Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - Grecian Marble Wet T-Shirt Contest

00:00:00.000 Give yourself the luxury you deserve with Quince. Go to Quince.com slash hags for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. 365 day returns, folks. Damn. That's Quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash hags to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash hags.

00:00:20.180 two best friends both alike in dignity nurturing phantoms and courting the muse 0.74

00:00:27.760 the hag divines when something must die yes that was poog but this is huge the ego loves

00:00:33.780 to seek but never to find it was berlant and novak the whole time

00:00:38.460 here we go hello okay hi

00:00:43.220 oh my god good to see you look gorgeous how shiny am i

00:00:50.180 shinier than usual sure but i like shine like i didn't check my shine you're glowy

00:00:57.000 because you know what it is i don't have oily skin so i never think i'm going to be perceived

00:01:01.340 that way right but of course you could be shiny i'm true combo my guys had a huge memory of girl

00:01:08.160 scouts we were like fucking 12 and they did some kind of you know almost like pubert is here 0.52

00:01:13.720 assembly or like something we're at there were other troops there other strange troops someone's 0.93

00:01:19.780 doing a presentation about almost like skincare types that are going to be coming into play

00:01:23.460 at your puberty they had us ask these questions like a test to see what kind of skin you had

00:01:27.800 right and basically like one girl sort of answered the questions in such a way that it was like and

00:01:33.980 who has oily skin you know i mean it was like and it was so you know it was one of those things

00:01:40.180 where you're like well she answered honestly right and everyone else was like was like dry

00:01:48.160 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:01:48.960 Like normal slash.

00:01:51.500 I'm oily.

00:01:52.640 Do you think one is more stigmatized than the other?

00:01:54.680 Oily. 1.00

00:01:55.540 Because dry is like you're a paper woman. 0.99

00:01:58.080 Well, dry is like, because what you dry is like, oh, I need to put lotion on. 0.97

00:02:02.260 Oily is like you hit the wall and you slide down.

00:02:05.800 Like, I don't know.

00:02:06.740 You remember this ever?

00:02:07.880 So greased up with either lotion, I guess lotion on the legs.

00:02:11.420 Running.

00:02:11.880 And you slide down the hood of a car. 1.00

00:02:14.320 Should I sit on the hood of a car like a teenage girl? 0.86

00:02:17.260 It actually is pretty cool. 0.99

00:02:20.420 You're greased up legs.

00:02:21.880 I'm having memories I actually can't get into.

00:02:23.420 Really?

00:02:24.000 What, sliding?

00:02:25.280 Sliding.

00:02:25.760 Memory came out.

00:02:26.360 Sliding.

00:02:26.860 Okay, well, I'm going to note it.

00:02:28.080 Will you remember later?

00:02:28.580 But I want to talk about my, it's not for air.

00:02:30.640 That's going to be deep bonus.

00:02:31.300 I bet there's a way.

00:02:31.900 You got to pay big dollars to hear that story.

00:02:34.800 Wait, I'm oily because A.

00:02:36.880 Yeah, this is huge, by the way.

00:02:37.780 We're not oily, but the shine.

00:02:38.380 I'm loving discussing this.

00:02:39.460 I'm on probably my fourth bottle of Ilea skin serum.

00:02:41.920 Wait, hold on, hold on.

00:02:42.800 I'm soaring.

00:02:43.640 I just need to say I'm soaring.

00:02:44.780 Okay, I already had a Celsius.

00:02:46.460 Jacqueline arrived, saw her pound of Celsius,

00:02:48.980 and then now we're drinking nice coffee.

00:02:51.020 Now we're doing coffee.

00:02:51.640 And I just want to say, because you've got to appreciate,

00:02:54.480 I am, like, the excitement right now,

00:02:55.980 I have to talk about skincare.

00:02:58.080 You're excited to talk about it.

00:02:59.000 Okay, okay, okay.

00:02:59.440 I'm so excited.

00:02:59.800 Give me more, give me more.

00:03:00.580 I just stopped.

00:03:01.160 I just stopped to make you continue.

00:03:02.480 So I got Dermaplane.

00:03:04.600 Yeah, you've been, you've been,

00:03:05.920 you know, once again, you're six treatments ahead of me.

00:03:08.700 I did Dermaplane with Hydrafacial.

00:03:10.700 Right.

00:03:11.660 But, so Dermaplane, for those who don't know,

00:03:13.800 they, it's like a razor.

00:03:15.480 It is a razor.

00:03:16.180 It's not like a razor.

00:03:17.160 It's a razor.

00:03:18.160 And they basically, like in the barber chair, they shave your whole face.

00:03:21.640 It's like this exfoliation.

00:03:22.660 Which is just how I thought.

00:03:23.580 Yeah, go on.

00:03:24.660 No, like you're like, it's not like a razor.

00:03:26.180 It is a razor.

00:03:26.800 And then I was like, it's not a simile.

00:03:28.420 It's a metaphor.

00:03:29.180 And then you're like, no, it's not a metaphor.

00:03:30.760 I mean, it's a razor.

00:03:32.020 Yeah, yeah.

00:03:32.420 It is a razor.

00:03:33.880 And by the way, the trust.

00:03:35.360 I really trust my esthetician.

00:03:37.980 Same one you've had for a time?

00:03:39.100 Yeah, Becca.

00:03:39.980 But you're in the chair and I'm like, I actually had, I just can't help it.

00:03:43.640 It's like an OCD thing.

00:03:44.320 I, of course, imagined her slitting my ear to ear. 1.00

00:03:46.800 She didn't do that. 0.58

00:03:48.160 So, but she's going.

00:03:49.560 The barber of Fleet Street.

00:03:50.740 Tip back and down below.

00:03:52.720 I once met with my friend.

00:03:53.740 He was getting his hair cut at a barber in New York City.

00:03:56.180 And I went with him.

00:03:57.460 And I asked if I could get a hot towel.

00:03:58.880 They put me in the chair next to him.

00:03:59.900 And I got a hot towel as he got a shave.

00:04:02.220 That's New York.

00:04:02.980 Okay, so the guys loved it.

00:04:05.240 They couldn't believe I wanted to do it.

00:04:06.480 Oh, they loved it.

00:04:09.680 And they loved it.

00:04:11.500 Okay, so.

00:04:11.980 The girl excited.

00:04:12.680 I know.

00:04:13.000 Will you put me in the chair?

00:04:13.940 Can I get a hot towel?

00:04:14.940 Or they make a little circle around your face?

00:04:16.960 So it's exfoliation, right?

00:04:20.320 And it's supposed to just smoothness,

00:04:22.600 makeup's supposed to sip on your face better, whatever.

00:04:24.760 This is a level of upper lip shave down.

00:04:27.480 She showed me the hair after and I actually felt lost

00:04:29.460 because it was baby.

00:04:30.180 It's like the wisps, the fine wisp of...

00:04:32.580 And the hair that was on my face...

00:04:34.420 It wasn't something hideous and other that you're like,

00:04:36.760 that was on me, I want it off.

00:04:37.740 You're like, that's me.

00:04:38.460 I actually felt sort of emotional.

00:04:39.640 Like, I want it back.

00:04:40.840 Because it was like the lightest peach fuzz.

00:04:43.200 It's peach fuzz.

00:04:43.780 That's what they always say.

00:04:44.500 And by the way, it was hazel.

00:04:46.300 It was the color.

00:04:47.480 I was like, that was on my body.

00:04:48.960 It was like hazel.

00:04:49.820 It was so light.

00:04:51.000 And I was like, I was a baby once.

00:04:52.740 It felt very, but then it's gone.

00:04:55.580 And then, of course, woke up at 3 a.m.

00:04:57.700 Well, I get melasma now because the light peach fuzz protects the skin.

00:05:05.020 From the sun?

00:05:05.520 Yeah.

00:05:05.800 And then, do you think I have a light mustache of skin that looks more pale than the rest of my face?

00:05:11.240 Be honest.

00:05:12.040 Genius, but no.

00:05:13.180 So right now, so I have all my peach fuzz.

00:05:16.320 Yeah.

00:05:16.680 What do you see?

00:05:17.620 Nothing.

00:05:18.300 See, like, you know how, you know this thing.

00:05:19.820 That's why I go, it's been there my whole life.

00:05:21.520 I didn't care.

00:05:22.880 Okay.

00:05:24.320 And so, and so there's kind of nothing to say.

00:05:26.380 No, no, no, this is interesting.

00:05:27.200 No, no, there's a lot to say.

00:05:28.420 Are you kidding, Kate Ballant?

00:05:29.480 I know.

00:05:30.320 Who do you think you're dealing with?

00:05:34.040 I want to explore this.

00:05:35.100 Now, let me think about this for a second.

00:05:36.260 So one thing is it has to be a wildly different.

00:05:41.520 No, nothing, nothing.

00:05:42.240 Okay.

00:05:42.700 Because you might fear that I'm needing reassurance.

00:05:44.600 I didn't make, I get this way.

00:05:45.480 I see nothing.

00:05:46.060 I connected before I got micro-nibling.

00:05:48.860 Okay, it looks very smooth.

00:05:49.340 So I got scared that my protective fuzz,

00:05:52.120 I guess it just grows back.

00:05:53.660 Well, yeah.

00:05:54.780 Or you think the damage that'll happen in one month,

00:05:56.900 you know, will ruin you?

00:05:57.880 You wear SPF anyway.

00:05:59.020 You know what I remembered?

00:05:59.740 Something that you said that's helped me.

00:06:01.240 Actually, I've brought it up to myself probably,

00:06:04.260 I would say between 260 to 200 times.

00:06:06.280 The human body can manage all manner of insults and injuries.

00:06:09.480 Yes, exactly.

00:06:10.640 Do I not know you?

00:06:11.460 I've thought about it all the time.

00:06:12.700 And I thought about it even today.

00:06:14.000 It was Dr. Greger who said it, by the way.

00:06:15.500 Unbelievable.

00:06:16.180 Nutritionfacts.org.

00:06:17.020 Because I did the dermaplane, I was like, oh, because your face feels very kind of babyish

00:06:22.520 and clean.

00:06:23.620 And then last night I put makeup on.

00:06:25.920 Dirty brushes.

00:06:27.080 Blush. 1.00

00:06:27.600 Dirty blushes. 1.00

00:06:28.640 Bronzer. 1.00

00:06:29.380 Yeah.

00:06:29.820 And then I went out.

00:06:32.560 No problems.

00:06:33.120 Came back.

00:06:33.860 Zit on the cheek from the dirty brushes.

00:06:36.520 I start spiraling.

00:06:37.240 Dirty brushes.

00:06:37.820 Dirty brushes.

00:06:38.540 Seems unlikely, right?

00:06:39.660 Yeah, I think that's unlikely.

00:06:40.720 You see that, right?

00:06:41.640 What?

00:06:42.000 That dot?

00:06:42.440 Yeah, that dot.

00:06:43.480 That dot.

00:06:44.140 That dot.

00:06:45.420 But dirty brushes, how often are we cleaning our brushes?

00:06:48.840 McCona-hey-hey.

00:06:51.200 Is that a McCona-hey thing?

00:06:52.660 No, just, what did you say?

00:06:54.140 The dirty brush.

00:06:54.880 Dirty brush. 0.91

00:06:55.740 Yeah, yeah.

00:06:58.680 But yeah, the dirty brushes, how often are we supposed to clean them?

00:07:01.140 I had a major viewing of Interstellar, by the way, like weeks back.

00:07:04.600 No, in my home.

00:07:05.720 Yeah, I'm still just like you watching Interstellar without me.

00:07:07.700 You just, you popped it in and started to finish.

00:07:09.520 Chris popped it in and then it was on.

00:07:10.600 Started to finish?

00:07:11.080 No, we had to stop and finish the next night.

00:07:15.000 You know, I'm getting a little teary-eyed about how good it was.

00:07:18.300 By the way, genius, also comedic role of a lifetime, Matt Damon.

00:07:23.380 Do you remember?

00:07:24.120 Oh, my God, of course.

00:07:26.780 I could almost forget him.

00:07:29.980 No, yeah, yeah, because he's in it up.

00:07:31.740 Genius, dark comedy.

00:07:34.240 Force majeure-esque.

00:07:35.320 Yeah, yeah, totally.

00:07:35.900 But anyway, take me back, take me back.

00:07:37.040 Where were we?

00:07:37.460 I'm sorry.

00:07:37.600 Okay, wait, wait.

00:07:38.120 No, Dermot Plane, Dermot Plane.

00:07:39.340 No, but you were moving out of Dermot Plane.

00:07:40.580 i have brushes okay wait different way i'm not done i never responded yeah germplane all right

00:07:44.420 so here's what i have to say looks really smooth the whole thing right this is one of these changes

00:07:48.340 though that you're panicking again okay yeah you said change and i go there's no change i see no

00:07:52.300 change after a haircut i need someone to tell me you look the same which is antithetical to why

00:07:57.020 would you get a haircut it's almost like i it's kind of a thing i need to see my mother and i need

00:08:01.420 her to go really if i'm getting a haircut she and she's like i feel like she's told me like

00:08:07.320 don't like oh just a little trim or something like obviously i'm not gonna hack off my hair i

00:08:12.680 would i wouldn't even know how to do that i wonder what your mother's nightmare is okay

00:08:16.420 me with short hair is it is it this is it what's your mother's the fear that of what you would do

00:08:22.140 you would come home with hair wise i don't know don't do it well because she said something ever

00:08:26.480 been like was there a cut she didn't like so actually you know what i'm realizing no there

00:08:31.240 was a cut i had a traumatic cut as a child where there was a girl in my school named marlo

00:08:37.300 Can you imagine that?

00:08:38.380 Wow.

00:08:38.700 That name?

00:08:39.340 In Hollywood?

00:08:40.320 Marlo. 1.00

00:08:40.880 She had short hair. 1.00

00:08:42.220 She had straight hair, but she had short hair.

00:08:44.580 And I was sort of fixated on her.

00:08:46.540 And can I have that with the cut?

00:08:48.460 And so I was like, oh, short haircut, whatever.

00:08:50.600 I get a haircut. 1.00

00:08:51.700 This fucking woman butchers me. 1.00

00:08:53.680 I'm not talking about hair. 1.00

00:08:55.000 I'm talking about like boy hair.

00:08:57.400 Did you know you had curly hair?

00:08:58.620 I don't know how it happened.

00:08:59.320 And I say that because like if you, I guess, walked in drenched.

00:09:01.740 I don't mean that that should be enough.

00:09:04.180 I still don't know how it happens. 0.91

00:09:05.020 She wet it down and cut it like.

00:09:06.740 Your hair was straight.

00:09:07.820 I was probably six years old, seven years old, max eight.

00:09:11.220 Fine, maybe it was nine.

00:09:12.400 No, I think it was like seven.

00:09:13.760 Point is, I don't know how this happened.

00:09:15.440 I don't know how under my mother's supervision,

00:09:17.040 not throwing shame onto her.

00:09:20.820 Did they diffuse it? 0.60

00:09:21.800 Did they treat it like curly hair?

00:09:22.620 I don't remember.

00:09:23.320 All I know is that I had a short haircut.

00:09:24.880 I was miserable, traumatized.

00:09:27.560 I went to go visit an old woman who lived on our block

00:09:30.820 who couldn't see, and she saw me,

00:09:33.540 or could hardly see, and said, who's that boy?

00:09:36.180 and it's actually

00:09:36.960 I was such a strong

00:09:38.220 I can like

00:09:38.820 feel the eerie daylight

00:09:40.380 that was in the room

00:09:41.320 like who's that boy

00:09:42.720 I mean it still

00:09:43.720 must have had tons

00:09:44.800 of volume though

00:09:45.540 yeah no

00:09:46.540 it's not like it was

00:09:47.420 but it was

00:09:48.580 but here's what's

00:09:49.740 really sweet

00:09:50.120 I remember crying

00:09:50.980 I was very upset

00:09:51.740 my best friend

00:09:52.900 at the time

00:09:53.740 got the same haircut

00:09:54.860 in solidarity

00:09:55.360 really

00:09:56.380 yes 1.00

00:09:57.180 did she have curly hair 1.00

00:09:58.480 no 0.99

00:09:58.920 so she was getting

00:09:59.840 in solidarity with Marlo

00:10:01.200 she was like

00:10:02.220 I can pull off the cut

00:10:03.200 well no Marlo

00:10:03.860 was to shoulder length

00:10:04.980 oh okay

00:10:05.520 It was a whole different thing.

00:10:06.900 But the point is, my mother, I think maybe my mother on some level is trying to protect

00:10:10.380 me from a bad haircut, right?

00:10:11.620 Her going, well, just a trim, right? 0.82

00:10:12.880 Just a trim.

00:10:14.340 So I want to get a haircut, go see my mother and have her look at me and not go, oh, right,

00:10:20.200 your haircut.

00:10:22.140 I want to look the same.

00:10:23.960 Well, maintaining a cut is a notion.

00:10:26.760 I actually a few months ago thought.

00:10:28.200 My father, fresh with a haircut, you know, comes home, they've blow dried him.

00:10:31.260 You know what I mean?

00:10:31.740 It's like always like such a. 0.96

00:10:32.920 Well, you always look crazy right after.

00:10:34.280 Or you need, like, in curly hair, they say it takes three days to settle.

00:10:37.480 And truly, it's like, it actually has to.

00:10:41.280 Some things, it's not just, it's not just settling, broadly speaking, right?

00:10:45.540 It's a different level of weight on that whole strand.

00:10:48.240 Yeah.

00:10:48.920 It's not like it doesn't.

00:10:49.700 So it's real.

00:10:50.640 I laughed because I woke up the other morning and I laughed.

00:10:56.280 I want to play through, though, your mother, like, horrified.

00:10:58.840 And let's go through that and deal with it.

00:11:01.640 You could be changed.

00:11:02.920 Really?

00:11:03.340 Why were you laughing?

00:11:04.560 Well, no, I was going to say I woke up the other morning.

00:11:06.440 My partner was laughing and said, look at yourself.

00:11:08.920 And my eyebrows were all stuck up.

00:11:10.500 It was like I had like slept in a way, but it looked like I had like gotten in a fight in my sleep.

00:11:14.300 Like my all my eyebrows were up across over.

00:11:16.980 It was.

00:11:17.360 Yeah.

00:11:17.580 But. 0.95

00:11:19.280 If my mother hated my haircut.

00:11:22.460 Oh, OK.

00:11:23.640 You got a haircut.

00:11:25.340 Yeah, I like it.

00:11:26.580 That's nice.

00:11:27.240 Who are you going to these days?

00:11:28.380 The same person?

00:11:29.620 Yeah, no, it's her.

00:11:30.740 Yeah.

00:11:31.980 You don't like it?

00:11:32.600 kitty it's beautiful you're always beautiful okay so here's the difference i know i'm not doing your

00:11:37.440 mom because my mom would she would go i think she would say and this would be fine it's a little

00:11:42.560 short i think what she would do is go yeah i just love that haircut you had a few months ago right

00:11:47.780 or i really like it when you do that does she i do that you do the in favor of saying the negative

00:11:53.600 yeah you'll you'll name the positive other like what like what like what like to me with anything

00:11:58.640 Like, like, um, Kate, do you like this hat design I made or something?

00:12:03.360 Okay.

00:12:03.740 I'm really excited about the one you showed me last time or whatever.

00:12:08.980 I mean, it's not, it's not a good impression of you, but you, um, you know, pause and then,

00:12:14.640 and then, no, it's just, you know, if you give me a TBH, you know, I lose my mind because

00:12:22.240 I'm like, why do you think I can't handle what's coming?

00:12:25.280 Yeah, yeah, totally.

00:12:26.020 That's classic.

00:12:26.580 Wait, wait, take me back.

00:12:28.640 Well, that's it.

00:12:29.460 No, nothing's it.

00:12:30.300 Dermoplane?

00:12:30.760 Yeah, Dermoplane.

00:12:31.580 Okay, wait, hold on.

00:12:32.320 Dirty brushes.

00:12:33.060 When are we cleaning our brushes?

00:12:35.880 Yeah, okay.

00:12:36.820 Well, I really do think for foundation, I like the hand.

00:12:41.100 Blending brush.

00:12:41.580 That's beautiful, Kate.

00:12:42.080 What you just did.

00:12:42.940 Really?

00:12:43.140 The delicateness, yeah.

00:12:44.740 By the way, I'm looking for a piano.

00:12:46.560 We'll talk about that later.

00:12:47.140 Really?

00:12:47.700 I'm looking for a lot.

00:12:50.900 Well, yeah, I mean, if we're going to do a begging.

00:12:54.120 By the way, I've been not applying serum to my neck for years.

00:12:57.220 Well, that.

00:12:57.640 You know, as we talked about, chin to the tops of the nipples. 0.96

00:13:00.220 Yeah. 0.97

00:13:00.700 By the way. 0.69

00:13:01.420 Nipple to the hairline.

00:13:02.420 I just bought, I just re-upped my SkinCeuticals, C-Ferulic, and P-T-Ox serums.

00:13:06.840 Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on.

00:13:08.140 They're so expensive. 1.00

00:13:09.140 What the fuck is P-T-Ox humiliated? 0.99

00:13:09.820 If I go from here to the top of the nipple, these bottles that usually last me, what, six months? 0.99

00:13:16.400 Oh, you know what I like?

00:13:17.840 I got a lot to say about this.

00:13:18.900 So hold on.

00:13:19.360 How much did it cost?

00:13:20.340 You don't want to know.

00:13:21.040 You're not ready.

00:13:22.020 I'm not ready.

00:13:22.780 How many serums?

00:13:23.840 Two.

00:13:25.620 One's eight.

00:13:26.180 Yeah.

00:13:26.960 How much?

00:13:27.640 Oh, that's a lot.

00:13:31.760 I mean, it's not more than two baiters, right?

00:13:36.520 Can't even remember what that is.

00:13:37.840 Okay.

00:13:38.460 Well, together they came to $350.

00:13:41.160 Fine, $360.

00:13:42.200 I knocked $10 off.

00:13:43.160 Why is it that would lessen the pain?

00:13:44.680 I know.

00:13:44.960 I watch you carve a little away.

00:13:46.460 It seems uncouth to spend so much on serum.

00:13:49.400 Does it?

00:13:50.760 Again, it lasts forever.

00:13:52.840 I mean, maybe a year.

00:13:54.160 It doesn't.

00:13:54.840 Maybe a year.

00:13:55.340 Because you haven't been putting it everywhere.

00:13:57.020 I know.

00:13:57.640 Well, here's where I'm at.

00:13:58.660 Because I also actually just did an out-of-pocket job.

00:14:00.940 An out-of-pocket, yeah.

00:14:02.060 I was like, I'm out of mists.

00:14:03.860 Wow.

00:14:04.100 I mean, I'm down to like, and as you know, I believe,

00:14:06.700 mist in every room, mist throughout the day.

00:14:09.120 Totally.

00:14:09.720 All right.

00:14:10.700 And I think I ordered them from, I'm trying to remember,

00:14:13.120 I think it was Soko Glam.

00:14:14.240 Mm-hmm.

00:14:14.880 I said, here we go. 0.96

00:14:15.960 And I got several, you know, of the Time Revolution Mishas. 0.94

00:14:19.780 I got the classic, you know, I got the classic one, 0.99

00:14:22.200 the Misha First Essence. 0.97

00:14:24.400 Okay.

00:14:24.580 Yeah.

00:14:24.960 And then I got this new one they have that's like enriched.

00:14:27.240 which is the mission of whatever enriched like all right they added some stuff to it

00:14:31.740 then i got time revolution um misha serum which is the classic dupe for lauder oh i've never used

00:14:42.180 that yeah yeah you know this is all like they're all kind of like you know fermented right it's

00:14:47.880 all like the fermentation thing we all need whatever i'm distracted because i've still

00:14:51.260 been saving my dr diamond i'm gonna i ask you this now because i'll forget do you think i can

00:14:56.180 incorporate the Dr. Diamond with the other serums.

00:14:59.300 Yes.

00:14:59.900 Okay, great.

00:15:00.440 And I say that.

00:15:01.800 Starting tonight.

00:15:02.440 Based on my own.

00:15:02.880 Starting tonight.

00:15:04.300 Sorry, I got excited.

00:15:05.340 Well, we have a huge skincare get coming our way.

00:15:07.720 What?

00:15:08.080 Let's talk about it in a minute.

00:15:09.200 Let's talk about it in a minute.

00:15:10.060 Okay, wait, I want to tell you more.

00:15:11.280 I want to talk about, I want to tell you more about the serum order and the mists.

00:15:16.320 Do you ever like an essence that you go bop, bop, bop?

00:15:19.160 Well, here we go.

00:15:19.820 Time Revolution comes that way.

00:15:23.500 and i like to decant because unscrewing although the enriched one might be a little thick

00:15:30.760 this is a huge question i would love to have it in my cabinet like seven seven different bottles

00:15:35.880 mist bottles okay empty like core ones that have different levels of of um you know aerosolizing

00:15:43.180 right like ones that can kind of squirt out a thick one ones that can aerosol because they

00:15:49.720 don't all not all spritz mechanisms yeah can handle it right so to me it's all about decanting

00:15:57.860 into the mitt like i got my mother the misha first essence once and i got her a little spritz

00:16:02.620 bottle i was like it's not you're not gonna use it okay unless it's spritz it's true i keep one

00:16:07.680 in the bathroom every time you pee but wait there's something here oh oh oh you know it's

00:16:15.460 coming well i don't know if this is how you pronounce it okay who cares and it's coming

00:16:20.040 as a gift what caglia caglia caglia the cell forte serum angela caglia i've been i've it's like

00:16:33.760 you know non-human dna-less can i look it up so i it's been oh she's expensive yeah i've been i've

00:16:42.340 been begging i mean i've been in the cave it was actually through the shop my that was the

00:16:47.060 connection point listen to this oprah editor's choice 2024 l beauty winner 2023 birdie beauty

00:16:53.660 award i mean it was novak's number one beg of last year you may recall and it's finally happening

00:16:59.320 okay so now what i like about this one is like it's so extreme that people are like is there

00:17:04.780 human dna in there okay oh my god amazing okay so i'm like you know there's something where like

00:17:09.340 I like that. 0.98

00:17:10.080 I've talked about this, I think, but I like that they're having to like, it's so extreme.

00:17:14.480 It's so new.

00:17:14.820 Prove that it's moral.

00:17:15.520 Yes.

00:17:15.940 Yeah.

00:17:16.240 Thank you.

00:17:17.100 They're like, no one died.

00:17:18.640 Oh my God.

00:17:19.220 1% of all proceeds go towards research into the use of human mesenchymal stem cells for

00:17:26.020 the treatment of dementia and Alzheimer's.

00:17:27.760 Whoa, 1%.

00:17:28.700 I know.

00:17:29.080 How do you make it five?

00:17:29.880 I know, I know, I know.

00:17:30.900 It's a huge question.

00:17:31.800 Anytime you're like doing a percentage.

00:17:34.560 What about a portion?

00:17:36.660 A portion.

00:17:37.120 A portion of sales.

00:17:37.680 Well, a portion means nothing.

00:17:38.720 If you say a portion of sales.

00:17:40.000 Small portion for me.

00:17:41.060 Yeah.

00:17:42.160 Wait. 0.98

00:17:42.620 My mother in an ice cream shop like, 1.00

00:17:45.620 can I have the littlest baby scoop?

00:17:49.920 It's like a single scoop is a single scoop.

00:17:51.940 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:17:52.600 I saw a thing today that was like common household Band-Aids,

00:17:57.560 Band-Aid brand, Walmart brand bandages, whatever,

00:18:00.680 tested high for PFAs, you know, forever chemicals.

00:18:04.060 Right.

00:18:04.380 Forever plastics going right into your open wounds.

00:18:07.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:18:07.720 So I immediately searched for PFA-free bandages.

00:18:11.480 Can you imagine?

00:18:12.420 So I was like.

00:18:13.340 I have to.

00:18:14.780 Branch Basics.

00:18:16.000 Blueland, Branch Basics.

00:18:17.900 Wait, Blueland, Branch Basics.

00:18:19.900 Wait, that's part of Blueland?

00:18:21.680 No, I'm just saying two different ones.

00:18:24.060 But I have to replace everything in the home that isn't green.

00:18:27.660 The products.

00:18:29.320 Today I wore something working out.

00:18:31.520 I could smell.

00:18:32.360 It was like downy.

00:18:33.300 It was like when I start sweating.

00:18:35.240 And then the.

00:18:35.780 Okay, so the.

00:18:36.760 Leech.

00:18:36.900 Yeah, direct. 0.88

00:18:37.720 pure perfume directly into the bloodstream.

00:18:40.540 Yeah.

00:18:42.540 Well, actually, I think

00:18:44.280 we use these little paper sheets.

00:18:46.100 The sheets! And those, I think, are, you know...

00:18:48.260 Where are those?

00:18:49.400 Where are those? Okay, but I need to replace everything

00:18:52.340 branch basics. We got rid of the baby-scented ones. 1.00

00:18:54.080 We were like, uh-oh. Yeah. 1.00

00:18:56.600 Wait, take me back. I'm not done with the skincare,

00:18:58.180 so we're getting that, right? I got my essences.

00:19:00.100 Wait, what else is going on with the skincare?

00:19:01.040 I have my, like, same

00:19:04.300 eyeshadow palette. You know, I want to start having fun

00:19:06.400 with makeup well i did a complete reorganization oh well you you know this is another area so a

00:19:12.940 lot of what's coming coming to pass for me is i'm gonna have to start nine lines of my product

00:19:20.080 designs uh-huh the shit doesn't exist i'm gonna have to create it i'm looking for makeup storage

00:19:25.520 it is not just the acrylic i'm just i'm tired of the acrylic containers within here's a huge 0.96

00:19:33.040 problem. Arbitrary number of lipstick holders. Right, right, right. Oh, it's perfect for my

00:19:38.100 lipstick. I guess I'm only allowed eight. Yeah. Oh, there's this thing. I don't know if I've

00:19:41.720 told you about it. Did I tell you about Gridfinity? Just like I probably did. I discovered it on

00:19:46.720 Reddit while I was Googling for like, you know, best storage for blah, blah, blah. So one of the

00:19:52.340 hobbies I'm thinking of getting into, and I'd really like to be sent the materials. And this

00:19:57.840 is talk about hobby. This would be a absolute hobby. Like there's no excuse for me to do this

00:20:02.320 other than I enjoy it right what 3d printing things that I could use and okay you with a 3d

00:20:10.000 printer oh no okay so here's so people do this thing so it's like a grid either on a you know 0.55

00:20:17.960 on a wall or in the thing and then and then they they 3d print the perfect shit for their right 0.81

00:20:27.360 right for exactly what they love and own totally so they're like so like you could have your you 0.94

00:20:32.200 know it's a what fixation it's a i don't think it's a hobby how is creating something not a

00:20:40.260 hobby what do you mean for you 3d printing i don't think it's a hobby it's a fixation it's a

00:20:45.200 it's another it's a solution i'm not saying don't get into it no no i'm just saying it wouldn't it

00:20:51.580 wouldn't like it's it's not it's not a hobby when and but i think though it's pleasure that i can't

00:20:59.000 argue like what i'm saying is it it's faux solution and that's why i'm calling it a hobby

00:21:03.780 because i can't argue that spending my time printing i'm it would only be for fun to print

00:21:09.160 something out that holds my pure lift which i do not own because i can't find it and i'm still

00:21:12.560 by the way i was thinking about the pure lift yesterday when are you gonna send it they by the

00:21:17.240 way they are like now i'm actually they are mad no i'm feeling like the level of rejection they

00:21:24.880 you can make this better by sending the pure lift devices to myself and jacklyn jacklyn paid for it

00:21:29.520 out of pocket she lost it i refuse to see her being punished as a result of the natural human

00:21:33.100 error of losing something i want a pure lift the desire is really strong i tried to make a video

00:21:39.180 you know doing it and i was like yeah it feels good i like doing it the whole thing i want it

00:21:44.920 again um but anyway the point being these things that come with nothing like fitting it into its

00:21:50.400 its section very pleasing but anyway you know the reason it's a hobby is because i come up with

00:21:56.400 ideas for doesn't exist i go i'm gonna i want to fabricate it i could quickly go over to my machine

00:22:03.520 okay whatever okay i'm gonna go yeah okay it's so amazing because you just you really are into

00:22:12.700 that it's amazing it's like where you and i just completely split like i just have no desire for

00:22:17.960 that i know it's weird because like interesting i didn't totally know i was you've been making

00:22:24.500 no i know i mean like it's not what anyone would like that's yes from from like childhood no one

00:22:30.680 like perceived that yeah although i did once make like a very like a modernist sofa out of

00:22:36.000 box. I love that.

00:22:38.380 But it is undeniably

00:22:39.720 in me.

00:22:42.280 And I'd like to start cashing in.

00:22:44.220 If I had a truly

00:22:45.760 like a technical drawing

00:22:47.340 patent type person

00:22:49.640 in my life.

00:22:51.780 I mean, I've asked for this before.

00:22:54.020 They've reached out. I haven't seen them.

00:22:56.140 They have. Years ago. Or something.

00:22:57.960 Well, reach out again. You gotta knock three times

00:22:59.840 on this temple. Yeah, it's true.

00:23:06.000 to do ads for quince what can i say i'm effing pumped why i was a quince early adopter i knew

00:23:11.680 about quince before anyone i was giving family members cashmere sweaters for christmas and

00:23:16.500 people going how the hell they were upset they're going you should be spending this much on me and

00:23:20.280 i'm going wow okay my brother this year now he his whole family's into it he goes it's like a

00:23:27.140 magic store i feel dignified when i'm using their products because i feel like it's literally

00:23:33.680 quality so if you're asking is quince my go-to for luxury essentials and affordable prices

00:23:38.880 the answer's yeah the best part all quince items are priced 50 to 80 percent less than similar

00:23:44.400 brands by partnering directly with top factories quince cuts the cost of the middleman and passes

00:23:49.540 the savings on to us give yourself the luxury you deserve with quince go to quince.com slash hags 0.94

00:23:55.680 for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns 365 day returns folks damn that's quince

00:24:03.240 q-u-i-n-c-e dot com slash hags to get free shipping and 365 day returns quince dot com slash hags

00:24:11.020 i had a transformative dining experience i just want to quickly shout out lucky's in montecito

00:24:19.860 really um and what kind of cuisine so classic steakhouse you know photos of sinatra on the

00:24:26.180 wall kind of thing fireplace white tablecloth i'm just gonna say this quickly imagine imagine

00:24:31.460 this pulling up it's like you know it's a nice restaurant it's not good it's not going to be a

00:24:35.160 cheat meal right pulling up and i see a sign parking's impossible right i see a valet station 0.65

00:24:40.820 and go okay pulling up two words scared what is it complimentary valet damn which by the way

00:24:49.320 and i you grew up in la heard when dare i say it should be standard literally you're gonna make

00:24:58.600 people by the way tip pay to have the opportunity person to bail in your car of course and guess

00:25:03.280 what you're gonna do i mean tip huge yeah yeah wouldn't you rather just of course give 10 bucks

00:25:09.720 by the way yeah restaurants this is like you know complimentary valet i mean it should have been

00:25:15.700 that the whole time think about that so imagine this pulling up to a restaurant you build a

00:25:21.120 restaurant in a place with no parking you don't have a parking lot you don't have an attached

00:25:24.220 parking a lot or parking garage so first of all i'm flooded with joy and this is not a big public

00:25:30.760 transportation city where you go you could subway towards us yeah yeah exactly no i mean they're

00:25:35.460 working on that but you know but no but this is so call montrealet and i'm through the roof

00:25:40.200 the joy and i i'm i can't stop talking about it and i like it's amazing go in two things happen

00:25:46.000 first of all i i'm having a renaissance with and this isn't exciting this is just so standard but

00:25:52.460 I'm having a dirty martini renaissance.

00:25:54.740 Here's specifically what it is.

00:25:56.000 Oh, right, right, right.

00:25:56.580 Vermouth you're into again or something.

00:25:58.100 Yeah, I'm fine with it.

00:25:58.920 Yeah.

00:25:59.240 And they go, you okay with a little vermouth?

00:26:00.400 I go, of course.

00:26:01.120 What's there to fear?

00:26:02.440 I haven't had one that's too vermouth-y.

00:26:04.120 What is this whole, are you okay with vermouth?

00:26:06.440 I'm confused.

00:26:06.620 Because people go, I want to wash.

00:26:07.980 People want to dry.

00:26:08.580 I used to think, oh, do I want a dry martini with a twist?

00:26:11.200 No.

00:26:11.920 Dry means zero vermouth?

00:26:14.040 Essentially, I believe.

00:26:15.940 A drop.

00:26:16.740 Maybe a drop. 1.00

00:26:17.500 Imagine being known for your martinis just as a woman. 1.00

00:26:19.900 Oh, I'm trying to get there. 0.84

00:26:21.420 I'm going to try to get there, too.

00:26:22.440 I bought an aerosolizer thing with just vermouth to go vermouth to the glass.

00:26:27.960 For a wash.

00:26:28.480 I'm trying to become someone who has frozen martini glasses in the fridge, freezer, so I can offer a guest.

00:26:34.700 Can you get your martini?

00:26:36.000 Dirty?

00:26:36.320 I'm trying to figure out how, in this town, to have something really exciting, ready to go, that doesn't mean, like, they can't drive home, right?

00:26:43.700 Obviously, I want the one system in place.

00:26:45.460 Because I, like, I can only handle one martini.

00:26:47.960 I think that's not—

00:26:50.420 still only had a couple dinners I've gone I guess I could do two but why ruin this yeah okay so once

00:26:55.400 again turning to going I'd probably operate better on booze and no Jacqueline's the best oh this this

00:27:02.080 was amazing moment which um I mean obviously tests operated better on booze so I guess yeah stigma

00:27:08.660 deliver well I remember hearing I and I don't I don't have a big drinking life I was talking to

00:27:13.640 a friend who, a Norwegian

00:27:15.660 friend, who was saying his friend

00:27:17.660 believed in microdosing alcohol.

00:27:20.220 Genius.

00:27:22.040 Which is pretty amazing.

00:27:23.500 Like a shot of, like half a shot

00:27:25.480 of vodka. I used to feel like going on stage, okay, just having a little

00:27:27.420 taste, the harsh taste of vodka,

00:27:29.740 right, kind of evokes

00:27:31.700 like a vibe of

00:27:33.720 like, things are crazy. Yeah, yeah, totally.

00:27:36.080 Totally. Up and down, up

00:27:37.720 and down, all day, all day.

00:27:40.200 I mean, here's a question, what

00:27:41.460 are you going for when you mix

00:27:43.320 say when you do

00:27:44.520 Red Bull vodka

00:27:45.240 right like what

00:27:46.760 because they

00:27:47.660 they must operate

00:27:48.460 on different pathways

00:27:49.220 what are you going for

00:27:50.480 you mean

00:27:50.900 like upper downer

00:27:52.400 yeah

00:27:53.380 are they canceling

00:27:54.560 each other out

00:27:54.940 the nexus of hell

00:27:55.600 yeah

00:27:55.880 right

00:27:56.700 and in my mind

00:27:57.860 they don't

00:27:58.680 I mean in my mind

00:27:59.360 there's something

00:27:59.840 not that I'm drinking

00:28:01.100 Red Bull vodkas

00:28:01.700 all the time

00:28:02.100 yeah

00:28:02.320 but like

00:28:03.100 there's something

00:28:03.760 aren't they illegal

00:28:04.440 Celsius vodka

00:28:06.080 I think I've talked about

00:28:07.160 being in Denver

00:28:07.840 like when I was like

00:28:08.960 21 visiting my cousin

00:28:10.240 yeah

00:28:11.160 and all her friends

00:28:12.060 all they were drinking

00:28:12.900 and it was Red Bull vodka.

00:28:14.040 And I just, you know, I was from New York, you know.

00:28:17.260 I was doing Glen Living on the Rocks with two maraschino cherries, please.

00:28:21.180 And I still remember you serving me a Manhattan in New York in your home.

00:28:24.220 That was the cocktail I could make perfectly.

00:28:25.640 Yeah.

00:28:26.460 And drinking all these vodka Red Bulls,

00:28:29.720 and then the bartender hosing down the couch with like,

00:28:33.560 took water and was like, yeah.

00:28:35.480 And I was like, get me back to New York.

00:28:37.920 It wasn't wet t-shirt.

00:28:38.920 It was just being crazy.

00:28:40.560 Wet t-shirt.

00:28:41.420 First of all, let's just take a minute, right?

00:28:42.900 okay wet t-shirt sort of a cliche for sort of trashy spring breaky whatever right but again

00:28:49.900 like so many things when someone came up with it okay kind of genius wet t-shirt contest

00:28:56.960 not so much even the contest like a like spray him down you're not taking your clothes off right

00:29:04.100 right right because what are you doing right you're like a t-shirt hangs by by spraying down 0.99

00:29:09.060 the water right you're carving away like you're you're carving a you're carving tits out of that 0.94

00:29:14.280 yeah yeah right through yeah like it's kind of like genius it's grecian too it is it is yeah 0.75

00:29:20.160 the marble clinging marble yeah so like there's there's a there's classics the classics are alive

00:29:26.660 in the wet t-shirt but and also looks cool right oh yeah i don't think i've ever done it i mean not

00:29:32.860 a contest but even i don't think i've even been sprayed down fun i've never been sprayed down in

00:29:36.760 a wet t-shirt even my by myself like i don't know what i'd look like probably amazing yeah

00:29:43.680 i had a technological breakdown of not understanding technology where

00:29:47.440 i had um a shirt on stomach growling that's how i for a second basically i for a second was worried

00:29:54.520 you could photoshop away away a t-shirt to reveal what was underneath right no no no

00:29:58.640 okay i understand exactly i similarly had a moment where i was holding a paper book

00:30:04.520 and had a brief fear of is it charged oh yeah totally okay there was that and then also is my

00:30:12.500 pen charged is a thing and what i mean is is it ink and by the way this is this was a christmas

00:30:18.660 gift from chris okay this is my capless oh wow later looks heavy see what why what what what

00:30:25.300 is special about this pen why is it for me it's a fountain pen can i see it yeah it's a fountain

00:30:31.860 pen but i'll be gentle it's a fountain pen because beautiful but because i add using the

00:30:38.920 90s term i can have an uncapped fountain pen and sort of dry out totally wait really quickly back

00:30:44.940 to lucky no no i just want to say that i was having some of my jordi martini and then my friend

00:30:49.380 was like i want to get escargot and i was like i've actually never had escargot really not even

00:30:55.880 at Lucienne in New York?

00:30:57.460 No.

00:30:59.060 John and I used to get...

00:31:00.700 Escargot there?

00:31:01.620 Yeah.

00:31:03.200 In the East Village.

00:31:04.460 Get an Escargot in the East Village.

00:31:05.560 I miss New York.

00:31:07.220 It's there for us.

00:31:08.620 It really is.

00:31:09.340 Okay, so I...

00:31:10.900 Go to New York.

00:31:11.340 The point is, though...

00:31:11.880 Do a quick theatrical...

00:31:13.880 I'm going to be going to New York

00:31:15.920 in the future.

00:31:16.600 You and me on Broadway?

00:31:17.840 Of course.

00:31:18.680 Straight to Broadway.

00:31:19.660 Us.

00:31:20.620 Let's think about it.

00:31:21.480 Ah!

00:31:22.460 Ow.

00:31:23.160 Okay, but...

00:31:24.720 Point is, I had an escargot.

00:31:26.240 It's a, you know, it just tastes like butter and garlic.

00:31:28.620 Yeah.

00:31:29.480 But it freaked me out, though.

00:31:31.020 Well, vegan escargot, right?

00:31:31.860 That's what I prefer.

00:31:32.620 Porcini mushroom.

00:31:34.000 Any mushroom.

00:31:34.820 Oh, wait.

00:31:35.400 Have I had that somewhere?

00:31:36.180 That's good.

00:31:36.600 Okay, yeah, exactly.

00:31:37.520 Because it just means the smell.

00:31:38.740 It could just be, have it be a mushroom.

00:31:40.160 Yeah.

00:31:40.380 And I'm not saying, like, it's just.

00:31:42.020 Have it be a garlic and butter.

00:31:43.280 Have it be garlic and.

00:31:44.740 Sorry, I was so straight down the road.

00:31:46.480 I want to try vegan caviar, actually.

00:31:48.560 I was just about to bring that up.

00:31:50.380 Stop.

00:31:50.900 Literally, because I've seen the ads, as have you.

00:31:53.000 Yeah, I'm fed the ads.

00:31:54.100 Okay, and I go, yeah, yeah.

00:31:55.600 I bought something from an Instagram ad the other day.

00:31:57.140 I go, fine.

00:31:58.480 Not the thing you were excited about last time.

00:32:01.320 Not the cold roller or whatever.

00:32:03.560 There was another thing that you gave in to.

00:32:05.600 I don't remember.

00:32:06.180 To stop showing you the ad.

00:32:06.880 Wait, but really quick to Lucky's.

00:32:09.000 I'm just going to say this.

00:32:10.180 Had fun finishing the meal.

00:32:11.920 Imagine this.

00:32:13.020 We're paying the bill.

00:32:15.400 We're not in a rush.

00:32:16.900 We mosey out.

00:32:19.680 Take one step out the restaurant.

00:32:22.040 No.

00:32:22.820 No, they know you're coming.

00:32:24.380 And my car is pulled up, pulling up. 0.99

00:32:26.680 And I go, how the fuck? 0.98

00:32:29.160 Because you're wondering, was it, was it not luck exactly, but. 0.99

00:32:35.020 They're like, they're like, they're like, she's like.

00:32:37.140 That's what I'm asking.

00:32:37.940 That's what I'm wondering.

00:32:38.860 The guy who took my car, he didn't, he did not ask for my name.

00:32:42.920 He was like, do you have a reservation?

00:32:43.780 What's your name?

00:32:44.480 She's got a high. 0.86

00:32:44.980 Okay. 0.97

00:32:46.200 So it goes, she's coming in. 1.00

00:32:48.540 She has curly hair. 1.00

00:32:49.240 Curly. 1.00

00:32:49.700 Three people coming in.

00:32:51.280 Curly.

00:32:51.980 And then.

00:32:52.820 you should have seen the show

00:32:55.140 I gave it

00:32:55.500 I was so blown away

00:32:56.700 I told him I was like

00:32:57.320 I've never been treated

00:32:57.920 like this in my life

00:32:58.640 I was going crazy

00:32:59.680 you received it

00:33:00.820 you received it

00:33:01.800 I received the glory of it

00:33:02.860 and I'm still stunned

00:33:04.320 and I don't understand

00:33:04.960 I feel like I had

00:33:05.940 service recently

00:33:06.460 how do they do that

00:33:07.240 oh I went to a restaurant

00:33:08.440 you know

00:33:08.940 two months

00:33:09.600 and

00:33:10.420 two months ago

00:33:12.480 place where they have

00:33:13.240 one vegan option basically

00:33:14.920 yeah

00:33:15.240 we walk in

00:33:16.120 and I've never

00:33:16.600 I don't think I've ever

00:33:17.260 had this happen

00:33:17.820 she goes

00:33:18.520 I already put the order in

00:33:19.740 no

00:33:20.280 okay

00:33:20.860 wait how 0.99

00:33:21.700 No, I mean, she saw us and put the order in.

00:33:23.520 Because she saw her name on the reservation?

00:33:24.740 When we walked in.

00:33:26.060 Okay.

00:33:26.440 So she knew you were coming?

00:33:28.140 No.

00:33:28.620 What restaurant?

00:33:29.500 Okay, basically, it's a restaurant right by an Airbnb that I like to go to.

00:33:32.660 Okay.

00:33:32.820 No, I won't be linking the Airbnb because that would be, I don't need you collecting my DNA.

00:33:36.460 Yeah.

00:33:36.960 So we go a lot.

00:33:38.940 And the restaurant has one thing on the menu, basically, that's vegan.

00:33:41.860 What is the item?

00:33:42.600 I'm curious.

00:33:43.240 Spaghetti squash, pasta.

00:33:45.880 Oh.

00:33:46.500 With a variety of things.

00:33:49.480 Okay.

00:33:49.660 Okay.

00:33:49.840 and we get this bean soup to start always without the cheese whatever and uh you know

00:33:56.500 and we come in she sees us and she goes will you be having the side salad you sometimes add

00:34:02.560 no that was the only thing okay and i mean we really get this every time because it's just

00:34:08.960 it's really it's that it's that kind of place we're not going to do a whole like point is comes

00:34:13.160 in spaghetti squash no extra oil white bean soup sides hello this time or not coconut mojito

00:34:20.400 yes okay yeah yeah okay and that feels good it was unbelievable that's great because you know

00:34:28.720 the anxiety of like i have i'm gonna have to communicate all these things right right every

00:34:33.080 time yeah i'm gonna have to say because i really just don't want this like i just don't want the

00:34:38.520 extra oil what does that mean no extra oil they're on this particular dish that i know so well

00:34:43.260 finishing oil there's like a finishing oil that really you know they slap it on yeah okay yeah

00:34:48.040 for the oil liquors and there's oil in the dish you know what i mean yeah but the extra i just

00:34:52.960 don't i don't need yeah and and no sure whatever so you came okay right so you tap dance for them

00:34:59.240 it was just incredible the car what did you get so it was good and how how did this place you've

00:35:04.700 been in the past no never been it was a really weird order because i was it's like a steakhouse

00:35:08.000 didn't want steak

00:35:08.880 you know

00:35:10.220 I just didn't want

00:35:10.900 it wasn't gonna happen

00:35:11.860 wasn't

00:35:13.080 and I arrived

00:35:13.560 not starving

00:35:14.180 shrimp cocktail

00:35:15.140 escargot

00:35:15.680 shocking

00:35:16.220 I had matzo ball soup

00:35:18.140 great

00:35:19.200 we had a million sides

00:35:20.960 it was a very weird order

00:35:21.900 but the point

00:35:22.420 also okay

00:35:23.120 I have a quick

00:35:23.780 in a matzo ball soup

00:35:24.420 do you like it

00:35:25.000 like smooth

00:35:26.580 like it's

00:35:27.080 that really smooth kind

00:35:28.540 or like

00:35:28.980 you know

00:35:29.300 sort of

00:35:30.000 bumpy

00:35:31.020 yeah

00:35:31.880 lumpy

00:35:33.080 maybe bumpy

00:35:34.580 you know like

00:35:35.180 yeah

00:35:36.120 cause that feels like homemade

00:35:37.420 yeah

00:35:37.800 yeah really quick correct answer I have a quick yeah I have a quick um again this is what I said

00:35:44.060 to you this is like a story but I was like it's probably not and you were like bring it

00:35:47.680 to the table yeah I was I had to get a birthday cake for someone okay I called a bakery local

00:35:58.400 bakery great bakery oh no did I miss John's birthday no this wasn't for him um there was

00:36:07.200 something weird like you didn't want to tell me like your friend i'm not no no no it doesn't matter

00:36:10.620 i'm like i'm like my like a caretaker for my father oh yeah yeah um it was something yeah

00:36:15.920 and i am so i called i called bakery hey what cakes do you have in today i'll say a proof

00:36:22.860 bakery in atwater gorgeous bakery yeah they have beautiful cakes um fancy cakes so they go yeah

00:36:28.360 we've got these these i go i'm gonna drive over there and by the way i'm flying on errands like

00:36:33.220 like just being people and like a cartoon the guy in front of me gets the last cake no literally

00:36:40.580 the guy in front of me you know what happened you know i think we once got the last pie we were up

00:36:45.140 at 5 30 a.m it was like in brooklyn for christmas oh thanksgiving it was like it was an article in

00:36:51.920 something about the little little black bird pie in brooklyn it was like the year that like they

00:36:58.120 launched and you know the times did a little thing and then it was like you know you have to line up

00:37:02.820 early in the morning we were not alone i have i have a video somewhere i'll never forget a few

00:37:07.460 years back my mom said i forgot whatever i was going with john i believe to get a honey baked

00:37:12.220 ham oh yeah i would argue 10 blocks of people i mean it was i filmed it it was so startling

00:37:18.400 it was shocking anyway it's great to be a part of something like that i know everyone oh honey

00:37:22.180 so first so guy in front of me gets last cake and i'm in a good mood i go yeah wasn't meant to be

00:37:29.440 I get out.

00:37:30.800 You just leave.

00:37:31.320 Where do I go?

00:37:31.780 Yeah, yeah.

00:37:32.280 Of course.

00:37:32.680 Last cake of all.

00:37:33.360 Cakes.

00:37:33.860 Yeah, no more whole cakes.

00:37:35.180 Yeah.

00:37:35.560 Sold out by 1 p.m.

00:37:37.360 That's how good the cakes are, folks.

00:37:39.060 So I.

00:37:39.480 What's it called again?

00:37:40.140 Proof Bakery in Atwater.

00:37:41.820 And I do accept this.

00:37:42.360 Proofs in the sales, it sounds like.

00:37:44.800 They have fabulous little sandwiches.

00:37:46.160 Okay.

00:37:47.200 I go, okay, where do I go for cake?

00:37:49.800 Ran into a friend on the sidewalk.

00:37:52.100 I tell him about my cake problem.

00:37:53.600 He goes, well, you know what people love?

00:37:55.220 They love that Chantilly. 0.96

00:37:58.160 Lace.

00:37:58.560 Whole Foods cake

00:38:00.300 and even I saw this

00:38:01.740 this is like the world now

00:38:02.700 of the internet

00:38:03.320 where I saw

00:38:03.740 I was like

00:38:04.660 no no no

00:38:05.040 it was like

00:38:05.300 Whole Foods discontinues

00:38:06.600 Chantilly cake

00:38:07.320 uproar in twos

00:38:08.460 so they brought it back

00:38:09.460 he was like

00:38:10.440 people really love that cake

00:38:12.200 and I go

00:38:12.860 cool I'll also save

00:38:14.600 four thousand dollars

00:38:15.600 because it won't be so

00:38:16.920 and you're giving a gift

00:38:18.020 that like

00:38:18.860 has been sort of

00:38:20.340 solid

00:38:20.760 like

00:38:21.060 it's like the Jones

00:38:22.620 coconut cake

00:38:23.320 yeah you could attach

00:38:24.100 a little card to it

00:38:25.120 like with its legitimacy

00:38:26.180 Chantilly cake

00:38:26.980 yeah

00:38:28.040 So I call one Whole Foods.

00:38:29.820 They don't have it.

00:38:30.340 They don't have their own bakery.

00:38:31.280 I call Whole Foods that is in Santa Monica that I used to go to.

00:38:34.740 Like, they have their own bakery. 0.98

00:38:37.120 Woman answers. 0.97

00:38:37.900 I say, oh, you got the Chantilly cake? 0.98

00:38:39.140 She goes, yeah, we've got a six-inch and eight-inch in.

00:38:41.520 I go, this is great.

00:38:42.640 I'll get a six-inch.

00:38:43.920 Because I've been traumatized earlier, I say, would you be able to set one aside for me?

00:38:48.480 And she was like, yeah, of course.

00:38:49.600 I was like, Kate, okay, great.

00:38:50.680 I'll be there in 40 minutes.

00:38:52.100 She goes, great.

00:38:53.240 I'm driving there.

00:38:55.000 I come into Whole Foods.

00:38:55.960 By the way, Whole Foods, what a homecoming.

00:38:59.220 Because I've been cheating.

00:39:00.960 I've been going, you know, Erewhon, I've been cheating.

00:39:02.900 Right.

00:39:03.500 You know, going back to a home, a base, a hometown Whole Foods.

00:39:10.020 By the way, the bakery, I get a Cortado.

00:39:14.020 That makes me a Cortado.

00:39:15.260 I go, you can get coffee.

00:39:17.260 You can get coffee.

00:39:17.920 Yeah, yeah.

00:39:18.360 I was like, I'm going to go get coffee.

00:39:20.320 Get it right here.

00:39:21.740 I mean, I said Cortado.

00:39:23.120 They looked at me like I was crazy.

00:39:24.180 um they're like i don't know if we make that i was just sort of spacing out thinking about

00:39:28.760 i was just thinking about whole foods in the larger context because now it's like where you

00:39:33.360 drop you know it's amazon oh yeah where you drop and you like drop your pet like your amazon's

00:39:38.600 like oh right it's it's fully they're all yeah yeah for sure chris pays with his palm now

00:39:43.960 no you're kidding i can't do the palm thing it's oh my god yeah yeah

00:39:48.820 it's okay i know so i'm in a really good mood i'm really good he's like they already have it

00:39:56.460 they are yeah totally totally the palm is unbelievable so i i mean yeah self-driving

00:40:03.680 cars paying with a palm i mean okay so i yeah sorry i can't stop in the road and say what

00:40:10.480 happened when you got to the whole foods you're gonna know what happened so i get to the front

00:40:13.780 i'm flying high oh my god i'm also nervous i'm looking in the whole foods bakery thing and i'm

00:40:18.560 going i'm such a fucking snob i should be coming here yeah i see cupcakes that look by the way 0.81

00:40:22.340 beautiful they're kind of delicate i know decorate i know i go the whole foods i go yes i uh put a 0.98

00:40:30.300 cake i reserved a cake my name is kate did you think it was the person from the phone was there

00:40:34.820 any sense no because this was a guy clearly new shift yeah he goes in the thing really nice guys

00:40:39.740 looking he goes sorry comes back he brings over a cake happy 50th i go no well you wouldn't be

00:40:45.100 No, I know. But I was like, no, that's oh, no. He looks, looks, looks. Sorry. He goes around. He goes, I'm so sorry that it's not here. And I go, do you have a Chantilly? I go. Yeah. And then I go, oh, well, do you have one? He goes, well, let me just get you one. They're sold out. The six and the eight. They're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone, gone. I go. And I, of course, didn't get mad or anything. I just was like, this is so crazy. I just spoke to someone for like half an hour ago.

00:41:14.580 And he goes, let me go upstairs and check.

00:41:16.360 The point is, there was no cake.

00:41:17.460 It was gone.

00:41:18.200 And I go, how's it possible?

00:41:19.980 I go in my phone log.

00:41:21.240 I go, this is the right number, right?

00:41:22.480 I didn't call the wrong Whole Foods.

00:41:23.560 He goes, no, that's, that's.

00:41:24.680 So then you call at that time of day.

00:41:26.760 Shift had changed.

00:41:28.480 Yeah.

00:41:28.940 Until you get her again.

00:41:30.040 I go, what the hell happened?

00:41:31.340 Yeah, not, not, not about retribution, not about whatever, but to your curiosity.

00:41:34.840 Well, I'm wondering.

00:41:35.420 I have an idea.

00:41:36.200 I think I know what happened.

00:41:37.340 Okay, tell me.

00:41:37.920 Set it aside.

00:41:38.700 Okay.

00:41:39.020 Someone took it?

00:41:40.120 And then left or whatever.

00:41:41.440 35 minutes had passed.

00:41:42.360 someone comes and goes, can I get a Chantilly? And the new shift person just looks and sees it

00:41:47.240 set aside. It's a couple of things I don't understand. You know, next time, Kate, can I

00:41:51.300 pay for it over the phone? They won't accept it, but that'll lead to a level of, and also no first

00:41:56.260 names only. Yeah, yeah. I want to post it on that Kate. With the phone number. It says Kate Perlant.

00:42:01.320 Phone number. I know, what could have happened? Because also when I called and asked, she goes,

00:42:05.340 yeah, four inch, eight inch. So you're telling me in those 40 minutes, 35, 40 minutes. Wait,

00:42:09.920 Four inch?

00:42:10.540 I didn't know there was a four inch.

00:42:11.320 Sorry, I meant six and eight.

00:42:12.140 Oh, okay.

00:42:12.480 Six inch and eight inch.

00:42:13.720 In that time, people are coming in,

00:42:15.300 Chantilly, Chantilly, Chantilly.

00:42:17.340 Well, if it's, if it's, if you know about it.

00:42:19.260 If it's that beloved, okay.

00:42:20.020 If you crossed your own snobbery to get back into Whole Foods to purchase one.

00:42:24.280 I know, I know.

00:42:25.140 Okay, so there's a happy ending.

00:42:26.520 So, well, sort of.

00:42:27.920 Okay, but the point is, he goes, I'm so sorry.

00:42:30.340 I said, oh, it's not your fault, you know.

00:42:32.440 I guess I'll get something else.

00:42:34.320 I start looking at the thing.

00:42:35.860 I see a beautiful, it's called a raspberry chocolate cake.

00:42:39.920 And by the way, it looks like it costs $65.

00:42:42.640 Yeah, and by the way, good for you, by the way, not just turning on a heel because the one you heard about online.

00:42:49.240 Yeah.

00:42:49.680 It's like, you know what I mean?

00:42:50.800 No, totally.

00:42:51.720 And I look at this cake, the cake that I'm looking, this is a beautiful cake.

00:42:56.200 This is a gorgeous cake I'm looking at.

00:42:57.380 It looks, again, a specific price point, $65 cake.

00:43:01.060 It's got kind of.

00:43:02.320 Not 90.

00:43:03.100 No, no, no.

00:43:03.680 Not 39.

00:43:04.260 It's like a short one-tier circle, but it has almost like, um, like bleeding, like it's

00:43:09.040 like pink and then fuchsia and there's like a bleeding deep purple.

00:43:12.420 It looks like it's designed.

00:43:14.180 Yeah.

00:43:14.420 It's pretty.

00:43:15.260 Like it was poured.

00:43:16.220 It was poured.

00:43:17.040 It's pretty.

00:43:18.520 I go, I'll take that one.

00:43:20.740 I think it's...

00:43:21.180 You know what?

00:43:21.520 Does it have a name?

00:43:23.000 That's what I was imagining.

00:43:24.160 You know, like, you know, like how that's the Chantilly.

00:43:25.820 Does this one have a name?

00:43:28.160 I think it's priced at, I want to get this right, $28?

00:43:32.980 dollars 32 something like that he asked caked on site no way he goes um i'm not saying it matters

00:43:40.880 sorry for the mix-up we're gonna give you discount on the cake let's just call it 30 bucks how much

00:43:45.980 you think i was charged 20 six dollars no no i was like no i go well that is a discount 15 and i

00:43:56.040 didn't want to be disappointed so i went with 20 he goes that it i go that is it we had fun i was

00:44:01.600 excited free cake call it what it is it's free cake yeah when it's good when it's good between

00:44:06.280 between you and the he was fabulous transactions by the way some of the stuff of life well then i

00:44:12.540 was in such a good transaction i was in such a good mood i was elevated to be in whole foods

00:44:15.780 yeah you're talking and then i go and then the cat the checkout guy was was wonderful we had we

00:44:21.840 had a laugh amazing oh and then i had a psychedelic experience going in the elevator i was so i was

00:44:27.780 To the parking garage.

00:44:29.300 And I felt transported by the experience, the transaction.

00:44:32.720 And a guy came in.

00:44:34.920 I didn't look at my phone.

00:44:36.280 Because sometimes it's just for whatever reason you feel like you need to do armor and just like confusion.

00:44:39.800 Because it's too painful to just stand and be like.

00:44:42.880 Like an acting class exercise.

00:44:45.380 So I decided to stand and face forward.

00:44:47.600 I felt like I was on drugs.

00:44:48.460 It was genuinely psychedelic.

00:44:50.140 Because now with the digital world, you don't need drugs.

00:44:54.260 You don't need alcohol.

00:44:54.820 You actually just need to put.

00:44:56.820 You have a psychedelic.

00:44:57.780 just being

00:44:58.720 right

00:44:59.340 the majority experience

00:45:00.840 right

00:45:01.100 if the majority experience

00:45:02.400 of your consciousness

00:45:03.020 has become one thing

00:45:04.140 yeah

00:45:04.440 then the sort of

00:45:06.280 the

00:45:06.520 you know

00:45:07.100 the 20% of the time

00:45:08.260 yeah

00:45:09.200 and I'm not referencing the film

00:45:11.000 yeah

00:45:11.440 yeah

00:45:11.840 well

00:45:13.520 I've been having that with

00:45:14.940 a return to

00:45:15.980 and the cake was delicious

00:45:17.160 analog

00:45:18.120 but that's a whole episode

00:45:19.560 truly

00:45:20.260 well we have

00:45:20.960 we have to

00:45:21.440 by the way brick

00:45:22.120 I bought the brick

00:45:23.280 I love the brick

00:45:24.020 I have to brick every day

00:45:25.460 I have to brick every morning

00:45:26.500 I keep forgetting

00:45:27.040 that there's a device involved i i think i told you but i downloaded um minimal and then couldn't

00:45:33.180 undo it finally found my way what's it called but it like minimalism or minimal it was an app but

00:45:38.280 i made it so like i can only text message like like in 20 minutes a day or something so i mean

00:45:44.500 it's been like insane they're like and you can't even bypass it like i was like you know these

00:45:49.240 other things i download they're like are you sure you want to open instagram yeah okay yeah yeah

00:45:52.500 whatever whatever whatever and then but text messages is where i realized like

00:45:57.040 You know, I don't do an endless scroll sometimes,

00:45:59.260 but that's not really my thing.

00:46:00.680 I will lose my day to text messages,

00:46:02.400 and it feels completely legitimate

00:46:03.780 because you're talking about things that are in your life

00:46:06.660 that you're dealing with.

00:46:07.860 But if it is not contained, 0.98

00:46:09.940 it is, I am living in the screen all fucking day. 0.96

00:46:13.220 So I came back, okay? 0.97

00:46:15.860 It was like...

00:46:17.780 And then I was like...

00:46:19.920 What was that?

00:46:21.240 It was the psychedelic shift.

00:46:22.940 Oh, right, right.

00:46:23.600 Okay?

00:46:24.380 Like back.

00:46:25.820 And also, are you ready for this?

00:46:27.040 not carrying the phone on your person so now as in physically against you yeah and all my 0.75

00:46:32.660 shit's off like like i'm not even buzzing against me whatever okay but now i take my phone it goes 0.66

00:46:38.580 in chris's backpack because when we walk to the store he brings a backpack that's how we get the 0.92

00:46:42.160 groceries home yeah okay it goes in chris's back so i have it if for some reason i need it for

00:46:46.800 outward going but it's not just there i'm not feeling it just to grab it yeah a couple times

00:46:50.320 where I start to do it and it's like no it's not there but what I found um exciting was that there

00:46:57.220 was an effect that was immediate it was almost like so it is immediate it is immediate sobering

00:47:02.500 up and you're sober what's exactly what it is yeah and you and by the way you know it's like

00:47:06.400 you sober up and you're like suddenly we have all that you've lost well that is one of the I mean

00:47:10.380 across all self-improvement okay to to to fix something is immediately to mourn the loss all

00:47:19.140 all the time because by the way you know we talk about like losing you and me like losing time and 0.93

00:47:22.640 i've had to accept like you can you lose yours like i lose yours all the fucking time i just 0.89

00:47:28.940 like so i just came back essentially yeah i regrounded okay with some of the phone stuff 0.97

00:47:33.940 and whatever i was like i was like five years gone easily we have to go to gracias madre soon

00:47:42.580 and botanica so i never got around to saying what i was gonna say about thermoplane

00:47:52.460 you kept getting afraid do you remember so well by the way by the way huge news guess who's not

00:47:58.740 drinking water in the way one normally would think about it but i read this in shankman addd book

00:48:05.040 chugging water okay quick okay just chugging some water and then like doing like you know

00:48:11.260 five push-ups or whatever i don't do push-ups but the equivalent okay dopamine boost and back to

00:48:16.680 back to focus it actually is a recharge wow so that's helped me and i've been doing like some

00:48:22.140 water chugging time for another ad folks and let's just say we're talking about a dear and

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00:49:44.160 to lose surf shark.com slash hags anyway therm plane you ready um it's like you make this change

00:49:58.160 you're afraid again no you're not okay it's like makeup is going to sit differently

00:50:04.160 so you're gonna adjustments are gonna be likely you're you're like that's negative that's not

00:50:12.000 exciting i don't like it it's something i regret during playing that between dramatic because it's

00:50:17.000 also not it's not a serious it's not a big procedure right or it's not it's not that big

00:50:21.420 of a deal yeah me seeking reassurance it's not a big deal how would it be a big deal it's not a big

00:50:27.220 do but i just mean i don't do well with change i don't know if that's true yeah that's probably

00:50:33.740 not true i guess what i mean is just i don't want to adjust my routines of i just think like you're

00:50:40.180 like am i shiny am i shiny you're gonna be more shiny if it's not covered in hair god i'm shiny

00:50:44.420 because and again talk about what am i gonna do with my clean skin put this on my clean skin

00:50:49.460 no no but here's the thing this is what i was saying about dirty brushes and makeup right

00:50:53.020 to me it's like why are they all filthy and it's because anytime you're doing makeup

00:50:57.060 it's a short-term concern you know what i mean like makeup is kind of like i need it now

00:51:04.300 like for the it's it's for today you're never applying makeup for three days from now right

00:51:10.740 it's always a now so what do you mean you're like it's not gonna break me out during the time of

00:51:15.500 this makeup right right right and so you know there's always a to me there's this feeling of

00:51:20.820 like slapping on the makeup like who cares like you know i don't know but that's why i'm looking

00:51:27.400 to build out of vanity as another separate space we're talking about back in my life get the mirror

00:51:32.040 back in my life i'm gonna sit there i'm gonna do all my things sit on a stool went to organico last

00:51:37.920 night at 11 30 to get was hungry wait but is organico the one that i mean i know what my

00:51:46.160 organico is that what you mean yeah yeah did you used to go to organico before me no okay that's

00:51:51.480 what i'm going for and i'm excited would you call it fast food it's a fast food organic restaurant

00:51:56.740 because i ordered they're open till midnight and i already yeah you want to get organic food 0.69

00:52:01.180 11 52 because by the way okay i guess it was 10 30 yeah finished a show i was fucking hungry yeah

00:52:06.920 and i before i was like oh let's go to horses i was like that'll be so fun after my show my little 0.77

00:52:11.240 after show treat no cocktail maybe i'll try i haven't had the burger there yet get out of the

00:52:15.980 show guess what I'm tired yeah I don't want a cocktail I don't want to go to a restaurant

00:52:20.600 shockingly I want to go home did you order in advance or did you stand there at the counter

00:52:23.440 because I've never been to the counter but I'm I ordered there every day for like two months

00:52:27.780 went in organico I go I go I just want like something I just want to eat something like

00:52:32.920 healthy good everything is what we offer and I go organico we're four minutes away

00:52:39.940 they're open till midnight oh I thought you said that's a guy behind the counter like I just want

00:52:43.520 something healthy and good no no no no they're four minutes away so i would get there quinoa

00:52:48.560 no one's there kale and then a variety of other vegetables got a stir fry got a stir fry and

00:52:54.480 they're they're playing wonderful cuban music yeah everyone's friendly not a single soul is

00:52:59.520 sitting down yeah that's actually not true there was one guy there probably late 50s who was

00:53:03.900 watching best-selling stand-up clips on his phone amazing i was like i was like this is the right

00:53:08.900 place. I was kind of looking at him going, you like comedy? You like gals in comedy? You wanted

00:53:14.600 to be like brag about knowing Beth. Well, same thing. I actually texted Beth about it. This is

00:53:20.380 really cozy. The food was good. And instead of spending $862, I spent $15. So I ordered Organico

00:53:30.920 every like every day for like two months. You got me into it. Then I was ordering from another place,

00:53:37.820 ethiopian like every day for like a month and then i went in and dined there which i've done

00:53:43.680 many times in the past but after like a like maybe it was about three weeks okay like every day

00:53:51.400 okay and it was great and um and i went in to with a friend and i was like should we

00:53:59.580 like me and chris meeting a friend i'm like we tell them we're the ones oh yeah you should did

00:54:05.680 you no no i didn't want to make it about us okay we're meeting a friend it's like it's like it's

00:54:12.180 raw ale okay to be clear it's vegan ethiopian much is vegan anyway blah blah blah opened by

00:54:19.200 the person who owns i think it's like mesab next door but i was like oh i'm about to be found out

00:54:25.540 it was just too vulnerable to be like i'm the one who's ordered every single day the feast

00:54:31.680 which is what it's called

00:54:32.760 you know

00:54:33.480 every day for

00:54:34.480 what's in it

00:54:34.980 I'm hungry

00:54:36.020 you know

00:54:36.380 a series of

00:54:37.200 do you get the yeasty bread thing

00:54:38.620 yeah

00:54:39.420 so good

00:54:40.060 you have to

00:54:40.520 that's what it comes in

00:54:41.500 yeah that's what you're

00:54:41.880 it's so good

00:54:42.600 and then to go

00:54:43.180 it's folded

00:54:43.760 you know

00:54:44.260 up on itself

00:54:44.980 yum

00:54:45.400 and it's

00:54:46.680 mmm

00:54:47.500 yeah

00:54:50.800 it's so good

00:54:52.080 but you know

00:54:52.440 the red lentil

00:54:53.360 the split pea

00:54:54.540 the yellow

00:54:55.200 so good

00:54:56.540 the cabbage

00:54:57.180 and the potato

00:54:57.700 the pickled little things

00:54:59.340 one anecdote

00:54:59.900 about

00:55:00.740 service

00:55:01.640 it was interesting okay it was one of these last night chris and i go to the movies i go i want

00:55:06.120 popcorn okay i go let's get in line chris amc yeah chris escorts me i was in the wrong line

00:55:13.340 escorts you to the right line no to the faster line to the we are amc members whatever line

00:55:19.880 god okay i know this one yeah yeah you know business accounts we get in we get in we go there

00:55:24.420 okay i go i go now i'm looking i'm thinking about what i want and what the experience is going to

00:55:27.700 be i say to chris you know in advance i go i go let's get two regular popcorns regular versus

00:55:33.580 oh size meaning yeah okay regular and that what that is is is the bag yeah okay we go up to the

00:55:40.660 and i said that to him in advance for a reason because i had worked out a few ideas okay i'm

00:55:45.500 having as i always do an emotional response to movie theaters yeah and that they're so and i

00:55:49.700 went to the movies three days in a row last week yeah haven't done that since i was probably 16

00:55:54.080 Was it AMC?

00:55:55.100 No, out of town.

00:55:56.300 Okay.

00:55:56.500 Hitting up movie theaters.

00:55:57.900 Incredible.

00:55:58.880 Exclusively with people over 60.

00:56:00.420 Did you do the thing where you go, I should do this literally every night?

00:56:01.940 Every, well, I go movie.

00:56:03.300 Like for, we went through a period, I think it was the early days of, remember that thing

00:56:07.360 where it was like, the deal was insane?

00:56:09.840 There was a crazy AMC.

00:56:10.860 I've never been a part of a club.

00:56:12.100 No, it was pre-AMC, but there was this time period where I like.

00:56:14.240 Oh, Stubbs or whatever?

00:56:15.220 No, that's still AMC.

00:56:16.600 It was like, I can't believe it was a master class, but it wasn't, but it was movie pass.

00:56:20.300 I don't know.

00:56:20.660 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:56:21.600 I never did that.

00:56:22.840 We did like a, we go to the movies every night.

00:56:25.180 It was insane in New York, 72nd Street.

00:56:29.080 Anyway.

00:56:30.280 I'm just the popcorn.

00:56:30.920 Now we go to the Grove.

00:56:32.000 So I'm like, I want popcorn.

00:56:33.340 I want that.

00:56:33.900 Yeah.

00:56:34.480 We go up to the line.

00:56:35.380 I go, two regular popcorns, please.

00:56:37.160 Yeah.

00:56:37.940 Wouldn't you rather just get, okay, the classic, right?

00:56:40.040 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:56:40.500 Wouldn't you rather just get the large, which is a round bucket.

00:56:43.580 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:56:43.900 Okay, I have nothing, I have a problem with the bucket.

00:56:45.240 Yeah, you just want the experience of your own private bag.

00:56:47.240 Yeah, I don't want to be passing it back and forth.

00:56:48.840 Yeah.

00:56:49.380 Okay, I don't want it between us.

00:56:50.760 How much is a regular popcorn these days?

00:56:52.160 I don't even look $8.99 I don't look yeah okay I wave okay yeah but like no so no clue did not

00:57:00.460 look okay right I just sort of know I'm like no it's going to be insane and I don't sure of course

00:57:04.640 so thus begins the you should get the large from the person right and I'm like I just really want

00:57:12.320 the two bags of regular yeah and then well if you get the large you can pour it into the you can pour

00:57:20.000 into this box they have these boxes that are just sure boxes that you put your nachos in 0.96

00:57:25.200 paper paper nacho like it's such a hot dog to see little women amazing at the arc light

00:57:32.920 which is if you're not right you have your stall you have your stall my special salt the arc light

00:57:39.880 actually had a huge stall experience but but so the box right you can you can pour it and that

00:57:45.620 box to me is different experience not meant for food itself it's meant to hold food packages

00:57:49.980 Yeah.

00:57:50.360 So it's like, who knows what's in there?

00:57:51.320 But who cares?

00:57:51.780 That's not even what it's about.

00:57:52.640 Okay.

00:57:52.980 You can pour it in and then I can refill it.

00:57:54.860 I can refill the other one.

00:57:56.080 But refill the bucket?

00:57:57.100 Yeah, immediately.

00:57:57.880 Okay.

00:57:58.580 But you're in the middle of the movie?

00:58:00.100 No, she was offering to do it right then, basically.

00:58:02.480 Okay.

00:58:03.040 So she's trying to really give you a deal here.

00:58:04.720 Yeah.

00:58:05.080 Yeah.

00:58:05.500 But you want your bag.

00:58:07.300 I go, no, I'm good.

00:58:08.440 I just really want the regular.

00:58:09.720 Okay.

00:58:09.920 And Chris is like, I'm happy to, I'll have it out of the bucket.

00:58:12.660 I mean, not out of the bucket.

00:58:13.640 To me, like, I'll do the box.

00:58:15.100 I'll do the, yeah, yeah, okay.

00:58:16.060 You know, because usually I am about quantity, right?

00:58:18.440 By the way, the story is just really nourishing.

00:58:20.620 No.

00:58:20.900 Okay.

00:58:21.220 I'm like, I don't want you to do the box.

00:58:23.880 I'm like, I don't want you to do the box.

00:58:25.820 And then I'm like, I might be crazy.

00:58:28.980 No, I'm like, can we all indulge me?

00:58:31.920 I was like, I'm crazy.

00:58:34.380 Can we all indulge me?

00:58:35.780 I don't want that.

00:58:36.660 And also, what about like wanting limits?

00:58:39.240 Of course.

00:58:39.720 First of all, like, you know, like, I'll give you the double vodka for the same price.

00:58:43.520 I want one drink.

00:58:44.500 You know, whatever.

00:58:46.060 But it was, it was like, and Chris, you know, immediately when, when I was like, I just

00:58:50.160 And the people in the back, holding up the line.

00:58:52.100 Okay, there was like no line.

00:58:53.360 No one gets a snack anymore.

00:58:54.680 Yeah.

00:58:55.280 Okay, so, so one of the ugliest things in the world that me and Chris ever witnessed

00:58:59.800 in at BAM, uh, seeing, um, something in New York.

00:59:05.380 At the end of the movie, someone with, with a plastic bag of baby carrots saying to their

00:59:09.360 friend, you know, Brooklyn, I couldn't finish my baby carrots.

00:59:13.100 Do you want to take these home?

00:59:14.200 Okay.

00:59:15.480 Yeah.

00:59:15.660 Cinema's dead.

00:59:17.220 Yeah, yeah.

00:59:17.780 All right.

00:59:18.020 So Chris gets that I've, you know, he immediately, okay.

00:59:23.440 She's still going.

00:59:25.000 She's still pitching you on it.

00:59:26.360 I have to go, like, I'm crazy.

00:59:27.920 You know, indulge my whims, right?

00:59:29.460 Whatever.

00:59:30.520 And then we walk away, and I'm like, it's like.

00:59:34.580 So she finally caves.

00:59:35.980 She goes, okay.

00:59:36.600 But she's still, like, still going, like, I don't get it.

00:59:40.400 I get it, yeah.

00:59:41.980 Wow.

00:59:42.860 How much was it?

00:59:43.440 Do you remember?

00:59:44.000 I want to know.

00:59:44.360 No, I never, never processed that.

00:59:46.320 And then, and I'm like, I'm like, Chris, this is, I want two bags.

00:59:50.200 Yeah.

00:59:50.440 Chris, I want two bags.

00:59:51.160 I want me in my bag, you in your bag.

00:59:52.620 Yeah, you don't want a bucket and a trough.

00:59:54.440 And I was like, and this is what I envisioned.

00:59:55.940 Like, this has dignity.

00:59:56.840 I'm like, you could also like give me more.

00:59:58.700 I go, we could, I go, we go to Ralph's and get two tons of popcorn for the same month. 1.00

01:00:03.520 We could eat it out of my ass. 1.00

01:00:05.400 That's another way to do it. 1.00

01:00:06.580 You know what I mean?

01:00:07.000 Like, it's like, I'm paying for a particular experience.

01:00:09.560 Yeah. 0.99

01:00:10.260 And it was, and I just really felt like I'm going, am I the asshole? 1.00

01:00:13.960 You know, like there was a lot of it by the asshole. 0.99

01:00:17.320 And then we got in there, finished it so early. 1.00

01:00:19.800 It was heaven.

01:00:20.740 I love that.

01:00:21.700 But we have to go to movies constantly.

01:00:24.020 Yeah.

01:00:25.040 Well, yeah.

01:00:25.960 And when you're when you are the AMC member, I would love to be sponsored by them.

01:00:30.440 Ooh.

01:00:31.000 OK.

01:00:31.700 And they've been doing this thing where they're replaying Silence is Golden, like the old.

01:00:35.360 They're really they're aware.

01:00:36.680 OK, they know they know what their own nostalgia is and I'm loving it.

01:00:39.580 I'd love that as a.

01:00:41.260 What do you think?

01:00:41.580 I have a really, really quick question for you.

01:00:43.540 It took my mother to see A Complete Unknown.

01:00:45.600 Yes, haven't caught it.

01:00:47.400 Really, really, I'm telling you, Timothy.

01:00:50.720 Nails it.

01:00:51.340 Timote, Timmy.

01:00:52.580 Yeah.

01:00:53.140 He's channeling.

01:00:53.760 He's a channeler.

01:00:54.500 And I've been saying, I mean, he's, I'm not trying to say that.

01:00:56.660 By the way.

01:00:56.940 It's an original thought.

01:00:57.740 He's widely adored.

01:00:58.760 He's an interstellar.

01:00:59.780 But he's a complete channeler.

01:01:00.660 And I forgot.

01:01:01.380 Yeah.

01:01:02.060 He's in the sun.

01:01:02.920 Because he was the sun.

01:01:04.660 He's very young in that.

01:01:05.880 He's a channeler.

01:01:07.500 Really fun to take my mother.

01:01:09.680 Question for you, really quick.

01:01:10.700 It's at Lemley.

01:01:11.180 what do you think this was small movie theater i mean you know like not not the most small can get

01:01:16.320 but not as small as twister that we went to but pretty small yeah selecting the seats never seen

01:01:21.760 this you know there's a weird section like the past the back five rows then the four rows three

01:01:27.100 are x'd out but you can't sit there not because they're occupied what's that x'd out on the map

01:01:33.320 yeah he goes so we go two tickets please he goes here's the map choose your seats

01:01:37.700 back row there might be 10 or so seats that are x'd out at random points or like sections

01:01:44.440 back row and then like boom boom boom like kind of like see i'm wondering if the map

01:01:49.120 is sort of standard and that and that particular theater didn't actually have those seats

01:01:54.040 i didn't so here's what happened because i go oh huh all right choose two we go in there

01:02:00.240 my mom wants to sit at the back so i go why don't we just sit here and if i think they weren't

01:02:06.020 They weren't like disability seats, but they were like,

01:02:09.080 I don't know what it was, but I was like, 0.99

01:02:10.160 if someone comes in here in easy seats, we'll just move.

01:02:12.340 By the way, cortisol levels through the roof,

01:02:14.400 the nerves I felt if I'm sitting in someone's seat, my obedience.

01:02:17.700 Well, was it a pretty packed theater?

01:02:20.320 No.

01:02:21.120 Oh, interesting.

01:02:21.660 And I really noticed it.

01:02:22.820 I had to do deep breathing, Jacqueline.

01:02:24.140 Did every single person who walk in,

01:02:25.440 you look at with an expression of like,

01:02:27.140 if this is yours, I'm telling you,

01:02:29.340 I had to do deep breathing to release it.

01:02:32.340 Once the movie started, I still had to go.

01:02:33.960 I had to release

01:02:35.920 I had to do

01:02:36.700 eight counts of

01:02:37.480 breath out

01:02:38.340 because I was so spiked

01:02:40.100 I'm in trouble

01:02:40.840 no because my mom

01:02:42.440 we wanted to sit

01:02:43.200 back back back

01:02:43.900 back here

01:02:44.360 why were the seats

01:02:45.740 we just grabbed B12

01:02:46.760 and B13

01:02:47.300 and keep it moving

01:02:48.040 alright well anyway

01:02:48.760 by the way

01:02:49.460 that was the first row

01:02:50.620 I'm just saying

01:02:51.300 because you know

01:02:51.900 we go from our front

01:02:52.980 I can't believe it

01:02:53.600 okay we gotta go

01:02:54.480 love you

01:02:54.900 love you

01:03:03.960 Guess what, listeners, it's Jacqueline Novak here to let you know that I am doing what's called Hopping the Pond, and I'm bringing my comedy to Europe. Yes, indeed, yours truly. I'm packing my bags. I'm heading from New York to London, to Paris, to Amsterdam, to Dublin, and who knows where after that. Five cities, one me.

01:03:21.800 This weekend, I'll be at the Bell House in Brooklyn for two shows that, wow, sold out during the pre-sale.

01:03:26.960 My God, thank you, mailing list.

01:03:28.780 Angels, you know who you are.

01:03:30.340 London, I'll be taking over the Soho Theater for a whopping ten nights.

01:03:33.700 From March 11th to the 22nd, that is Tuesdays through Saturdays.

01:03:37.300 Please, get your tickets now at jokesnovac.com.

01:03:40.220 Next, I'll be continuing my European adventure with several shows that have not been formally announced.

01:03:44.980 That's why I'm letting you guys know, so you do not miss them.

01:03:47.560 Paris, March 25th.

01:03:48.800 5th. Mes amis, j'espère que tu attend. Amsterdam. March 27th. Indeed, I've never been there and

01:03:58.280 yet there I'll be. Dublin. March 31st. Oh my god, do you want first dibs on tickets? Well,

01:04:05.120 much like the fabulous people that sold out the shows in New York, you should join my mailing

01:04:09.640 list at jokesnovac.com and I'll personally send you the pre-sale info you need. Very excited to

01:04:16.160 See you guys in the audience, excited for this last-minute tour.

Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - March 04, 2025

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