Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - The Myth of the Heckler

00:00:00.760 Hi, I'm Kate Berlant.

00:00:02.340 I'm Jacqueline Novak.

00:00:03.440 And this is POOG, an ongoing conversation about wellness between two obsessive friends.

00:00:08.160 Two untameable intellects.

00:00:09.940 This is our hobby. 0.93

00:00:10.780 This is our hell.

00:00:11.640 This is our naked desire for free products.

00:00:13.940 This is POOG.

00:00:15.360 Today's topic, loosely speaking.

00:00:17.360 Nectarine salad.

00:00:18.920 Lash.

00:00:20.060 Uncharmable.

00:00:24.820 How are you? 0.85

00:00:26.740 Um, I mean, I'm miserable. 1.00

00:00:29.480 but I'm also fine you know what I mean yeah Jacqueline has shingles to be clear she has a

00:00:35.520 non the non horrifying it's in your eye it's on your face shingles but still horrifying nonetheless

00:00:42.000 yeah it's a light rash on the um on the ribs but I thought it was back pain for a couple days

00:00:50.520 blah blah blah and then uh wait this end yeah it turned off just taking my

00:00:55.200 thing off here so i've just powered up the brain we're going on a cellular level in my

00:01:03.340 v-light whatever are you really on that thing arguably well i missed like two weeks but i was

00:01:10.420 putting it out like a big shite and um you know so i'm back on but uh and then i have a new device

00:01:19.400 that i purchased out of pocket what is it um there's so much we haven't recorded i don't 0.91

00:01:26.440 think we've ever gone this long without recording don't you agree i don't know i think i'm not sure

00:01:33.120 maybe i think so because there's so much that there is a lot so it's it's it's endless because

00:01:41.420 the last one that was was um called like special prep and it was before you're recording your

00:01:47.640 special okay so yeah like a month a little over a month ago and we were talking about like you know

00:01:53.180 the wedding right like what am i doing i'm going and yes yes um and i think you talked about your

00:01:58.720 scrub yeah jacqueline i'll just say quickly jacqueline jacqueline was at my my special 0.65

00:02:04.720 tapings and she became a genius audience coordinator and was the backbone of my emotional

00:02:10.400 well-being it was the honor of my life now what was wild about it was a couple things but

00:02:15.440 i was i sprung into action you gave me you know permission after the first night whatever but you

00:02:26.100 i sprung into action with the but you weren't around because obviously you were in the green

00:02:31.100 room and stuff so i had to brazenly make choices literally without consulting you at all which is

00:02:36.260 actually the only way you know what i mean it was amazing just so the listener understands

00:02:39.960 my first night of my show my special taping I had a heckler which has essentially never happened

00:02:46.940 it never happens in comedy generally like the myth of the heckler but I came on stage and

00:02:53.560 before I opened my mouth I noticed oh no we've got a lunatic because there was a woman and she 0.89

00:02:58.820 had her drink on my stage like she rested her drink on the stage which is like obviously like 1.00

00:03:05.120 the most rude unimaginable thing let alone the fact it would be rude if it were just a regular

00:03:10.500 show right but there's like there's cameras everywhere you're fully aware like so crazy

00:03:15.640 and then within five minutes of getting on state of doing my stand-up she's like talking to me

00:03:22.420 she's like reacting in real time like I'm saying like you know and she's going huh what I don't 0.57

00:03:28.440 know that and then she wouldn't stop she did it again and then I thank god I looked at her I was

00:03:33.300 like you have to stop and then she did but it was terrifying I spent the rest of the show

00:03:36.840 completely consumed with anxiety she would start talking again it did derail basically the whole

00:03:42.420 show for me I would say it ends up being fine like and thank god the odd no one really knew

00:03:47.340 because it's a small space the only people that were aware of her talking to me it was like the

00:03:51.880 first two rows yeah no no because I was in the back and you couldn't hear anything or whatever

00:03:57.520 i just know you and i literally saw the tiniest you gotta stop or like stop yeah it's like so

00:04:05.520 small and um it's funny like i have video of one of my special recordings like like a like me full

00:04:13.360 on like going after these people because they were just like talking like in the first balcony just

00:04:18.660 like each other like they were that's so crazy what is wrong with people like full muppets like

00:04:23.560 and but anyway it was like i'm just going how is that happening i have to step in

00:04:30.940 certain things only another comedian can understand and understand and so i took on

00:04:36.700 my greatest honor which is to see a comedy special midwife um but the crowds were were

00:04:43.600 wonderful everyone was great again it's it's i mean how long have i been doing stand-up it's like

00:04:48.620 on it's so it's like almost never happened people really know how to behave but every now and then 1.00

00:04:54.620 you get someone who I it's beyond comprehension but I met a lot of hags in the audience and I just 0.99

00:05:00.420 it became you know just making sure that anyone particularly in the front understood it's like 1.00

00:05:09.460 we're all on the same team here you know they understand like I start to go up to them like

00:05:13.880 hey just you know they're like laugh a lot I'm like don't know don't worry about like just you

00:05:17.820 know what i mean because like hey guys we really need laughs here i know you're fine i'm just like

00:05:24.300 yeah just like you know don't respond verbally to to anything like which everyone understands

00:05:29.960 and they all acted like yeah of course i was like you'd be surprised no no you you i really

00:05:35.800 appreciate you really fun doing that it was immensely satisfying i had to tell a couple

00:05:41.540 like children in the back i went then i went row by row it's like once you're already doing it went

00:05:48.120 row by row with them telling people to power down their phones not just like sort of silence them

00:05:53.720 and then an alarm goes off and you know all sorts of stuff whatever it was it was an absolute blast

00:05:58.720 no special it'll be out in time but you you were amazing and the and the best thing was after i

00:06:03.280 being able after i'm done being with jacklyn going to swingers two couples yeah going to swingers

00:06:10.640 reflecting on a while an evening of wild success it was beautiful but jacqueline i'm making days to

00:06:18.300 hear that i fell ill jacqueline novak i know i know she fell ill so obviously this is a i joke

00:06:25.460 because illness you know you can't as carolyn you can't reason with illness okay and and the blame

00:06:31.380 and all that kind of stuff but just as a gag i'm gonna say like guys i failed us i fell ill okay

00:06:37.680 by which i mean to to shingles which you know it's just a shock because it's it's like you know

00:06:44.240 berlant right walks around terrified of illness coming in from the outside right meanwhile like

00:06:49.600 shingles is like is like you know the calls coming from inside the house but i don't understand

00:06:54.720 because you're young for shingles what i don't understand is they say get john early got at 18

00:06:58.820 no stop so the reason that it's associated with old age so so so you can't get the vaccine like

00:07:06.380 they give it to you in your 50s yeah and but you know on reddit and everywhere it's like and the

00:07:12.260 doctors they're like younger and younger the reason that it's associated with older is because

00:07:17.780 people's immune systems and their just ability to fight things off is weaker okay so so this is why

00:07:23.840 i'm calling it a failure you know i'm like so my immune system's weak i mean stress that you know

00:07:30.540 stress they're like you're you're stressed and then what shingles is just in case anyone doesn't

00:07:35.680 realize the chicken pox virus when if you have it when your child as i did yeah me too okay most

00:07:42.600 very common um it doesn't you know ever completely leave the system it hides in like uh in the

00:07:50.620 vertebrae or the or it's not exactly the vertebrae but it's essentially to the side of one of the

00:07:55.720 vertebrae okay and then years later you know you're weak you're stressed it has a chance a

00:08:03.060 foothold to finally okay and then it travels down that particular vertebrae's nerve line which that's

00:08:10.940 why it's called the shingles because it's just a band that goes around the rib because that's where

00:08:17.760 the nerve goes and they call them dermatones so like the body has these stripes of of the skin

00:08:24.180 that are like related to the nerve that lies underneath it kind of deep deep underneath it

00:08:28.540 so anyway so you get the rash and how much pain are you in well for like two days maybe as longer

00:08:37.700 I want it to be two days because I wouldn't believe that I got on the antivirals within

00:08:41.220 72 hours so I'm already like I'm like pushing it but I'm like several days before I had like back

00:08:48.520 pain that was like keeping me up at night which normally it doesn't normally if I have like you

00:08:52.940 know a pulled muscle or something and I actually woke in the night like

00:08:57.500 with a with my usual spot kind of which happens to be that same area

00:09:04.240 which actually makes you wonder you know maybe that's why anyway and I had this annoying back

00:09:12.160 ache that was in this area that was different than normal such that I was laying on my you

00:09:18.460 my foot thing my chi vitalizer probe obviously that dances my feet wildly i was sticking my back

00:09:24.040 on it okay and having it send me back and forth to try to get out this feeling that was really

00:09:29.480 unpleasant and then googling trying to find um like i'm always looking up you know trigger points

00:09:36.060 and like okay this pain in this spot what's the other spot i need to massage the thing

00:09:40.440 and the ai is like you know blah blah blah but just in case you because i'm oh because it's

00:09:46.900 wrapping around to the rib so i'm like you know trigger point wrapping around to the rib google

00:09:52.780 ai which is like trash and you know blah blah okay i'm just but it's at the top of google me 0.95

00:09:58.260 googling my thing and it's like not in a lumbering way but it is like trash because only because you

00:10:04.580 mentioned it wrapping around from the back to the rib it was like just you know if there's a rash

00:10:09.200 you know just consider if if that you know shingles right and i was like oh whatever and

00:10:15.780 then I'm like I mean I don't think I have a rash I go I lift up the shirt tiniest bit tiniest redness

00:10:22.200 of like so normal variety of nothing oh my god I go it's because I've been rubbing the area wildly

00:10:28.920 like trying to work the muscle right my skin like you know if I scratch it it like welts yeah so I

00:10:33.600 was like I'm not touching it whatever if it's there tomorrow there tomorrow a little worse

00:10:40.140 so that evening I went to the doctor I went to urgent care you know it was like this quiet

00:10:46.940 Beverly Hills summer evening beautiful where that car it's like it's like the urgent care

00:10:53.480 second floor it's like a gleaming car dealership on the first floor there's just something about it

00:10:57.560 go up there it's like I don't know it's a weird feeling sometimes in summer when you're in a

00:11:02.600 setting that is not like fun summer times you know like you didn't leave the city you didn't

00:11:08.740 go to the beach you're just sort of I don't know it's like a very specific feeling it's almost kind

00:11:13.880 of comforting and so so I go in and you know they're like it could be a couple hours I'm like

00:11:21.520 whatever but I read if it is shingles and you get on the antivirals within 72 hours

00:11:27.720 huge difference so I was like I'm waiting meanwhile I got in pretty quick

00:11:33.480 okay huge news this is the same urgent care i went went to when i was sick and i don't remember

00:11:41.160 what it was oh with the nose drip yes that's what it was the eustachian tube dysfunction okay

00:11:46.040 i see the tiniest swiftest motion of a hard plastic thing going over the thermometer god

00:11:54.140 i go maybe i missed it last time yeah i missed it again

00:11:58.420 i don't know but yeah it's hard to say okay because i was sure i didn't miss it but anyway

00:12:06.260 the nurse is good and she's like this doctor is brilliant okay i'm like oh weird like crush

00:12:13.880 yeah she's like you know she didn't say you're gonna love him she's like okay you're gonna be

00:12:18.240 seeing dr santa he's um he's incredible is he gorgeous

00:12:21.080 no I was just imagining like you know like that um I'm like Kate I didn't notice his looks okay

00:12:31.260 no no no it wasn't no but I figured it out okay I figured out why she was doing that

00:12:36.120 it's because he has sort of an affect some might find off-putting I think okay like what just

00:12:44.140 just like kind of flat like just kind of giving you nothing kind of uncharming you know oh you

00:12:50.340 know like now i can sort of get into that in this other way like so so this i think did you crack

00:12:57.640 him i'll tell you it anyway like oh no well this was such a joke i sort of didn't crack him okay

00:13:03.280 and i continued like a like a to try soft shoeing act me too every time the entire way now to the

00:13:11.920 point where i was essentially doing harder no i go i was doing monologues while he said nothing

00:13:17.180 okay filling the air okay and at one point I approached his desk okay

00:13:24.840 and because he hadn't gotten up I was like well it's just you know I think and I started pulling

00:13:30.920 up my shirt to show him the thing he's like I'll examine you in a minute okay oh my god yeah yeah

00:13:35.940 this is a question point so I did a thing which was like we've talked about this a lot but you

00:13:41.540 know like the hysterical housewife the old days you know it's like it was like oh did you go on

00:13:46.780 web md you know googling your symptoms what a nightmare the the housewife okay now at least

00:13:52.720 they just that's so over i don't even expect it they expect it it's not like whatever and so

00:14:00.260 i go look and this is almost embarrassing because like the word punchline slipped out okay okay you

00:14:07.000 know like like like and then later you find out i'm a comedian it's like jesus she used used the

00:14:12.260 word punch before early yeah because i was like i was like look like because like what brings you

00:14:19.180 here today or whatever you know a lot i'm like i'm like look i i'm not gonna i almost said something

00:14:25.580 like hide the punch line or something okay i was like yeah i was like i'm gonna be real with you

00:14:29.720 i think i have shingles you know like i'm not like but i'm gonna now i'll take you back right

00:14:36.280 and you know i say what i say he asks the questions and every single one and it becomes

00:14:43.300 like oh a lot of pharmaceuticals or something like he's like are you on all of these i'm like

00:14:47.500 you know whatever we start going through those he asks like variety of questions and like you know

00:14:54.740 he's like yes or no we'll do okay oh my god i think made a comment about having to see other

00:15:01.900 people okay and i'm like i just treat every question as like it could be important or why

00:15:08.660 are they asking kind of like yeah wait but are you on list dex amphetamine and i'm like i mean

00:15:15.100 i have prescription for it i took one yesterday and haven't three months before like i don't yeah

00:15:19.760 like yes or no it's just like whatever sorry this is like boring yes or no we'll do yeah yeah like 0.84

00:15:25.260 and i was like right right right i always forget that you know like okay like just shit like that 0.87

00:15:30.580 right point is whatever goes on ha ha you know i'm doing my my shtick nothing he finally comes 0.95

00:15:35.680 over examines me and then he's like yep oh i agree with your diagnosis wow how exciting i was soaring

00:15:45.100 yeah i was like you know you know i live for this right when when it's a couple of scott when it's

00:15:52.060 a couple of gentlemen and i'm included you know like chris said it the other day or i forget just

00:15:57.360 and he knew i'd love it you know referred to us as a couple of gentlemen in some context right

00:16:01.260 yeah yeah and i was so happy and uh i i came out like unable to like beaming you know and he's like

00:16:09.360 we'll get you the prescription whatever i was like is it gonna get a little worse before it

00:16:13.580 gets a little better if i said is it gonna be you know is this gonna be hell or something he

00:16:17.120 you know i was trying to be like whatever and uh he's like and then it'll get a little worse

00:16:22.840 before it gets better it's true whatever okay so so anyway the pain it's just like it's the

00:16:27.400 weirdest thing because it's such an odd ailment because it's this internal thing yet it goes all

00:16:36.440 the way to the surface of the skin so anyway it's just like pain under the rib and around the back

00:16:42.060 that feels kind of like i mean some people are like i've never felt pain worse than childbirth

00:16:47.340 and blah blah blah like that I don't understand I was not yeah I mean I mean I understand

00:16:52.660 it was varying degrees I mean is I don't want to claim I had that at all yes it was totally fine

00:16:58.760 if like I would take the Advil it was a lot better I yeah burn it's sort of like burning

00:17:04.720 itching and sensitive but also under the skin sort of paint whatever it's just bizarre and

00:17:10.100 and then like the Advil and this lidocaine cream was you know I put the lidocaine cream

00:17:16.860 it menthols it all up and that pretty much took care of it like you know it's like I couldn't

00:17:22.900 really like I showered and it was like you know and so I was like and then and Chris had to leave

00:17:30.400 so it was sort of like um for a week and so then it then it went into sort of like in a cave with

00:17:39.580 my sickness and there were like a couple days I didn't make it out like you know like even to like

00:17:44.720 the front to get a little sun in the end it's okay you know it's just like and then

00:17:50.740 oh but you know a lot of walking around going like before chris left going like i have shingles

00:18:00.180 yeah totally totally coming out coming out of the bathroom like upstairs like he hears me like i'm

00:18:04.900 like can you believe i have shingles yeah yeah and whatever and um yeah and and then and then

00:18:13.020 the biggest effect is like you know feeling just sort of vaguely like shit tired like would go on

00:18:18.180 a walk got like really tired from like a walk and then just the mood just you know the mood

00:18:26.400 of course primary worst of all you seem great now well you're going to see the odyssey tonight

00:18:34.160 i know i was like less than i was like i don't know that i can say it i was like you know like

00:18:39.060 because it was almost like chris's back you know i had this idea that i'm going to see the odyssey

00:18:42.780 you know and i'm like i still feel like shit like i'm like no one realizes like i'm like i'm like

00:18:48.320 i'm alone in my illness like because you know i again i'm still saying i'm supposed to leave

00:18:53.800 tomorrow for for tour date i think seeing the odyssey is actually going to help you

00:18:57.960 you'd think that okay no absolutely and and i i think like being in the chair and enjoying it

00:19:06.520 and whatever you know it's all fine but it's just I'm like I gotta get a handle on the stress

00:19:13.680 particularly when it's like you go like so I was home for a month like with a cleared schedule

00:19:19.740 basically to do nothing like you know other than well you know work on writing and it's like

00:19:27.560 me alone facing myself greatest greatest stress and challenge like

00:19:34.380 mastery of the self you know what I mean alone with my own creative work

00:19:40.200 in agony oh yeah of course it's just so anyway I was like got to commit to that I've really got

00:19:49.320 to find a way out of um I mean I just is it seriously meditation it's just no let me guess

00:19:57.080 it's let me guess it's it's brunch at Kate's yeah it's community community is real okay

00:20:05.080 you know but then you go the other way and you're like you know I have certain needs you know there

00:20:12.060 was even a piece in my solitude that after a few days I'm like oh wow I need a lot I need so much

00:20:19.560 solitude to finally come home to myself i have no answers why would we you're on the way you're

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00:25:15.200 can i break in with a restaurant story i think the listeners would be thrilled well listen i'm

00:25:25.200 gonna hide the name of this restaurant because it's a restaurant that yeah and by it's not jar

00:25:30.040 are okay but it's like it's a restaurant and I'm just going to tell you quickly what happened

00:25:35.300 so first of all sending food back not what I do generally whatever unless it's egregious so

00:25:43.420 let's just say this I'm at a nice restaurant at a high-end restaurant that I've been to several

00:25:48.180 countless times and we're looking at appetizers and there's a salad that says nectarine nectarine

00:25:55.840 salad. And I said, this is like almost a month. This was a month ago. I said, God, nectarines.

00:26:00.280 And I remarked to my partner, it's a little early for nectarines. Nectarines are high summer. We're

00:26:05.620 talking about late July, August, right? But I go, this place is so nice. If they have a nectarine

00:26:10.840 salad on the menu, they must have great nectarines. So I go, cause we're ordering, we order three

00:26:17.120 salads and I go, you know what? We ordered two. I go, fuck it. I want the nectarine salad. It's

00:26:21.360 expensive but i'm like i want to try it the nectarine salad drops i look at the nectarines

00:26:26.280 and i go other than like you know like a salad like i would never like i i don't even think i 0.94

00:26:30.860 would glance the price because once i'm there i'm yeah it's over fuck it totally anyway it's 0.68

00:26:36.320 just interesting like i wouldn't even clock it i i totally understand yeah anyway go on

00:26:41.140 oh now i want dinner okay so then i'm looking at the nectarines i go huh i take my fork 0.95

00:26:46.020 immediately make contact they are hard as fucking rocks they are hard okay i know i know i i can 0.97

00:26:53.180 sometimes enjoy it i don't know i'm talking about no this is this is no no i take a bite i manage 0.97

00:27:01.440 somehow drive a fork through it i take a bite it is i mean this is completely insane across the room

00:27:08.600 that this one that this was sent out so my partner and i both are like whoa we basically don't touch

00:27:15.320 there's some gorgeous parmesan on top some flakes of parmesan we eat a couple pieces of

00:27:18.960 parmesan the other two salads we eat the server comes over she's like so what was our favorite

00:27:24.660 salad i'm looking i go well one is completely almost untouched so i i was like i'm not gonna

00:27:30.360 say anything i don't want to whatever but she literally asks so i go god i go you know the

00:27:36.900 nectarines aren't ripe you know i do it in a very kind of like oh my god and she goes you know i had

00:27:43.920 them earlier at family meal and they were quite crunchy. And I said, yeah, you know, I downgraded

00:27:49.520 it to quite crunchy, crunchy. Yeah. Right. She was like, yeah, they're, they're, they're pretty

00:27:53.060 crunchy. No, but she's like clearly being like, yeah, they're bad. And I was like, yeah, I said,

00:27:57.400 you know, I thought it's quite early for, for nectarines, but I figured, I don't know. So

00:28:01.540 then she leaves, whatever she comes back, she's clearing for the next course. She goes,

00:28:06.200 and should I get this out of here? The next, the basically untouched nectarine salad. I go,

00:28:10.920 yeah it disappears and i and i turned to naomi and i go that there's not a world that's on the

00:28:16.060 bill right right and we're like i mean agree okay right so let's so guys so go what do you think

00:28:22.860 happened cut to we were charged for it of course 36 dollars take that in wait wait wait wait okay

00:28:28.980 maybe it was 26 maybe it's 26 maybe i would glance at the bill this is a this is maybe it was 26

00:28:34.040 yeah i guess 36 would almost be completely insane it was 26 which is very expensive and i just

00:28:40.020 did not sit right with me. And then I have another announcement, which is the other salad

00:28:45.580 featured figs. The figs were not sweet. The figs were not sweet. And because the next greens were

00:28:51.160 so egregious, the figs somehow were like, we can't also acknowledge the figs, but to leave a 0.98

00:28:56.160 produce and fucking emergency. And I was so fixated. I was in the bathroom peeing. Sorry to 0.97

00:29:02.900 use that language. And I said, I was on the can out loud. I said, I found myself out loud saying

00:29:08.500 shouldn't have gone out yeah yeah shouldn't have gone out and I'll just say this because this is

00:29:15.360 the history of all good restaurants but where were we or you weren't with me I was with Naomi

00:29:20.360 and our moms at Osteria Angelini here in Los Angeles they have one of my favorite dishes

00:29:26.760 which is this artichoke dish it's always on the menu and I said and the artichokes and he said

00:29:31.900 oh I'm so sorry we're not serving those tonight because they're not up to standards yes yes and

00:29:37.700 I go yes sometimes you go guess what went to the farmer's market where they're not no we're not

00:29:42.660 serving it how do you how do you send them out of your kitchen and then you're charging you're

00:29:48.380 charging me no whenever there's a thing where it's one thing you eat the whole thing I mean I

00:29:54.620 still technically think you have your rights but it's like basically untouched there's a reason why

00:30:00.940 it's untouched they acknowledge the problem with it okay it just feels like at that point

00:30:07.660 it's a disappointment it's kind of like makes it feel like they're afraid of their own chef which

00:30:14.020 i'm sure they are but yeah but although it's not like they go to the chef about it they go to the

00:30:20.000 right if it i mean if they had to get approval right wouldn't it be from the manager like yeah

00:30:24.260 i mean i just think you you take it over you go they didn't touch this they say it's unripe and

00:30:29.440 yeah it is unripe it's kind of like unless we ate every crumb of every other dish yeah yeah right

00:30:36.140 right it feels like you know that it's like well that's circumstantial evidence you know like

00:30:41.340 like it could be like they filled up on the other two you know admit it you filled up there's also

00:30:46.700 key detail or just a detail i noticed when she took it away she had a little aside with someone

00:30:53.060 looking at the plate so that even for me went oh it's definitely off the bill incredible

00:30:59.140 it almost feels like um because she asked and dug it out of you like it's almost like it's her fault

00:31:09.460 for asking you like so she doesn't get off because it's like it's like yeah it's like i dug that out

00:31:15.220 of them right like it's almost like she could be blamed herself like like if if the manager or the

00:31:19.560 chef complained yeah why did you ask them if this out you gave them an opportunity and then you

00:31:24.460 confirmed it like don't do that if you ask if you ask someone what they thought about the salad we'd

00:31:29.740 have to take everything off the menu people complain about everything i'm not saying i agree

00:31:33.220 kate i'm just saying i know i know what went through her head possibly um well i will be 0.87

00:31:39.480 going back it's a beloved funny when they've got you by the balls by the way when it's a neighborhood

00:31:45.040 restaurant where it's like well this is the the restaurant downstairs so i'll be coming here

00:31:49.960 again forever i know like when we used to live on 71st street like west 71st and i would go

00:31:55.180 i would get these special things like i would get these julienned vegetables where it was like i

00:32:00.980 just wanted all these vegetables that you could see existed in all these other dishes and like

00:32:04.720 such a regular that yeah i come in and he goes and the julienne you know i mean amazing and so

00:32:10.380 you can work out almost like well this is clearly going to be my dinner three times a week

00:32:13.700 so given that i feel like then you get a level of you do you get a level of accommodation you

00:32:20.540 get a level of particularly because it becomes easy it's like they know the thing you want

00:32:24.380 yeah but when they've got you by the balls because they're the corner restaurant

00:32:27.520 you know there's a negotiation that that can occur because you keep coming back even though

00:32:34.520 you know it's like you want it to work like we were reflecting on this restaurant near 71st like

00:32:41.920 on columbus when we lived there we were just talking about together like remember you know

00:32:45.920 blah blah blah yeah i don't even want to say it but it was like you know it was like because it

00:32:50.640 was like what is that place called and then you like pull it up and like oh yeah i pull it up

00:32:54.240 from the brain and we're like like we remembered the first night the honeymoon night of like

00:33:00.300 walking back from watching fireworks on the west side highway we just sort of like strolled over

00:33:04.540 and watched fireworks like yeah saw them off the west side highway walked back stumbled into this

00:33:09.340 restaurant that was like brand new that night had these french fries that were sort of like

00:33:12.480 covered in chimichurri sort of like it was sort of their approach and um you know it felt like

00:33:19.180 this is like this is gonna be big for us yeah the new spot then the place fell apart on us like we

00:33:23.820 had like you know you go in you sit down they leave you there for like 45 minutes you cannot 0.84

00:33:27.880 flag someone down shit to get a menu or uh and then you leave i always something wrong like you 0.78

00:33:34.840 yeah we've been here for 45 yeah desperately flagging you from the chairs you can eye contact 0.98

00:33:40.920 like a wild beast um anyway but we were like yeah and i fell apart but it was fun um um

00:33:49.320 is this just los angeles california chicken cafe and they have vegan options i want to be clear

00:33:54.800 california chicken cafe um has incredible food and people you know all over la people

00:34:05.220 you know uh as a goop alternative it's tastier cheaper and the wraps are fresher 0.85

00:34:12.760 and i had a california chicken cafe wrap i had two days in a row i it's fucking unbelievable

00:34:19.100 and they have a vegan one that my partner loved and I'm literally like I want it now and I think

00:34:26.680 they have them just oh my god I'm seeing a picture of them on the website and I'm like gonna start

00:34:31.820 crying they look so good and they do pita inside they put pita chips in the wrap so there's a

00:34:38.100 crunch there what in the vegan one yeah I think in all of them oh and all them no I was like

00:34:43.300 because sometimes you know it's like they they like junk food it up in the in the vegan ones

00:34:48.900 to try to like oh yeah like that and it's like you know we vegans probably like like the taste

00:34:53.800 of vegetables you know what i mean we're not like although i will say i was ordering from love

00:34:57.520 love organic cafe while uh while i was alone here by the way i've just completely like destroyed i

00:35:03.920 just my leg is like it's it's not i'm not trying to claim shingles here but i've just scratched my

00:35:10.460 leg and now it's like you know full you know beet red oh no uh love organic cafe whatever

00:35:18.640 it's like got a lot of vegan stuff and i just ordered these these you know who the hell knows

00:35:24.160 what they're made of but these vegan like not chicken uh nuggets oh like seitan or whatever 0.95

00:35:32.100 the hell yeah i mean but you know it tastes like a chicken nugget like a dumbass chicken nugget 0.90

00:35:35.900 heaven on earth okay like comes with like a little ketchup okay yum yum yum watching 0.98

00:35:41.640 the great rachel getting married hadn't seen in a few years so would you bring it up we were

00:35:46.820 talking about the other day i haven't seen it in so long i think we were talking about the other

00:35:49.900 day because i texted you said i just revisited rachel getting married no you didn't we'll have

00:35:54.860 to see i would remember by the way i had a nightmare last night that we all we went to the

00:36:00.560 odyssey as planned and we're sitting there waiting for some reason we're there like a half hour early

00:36:04.380 this is a dream yeah okay and then because i had like saved this kidnapped little girl in this at

00:36:11.900 this other event the next night there was kind of a event with the same little girl where it was

00:36:17.520 like we were recounting what had occurred and i was like i gotta be there i mean like i i saved

00:36:22.940 her essentially like why am i not going to be there and i was trying to tell you that like

00:36:26.560 look like almost like my day job is kind of like working for the fbi like these kinds of cases kate

00:36:33.000 so like unfortunately like it is important like i can't just give up my like you know extra work

00:36:38.560 you know non-showbiz work like i was like i kind of got to be there and and and really i wanted to

00:36:45.180 be there because i wanted the glory right i want to make sure this correctly and and i'll tell you

00:36:50.880 how i saved her also but but we're sitting there and i'm like realizing that's happening and it's

00:36:56.300 like and we're sitting in the movie's not starting for another half an hour and then we all kind of

00:37:00.340 float out like oh we'll do something else and then before i know it it's like we're leaving

00:37:03.660 and then I realized like I never acknowledged them that I mean we went to see a movie and then

00:37:10.680 we all left like based on me like that's like insane anyway I just I felt really bad about it

00:37:16.960 even though I had my reasons but in the dream it was like there was this giant concert and this like

00:37:23.600 little like child goes missing and at first I have the entire crowd chanting in unison I like get up

00:37:30.040 on the stage I'm like doing this whole thing and then I I grab the mic and sort of like work my way

00:37:34.960 into the like dancing but then I like take control yeah have the whole crowd like in unison saying

00:37:40.420 like you know where are you Sophie or something oh my god looking for you yeah Sophie come back

00:37:45.620 or something it wasn't Sophie but I don't remember and so we're doing that it's really loud

00:37:50.800 and whatever and like and there's chaos and then half the crowd's like waiting for the bathrooms

00:37:54.460 in the hallways and then and then i go down and and here on poog we believe dreams are more

00:38:02.800 interesting than reality exactly so you know instead of apologizing so because i think it's

00:38:08.700 kind of interesting and then i go okay okay and then i and then i take the mic again and i go

00:38:12.580 now everyone we're gonna all count together like down from 10 and when we get to 10 we're all gonna

00:38:19.620 to go silent so we can hear if her she's somewhere because obviously all the noise

00:38:25.940 to get full silence everywhere so i'm like dad

00:38:30.560 like zero okay and then silence and then you hear like um

00:38:38.580 you hear the sort of the sound of something hitting porcelain like in a bathroom kind of

00:38:44.800 and we look oh no closed door and then like this woman goes and opens it and they're like behind

00:38:52.400 sort of the the the toilet is like you know the kid now the kid is 12 inches tall you know what

00:38:59.400 i mean tiny they're yeah like in the dream how they sometimes are you know and they bring it out

00:39:04.880 you know it's saved it's glorious and um yeah i wanted my i wanted my glory

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00:43:44.800 So what do you think?

00:43:46.040 So tonight, meeting up at the Grove to see the Odyssey.

00:43:49.120 5.30.

00:43:49.880 um i'm trying to get it all i'm trying to pull myself together today before leaving tomorrow

00:43:55.980 so that includes doing something outside the home the movie it includes this oh you mean

00:44:03.820 are we doing dinner no it's not it's too much right you you should do it's fine we'll arrive

00:44:09.140 fed and then you know what it always is it's after the movie we can do we can do a little

00:44:14.080 chat dismount in the um on the way to the cars yeah or we could or we could have a guacamole at

00:44:20.340 the at alma you know what i mean like it's alma at the restaurants yeah those like grove restaurants

00:44:26.180 that are like well trust me i was gonna say i love blue ribbon sushi oh yeah of course of course

00:44:30.260 um and then start a literal god because i remembered to get my passport fedex to me

00:44:38.380 just in time to go to canada because i left in new york months ago oh my god didn't address it

00:44:44.580 because a lot of people their whole let's say they left their passport in new york okay they

00:44:49.340 go to california their whole life is about getting their passport back okay yeah until like of course

00:44:53.840 me and isn't it like there's a thing about mailing a passport like it's probably illegal or something

00:44:59.240 something yeah i can't worry about that of course not i've had meds who cares i've had meds like

00:45:05.240 stuffed with cotton wrapped in a t-shirt you know scent oh yeah you gotta get it however you get it

00:45:11.340 yeah like all these places like in italy in italy even in like i think it was like in ischia like

00:45:18.920 this journey to get to this like little post office and they had been held at some you know

00:45:24.440 border because because the thing hadn't been checked like you know pay in advance for the

00:45:29.320 things it was like held up and then like finally getting them from using italians and and the glory

00:45:34.660 i've done that a lot of places i remember in portland i think once like out on a highway going

00:45:40.320 to a like a shipping center and like retrieving meds like you know the glory of like getting the

00:45:45.320 meds oh but i did get a new device called the mendy here i'll show you it goes like this

00:45:51.440 brain another brain device neurofeedback in this case brain training you know i've pushed the muse

00:45:58.800 um over the years but i continue to have trouble with the muse with the connectivity

00:46:03.900 falling out this measures something else this measures um by like shooting light through the

00:46:11.480 brain it measures how blood flow in the prefrontal cortex and you'd like move this i mean i've been

00:46:18.640 i've been like waiting for them to get get this in the hand of the consumer for like 15 years

00:46:22.720 Okay. The neurofeedback. Oh, well, I just wanted to say I did my prenuvo. It's huge.

00:46:30.620 It was, you know, seamless experience. I'll say that you go in gorgeous, easy. Yeah. And also

00:46:37.900 you choose what you want to watch in there. So I go, let's fire up the first two episodes of

00:46:44.440 sex in the city. So I'm in there watching sex in the city. It wasn't scary. It wasn't hard. 0.99

00:46:51.420 yeah of course you're like getting scanned but it's like you're just you know if anyone you're

00:46:55.680 just in your little you're just laying although i will say i don't think the um detractor or the

00:47:00.620 you know deterrent you know what i'm saying is the scan itself yes the price of course although

00:47:06.760 you can get 300 off with code kate berlant for a full body scan hilarious um but i have to say

00:47:13.140 when i get in there i'll get my code of course you will i have to say though it was because of

00:47:18.960 course you're going in there and you're hoping enough you're hoping for us they say unremarkable

00:47:22.780 results and my results were unremarkable um you know and i was also nervous because i had friends

00:47:28.760 that did it and they were like you know they'll be things like don't worry because you know it's

00:47:32.060 like oh a little white matter here but they're like it's nothing or they're like oh yeah cyst

00:47:36.680 here but like if you don't have xyz something to worry about one thing i did learn is that i have

00:47:42.640 particularly dense breast tissue which is fairly common so do i and by the way it's not like

00:47:48.140 something you can feel no no like you know it's like my feel it in a fist you know exactly but

00:47:54.200 but that's good information to know as far as i was gonna say going forward but you're not

00:47:59.560 ashkenazi right my dad is oh okay yeah it's like very very like common yeah but it's listen it's a

00:48:07.740 it's a and they call you someone goes over your results i shared it with my doctor and i will say

00:48:13.440 And yes, it's expensive. It's a luxury for sure. But my God, it is the idea that, and this is what

00:48:19.660 they talk about, you know, with everyone, the great fear, cancer, and, you know, what we do

00:48:25.400 know, early detection, it's everything. So the idea is, you know, you get something pre-stage

00:48:31.620 one or stage one. Anyway, um, damn, I want that California chicken cafe wrap bad. 0.98

00:48:38.900 i am gonna lay down with an ice pack and consider whether i oh maybe i'll maybe i just need to get 0.97

00:48:46.420 go for a celsius you know yes i have i can have them in the home but walking to the little cafe

00:48:53.080 to get the celsius can be wow you're on celsius today yeah we gotta get you off i know fruit

00:49:01.540 flavors i just need a drink i just need like a drink is it because you know what else i'm on 1.00

00:49:05.840 on the salt the element drink it's the word you say i drank one last night delicious bitch the 0.97

00:49:11.220 sparkling 500 milligrams of sodium which is better than 900 or a grant or a thousand which i think is 0.93

00:49:17.640 what the packets have like like i they they sent truly pallets like the packages kept coming like

00:49:23.160 like it was like there was a week where every day both of our homes it was overwhelming huge

00:49:28.860 packages filled with you know 24 cans sparkling element but like the pineapple salt to me is like

00:49:35.580 as good as drinking like a pineapple margarita yeah i really realized that i was like i need to

00:49:39.680 start ordering restaurant like lime juice salt rim like that's you know what i mean like i want that

00:49:46.380 flavor yeah the booze is ancillary pineapple unfortunately makes my mouth itch oh right um

00:49:53.480 well guys this was a soft launch back into having a podcast i'm considering turning into an

00:50:00.460 entertainer on the podcast okay not just maybe next time hang on like yeah it's a rash yeah yeah

00:50:07.520 but i also think the people they're fine i think that you know yeah i think the eavesdroppers like

00:50:13.120 it i think they like it it's weird that i think that but i need to go make an emergency scramble

00:50:17.740 i'm starving i'll see you later can't wait all right love you love you

00:50:24.240 That was POOG!

00:50:29.240 If you enjoyed POOG, please subscribe, rate, and review.

00:50:32.240 If not, we will press charges.

Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - July 21, 2026

The Myth of the Heckler

Episode Stats

Transcript