Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - A Very Small Big Dipper

00:00:00.000 For Berlant and Novak listeners, Cure is offering 20% off your first order.

00:00:04.600 Stay hydrated and feel your best by visiting curehydration.com slash hags and using promo code hags at checkout.

00:00:10.820 That's curehydration.com slash hags, H-A-G-S, and use code hags for 20% off your first order.

00:00:20.380 Two best friends, both alike in dignity.

00:00:23.040 Nurturing phantoms and courting the muse. 1.00

00:00:25.300 The hag divines when something must die. 0.99

00:00:27.640 Yes, that was Poog. 0.97

00:00:28.640 but this is huge. 0.87

00:00:30.340 The ego loves to seek

00:00:31.700 but never to find.

00:00:33.160 It was Berlant and Novak

00:00:34.720 the whole time.

00:00:38.620 Hi.

00:00:39.380 Look, by the way,

00:00:39.960 remember when you were using

00:00:40.820 a pen that looked a lot like this

00:00:41.920 but you were using

00:00:42.580 the ballpoint version

00:00:43.340 and this is the fountain pen version

00:00:45.180 that's all I'll say. 0.99

00:00:45.940 Holy shit. 0.99

00:00:47.140 How about this? 0.99

00:00:48.280 I might have to.

00:00:49.360 Can't imagine.

00:00:50.080 Take.

00:00:50.940 Take.

00:00:51.380 Don't tell me.

00:00:52.260 Do you want the next word?

00:00:53.360 Yes.

00:00:53.880 The.

00:00:54.660 Oh.

00:00:55.500 That's close.

00:00:56.500 Okay.

00:00:57.040 I might have to take a

00:00:58.620 a trip to go seabobbing with me okay yes but i might have to take a 22 hour flight oh australia

00:01:10.840 australia to london and i'm actually in it it's i might not this is like something it might not

00:01:18.660 happen or whatever but it's like enough to make me not do the trip you know what i mean you mean

00:01:23.740 break it up 22 hours so i guess it's always it's not straight there's always a layover

00:01:29.080 no i think a 22 hour flight means a flight kate a plane can fly for 22 hours so i get off my

00:01:35.420 my personality is permanently altered i'm a different person i mean if they told you if

00:01:39.460 they said the words 22 hour flight then yeah 22 hour flight i think it was 22 hours and 30 minutes

00:01:44.340 or something i was like i mean i i i'd love it honey it ain't first okay i mean you just to say

00:01:52.140 I would be paying for it.

00:01:53.740 Because it would be, what would first cost?

00:01:56.300 15K?

00:01:56.880 Literally 62K.

00:01:59.820 It's amazing that like, just like first London, I was looking at the other day.

00:02:03.460 5K, what?

00:02:04.560 It's like, yeah, it's like three, it depends, but it's like, it was like three to six or

00:02:08.380 something, you know what I mean?

00:02:09.420 And it's just like, it's a lot.

00:02:11.640 How about you make every seat first class?

00:02:13.580 Well, it's just for humanity.

00:02:15.180 I mean, like we used to say, Pouguer, first class all the way to the back.

00:02:18.940 Pouguer will be huge.

00:02:19.940 i mastered time i'm looking to tell you about at some point okay took me a month to understand

00:02:25.320 that if you sleep eight hours there's 16 hours left with which to work i mean not work huh

00:02:31.560 to live yeah then break that up and go what do we want to do with that i never knew that 16 hour

00:02:36.700 day is that what it is you sleep eight hours as we know eight hours not enough for me i need nine 0.98

00:02:41.580 right but i'll hand i'll take you break up 15 often so you'd have 15 left to fuck with to make 0.87

00:02:47.060 at 14 oh and then i saw this thing that was like six seven eight they were like six hours work 0.99

00:02:50.920 seven seven hours sleep no it doesn't make sense i don't know like nine fuck it i don't know but 0.57

00:02:56.300 it was interesting and it was like it was like anyway go on you're about to say something but 0.77

00:03:00.620 i'll tell you about time after well i don't know it's rather involved but i i think it could be

00:03:05.740 huge i uh what was it gonna be what you had something no anyway hello by the way great to

00:03:12.880 see you great to see you it's been years always great to see you i'm thrilled that we're doing

00:03:15.440 ice coffee again so what about this do you think this looks cool oh yeah i'm sorry i i quick thing

00:03:25.000 yeah bit of a tuna mystery what do you make of this tuna what a word or it's tuna ortiz yeah

00:03:32.140 i don't know actually you don't know i think it's ortiz for sure very fine i think it's a spanish

00:03:37.480 brand gorgeous canned tuna this is the can is pretty yeah and the reds the yellow ten dollars

00:03:42.680 a can yeah which is very expensive yeah okay yeah i steal it from my mom sometimes from her i don't 0.91

00:03:51.340 from the home she well i went to my parents house she had a fucking stack she bought she bought in 0.99

00:03:55.620 bulk or something yeah i go can i cop a couple of your fucking ortiz's what do they call it's funny 0.99

00:04:01.880 how you think someone else having a bulk of something sort of means that it's extra it's 0.98

00:04:07.440 interesting idea it's like but they paid for those i know it's like but you have so many

00:04:13.220 because i bought them i have a deficiency in my bank account equal to having bought that

00:04:17.380 there's an assumption i mean it's like because you have so many it's huge my dad said like like 0.66

00:04:21.500 back in the fucking 70s or something okay or 80 i forget you had a front pocket i've told you this 0.80

00:04:26.660 probably what empty cigarette pat with one no and then your real cigarettes in the back and then 0.97

00:04:30.980 hey can i get a cigarette man and the last one oh wow i've never heard that okay so i go to the

00:04:35.600 grocery store is it Ortiz I have to know Ortiz okay so I go to the grocery store Ortiz cans of 0.95

00:04:43.880 tuna I see it there let's call it 10.99 10 bucks I go god damn I guess I'll get one this is insane 0.95

00:04:50.700 next to it cheap bastard I know next to it I suffer I don't know you have the cash okay so 0.97

00:04:55.660 next to it Ortiz 7.99 next to it yeah I go same thing what I mean there's a difference I'm waiting 0.97

00:05:03.500 for it here's the difference can't wait what so here's the original water both have olive oil

00:05:08.040 which is what i love okay olive oil you're sitting down one has organic olive oil and here's where

00:05:15.420 the here's where your chair gives out that one was less expensive all right hold on okay are you

00:05:23.080 hearing this? Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Ortiz, $10, tuna and olive oil. I need to

00:05:31.020 understand. Ortiz, tuna and organic olive oil, $7.99. I go, I look at the labels. Yeah. I took

00:05:40.340 a picture of it because I was so. So let me, let me think about this for a second. You're paying

00:05:43.620 for the pesticides? Feels like I went crazy. Right? I got, I got two cans. Dirty olive oil

00:05:48.540 is cheaper. That's the idea. See what I'm saying? Dirty olive oil. This is an interesting

00:05:52.760 idea. What? What? The organic olive oil is cheaper. I know. That's what I'm saying. I'm

00:05:57.360 trying to understand what that is saying. I'll never understand. That the pesticides

00:06:01.980 olive oil cost more because we keep the bugs off it. Right, right, right. By the way, like

00:06:09.700 my father had no fucking clue that like, you know, he sees local and whatever. Yeah. Getting 0.98

00:06:16.340 fooled at whole foods like like greenwashing people yeah yeah just like well the locals real

00:06:22.080 it might be local it might be local pesticides so right right it's just like him thinking it's

00:06:27.780 like all the same language i don't understand the organic because by the organic you don't

00:06:31.600 buy everything organic whatever i believe almonds are one of the most heavily sprayed

00:06:35.800 things right like you really want to get almonds um organic you wouldn't know this but i guess

00:06:39.920 that's the case actually what you wouldn't know is that i'm not allergic of course i always get 0.97

00:06:44.120 this fucked up with you. 0.99

00:06:45.140 Yes. 0.98

00:06:45.440 I always basically,

00:06:46.160 okay.

00:06:47.160 My other friend,

00:06:47.800 I got a,

00:06:48.180 she's allergic to shellfish. 0.58

00:06:49.520 Like always.

00:06:49.900 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:06:50.440 Nope.

00:06:50.940 I got,

00:06:51.940 so almond butter

00:06:53.160 costs a pretty penny,

00:06:54.780 right?

00:06:55.100 Sure does.

00:06:55.440 Here's a jar of almond butter,

00:06:56.340 organic almond butter.

00:06:57.020 Sprouted.

00:06:57.500 There's one brand

00:06:58.340 that's like 28 bucks.

00:06:59.960 Yeah, it's so crazy.

00:07:01.400 There's a,

00:07:01.660 so we got a,

00:07:02.940 I mean,

00:07:03.140 there's a reason.

00:07:03.660 A tub,

00:07:04.140 you know,

00:07:05.140 this big.

00:07:05.880 Yeah.

00:07:06.240 From Whole Foods.

00:07:08.000 Smooth almond butter.

00:07:09.540 No additives.

00:07:10.360 Okay.

00:07:11.300 This almond butter

00:07:12.200 had me on all fours barking like a seal moaning yeah i don't know why it was so good i looked at

00:07:19.560 the back what is this palm oil sugar just almonds yeah yeah blanched almonds what why is this the

00:07:26.580 best almond butter i've ever had so well this is why it's not organic so i go so i go and it's

00:07:31.000 cheaper so what i do do i just get it why would the organic one not be as tasty well i mean

00:07:38.020 same reason when they launched um the new you know heath bar crunch with they're no longer 0.97

00:07:46.860 using you know hershey's or whatever and they're using some organic chocolate tastes like fucking 0.98

00:07:50.460 shit god damn by the way you know what i had friend came over it doesn't taste like my memory 0.99

00:07:54.580 a friend came over brought ben and jerry's ice cream a pint of it dirt dairy free no no because 0.99

00:08:00.800 they've got it now they finally did it yeah it's not good it's pretty good all right i mean dirt

00:08:06.420 cake kind of never had i go what is that dirt cake i go this is obscene i go oh right i haven't 0.98

00:08:14.200 been down we talked about ben and jerry's jerry garcia a while back a fucked up child bacchanalia 0.93

00:08:20.460 dirt cake yes cookies and cream but more like it was crazy i was like good it was unbelievable yeah 0.95

00:08:27.400 i do know what's crazy i ate it that night the next day my the lymphatic massage healer lady

00:08:33.880 came over, Michelle.

00:08:35.980 And she touched my hip, literally.

00:08:38.020 And she goes, did you have too much chocolate?

00:08:41.080 She's like, too much chocolate.

00:08:42.440 And I forgot about the dirt cake. 0.60

00:08:43.860 Imagine, by the way, you're like, she's incredible.

00:08:45.740 There's just like a ring of chocolate around your mouth.

00:08:48.620 No, but Julie, she goes, chocolate.

00:08:50.740 And I felt myself protecting the dirt cake

00:08:52.480 because I was like, but I do eat chocolate.

00:08:54.000 I love chocolate.

00:08:54.480 I was like, I do love chocolate.

00:08:55.580 I do eat chocolate.

00:08:56.620 She goes, like, too much chocolate.

00:08:57.960 Like last night, what did you get?

00:08:58.960 And you're like, I know.

00:09:00.620 I was like, I've never had that.

00:09:01.500 She sensed the dirt cake.

00:09:03.880 she did or there's a vegan ice cream bar i like that's mocha oh yeah let me guess

00:09:08.740 it's white no it's coconut package is white yeah black and green almond fudge nope oh wait the

00:09:13.500 second is the mocha no change change on me the thing is mocha almond fudge coconut ice cream

00:09:17.460 dipped there's mocha swirls dipped in chocolate shell i'm hungry obviously with almond crunch

00:09:24.140 love crunch bren and jerry's has always raised a huge uh question for me which is because i

00:09:31.900 remember you know i felt like early days fish food yeah but but it was like you know the difference

00:09:41.180 the ben and jerry's difference was like they didn't hold back on toppings right or mix-ins

00:09:45.360 right they were like you're like you might stumble upon half a whole recess yeah and it creates this

00:09:51.360 experience where you know i used to be like oh i'm digging for gold you know what i mean right

00:09:56.780 right right and it creates this experience where the ice cream itself the body of the ice cream

00:10:00.960 becomes like

00:10:02.040 plain trash 0.99

00:10:03.360 it becomes nothing 0.99

00:10:05.200 that you're trying

00:10:06.100 to just get through

00:10:06.700 like you're like

00:10:07.080 no

00:10:07.520 the ice cream

00:10:11.540 becomes the baseline

00:10:12.380 when imagine

00:10:13.380 it's the 1800s

00:10:14.760 okay

00:10:15.060 and someone turns up

00:10:16.080 ice cream

00:10:16.320 the first time

00:10:16.800 you taste vanilla ice cream

00:10:17.780 playing

00:10:17.980 cold

00:10:19.020 delicious

00:10:19.800 creamy

00:10:20.260 I want to go to Antico

00:10:21.280 it ruins

00:10:22.260 it

00:10:22.660 it takes away

00:10:24.400 it makes

00:10:26.740 ice cream

00:10:27.540 itself

00:10:28.040 the negative

00:10:29.320 and the candy

00:10:30.280 and the drug

00:10:30.820 That's true.

00:10:31.440 You know what I'm thinking of?

00:10:32.380 Something that you said also a million years ago,

00:10:34.200 because dirty martinis,

00:10:36.200 that when people go dirty martini, extra dirty,

00:10:38.740 which I used to do, right?

00:10:39.660 Yeah. 0.89

00:10:39.780 I think I was extra dirty, filthy. 0.75

00:10:41.940 Yeah, yeah. 0.94

00:10:42.960 It's for a child.

00:10:44.420 Oh. 0.60

00:10:44.740 Like you're like hysterical.

00:10:46.280 You want more olive juice.

00:10:46.960 It's masking the, you know, it's like,

00:10:48.720 it's cool.

00:10:49.380 Masking the alcohol.

00:10:50.020 Dirty martini, extra dirty if you can. 0.71

00:10:51.680 Yeah, make it filthy. 0.98

00:10:53.280 Olive hound.

00:10:54.280 Yeah, and it's like,

00:10:55.380 no, no, no, that's easier to drink.

00:10:57.640 That's hysterical.

00:10:58.740 That's not the stronger.

00:11:00.200 Yeah.

00:11:00.820 Look at me.

00:11:01.720 I said that?

00:11:02.420 You said that.

00:11:04.020 You did that.

00:11:05.480 Look.

00:11:06.260 What are you making?

00:11:07.020 Stairway to hell or Stairway to heaven?

00:11:08.660 Yeah.

00:11:08.680 It depends.

00:11:09.980 You want to just see my journal real quick?

00:11:11.280 Are you curious?

00:11:11.980 It's a big.

00:11:12.900 It is big.

00:11:13.280 What is this?

00:11:13.660 A big B5 or something?

00:11:14.880 Okay.

00:11:15.180 Stelogy.

00:11:16.240 Looks nice.

00:11:16.520 Editor series and a glorious.

00:11:18.340 A little something on the front.

00:11:19.440 A little chocolate there?

00:11:20.340 Yeah.

00:11:21.320 Oh, guess what I'm doing?

00:11:22.600 Yeah.

00:11:23.180 Three days paying out of pocket for methodology.

00:11:26.000 What is that again?

00:11:26.780 Here's the one. 0.61

00:11:27.140 I heard a...

00:11:28.140 By the way, here's an ad.

00:11:30.420 So...

00:11:30.620 So pay us after.

00:11:31.840 Not being paid, but pay me after, please.

00:11:33.540 Also, I'm rabid for it.

00:11:34.740 Tell me now.

00:11:35.040 Okay, so listen to this.

00:11:35.500 It sounds familiar.

00:11:36.220 At my gym.

00:11:36.960 Okay. 0.67

00:11:38.540 Supermodel.

00:11:39.080 Yeah.

00:11:39.680 A literal one? 1.00

00:11:40.780 I mean, she does model. 0.98

00:11:41.940 You confirmed.

00:11:42.480 Oh, oh, oh, yeah.

00:11:43.780 Gorgeous woman. 1.00

00:11:46.020 Tits out. 0.99

00:11:46.660 I forgot we went to the same gym.

00:11:48.000 Yeah.

00:11:48.620 In the changing room, right?

00:11:50.580 I love being at the girls are talking. 0.76

00:11:52.100 The girls are talking.

00:11:52.700 Well, what did I tell you?

00:11:53.660 What did I tell you?

00:11:54.180 That's like my community, right?

00:11:54.980 So the girls are talking, and someone's like, Sakara.

00:11:57.880 All I think, yeah. 0.99

00:11:58.640 and then the supermodel goes 0.95

00:12:00.520 I love methodology

00:12:01.740 I note this

00:12:03.380 I internalize this information

00:12:04.940 I'm on my phone

00:12:06.940 scrolling, scrolling

00:12:07.580 and I'd seen these ads

00:12:08.880 that come in glass jars

00:12:09.880 you know

00:12:10.180 and I went

00:12:10.480 ooh, methodology

00:12:11.140 and then I go

00:12:12.400 huh

00:12:13.440 and you know

00:12:14.060 starting a job

00:12:15.140 eh

00:12:15.800 I was like

00:12:16.320 would that be kind of fun

00:12:17.020 for three days

00:12:17.520 let's see

00:12:17.780 because I'm always like

00:12:18.320 meal plans

00:12:18.700 I don't like that

00:12:19.260 because I do like to cook

00:12:20.160 but I just feel like

00:12:20.860 it's like

00:12:21.200 it's gonna be wasteful

00:12:22.500 it's sexist

00:12:23.220 but also like

00:12:23.700 what if I don't like it

00:12:25.000 and then I'm cooking anyway

00:12:26.000 ugh

00:12:26.600 like how good is it gonna be

00:12:28.200 I just, I need good food, you know?

00:12:29.820 It's just like, I was like, I can't.

00:12:32.020 And I go, why not?

00:12:32.780 Three-day experiment for fun, right?

00:12:36.900 I ordered it.

00:12:37.980 Oh my God, is it here yet?

00:12:39.540 I'm getting here.

00:12:40.120 By the way, I'm going to add.

00:12:41.740 I'm actually using Swab, if you can believe it.

00:12:44.120 You'll never believe what's in my hair.

00:12:45.420 Guess.

00:12:45.780 It comes on Monday.

00:12:46.840 Swab.

00:12:47.140 I have another way.

00:12:48.000 This is a further methodology.

00:12:49.460 Add incredible customer service.

00:12:50.900 Really?

00:12:51.020 And that's all.

00:12:51.400 Yeah.

00:12:51.860 So here's my question.

00:12:53.640 This is, I mean, this is crazy.

00:12:55.020 I'm sorry, but this is crazy.

00:12:56.340 Okay, again, we will be sending this.

00:12:57.740 Direct to corporate.

00:12:58.640 And I got the vegan one.

00:12:59.800 You'll be happy to know.

00:13:00.420 Well, here's my question.

00:13:01.620 How do they handle specific restrictions?

00:13:03.780 Here's what they have.

00:13:04.460 Here are the options.

00:13:05.180 Like with nut.

00:13:06.560 You can do vegan seafood.

00:13:08.040 You can do meat.

00:13:09.100 No, I'm asking about nut.

00:13:10.240 Oh, I don't know.

00:13:10.900 I'm sure they figure that out.

00:13:12.100 Do they?

00:13:12.580 Did you get a sense for that?

00:13:13.320 I didn't look into it due to not having a nut sensitivity, and I apologize.

00:13:17.560 But I'm sure.

00:13:19.380 I mean, you think they'd have to.

00:13:20.600 It's a meal service, yeah.

00:13:21.720 Yeah.

00:13:22.440 But sometimes they go like—

00:13:24.180 I'm tempted to read off my menu.

00:13:25.600 I'm tempted to read off my menu to you, but I won't.

00:13:27.740 They have to pay for that.

00:13:29.160 Yeah.

00:13:29.700 That's coming on Monday.

00:13:30.680 Oh, my God.

00:13:31.760 I'm still on the Instapot, by the way.

00:13:33.980 I still kind of want that.

00:13:35.100 Every day.

00:13:35.740 You know what I do? 0.59

00:13:36.800 Take a whole spaghetti squash, stab, stab, stab, drop it in. 0.57

00:13:40.440 No. 0.99

00:13:40.740 Boom. 0.98

00:13:41.020 Stop.

00:13:41.320 Hole.

00:13:41.900 But then what?

00:13:43.140 Then you pull it a hole, cuts right through, open it up, take it out.

00:13:46.540 Oh, nothing else is in there but the spaghetti squash.

00:13:48.840 And a little cup of water thrown at the bottom.

00:13:51.240 Okay.

00:13:51.660 I'm just cooking it real quick.

00:13:52.180 By the way, by the way.

00:13:53.020 Throw an apple in there.

00:13:53.740 I might buy an Instapot, like, tomorrow.

00:13:55.800 Well, by the way, you needn't be afraid, okay?

00:13:58.860 It's absolutely life-changing.

00:14:00.080 A hundred bucks?

00:14:01.220 Don't recall, don't care.

00:14:02.480 I think it was like, it's not a hugely expensive item.

00:14:06.460 No, and you don't have to be afraid like you think you do.

00:14:09.600 How are you cleaning it?

00:14:10.200 Talk to me about cleaning it.

00:14:11.440 So easy.

00:14:12.560 It's just a pot.

00:14:13.580 It comes out.

00:14:14.320 You just clean the pot. 1.00

00:14:15.760 Holy shit. 1.00

00:14:16.560 So I'm on like two a day with this thing, okay? 0.99

00:14:18.800 I make my oats in there.

00:14:21.440 That's exciting.

00:14:22.140 Oh, my God.

00:14:23.000 You know what I got into?

00:14:23.640 Stooka-dots, barley.

00:14:25.440 buckwheat

00:14:26.280 in an emergency

00:14:27.160 a raspberry

00:14:28.040 you know what my emergency food is

00:14:29.680 and lentils

00:14:30.240 yeah

00:14:30.520 purely Elizabeth

00:14:31.280 I've already had this

00:14:32.440 purely Elizabeth 0.98

00:14:34.000 she makes like granola and stuff 1.00

00:14:35.880 oh yeah

00:14:36.300 but it's like

00:14:36.900 you know

00:14:37.640 purely Elizabeth 0.98

00:14:38.460 instant oatmeal

00:14:40.720 cup

00:14:41.520 like one of these

00:14:43.020 yeah

00:14:43.880 well one of the great joys of life

00:14:45.180 is pouring hot water

00:14:45.880 and closing it

00:14:46.520 you know what I used to do

00:14:47.280 to make my cup of noodles

00:14:48.340 better than others

00:14:49.020 what

00:14:49.260 lay a book on top of it

00:14:51.180 I put a plate on top

00:14:52.020 I decanted it out

00:14:53.640 makes all the different

00:14:54.080 cause here's a question

00:14:54.900 they don't come

00:14:56.580 right

00:14:56.860 but they don't come with

00:14:58.000 I'm talking like

00:14:58.500 I'm 7th grade

00:14:59.100 I have a couple noodles

00:14:59.780 every day

00:15:00.360 I probably would have been

00:15:01.580 4 inches taller

00:15:02.880 I probably would have been

00:15:04.000 4 inches taller

00:15:04.740 if I didn't

00:15:06.100 the sodium

00:15:06.680 the whatever

00:15:07.200 you know what I mean

00:15:07.740 but it was so delicious

00:15:08.880 I can smell it

00:15:09.960 I used to have this a lot too

00:15:11.040 I even liked it

00:15:13.760 when it was undercooked

00:15:14.880 I liked it overcooked

00:15:16.200 but when it was

00:15:17.320 like even when it was

00:15:17.860 like you're kind of

00:15:18.360 chewing on the whatever

00:15:18.980 doesn't matter

00:15:19.500 point is

00:15:20.100 it's kind of weird to me

00:15:21.340 always with those

00:15:21.860 that it's just

00:15:22.820 pour the water and thing

00:15:23.720 and cover it

00:15:24.240 But there is no covering it.

00:15:25.860 It'll always be releasing.

00:15:27.580 Yeah, yeah.

00:15:28.480 You got to lock it in.

00:15:30.760 I want that now.

00:15:31.500 Well, you know what I dream of.

00:15:32.520 What?

00:15:33.260 I've seen people do this sort of thing.

00:15:34.580 You know, it's the mason jars.

00:15:36.260 Okay.

00:15:36.660 Oh, I've seen this recently too.

00:15:37.940 Meal prep.

00:15:38.240 I like meal prep.

00:15:38.900 But Kate, hold on.

00:15:41.360 I'm talking about ramen or noodles or—

00:15:45.540 I had some great ramen.

00:15:46.180 I'm talking about cup noodle.

00:15:47.320 Okay.

00:15:47.780 Experience at home.

00:15:49.360 At high end.

00:15:49.820 I'm saying they do a bouillon.

00:15:52.140 Okay.

00:15:52.840 Drop the bouillon in the bottom.

00:15:54.240 Drop your vegetables in there.

00:15:55.920 Drop your noodles in there.

00:15:57.220 Whatever.

00:15:57.800 Create your own.

00:15:58.860 All it needs is hot water.

00:15:59.960 I think you could even do like,

00:16:00.880 if you really like,

00:16:01.680 you half cook the pasta or something.

00:16:02.760 I don't know.

00:16:03.120 It doesn't matter.

00:16:03.900 Okay.

00:16:04.740 You leave it in there.

00:16:05.840 Have boiling water.

00:16:07.180 Can't do that.

00:16:07.720 No, no.

00:16:07.980 And I just like made that up.

00:16:09.000 Okay.

00:16:09.140 But boiling the water.

00:16:10.660 Pouring it in.

00:16:12.500 By the way,

00:16:13.080 bouillon paste has become a huge part of my life.

00:16:15.640 We've got that.

00:16:16.980 Scoop and it goes.

00:16:18.260 Yeah.

00:16:18.680 You know what I did?

00:16:19.260 I had a siete party.

00:16:20.080 I didn't even realize it.

00:16:21.300 I had siete.

00:16:22.040 I had siete tortilla.

00:16:23.920 Yeah.

00:16:24.840 Siete black beans.

00:16:25.860 Yeah.

00:16:27.020 Pasture-raised organic white cheddar.

00:16:29.520 By the way, I remember learning white cheddar.

00:16:31.520 They were like—

00:16:32.100 Sharp cheddar.

00:16:33.000 It sounds like it's like the more pure one or something,

00:16:35.280 or it sounds like it's whatever.

00:16:36.160 It's like actually like it's painted white.

00:16:38.300 You know what I mean?

00:16:38.880 It's like one of those switches.

00:16:40.600 I don't know.

00:16:41.260 I just get it because it's the one that exists.

00:16:43.400 I've never seen the red.

00:16:44.540 I've never seen the yellow one for pasture-raised organic.

00:16:47.520 Oh.

00:16:48.240 There's one that goes pasture-raised and raw.

00:16:50.060 It's like $4 more.

00:16:51.020 I go, we can't be doing raw dairy now.

00:16:53.100 the bird flu thing we're not going to get into it but yeah look at my face yeah and the outbreaks

00:17:00.020 look yeah look at this here see i'm coming scared oh what the bridge no honey us first

00:17:08.240 other mammals it jumps to oh right right right us well also yeah you start going in with it so

00:17:16.200 here we go i know classic classic poog violins on the um on the bird flu ship because we all

00:17:22.860 need a little entertainment. I'm like cabaret. Like life is a cabaret. You know, I hate to drink

00:17:39.380 water. So cure is helpful. Getting me to go a little flavor. Yeah, I'll have a sip. It just

00:17:46.060 brings a little excitement to water that I find it hard to generate. Otherwise, you might let

00:17:52.760 it be a kind of morning boost. You might use it to supplement electrolytes during your workout

00:17:59.300 like I do. You keep one in your bag. You keep one at your desk. Hydration goes beyond just drinking

00:18:05.980 water. It's about replenishing the electrolytes we lose through sweat, sleep, alcohol, and daily

00:18:10.780 activities. Water alone isn't enough to do the job. That's why you need to try Cure. The electrolyte

00:18:17.100 drink mix that tastes as amazing as it makes you feel. For Burlant and Novak listeners, Cure is

00:18:21.860 offering 20% off your first order. Stay hydrated and feel your best by visiting curehydration.com

00:18:27.840 slash hags and using promo code hags at checkout. That's curehydration.com slash hags, H-A-G-S,

00:18:34.440 and use code hags for 20% off your first order.

00:18:42.840 Oh, wait, really quick food thing because you'll be into it because it's vegan.

00:18:46.160 We've been having a lot of fun making spring rolls, you know, the vegan paper

00:18:49.780 or like the paper rice paper rice paper you dip into water have you ever done that no i've always

00:18:55.440 been intimidated i go oh it sounds like there are steps yeah couldn't be easier is it just

00:18:59.220 when you dip it it becomes um you take adhesive the the rice yeah you dip it it's still kind of

00:19:04.800 hard you put it on a surface you're going it's still hard maybe it needs to soak longer it

00:19:08.520 magically becomes soft tofu we do tofu marinade with you know soy sauce almond butter 0.98

00:19:14.340 whatever the fuck 0.88

00:19:16.380 I'm not in charge of that part 0.99

00:19:18.320 tofu arrives marinated for you

00:19:20.080 julienned cucumbers

00:19:22.340 so you don't mind julienning a cucumber

00:19:24.760 I have fun julienning a cucumber

00:19:27.120 and a carrot

00:19:28.180 and then basil chop chop chop

00:19:30.520 cilantro chop chop

00:19:31.320 mint chop chop chop

00:19:32.140 Kate you're supposed to tear the basil

00:19:33.140 oh no the basil leaves are whole

00:19:34.860 yeah okay

00:19:36.940 and then rolled it up 0.99

00:19:38.120 it's a fucking spring roll 0.99

00:19:39.800 it was so good 1.00

00:19:40.860 we had like two nights in a row

00:19:42.100 and then today

00:19:42.620 I call and I go

00:19:43.360 Can we do spring roll lunch?

00:19:45.660 Was it fun?

00:19:47.320 I was like, this is what you do with kids.

00:19:49.780 Doing spring roll night at the house.

00:19:54.320 You're like, you mean you're envisioning, you know, they're helping?

00:19:57.500 They're juliening the carrot?

00:19:58.760 No, they're probably tearing their herbs.

00:20:01.180 Yeah.

00:20:02.080 My youngest tears their herbs.

00:20:03.080 They're all sticky fingers.

00:20:04.580 I know, it is true.

00:20:05.780 They get you real sick real fast.

00:20:07.840 Then you just like...

00:20:08.680 When the cold like tears through the house.

00:20:11.300 You hear about this with kids.

00:20:12.500 Oh, yeah.

00:20:13.360 they had now we have it we all have it yeah wait a second let me see that pen this is mine

00:20:18.420 no i know okay oh it's a sharpie no oh sharpie brand yeah sharpie brand gel i went point seven 0.82

00:20:24.720 i went to a bookstore and to sign the receipt i had this and i went god damn i like that pen

00:20:29.740 what is it you did the whole thing god i go sharpie does a ballpoint gel so go to ralph's

00:20:37.920 walk in. Blueberry, like a big blueberry pint, like this big. Organic blueberries, not Driscoll's

00:20:45.100 because I don't support Driscoll. Does Driscoll offer, doesn't Driscoll offer organic or no?

00:20:49.480 Yeah, they do. But they have like the most horrific and humane lever practices. So I

00:20:52.880 don't support Driscoll. Very good to know. But it was this other like, this like big

00:20:59.580 thing of blueberries, whatever. The point is, you know how expensive a big pint of organic

00:21:03.860 I don't look, but.

00:21:05.560 They were on sale for $5.

00:21:07.580 Okay.

00:21:08.980 $5.

00:21:12.500 I go, $5?

00:21:14.240 I go, yeah, we're getting those.

00:21:16.500 Put them in the basket.

00:21:17.320 We get a couple things. 1.00

00:21:18.740 This is a Ralph's, a foreign Ralph's. 1.00

00:21:20.980 This is a different town. 1.00

00:21:22.420 Self-check.

00:21:22.860 The line's crazy.

00:21:23.620 Self-checkout.

00:21:24.720 Self-checkout for me.

00:21:26.120 I hate it.

00:21:26.940 I think it's the end of society.

00:21:28.920 I just, I really don't like it.

00:21:30.060 Okay.

00:21:30.740 So I'm already, I'm already sunken emotionally.

00:21:33.720 Going to the cell checkup.

00:21:34.640 Beep, beep, beep.

00:21:35.640 I scan.

00:21:36.840 The blueberries.

00:21:37.560 Beep.

00:21:38.240 $9.

00:21:39.020 $10.99.

00:21:39.920 Yeah.

00:21:40.440 I go, they were on sale.

00:21:42.720 Help me.

00:21:44.280 Waiting, waiting.

00:21:45.000 You hit help me?

00:21:45.940 Yeah.

00:21:46.520 Wow.

00:21:47.240 Of course. 1.00

00:21:48.680 Woman comes over. 0.91

00:21:49.960 Hi.

00:21:50.540 I think, I believe these were on sale for $5.

00:21:52.620 That's when Capernaum saw it.

00:21:55.860 She was getting something a certain way.

00:21:57.720 Hi.

00:21:58.440 Hi.

00:21:59.440 I got these because I saw they were on sale for $5.

00:22:01.320 She goes, they are, but you have to have the app to get the coupon.

00:22:06.420 Are you hearing this?

00:22:07.520 An app.

00:22:08.540 You have to download an app.

00:22:09.420 You have to be a Ralph's member.

00:22:11.240 Which we are.

00:22:12.780 Oh, is that what that is?

00:22:13.840 Yeah, like Chris literally knows ours by hire.

00:22:16.180 Can you imagine?

00:22:16.980 He's like, 536-536-536.

00:22:17.860 No, but it's not a phone number thing because I think I have one of those.

00:22:20.020 It was an app.

00:22:20.720 I did download the app.

00:22:22.620 And me like, oh, cool.

00:22:23.700 So let's just say I'm elderly and I don't, like, then I just, I have to pay full price.

00:22:28.080 let me it's just anyway the point is okay the point is she goes we could download it right now

00:22:34.060 it'll be fast and i kind of go i go and then i'm like okay yeah because the principle i'm gonna

00:22:39.660 save five dollars right i start doing it the wi-fi slow oh i start getting ups i just start

00:22:45.420 inside i go just leave the blueberries no i have to do it the spirit of the thing i'd say i have

00:22:49.420 to commit now i want the blueberries five dollars organic so interesting she's she's there she goes

00:22:55.160 away right i'm still she comes back how's it going i go oh it's still and she she goes she

00:22:59.620 goes like this like hand me your phone i go hand it over i hand it over you know i go wow it's

00:23:05.680 amazing she even wants to touch that thing because other people's phones are literally coated in 0.99

00:23:08.920 semen yeah it's like so she starts pop up semen's the best thing and then she hands it back to me

00:23:14.000 there's a thing allow i hit don't allow she goes oh i think you had to hit allow and then i go i

00:23:19.200 go and i kind of go i don't think so i don't i'm not snapping at her i'm just like i don't think

00:23:22.620 it goes sends me a code

00:23:26.900 I can't do it and I say to her

00:23:28.580 first I go

00:23:29.440 I want to get exactly right what I said

00:23:32.440 I said I can't do this

00:23:33.660 and she goes like I'll help you

00:23:36.640 whatever 0.99

00:23:36.880 I run into another little issue I go I'm going to kill myself 0.98

00:23:40.760 did you say that in front of her? 1.00

00:23:42.100 I go I'm going to kill myself 0.99

00:23:43.640 and she goes 0.90

00:23:44.860 we're not going to give up

00:23:47.680 she goes

00:23:49.740 it all happens

00:23:51.340 scans it there i get the discount there was another item that i also had purchased that

00:23:56.840 was a sale i walked out of there saving eleven dollars so the app worked the app worked but i

00:24:01.860 still think it's how long i think it's spiritually and morally bankrupt you have to download the app

00:24:06.060 to get the savings just like i think cash just like cashless businesses are corrupt morally but

00:24:11.600 the point is she witnessed she stayed with me she had has stronger character than i do

00:24:19.380 in spades

00:24:20.600 a couple things though 0.99

00:24:21.760 I told her I was going to kill myself 0.99

00:24:23.000 yeah 0.95

00:24:23.740 and this reminded me

00:24:26.540 and I think I talked about this enough

00:24:27.580 when I was at a self-checkout thing

00:24:29.340 at an airport

00:24:29.820 there was a sweet old guy

00:24:31.460 and I want

00:24:32.360 can I buy water

00:24:33.280 he goes

00:24:33.540 oh you have to do the self-checkout

00:24:34.420 I go oh

00:24:34.960 and then he came over to help me

00:24:36.140 and I go

00:24:36.560 you're literally a toddler right

00:24:38.380 and I said to him

00:24:39.160 I said to him

00:24:40.380 and he came over

00:24:41.140 I can't do it

00:24:41.620 and I said

00:24:42.100 both stories

00:24:42.820 I said this is impossible

00:24:44.360 and he said no it's not

00:24:45.520 right

00:24:46.840 so twice I've had meltdowns

00:24:48.320 at the self-checkout

00:24:49.380 and I've been anchored by somebody with the skills to deal with a child.

00:24:55.520 Right.

00:24:56.260 And I was like, thank you.

00:24:57.660 Maybe what you need to do is, maybe it would be interesting,

00:24:59.960 maybe you could intervene on yourself by going,

00:25:02.880 you go, I can't do it.

00:25:03.720 And then you go, maybe there's radical self-honesty, okay?

00:25:07.420 You go, I can do it.

00:25:09.720 I don't want to do it.

00:25:11.560 See what happens there.

00:25:12.460 And then you go, am I willing to do something I don't want to do?

00:25:17.740 And then you decide.

00:25:19.100 See what I'm saying?

00:25:19.780 Because I almost quit.

00:25:20.660 You're skipping to I can't because I can't gives you an out.

00:25:24.340 I saved $10.

00:25:26.500 How does—because I think about it.

00:25:27.700 Let's say you saved $10, right?

00:25:29.700 Yeah.

00:25:30.840 You mean the timing?

00:25:31.320 For the rest of your life, you'd save $10.

00:25:35.560 Okay, so I'm trying to figure this out.

00:25:38.320 It's a math question.

00:25:38.980 How long did it take?

00:25:39.720 It's a math question.

00:25:41.160 Let's—if I saved $10 in 1992 on something, I'll depreciate some value.

00:25:45.720 but are you inherently

00:25:47.580 ten dollars

00:25:48.720 richer forever

00:25:49.600 depreciates over time

00:25:51.560 a hundred thousand dollars

00:25:54.400 in ten years

00:25:54.980 becomes fifty thousand dollars

00:25:56.180 I think

00:25:58.520 oh that's what you're talking about

00:26:00.160 okay

00:26:00.580 so if I save ten dollars

00:26:01.900 at Ralph's

00:26:02.780 does what

00:26:04.100 does your savings

00:26:04.980 have inflation

00:26:06.620 is what you mean

00:26:07.880 well no you go

00:26:09.980 and that would be equal 0.55

00:26:10.640 to blow blow day

00:26:11.340 yeah yeah

00:26:12.060 the point is

00:26:12.940 I think

00:26:13.340 what are you trying to do

00:26:14.240 nothing

00:26:14.600 I don't really know

00:26:15.720 Okay, no, you're not trying to come up with a reason to—

00:26:17.760 I was thinking about—I was trying to make it so that I saved more than $10.

00:26:22.380 There's a lot of ways you could do that.

00:26:23.500 By the way, the blueberries, and this is why I really stayed true,

00:26:26.100 and I want these blueberries, they were all hard.

00:26:29.040 They were all perfect levels of hardness.

00:26:31.780 And this was an incredible—

00:26:33.080 Right, so they started to die when—

00:26:34.220 They weren't shriveled.

00:26:35.100 There weren't the wet guys at the bottom.

00:26:36.280 This was a hard marble.

00:26:38.240 I had a marble bowl.

00:26:40.220 I had a marble, blueberry marble set.

00:26:42.440 Wow.

00:26:43.400 Well, here's how there's more money, you know.

00:26:45.720 You could pay a therapist to challenge yourself.

00:26:48.620 Exposure therapy to discomfort and frustration.

00:26:51.700 So you were paid to have a frustrating experience in which you grew.

00:26:55.660 I like that.

00:26:56.440 That's pretty good.

00:26:57.380 And then you download the app, which now you've downloaded once.

00:27:01.680 Yep.

00:27:02.340 So that has been locked in.

00:27:03.620 That was startup.

00:27:04.240 That was startup costs.

00:27:05.040 You know, when your phone takes away the app from you, you go back.

00:27:07.040 It's been a while.

00:27:07.720 Yeah.

00:27:07.880 I took it away.

00:27:08.360 Sure do.

00:27:08.640 Start selling again.

00:27:09.400 And you go, cool.

00:27:10.320 Log in again.

00:27:11.000 Save password.

00:27:11.780 What?

00:27:12.280 What?

00:27:12.560 What?

00:27:12.800 What?

00:27:13.020 What?

00:27:13.820 You know, yeah.

00:27:14.700 I create the spontaneous.

00:27:15.960 They go,

00:27:16.300 want us to make a sexy password for you?

00:27:17.860 42689, whatever.

00:27:19.380 I go, sure.

00:27:21.300 And then the next time it doesn't work.

00:27:22.520 You know what I do?

00:27:23.340 I go, I hit yes, edit.

00:27:25.640 And I copy and paste it into a secret place.

00:27:28.760 A secret place meaning what?

00:27:29.620 Google Docs?

00:27:30.420 Well, no.

00:27:30.980 I'm not going to tell my secret place.

00:27:32.560 You have a secret place that's on Google Docs?

00:27:35.160 Notes?

00:27:35.820 What else is there?

00:27:36.740 Something secret.

00:27:37.540 I'm not going to tell you.

00:27:38.220 There's a million apps out there.

00:27:39.580 Wait, tell me right now.

00:27:40.340 I refuse.

00:27:41.500 Why?

00:27:42.520 Because I could use that app.

00:27:43.340 Because it ruins the security.

00:27:44.480 I'll tell you offline.

00:27:45.420 But who's going to go in?

00:27:46.520 I don't know.

00:27:47.560 How could it work?

00:27:48.420 It's like, it's just a...

00:27:50.140 Tell me and we'll beep it.

00:27:51.400 No, no, that's editing time.

00:27:53.720 Okay.

00:27:54.220 That $10 goes to an editor.

00:27:56.180 Okay.

00:27:57.400 What's your... 1.00

00:27:57.800 No, my point is, let's just say I copy and paste it into a fucking notebook. 0.99

00:28:01.840 You know what I mean? 0.98

00:28:02.880 It's like, to me, where the breakdown is, is in the autofill, and then they've got the old one somehow.

00:28:08.500 Yeah.

00:28:09.220 Really, really.

00:28:10.060 It pisses me off.

00:28:10.580 I've been getting so many scammer calls, and I engage.

00:28:13.440 Right.

00:28:13.720 I know you do.

00:28:14.900 And this guy.

00:28:15.600 When you want to have a little fun.

00:28:16.020 Hello, Kathleen.

00:28:17.180 Yeah.

00:28:17.640 I go, sure.

00:28:18.340 Yeah.

00:28:19.480 No, I actually, it was a little dark because I was like, I had like three in a day.

00:28:24.320 And again, they're calling me because I'm picking up, right?

00:28:26.280 Like, that's how they get.

00:28:27.660 Oh, it is.

00:28:27.940 They're like, oh, yeah.

00:28:28.600 They're like, oh, she's engaging.

00:28:29.420 She likes it.

00:28:30.040 Yeah.

00:28:30.300 She likes it. 1.00

00:28:32.180 And I really wanted to like, because what's so tragic is like these, you know, often elderly

00:28:37.260 people get scammed.

00:28:38.200 I knew this was coming again.

00:28:38.520 They get scammed.

00:28:39.180 and it's always it's always you it's like you're the stand-in for the elderly you're like this is 1.00

00:28:46.960 wrong you see what I'm saying it is wrong and and they get I could do it I refuse the elderly

00:28:54.100 person struggling might not be able to do it I refuse on their behalf it was kind of I think 1.00

00:28:59.780 your stance I refuse to get in on the scam to struggle through the thing that an elderly person

00:29:04.660 would struggle with this hardcore and so do it for me you know what i'm saying why do i still

00:29:09.300 not understand because you can't see what i'm realizing what joking but what i miss a lot i

00:29:14.980 have like deep reading comprehension issues i think that like for example i saw i watched a

00:29:21.020 movie twice a lot of shit i missed the first time is that normal i think that's a good good movie 0.84

00:29:27.280 and i went back the second time i go oh what do you how do you feel do you um say like do you 0.99

00:29:33.100 ask for clarification with someone you're watching

00:29:35.020 for something? I missed something huge.

00:29:36.100 What did he say? I missed something huge

00:29:39.220 in a movie recently. Or was it like

00:29:40.960 struggling a little bit at the end?

00:29:42.640 What about when the remote, 1.00

00:29:44.400 this fucking shit remotes. Goes crazy? 1.00

00:29:47.340 Flies back to the beginning.

00:29:49.940 Like Fury.

00:29:51.240 Well, this was a movie theater.

00:29:53.160 So, what are you saying?

00:29:55.820 Cinematic comprehension? 0.99

00:29:57.000 Should I be worried about being dumb? 0.99

00:29:59.300 No. 1.00

00:30:00.600 You've got a sharp brain.

00:30:02.060 something's wrong with it I'm losing stuff really details I mean not really but kind of I'm just

00:30:08.140 sometimes I'm yeah it's fine I don't think it's progressive I think it's no no I just think it's

00:30:12.740 like it's like a focus it's something I don't know there's certain things I I missed my exit

00:30:17.180 the other day but that made sense I was kind of I was like driving and then I saw my old exit where

00:30:22.940 I used to live and I saw it and I was kind of like overwhelmed with like not nostalgia like

00:30:27.520 Well, nostalgia is my, you know, my big killer.

00:30:29.400 But I was like, wow, like that used to be my exit.

00:30:32.580 And I was kind of driving.

00:30:33.780 It wasn't emotional even.

00:30:35.040 I just was like, I used to be my exit.

00:30:37.520 Drove, boom, mixed my exit.

00:30:39.620 Boom, mixed the next one.

00:30:40.800 Boom. 0.95

00:30:41.220 And then it was like I came to.

00:30:43.480 Yeah.

00:30:43.700 And I was like.

00:30:44.780 It's hard to explain to certain people who don't understand that like you were driving safely.

00:30:50.080 Yeah, totally.

00:30:50.540 You were tuned out.

00:30:51.740 Like it's like, yeah, I was nowhere.

00:30:53.520 but like my eyes and my body and all the things that have to do with driving like were functioning

00:31:00.340 yeah but also i was gone you'll you i think you'll be interested in this that i just heard

00:31:05.700 little science thing i heard today first of all apparently penicillin allergies which i'm under

00:31:10.560 the impression i have a penicillin allergy are you based on based on so it's apparently it's a

00:31:14.560 certain thing like certain years people are born there was this like widespread confusion about

00:31:18.380 penicillin did you ever it's this murky thing my mom's like oh as a kid maybe something so i always

00:31:24.860 write in penicillin but there's a thing that's kind of commonly known that like no actually

00:31:28.480 you're probably not and now very recently very recently they're like oh like 30 million people

00:31:33.360 think they're allergic to penicillin and are not or whatever that's funny and they were talking

00:31:37.560 about asthma and they were saying that this guy who's kind of like kooky or whatever he was like

00:31:43.760 I studied kids with asthma, and I found that when, during the television boom, the television, see, weird emphasis on words, when the television boom was happening, that kids were doing, when kids watch television, they're in a trance, and they take shallower breath.

00:32:01.280 There it is.

00:32:02.580 And he was like, asthma was going, yeah, yeah, because they're watching TV, and they're like, and he was like, if you tap a kid on the shoulder who's lost in television, they'll almost jump, like, they're like.

00:32:12.340 Yeah.

00:32:12.700 and social media

00:32:14.660 whenever

00:32:15.100 it actually doesn't do that

00:32:16.380 you take deeper breaths

00:32:17.600 apparently

00:32:17.980 when you're on social media

00:32:19.320 I think I am chronically

00:32:22.180 deoxygenated

00:32:23.780 I'm holding my breath

00:32:23.800 no I'm like

00:32:24.120 the 0.91

00:32:25.000 I

00:32:25.520 cause I actually

00:32:26.240 I don't want to be distracted

00:32:27.940 like

00:32:28.420 like to be

00:32:29.480 so

00:32:29.960 I will go like

00:32:31.400 oh I don't think I've

00:32:32.540 like basically

00:32:33.200 like right now

00:32:33.740 I'm not breathing

00:32:34.280 okay

00:32:34.620 I'm like in this

00:32:35.600 but I'm relaxed

00:32:36.340 it's like I don't know

00:32:37.500 that I'm not breathing

00:32:38.060 so the panic isn't setting in

00:32:39.480 yeah

00:32:39.800 but I'm like

00:32:40.340 there's no inhale

00:32:40.920 happening right now

00:32:41.560 yeah yeah

00:32:41.920 I'm just gone

00:32:42.480 and I could stay here and like then it's almost like

00:32:45.000 it's barely 0.97

00:32:47.080 fucking getting in there. Are your legs crossed right now? 0.99

00:32:49.380 Yeah. Mine too. We can't be

00:32:51.160 doing that anymore. Why again?

00:32:52.800 It's bad for all alignment. It throws off your whole face

00:32:55.340 everything. I'm doing it because I'm told.

00:32:56.760 You're like 90s. Let's talk about, by the way, there's one guy

00:32:58.960 I love, you know, his videos are just like

00:33:00.980 I'm like, yes, okay. Because he's got

00:33:02.940 this skeleton and then these rubber bands on the skeleton

00:33:04.900 representing muscles. He really

00:33:07.040 shows. He's like, look, turn this here

00:33:09.040 and that. Okay. And I'm like

00:33:10.920 And he shows the thing and fucking rules. 0.99

00:33:13.300 I know. 0.99

00:33:14.100 Well, yeah.

00:33:15.200 But here's the guy who's got to stir from the abs.

00:33:18.100 It's really hard not to cross the legs.

00:33:20.240 What are your thoughts on, I was staying recently at a home that had one of the Toto, you know, the fancy, the toilets that like warm up and they go crazy.

00:33:29.500 Yeah.

00:33:29.960 And at first I was like, whoa.

00:33:31.320 And then I started to not like that, you know, because it greets you.

00:33:35.860 You walk in and it's like, hello.

00:33:37.920 Not literally.

00:33:39.080 No, but it like opens.

00:33:40.440 And it's very dramatic.

00:33:41.740 It's like, and then it's like, and it does like a little spray.

00:33:46.640 It's like, it's like eager.

00:33:48.400 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.98

00:33:49.040 It's like eager to receive your piss. 0.87

00:33:51.100 It clears its throat for you. 0.73

00:33:53.820 Exactly, exactly.

00:33:55.460 And then when you're done, you know, it closes.

00:33:58.220 It licks its lips.

00:33:59.380 Yeah, exactly.

00:34:01.180 It closes, it rinses itself.

00:34:04.040 And then it goes like, there's like a beep sound that happens.

00:34:06.760 And I was like, I find that that's a little irritating.

00:34:08.160 It's like another electronic sounds are not soothing.

00:34:10.440 I was like do I really want to hear like the toilet being like confirming like confirming yeah and

00:34:15.500 like the point is I want that I love it oh and you do and I want it and I was looking they're just

00:34:21.760 they're you know they're expensive but I'm by the total website I'm confused they go base model

00:34:25.520 1200 I go 1200 I thought we were starting much higher really they would go up to 22k no can you 0.98

00:34:31.240 imagine yeah all right tell me about $20,000 toilet tell me about as a good blowjob while 0.97

00:34:36.300 I mean, I think it kind of does, right? 0.99

00:34:38.400 It better blow you, yeah.

00:34:39.760 I mean, I think it's got so many jets and things.

00:34:42.700 Yeah, definitely. 1.00

00:34:43.380 Yeah, people are fucking them for sure. 0.99

00:34:45.220 What is it? 0.99

00:34:46.480 The $20,000 one?

00:34:47.380 Yeah.

00:34:47.840 What's the biggest thing on it that you saw?

00:34:50.140 Or is it just like—

00:34:50.840 It's more design.

00:34:52.080 It's like hovering in space.

00:34:54.840 It's like Gucci X.

00:34:57.260 And then—

00:34:57.840 Or it's like—

00:34:58.420 Swarovski.

00:35:00.000 Swarovski.

00:35:00.660 Swarovski.

00:35:01.580 Look, I'm doing it.

00:35:02.720 Swarovski.

00:35:04.140 Where it's the same tech, but it's made of a material.

00:35:08.200 You know what I'm saying?

00:35:08.780 That's the question.

00:35:09.540 Well, no, totally should be 20 grand.

00:35:11.460 I wonder if there must be a real culture. 1.00

00:35:13.320 Like, there's definitely probably a strong toilet subculture.

00:35:16.320 People who collect rare toilets.

00:35:18.640 Or just, like, a high-end toilet.

00:35:20.440 Well, you need to actually start spending more time on Reddit.

00:35:22.860 Okay, I have a question.

00:35:23.680 For product stuff.

00:35:24.200 Do you have a Reddit account?

00:35:25.540 I don't have a Reddit account.

00:35:26.560 I think I finally...

00:35:27.660 Because how do you navigate it?

00:35:29.280 God, I'm old.

00:35:30.220 Are you hearing me?

00:35:31.620 Hi, Hila.

00:35:32.620 Well, here's what you do, Kate.

00:35:33.760 Load comments.

00:35:34.960 You Google best toilet in the world Reddit.

00:35:37.780 Ooh.

00:35:38.600 Half the time it pops up anyway.

00:35:39.800 Can I do it now?

00:35:41.080 Yeah.

00:35:41.760 Just a little bit.

00:35:44.000 But you're going to put it down.

00:35:45.240 Just quickly.

00:35:45.620 No, it's going to be quick.

00:35:46.300 It's going to be quick.

00:35:47.600 No texting.

00:35:49.560 Let's see.

00:35:50.020 Two texts. 1.00

00:35:50.600 Let's try best toilet. 1.00

00:35:53.220 Best toilet Reddit. 0.98

00:35:54.200 Try best toilet Reddit.

00:35:55.380 Best toilet.

00:35:57.420 Wait, what's going on?

00:35:58.400 Best toilet.

00:35:59.200 let's see what did reddit start to pop up when you're a r whatever it doesn't matter 0.99

00:36:05.020 pointing out what's good no what should i do serious shit how do i choose a toilet 0.99

00:36:09.180 no but don't we want to know most expend most crazy toilet right most extravagant toilet sure 0.98

00:36:14.620 most extra i don't see the word extravagance thrown around a lot on twitter i mean on uh on

00:36:20.620 seeking a luxury toilet most luxurious yeah that's that's what we're kind of looking for

00:36:25.580 When did I almost pipe in?

00:36:27.520 I almost piped in. 0.99

00:36:28.860 And then, fuck, I can't remember. 1.00

00:36:30.260 I had a moment where I almost joined the fucking conversation. 1.00

00:36:35.400 On Reddit? 0.99

00:36:36.220 Yeah.

00:36:36.940 All right.

00:36:37.780 That's enough.

00:36:38.660 Get out.

00:36:39.020 No, because people are saying,

00:36:40.240 they're saying,

00:36:41.300 this guy's like,

00:36:42.520 speaking to a friend about bidets, blah, blah, blah.

00:36:44.600 Yeah.

00:36:45.800 Anyway, I was telling him about this 0.97

00:36:46.960 and that I still need to pat dry my butt with toilet paper. 0.93

00:36:49.640 I'm so sorry. 0.94

00:36:50.720 Yeah.

00:36:51.320 He said he doesn't and just pulls his pants up

00:36:53.400 and lets his underwear soak up the remaining water.

00:36:56.220 Ew, what water?

00:36:57.840 Oh, wait, they're talking about,

00:36:58.960 they're talking, sorry,

00:36:59.640 they're talking about bidets, right?

00:37:01.840 Yeah, but that helps.

00:37:03.320 The community, the community on Reddit

00:37:05.300 because I'm seeing people joking and having fun in there.

00:37:07.520 Well, I've said it before,

00:37:08.940 but it's a notorious thing.

00:37:10.800 What, the best friends you'll ever have

00:37:12.580 you make in Reddit?

00:37:13.180 It's, no, it's, you know,

00:37:15.560 Facebook where we're friends or strangers.

00:37:18.700 Reddit where strangers are friends.

00:37:20.260 Wow, you wrote that.

00:37:22.100 I didn't. 1.00

00:37:23.040 Fuck. 0.99

00:37:23.820 But I remember a good copy. 1.00

00:37:25.620 Does the phrase come, is it from I read it?

00:37:28.620 Did you hear that?

00:37:29.500 I read it?

00:37:30.280 I think so, yeah.

00:37:31.920 You mean, why did they name it that?

00:37:33.420 Why did they name it Reddit?

00:37:34.560 I think it's got to be Reddit.

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00:38:41.140 write with Ali. I had a huge realization about letters being only existing technically, right?

00:38:53.360 Like what is a letter, like a letter in two dimensions because you're always writing on

00:38:59.020 a piece of paper, right? Like that's the, the canvas is a two-dimensional canvas, right? Yet

00:39:04.140 I always think of it like I'm, it's more like I'm representing something three-dimensional

00:39:07.380 in a two-dimensional form but there is no two-dimensional form of letters except for

00:39:11.700 when you see like sculptures where they've made like an l like a box you mean there's no three

00:39:15.700 dimensional or like okay you form a letter right representing a form an l yeah it's crossed right

00:39:21.380 it's crossed itself yeah so so that means to me like if this were in three dimensions when it's

00:39:27.260 crossed itself it's in front of the other one but there there is no in front of really

00:39:32.360 in two dimensions.

00:39:34.760 So it's actually striking through it.

00:39:37.800 What?

00:39:38.480 Like something's happening here.

00:39:39.720 Yeah, that's interesting.

00:39:40.700 It was a huge mystical revelation.

00:39:42.420 Have you had any huge mystical revelations recently?

00:39:44.440 I'm trying to think

00:39:44.840 because I feel like there's been several.

00:39:46.380 Oh, well, there's this other thing.

00:39:47.840 You know what's been happening?

00:39:48.880 There's this constellation I keep pointing out.

00:39:51.360 Which one?

00:39:51.640 And I'm like, oh, wait.

00:39:52.560 And I found it once with you.

00:39:54.620 When we were away looking at the stars,

00:39:55.800 I go, there's my friend, okay?

00:39:56.980 Oh, yeah, I remember that.

00:39:57.940 Because it's on such a different scale

00:39:59.900 than the other ones.

00:40:01.100 It's like a tiny cluster.

00:40:01.940 It's a tiny one, and it's like, I'm like, no one's talking about that one, okay?

00:40:05.080 Yeah.

00:40:05.520 What's hysterical is it looks like a very small Big Dipper, okay?

00:40:10.020 Cute.

00:40:10.200 Chris is like, I think that's the Little Dipper.

00:40:12.340 No, I know exactly what you're talking about.

00:40:13.260 It's not the Little Dipper.

00:40:14.420 Yeah, yeah.

00:40:14.700 It can't be the Little Dipper.

00:40:15.740 No.

00:40:16.360 This is microscopic.

00:40:16.900 By the way, the Big Dipper is huge.

00:40:18.560 The Big Dipper is actually, it's almost embarrassing.

00:40:20.260 It's like, it's bigger.

00:40:20.720 Orion is taking a bath in it.

00:40:22.940 It's bigger than you have ever thought.

00:40:24.540 Yeah.

00:40:25.200 Well, that's the real thing.

00:40:26.320 But then I can, I'm always confused.

00:40:27.960 Yeah, yeah.

00:40:28.940 Can you lock into anyone other than Orion?

00:40:31.340 No, I go Big Dipper, I go Orion's belt.

00:40:33.360 And then a lot of times, I can't lie, I'm like thinking I'm looking at the Big Dipper

00:40:36.740 and then I'm like, wait, I think the bottom of the Big Dipper is Orion's belt.

00:40:40.920 It gets confusing.

00:40:41.780 And then I try to look, I'm like, North Star, can't find it.

00:40:44.840 Mars?

00:40:45.580 Mars, you can easily spot.

00:40:47.460 It's pink.

00:40:48.500 Yeah, it's glowing.

00:40:49.860 But like to be able to spot that bowl or whatever.

00:40:53.440 Oh, that's not a small bowl.

00:40:53.780 You know what I'm talking about, like the ram.

00:40:55.600 Yeah, yeah.

00:40:56.480 But anyway, I was looking up and I saw it and I was like, I don't know, I just love it.

00:40:59.900 I love those stars.

00:41:02.160 Thank God we got the stars still.

00:41:04.540 Not for long.

00:41:05.340 And they've already been corrupted.

00:41:06.480 Okay.

00:41:08.180 Sky or ocean?

00:41:10.460 Any time of day.

00:41:12.540 If you could only see one.

00:41:13.400 What do you get lost in more?

00:41:15.380 Okay, because I had the experience recently of being, of course,

00:41:17.940 captivated by the ocean, right?

00:41:20.540 Yeah.

00:41:20.680 Watching the ocean.

00:41:21.900 Looking up in the night sky.

00:41:23.160 What gives you a greater thrill?

00:41:24.740 Actually, I thought, oh, it's easy ocean.

00:41:26.740 And then I go, actually, I don't know about that.

00:41:28.140 Well, I know this is this is why this question is interesting, because there's kind of a

00:41:32.160 obvious answer that then isn't so obvious. Here's why. I think.

00:41:36.740 What's the obvious answer?

00:41:37.760 Well, you're like the ocean.

00:41:39.740 Yeah, because everyone's like used to the sky or something. Right. But here's the thing.

00:41:45.360 Can the ocean truly be enjoyed without the sky?

00:41:48.940 There she goes. There's my girl.

00:41:50.820 OK, there's a backdrop. The ocean. So ocean, no sky, no horizon level.

00:41:56.120 interesting but isn't that just that's just i mean that's patterns yeah yeah there's no

00:42:01.360 the horizon is built into the ocean i guess you can stare at the sky i was picturing no

00:42:06.160 anything i was picturing nine sky no ocean exactly you no this is what i'm saying which

00:42:11.300 the sky is capable of you know the ocean that can never be received alone you stare up at the

00:42:16.600 sky right and then it just dissolves at the edges staring up the sky i keep i always miss

00:42:24.200 shooting stars. Everyone I'm with.

00:42:26.300 Oh, there's another one. There's another one. What?

00:42:28.280 Yeah. You have to keep your

00:42:30.280 gaze and you have to be the first one to see it.

00:42:32.320 And there's slow. There is no look at that

00:42:34.140 shooting star. Right, right, right.

00:42:36.560 You have to wait for the shooting star

00:42:38.280 to appear. Wow. To shoot across

00:42:40.240 your sky

00:42:42.120 canvas of your eye. Yeah.

00:42:44.500 That's kind of interesting.

00:42:46.120 Almost could be a useful metaphor.

00:42:49.020 You know what I'm saying?

00:42:50.020 Like there's something there. No, there is.

00:42:51.720 Like what does that mean? You wait for it. Arrested.

00:42:53.740 yeah don't you love the word arrest in terms of stop stoppage so satisfying arresting an

00:43:03.380 arresting beauty it's a good word it's really good not to be one of these people who loves 0.91

00:43:09.780 language but god damn when it hits it hits i need a really great night out at a restaurant

00:43:16.560 really yeah me in a backless dress with a pearl chain with a pearl a single strand of pearls 0.98

00:43:23.560 Oh, one of those.

00:43:25.560 You know what's interesting?

00:43:26.160 Last night, didn't sleep well.

00:43:28.380 Kind of okay with it.

00:43:29.880 I slept like 12 hours or something.

00:43:32.040 I got it 10 hours last week.

00:43:34.020 The dreams, you know when you're like past nine hours and the dreams take another level?

00:43:38.960 Then they go, she's still here.

00:43:39.940 And then they start really showing off.

00:43:41.160 They go, yeah.

00:43:43.040 I don't even know if I can articulate.

00:43:46.460 It's like.

00:43:47.100 Visuality?

00:43:47.600 It's in a whole other world. 1.00

00:43:49.060 Yes.

00:43:49.340 I was also walking around going, Cuaron, Cuaron, Cuaron.

00:43:52.260 in my dream, like a filmmaker, right?

00:43:55.260 Wait, wait, wait.

00:43:55.780 Alfonso, is that right?

00:43:57.460 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:43:58.520 What, you dreamt about? 0.99

00:44:00.380 I'm not fucking kidding you. 1.00

00:44:01.960 Wait. 0.99

00:44:02.880 I was like, over and over again, I was going,

00:44:04.760 it's a flap, like, linguistic thing.

00:44:07.660 I am not kidding you.

00:44:08.260 Trying to get the, like, R, right?

00:44:09.480 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

00:44:10.620 Wait, full telepathy tapes.

00:44:12.640 Something happened between us.

00:44:13.860 I don't think I'm making it up.

00:44:16.340 I think I had that and was, like, almost in the morning being like.

00:44:21.020 Well, I wonder if I can trigger your dream memory.

00:44:22.940 Maybe you were at this place, too.

00:44:23.880 This was last week.

00:44:25.680 This was last night.

00:44:27.340 Okay.

00:44:27.960 Nonetheless, I mean, time is completely irrelevant when it comes to...

00:44:32.840 Well, time is completely irrelevant.

00:44:34.500 Full stop.

00:44:35.500 I was in a whole other world.

00:44:39.260 But the stakes were high.

00:44:42.240 But it was people in costume and, like, it was art.

00:44:48.360 but it was a

00:44:49.520 we were inside a movie

00:44:50.360 we were watching a movie

00:44:51.240 it was

00:44:53.520 love

00:44:55.500 there's nothing to be said

00:44:56.560 there's nothing

00:44:57.000 oh but I am actually

00:44:58.060 I've devoted one of my

00:45:00.120 Hoganichis

00:45:00.980 my small 0.99

00:45:01.460 my A6

00:45:02.220 which

00:45:02.760 which

00:45:03.160 to

00:45:04.240 and writing

00:45:05.440 before bed

00:45:06.820 a kind of

00:45:08.180 you know

00:45:09.100 question for the subconscious

00:45:10.260 type of thing

00:45:10.820 so there's morning

00:45:12.400 and evening

00:45:12.940 so it's two

00:45:14.460 two parter

00:45:15.200 right

00:45:16.060 writing it down

00:45:16.860 and then sort of

00:45:17.320 posing the question

00:45:18.000 and then and that's i'm letting that be that journal oh that's nice and then what else oh

00:45:26.080 by the way i've been saying tomo river paper and i believe it's tomo way it's okay the paper

00:45:35.060 community will forgive you yeah i mean there's all sorts of mispronunciations all over the place

00:45:39.800 you know you can't worry about it i honestly started thinking about doing unboxings like

00:45:45.440 just uploading them to the premium

00:45:47.360 without even like discussing with you.

00:45:49.720 You don't have to run it by me.

00:45:50.900 I feel like an unboxing.

00:45:53.040 Yeah, yeah, sure.

00:45:53.500 Yeah, it's like it's there.

00:45:54.040 Throw it up there.

00:45:55.080 Yeah, like a couple hounds will be interested

00:45:57.080 watching me ink my pens.

00:45:59.460 I have to pee.

00:46:00.700 I just like,

00:46:01.400 I will sometimes go on stage needing to pee.

00:46:03.640 That's wild.

00:46:04.240 And I will like let it be like...

00:46:07.000 I went on stage...

00:46:08.980 I'm bouncing atop my own bladder somehow.

00:46:11.180 I went on stage unusually hungry last night.

00:46:13.640 You wonder,

00:46:14.080 will the mic pick up the growl?

00:46:15.440 I know. And I thought, I was like, this is not good. It ended up, of course, disappears the second you start your show.

00:46:21.980 Like so many things.

00:46:23.320 I know.

00:46:24.420 Well, I was also just like, I just love those boards. Okay. I was like, you know, reading several ADD books and, you know, the chemicals of focus and the whole thing, urgency of the stage. It's like, of course.

00:46:37.160 That's why, that's where I go for, to express sustained thought.

00:46:41.080 Yeah, of course.

00:46:42.080 Because the urgency.

00:46:43.520 Can't check your phone on stage.

00:46:45.200 Yeah.

00:46:45.840 And the chemicals are, sorry.

00:46:48.360 Like, I actually require the audience.

00:46:51.200 Yeah.

00:46:51.700 The terror.

00:46:53.140 You should require the terror to be able to sustain a single thought.

00:46:56.040 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:46:56.580 No, I completely relate.

00:46:57.460 You know, and I'm locked up again.

00:47:00.280 You know, it's MRI for Christmas, but it's like I want the functional brain scans.

00:47:04.160 I'm begging for pre-nuvo.

00:47:05.940 Scared, but might as well get the information.

00:47:08.760 You know what I mean?

00:47:09.420 But doesn't it feel like, let's wait till, like, enjoy the summer.

00:47:14.160 I know.

00:47:14.780 I know.

00:47:16.320 Before. 1.00

00:47:16.920 Fuck. 1.00

00:47:17.400 Before, you know, like, but I guess, you know, it's like, no, you just got to fucking go in. 1.00

00:47:21.040 Just go in, you get the scan. 0.99

00:47:22.140 You fucking get it. 0.99

00:47:23.580 Pre-Nuvo. 1.00

00:47:24.060 It's too much.

00:47:24.640 Come.

00:47:25.260 But I want, I want, I want the one where they tell you if you've got Ring of Fire, ADD, and whatnot.

00:47:29.980 I want to see what's going on.

00:47:31.120 And then I also want to go.

00:47:32.780 Pre-Nuvo, by the way.

00:47:34.560 Gets in there.

00:47:35.100 They're not paying us.

00:47:36.520 You can do full body scan.

00:47:39.040 You can do head and torso.

00:47:40.500 Just torso.

00:47:41.840 See, you know what that reminds me of?

00:47:43.180 That's weird, because you know what that reminds me of?

00:47:45.000 Like, first of all, it's like, you can pay to only have your specific fear assessed.

00:47:50.460 It kind of makes sense now. 0.98

00:47:51.700 It's almost like, no, but it's kind of fucked up, right? 1.00

00:47:53.580 Because they're, let's just say they're looking for something, like, that can fucking kill you. 1.00

00:47:58.840 You're afraid of your torso, but it's in your fucking leg. 1.00

00:48:02.400 I know it's major organs, okay? 1.00

00:48:03.700 But you can go, you know, fucked elsewhere. 1.00

00:48:05.520 And they're allowing you to do it. 0.99

00:48:06.800 It's almost, to me, like, they got you in there and they didn't, I don't know.

00:48:10.720 I don't know.

00:48:11.840 Something's up.

00:48:12.560 well it's expensive 0.95

00:48:13.680 reminds me of the cryo people 0.99

00:48:15.100 some of them are like 0.66

00:48:16.320 it's cheaper to just freeze your head

00:48:18.400 than freeze the whole body

00:48:19.520 because they're like

00:48:20.340 if we're bringing us back

00:48:21.520 they're putting us on robot bodies

00:48:23.000 people really do that huh

00:48:24.380 I don't know

00:48:25.480 because it's just

00:48:26.500 in no way would I want it

00:48:28.480 it's like 0.64

00:48:29.100 it's a fool's errand 0.99

00:48:30.860 it's like 0.99

00:48:32.280 it makes no sense

00:48:34.680 actually that could be used for

00:48:37.540 my Halloween costume

00:48:38.760 the head on the table 0.56

00:48:39.540 sort of cryo head

00:48:41.720 Yeah. 0.70

00:48:42.040 Me in a jar.

00:48:44.080 By the way, I went to Costco for the first time.

00:48:45.900 Hello.

00:48:46.700 We just had to go.

00:48:48.020 I mean, you know.

00:48:49.240 And?

00:48:50.320 It was interesting.

00:48:51.320 So you bought a membership.

00:48:52.460 Yeah.

00:48:52.820 What'd you get?

00:48:53.580 A couple bags of frozen berries.

00:48:56.100 Okay.

00:48:56.620 Mostly.

00:48:57.520 It wasn't life-changing.

00:48:58.740 You'll be back.

00:48:59.800 Will I?

00:49:00.840 No, here's what I'm, I'm, I was pretty excited about the huge thing of, of organic blueberries.

00:49:06.780 There was a digital piano there I'm curious about.

00:49:09.840 but almost only because they only have one piano,

00:49:12.600 and so you go, it kind of, like, makes a choice for you.

00:49:15.280 Right.

00:49:16.000 You know when things are built up, you know what I mean?

00:49:18.000 Of course.

00:49:19.020 Did you walk every aisle?

00:49:20.300 Every aisle.

00:49:21.080 Okay, good.

00:49:21.780 Good.

00:49:22.520 You didn't have fun?

00:49:23.500 I mean, it's always fun to see something new,

00:49:25.740 but it was like, you know, like, we did the whole thing.

00:49:28.060 Did you only get the frozen berries?

00:49:29.940 Pallet of Celsius.

00:49:31.480 That was fun.

00:49:32.660 And we start doing that.

00:49:33.340 I mean, we are, like, you know, like, in a couple, right?

00:49:36.000 Like, the little, like, plays, right?

00:49:38.260 Like, you're inside of a play.

00:49:39.620 right it's like and you slip in it it's like you in italy like like you know with a friend whatever

00:49:47.340 but like right it wasn't really like the food you had like wasn't that good and you're like you know

00:49:52.180 we kind of like go through the thing we're like so into it like this is crazy and then we're kind

00:49:56.420 of like you know i think really you know did it and i'm like well we do have like the instacart i

00:50:01.280 mean really i got the membership so that things that we really want on the instagram it was this

00:50:04.720 whole conversation about driving to um culver city or whatever and well here's the thing about

00:50:08.680 costco and this is true i used to think i had to go to costco ahead of maybe entertaining like a

00:50:14.400 bigger group right because i go well limes lemons and then i once entertained without going to costco

00:50:21.340 and realized because i would go to costco so funny you think you need to entertain to cut like versus

00:50:25.420 the supermarket like just any market well because it's you're not entertaining for a company it's

00:50:30.600 and i would i would hemorrhage cash because i get well i mean i wouldn't go that far but i would

00:50:35.240 get excited like but if you're like booze or something you can get good deals like for sure

00:50:40.000 but i'm like do i really want well here's the question do i want to be under those lights

00:50:46.460 i was like ordering i was like that adding to my like instacart regimen or you know my lineup of

00:50:52.100 stores because i used to be like wait i can order on here no without being a member fill a cart and 0.95

00:50:56.260 then get to the end do this 10 times of course no you got to be a member oh fuck yeah i didn't know 0.68

00:51:00.920 okay so like they're on there so i could actually order delivery yeah whoa so you could just you

00:51:05.980 could get your berries delivered so we start going like what's real for us because i'm going

00:51:09.260 i'm walking through this thing i'm going is this what like you know time is worth all you know an 0.89

00:51:17.400 hour in costco like three hours you know it like getting going getting your ass up to go to costco

00:51:23.600 because it's because you want to go because it's fun right and so i guess i was saying is it fun 0.51

00:51:27.320 at the carnival it wasn't fun enough world fair you know it was like the light you know the light

00:51:31.800 in there's horace it's on a beautiful place so i'm going you know roll a pallet of celsius in there

00:51:40.020 our our fridge you know stocked with blueberries right and other berries that that was big i'm

00:51:46.520 trying to think what else we got but you also there's a darkness to it like like just some of

00:51:51.360 the snack food you know what i mean like in bulk you're like oh no there was something we saw that

00:51:56.080 i forget was something i enjoy and i was like this will harm me what do you mean like i can't

00:52:03.620 whatever i mean for me as someone that a package of something i read this thing it was like well

00:52:09.540 the add like satisfaction of completing a task leading to like literally finishing the bag of

00:52:14.220 chips oh the etc like fixing oh finishing i always yeah i always like it's just so interesting so

00:52:19.860 whatever like yeah i get no pleasure in like i don't know it's like putting it away so i'm just

00:52:25.900 Like, so if we get that, that's not going to last me longer.

00:52:29.140 Right, right, right.

00:52:30.040 I'm just going to feel sicker, faster.

00:52:31.680 Yeah.

00:52:32.280 Like, I forget what the snack was.

00:52:33.560 It might have even been like, you know, like I'll make myself sick on these dried mangoes.

00:52:37.680 Like, you know, the unsweetened, true dried mango.

00:52:39.580 Yeah, yeah.

00:52:39.940 Like, I am soaring.

00:52:42.440 They're amazing when they get you the side because they're a little tart.

00:52:45.720 They are unbelievable.

00:52:47.740 Nature's candy.

00:52:48.380 They are unbelievable.

00:52:49.600 And you know, I've been thinking about doing with dates.

00:52:51.820 Date as a sweetener, right?

00:52:53.160 Sure.

00:52:53.740 But I don't need a syrup, whatever.

00:52:55.060 Freeze the date.

00:52:55.900 And then microplane the frozen date.

00:52:59.480 Because when you try to do little pieces of a date, you know, it's sticky.

00:53:02.100 What would you microplane it onto?

00:53:03.860 My oatmeal. 1.00

00:53:05.300 By the way, bitch. 1.00

00:53:06.820 I know. 1.00

00:53:08.920 Microplane-ing a frozen date. 0.96

00:53:11.260 You little TikTok pullover.

00:53:13.480 And you know I came up with that alone.

00:53:14.940 No, I know.

00:53:15.400 Okay, thank you.

00:53:16.200 No, a TikTok core creator.

00:53:17.660 Yeah, yeah.

00:53:18.100 Can you imagine?

00:53:19.260 Maybe that is what I should be.

00:53:21.380 Do it tonight.

00:53:22.400 Freeze the date.

00:53:23.120 Yeah.

00:53:23.260 Is that it?

00:53:23.760 Keep forgetting to throw it in there.

00:53:24.720 I think that's brilliant.

00:53:25.400 I know.

00:53:26.040 I can't see.

00:53:27.200 I can't see what's wrong with that.

00:53:28.740 By the way.

00:53:29.520 Because I tear apart a date.

00:53:30.680 That's a huge idea.

00:53:31.900 And I could see restaurants taking soup.

00:53:34.840 Yeah. 1.00

00:53:35.380 Shaved with a...

00:53:36.880 Because date syrup.

00:53:38.000 Okay.

00:53:38.160 Now you've just made a new syrup.

00:53:39.580 You're going to be...

00:53:40.200 You're going to see in major restaurants.

00:53:41.820 It's not whole food.

00:53:42.680 Microplane.

00:53:43.320 I don't want to puree the date.

00:53:44.600 Because then again, I'm trying to keep it whole food.

00:53:46.480 But chopping the date is too sticky.

00:53:49.380 We'll see.

00:53:50.100 We'll see if it works.

00:53:51.240 Wait. 0.97

00:53:51.380 It's my date batarga.

00:53:53.100 Pureeing means it's no longer a whole food?

00:53:55.400 No, I mean like, okay, with the fruits and the sugars and the whole thing, right?

00:53:59.800 Or you want to keep the fiber.

00:54:00.840 If you're doing date as your sweetener instead of it, yeah.

00:54:03.680 It's like, you know, it's like you want to keep it as whole as possible.

00:54:08.180 Right, right.

00:54:09.060 So I don't understand the science of it.

00:54:11.100 A date in your mouth, chew, chew, chew, down it goes.

00:54:13.300 How is that different than if it's blended?

00:54:15.520 The structure of cellular structure changes.

00:54:16.820 Well, that's some of the argument.

00:54:18.400 They're like, you know, you got to get the Vitamix because you need to rupture the cellular structure of the greens.

00:54:23.360 But it's the opposite.

00:54:23.980 it but that's for the greens if you want it you know it's like oh yeah yeah but then i remember

00:54:27.920 reading i remember reading like like in this green smoothie book like 14 you know no i did

00:54:33.400 the thing where i tried to come up with a big number it was like actually like longer than

00:54:36.280 20 years ago or something it was like it was 45 years ago you know it was reading like green

00:54:43.720 smoothie book the whole thing and rupture the cellular structure and the whole thing to get

00:54:46.920 like the purest of the of the juice and then and then they're like and you'll want to get um

00:54:51.000 a like silicone um chewer to keep the jaw muscles from atrophying no no and you're just like so it's

00:54:58.640 a green so health is a green smoothie life plus a no no by the way the jaw needs a redux okay

00:55:06.220 no I know but like I'm realizing like it's it's so many things are wrong conscious relaxation

00:55:14.460 Ow!

00:55:16.080 Okay.

00:55:17.860 Well, these hurt the jaw.

00:55:19.960 Really?

00:55:20.740 Yeah.

00:55:21.180 All I just did then was try to open it straight and then like had a massive like pain.

00:55:25.560 Conscious relaxation of the muscles.

00:55:30.820 Noticing the tension and releasing it.

00:55:33.100 Really?

00:55:33.820 Mm-hmm.

00:55:34.460 Where's your tongue? 1.00

00:55:36.260 Roof of my mouth, bitch. 1.00

00:55:37.640 Really? You just adopted it that quick? 1.00

00:55:41.960 Mm-hmm.

00:55:42.460 I was doing an exercise last night from that guy.

00:55:44.760 I was telling you about, it was like a stretch, stretching your tongue.

00:55:48.400 It was like, and then.

00:55:49.580 You have a really pointy tongue.

00:55:51.140 Do it again. 1.00

00:55:52.220 Whoa, what the fuck? 1.00

00:55:53.960 How have I never seen that thing? 0.99

00:55:54.600 I mean, I can widen it.

00:55:55.660 No, make it as long as you can.

00:55:57.580 And maybe.

00:55:58.280 Make it as long as you can. 0.96

00:55:58.780 Maybe it's because, we'll cut it if it's disgusting.

00:56:01.680 No, make it as long as you can.

00:56:02.760 You make it as long as you can.

00:56:04.100 Can't.

00:56:04.820 What do you mean?

00:56:06.320 That's it?

00:56:07.520 Yeah.

00:56:07.760 I would.

00:56:09.640 Do it again.

00:56:10.640 Oh my God.

00:56:12.460 Go down, make it longer.

00:56:14.300 I can't. 1.00

00:56:16.640 Ow!

00:56:17.200 I felt the thing that, you know, the line under the tongue?

00:56:19.920 I felt it get caught between the front two teeth.

00:56:22.100 Oh, yeah, I hate it when that happens.

00:56:24.160 Last night I was...

00:56:25.660 The way it was the speed was the way it was tracked.

00:56:29.380 But I think also, like, just staring at something for a while, I can get, like...

00:56:32.240 No, no, I got, like, confused.

00:56:33.040 But I was, like, I was, um, last night doing, like, tongue-stretching from the sky, so maybe...

00:56:38.800 Whoa, that's why.

00:56:39.320 I was, like...

00:56:40.280 You were holding it out?

00:56:41.540 Yeah.

00:56:42.260 What is that supposed to do?

00:56:43.160 He's like, less is more with this.

00:56:44.240 Obviously, I was still going for more.

00:56:45.460 It's more.

00:56:45.740 Yeah, yeah.

00:56:46.400 You know, there's like some muscle under here.

00:56:49.440 And that was like one of his stretches was like tongue out, down, and then.

00:56:56.640 That's a classic for you.

00:56:58.120 Always.

00:56:58.520 You've been doing that since the 80s.

00:56:59.520 My tongue is being, we're putting a rectangle in front of it because like I just cannot have.

00:57:02.420 You got to show that thing on air.

00:57:03.940 No, I can't.

00:57:04.640 It's perverted.

00:57:06.080 It's a mucous membrane in there. 0.71

00:57:08.740 Mucous membranes.

00:57:09.980 Huge. 1.00

00:57:11.780 You know, like the wet shit. 1.00

00:57:14.140 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:57:14.580 Of course, though.

00:57:15.340 It's everything.

00:57:16.160 You know what I mean?

00:57:16.800 I know.

00:57:17.280 It's crazy.

00:57:19.100 Do I want to live 10 to 6 or whatever?

00:57:25.720 10 to 6, okay?

00:57:27.000 Mm-hmm.

00:57:27.580 For eight hours.

00:57:29.300 Sleeping 10 to 6?

00:57:31.140 Who goes to bed at 10?

00:57:31.900 10 p.m. to 6 a.m., right?

00:57:34.080 11 to 7.

00:57:36.720 That sounds better.

00:57:39.020 Midnight to 8.

00:57:40.480 Ooh, now we're having fun.

00:57:41.780 okay because there's a huge question actually because midnight date you go all right sounds

00:57:45.960 okay interesting now let's just go one to nine again i would say i i tend to live one to nine

00:57:51.820 but but who is that helping because here's the thing so now i'm going i need to be up

00:57:56.660 being an artist at 5 30 a.m when no one's coming for me right i'm going and have have done that 0.71

00:58:05.040 shit and then the rest of the day can come for me right right right but then what about my 0.95

00:58:10.460 night time but then when you went to bed i don't know what if i'm up at six yeah ten to six so 0.99

00:58:15.320 yeah goodbye night night hours goodbye me lying on my couch god falling asleep on the couch i've

00:58:24.400 had some ecstatic falling asleep on the couch lately it's absolute ecstasy slept two hours on

00:58:28.820 the couch asleep to dateline hmm wonderful their voices i gotta watch dateline you're on on dat

00:58:35.480 i got into it last couple years you're watching do you have hulu live tv how are you watching all

00:58:39.560 television what app pay for cable live you pay for cable i don't watch live tv oh you're watching

00:58:45.560 it on like datelines you know i have all the streaming platforms if that's what you're asking

00:58:49.960 so you're paramount plus mountain of entertainment you're streaming dateline boy did i laugh and laugh

00:58:54.560 when they came out of that line and now i like it a mountain of entertainment i've never i didn't

00:58:58.480 know that was the line someone like me had to deliver that right like in a meeting yeah and

00:59:03.020 just be like here it is and it's like that's a real like laugher but also do all the streamers

00:59:08.160 have a tag yeah what's netflix no netflix has nothing they have the signature sound what does

00:59:16.760 yeah they have the color red the amazon logo is a dick we've talked about this 1.00

00:59:20.840 no the head of a penis ew i can't picture it it's like a soft arrow the head of a penis 1.00

00:59:26.980 ew flying through the air a soft arrow yeah it's interesting 1.00

00:59:34.200 i'm not gonna fucking what am i gonna have to do more content on 0.97

00:59:39.560 i was like i literally it's interesting i just had an idea about a fucking you know 0.98

00:59:46.060 about the shape of a penis like really like anything is like no i didn't cover it what was 0.97

00:59:52.820 it i was thinking because i was like wait what is the amazon and i couldn't really picture i was 0.53

00:59:57.240 sort of like is it a softish it's a softened arrow is kind of what i was picturing and i was like 0.92

01:00:01.560 That's kind of like a funny metaphor for a penis, like a soft arrow. 0.96

01:00:04.300 Right, right. 0.99

01:00:04.600 And I was like, why am I saying arrow, right?

01:00:06.000 And yes, it's like lightly arrow, right?

01:00:08.940 Because I was thinking like directionality, right? 0.97

01:00:10.800 Like the penis inherently has like directionality and it's like that way, right? 0.92

01:00:16.200 Which I guess is because things come out of it and it like goes into things, right? 0.65

01:00:20.960 But if you sort of like reorient the penis like inward, I don't mean push it back in. 0.70

01:00:25.640 I mean like, yeah, like just things having directionality. 0.98

01:00:28.580 Yeah, it's crazy.

01:00:29.840 Like, I guess, I guess anything that something flows through kind of inherently a nose, right?

01:00:34.460 You don't think of a nose as being something like flying into the brain.

01:00:39.780 Right.

01:00:40.080 Even though you do inhale, actually.

01:00:41.500 Yeah.

01:00:41.960 Don't you kind of think the nose is down?

01:00:43.820 Yeah, I do.

01:00:47.100 I don't know.

01:00:48.020 There's something about that, but like a soft arrow.

01:00:50.460 Well, I guess we should go.

01:00:53.280 Should we?

01:00:54.260 Yeah.

01:00:55.140 Love you.

01:00:55.700 Love you.

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Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - February 25, 2025

A Very Small Big Dipper

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Transcript