

00:57:42.080 And we go, no, it's locked.

00:57:43.800 Can't do it.

00:57:44.360 It's locked. 0.98

00:57:44.940 Joy is locked behind the membership wall.

00:57:46.400 Did they give us a membership?

00:57:48.240 it's possible we had a month or something when we i think a month probably comes with a device

00:57:53.180 let me see if i reached out oh by the way we're desperate to come in kaperlant and i we discussed

00:57:58.420 on our pod podcast me to magic spheres yeah okay yeah and then i'm gonna go for this sort of

00:58:04.480 partnership thing partnership question mark okay i'm gonna say poog podcast at we are bv.com yeah

00:58:15.400 that's where you go for partnerships folks backyard adventures you can always remember

00:58:18.320 we are bv like we are the face of bb okay oh no i have a meeting in five minutes that i pushed

00:58:26.280 from 15 i have to leave anyway honey i know you do but i just want to maybe next product corner 0.99

00:58:30.260 we'll talk about this she's gonna be uninterested until i tell her exactly what the fuck it is you 0.98

00:58:34.900 ready for this folks watch kate run it fucking get excited this is my on the go carabiner held 0.99

00:58:41.540 okay atmo tube pro what does it do tells you the air quality wherever you are 0.96

00:58:50.420 oh i want that i know mommy wants that i know you do we're gonna become atmo girls by the way so

00:58:57.600 so what so you can be just like hover it suspended absolutely i was like staring at like paint

00:59:02.440 curling in my corner going like you know is the how is the apartment complex killing me like is

00:59:08.960 that like water damage and like and then like i raised this up there to the corner to see if like

00:59:12.680 like bad air is coming from it anyway it's just like you know it was obviously

00:59:16.800 tech like this thrills me just this next to this you know so there's a lot to discuss anyway and

00:59:24.020 then and then newsflash this is gonna be big for me look what kind of topping what does it say

00:59:29.860 it's from the immy people okay who do like this they did this like ramen they came out with this

00:59:35.380 ramen that's like vegan and not full of like not a total sodium bomb whatever i bought that once i

00:59:41.260 bought that once yeah and then this is just the toppings and so i've just been for quickie or

00:59:45.740 they sent it no but i already reached out saying we want to be emmy ambassadors okay these toppings

00:59:51.260 i've been throwing it in a mug hot keurig water right on top of it okay stir it up add a little

00:59:57.080 bouillon a little yeah a little um soup fabulous whatever anyways love you emergency style okay

01:00:02.860 I love you.

01:00:03.220 Bye.

01:00:04.900 Amazing app.

01:00:32.860 You

Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - November 11, 2025

A Moving Banana

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