Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - November 09, 2020


Introducingļ¼š POOG

Psychic Warfare

Episode Stats


Length

3 minutes

Words per minute

200.34

Word count

676

Sentence count

28


Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
00:00:00.000 I'm Kate Berlant and I'm Jacqueline Novak.
00:00:03.840 We're Comedians who made a podcast tracking our obsession with wellness.
00:00:07.960 Look, we're healthy. We're happy.
00:00:09.540 We are not sick.
00:00:10.500 Nonetheless, we're looking to heal.
00:00:11.880 We are looking to heal.
00:00:12.820 Why? You know, we're addicted to wellness.
00:00:14.720 This is our hobby.
00:00:15.620 This is our health.
00:00:16.460 This is our naked desire for free products.
00:00:18.940 This is POOG.
00:00:20.360 That's P-O-O-G.
00:00:22.280 POOG.
00:00:23.060 With the Big Money Players Network and iHeartRadio.
00:00:26.460 Here's a little snippet.
00:00:28.300 When I buy a dairy-free yogurt and I'm excited to try it, I know that I'm chasing a hungry
00:00:33.180 ghost that will never be fed.
00:00:34.440 Yes.
00:00:34.760 Right?
00:00:34.920 There's part of me that knows that, yes, maybe I should cut back on dairy, but really, what
00:00:39.200 am I actually chasing?
00:00:40.400 Right?
00:00:40.560 Because again, I, of course, tragically do not have a food allergy.
00:00:43.920 This isn't actually about something as simple as a dairy allergy.
00:00:47.320 It's never the dairy allergy.
00:00:48.460 It's your father never even remotely being interested in anything you ever have to say.
00:00:53.980 It's not the dairy.
00:00:55.040 it's daddy but the dairy's not helping either no exactly we are gonna be living inside the line
00:01:03.340 between is it the dairy or isn't it the dairy okay it's a sweet spot of asking the question
00:01:08.640 it's the mystery i want to live in the mystery don't get me started i want to go on the journey
00:01:12.440 right i want to be called into the tent of the snake oil salesman of the oh oh a charlatan the
00:01:18.160 trade show's full of charlatans you say let's go in no we want to believe this is not a show
00:01:22.960 we're not myth busting like crystals are fake it's like everyone knows that no we're not like
00:01:27.760 here to laugh at crystals okay no i'm not so uninteresting so deeply we will take down xanthan
00:01:33.040 gum or is that the good one i want to take down the additive they're added to to net milks
00:01:38.200 guar gum carrageenan i want to take down natural flavors right i want to take down yes you know
00:01:44.660 everyone now oh mushroom powders right cordyceps and lion's mane and then you turn over the package
00:01:49.520 and you go oh really it looks like one of the main predominant ingredients in this mushroom
00:01:53.240 powder is brown rice so how do you sleep at night oh it's funny because it's similar to um
00:01:58.260 the big cauli brands the big cauliflower pizza crusts that are literally 99 percent white rice
00:02:06.020 you can imagine oh it's a cauliflower crust for you keto head no it's and i want to say like let's
00:02:12.180 be clear we are going to get bogged down in the world of like the juice cleanse like i do want to
00:02:16.920 do some horrifying five-day fasting mimicking cleanse as do i like i do want to try that out
00:02:22.240 i want to try everything i don't i'm not looking for the one solution because that would end the
00:02:26.140 search that would end the podcast right of course to me it's a joy to briefly believe that there is
00:02:30.360 something that will cause uh all the pain to go away and then to seek out the most optimized lowest
00:02:36.440 cost uh easily accessible and attractive version of that thing and that is poo i hope it could be
00:02:42.180 reprieve for those who are consumerist hogs to get into the product descriptions you know what
00:02:47.820 i mean compare reviews whatever just like get in the muck of we're at dinner others are bored
00:02:53.840 because we are staring into each other's eyes screaming about which non-sugar sweetener is the
00:03:00.140 least toxic monk fruit in my opinion this is where we vary we have a erythritol stevia blend and i
00:03:06.620 have never been on the stevia train okay but actually that's not exactly true though we
00:03:11.920 suffer from no ailments we are looking to heal for us salvation lies in the next product practice
00:03:17.500 or potion this is poog on the iheart radio app or wherever you get your podcasts