There Are No Girls on the Internet - June 21, 2023


Shiny Happy People: It's not just the Duggars, religious zealots want to control your future (w⧸ Eve Ettinger)

Topics
ChatGPT gets sued; Google's anti-choice cash in; GLAAD grades Twitter; Teslas go full self-rampaging; Women be Gaming — NEWS ROUNDUP Elon Musk declares 'cis' a slur; Poll workers targeted by Trump+Giuliani exonerated; RFK Jr. and Joe Rogan say stupid things; Illinois bans book bans; Grammys are for humans; Zuckerburg vs. Musk cage match - NEWS ROUNDUP

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 1 minute

Words per minute

151.72

Word count

9,324

Sentence count

420

Harmful content

Misogyny

15

sentences flagged

Toxicity

31

sentences flagged

Hate speech

31

sentences flagged


Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
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00:00:34.940 I survived nine months in captivity,
00:00:38.460 and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them.
00:00:43.680 I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are The Survivor Files.
00:00:47.300 Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable,
00:00:51.020 abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.
00:00:54.640 These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive.
00:00:58.720 Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app,
00:01:03.280 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:01:06.600 If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality,
00:01:10.800 welcome home.
00:01:12.380 Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club,
00:01:15.520 part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island
00:01:18.560 deserve the same level of discourse.
00:01:20.600 Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture.
00:01:24.160 with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions.
00:01:28.920 Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.
00:01:30.700 Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:01:36.880 Just a heads up, today's episode talks about child abuse.
00:01:40.740 You don't want your kids to be safe. You want them to be under your control.
00:01:49.540 There Are No Girls on the Internet is a production of iHeartRadio and Unbossed Creative.
00:01:54.160 I'm Bridget Todd, and this is There Are No Girls on the Internet.
00:02:02.960 On their Discovery reality show, 19 Kids and Counting,
00:02:06.860 the Duggar family was portrayed as a sweet, loving, close-knit family.
00:02:11.580 Parents Michelle and Jim Bob Duggar were raising their 19 children,
00:02:15.320 nine daughters and ten sons, to be pure, modest, and godly,
00:02:20.240 which includes strict gender roles, having lots of kids,
00:02:23.780 and, of course, homeschooling.
00:02:26.020 But behind the cheery, upbeat show
00:02:28.380 masked a very deep darkness.
00:02:31.540 Josh Duggar, the oldest son, 0.99
00:02:33.360 sexually abused girls, 0.97
00:02:34.880 including his younger sisters.
00:02:36.820 He's serving a 12-year sentence
00:02:38.460 after authorities found
00:02:39.860 child sexual abuse material
00:02:41.620 on his computer. 0.87
00:02:43.660 The Duggars followed
00:02:44.520 the Institute in Basic Life Principles, 0.90
00:02:46.980 or IBLP,
00:02:48.520 a Christian organization
00:02:49.600 founded by Minister Bill Gothard
00:02:51.260 in 1961
00:02:52.200 that purports to teach families to find success
00:02:55.180 through strict adherence to IBLP's interpretation of the Bible. 0.99
00:02:59.800 Gender roles are rigid. 0.99
00:03:01.900 Women are inferior to the male heads of household. 1.00
00:03:04.860 Children must strictly obey their parents. 1.00
00:03:06.800 And all of this, all of these norms, are enforced through abuse.
00:03:11.080 But it's not just about how individual families run their households. 0.89
00:03:15.080 Because of what's called Christian dominionism, 0.86
00:03:17.580 the idea that Christians like the Duggars 1.00
00:03:19.340 should take control over government and society, 0.96
00:03:22.100 Religious zealots are striving for more and more control over all of our lives. 0.99
00:03:26.860 Eve Ettinger hosts a podcast called Kitchen Table Cults, 0.99
00:03:30.340 where they talk about life as an ex, someone who got out of a cult.
00:03:34.980 Their story is featured in the new Amazon Prime documentary about the Duggars called Shiny Happy People.
00:03:41.640 Hi, I'm Eve Ettinger, and I am on the board at the Coalition for Responsible Home Education. 0.82
00:03:48.460 Eve didn't grow up under IBLP, but they were raised in an adjacent ideology called quiverful,
00:03:54.280 and they know a lot about the kind of purity culture that's a hallmark of both movements.
00:03:58.800 So I just finished watching the shiny Happy People documentary.
00:04:03.380 First, I have to ask, what has the response been like from the show now that it's aired?
00:04:09.640 It's been so sweet, honestly. It's been really kind.
00:04:13.880 lots of survivors reaching out. They relate. They're grateful. They're really happy that
00:04:21.580 this is being told. And a lot of other people who are like, oh, my God, I had no idea. How can I
00:04:28.200 help? And so being able to direct them to CRHE and our work is just really satisfying.
00:04:34.880 We were talking a little bit off mic about this, but you have this
00:04:37.940 really prolific background as an activist, someone who writes about important issues. And
00:04:43.660 I'm happy to hear that the response has been positive and sweet and helpful and supportive,
00:04:49.660 as opposed to some of the other issues like your piece about the abortion rights movement,
00:04:53.980 things like that. I can imagine this feels like a change in getting those kinds of responses.
00:04:59.320 Night and day different. I've had to really up my security first things when things like this
00:05:05.100 go live because I've had a lot of hate directed my way, some active threats. And so it's been just
00:05:12.720 surreal to feel just the kindness around this. And I also have to, I think, thank the producers
00:05:19.700 for this. And I think the medium probably has a lot to do with that, given that there's so many
00:05:26.560 of us speaking out together. It's not just me writing a one-off piece, but also the producers.
00:05:32.380 I worked mostly with Corey and Olivia, and I cannot speak too highly of them. They've been
00:05:37.860 so wonderful and so kind. And there were certain topics that were really enmeshed in the stories
00:05:44.380 that I was telling that I find impossible to tell without those other pieces, but there's
00:05:51.440 elements of that that leave me vulnerable to people from my past. And they were able to really
00:05:57.000 cleanly edit out all of those things that left me open to a text and just really protect me.
00:06:02.680 And I felt very cared for by how they presented the material that they got.
00:06:08.180 So often when us, the viewers, are watching the finished product, the person who is the subject, the person who is being spoken about, who is sharing their experiences, which are often traumatic or painful or heavy, I hate it when I hear from them where it's like, oh, this felt really traumatizing or this felt exploitative.
00:06:24.860 exploitative. So it makes me very happy to hear that you felt like it was a good
00:06:28.700 situation for you and not something that was just like, how can we mine this person's pain more
00:06:35.360 for views? I really can tell when I'm watching something that feels like that and I don't like
00:06:40.020 it. Yeah. Part of the reason I chose to do this with them is that I felt that Lula Rich
00:06:46.580 preserved the dignity of the survivors, which was the piece that they had done before this.
00:06:52.560 And so that carried through. Olivia is incredibly careful, incredibly thoughtful, and just very trauma-informed. And I just felt really cared for. I think everybody did.
00:07:04.380 You know, something that they make really clear in the doc is how people watching shows like 19 Kids and Counting might not have really been privy to how harmful ideologies like IBLP actually are.
00:07:20.800 Why do you think that is?
00:07:21.820 Like, how is it that someone who watched this show could be surprised by some of what is then clarified in the documentary?
00:07:29.960 That's a response I've been seeing a lot of.
00:07:31.800 Like, oh, I knew something was off, but I didn't know what.
00:07:33.880 why do you think that is? There's some amount of our culture that like generally universal
00:07:43.920 American culture, um, where we kind of want to let other people do their thing. And, you know,
00:07:54.240 we may disagree with it. We may judge it. We may like hash it out on Twitter or the, you know,
00:07:58.800 the free gender forum exists like has existed there's a lot of rubbernecking but like 0.69
00:08:02.940 I think there's there's some amount of like you know this is part of the American persona to like
00:08:10.100 respect someone else's right to like destroy their life if you will and um but I think a lot
00:08:20.360 of people don't really think that someone would go that far it seems kind of like something maybe
00:08:29.160 we left in the past like it feels there's a brutality to what they are doing to their
00:08:34.040 children that perhaps feels archaic and like can't possibly be happening in this like modern time
00:08:40.620 anyone who's paying attention to like children rights children's rights issues knows otherwise
00:08:47.600 but I think that like a lot of people aren't looking at the hard stuff and
00:08:51.000 aren't, you know, it's entertainment.
00:08:53.060 So they're not looking at that and being like, what's wrong here?
00:08:57.020 You know,
00:08:57.400 let me go noodle around on Wikipedia to find out who Bill Gothard is.
00:09:00.600 They're, they're wanting to like veg out after work.
00:09:04.160 And so Kieran and I always say on the kitchen table cult podcast,
00:09:08.980 which is when I co-host with my friend Kieran Darkwater,
00:09:11.800 like the conspiracy is real.
00:09:13.040 if there's like an actual conspiracy um for christian dominionism that has been like
00:09:19.700 put in place over the last 30 plus years and it's not like conspiracy theories are again another like
00:09:27.300 pastime like a great icebreaker is like what's what's one conspiracy theory you like personally
00:09:33.300 would love to be for it to be real you know like that kind of chit chat um but it is very real and
00:09:41.140 And I think we just don't want to take it seriously because it means that there's a certain amount of religious freedom for the rest of us that would immediately be at stake.
00:09:55.880 Follow me here.
00:09:57.380 So I didn't grow up in an evangelical household, but I did grow up in a kind of old school, southern, like spare the rods, spoil the child kind of household.
00:10:08.200 And something that really struck me in watching the documentary is how when they were talking about the brutality of some of the physical abuse that was commonplace in their communities and how they had all of these specific ways to avoid the police getting involved with how they were, you know, abusing their kids, essentially.
00:10:25.760 I, you know, you talked about children's rights and this sort of children first ideology that we're starting to talk about now. That is not a vibe that I grew up with.
00:10:38.880 And part of me wonders if one of the ways that people didn't really necessarily want to see some of the more abusive aspects of these ideologies is because it's, even if you're not an evangelical, you might be beating your kids as, you know, and telling yourself it's discipline, I'm doing this for their own good.
00:10:57.320 You might have a mindset that says your kids are not people, your kids are your property. And the most important thing for your kid is to be respectful to you and not to express themselves, not to have needs, values, opinions, emotions. And so that would be very threatening, even if you were not evangelical.
00:11:13.100 Oh, yeah. It goes back a really long way. I mean, I think there's a piece of this that is like, historically, like, you know, women were property, right? Legally, there was a like, tradition of law around that.
00:11:31.160 and the women's like movement to end that children were under the same, had that same status.
00:11:43.100 And it really never changed because they didn't come along with the evolution of women's rights
00:11:47.640 very far. I talk about a lot about this in a recent series on Kitchen Table Cult. We did a
00:11:56.400 deep dive into the history of children's rise here. But then there's also, yeah, people don't,
00:12:04.420 people carry trauma from their past and they think that they turned out fine. And so it's okay to
00:12:10.260 like pass that forward, um, because they're not willing to acknowledge that people that they love
00:12:17.480 deeply harmed them. And that's a really hard thing to face. And it takes a lot of maturity to be able
00:12:24.180 to face that and not like implode. And then also people, people really just don't want to take kids
00:12:34.800 seriously. It's a lot easier to parent by breaking your child's spirit than to like take them
00:12:41.260 seriously as a rational individual with whom you need to negotiate because they have autonomy and
00:12:48.440 consent. It takes more time. It takes more work. And a lot of people are not willing to do that.
00:12:53.500 And a lot of people like have kids because they, you know, don't want to be alone or they want to have a legacy or they want to be able to micromanage someone else's life because a partner wouldn't stick around and let them do that.
00:13:10.280 You know, there's a lot of, like, immaturity that goes into why people have kids.
00:13:16.980 And that's one thing.
00:13:20.280 But then what you do with the children when you have them is it's very, very important to take them seriously as individuals with autonomy.
00:13:28.640 And that's really, really hard to accept.
00:13:31.100 In the documentary, we learn about the kinds of brutal abuse tactics the Duggars use with their children.
00:13:36.860 Tactics like blanket training, where a baby is put on a blanket with a toy just out of reach.
00:13:42.500 If the baby reaches off of the blanket for the toy, they're hit.
00:13:46.660 This is meant to break the child's spirit so that they're more obedient. 0.97
00:13:50.460 The film showcases the ways that spanking and brutal physical punishment
00:13:53.840 is glorified as a godly way for a parent to treat a child.
00:13:58.000 I say often that spanking is sexual abuse, and people really do not like that.
00:14:03.920 um i'm sorry that's an erogenous zone and you are like preparing i mean you saw in the
00:14:12.540 documentary it's it's functionally grooming for sexual abuse like the the whole i'm doing this
00:14:17.740 because i love you you need to submit to an adult who is violating your boundaries and you have to
00:14:25.300 go back and hug them after it's done and you have to accept them publicly and you have to have no
00:14:29.140 resentment you can't scream out like that's a sign of rebellion like all these things 0.82
00:14:34.940 it's it's sexual grooming it's predatory um in addition to just the like smacking your child 0.99
00:14:44.800 is like extremely fucked up i don't know there's just there's a lot there people don't like to look 0.99
00:14:51.340 at it they really really don't like to look at it they really really don't and i think 0.98
00:14:56.860 it's kind of like what you were saying I think part of it is that we as a society I think we
00:15:02.340 hate children we are very threatened by the idea that children are little adults and that if we
00:15:08.960 actually built a world that accommodated that reality that seems big and scary and threatening
00:15:14.380 so it's easier to believe that kids are just property you don't really need to think too
00:15:21.220 hard about it and how you treat them are you familiar with the UN convention on the rights
00:15:25.240 of the child? I am not. Okay. So, um, it's, you know, obviously like UN acts do not have like
00:15:34.280 control over our laws, but when we, you know, co-sign something that, you know, the international 0.98
00:15:45.880 community has agreed, like this is fucked up. Like it's, it's, it's endorsing a, like a standard 0.94
00:15:51.220 that we're aspiring to, right? And we never endorsed or ratified the UN Convention on the
00:16:01.160 Rights of the Child back in the 90s, early 90s, because Michael Ferris, who's the founder of the
00:16:07.580 Homeschool Legal Defense Association and was up until recently the president of Alliance Defending
00:16:13.560 freedom, which is a really, it's a hate group, um, lobbied and organized homeschoolers to
00:16:20.760 try to keep us from ratifying that because among other things, it asserts that a child has a right
00:16:29.380 to not be hit by their parents. Um, I first read this when I in entirety, I knew of it. I knew it
00:16:40.060 was considered bad in the fundamental some school world um but i first read it in its entirety when
00:16:45.180 i went to peace corps um i was serving in kyrgyzstan as a uh educator volunteer and
00:16:53.420 because kyrgyzstan had ratified it we had to read it as part of our training as educators there
00:16:59.740 wow and i i lost it i had to go leave go leave and sit in the hall for like an hour because it
00:17:08.200 was like all of these things that it's asserting like would have saved me would have saved my
00:17:15.040 childhood would have been wonderful to have had as these are our values as a nation and we just
00:17:23.020 don't like kids um so there's there's like a whole there's a whole like a lot of history behind that
00:17:30.780 and obviously again it wouldn't be binding in the way that a federal law would be but um
00:17:38.200 Just the fact that we won't even endorse that kind of aspirational value is deeply disturbing.
00:17:47.980 Let's take a quick break.
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00:18:37.840 that's 844-844-iheart if your bookshelf and your for you page are equally important to your
00:18:43.780 personality welcome home this is prose society the weekly podcast that's part book club part
00:18:51.400 group chat for thought daughters pop culture obsessives and anyone who thinks pride and
00:18:55.560 prejudice and love island deserve the same level of discourse i'm eli rallo and every week we're
00:19:00.840 connecting the dots between books the internet and the conversations everyone can't stop having
00:19:05.740 i'm gonna have to look up this story i'm obsessed so obsessed from best-selling authors and your
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00:19:28.320 of readers who love to think a little too much you're in the right place listen to pro society
00:19:33.820 on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts see you between the pages
00:19:41.220 When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months.
00:19:46.600 I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them.
00:19:52.980 I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files.
00:19:56.680 I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, 0.99
00:20:01.820 Shut up. Don't say anything. 0.99
00:20:05.140 Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable.
00:20:09.300 I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me.
00:20:13.760 I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming.
00:20:21.380 They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.
00:20:25.280 But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.
00:20:28.740 They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive.
00:20:31.840 Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:20:45.620 And we're back.
00:20:48.140 Today, Eva's part of the Coalition for Responsible Home Education, an organization that pushes back against the harmful, regressive, and insular worlds that these kinds of ideologies build by advocating for the rights of kids who are homeschooled.
00:21:01.840 The homeschool space has been deeply deregulated, thanks in part to the lobbying efforts of people like Michael Ferris, Republican activist, and the head of the Homeschool Legal Defense Association.
00:21:13.560 Eve says that homeschooling is a big part of how kids are further entrenched into and harmed by ideologies like IBLP and Quiverpool.
00:21:21.640 One of the big things I have to talk about is homeschooling, right? I have to imagine that the right to an education is something that, I don't know if it's spelled out in that, but like kids deserve to be educated.
00:21:37.000 It is, it is. I mean, yeah, it is.
00:21:39.060 I would imagine something that's so clear in the documentary is that homeschooling, there's a lot of things that contribute to the harm that is able to be done and perpetuated here. Homeschooling is a big one. What role do you see homeschooling as playing in all of this?
00:21:58.960 homeschooling enables abuse and i've written about this many many places like obviously
00:22:05.900 like general caveat of like there are great parents and homeschooling can be a really
00:22:12.080 wonderful tool but as it stands homeschooling has been systematically deregulated over the last
00:22:18.460 30 years by people like michael ferris um in order to elevate parental control
00:22:28.420 over a child's right to education and a child's right to an open future.
00:22:33.020 The net effect is that I'm in Virginia, and I was homeschooled in California and Virginia.
00:22:40.620 In Virginia, there's two ways you can register to be homeschooled.
00:22:44.120 One is the standard process where you report to the school board, I'm homeschooling,
00:22:48.460 and then you have to provide certain academic benchmarks to prove that there's academic progress
00:22:55.960 um that could be standardized testing that could be a portfolio like
00:22:59.820 um different states have various benchmarks that they use for that but in virginia you can also
00:23:07.780 register under religious exemption which basically says i'm homeschooling for religious reasons
00:23:11.820 and as soon as you do that you don't exist so this was established back in i want to say the
00:23:21.700 eighties. I don't think that's quite right. Um, but it was established originally to allow the
00:23:28.620 Mennonites to pull their kids from school to be part of the farming work in their community or
00:23:38.060 whatever they had going on and, you know, not have the mandatory education through 12th grade.
00:23:45.640 Um, and that's a homeschooling loophole that has been used. It's been like really, um, strongly
00:23:53.620 protected by, um, the homeschool parental rights extremist lobby. Uh, and kids, like if, if a
00:24:04.160 parent decided to homeschool their first kid and then decided that we're going to have a home birth
00:24:09.240 for the second kid and, Oh, we don't want to register this child as existing. If the home
00:24:15.180 earth goes really smoothly and nothing goes wrong, they could potentially have a child without a
00:24:21.260 social security number who is being educated at home under the religious exemption who the state
00:24:27.760 has no idea that they exist. And that's perfectly legal. Under the religious exemption, you could
00:24:34.500 have your kid graduate from high school without knowing how to read. And again, that would be
00:24:40.020 perfectly legal um virginia is kind of like one out of many different every state has a very
00:24:49.540 different set of regulations you can look yours up at um responsible homeschooling.org we've got
00:24:55.260 a list of states in there you know the current state of homeschooling by state um we consider
00:25:00.920 pennsylvania currently to be the the gold standard in terms of like how they track this stuff but
00:25:07.020 But we at CRHE have a vision of changing policies so that the child's right to an open future and a child's right to an education are preserved.
00:25:23.900 And currently, that's not the case. 0.86
00:25:26.040 And so all of that sets the stage for families like the Duggars.
00:25:34.140 Ironically, Arkansas is one of two states that does not allow a registered sex offender in the home if a family is homeschooling. 0.57
00:25:46.140 So if you want to register as a homeschooler, you have a registered sex offender in the home, you will not be permitted to homeschool in Arkansas.
00:25:55.820 But there are only two states that have that.
00:25:57.820 That is, I can't, I'm like, I'm, I'm, I believe you, but I am shocked. That is shocking information.
00:26:05.460 So, you know, like we're, we're looking at, um, groups like Moms for Liberty, right? They're
00:26:11.660 trying to, they're trying to be like, some of them might be homeschool moms coming to school 1.00
00:26:16.160 boards, trying to like regulate how things are censored. Um, this is based off of the model 0.62
00:26:22.360 that the homeschool lobby has been using to deregulate homeschooling and it's been wildly
00:26:26.960 successful, which is why CRHE exists, because we're homeschool alumni being like, this is 0.99
00:26:31.460 fucked up. 0.97
00:26:32.940 We would like a word here. 0.99
00:26:34.560 Right.
00:26:35.000 And the other side, because a lot of the lobbying was done by homeschool parents, they just
00:26:45.860 see us as bitter or disgruntled and don't take us seriously.
00:26:50.000 Our concerns are not real because, again, in their eyes, we're still kids.
00:26:54.840 it doesn't matter that i'm 34 and i have like a master's degree and like have taught in multiple
00:27:04.280 different colleges and like institutions of varying levels like i know what i'm talking
00:27:09.560 about when it comes to education and what kids need it doesn't matter because because yeah you
00:27:17.040 will always be a child in in their eyes there's not and i also think there's a kind of thing of
00:27:22.040 Like, oh, they're just biased because they didn't have a good experience.
00:27:27.380 So, you know, they don't know what they're talking about.
00:27:30.240 Some of the board members at CRHE had wonderful homeschooling experiences.
00:27:34.000 But because they saw the peers in the community who fell through the cracks, they're mad about it.
00:27:39.220 And they'd like to right the ship.
00:27:42.120 We'd like to make it safe for, you know, even if some of my homeschooling experience was great.
00:27:47.680 um don't need to like spend a lot of time getting into like the specifics because it's not up for
00:27:54.080 debate but like I like certain things like what did homeschooling look like for you um so I'm the
00:28:01.560 oldest of nine kids and um up until I was 13 and my mom had a set of twins numbers six and seven
00:28:10.800 in the lineup. Um, I had much more like support and like flexibility. I got to like have some
00:28:19.180 sort of input in the curriculum. I didn't have a lot of choices, but I got to choose within
00:28:23.480 options. Um, and my mom had time to like work with me on stuff, but once the twins arrived,
00:28:30.720 I was co-parenting the younger kids. I was babysitting, uh, ninth grade. I didn't know
00:28:36.520 school. I just read, you know, great books, works of literature and met while I was watching
00:28:42.140 children. Um, I got super behind in science and math. I did not have assistance to check my work
00:28:51.160 on things. I mostly had to do it myself. I had to, you know, go take the great book and like,
00:28:56.280 go check my answers and like, not have any idea how I got X algebra problem wrong. Um,
00:29:03.820 and then going to you know my mom or my dad for help would be like does one even remember how it
00:29:10.360 worked and does the other even have like the energy to even look at this or like there's a
00:29:14.660 screaming toddler who needs to be fed like let's go do that so i you know i have adhd i like to
00:29:24.020 learn i hustled and i didn't want to be stuck at home so like i was like an okay student on my own
00:29:30.160 but the environment was not conducive to learning and there were a lot of gaps that i've had to fill
00:29:35.920 on my own afterward um if you want to get a pretty good example of how it can look like that
00:29:40.840 like tara westover is educated felt very familiar in terms of like you know i i knew that the
00:29:48.200 holocaust had happened by the time i got to college but um but she didn't and that's not
00:29:54.500 uncommon or unheard of. Do you think part of it is gendered? Had you not been assigned a female 0.91
00:30:02.440 at birth, would you have been responsible for childcare at nine? Fuck yes. Because I was 1.00
00:30:11.000 expected to be a wife and mother someday. And the long-term theory was you don't really need to go
00:30:18.960 to college um but if you want to go to college that's fine but the only reason you would need
00:30:25.480 a college degree degree is like what if someday in the future your husband got disabled and
00:30:30.800 couldn't work and then you had to go earn money like that's the kind of like extrapolation there
00:30:36.140 was no like i really wish i could have taken my college search seriously and applied to ivy league
00:30:45.320 schools. Not like the Ivies are better, but at a certain point, I believe that they were. And I
00:30:50.940 had a lot of anger over the fact that I was directed at certain private Christian colleges
00:30:56.900 or super local colleges so that I could be close to home and be available. I left as far as I could
00:31:03.520 within those parameters. But again, I had options within a set of choices handed to me,
00:31:10.340 But I was not encouraged to, like, think about myself as someone who was going to be earning money in the future and having to support myself or having to take care of other people because I was training to be a wife and mom.
00:31:28.920 Guess what? Not a girl.
00:31:32.100 It didn't really work out that way. 0.99
00:31:36.960 Yeah.
00:31:37.480 Yeah. You know, I wonder, I read your amazingly written salon piece about homeschooling and
00:31:47.600 something that really struck me was how secrecy seemed to be a big part of it. Like if somebody
00:31:52.940 asks about your education, don't say this, say that. If somebody from the state comes poking
00:31:57.660 around, say this, not that. I think a lot of that was early on and that part of my life was
00:32:04.920 in California, especially. So, um, California is like homeschooling law at the time was
00:32:10.180 you registered as a private school. There was no limit on how many students a private school
00:32:16.320 had to have. And so each individual homeschool could operate as a private school. Um, and
00:32:23.800 that's how they, you know, registered to homeschool. So back then, you know, this is like
00:32:31.080 96 97 98 somewhere in there um when i was getting taught those things like homeschooling was not
00:32:38.300 very well known mean girls hadn't come out you didn't have like references um and so it felt 0.68
00:32:47.920 like one probably my mom didn't want to explain things in the grocery store
00:32:53.100 Two, there's serious fear mongering always and is still being carried out by HSLDA, Mike Ferris's org, to make homeschool parents pay dues to participate in their organization based off of the fear that you might need legal protection from us someday, legal representation from us someday because the state is probably going to come for your kids.
00:33:19.080 We were taught to not trust social workers or CPS to see them as a threat.
00:33:27.080 More after a quick break.
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00:34:20.740 When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months.
00:34:26.200 I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them.
00:34:32.580 I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files.
00:34:36.280 I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, 0.99
00:34:41.700 Shut up. Don't say anything. 0.99
00:34:44.360 Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable.
00:34:48.900 I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me.
00:34:53.460 I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming.
00:35:00.900 They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.
00:35:04.860 But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.
00:35:08.300 They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive.
00:35:11.440 Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:35:20.400 If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home.
00:35:26.340 This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters, pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse.
00:35:38.800 I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having.
00:35:45.920 I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.
00:35:49.500 From best-selling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table.
00:35:55.440 It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse.
00:36:02.920 Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place.
00:36:12.540 Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
00:36:18.600 See you between the pages.
00:36:26.080 Let's get right back into it.
00:36:28.260 Teaching kids to fear agents of the state like social workers and CPS
00:36:32.280 is sadly not an uncommon thing for some parents.
00:36:36.240 Jennifer Jean Hart and Sarah Margaret Hart adopted six Black children
00:36:40.060 who the women physically abused and neglected.
00:36:43.100 When Child Protective Services would get involved in one state, 1.00
00:36:46.240 the women would pack up the kids and flee to another state. 0.77
00:36:49.020 Until eventually, in 2018, the women loaded all of their kids into their SUV 1.00
00:36:54.080 and intentionally drove it off a cliff.
00:36:56.380 none of them survived if you look at you know the the heart family case that's a very that's
00:37:04.260 a very classic case of this it's like they left the state to go to oregon i think they were in
00:37:11.040 wisconsin they were in the upper midwest um because the cps case was open and they were
00:37:16.320 being looked into and they were trying to avoid it and that was happening again in oregon and
00:37:21.560 that's when they took that fatal road trip. Being trained to be afraid of the resources that are
00:37:30.040 there to protect children, again, kind of goes hand in hand with the they hate kids. You don't
00:37:35.720 want your kids to be safe. You want them to be under your control. Fuck. Thinking back about
00:37:42.360 how fear is really used to control people's behavior, the documentary makes this interesting
00:37:47.900 point that all of this ideology was really picking up steam on the backdrop of things like school
00:37:53.600 desegregation. And I was just like watching and I was like, God damn, these people really did not 0.99
00:37:57.940 want to go to school with black people. Like they set up this whole thing. It is very clearly laid 1.00
00:38:04.880 out. There's a really good piece I can send you that kind of, it's a Politico piece, I believe,
00:38:09.620 that documents this, but it's basically like Brown v. Board, white people started private
00:38:15.620 Christian schools. And then the private Christian schools started getting desegregated. You look at
00:38:19.640 Bob Jones University and like the ruling there. Um, and they fucking panicked and went to 0.99
00:38:26.480 homeschooling. And I, you know, look, looking at the homeschooling community I grew up in both in 0.98
00:38:33.480 California and Virginia, predominantly white. Um, there were people, people of color and there's
00:38:39.900 other you know communities within that um some immigrant families you know who were choosing that
00:38:49.220 because it felt safer for various reasons like but it's just the way it started was like very
00:38:57.160 clearly a move um a fear-based move around white supremacist ideology and um that is still
00:39:08.480 like kind of so embedded in the movement you can't find homeschool curriculum there's a few
00:39:15.860 options that are not overtly religious or don't have like overtly revisionist history um so as
00:39:25.040 the during the pandemic the like spate of people leaving to go homeschool their kids
00:39:32.760 There was a, it seemed like there was a wave of especially black homeschool families starting to homeschool. Um, I just, I feel really bad for them because like, yes, this is a really good and safe option for you.
00:39:45.840 And also, um, you're walking into a community that is really, uh, stacked against you and the resources that are available are directly opposed to any kind of like adequate education.
00:40:04.440 Um, it's, I just, I just feel bad that, you know, this is a really good option for them and it's not safe.
00:40:11.340 And again, that's part of why CRHE exists is like, this should be safe. There should be, you know, there should be good resources. We'd love to see like homeschoolers being able to be integrated into public school extracurriculars, you know, those kinds of things where you're part of the community, but you get to do it your way.
00:40:33.260 yeah you've made really clear that the kind of abuse that is made worse by homeschooling that
00:40:40.840 we saw in the documentary is preventable what are some solutions to preventing that kind of thing
00:40:45.260 so i did a piece or team vogue about this with my friend nyla burton one of the things we covered
00:40:54.060 in our reporting or was a lot of former homeschoolers who are now social workers talking
00:40:59.240 about we don't want more like mandatory oversights we like yes we want more interactions with
00:41:07.960 mandatory reporters or mandated reporters but not through like a top-down like you have to meet with
00:41:14.340 this person every year instead opening things opening up existing resources in existing
00:41:19.600 communities where they will interact with mandated reporters um so that you avoid the
00:41:26.120 carceral top-down stuff um where if you open up my kid is homeschooled but wants to participate
00:41:34.280 in band and the local middle school down the street has a really good band program and we
00:41:38.820 can like i can drop tommy off at three for band practice and like he's part of the community and
00:41:45.080 that teacher is a mandated reporter and like so providing more integration resources for
00:41:52.720 homeschoolers to participate in systems that already exist um to be able to take some pressure
00:42:01.220 off of parents for being the sole source of educational resources and just kind of like
00:42:08.140 what can how can we like bring them in how can we make things accessible um and this will like
00:42:17.180 I feel like everybody would benefit from this this will help the kids with disabilities who
00:42:22.300 being homeschooled, but like need to participate in certain things or like, you know, being able
00:42:27.420 to pick and choose more and integrate yourself as much as you want. Well, obviously like how to
00:42:37.280 manage that policy-wise is complex, but I feel like a more integrated vision is probably the
00:42:44.020 safest way forward for everybody. Yeah, that was really clear to me watching the documentary when
00:42:51.000 folks would talk about how they didn't have they didn't have tv they didn't have movies they didn't
00:42:58.200 have like when there was a hurricane there's somebody had to a family member had to call
00:43:02.100 because they didn't have that even that level of access to the outside world and when people are
00:43:07.280 so closed off and these communities and families become so insular that really is just like a
00:43:12.840 breeding ground not not to mention the way that these young people are being taught like do
00:43:17.520 whatever the oldest male tells you to or you know if somebody is abusing you that's actually good
00:43:23.400 for you it's just pretty obviously like a recipe for not great stuff happening not safe stuff
00:43:29.320 happening yeah i it's like i mean i also like kind of think about this in terms of
00:43:38.400 i this is this is absolutely opening a can of worms but there is kind of a like
00:43:44.940 back rooms conversation among the ex-homeschooler community about like you know for a while and I
00:43:55.620 think now the question has been closed but for a while before the most recent allegations came out
00:43:59.840 is Josh Duggar actually a pedophile or was he just not given access to sex ed and I think like
00:44:07.700 now like child porn case closed but up before that there was a lot of conversation about like
00:44:14.940 we didn't get access to sex ed and so stories of siblings checking each other out
00:44:23.820 to figure things out is a really like terrifyingly common experience for a lot of people
00:44:34.400 um and you just you just set everybody up to fail if you don't anticipate curiosity and
00:44:44.400 provide resources and education. It kind of goes every which way. Kids having information about
00:44:56.140 childbirth because mom had a home birth in the living room, but not knowing about how their
00:45:00.140 body parts work. Just the lack of information really sets you up to fail. Definitely. And
00:45:10.240 like not leaving space for the realities of what kids are going to wonder about and be curious
00:45:17.580 about and have questions about. Again, they're autonomous beings. You can't anticipate
00:45:22.980 everything. You can't control everything. Like they are going to surprise the fuck out of you
00:45:28.140 if you let them. Just be willing to like go along and provide resources for them. It's not that hard.
00:45:36.460 from iblp to quiverful the point of these harmful ideologies is not just about how one family raises
00:45:45.240 their kids it's much more than that with young people being trained and educated to serve at
00:45:50.480 the highest levels of government and politics and using social media platforms like tiktok
00:45:55.260 and youtube to put a more palatable telegenic sheen on their ideology the goal is pretty
00:46:00.860 explicitly world domination. One of the points that I thought was so scary and salient in the
00:46:08.120 film is this idea at the end where it's like, it's not just about this one ideology. This is about
00:46:14.940 people who are harmful, who are also very well connected politically, have lots of money,
00:46:21.100 who are doing this because they ultimately want global domination. They want to be at the highest
00:46:27.220 levels of government and politics. They want to be the people who are making decisions for the
00:46:30.500 rest of us for what we can and cannot do um how have you seen this playing out and should we be
00:46:36.300 worried oh god um so there's a whole lot there's a whole lot that goes into this um so i i think
00:46:46.380 this was clear in the film but like want to just like reiterate i did not grow up in iblp
00:46:50.620 i grew up in quiverful and the venn diagram is like almost over top of each other but not quite
00:46:57.000 um the only reason we didn't do that is because my dad liked to play his electric guitar and
00:47:03.660 that is satanic in IVLP so but pretty much everything else we we adopted and there's a
00:47:11.340 lot of that like overlap if you look at R.J. Rashtuni so kind of the grandfather of Christian
00:47:19.920 dominionism um and the like intellectual trickle down effect that he had on everybody you could
00:47:28.280 play bingo with all of the like stuff that's going on with the southern baptist church convention
00:47:34.860 right now and evicting women from from practicing as pastors and the uh hillsong documentary stuff
00:47:44.380 and the um god willow willow creek baptist church problems and all just like anytime there's a
00:47:55.720 christian sex scandal or like overt racism happening in a church community you can just
00:48:02.040 like there's there's a genealogy you can trace back to these these old school christian dominionists
00:48:09.120 who were, like, trying to basically, like, push the Confederacy into theocratic territory.
00:48:18.840 Like, I sound like the guy with the string map on the wall, but I built out the string map, and it's pretty solid.
00:48:28.180 Yeah.
00:48:28.780 The bingo card is, like, Rushduni, Schlafly.
00:48:34.780 It just goes on and on.
00:48:36.620 I mean, that's one of the things that's like, it kind of goes back to what we opened the conversation with about this idea that we do have this innate thing in us in society that's like, oh, if this person wants to live like this, even if it's harmful to them, let them.
00:48:52.720 But some of these harmful ideologies, it's not enough that they live like this and they want their kids to live like this. 0.98
00:48:58.540 They want me, a bitch they've never met, to live like this. 1.00
00:49:01.260 They want what I can do and can't do. 1.00
00:49:03.880 They want to make decisions.
00:49:04.880 It's the same thing like you were saying, like the homeschooled parents, Moms for Liberty, their kids are not even at the public school, but they want to be at that school making decisions for what other people's kids can and cannot read.
00:49:16.720 What do we do with that? 0.82
00:49:18.860 It's called Christian dominionism. 0.95
00:49:20.820 It's a thing. 0.96
00:49:23.580 It's fascist.
00:49:25.220 That's ultimately what it is. 1.00
00:49:27.240 It's Christian fascism. 0.96
00:49:28.740 And, like, there's different ways people get into it.
00:49:34.660 Some of them have a literal eschatological belief that if America is not made into a Christian nation, then Jesus will never have a second coming.
00:49:46.480 like full on, full on, um, it's deeply anti-Semitic, um, belief system about the way end
00:50:00.540 times should work and will work if we do or do not become a Christian nation. And then, 0.52
00:50:06.420 and then there's other people who are much more like soft about it, but they, they kind of end
00:50:12.220 up in the same place through other ways just in terms of like um wanting to have these like
00:50:18.940 christian values imposed upon people or wanting to be able to functionally eliminate certain 0.58
00:50:26.980 segments of society i mean like what is happening right now is is a very slow trans genocide like 0.73
00:50:33.080 that's the plan um and these book bands are like the start of it and and that's why i'm calling it 0.90
00:50:41.320 fascism because it's it's looks very slow but that's where it's going to end and they all get
00:50:48.020 to the same place no matter where they they start if their interest is controlling children
00:50:54.500 and controlling access to information and consolidating power
00:50:59.780 even if it's said by a really sweet seeming lady with a baby voice and big hair it's still fascism 1.00
00:51:08.300 I was going to do a Michelle imitation, but I can't.
00:51:12.540 I can't bring myself to do it.
00:51:13.920 That voice is like something.
00:51:16.720 It's like the stuff that she is saying is like terrifying.
00:51:19.300 And it's that much more terrifying that she's saying it in that voice.
00:51:22.560 I was like, oh, my God.
00:51:24.100 It's called having a gentle and quiet spirit.
00:51:27.700 It chills up my spine.
00:51:30.800 Yeah, it's really bad.
00:51:32.580 It looks real pretty.
00:51:36.420 I mean.
00:51:36.680 but then again Ivanka also looks really pretty like I
00:51:41.860 speaking of like polishing up things that are scary having grown up in the quiverful movement
00:51:51.160 which is basically this theology that's like having lots and lots of kids is a blessing from
00:51:54.660 God do you see the ways that right now like there are lots of tech billionaires like Elon Musk who
00:52:00.400 are really into pronatalism where they're like I want to have as many super babies as I can to
00:52:05.260 repopulate the earth and to make sure that like you know kids with lots of kids with my good genes
00:52:11.720 quote-unquote are running around do you do you see this as like a new version of the same kind
00:52:17.660 of thinking that's like kind of like vaguely eugenicist where it's like my dna it's explicitly
00:52:23.460 eugenicist not if you ask not if you ask people like elon musk they're like what do you mean like
00:52:28.280 i'm sorry my dna is just special you ask any disabled person they will say it's eugenicist
00:52:33.280 and they're the ones that get to have the authority on that. 0.83
00:52:35.660 Yeah, no, it is horrible.
00:52:38.080 And I can't believe, I guess the reason why I say,
00:52:41.220 like, I think that we are being sold right now
00:52:44.900 that it's actually fine.
00:52:46.180 It's eugenicist, but like, there's that couple who they,
00:52:49.080 I forget what magazine they were in,
00:52:50.480 but it's like, I think that right now we are being sold
00:52:53.260 that it's smart, good.
00:52:55.080 These people are doing their part to make,
00:52:58.460 you know, the future better, blah, blah, blah.
00:53:00.220 I think we are being packaged eugenicism with a pretty package, and we're being told that actually it's good for the world.
00:53:08.200 And also, like, I'm sorry, Elon, if your jeans are so good, one, what about that hairline?
00:53:14.480 We've seen the before pictures.
00:53:16.060 And two, he has literally lost more money than anyone in history has ever lost.
00:53:24.340 If you just look at the Twitter deal.
00:53:27.700 And those jeans don't sound good to me.
00:53:29.320 But, like, yeah, no, the pronatalist, like, birth, you know, reproduced, reproduction fetish, whatever it is, it's not that dissimilar.
00:53:41.980 They're just, you know, putting a text bin on it rather than, you know, a verse from Proverbs.
00:53:50.120 Yeah, that's exactly what I think.
00:53:52.100 I think if you told some of these people it's the same it's the same thing just packaged
00:53:58.000 differently they would really resent that they'd be like what are you talking about I'm a smart
00:54:02.080 techie I live in San Francisco make them squirm good make them squirm you know another thing I'm
00:54:08.420 curious about is how when it comes to like the documentary and the work that you're doing with
00:54:14.700 Kitchen Table Colts amazing podcast uh your writing does it feel good to just be like getting
00:54:19.780 this out talking about it it does and also like i have so many other things that i am interested in
00:54:28.200 and have been working on writing about that like i can't wait till like this is obsolete like we've
00:54:33.680 been trying to end kitchen table cult for so long and every year we're like guess we're in for
00:54:41.260 another one because these things keep happening that are relevant and unfortunately we still have
00:54:47.400 stuff to say. I would love to be able to shut up about this. I would love for this to be irrelevant.
00:54:56.000 I would love for homeschool policy to exist in such a way that CRHG feels like we have nothing
00:55:02.500 to do. That would be great. It would be so nice. It's cathartic. And also, I want to write a
00:55:09.820 memoir about my garden. Thank you. What does it feel like to have this life that you have? You
00:55:15.220 have this full dynamic life full of interests and work and friends and culture and color and fun
00:55:24.200 did you what what is that like like did you feel like that would be a life that you had when you
00:55:30.700 were young um no uh i have two answers for you when is this this t-shirt i bring that we need
00:55:38.460 Thriving out of spite.
00:55:42.760 There's a little bit of that that's like, oh, you said I couldn't do that. 1.00
00:55:46.780 Fuck you. 1.00
00:55:48.680 But there's actually a lot of it that's like I have lived far beyond the scope of my imagination that I had for my life when I was a teenager. 1.00
00:55:59.740 And so sometimes I feel a little like I'm floundering because I'm like anything else that I do is so far removed from anything I ever thought possible that like I'm just like inventing new goals and inventing new visions for my future.
00:56:18.360 it's really cool and it's also like wow I never it's it's the the thought of the you know I sort
00:56:25.740 of have experienced this in another sense but there's the the thought of like when you've
00:56:31.260 experienced a long period of depression and you're like damn it I'm still alive like what now
00:56:35.840 like I didn't think I'd live to be x and then now I'm here might as well just like figure stuff out 0.57
00:56:42.740 like it's it's that it's a little of that like I didn't think I'd get this far whatever else
00:56:49.360 happens is just really cool and gravy but also um I struggle to dream big any about it because
00:56:59.720 there's there's so much that I've already been able to do that was so seems so impossible
00:57:04.080 that's kind of beautiful yeah it's it's fucking rad it's fucking rad
00:57:11.140 Eve, is there anything that I did not ask that you want to make sure gets included?
00:57:16.780 I think that it's important to know that CRHE is the only organization founded and run by
00:57:24.000 homeschool alumni for homeschool kids and their rights. I think it's important to know that
00:57:28.560 we are still largely a volunteer-run organization, and we would love to be able to pay all of our
00:57:36.000 staff full time. So we are looking for monthly donors. If you feel so led to use the church
00:57:44.260 language, go for it. We are about at the end of our fiscal year. So by June 30th, that's the end 0.98
00:57:53.480 of our end of the year fundraising drive. And being able to have monthly donors helps us be
00:58:00.680 able to project who we're going to be able to pay next year. And that would mean a lot to all of us.
00:58:06.700 Where can folks donate and get involved and learn more?
00:58:11.100 Responsiblehomeschooling.org. 0.56
00:58:13.520 That's the place.
00:58:15.080 Go find them. 0.71
00:58:16.300 Also, where can folks hear Kitchentable Cults?
00:58:20.680 Kitchentablecult.com.
00:58:23.100 We have various handles that's either KitchentableCults or KitchentableCultPod, depending on what we're able to get.
00:58:29.180 But we are available on all of your usual podcast platforms.
00:58:32.760 And if you become a patron, we have a Patreon, um, we have a Slack that is largely survivors
00:58:40.380 venting and sharing their like little and big wins, um, in the, after we escaped with
00:58:47.380 now what world.
00:58:48.940 So it's pretty great.
00:58:50.520 I love it.
00:58:51.400 Thrive out of spite Eve Ettinger.
00:58:53.600 Thank you so much for being here.
00:58:54.580 And thanks for the work that you're doing.
00:58:56.080 Thank you for having me.
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