There Are No Girls on the Internet - November 24, 2023


Amanda Knox asks: Who gets to own their story? — Best of TANGOTI

Topics
Elon Musk boosts antisemitic tweet and advertisers leave Twitter - Elon’s Media Matters lawsuit explained Sam Altman’s OpenAI CEO drama shows the shortcomings of male leadership in tech

Episode Stats


Length

56 minutes

Words per minute

167.9

Word count

9,508

Sentence count

374

Harmful content

Misogyny

14

sentences flagged

Toxicity

11

sentences flagged

Hate speech

4

sentences flagged


Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
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00:00:40.700 Pro Society is a weekly podcast
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00:01:05.080 Your whole job is to be about like empathizing with the human experience enough to be able to
00:01:09.940 tell a story that resonates with people. And yet, like, here's a real human being going like,
00:01:15.540 Hey, hey, I'm over here. Call me and no. DMs are open. DMs are open.
00:01:25.700 There Are No Girls on the Internet is a production of iHeartRadio and Unbossed Creative.
00:01:41.080 I'm Bridget Todd, and this is There Are No Girls on the Internet.
00:01:46.200 I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about the Internet and how we show up on it.
00:01:51.360 Can we share parts of ourselves online?
00:01:53.300 What gets lost?
00:01:54.500 By now you know the drill that nobody's online presence tells the full story of who they are.
00:01:58.740 We're all creating a digital highlight reel, and none of it is really real.
00:02:02.640 But what about the ways the internet itself flattens out who we are and the full scope of our humanity?
00:02:09.640 When you're viewing them through a screen, it's easy to see people as one-dimensional caricatures, distortions of who they really are.
00:02:16.620 And if you think about your own online experience, I'm sure you felt this one way or another. 0.99
00:02:21.780 Now, imagine what that would be like as an exoneree,
00:02:25.080 exonerated for a high-profile crime of which you were falsely accused.
00:02:29.900 That's Amanda Knox's reality.
00:02:33.220 Amanda Knox's name is still synonymous with a crime that she did not commit,
00:02:37.320 the murder of her roommate Meredith Kircher by Rudy Goudet in Italy in 2007.
00:02:42.060 Amanda spent almost four years in prison before being acquitted in 2015.
00:02:46.900 Since her release from prison, Amanda has worked to change the conversation
00:02:50.400 around the criminal justice system
00:02:51.840 and the people caught up in it
00:02:53.420 through writing, advocacy, and her podcast labyrinths.
00:02:56.840 But in an online landscape that profits from distorting people
00:03:00.080 according to the most salacious stories attached to them, 0.98
00:03:03.120 true or not, Amanda continues to be flattened 1.00
00:03:05.920 into a foxy-noxy caricature, 0.98
00:03:08.160 the same caricature that led to her being locked up
00:03:10.640 for a crime that she didn't commit.
00:03:12.960 Understandably, Amanda is particular
00:03:14.840 about what parts of herself she shares with the internet.
00:03:17.960 For instance, concerned her story
00:03:20.000 would become fodder for tabloids and online trolls,
00:03:23.080 Amanda and her husband Chris
00:03:24.440 waited to reveal to the world
00:03:26.000 they were expecting their first child
00:03:27.480 until she was already born.
00:03:29.540 Soon after I gave birth,
00:03:31.560 and of course I didn't immediately tell the world
00:03:34.160 that I had given birth because I was,
00:03:36.760 I didn't want to emotionally and psychologically
00:03:39.200 navigate the difficulty of tackling how the internet
00:03:43.440 and how the broader world was going to react to my daughter
00:03:47.200 in those first weeks of having given birth.
00:03:51.180 Like I just needed to like be chill
00:03:53.820 and secret and hidden and no one to know.
00:03:57.880 But of course that means that no one knows
00:04:00.840 and I still have to keep doing my job
00:04:02.560 and responding to the world
00:04:03.740 as if I don't have a two week old baby
00:04:07.680 that's keeping me up at night
00:04:09.620 and who's suckling on me constantly.
00:04:12.800 I loved how you chronicled your journey
00:04:16.900 to become parents on Instagram, did it have the desired effect you were looking for? Like,
00:04:21.480 like revealing it in that way where by the time you were like, oh, we're expecting your child was
00:04:27.460 actually already here. Did it have the desired effects of just giving you all a little more
00:04:32.020 space to not have to wonder how the internet would react to this, this change in your life?
00:04:37.660 Yeah. And then it also did a sort of, I sort of did a bait and switch kind of thing. Like I was,
00:04:43.240 when I was doing when I was sort of revealing on a daily basis, like week for week photos on my
00:04:50.320 Instagram, it was sort of like giving that sense to my my followers, but also to like the greater
00:04:56.880 Internet in general, because, of course, I know that the tabloids are constantly scanning my
00:05:01.300 Instagram in order to like steal, you know, photos of me and strip them of context and then vilify
00:05:06.400 me. Like I was anticipating this and sort of addressing directly this feeling of like
00:05:12.640 anticipation and wanting more and wanting like acknowledging that like as I'm getting bigger and
00:05:18.740 bigger it's very human and natural to be like oh my god the baby's next the baby's next and then
00:05:23.500 my goal at the very end of it was to show one image of my child and explain why I was not going
00:05:32.460 to be sharing any other photos with of her on the internet because of how I knew both the internet
00:05:41.300 to be a thing that maybe you should opt into
00:05:44.220 instead of automatically put into by your parents,
00:05:46.680 but also because of how much my own social media
00:05:51.740 and internet life has been mined for content
00:05:55.240 and mined for exploitation by tabloids.
00:05:59.100 And I did not want to sort of offer my own daughter
00:06:02.280 on a platter.
00:06:02.940 And so I wanted to like give the sense of like,
00:06:05.840 yes, we're all in it together
00:06:07.340 and we all are really excited,
00:06:08.620 but also this is why I'm sort of withholding something from you. And I was hoping to like
00:06:13.260 make a point by revealing my pregnancy that way. Yeah. I mean, what is it like to be Amanda Knox
00:06:20.700 on the Internet? Like, what is that experience like for you? Well, it means that I am in,
00:06:29.200 you know, when I came home from prison after I was first acquitted, I knew that I was walking
00:06:35.160 into a world where there would be a version of me in people's minds no matter what like that's just
00:06:42.460 a reality um people heard of foxy noxy now they have a very clear idea of who i am except it's
00:06:49.540 not who i am and so i'm going to be perpetually in conversation with that like prejudice about me
00:06:56.160 that as I'm walking through the world. And it made me acutely aware of how much my identity
00:07:04.700 as it had been constructed, especially in the digital space, was not actually a product of my
00:07:10.820 own making. And I think this honestly is very, very true of everyone. We all aren't totally the
00:07:18.720 authors of our identities, especially online. We like to think, I think we have this like false
00:07:24.100 sense of security that like, oh, my Instagram feed is my own. And oh, you know, when I present
00:07:29.860 myself online, people will understand what I mean when I say a thing. And the reality is that's not
00:07:36.120 true. And we all are facing certain kinds of prejudices as we encounter people, especially
00:07:41.540 across the distance of the Internet. As much as it brings us close, it also keeps us distant from
00:07:47.400 each other because we're not physically there um and so i feel like i have a unique perspective
00:07:53.780 of like i feel like i have because i've been such like pushed to such extremes through the internet
00:08:02.640 that like utterly vilified and also like totally reached out to by people like total random
00:08:07.920 strangers who just say oh my gosh i'm so inspired by what you went through and how you've dealt with
00:08:13.080 it like I have I have personally felt all like and pushed against all of the edges of the internet
00:08:21.000 and the way that it works so I feel like I appreciate in a sort of fine-tuned way how the
00:08:27.780 internet works and how much of myself and therefore everyone else is a construct of these like
00:08:36.300 interplaying you know impulses and um and that sense of ownership that really really we have a
00:08:43.760 false sense of ownership of ourselves online and we really don't own ourselves online actually
00:08:49.820 there's a really interesting did you um hear about the the woman who was an artist um and she had
00:08:57.260 like you know as an artist does she has an instagram account i think it was called the
00:09:01.580 metaverse her instagram was called metaverse right and like facebook decided oh we're the
00:09:07.560 metaverse now so we're just gonna delete you and they have that power which like again reinforces
00:09:15.280 that sense of like well do we own ourselves on the internet do we own ourselves on the internet
00:09:21.980 so w.e.b du bois has this concept of double consciousness whereby black folks experience
00:09:28.000 consciousness in two distinct ways at once, the way that we understand and see ourselves and the
00:09:34.180 way that we are aware of being seen by a white supremacist society. And I've always felt this
00:09:39.220 concept was really useful, not just in navigating the IRL world, but in navigating my own online
00:09:45.100 experiences as well. When I share myself online, I'm very aware that it's a convergence of two
00:09:50.740 consciousnesses, who I actually am and who people are perceiving me to be. I don't even really
00:09:56.500 consider my online persona to be me. I think of her as my avatar, a stand-in for my digital
00:10:02.360 experiences completely distinct from the real me. I spend a lot of time thinking about our
00:10:08.980 digital experiences and the experience of showing up online and just what that's like for us.
00:10:13.940 And I often refer to my online self as my avatar. You know, I don't even see her as really myself.
00:10:20.220 I see her as a stand-in. And so I can only imagine what that experience is like for you as a person
00:10:26.020 who has been vilified and really turned into a caricature, how you might feel that there are
00:10:30.900 these all these different competing versions of yourself out in the world. But at the same time,
00:10:35.260 really knowing, you know, this isn't me. Like having this composite sketch version of yourself
00:10:41.260 of what people see you as, all these different projections of people's understandings of who you
00:10:47.640 are or who they want you to be or need you to be. When I was preparing for this interview,
00:10:52.060 I was reading some headlines and there was this one tabloid story that had clearly taken a picture
00:10:57.400 of you and your husband, maybe when you were out at a party or something. And there are so many
00:11:03.020 pictures of you and your husband that anybody could use to accompany a story about you. But
00:11:07.880 they had clearly gone out of their way to choose a picture where y'all were at a party to kind of
00:11:12.960 add to this media created idea that y'all were weird. You know, it's like they went out of their
00:11:18.940 way to say, look at these two. Aren't they weird? Look at this weird picture. But it's like they
00:11:24.780 chose the picture. This is obviously something that you wanted to use to create to tell the story
00:11:30.320 that you were trying to sell. And that story was these two are weirdos. And for you, it must be so 0.69
00:11:35.960 difficult to retain and protect your sense of self when there are so many forces out there
00:11:40.900 projecting all of these competing negative out of context versions of who they think you are
00:11:46.040 or who they want you to be or need you to be. Yeah, no, it's true, especially because
00:11:51.960 and I think this is true of other people as well. Like it's not like it just limits itself to the
00:11:57.700 internet space. Like it definitely has repercussions in my actual real life. It makes
00:12:04.820 it so that it's difficult for me to make friends or to get a regular job. Like these are all ways
00:12:11.460 that the stigma of whatever that person that that idea of me that's in someone else's mind
00:12:18.160 impacts me on a on an actual level like I actually went to prison because people were
00:12:24.760 you know cherry picking moments of my life and portraying him in the worst possible light
00:12:30.800 and like I went to actual prison for that so like and you know to to this day you know I'm not being
00:12:38.140 put in a jail cell because of people talking badly about me on the internet and portraying
00:12:43.000 me as a weird person.
00:12:44.900 But it does mean that, you know, if I go and take a meeting with someone, I'm wondering,
00:12:50.280 are they taking a meeting with me because they want to see how weird I am or they want
00:12:54.580 to, you know, or are they actually seriously interested in my professional work?
00:12:58.780 Do they even know about my professional work?
00:13:00.920 Because, of course, the tabloids are really happy to tell stories about me going to parties,
00:13:05.860 But they don't ever talk about the work that I do, because that doesn't go with their story. So I don't know, like, it's made me acutely aware of how powerful storytelling is. And it's made me think about like, well, who is allowed to tell stories?
00:13:25.700 And what stories are they telling us? And how are we complicit in them, the choices they are making as storytellers in selling us a product?
00:13:40.480 Let's take a quick break.
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00:14:33.280 When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months.
00:14:39.140 I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them.
00:14:45.600 I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files.
00:14:49.300 I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, 0.99
00:14:54.440 Shut up. Don't say anything. 0.99
00:14:57.740 Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable.
00:15:01.220 I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me.
00:15:06.500 I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming.
00:15:13.920 They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.
00:15:17.880 But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.
00:15:21.340 They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive.
00:15:24.460 Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app,
00:15:29.620 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:15:38.740 And we're back.
00:15:40.420 Last year, Amanda spoke out about the film Stillwater,
00:15:43.800 which stars Matt Damon as a father who travels to Europe to see his daughter,
00:15:47.700 who has been in prison for the murder of her roommate and lover in France.
00:15:51.500 There's going to be a spoiler for the film in just a moment.
00:15:54.340 Director Tom McCarthy said he was, quote,
00:15:56.600 inspired by Amanda's experience.
00:15:59.320 I was pretty fascinated with the Amanda Knox case back a long time ago
00:16:03.300 and did a pretty deep dive into it.
00:16:05.680 Okay, so here's the spoiler.
00:16:07.460 In the film, the character inspired by Amanda is revealed to have been withholding
00:16:11.480 relevant information about the murder that she has not shared with authorities,
00:16:15.220 that she paid the man who actually killed her roommate
00:16:17.720 and told him to get rid of her.
00:16:20.700 But it was a miscommunication. 0.96
00:16:22.060 She meant to throw her out of the apartment, not murder her.
00:16:25.860 Amanda says this isn't so much a fictionalization,
00:16:28.500 as it is trafficking in a specific falsehood that still persists all these years later.
00:16:33.700 That even if she didn't actually kill Meredith Kircher, she must have been involved in some way.
00:16:38.900 On Medium, in a piece called Who Owns My Name, Amanda writes,
00:16:42.520 I continue to be accused of knowing something I'm not revealing,
00:16:46.980 of having been involved even if I didn't plunge the knife.
00:16:50.260 So Tom McCarthy's fictionalized version of me is just a tabloid, conspiracy, guiltier version of me.
00:16:57.020 By fictionalizing away my innocence, my total lack of involvement, by erasing the role of
00:17:02.300 the authorities in my wrongful conviction, McCarthy reinforces an image of me as a guilty
00:17:07.500 and untrustworthy person.
00:17:09.300 And with Matt Damon's star power, both are sure to profit handsomely off of this fictionalization
00:17:14.260 of the Amanda Knox saga.
00:17:16.720 That is sure to leave plenty of viewers wondering, maybe the real-life Amanda was involved somehow.
00:17:22.140 Yeah. I mean, that was one of the reasons I was so interested to talk to you today. Your tweets about the film Stillwater. You know, I had never really thought about the idea of profit. Right. So who not just who is telling someone else's story, but who is making money off of it?
00:17:39.080 And it seems to me that so many different Hollywood executives and actors, et cetera, et cetera, are, it's okay for them to tell this like deeply fictionalized story that purports to be about your life and make money from it.
00:17:55.560 And it's like everyone else, it seems like everyone else is allowed to, A, tell your story and then profit from it except for you.
00:18:03.920 You know, what is that like to experience?
00:18:06.520 experience well it's so surreal that most people just assume that i am profiting off it right like
00:18:13.120 the number of people who reached out to me to be like oh congratulations on stillwater so great
00:18:18.080 that you're getting another project and it's like nope nope no one uh no one talked to me about that
00:18:23.900 like i have nothing to do with that and um no i i am in no way benefiting from it in fact i am just
00:18:30.580 bearing the cost of whatever story they liked to tell about me this time so and you know thinking
00:18:38.660 about the Netflix documentary this is something that I thought was so interesting where the
00:18:43.320 filmmakers reached out to you and they said we are not into we only want to tell this story if
00:18:49.420 you are part of that storytelling process I could imagine folks coming to you and saying listen we're
00:18:54.980 going to tell this story whether you want me to tell it or not so you got to decide whether we're
00:18:59.840 telling it for you or if you're going to be a participant, it almost kind of feels like a
00:19:03.960 shakedown, you know, when it's like, oh, it totally is. How can we get to a place where like
00:19:08.600 you're not being shaken down to be forced to participate against your will in a story that
00:19:16.060 is meant to be about you? I mean, I just like I can't even imagine what that must be like to
00:19:20.600 experience and how difficult that must be to navigate. Yeah. And again, it's not just a thing
00:19:26.040 that happens to me like it happens to a lot of people a lot of like you know exonerees wrongfully
00:19:31.380 convicted people come out of prison and they're told if you don't tell your story right now to us
00:19:37.780 like you're never going to have another chance and no one's ever going to believe you and of course
00:19:41.380 you're walking out of prison you know you've been exonerated but you're still carrying the stigma of
00:19:46.520 the accusation you still are trying to like figure out how to get back on your feet and you like to
00:19:52.440 be put on the spot and asked to process the worst experience of your life for someone else's
00:19:58.320 entertainment product is and like the I guess like what I was hoping to do by writing that
00:20:05.200 essay for the Atlantic and, you know, doing like the tweets about Stillwater in particular
00:20:09.340 was because I wanted to point out that this is a way that we are treating real human beings
00:20:15.700 without. And I don't know if the people who are doing it realize what the human cost is
00:20:20.120 because they're in their own little like echo chamber.
00:20:23.280 Journalists are in their echo chamber
00:20:25.020 and they're thinking, well, I have to get the scoop.
00:20:26.780 And if I don't get the scoop now,
00:20:27.780 I'm gonna move on to the next story
00:20:29.160 and try to get that scoop.
00:20:30.700 Or the, you know, the Hollywood filmmakers are thinking,
00:20:34.220 oh, well, I'm just going to like be inspired
00:20:36.900 by something that happened in real life.
00:20:38.660 And then I'm just gonna let the writer's room
00:20:40.340 do what it does.
00:20:41.260 And that's just how stories are made.
00:20:42.720 And why would someone who was my inspiration
00:20:45.860 feel any kind of ownership over that?
00:20:47.980 It's my art.
00:20:48.780 And it's like, well, did you did you pause to think how this was going to impact the human being who is your purported source or inspiration?
00:20:59.280 Like, do you as a storyteller, as someone who is sharing information, oh, the person who is the source of that inspiration or your story, anything?
00:21:11.060 And that's a question. Like I'm asking the question and I'm offering a new perspective, which is, well, maybe you didn't think about this before, but here's how it's impacted me. Here's how when you keep telling a story over and over and over again about a girl on girl sex crime, you are actually misrepresenting what happened to my roommate who was raped and murdered by a man and me who had no part in a girl on girl sex crime.
00:21:40.840 So do you understand that when you keep telling that story over and over again, that is what ends up being the definitive story about me, whether you intended that or not? And do you understand that that's also what's happening to people who are even more disempowered than me?
00:22:00.120 because I can't tell you the number of people
00:22:02.100 that I've tried to advise
00:22:04.560 and who've reached out to me saying,
00:22:06.120 there's only one person who's ever been interested
00:22:10.360 in my story and I don't know if I trust them.
00:22:13.640 Should I trust them?
00:22:14.760 Is this my only chance to tell my story?
00:22:16.960 I don't know if I'm ready yet,
00:22:18.080 but they're telling me that I have to do it tomorrow.
00:22:20.320 And if I don't do it,
00:22:21.080 these are all huge red flags for me
00:22:24.160 that are just showing how other people's lives
00:22:27.940 are being taken from them in various different ways.
00:22:33.100 And the last thing I want to see
00:22:34.620 for someone who just spent years in prison
00:22:37.560 for something they didn't do
00:22:38.840 is for them to feel like,
00:22:41.500 oh, now my story is being stolen again from me,
00:22:44.640 but in a whole new way.
00:22:47.080 We owe exonerees and the wrongfully convicted
00:22:50.400 so much better.
00:22:51.280 They deserve so much better
00:22:54.320 than as soon as they're out
00:22:57.720 being put in these situations where they can be I mean they're already so vulnerable they deserve
00:23:05.580 they don't deserve this and I I have to I mean do you think it's possible to have a different kind
00:23:11.060 of media landscape for exonerees where where they don't feel like they have to immediately
00:23:16.900 continuously retell this traumatic thing that happened to them or else you know maybe the
00:23:23.160 tabloids will make up their own story about what happened you know did you do you believe in a
00:23:27.060 world where a different kind of landscape is possible for these folks? I mean, sure, I'm trying
00:23:33.140 to invent it along the way. But I think that like the thing that I'm sort of experimenting with,
00:23:39.040 with my own journalism and my own podcast, Labyrinths, is this sort of more like collaborative
00:23:45.140 experience between the storyteller and their subject. Because I think that there's been this
00:23:51.580 longstanding perspective that if you are at the center of your own story, you can't have
00:23:58.200 a storyteller's perspective of that story. Like you, you, you can't have authorship over your
00:24:05.220 own story because you're going to be biased or you're going to misrepresent things and I,
00:24:09.600 and you can't be objective. But first of all, I want to point out that the storyteller is not
00:24:16.400 by definition objective. Just because they aren't personally in the story doesn't mean that by
00:24:22.720 telling the story, they aren't putting themselves in the story and they aren't approaching that
00:24:27.080 story from a certain perspective. And it's also totally discrediting the idea that someone who's
00:24:33.500 at the center of their own story might have a valuable perspective about it. Like they might,
00:24:39.840 having had felt this human experience firsthand, have some interesting human things to say that
00:24:47.120 is worth being a part of the story. So I'm just trying to like convey that. Yeah, not all of us
00:24:54.520 are professional storytellers, but professional storytellers can help people tell their own
00:25:01.880 stories. And of course, everyone should be held accountable to the truth. Like as long as we're
00:25:07.060 not, like, making up crazy, you know, conspiracy theories to account for non-evidence. Like,
00:25:12.780 you know, evidence still matters and the truth still matters. But it's okay for you to give,
00:25:19.320 like, as a storyteller, to offer someone the opportunity to voice their own experience.
00:25:24.580 And that's still a valuable story. Oh, absolutely. You know, we're all experts in our own experiences.
00:25:30.740 And I hate this myth of objectivity that if you're close to a story or if it's happening to you or to your community, you couldn't possibly be objective.
00:25:40.700 I feel like it's really, at least in journalism, I feel like it's really been used to create a really like sexist, racist, classist narrative that like, oh, it is straight white men who are objective.
00:25:54.080 Everybody else is going to be biased.
00:25:55.920 You shouldn't even list like they're not going to be a reliable source of something that happened to them or their community.
00:26:01.860 And it just really erases the fact that, like, people know what's up with themselves.
00:26:05.560 People know people are like give people the space to be experts in their own experiences and their own stories.
00:26:11.640 And don't pretend that you don't have your own baggage that you're bringing to the story by being whoever you are.
00:26:18.300 Exactly.
00:26:18.740 You know, so just take ownership, like be self-aware, like do enough like self-auditing to be aware that maybe I might be approaching this story or that story from a certain perspective and let that be like acknowledge that in your own storytelling process and as you are encountering the person because they might be coming from a whole completely new perspective that you don't have access to.
00:26:41.940 And if you are automatically defining yourself as the objective party and them as the subjective party, you are automatically making like doing a hierarchy of whose prejudice and whose bias counts more than another's.
00:26:55.880 I find it interesting that your story is not often framed as a story of someone who was wrongfully convicted and then exonerated. Right.
00:27:05.460 I think there are probably so many people out there who, like, think they know the Amanda Knox story, you know, heavy scare quotes, but they probably, you know, don't know Meredith Kircher's name.
00:27:17.960 They probably don't know the name of the Italian prosecutors who, like, bungled this case.
00:27:23.120 They don't know the name of the actual guilty party.
00:27:26.200 And it's just so interesting to me how what you went through obviously, like, was a huge part of your life.
00:27:34.740 But the way that that story is told often, I don't know, it at the same time denies agency of the actual major players of what happened to your roommate.
00:27:45.540 while also giving you this like outsized role in that story it's like like why aren't why aren't
00:27:53.640 these other hugely like huge major parties of what happened why are they not household names
00:27:59.240 why are they not the names that are like connected to what happened there why is it just you who like
00:28:03.720 actually was kind of a like like side character and all of that yeah that's one of the things
00:28:10.460 that i've always like pushed back against with people is like when you when you think amanda
00:28:15.460 knox the first thing that you think of is murder because that's you know that's ultimately what it
00:28:21.500 comes down to amanda knox murder and my still like i have never witnessed a murder i've never
00:28:28.840 participated in murder i've never been you know the the closest i've been to murder is i maybe
00:28:35.280 what could have been murdered that night if i hadn't met rafael a five days earlier and was
00:28:40.080 spending the night at his house. That's my experience of murder. And the fact that that
00:28:47.880 action, that horrific action that happened to, first of all, my friend Meredith, who is the
00:28:54.280 victim and people don't remember her, the fact that that action is not actually prescribed to
00:28:59.640 her murderer, and instead people think of me when they think of her murder, that just goes to show
00:29:06.220 that it really does matter what you call a thing and when you call meredith kircher's murder the
00:29:10.560 amanda nox saga you are doing a disservice to the truth because i played no role in that my the
00:29:17.040 amanda nox saga for me is i'm on trial for something i didn't do and now i'm trying to
00:29:23.020 like reclaim my life in a world that doesn't want me to reclaim my life you know like that's that's
00:29:28.240 my experience um but like i it drives me crazy that it's it's so so often that the person who
00:29:38.360 actually committed this crime is referred to as an afterthought like he's either not named at all
00:29:45.680 he's called the other guy who was accused you know whatever like no one cares about that and it's
00:29:52.740 and to me that conveys that like people don't actually really care about what happened to
00:29:56.900 meredith they care about the scandal and they care about the the sexiness that they can you know
00:30:03.440 you know project onto like the the sexy idea is what resonates with people more than the actual
00:30:11.540 human experience yeah and i just i it's impossible to not see all the ways that you've become this
00:30:17.600 character so either it's like she's weird or she's like a american loud mouth or like a temptress
00:30:27.440 it's like you kind of become this thing that this character that anybody can project whatever they
00:30:32.660 want onto and it doesn't like who you actually are as a human who went through something traumatic
00:30:37.720 is just gone in the conversation yeah yeah and and then you know even when i'm you know it's
00:30:44.660 found out that I'm innocent and I'm held fully innocent. The again, that like mystique of who
00:30:52.340 is Amanda Knox, really? It's like, well, here's an idea. Like I have a podcast where I talk really
00:30:58.380 openly about all my ideas and all my experiences. Have you considered listening to that? No, no,
00:31:03.980 of course not, because then Amanda is actually authoring her own experience. We want to talk
00:31:07.940 about her we don't actually want to talk to her and it's it's just like I mean you aren't obviously 0.54
00:31:15.940 you're talking to me and I greatly appreciate that because honestly like what a freaking gift
00:31:22.460 in the world to just talk to another human being like a real person like I can't tell you enough
00:31:28.300 how much it means to me that you reach out to me and say I actually care about what your experience
00:31:33.960 is. I, you know, I don't want to just talk about you. I want to talk to you. Like, thank you for
00:31:39.960 that. It means a lot. I mean, I deeply appreciate that. I really do. But again, like when the
00:31:45.780 Stillwater conversation was happening, I think something that was so frustrating is it's not
00:31:50.260 like you're not like you. Yeah, you have a great podcast that's critically acclaimed. You have a
00:31:55.260 huge body of work. The fact that they wouldn't even reach out to you like I just randomly DM'd
00:32:01.240 you on Twitter and you replied it's not like it was hard I'm one person who makes a podcast out
00:32:05.400 of my kitchen right it's not like you're making it difficult to find yourself or and it's not
00:32:12.240 it's not like you're not having these public conversations about who you are and your story
00:32:16.660 and your experience and I think it is people just don't want to hear it it's it's more gratifying
00:32:22.860 to talk about you than it is to give you space to talk about your experiences and I think that's
00:32:28.760 So I don't think people I just think that people are just really wrapped up in the story they have in their head and retelling that over and over again.
00:32:36.660 And I really appreciated that you pointed out that that film, they weren't just fictionalizing it.
00:32:42.460 They were kind of parroting the the salacious, you know, girl on girl sex crime like lie that that was told to have you locked up for so many years.
00:32:55.880 And that's not apolitical. That's not neutral.
00:32:58.760 That's not fictionalizing something that was not like it's different to I guess I feel like the fact that they relied on what was the dominant narrative that led to you being falsely imprisoned is so hurtful, but also like deeply political and not neutral.
00:33:15.740 Like that's a real choice. And to not even acknowledge or deal with that again is a real, you know, just a real choice. Like that's it. I guess I didn't like how in that interview, I think it was Matt Damon, he was like, oh, well, you know, we got to thinking like, what if it was like this? And it's like, no, you just you just parroted the incorrect lie that led to you being falsely imprisoned.
00:33:39.320 Yeah, no, they it was just lazy storytelling on their part. Like they were like, oh, we're inventing things. And it's like, you didn't invent shit, my friend. Good job. You invented France as opposed to Italy. Like, good job.
00:33:52.120 it's lazy it's lazy it's lazy yeah and it's too bad because like honestly again my position in
00:34:01.320 all of this has been i'm really easy to talk to and i'm actually like i think we could have a
00:34:06.460 really worthwhile conversation here i i feel like maybe i was overlooked but like here's an
00:34:11.640 opportunity to not overlook me and that's okay like let's talk about that and nothing just
00:34:17.300 crickets still today nothing oh yeah nothing nothing yeah it you know they're they've moved
00:34:23.500 on to the next story and it doesn't matter that there are repercussions in my life so
00:34:29.040 i mean it's just insane like how like how removed do you have like you're a storyteller your whole
00:34:36.060 job is to be about like empathizing with the human experience enough to be able to tell a story that
00:34:41.860 resonates with people. And yet, like, here's a real human being going like, hey, hey,
00:34:48.980 I'm over here. Call me. And no, DMs are open. Like, I'm really nice.
00:35:02.260 I don't know. It's it's it's a fascinating experience. And I feel like, again, it's it
00:35:09.900 seems like it's this weird extreme thing because it's not every day that, you know, someone's life
00:35:15.600 is turned into a Hollywood movie. But I feel like there are versions of this that happen all the
00:35:23.580 time to people all the time. What story is being told about you and what circumstance by whom and
00:35:29.860 how are they not allowing you to be a part of the conversation like that? That happens all the time
00:35:36.860 to lots of people and it's something that i always have a little bit of a red flag for
00:35:41.340 because it just seems like it's it's one it's it's gaslighting honestly it's when you're not allowed
00:35:48.860 to have a voice in the story that defines who you are it you basically are being told by the rest
00:36:00.380 the world that you don't you don't matter and your perspective doesn't matter. And we're going
00:36:06.940 to tell you who you are and what you mean and why you matter. More after a quick break.
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00:37:03.340 That's 844-844-IHEART.
00:37:05.820 When I was 14 years old,
00:37:08.120 I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months.
00:37:11.660 I survived, and I've spent my life exploring
00:37:14.340 how other people survive what should have destroyed them.
00:37:18.100 I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files. 0.70
00:37:21.560 I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything.
00:37:30.180 Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable.
00:37:34.420 I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me.
00:37:38.980 I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming.
00:37:46.400 They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.
00:37:50.220 But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.
00:37:53.820 They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive.
00:37:57.480 Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:38:10.880 Let's get right back into it.
00:38:13.140 Who gets to have a say in their own story?
00:38:16.100 In a media moment where we're looking back on the way that women from Pamela Anderson to Monica Lewinsky were unfairly maligned by society, it's a question worth asking.
00:38:24.660 And I first reached out to Amanda because I saw her tweets about the New York Times documentary framing Britney Spears.
00:38:30.120 Now, she wasn't condemning the film or the filmmakers, but rather posing a complex question.
00:38:36.280 She tweeted,
00:38:37.440 With all these new Britney Spears documentaries out, I'm asking myself,
00:38:41.140 did Britney participate in any of them?
00:38:43.120 Did she consent to them?
00:38:44.680 Did she want them to exist?
00:38:46.380 Does anyone care?
00:38:47.920 The answer to the first two questions is no.
00:38:50.780 She did not participate or grant her approval.
00:38:53.360 And while I'm sure the documentary filmmakers would have preferred that she gave them her approval,
00:38:57.880 when she didn't, they plowed ahead anyway.
00:39:00.520 Is that okay?
00:39:02.000 She goes on to say, 0.99
00:39:04.020 I'd like to live in a world where Britney and Britney alone 1.00
00:39:06.460 gets to decide if she wants her personal legal drama 1.00
00:39:09.380 to serve as your next Netflix binge.
00:39:12.440 When filmmakers Rod Blackhurst and Brian McGinn
00:39:14.920 reached out to Amanda about making a Netflix documentary,
00:39:17.880 they said they would only go through with the film if she participated.
00:39:21.340 And it's a big part of why she agreed to do it in the first place.
00:39:24.580 They had the ethical sense to understand
00:39:26.520 that I would be deeply impacted by that film
00:39:28.580 and that my consent and participation mattered.
00:39:31.680 They decided it was better to make no film than one without me, she tweeted.
00:39:36.560 When I first reached out to you, I was in the process of researching an episode for
00:39:41.380 the podcast about the Free Britney movement.
00:39:43.300 And when I saw your tweets, it really, so I stopped my research because one of the points
00:39:49.460 that you made was, you know, hey, this documentary was made without Britney Spears' consent.
00:39:55.200 And I really had to have to really have a deep think about what that meant. Right. Like I was very happy that Britney Spears is conservatorship was overturned. I was happy to see the role that that documentary maybe played in some in some like public awareness of it.
00:40:10.720 But I never even thought to ask, what does it mean that this content was just released without her say, without her voice, against her will?
00:40:23.300 And I think we're in this moment where there are so many different pieces of media asking us to look back to how women were maligned, you know.
00:40:31.540 and I guess I wonder like what does it mean that so many of those you know documentaries podcasts
00:40:39.100 what have you are created about that about a woman without her side of the story without her
00:40:46.040 voice and then sometimes against her will like like what do we do with that how do we find a
00:40:50.380 balance to be like oh well maybe it's good that this documentary helped her overturn her 0.86
00:40:56.080 conservatorship but it's also fucked up that it happened against her will like isn't that just 0.89
00:41:01.000 another way of violating someone who's already been like so maligned and violated yeah yeah like 0.96
00:41:06.200 did did britney ultimately want her you know her like family drama to be so public um because like 1.00
00:41:16.460 she didn't get a choice in that right um did it make a difference in her trial is she grateful
00:41:21.400 to all the people who supported her of course um but it is interesting to me and i and i think it
00:41:27.120 is again one of those moments where it's worth pausing and asking like wait what is her perspective
00:41:34.140 in all of this like since everything is going to be impacting her the most shouldn't she have 0.87
00:41:43.140 some kind of say and um and you know i'd be curious to know like how britney feels today 0.98
00:41:50.380 about the fact that there were documentaries made without her consent and yet they played a
00:41:58.340 you know a supportive role towards her like that's an interesting you know mental space to be in in
00:42:05.700 terms of like over the course of your own life again there's it's but again it's almost like
00:42:09.740 a hint of that conservatorship right like we know what's good for you so we're gonna do it
00:42:15.440 even if you don't want us to like oh it's just uh it hurts me it's a it's like a weird thing
00:42:24.640 to have to unpack right and i guess i i'm i want to see more public like media makers wrestling
00:42:34.500 with it because i feel like yes it's a complicated square to circle but i i want to i want to see
00:42:42.060 that you're that you're aware of this, you know, aware of this dichotomy as a thing that exists
00:42:46.420 and a thing that we should be asking questions about and pushing up against. Exactly. I think
00:42:50.800 that if there were that again, it's that like self auditing, that introspection, that awareness
00:42:56.280 that you could have that your actions could have unintended consequences and that you are thinking
00:43:03.060 about the people who like, you know, you presumably if you're a documentary filmmaker who's making a
00:43:09.580 documentary about britney you can presumably assume that whatever it is that you end up doing
00:43:14.880 is going to impact her so like maybe think about how and why and and how you can mitigate potential
00:43:24.700 harm because that's what you don't want to do as a as a storyteller you don't want to just
00:43:30.060 harm other people for the sake of a story i mean at least i would hope so yeah
00:43:35.360 And I mean, I think in this moment where we're really interested in like looking back at the way that the way that media, our media ecosystem harmed women unfairly.
00:43:50.420 So I, full disclosure, live for a like, you're wrong about style podcast as like, oh, let's go back and like revisit.
00:43:57.880 But part of me wonders if we are so busy looking back that we're not seeing the ways that's happening now.
00:44:04.580 Like, OK, Britney Spears was unfairly maligned. You were unfairly maligned. Janet Jackson unfairly maligned. All these people. But are we are we like what's the point of that kind of content if it does not prime us to see it happening before our eyes in real time?
00:44:18.860 Like, I don't want to have to wait five years down the line for the podcast that tells us not that the media shouldn't be profiting off of the pain and, you know, shittiness to like a vulnerable person.
00:44:30.920 I don't want to have to wait for a look back retrospective on that.
00:44:34.180 What's the point of this media if it doesn't allow us to do this now?
00:44:37.560 That's a really great point.
00:44:39.100 And I think that that is that is another way that if we are going to be spending time looking
00:44:45.980 back, because I think it's a worthwhile thing to do.
00:44:49.280 Let's not do it just for a sake of like nostalgia.
00:44:52.960 We can all feel good about ourselves today because we're not doing that like they did
00:44:57.760 in the 90s like that.
00:44:59.180 there's the danger of it approximating that where it's like oh man we were terrible to women in the
00:45:04.820 90s we can feel total we can pat ourselves on the back today there is nothing wrong with the way
00:45:09.880 that we're treating women today because look at what we did in the 90s like it's important to
00:45:15.200 to take stock of how things were how things have changed but also how things haven't changed and
00:45:24.400 if we can see echoes of what happened in the past happening today and and try to be better.
00:45:33.000 Definitely. I mean, this brings me to one of my last questions. You know, what kind of world,
00:45:37.920 like just given what we know about how the media and the Internet can treat women, 1.00
00:45:44.520 what kind of world do you want for your daughter to grow up in? And like, what will you tell her
00:45:48.360 about your life? And what will you tell her about the kinds of the kinds of experiences that she
00:45:52.880 can expect from the world. Yeah. Well, what I'm hoping that we're heading towards is a world
00:46:00.360 where everyone is more media literate and understands not just how the industry functions,
00:46:08.200 like how does it even just how do you on a day to day basis put content out into the world?
00:46:15.060 Like, well, there are, you know, there are incentive structures and there's a monetary
00:46:19.200 aspect to it and like there's a whole business side of it that's important to know when you're
00:46:24.860 consuming information there's a human psychological role to it like what stories quote resonate with
00:46:31.420 people and with whom and why why do certain stories get uplifted and others get squashed
00:46:37.840 why are some people's stories just you know discarded as if they aren't valuable and other
00:46:42.420 people's are constantly in the headlines like these are all really important questions that i
00:46:48.040 think as consumers we should be asking because we as consumers ultimately have the power to say
00:46:55.400 you know what i'm not going to tune into your style of content anymore i'm going to tune into
00:47:00.620 something else that i think is more uh responsible or ethical or truthful um and that that's worthwhile
00:47:08.760 um so i hope that that's the world that we're we're gearing towards because as social media has
00:47:17.660 democratized content creation, we all feel like we can have a hand, not just in consuming media,
00:47:24.080 but also in producing it. That's my hope. I don't know if that's actually going to happen, but
00:47:29.880 I'm hoping that I'm going to let my daughter sort of take the lead in how much she wants to know
00:47:41.040 and how important my experience is going to be for her. Because one thing that I'm worried about
00:47:45.680 is her feeling like, you know, as much as I feel very much in the shadow of the worst experience
00:47:51.660 of my life, like I don't want her to feel like she's forced to live in the shadow of the worst
00:47:56.940 experience of my life. She should be able to have her own life if she wants. And if and I
00:48:02.740 I hope to raise her as a very curious, thoughtful person. And so I my guess is that she's going to
00:48:09.220 be curious. And of course, if she's going to be coming to the Innocence Network conference with
00:48:13.500 me every year meeting other wrongfully convicted people like she's going to start to notice
00:48:17.660 that there's a there's an interesting pattern happening here like oh you were in jail you
00:48:22.900 were in jail why has everyone been in jail you know she's going to notice and she's going to
00:48:27.780 ask questions and I think I'm going to be honest with her 100% of the time always answer her
00:48:36.880 questions. But of course, I'm not going to like give a six year old a tutorial on crime scene
00:48:44.100 footage, you know, like, yeah, I'll wait till she's seven when we're all that's that's the
00:48:50.840 appropriate age. So, yeah, I think that like I want her to feel like she it's not a taboo subject.
00:48:58.920 It's absolutely like anything about me and my experiences on the table for her should she
00:49:04.940 need it and want it um but that she doesn't need to feel like it needs to be an important part of
00:49:11.880 her life because honestly like no one's trauma no one should feel like they are bound to their
00:49:17.940 trauma as if it's the most important thing in their life either so i think that's another
00:49:23.460 important thing yeah that's such a good point there are so many interesting pieces of who you
00:49:31.880 are that like that's just one of a quilt of who you are and you know thinking about your daughter
00:49:39.300 you've written so beautifully about sort of long prison sentences and for you how it was a kind of
00:49:44.880 like forced infertility do you see criminal justice and reproductive justice as like linked in that
00:49:50.280 way absolutely and i think that nobody's noticing that um i mean and it's and it's hard for like
00:49:57.860 the it's hard for men to write like it sure men are no are not limited in that way like they don't
00:50:03.960 have a very specific window when they're fertile but they do have very specific window when they're
00:50:09.440 capable of forming the kinds of relationships that would turn into families even and so like
00:50:16.520 for me i think that especially with the way that there are prison sentences in this country where
00:50:21.900 they just are nonsensically long. Like no one should be sentenced to 300 years in prison. Like
00:50:28.560 it just doesn't make any like just just be reasonable. Like let's let's consider what the
00:50:33.420 sentence is going to mean for an actual human being's life and take that into consideration
00:50:38.900 when we're thinking about sentencing. And I think that the ways that women have sort of been pushed 1.00
00:50:45.880 into a justice system that was built by and for men and their needs and and and physical realities
00:50:54.700 aren't really taken into consideration in that process is an incredible disservice to and an
00:51:02.200 incredible harm that we're committing as a society like it it matters that by sentencing someone to
00:51:10.540 such a long amount of time, you are effectively limiting not just their freedom, but so much more
00:51:18.660 about their life that is fundamental to being a human being. I never should have faced the
00:51:27.820 prospect of never getting to have a family of my own because I was accused of a crime I didn't
00:51:33.880 commit. And yet I did. Amanda, thank you for using this platform to speak up for other wrongfully
00:51:43.860 convicted folks and even rightfully convicted folks, because like here the other reality is
00:51:50.320 like a lot of the women that I met in prison, they did commit crimes. They were also victims 0.88
00:51:54.720 of crime before they ever committed crimes. And how is it that society had let them fall
00:52:00.720 through the cracks and had refused them good opportunities to be productive people and just
00:52:07.320 punished them in the process. Like the amount of like, you know, I was one of the most fortunate
00:52:13.800 people in that circumstance. And I, and I say that as an innocent person who was wrongly accused and
00:52:20.220 put in prison. So like, you know, it's, it matters. We're all sort of implicated in the way that
00:52:26.380 society um limits the opportunities of people and we should be mindful of that oh absolutely
00:52:34.300 i feel like every time you talk to women who are in prison it's it's like oh you were obviously
00:52:41.080 coerced or like you are a survivor of domestic violence or trafficking like it is and just i
00:52:50.040 mean i'm i'm this is such a long a longer conversation but i i'm right there with you
00:52:54.960 I think like when you actually look at who we are locking up, sometimes for like just comically long amounts of time and the circumstances they came from, it's clear that we are not making our community safer.
00:53:07.080 We are just spreading more harm. And I'm right there with you.
00:53:11.480 Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's it's a difficult thing to look at because I think a lot of us would just like to think, oh, we'll just put the bad people in somewhere else.
00:53:19.600 We'll just take bad people and put them away. And it's like, that's, that's not, it's not just good people and bad people. It's not just who gets put away versus who doesn't get put away is not, doesn't also fall neatly along those lines. Like, let's be real. It's way more complicated than that. And, and oftentimes it's actually just the most vulnerable people who end up get putting away.
00:53:43.460 Amanda, where can folks keep up with Labyrinth and all the amazing work that you are doing?
00:53:49.600 Well, thank you for asking. You can go to NoxRobinson.com to follow all of the work that me and my husband do. We have a Patreon, so Patreon.com slash NoxRobinson. You can follow me on Twitter at AmandaKnox and on Instagram at AmamaKnox.
00:54:06.840 We'll see you next time.
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