00:00:26.780in the last few weeks or days the like i must remember this i will remember this to talk about
00:00:33.980with kate and it's like i can feel like the shape of an idea it's really maddening and this is why
00:00:42.480my only answer will be journal around the neck right i mean you know i'm in new york i don't
00:00:49.120have any my my vests i've got a little phone note and i've got one too i guess technically
00:00:55.220I made it up today, earlier today, because I was in the field and I was like, I want to discuss being kissed on the cheek by men, obviously.
00:01:05.300So, first of all, I really like the European greeting of, you know, like I think that's classy.
00:01:24.840The whole, exactly. The whole point of the, or even the single, you're not actually laying your fucking lips on the person's cheek. You are going cheek to cheek, making the sound.0.99
00:11:41.060They sell other milks, but you know I love Plant Strong, the Esselstyn family.
00:11:45.160And then I, what is the one I really trust?
00:11:47.720oh like new eden or eden eden yeah yeah yeah that's what they have at kettle it's very 70s
00:11:54.180it's organic yep organic unsweetened you know i'm like do i also eat their beans is that the same
00:12:00.380brand could be i mean soy bean yeah so i'm just thinking us soy us pushing soy is very exciting
00:12:10.020I agree. Soy sisters instead of soul sisters, soy sisters. Tag your soy sister. Soy on the brain. Tag your soy sister. Because I'm just thinking we push soy in here. Okay. Like calling all soy merchants.
00:12:27.880We go through a lot of soy in our house, okay, to the point where every time we're at the market, we have to get it, okay?
00:12:36.060So I'm thinking the right brand, I'm going to need it in bulk, and that means some kind of, I don't know, I'm just thinking the right purveyor.
00:12:45.960I'm thinking slash hags, you know.0.94
00:15:15.640Right. So, you know, the gardener, hi, Jacqueline and Chris, I'm going to be coming by the house today around six to water the plants outside.
00:15:23.140Great. And then, hey, how are the plants inside? Do I need to come in and water them?
00:15:27.720Now, the house manager had said to us, like, if you want to water the plants inside, you can, but also just let him do it.
00:15:35.100Because I was like, I get nervous. Like, I always think I'm going to overwater a plant.
00:15:39.380so i wrote while trying to stay on the podcast i wrote unsure i'm bad with plants please do come
00:15:45.980in that was my quick and then i just wrote literally stealing like i just grow i tend
00:15:51.000to over or under and it's not gone well yeah i mean but you're fine that's it i just like
00:15:58.400it's more that i'm like confused by him like asking because i'm just like either we are or
00:16:03.680not or are not responsible for them you're not because there's a gardener who's gonna come and
00:16:08.240do them he's like sort of like trying to make me i think water them yeah i mean i'm so i was about
00:16:15.360to this is like me rushing to be liked i was about to be like you know if you want to come in
00:16:20.280and show me exactly the amounts you know i'll do it but no i think i think you can absolutely say
00:16:25.120like this is really not my forte at all you know what i mean so i'm gonna let that um sit there
00:22:05.500I'm like, even, like, I would tend to think that two seconds even of terror, like, one Mississippi, two Mississippi, as the anvil is falling from the window towards me, like, that that would be, like, plenty of time to really be disturbed and sad and all this kind of stuff.
00:22:21.060but falling backwards like that i was like no you're in like a you're just in a slightly
00:22:27.460different state it's like you're in your body just handling doing what it can yeah and i found
00:22:34.100that comforting i was like that was a good two seconds and i was completely consumed by the fall
00:22:38.940in a way that didn't that was not existential that gave me peace about like you can fall
00:22:44.420scary deaths yeah yeah oh my god yeah you know that it would just be like what's all thought
00:22:49.060you know like yeah best case scenarios oh god yeah well best case scenario just and then i
00:22:56.640sat there going why have i been thrown from the desk twice yeah what is just something with the
00:23:01.640chair i'm supposed to sit here and i i stayed there and you know chris appears and you know
00:23:08.440i don't know why i i yelled for you you know yeah okay i didn't hear you you know whatever
00:23:13.800yeah and then and then i'm like i'm like and he's like here why don't you get up and i'm like no
00:23:19.580okay i was like stuck in this position where my foot was like i was still sort of like mangled
00:23:26.960loosely in the chair but i was sort of like into staying there like i was like there's something to
00:23:32.720this like stay down that's supposed to be here yeah yeah zen
00:23:36.680sometimes exercise is the 10 minutes i'm dragging my suitcase through the streets of paris to get
00:23:48.740to my airbnb sometimes it's two hours in the studio look maybe you're already putting in the
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00:26:38.520Well, I opened it up and I look at the table of contents and I couldn't resist jumping ahead, you know, because I see this thing.
00:26:44.400It's like one part's like the corridor, one part's like the stone, and this other part is like the black book.
00:26:50.360And, you know, there's all this witchy stuff where, you know, you create a cloth sack and you purchase dirt by which from a crossroads to like charge all these objects up and consecrate them.
00:27:06.680And it's like you go to a crossroads, whether it's a path in a park, whatever.
00:27:11.260and you you dig up a little little dirt and you put three you have to pay for it with three silver
00:27:17.200coins so like they're like dimes will work just fine and they're like don't do it on the way to0.56
00:27:22.420sign they're like go out on dirks seeking mission and then like put some of your bodily fluids in
00:27:27.160it and they're like whatever you're comfortable with you know oh my god they're like that creates
00:27:30.820a connection so there's this very like very like witch kind of you know magical workings part of
00:27:37.880it but then there's you know i read things without like like particularly anything with like any sort
00:27:45.860of magical claim without like researching the author okay and so sometimes i feel like almost
00:27:51.460self-conscious like i'm starting to talk about this i'm saying the name of the book and someone
00:27:54.300could do research and be like you know oh god well that person was you know a murderer and uh
00:28:00.800right of course you know what i mean or whatever i'm very like you know i'm just saying that it's0.60
00:28:07.340sort of a caveat that i just fucking like read things you know what i mean so anyway it's not0.53
00:28:12.880an endorsement okay i'm just telling you what what what what has passed my eyes so so so then0.81
00:28:18.980this is all kind of about like charging up the black the black book and and then the black book
00:28:24.980you consecrate a particular pen which excited me and there's a practice with the black book
00:28:31.260with weaving fates that's like these journal entries where you're you know writing about the
00:28:37.140past but in this kind of like you know like manifest-y kind of way but it's like literally
00:28:43.860like like there was this example like this woman like dear diary you know like i had the most
00:28:48.360incredible day like i was offered this job like whatever you know what i mean it's like and then
00:28:52.940they keep doing it but it's more playful than that and it goes through and it's like okay that's a
00:28:56.440little narrow that's a little not really felt sense like like you know you want to play okay
00:29:02.680you want to get in there and if you decide like like you could try stuff out in there and then
00:29:06.140decide you don't like it and then you can put a huge the words cancel across it like you're not
00:29:10.920trying to do that thing but but this example had like this woman describing like getting started
00:29:15.440taking like boxing classes and then and then boy did she have a strong hit and like the teacher0.99
00:29:21.180said this and all this kind of stuff and it was sort of like now is this woman like does she
00:29:24.820actually want to start taking fighting classes or is this just something that really scares her
00:29:28.640and so she's journaling out as though she's gone through this process and it's all been great
00:29:33.420it's very realistic way it's like carving out new possibilities for the self by writing about
00:29:40.320it in the past tense like in detail it's it makes sense when you're reading it you're like oh yeah
00:29:46.680like it's very it's very interesting oh and then i ran the five minute mile or whatever yeah yeah
00:29:53.680You know, but it's like, so there's that. And then, I mean, I can't remember if I talked on the pod or not about retrocausality. I mean, I know I said it like a minute ago, but it's like, right now I'm just like, I'm reading a lot of stuff about sort of like, not just sort of like theoretical or even like real quantum physics, like not so much of that kind of stuff about like time.
00:30:19.860I'm more like getting in the dirt with the witches on it.
00:30:42.060In some scenario if it's, you know, that shit is not supposed to be limited by time and space.0.96
00:30:48.340So arguably you absolutely can, you know, send like, send like a message to yourself in the past as a child, like almost like you're going to be all right or something.0.97
00:31:00.120And then, you know, the effects of this, it's all this kind of time loop stuff that is exactly what I need at the end of the day to unwind and get out of the day.
00:31:13.420Like it's literally like it's the best because it's how I transition to sleep.
00:31:17.460i'm like i read about this stuff i get like whoa totally and then drift right off and then i want
00:31:25.060a journey to other realms quick story we all love a period story on poog um so i classic day two of
00:31:34.900my period going to the beach which by the way advertising is so deep in our personal language
00:31:41.000or internal language that i was like it really is a tampon commercial isn't it here i am on the beach0.96
00:31:46.560and a tampon or whatever the fuck so but the point is those close to me know i'm heavy the0.97
00:31:53.000first couple days and um i so i'm in the bikini standing packed beach right i'm standing there0.86
00:32:02.380facing the water with some friends by the way there was a really serious riptide warning that
00:32:08.760day so we weren't going like all the way in and there were lifeguards on duty coming out telling
00:32:12.780people like get the fuck out like it was serious yeah so we're kind of just going up to our knees
00:32:17.420and he's like you kind of feel the current like pulling like it's yeah it's like terrifying okay0.98
00:32:21.880so we're standing there facing the ocean I feel a tap of my shoulder I turn around there's a woman
00:32:28.480maybe you know in her late 40s I go oh that's sweet a fan she goes hi um there's blood running
00:32:37.500all down the back of your leg you're and i oh my god oh my god i thank you thank you i start
00:32:45.980backing into the ocean my back to the ocean so fast into the riptide right by the way knocked
00:32:53.580down pulled not not far out but started to be i was knocked down i'm starting to be pulled
00:32:59.720and it was like all to avoid the embarrassment of blood i mean it's so funny and here's what
00:33:06.080was liberating so it's never happened to me since you know since you turned 13 once you're you know
00:33:11.520the fear of bleeding of public oh my god right it happened to me right for the first time at this
00:33:17.780age here i was standing on the beach in the bikini stranger hey you're bleeding down your0.98
00:33:22.940fucking leg okay i was like it was amazing my instinct was run disappear into the ocean0.99
00:33:32.160i didn't feel i wouldn't say i felt embarrassed i wouldn't say i felt shame but it was like right0.99
00:33:38.520something overtook me run into the sea and then i of course was like to i was like i was like walk
00:33:45.600behind me check and then it was like fine but it was like you know i was like walk behind me check
00:33:49.980me you know i didn't want to be walking all the way back to the blanket but then i and then i was
00:33:54.620fine but i just thought it was interesting to face that now i mean i wonder um i'm trying to
00:34:05.000think if i've ever had i don't think i've ever had anyone else yeah a stranger to tell me which
00:34:11.260i appreciated you know i fairly regularly straight through the jeans yeah like and it's almost like
00:34:18.940like the other day i was like it's like i noticed it's happening get distracted okay
00:34:24.540just straight up get distracted and then i'm like oh okay and i look down and it's sort of like
00:34:30.580it's kind of incredible though i will say it with jeans it's almost like for the most part
00:34:36.220the place that you can take it that it goes through is not that visible when you're standing
00:34:42.960like usually yeah usually it's like there's also something i think like there's something about
00:34:49.360like the period blood soaking through whatever like the jeans or the underwear or whatever it0.97
00:34:53.960is like visible from behind when it is when it's kind of up like heading towards the ass right0.95
00:34:58.980there's something about that that's almost like i feel like it has a different quality of shame to0.92
00:35:06.900it because it's like if it was pristinely in the center like straight down to the earth but there's0.99
00:35:15.000something about it like making its way up that it's kind of like headed towards the ass like0.92
00:35:19.160like the stain being in that kind of like not in the bottom but like here like out of 45 to like0.98
00:35:24.420the earth yeah it's like shameful somehow like it's like well i have the most the strongest
00:35:29.920memory of the head of my middle school walking down the hall in khakis with blood she was bleeding
00:35:34.960to her head head of the middle school mistress head mistress of middle school and all girls
00:35:39.940school all of us like oh my god she is black and it was like really formative i think for me i mean
00:35:46.220hugely because and i remember feeling bad for her you know it's like people like seeing their0.97
00:35:51.860teacher at the grocery store freaks like the shit out of people like when you walk in on your two0.88
00:35:55.760teacher's fucking um but yeah but i also and then i like intellectually i think that i'm0.99
00:36:06.200like i wouldn't be that freaked out like i'm kind of like i'm like chris bring a shirt or whatever0.98
00:36:11.960like i'm like so i can wrap it around myself like i'm not even like leaving the cafe i'm just kind
00:36:16.220of like it's sort of in this i don't know the other thing though like i like what rules me more
00:36:23.120is I hesitate before sitting on almost any light-colored sofa or chair in life.