There Are No Girls on the Internet - WHAT WE'RE LISTENING TO — Afterlives： The Layleen Polanco Story

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00:00:48.920 Each week, we're connecting the dots

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00:01:05.140 We talk a lot about how the internet can be used as a tool to draw attention to stories

00:01:09.240 that would otherwise fall under the radar.

00:01:11.580 Afterlives, a new podcast from iHeart's Outspoken network, spotlights one of those stories.

00:01:17.000 Afterlives examines the life and legacy of Lailene Polanco,

00:01:19.960 a transgender Afro-Latina who tragically died at New York City's Rikers Island Jail.

00:01:25.700 Lailene's death was totally preventable,

00:01:28.100 and this new podcast sets out to investigate the systems of power that led to her untimely passing,

00:01:33.260 as well as how her story sparked national movements for change.

00:01:36.720 As we're seeing more and more legislation policing how trans people exist,

00:01:40.440 including how they show up online, this story is more important than ever.

00:01:44.220 Thank you so much for listening.

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00:01:46.960 Here's Afterlives, the Lailene Polanco story, episode one.

00:01:50.360 Afterlives is a production of iHeart Podcast

00:01:54.540 and the Outspoken Podcast Network

00:01:57.140 in partnership with School of Humans

00:01:59.740 Just a heads up

00:02:06.180 the following episode discusses transphobia

00:02:09.800 racism, mental health

00:02:12.640 suicide and violence

00:02:15.200 Take care while listening

00:02:20.360 ready sing it sing it wait let me sing it first you'll never see me again

00:02:39.040 so no one's gonna cry for you now sing it okay you'll never see me again

00:02:46.840 That last voice, that's Lailene Polanco.

00:02:51.280 She's singing Cry For You by the Swedish musician, September.

00:02:58.020 Lailene's niece, Aaliyah, is the one goading her on,

00:03:02.760 trying to get her to belt it out for the camera. 0.98

00:03:05.200 Do it, come on, I want to finish this. 1.00

00:03:06.720 You'll never see me again! 0.90

00:03:08.760 I first learned who Lailene was back in June of 2019.

00:03:20.500 A friend and fellow activist texted me a four-sentence New York Post article

00:03:26.500 about a trans woman who had died hours earlier in a cell on Rikers Island,

00:03:33.340 New York City's notorious jail complex.

00:03:39.600 We had few details at the time.

00:03:42.700 Even Layleen's name wasn't public yet.

00:03:46.320 But the little information we did have was enough for us to know

00:03:50.320 we'd lost a member of our cherished community.

00:03:54.420 And we needed answers.

00:03:56.680 I'm a journalist and an activist.

00:04:00.000 I know some people find those descriptors at odds.

00:04:02.880 But for me, storytelling and social justice go hand in hand.

00:04:08.760 Throughout my career, I found it important to prioritize stories of trans people,

00:04:14.720 specifically trans women of color like myself.

00:04:17.720 Our lives, our joy, our struggles, and our truth.

00:04:24.300 A difficult part of that truth is that many of us are dying.

00:04:30.200 There is growing concern in this country and fear about deadly attacks against transgender Americans,

00:04:37.140 particularly trans women of color.

00:04:39.440 As more information surfaced about Lailene's death,

00:04:43.300 something shifted in me.

00:04:45.860 Here was an Afro-Latina whose story felt like it touched

00:04:49.880 so many systems of power that affect trans women.

00:04:53.940 I connected with her.

00:04:55.820 I mourned her.

00:04:57.580 And I wasn't alone.

00:05:01.180 Hundreds gathered in New York City Monday

00:05:03.040 to demand justice for Lailene Palenco.

00:05:05.160 The recent death of a 27-year-old woman on Rikers Island

00:05:12.180 is raising questions about the way officials there

00:05:14.740 hold people in solitary confinement.

00:05:16.740 We have a full investigation going on. 0.98

00:05:18.820 Lailene Polanco could have been released from Rikers 0.93

00:05:21.340 if she was able to post her bail of just $500. 1.00

00:05:25.440 Trans lives matter. 1.00

00:05:26.980 Black. 1.00

00:05:27.380 Trans lives matter. 1.00

00:05:28.880 Black. 1.00

00:05:29.400 And every time they come, for one of us, 0.90

00:05:32.220 we come stronger.

00:05:35.160 It's been four years since Lailene's death on Rikers Island.

00:05:46.820 Four years since she was left unattended in solitary confinement.

00:05:51.740 Four years since her family and friends first shed tears over her loss

00:05:57.380 and turned those tears into rage.

00:06:00.700 That rage into action.

00:06:03.480 We'll discuss her death and what led up to it in detail on this podcast.

00:06:08.700 But before we talk about how we lost Lailene and the many ways the criminal justice system failed her,

00:06:15.280 before we dig into the remarkable ways her legacy endures today,

00:06:21.060 I want you to know about her life.

00:06:24.800 I'm your host, Raquel Willis, and this is Afterlives.

00:06:32.940 Thank you.

00:07:03.640 Lailene.

00:07:06.900 Lailene was born on October 4th, 1991 in the Dominican Republic.

00:07:12.880 Her family moved to New York when she was two years old.

00:07:16.860 First to the Bronx and then just outside of the city to Yonkers.

00:07:21.720 And if there's one thing you need to know about Lailene,

00:07:24.760 it's that she was the life of the party. 0.98

00:07:27.860 Lailene loved to dance. She loved to sing.

00:07:29.920 She was just happy to be alive.

00:07:31.900 That's Lailene's older sister, Melania Brown.

00:07:35.360 They were born about three years apart.

00:07:38.020 The two of them were always close. 0.66

00:07:41.080 Lailene brought out a spark in Melania. 0.70

00:07:43.760 She was full of energy and always up for an adventure.

00:07:48.140 Melania says she could always count on her,

00:07:50.660 whether she needed a confidant or just a good laugh.

00:07:54.740 In the DR, Melania remembers how freeing it felt

00:07:58.420 for them to take baths in the rain.

00:08:01.100 When they moved to the States, they'd go on family outings, taking boats around the New York harbor.

00:08:07.460 They loved watching Pixar movies with their brother Solomon.

00:08:11.780 Toy Story was Layleen's favorite.

00:08:14.580 She also loved animals and dreamt of growing up to be a vet.

00:08:19.320 Most of all, Melania and Layleen liked to joke around.

00:08:23.580 We found this doll somewhere, and my mom was, like, freaked out about the doll because it looked like a real baby.

00:08:30.200 She says their mom, Aracelys, said, get rid of that doll.

00:08:34.700 But they didn't.

00:08:35.980 Instead.

00:08:37.120 We used to put the doll in the middle of the street and then we would hide behind the cars.

00:08:41.640 And people would, like, just stop and freak out.

00:08:44.540 And, like, you know, we would just be cracking up watching them.

00:08:47.920 And then they'd just throw the doll to the side and then we'll do it again.

00:08:51.220 Their mom always encouraged them to play outside, even if that doll prank wasn't exactly what she had in mind.

00:08:59.620 For the most part, their family got on pretty well.

00:09:02.940 They had their routines, their traditions.

00:09:06.320 Aracelys would play ballads in Spanish throughout the house.

00:09:09.920 And she dragged them to church every Sunday.

00:09:13.060 Lailene and I used to be like, oh my God, not again.

00:09:15.420 We just went. 1.00

00:09:16.580 My mom would be like, that was a week ago.

00:09:18.620 Like, we was just there.

00:09:21.300 This was Lailene's world as a child.

00:09:24.500 Church choir, climbing rocks outside the house,

00:09:27.680 a close nuclear family led by a strong woman.

00:09:32.780 As she and her siblings got older,

00:09:35.240 Lailene's sense of identity developed too.

00:09:38.500 I started realizing that I really had a sister.

00:09:41.480 She started loving flowers and I like to get dirty

00:09:45.140 and she was more like, ew, no.

00:09:48.040 Solomon and I always knew.

00:09:50.240 We just never were the type to like flat out ask.

00:09:53.680 When she feels comfortable, she'll come

00:09:55.760 and she'll talk to us.

00:09:57.680 I remember one day we was just playing Mortal Kombat, which was like one of our favorite

00:10:03.180 games and Lailene paused the game and Solomon's like, because you're about to lose, I remember

00:10:08.740 that fight.

00:10:09.740 And Lailene's like, no, I paused the game because I got to say something. 0.63

00:10:13.160 And then that's when Lailene came out as being gay.

00:10:17.320 Solomon and I was like, really?

00:10:20.360 This is why you paused the game?

00:10:22.360 Because, I mean, we already knew that, like, I paused the game.

00:10:28.400 That was when Lailene was 12.

00:10:31.080 But about a year later, Lailene started to express herself and her identity in other ways.

00:10:37.440 Lailene was just like, well, can I use your stuff?

00:10:41.520 It was Halloween, which had always been one of Lailene and Melania's favorite holidays.

00:10:48.420 And she's like, your stuff, let me go get it.

00:10:50.260 And she comes back with my clothes, my bra, my pants, my shirt, my shoes, everything.

00:10:57.060 And she's like, can you help me put it on?

00:10:59.300 I was like, OK, fine.

00:11:00.200 I helped her get dressed.

00:11:02.100 We stuffed so much tissue.

00:11:04.860 And I remember I'm telling her, I'm like, I feel like I'm stuffing you like a turkey.

00:11:07.820 And we was just cracking up.

00:11:09.480 And I flat ironed her hair.

00:11:11.360 And she went outside.

00:11:13.340 She came back inside.

00:11:15.800 Like, OK.

00:11:17.100 I'm like, so how do you feel?

00:11:18.580 And she was just like, this is who I'm supposed to be.

00:11:21.180 Layleen has two birthdays in her sister's eyes 0.72

00:11:28.000 The day she was born into the world

00:11:30.540 And that Halloween night

00:11:32.640 When she expressed to Melania for the first time

00:11:35.620 In her own way

00:11:37.000 That she was a trans woman 1.00

00:11:39.860 Melania still goes all out for Halloween 0.99

00:11:44.840 To celebrate her sister 1.00

00:11:46.220 Spiders, zombies 1.00

00:11:48.380 A six foot witch outside of the house 1.00

00:11:51.680 Even Lailene's mom gets in on it. 1.00

00:11:54.180 And she's always hated Halloween.

00:12:02.140 As Lailene got older, she grew into herself more and more.

00:12:08.520 And something that made her feel most alive was music.

00:12:13.680 Growing up, Lailene was into house music. 0.75

00:12:17.000 Lailene started dragging me into her world and what she liked.

00:12:20.380 And then I started liking the house music.

00:12:23.260 The house music will only be played really like between her and I.

00:12:27.180 If I'm going through something or she's going through something,

00:12:29.500 we'll put like the craziest, loudest house music and we'll just dance it off.

00:12:34.640 As a teenager, Lailene's love for house music often led her to clubs and parties in New York

00:12:41.520 with other queer and trans people of color.

00:12:44.540 She wanted to get her life and meet more people like her.

00:12:48.540 And she didn't care if that meant staying out all night and dealing with her mom getting angry at her the next day. 0.99

00:12:57.940 At a club in the Bronx, she met a trans woman named Leslie, who offered to help her get access to hormone replacement therapy.

00:13:07.100 She became a mother figure to her, and a new world opened up.

00:13:12.900 Lailene became more embedded within the trans community

00:13:15.740 and New York City's iconic ballroom scene.

00:13:19.600 Yes, she had some family who affirmed her transness,

00:13:23.880 but through ballroom, she found a second family,

00:13:28.140 a chosen family who understood her experience as their own

00:13:32.700 and encouraged her to step into herself

00:13:35.520 in ways she never had before. 0.99

00:13:37.540 Layleen discovers home in the house of Extravaganza after the break.

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00:14:29.040 So whatever your customers listen to, they'll hear your message.

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00:14:46.580 When I was 14 years old, I was kidnapped and held captive for nine months.

00:14:52.460 I survived, and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive what should have destroyed them.

00:14:58.880 I'm Elizabeth Smart, and these are the Survivor Files.

00:15:02.360 I just remember this low, taunting voice next to my ear saying, shut up, don't say anything.

00:15:10.940 Every week, I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable.

00:15:15.200 I knew if he woke up, without a doubt, he was going to hurt me.

00:15:19.760 I started feeling that there was someone at the end of my bed, and I just started screaming.

00:15:27.180 They are abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.

00:15:31.020 But these aren't stories about what's taken from them.

00:15:34.680 They're stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

00:15:38.280 Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:15:49.240 We're back with Afterlives.

00:15:55.740 After growing up in Yonkers and coming out to her family as a trans woman, 1.00

00:16:00.040 Lailene Polanco would find community in New York City's ballroom scene.

00:16:08.500 Ballroom is a community rooted in queerness, gender expression, performance, and solidarity.

00:16:16.980 And the community as we know it today has roots that trace back to Harlem in the 1960s.

00:16:24.420 Black and Latinx, LGBTQ plus folks gathered for extravagant so-called balls,

00:16:30.960 complete with runway categories, competing houses, and vogue battles.

00:16:36.540 These events were organized as an alternative to existing drag balls 0.71

00:16:40.900 that traditionally excluded and discriminated against Black and brown people.

00:16:47.040 Lailene finding community through ballroom is no surprise.

00:16:51.740 It's a world where people living on the margins can center themselves and their lived experience. 0.93

00:16:58.840 The category is Butch Queen first time in drags at a ball.

00:17:03.160 Coming pretty girl, 1986, take it.

00:17:08.060 These folks you hear are walking categories as part of balls recorded in the 1990 documentary Paris is Birding.

00:17:15.920 In case you didn't know, this film opened the door for mainstream audiences to understand ballroom culture. 0.95

00:17:24.420 Lailene walked categories like realness, face, and body. 0.51

00:17:29.640 And she would win. 0.95

00:17:33.280 Melania said she always played it cool and confident, though. 0.85

00:17:37.160 She never acted surprised when she took home the trophy.

00:17:40.960 To put it plainly, Lailene was that girl.

00:17:45.920 Layleen was a part of the House of Extravaganza, the premier Latinx house in the scene.

00:17:59.200 You're listening to a clip from the 2006 documentary, How Do I Look?

00:18:04.140 Extravaganza has become one of New York's most famous houses

00:18:13.200 and one of the longest running.

00:18:18.660 The House of Extravaganza was founded in 1982.

00:18:22.240 This is Sydney Ballou.

00:18:23.920 My pronouns are he, him, his, and girl.

00:18:27.960 I always like to add that extra one.

00:18:30.900 I'm a writer, TV writer, producer, a journalist.

00:18:35.880 I've been in the House of Extravaganza for, oh my goodness, now four years.

00:18:40.840 And I've been in the ballroom scene for 11.

00:18:43.020 Sydney is also the author of the forthcoming book, Undeniable,

00:18:47.720 a history of voguing ballroom and how it changed my life and the world.

00:18:54.580 In those early days, it was actually very hard for the House of Extravaganza.

00:18:58.620 There was a kind of protective sense, you know, that people had over the scene.

00:19:04.540 They felt very threatened.

00:19:06.860 Yes, it was a heavily Latin house, but it was also very much like kids living on the pier, you know, people who were homeless. 0.91

00:19:16.160 People were doing survival sex work.

00:19:18.320 Some people didn't have as much money as the other houses.

00:19:22.060 They had to really, really keep coming and keep turning it in order for people to finally accept them.

00:19:28.020 And then once they did, it was, you know, the rest was history.

00:19:30.760 I mean, the house just really started to take off.

00:19:34.220 By the time Lailene joined the house as a teenager, it was fully on the map.

00:19:39.300 It had been featured in Paris is Burning and its members choreographed and danced in Madonna's 1990 hit single Vogue.

00:19:48.760 Vogue was a seminal moment when Ballroom broke into the mainstream, but it wouldn't be the

00:20:01.500 last. This song and the members of Extravaganza helped set the stage for Ballroom to make huge

00:20:10.060 waves in pop culture, from music to language to TV. But ballroom isn't all about the balls. 0.68

00:20:20.440 In the aughts, when Lailene joined the House of Extravaganza, it was a centerpiece in the queer 1.00

00:20:25.920 and trans community in New York. She became a beacon for many trans women and girls around her.

00:20:33.480 Now that's a legacy, honey.

00:20:40.060 In my mind, I am in the same house as Giselle Alicia Extravaganza, the mother of Extravaganza.

00:20:51.480 Like, I'm in the same house as Lailene Extravaganza.

00:20:56.040 That's India Moore.

00:20:57.240 Like, sharing this proximity to them made me feel great, made me feel valuable.

00:21:04.820 She's an actor and model well known for her role as Angel Evangelista in Pose, the FX series about ballroom culture in the 80s and 90s.

00:21:16.380 In compliance with the SAG-AFTRA strike at the time of our interview, India and I didn't discuss Pose.

00:21:23.580 But we spoke about her personal experiences in New York's ballroom scene.

00:21:28.480 Experiences that mirror her character's journey in many ways.

00:21:32.680 I was surviving a young trans person just trying to stay safe, have a home and money in my pocket.

00:21:41.120 I didn't feel welcomed in many environments that should have been home for me or like that should have been school for me.

00:21:49.060 So like I ended up sort of surviving on the streets.

00:21:52.300 I took a lot of risks to survive, you know, to have money in my pocket to be able to support myself.

00:21:58.240 india's character on pose joined the fictional house of evangelista because she desperately

00:22:06.680 needed a chosen family housing and support while she was doing sex work and in real life india 0.51

00:22:14.580 joined the house of extravaganza as a way to connect with new york's queer community

00:22:19.600 and to be around people like layleen when i think about layleen i think about her as somebody that

00:22:26.320 brought people joy. I see Lailene also as somebody who was really proud of

00:22:31.800 being trans and loved other trans people as well.

00:22:38.600 They never developed their own personal relationship, but India always admired her.

00:22:45.060 When you're a kid, there's always like some people that you sort of look to

00:22:48.120 in your understanding of what's beautiful. You sort of like aspire to like be like them.

00:22:54.500 And Lailene was one of those girls.

00:22:57.820 She was Dominican and I'm Dominican. 0.58

00:23:01.240 And she just reminded me of like my culture. 0.79

00:23:04.240 And she didn't have just charm. 1.00

00:23:06.340 She had sex appeal.

00:23:08.020 Lailene was one of the women that was sort of a reflection for what it looked like for me to like grow into a confident and beautiful and secure woman.

00:23:19.060 Layleen, India, and Sydney were all members of the House of Extravaganza at different points

00:23:29.860 in its history. Whether or not they knew each other personally, they share a bond because

00:23:35.620 they've shared a family. The House of Extravaganza is one of the few houses and ballroom that's still

00:23:41.420 a family. We literally have a cookout every summer. Grandma Coco, who's one of our OG members,

00:23:50.700 she cooks all the food and there's fried chicken and beans and rice and mac and cheese and potato

00:23:54.900 salad and all of that. It's truly like a co-generational space. There's so many people

00:24:00.520 who I know I can call upon or who have my back or who can just teach me about life. I know Layleen

00:24:07.260 was part of that mix.

00:24:08.720 And there was a sense of her

00:24:10.300 really being part of the family in that way.

00:24:15.580 The House of Extravaganza

00:24:17.840 and other ballroom communities

00:24:19.460 have always been vital spaces.

00:24:23.160 A way for Black and Brown LGBTQ plus folks

00:24:26.380 to survive and thrive. 1.00

00:24:29.720 Still, so many trans women of color like Lailene 1.00

00:24:33.140 lack the support systems they deserve 1.00

00:24:35.600 to live long and fulfilling lives. 1.00

00:24:38.420 And they, like all trans people,

00:24:41.140 experience disproportionately high rates

00:24:43.520 of unemployment, incarceration, and violence.

00:24:48.060 Ballroom has always been a form of resistance

00:24:50.840 to these realities.

00:24:53.040 Just because people say slay or no shade

00:24:56.900 doesn't make the world safer for us.

00:24:59.260 I do find that a large part of the culture of ballroom

00:25:04.940 has become so mainstream to the point where the people who now participate in using our language

00:25:11.000 also have become some of the people who reject and defame trans and queer culture and people.

00:25:21.900 But this doesn't take away from the fact that these spaces and this community are meaningful.

00:25:28.120 Layleen was an extravaganza for pivotal years of her life.

00:25:31.940 It meant a lot to her, and she followed a long-standing tradition of adopting the house's name as her own.

00:25:40.800 Lailene Extravaganza Kubalette Polanco.

00:25:46.640 Queer culture is more consumable than ever, but we, queer people, and specifically trans women of color, remain at risk. 0.58

00:25:56.760 Lailene was at risk.

00:25:58.640 As she entered adulthood, she was turned away from job opportunities.

00:26:03.440 She struggled with her mental and physical health.

00:26:07.360 She turned to sex work as a way to support herself.

00:26:11.320 And it would be a sex work arrest that would ultimately lead her to the place she would lose her life, Rikers Island.

00:26:22.680 That's coming after the break.

00:26:28.000 We'll be right back.

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00:27:24.840 are equally important to your personality,

00:27:27.260 welcome home.

00:27:28.780 This is Prose Society, the weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for thought daughters,

00:27:35.200 pop culture obsessives, and anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse.

00:27:41.240 I'm Eli Rallo, and every week we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and the conversations everyone can't stop having.

00:27:48.360 I'm going to have to look up this story. I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

00:27:51.600 From bestselling authors and your favorite book talk creators to the latest pop culture moments, nothing is off the table.

00:27:58.000 It's like if you can hide some real messages inside compelling characters, then that is a Trojan horse.

00:28:05.820 Whether you're looking for literary deep dives, smart pop culture conversations, or a community of readers who love to think a little too much, you're in the right place.

00:28:14.980 Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:28:21.000 See you between the pages.

00:28:24.020 Welcome back to Afterlives.

00:28:26.940 In Layleen's mid-twenties, her vibrant life took a turn.

00:28:33.240 She struggled to find and keep consistent work, spent less and less time with her family, 0.98

00:28:39.480 and decided to engage in sex work to make ends meet.

00:28:44.220 One day in August of 2017, Layleen was arrested by undercover NYPD officers who were targeting sex workers.

00:28:54.340 The city claimed around this time that arrests like these would end,

00:28:58.660 a small victory in the long battle to decriminalize consensual sex work.

00:29:03.920 But the arrest happened anyway. 1.00

00:29:07.860 Eventually, Lailene ended up in front of a judge, 1.00

00:29:11.420 and a bill of $500 was set on her sex work case. 1.00

00:29:16.020 That's despite the fact that in the months before Lailene's day in court, 0.99

00:29:20.200 district attorneys had made promises about eradicating Bell for low-level crimes. 1.00

00:29:27.060 The city even had an alternative system in place to handle sex work cases

00:29:32.040 so that sex workers could avoid jail time.

00:29:36.560 We'll get into why and how later in this series. 0.99

00:29:40.720 But the decision to set Bell on Lailene's case would crucially impact her life. 0.82

00:29:47.840 Unfortunately, she couldn't afford to pay 0.97

00:29:50.580 and was sent to Rikers Island.

00:29:59.120 Rikers is an isolated island in a city of 8 million.

00:30:04.280 The jail complex rests on over 400 acres of land

00:30:07.860 in New York City's East River.

00:30:11.120 The average jail population is 6,000 people on any given day.

00:30:17.180 Its buildings are old and dilapidated.

00:30:20.520 Extreme temperatures are a norm, as is moldy food and feces smeared on the floors.

00:30:27.580 Pieces of stray piping and broken light fixtures that line the hallways are often used to create weapons.

00:30:36.000 Policymakers have called the conditions at Rikers Island a humanitarian crisis.

00:30:41.160 Once Layleen was there, her troubles only got worse

00:30:47.280 Her mental health deteriorated 0.99

00:30:49.540 She got into several fights

00:30:51.500 And was moved into solitary confinement

00:30:54.540 Jail officials were made aware of a key detail about Layleen's health

00:30:59.280 That she suffered from a seizure disorder

00:31:02.860 And this alone should have kept her out of solitary

00:31:06.840 Still, that's exactly where she ended up 0.98

00:31:11.400 Lailene was in Rikers custody for 52 days before her death. 0.97

00:31:16.960 Nine of those days were spent in solitary confinement.

00:31:20.260 And I remember the girls and I spoke about it.

00:31:22.560 Her sister Melania didn't even know she was at Rikers.

00:31:26.840 Never mind being in solitary.

00:31:30.040 And they're like, we miss her and we just don't feel right.

00:31:33.500 And I'm like, I don't feel right either.

00:31:35.680 I thought I was the only one.

00:31:37.200 You guys feel the same thing?

00:31:38.260 And my daughter's like, yeah, something is not right.

00:31:41.520 On June 7th, 2019, while locked away in a solitary confinement cell,

00:31:47.360 Lailene had a fatal seizure.

00:31:51.060 Officers were supposed to check on people in this unit every 15 minutes,

00:31:55.980 according to jail protocol.

00:31:57.820 But large periods of time would pass without anyone checking on her.

00:32:03.860 When there were signs something was wrong, no one took action.

00:32:08.260 Staff gathered outside her door, staring into it, but no one went inside.

00:32:15.040 At one point, they left her unattended for 41 minutes.

00:32:20.640 41 minutes completely alone, despite being at high risk.

00:32:26.260 41 minutes with no checks for signs of life.

00:32:31.360 At approximately 3.45, after medics were finally called to enter her cell,

00:32:38.260 She was declared dead.

00:32:42.120 Why did no one help her?

00:32:45.420 Why was she even in Rikers, really?

00:32:49.240 Why did system after system fail to fulfill promises of progress?

00:32:55.700 I've been thinking about Layleen's case ever since I got that text from a friend with the New York Post article.

00:33:03.320 It was just hours after she died.

00:33:07.080 Within a few days, I was speaking at a rally in Lailene's honor.

00:33:11.960 With the mic in my hand, my sadness and fatigue turned into anger.

00:33:18.920 Lailene deserved to be alive.

00:33:22.580 She deserved more. 1.00

00:33:24.080 Black and brown trans people have been in the war since we were born.

00:33:27.580 Over 600 of us grieved together at that rally in the middle of Pride Month 2019.

00:33:37.580 It was the 50th anniversary of the Stonewall Riots, the seminal queer militant uprising that sparked the modern fight for LGBTQ plus liberation.

00:33:49.540 Millions of visitors were flocking to New York City for world pride.

00:33:53.400 Our community was more visible than ever.

00:33:57.180 And yet, here was another one of our sisters taken from us.

00:34:02.560 Holding all of this has always been hard.

00:34:06.420 These competing truths can feel like alternate realities.

00:34:10.660 I wanted to address that feeling more directly.

00:34:14.280 So I created the Trans Obituaries Project.

00:34:18.200 Back in 2019, I was the executive editor of Out Magazine.

00:34:22.520 and wanted Lailene's story and the stories of other trans women lost that year

00:34:28.360 elevated in the annual Out 100 issue.

00:34:32.260 It's the magazine's best-known feature,

00:34:34.840 honoring the year's most influential LGBTQ plus people.

00:34:39.220 I remember then we did this photo shoot for the cover.

00:34:42.560 Here's Melania, Lailene's sister, again.

00:34:45.380 It was very, it was beautiful.

00:34:47.820 It was actually Lailene's birthday.

00:34:49.720 Yes.

00:34:51.020 Lailene's friends and family gathered at her mom's house in Yonkers, where Lailene grew up.

00:34:56.900 We had her urn with her ashes in it.

00:34:59.520 We bought her a cake and we celebrated her.

00:35:03.960 At one point during the cover shoot, Lailene and Melania's mother, Araceli's,

00:35:09.200 opened up a suitcase filled with Lailene's belongings.

00:35:12.840 Everyone combed through trinkets, toiletries, and old t-shirts.

00:35:16.780 Everything you could name was in that, like, luggage.

00:35:20.020 And we were shocked. I remember we was all, like, digging, and I was like, oh, I want this, I want this.

00:35:24.960 And I ended up taking, like, her New York shirt.

00:35:28.200 I have it, like, in a bag upstairs because I want to keep, like, her scent and everything.

00:35:32.500 I'll, like, open it a little bit just to smell it, and I close it back up so I don't lose the scent.

00:35:37.620 I'll never forget that day, seeing the love that Lailene left behind and feeling her spirit surrounding us. 0.91

00:35:50.020 After the magazine came out, I watched Melania grow as an outspoken activist on behalf of her sister.

00:35:57.520 She shared Lailene's story with larger and larger audiences, even at one rally packed with 15,000 people.

00:36:07.540 I listened as politicians talked about her sister's memory and witnessed laws passed in Lailene's name.

00:36:14.800 Over the last four years, Lailene's story has unfolded in ways I could have never imagined.

00:36:25.500 But as much as death has the power to build movements, it also shatters.

00:36:30.660 in the immediate aftermath of Lailene's passing

00:36:42.720 family, friends and community organizers

00:36:45.900 formed a united front

00:36:48.200 but over the years

00:36:49.800 the loss of Lailene has sunk in more fully

00:36:52.940 after she died

00:36:54.460 I picked up the mic three days later

00:36:56.520 and I just didn't stop 0.78

00:36:58.340 Melania and others have had to

00:37:00.560 reshaped their lives without her. I never had time to grieve my sister. Time has passed,

00:37:07.960 but not without forming scars. I think that's when reality really kicked in,

00:37:13.580 that Lailene wasn't going to come back home. Lailene's family has moved out of New York

00:37:19.700 since that photo shoot. This time around, I visited Melania in Connecticut. We needed to

00:37:25.720 get away. We needed to get far. I met many of Lailene's family members and friends back in 2019.

00:37:33.040 But since then, people have removed themselves further from the public eye, farther from New

00:37:39.500 York. There have been rifts in their relationships. Folks have experienced other losses too. While we

00:37:46.860 reached out to several members of Lailene's Origin and Chosen Families for this podcast,

00:37:52.200 we weren't able to speak with everyone.

00:37:55.440 Lailene's story is harder for many to revisit today,

00:37:59.380 but I always knew it was worth returning to.

00:38:04.800 Much of my career has been fueled by the losses of people in my life

00:38:09.660 and those I didn't know whose stories drew me in,

00:38:13.340 whether it was trans teens lost to suicide,

00:38:17.580 victims of police brutality,

00:38:19.340 and, of course, other trans sisters of color.

00:38:24.240 Lailene's life and story will forever be a part of me.

00:38:29.340 Her death has stayed with me in part

00:38:31.660 because so many issues compounded to lead her to that cell.

00:38:36.440 Because her death happened in state custody,

00:38:39.480 I had hope for accountability.

00:38:41.920 There were and are leaders and systems that we could blame,

00:38:45.720 that we could even try to change.

00:38:47.980 some things have changed for the better in the last four years

00:38:55.960 but we've also witnessed the U.S. become a much more hostile place for trans people

00:39:02.060 what happened to Layleen tells us a lot about our world about trans rights and the injustices

00:39:11.280 of our legal system,

00:39:13.280 about how we treat people

00:39:15.120 who are most marginalized

00:39:16.460 and most in need of support.

00:39:20.460 She died because of systems

00:39:22.460 that still exist today.

00:39:25.000 And while progress has been made in her name,

00:39:28.280 there's a lot more work to do.

00:39:30.900 That's what this series is about.

00:39:35.300 There are no real spoilers in this story.

00:39:38.720 If you Google Lailene's name,

00:39:41.280 you'll find these details.

00:39:43.540 What we're doing in this podcast is breaking it down,

00:39:48.020 system by system,

00:39:50.020 and looking closer at the reason she died.

00:39:53.760 We want to restore her humanity as we tell this story.

00:39:58.560 And look at the ways this loss and legacy has affected our world,

00:40:03.820 even if you've never heard her name.

00:40:07.020 That's all coming this season on Afterlives

00:40:12.300 Stepping foot on Rikers Island has been widely acknowledged

00:40:17.020 A potential death sentence

00:40:18.560 Was her transness actually a cause of her death? 1.00

00:40:23.040 We found out that the answer was yes, it absolutely was 1.00

00:40:26.720 I had every opportunity to be dead

00:40:30.700 And I'm still here 0.99

00:40:32.500 they have an interest in stopping youth from becoming trans adults they have an interest 1.00

00:40:41.260 in essence in eradicating transness we just want to live our lives we don't want to be 0.95

00:40:46.260 sitting here over explaining ourselves to you over and over again just let me be i want to work 0.99

00:40:52.260 i want to have a home i want to drive a car i want to be happy too

00:40:55.820 thank you so much for listening to afterlives you can find this episode and future ones on the

00:41:08.540 iheart radio app apple podcast or wherever you get your podcasts please leave us a rating and

00:41:16.260 review to let us know what you think afterlives is a production of iheart podcast and the outspoken

00:41:23.860 Podcast Network in partnership with School of Humans.

00:41:28.300 I'm your host and creator, Raquel Willis.

00:41:32.100 Dylan Hoyer is our senior producer and script writer.

00:41:36.400 Our associate producer is Joey Patt.

00:41:40.060 Sound design and engineering by Daisy Makes Radio Productions.

00:41:44.860 Story editing by Aaron Edwards and Julia Furlan.

00:41:49.580 Fact checking by Savannah Hugley.

00:41:52.340 Our show art is by Mekhi Baldwin.

00:41:55.140 Score composed by Wazzy Murray.

00:41:57.740 Our production manager is Daisy Church.

00:42:01.720 Executive producers include me, Raquel Willis,

00:42:05.160 and Jay Brunson from the Outspoken Podcast Network,

00:42:09.400 Michael Alderjune and Noel Brown from iHeart Podcast,

00:42:13.720 Virginia Prescott, Brandon Barr, and Elsie Crowley from School of Humans,

00:42:18.800 and The Cats Company.

00:42:22.340 School of Humans

00:42:25.480 I survived nine months in captivity

00:42:30.460 and I've spent my life exploring how other people survive

00:42:34.200 what should have destroyed them.

00:42:36.300 I'm Elizabeth Smart and these are The Survivor Files.

00:42:39.880 Every week I'm with survivors who live through the unthinkable

00:42:43.300 abducted, stalked, controlled, and nearly silenced.

00:42:47.220 These are stories about what it takes to make it out alive.

00:42:50.800 Listen to The Survivor Files with Elizabeth Smart on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:42:59.180 If your bookshelf and your For You page are equally important to your personality, welcome home.

00:43:04.960 Pro Society is a weekly podcast that's part book club, part group chat for anyone who thinks Pride and Prejudice and Love Island deserve the same level of discourse.

00:43:13.260 Each week, we're connecting the dots between books, the internet, and pop culture

00:43:16.740 with your favorite writers, book talk creators, and plenty of overthought opinions.

00:43:21.500 Yeah, I'm obsessed. I'm obsessed.

00:43:23.300 Listen to Pro Society on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:43:29.260 I'm Nick Turturro.

00:43:30.140 You probably know me from NYPD Blue, The Longest Yard, or Spike Lee's Black Klansman.

00:43:35.240 And on my new podcast, Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, I deliver pizza to a new guest.

00:43:40.140 I've shared a slice with everyone, from Seth Rollins.

00:43:42.960 What are you doing with my belt?

00:43:44.200 To Bill Burr.

00:43:45.100 I don't think I've ever met somebody so exactly out of their mind as I am.

00:43:50.200 And now, we even have more great guests coming up, including the great John Turturro.

00:43:54.860 It's called happiness.

00:43:55.920 Delivering happiness.

00:43:57.000 And many, many more.

00:43:58.460 Open your free iHeartRadio app, search Delivering Happiness with Nick Turturro, and listen now.

00:44:03.900 This is an iHeart Podcast.

00:44:06.420 Guaranteed human.

There Are No Girls on the Internet - December 22, 2023

WHAT WE'RE LISTENING TO — Afterlives： The Layleen Polanco Story

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