Under the Influence (with Jo Piazza) - April 22, 2025


Lessons from Spring Break： Trashtasic Vegas With Kids, Zion, and a Baby Who Hates Shoes

Topics
Gabby's Dollhouse packing
Is Megan Markle a #TradWife？ Will Your Kid Have to be a Brand to Survive？

Episode Stats


Length

39 minutes

Words per minute

196.96

Word count

7,854

Sentence count

556

Harmful content

Misogyny

34

sentences flagged

Toxicity

23

sentences flagged

Hate speech

15

sentences flagged


Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
00:00:00.000 I didn't like what you said, Odin pauses, about the future.
00:00:05.900 This is the love story of real hinge couple Odin and Edward,
00:00:09.900 written and read by me, Curtis Garner.
00:00:12.640 Listen to the free audiobook now.
00:00:22.440 Joe here, and you are listening to Under the Influence.
00:00:26.280 We just got back from spring break.
00:00:28.620 Ten days with our kids, two national parks, 24 hours in Las Vegas, and I learned a lot of lessons.
00:00:36.900 To talk about them, I am bringing on none other than my husband, the one, the only, Nick Astor.
00:00:43.680 Hi, Nick.
00:00:44.840 Hello.
00:00:45.880 Thanks for letting me sleep in this morning.
00:00:47.820 Well, my pleasure.
00:00:49.800 So, we just got back from our spring break trip, and I think we learned a lot.
00:00:55.120 I will say, though, I think that the trip was 80 percent awesome, which is a very good percentage when it comes to traveling with children.
00:01:03.180 I'm going with 80 or 90 even. I mean, it was pretty darn good. The lows are short, if notable.
00:01:09.940 Well, I also got a text message from Casey, who was on the trip with us, who just said, I miss you guys. 0.96
00:01:16.120 And that was an amazing fucking spring break. So I think that's that's that's a good measure. 0.95
00:01:20.680 It's a measure of a good trip. But I will say, first of all, we are terrible packers and we completely overpacked for this trip.
00:01:28.960 I will take anyone's advice on how to pack better for a family vacation because how many bags did we have?
00:01:35.840 We had six bags, although in our defense, a couple of them were the little kids' bags.
00:01:40.780 So they weren't that big, but nonetheless excessive.
00:01:43.820 Well, and our kids roll their own bags most of the time, which is great, or at least the five-year-old and the seven-year-old do.
00:01:49.960 But yeah, we probably could have done with, I would say, half of what we packed, especially because we had an Airbnb.
00:01:58.720 So we had laundry for more than half the trip, which is not nothing.
00:02:03.620 OK, we we really we could have shut a lot of bags because it was a disaster when we got to Vegas after midnight and there was no bellhop and not even a luggage cart.
00:02:14.820 The Excalibur Hotel has no luggage cart to help you wheel all of your crap through a casino.
00:02:21.460 It's not just a normal hotel lobby.
00:02:22.740 You have to go through an entire casino.
00:02:24.380 And I had no idea how we were going to get all of our kids who are exhausted in our luggage up to the hotel room at one in the morning.
00:02:32.920 That's completely true.
00:02:34.260 And, you know, if you've ever been in one of these casinos, it's not just a trivial walk, like you said.
00:02:38.360 I mean, it's got to be a quarter of a mile.
00:02:40.760 And it's confusing and it's a maze and there's a good chance you make a wrong turn. 0.94
00:02:44.820 Nonetheless, you know, we did have a stroke of luck arriving, and some delightful ladies agreed to help us out. 0.99
00:02:52.480 Well, these were the angels of Las Vegas. 1.00
00:02:54.600 They were some definitely over-served ladies teetering in these heels, and they approached us because they saw that there was no way we were getting all of our children and our bags across the lobby. 1.00
00:03:05.860 They had these soap bubbles that they started blowing for the kids to delight and engage them. 0.97
00:03:10.680 And they were also each drinking like 40s of some kind of hard, hard seltzer, which is what the kids drink these days.
00:03:18.060 And they just both immediately picked up our bags and lugged them across the hotel lobby.
00:03:23.580 And not just to the elevator, but they came up to our room and down the long hallway.
00:03:28.420 And at this point, I was convinced someone was going to steal a kidney or something.
00:03:32.120 But they were just doing this out of out of the sheer goodness of their heart.
00:03:36.080 And, you know, not only did that please us, but I think they enjoyed that, too.
00:03:39.300 I think they probably, you know, patted themselves on the back and were like, hey, that was great.
00:03:43.200 I'm glad we helped that family out.
00:03:45.280 Maybe because they stole someone's kidney the night before.
00:03:47.100 But they were very, very sweet.
00:03:48.560 One of them said that she was a retired school bus driver and that she just wanted to be around kids.
00:03:53.540 And then they teetered off into the night like Vegas Angels.
00:03:57.480 And Charlie was so pleased by it.
00:03:59.840 He goes, well, that's what Vegas is all about.
00:04:02.040 Vegas is about people helping people.
00:04:04.940 I don't want to burst his bubble because I'm not sure that's what Vegas is all about.
00:04:08.040 But nonetheless, at that moment, it certainly was.
00:04:11.440 It was.
00:04:12.000 And although after 24 hours in Vegas, Charlie decided that Vegas was about something else entirely.
00:04:17.640 Vegas was a city filled with ads.
00:04:20.440 Ads and fake stuff was the exact quote.
00:04:23.280 Ads and fake stuff. 1.00
00:04:24.620 Mostly boobs. 0.98
00:04:25.560 Mostly fake boobs. 0.98
00:04:26.740 But I do think that 24 hours was the right amount of time for us to be in Las Vegas. 0.89
00:04:32.920 Where else could we have flown into to go to?
00:04:35.900 we the trip was to go to the national parks to go to zion and bryce so we could have flown into
00:04:41.340 salt lake city i guess we could have flown to salt lake city or technically there's an airport
00:04:45.340 in saint george which is a little complicated but vegas was convenient and direct so first lesson
00:04:51.880 learned do not overpack second lesson learned don't fly don't fly anywhere uh when you land
00:04:57.760 at midnight but definitely don't fly to vegas when you land at midnight and the final lesson
00:05:03.380 that 24 hours is definitely long enough to be in Vegas with kids.
00:05:08.020 It was delightful when they first woke up in the morning
00:05:10.260 and the city was empty because everyone had literally just gone to bed.
00:05:15.420 And we did find something positive and fun,
00:05:17.060 and we thought the kids would get a kick out of it, which they did.
00:05:19.320 And we had a scavenger hunt prepared, which was a lot of fun.
00:05:22.320 I printed out a sheet with a sphinx and a Chrysler building
00:05:28.640 and a variety of other things that, as we walked around, they had to find.
00:05:32.560 And and that was pretty cool. Vegas redeemed itself a bit with the bistro at Paris, which turned out to be well worth the the stop.
00:05:40.000 It did. And we took the kids out. Shaggy, it wasn't me, was playing at nine in the morning as we walked through the New York, New York casino and to the arcade where the kids loved the arcade and it was empty.
00:05:52.900 And the arcade employees started comping us games again, where Charlie was like, wow, see, everyone is really nice, mom.
00:05:59.020 And I was like, I think they're just bored, Charlie.
00:06:01.540 But an end the cafe at Paris Paris was awesome because it overlooks, this is a pro tip, it overlooks the Bellagio Fountain.
00:06:10.220 So if you can sit outside, which you can get a table outside if you decide to eat dinner at 345, which we did because we were done at that point.
00:06:19.320 So we split a bottle of rosé and the kids saw the Bellagio Fountain do its dancey dance thing three times before we finally trudged back through.
00:06:28.600 That's when the strip was getting crazy, though.
00:06:30.940 It was.
00:06:31.560 And, you know, it's a sign when you're holding your baby and people are handing you pornography.
00:06:39.980 Well, it wasn't.
00:06:41.120 I mean, it was kind of pornography.
00:06:42.500 I guess it was an invite to a strip club or something. 0.80
00:06:45.200 It was an invite to an all-nude show is what it was. 0.95
00:06:47.900 Because, you know, sometimes you look at a man carrying a baby and you're like, you know what that guy wants to do? 0.93
00:06:52.060 Go to an all-nude show.
00:06:53.840 I should have asked, hey, are kids okay?
00:06:56.020 Can I bring the baby?
00:06:57.020 Can I bring the baby to this all-nude show? 0.63
00:06:59.880 I was also walking through the casino with the baby and Charlie when a shirtless man came up to me. 0.84
00:07:07.400 He was part of the Thunder Down Under crew, which is an all-male strip show.
00:07:12.440 They compete with the Magic Mike strip show, apparently. 0.77
00:07:16.180 And he gave all of us Mardi Gras beads.
00:07:19.180 And then I asked him if he knew where we should get lunch, and he told me that the pool had some good chicken nuggets.
00:07:23.020 So, you know, everyone contains multitudes in Vegas.
00:07:27.020 It's true. You know, nonetheless, I think we were ready to get out after roughly 24 hours, roughly 24 hours. And the Excalibur, it was cheap, first of all, and kind of delightful for the kids to wake up in a castle. So they really liked that.
00:07:43.300 our other we had we had thought about going to circus circus but apparently that is just a smoke 0.96
00:07:47.840 filled shit show so i'm pretty i'm pretty glad that we chose not to do that but we were we were 0.56
00:07:55.220 ready to get out and we left the next day we headed out to the national parks and on the way 0.98
00:08:01.300 we stopped by the valley of fire uh it's a state park in vegas and a very the state parks that we
00:08:08.420 encountered were great it's an awesome reminder that first off i mean the national parks are so
00:08:14.740 important and and so wonderful it is shocking to me that our government does not want to fund them
00:08:19.860 because they were also packed oh yeah this is a thing that people love yeah but the state parks
00:08:25.660 are also so good valley of fire state park in vegas was awesome and then pink coral do coral
00:08:32.360 sand dunes coral sand dunes pink coral sand dunes you know the word pink is in there yeah in utah
00:08:37.940 Coral Pink is the correct phrasing.
00:08:40.320 But the Valley of Fire was where we had to lay down the law and lay down the ground rules for all five children as they hiked.
00:08:48.080 Yes.
00:08:48.500 Like I said, Casey and Steven, they also have a five-year-old and a seven-year-old.
00:08:52.120 And our kids are best, best friends.
00:08:55.000 Although they make new iterations of friends.
00:08:57.420 The older ones start hanging out with the younger ones on this trip.
00:09:00.020 It was nice.
00:09:01.280 Mixing up.
00:09:01.640 Yeah, there was some mixing.
00:09:02.720 But you lost two children.
00:09:05.180 Let's just be frank.
00:09:06.340 You lost two children.
00:09:07.940 in the Valley of Fire State Park.
00:09:08.940 Let's not point fingers.
00:09:10.020 But at the end of the day,
00:09:10.780 this brings us to one of our,
00:09:12.040 you know, second, third lesson,
00:09:13.760 wherever we are here.
00:09:16.140 And, you know, we got there
00:09:18.880 and in less than five minutes,
00:09:21.080 the older kids had disappeared.
00:09:23.160 And I knew vaguely where they were.
00:09:24.960 And I looked over a rise
00:09:26.860 and found them descending a slope
00:09:29.220 that was far too steep to safely descend.
00:09:31.880 And of course, there was scolding
00:09:34.000 on the part of both sets of parents.
00:09:37.180 And, you know, we had to say, guys, listen, you're here to have a good time.
00:09:41.140 You don't climb things that without a parent or an adult watching or seeing you.
00:09:46.440 And if you are going to go anywhere, you tell us and ask permission.
00:09:49.400 And that law had to be laid down.
00:09:51.240 And I'd like to think at least it started to sink in.
00:09:55.480 Yeah, I think laying ground rules down pretty quick when you have a very outdoorsy vacation or even anything.
00:10:01.760 And even if you're at a beach or at a pool, like you really you have to lay down the law right away or they'll walk all over you.
00:10:09.820 And one of the one of the good things is that we're comfortable enough with Casey and Stephen to also gently discipline their children, which I appreciate in friends generally. 0.98
00:10:21.020 If I'm hanging out with people and I hang out with their kids a lot, I want to be able to tell their kids that they're being being little assholes, frankly. 0.99
00:10:27.740 And I won't tell the kids they're being little assholes. 0.99
00:10:30.400 But we can imply that with different language. 0.99
00:10:32.360 Different language.
00:10:32.800 Different language.
00:10:33.380 And I really, in a friendship, I like the leeway to not worry if my friend is going to think that I overstepped with disciplining their child.
00:10:44.280 Yeah.
00:10:44.580 And I also think that it sometimes works better if it's coming from a different parent because the kids are sort of used to, you know, not having that.
00:10:52.960 And so when a different adult gives them a little bit of a talking to, it sometimes puts a bit more sense into them than us being a broken record.
00:11:01.720 No, totally.
00:11:02.320 Because our kids just laugh at us.
00:11:04.280 Our kids laugh in our face now when we try to discipline them.
00:11:07.760 So, yeah, I think having the newness of another parent is nice for them.
00:11:14.980 This also reminded me that it is very important to choose your traveling companions wisely, especially when it comes to the family dynamic, because it's way worse if traveling as a family sucks when you're a family than if you're just with that one friend who's awful.
00:11:30.800 I keep thinking about White Lotus and the trio of toxic friends, which Casey and I had a great conversation about while we were hiking.
00:11:38.300 We're like, you know, one speech at the end does not make up for the fact that I would have gotten rid of those toxic friends years ago.
00:11:46.060 However, I'll bet that trio is back together in a week.
00:11:49.020 No, of course they are.
00:11:50.040 They were back together at the end of the episode.
00:11:52.600 But they're all massive douchebags, and I would never be friends with people like that.
00:11:57.120 But I'm very happy that we are friends with people like Casey and Steven.
00:12:01.000 And I think we chose wisely because we have very similar travel styles.
00:12:06.680 And travel style is a real thing.
00:12:08.680 You can't ignore it.
00:12:09.620 Some people just like to lounge on vacation.
00:12:12.800 And Casey and Steven are similar to us in that they go, go, go almost to their detriment.
00:12:18.520 Like every day is action packed with something new.
00:12:21.540 And so that really worked to our benefit.
00:12:25.200 We were constantly planning, constantly doing things.
00:12:28.460 And then also, you know, they're game to have a good time.
00:12:30.900 So we had some good adult time.
00:12:32.540 But I want to talk a little bit more about that after we get back from a quick break.
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00:13:05.340 The audiobook's out now.
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00:13:12.920 Okay, we're back.
00:13:14.360 We're finally no longer in Las Vegas.
00:13:17.160 And even though Vegas does feel like a maze that you can't escape.
00:13:20.160 Do you remember when we were walking through the Mandalay Casino and we're like, have we reached the aquarium yet?
00:13:25.600 Are we really still in the same casino?
00:13:28.180 Well, everybody knows this, but it is literally designed that way on purpose.
00:13:31.400 You know, long walks, maze-like atmosphere, the moving sidewalks only go in, they don't go out.
00:13:37.420 I mean, it is very much intentional to keep you sitting in there at the slot machines.
00:13:42.580 The walk was so long that once we reached the aquarium, which was a really good aquarium, by the way, they had a Komodo dragon.
00:13:49.660 There were lots of sharks.
00:13:51.460 There was this one fish that only exists in one hot hole north of Las Vegas.
00:13:57.360 Oh, yes, the devil's hole pupfish.
00:13:58.820 Devil's hole pupfish.
00:13:59.640 Very cool fish.
00:14:00.560 which charlie charlie saw and was like oh my god there's a devil's hole pup fish and i'm like who
00:14:04.460 are you seven-year-old you and your you and your father share the same brain but we got there and
00:14:11.020 b was like i don't even want to go in i'm done she did and unfortunately you know that it's fine
00:14:16.660 save a buck on admission it was expensive i thought i thought that the aquarium in mandalay
00:14:23.160 was part of the casino one of those attractions too and it turns out to get you in there and a
00:14:28.320 A mile and a half down a corridor, and then, yes, it's cool, but definitely a proper admission, yeah.
00:14:34.900 Everything in Vegas is really expensive now.
00:14:36.680 I feel like Vegas was a lot cheaper when we were younger.
00:14:39.560 Back in my day.
00:14:40.660 Back in the old days.
00:14:41.700 Where do I even start?
00:14:42.680 When Burning Man first started.
00:14:44.020 $29.95 for the hotel.
00:14:46.200 Totally.
00:14:47.000 Yeah.
00:14:47.440 I paid $10 for a bag of Starburst after you took me back to the pool when you didn't go to the aquarium because I couldn't get Charlie and the baby to walk.
00:14:56.120 I tried to take an Uber back, even though in reality, it wasn't that far, but they wouldn't let me off that exit.
00:15:02.340 Yeah, it's a nightmare.
00:15:04.180 It's a nightmare.
00:15:05.300 Anyway, we left Vegas.
00:15:06.480 We headed to the national parks.
00:15:08.100 First, we went to Zion, where we stayed in an Airbnb right next to the park, a place called Zion Ponderosa.
00:15:15.040 Super cool place.
00:15:16.240 It's like one of those little, you know, clusters of houses and cabins and glamping and various other options with, you know, activities.
00:15:24.000 And you're right there next to the park.
00:15:25.440 you can roll in and roll out really cool spot yeah they had they had mini golf which the big
00:15:30.660 kids loved and a playground which everyone our kids still love a playground oh yeah and i think
00:15:35.680 we underestimate that sometimes there would be one of the nights when we ask them like what did
00:15:39.420 you like the most they're like that playground was great yeah so you know it's another one of
00:15:42.860 those tips because we get into the hiking which of course was wonderful for us but at the end of
00:15:46.600 the day you can't push it too hard you got to give them a little playground you know a little uh
00:15:51.460 It's a non-challenging activity to, you know, keep them sane, which keeps you sane.
00:15:56.680 Totally.
00:15:57.200 And I say this about travel all the time.
00:15:59.760 I genuinely believe that you can do one thing with kids a day.
00:16:02.960 One big thing and the rest of the day maybe needs to be a little more chill, a little more relaxed.
00:16:07.240 We did not do that on this trip.
00:16:08.720 We did a lot of things.
00:16:09.660 Yeah, we did about eight things a day.
00:16:10.820 We did about eight things a day.
00:16:12.160 We did.
00:16:12.720 It was, and maybe we packed it.
00:16:13.920 Could have cut it back to four or so.
00:16:15.420 We could have cut it back to four.
00:16:16.700 But the other awesome thing about traveling with friends and with friends whose kids love your kids is that I feel like we got a lot of grown-up time.
00:16:26.020 I don't feel like I was over-served children this trip.
00:16:29.760 And when we travel with our kids solo, I often feel like I've been over-served because they run off in a pack.
00:16:37.180 They play with each other.
00:16:38.380 And we had porch cocktails.
00:16:42.080 At one point, Stephen did a weird photo shoot with me in my raw milkmaid dress for Everyone is Lying to You.
00:16:48.840 Emerging from a pinion pine.
00:16:50.680 I was emerging from a pine.
00:16:51.860 I was barefoot and emerging from a pine as though I was being chased and about to be murdered.
00:16:56.300 Well, I thought you looked quite happy, like you were bursting forth into the world, like Eve from Adam's Rib.
00:17:02.800 Well, because I had just escaped from Adam.
00:17:04.860 Well, okay.
00:17:05.860 You know, who is trying to oppress me in a patriarchal system.
00:17:09.200 Well, needless to say, you demonstrated your freedom and looked good doing.
00:17:13.320 I did. I did demonstrate my freedom. But it was so much fun. I actually can't wait to share those pictures with everyone because we also took a great picture where it is just the raw milkmaid corset and boobs in the book, which I think should just be my new author photo, if Maya will allow it.
00:17:30.100 It's an option.
00:17:31.020 It's an option. It's an option. But I swear to God that this episode is not just going to be an advertisement for everyone is lying to you.
00:17:37.240 it's really an advertisement for national parks oh yeah yeah i mean i saw first off i saw so many
00:17:44.280 eagles fans which brought me a lot of joy a surprising number a surprising number of eagles
00:17:48.560 fans and you can see them because they only wear eagles gear all the time a few phillies fans in
00:17:53.000 there too sure yeah but it's not really peak philly season yet a lot of philadelphia just
00:17:57.120 point yeah but just a weekly reminder that the eagles won the super bowl this year so you know
00:18:01.680 And Charlie had his Eagles sweatshirt on, and he got the customary greeting of Go Birds.
00:18:07.700 He did.
00:18:08.560 On the trail many times.
00:18:10.220 I'm not sure he reciprocated.
00:18:11.620 He reciprocates.
00:18:12.140 He always reciprocates.
00:18:12.640 I think he noticed.
00:18:13.320 No, he reciprocates Go Birds.
00:18:14.660 He does.
00:18:15.040 He knows the religion of this city.
00:18:18.020 But we started in Zion, and it is just breathtaking.
00:18:22.780 Totally cool place.
00:18:23.480 It is such a good place for kids.
00:18:26.240 We did this one hike up to the Emerald Pools.
00:18:30.640 Emerald pools.
00:18:31.600 Yeah, that was one.
00:18:32.960 But you hike along a ridge where I was convinced the children were going to die the entire time because it's narrow and the cliffs are pretty high.
00:18:40.320 Yeah, it is.
00:18:41.720 That's scary.
00:18:42.520 It's pretty scary.
00:18:43.340 I think it's scary.
00:18:45.000 But like every time you turn another corner, there's another gorgeous view.
00:18:49.340 But I don't know how many times I said, get to the right, get to the right, hug the wall, hug the wall, which Bea took literally and she hugged the actual wall of the cliff.
00:18:58.700 They were okay.
00:18:59.820 You think they were okay?
00:19:00.660 I think they appreciated your concern, but they were okay.
00:19:03.260 Yeah.
00:19:03.620 No one else appreciates my concern.
00:19:05.540 But we do use a hiking backpack for the baby, which we use the Osprey, which I really like.
00:19:12.120 We've had it for all three kids, haven't we?
00:19:13.960 Yeah.
00:19:13.980 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:19:14.520 It's totally awesome and very necessary.
00:19:17.740 As enthusiastic as a two-year-old or younger can be, you just can't really hike with them because they can't keep going in the straight line and, you know. 0.99
00:19:27.000 Well, our two-year-old is also an asshole right now. 0.99
00:19:29.540 She's having a phase. 1.00
00:19:31.580 She's having a phase. 0.96
00:19:32.480 I think her brain is exploding in different ways in a really good way.
00:19:36.820 But she has opinions.
00:19:38.800 Oh, yeah. 1.00
00:19:39.520 She does not want to wear shoes. 1.00
00:19:41.800 Or she does want to wear shoes.
00:19:43.560 Depends on the moment.
00:19:45.000 Or she wants to wear a very specific pair of shoes.
00:19:47.360 Yes.
00:19:48.760 But on this trip, she really mostly didn't want to wear shoes, even in Las Vegas on the strip.
00:19:54.340 Oh, yeah. 1.00
00:19:54.680 We really had to grab her because I was worried she was going to get the clap or herpes or whatever, hepatitis, whatever, whatever is on those sidewalks in her feet. 1.00
00:20:03.840 And hiking, she didn't want to wear shoes either. 0.59
00:20:08.320 So, yeah, the backpack was necessary during the times when she actually, actually rode in it.
00:20:15.220 And there were other times when I had to carry her.
00:20:17.040 But my theory on hiking is that I want them to love it for life.
00:20:23.440 Yes.
00:20:23.840 So I maybe wimp out earlier than you do because I want to challenge them just enough that I can do hard things.
00:20:33.300 But I also want them to have a good day and to look back and be like, that was really great.
00:20:37.820 And I think that's wise.
00:20:38.980 And I wouldn't say wimping out.
00:20:40.060 Nobody wimped out.
00:20:40.940 We had a couple great days of hiking.
00:20:43.540 You know, the kids were in a pack.
00:20:45.060 They stuck together.
00:20:46.300 We pushed them along a little bit.
00:20:47.800 But, you know, we took our time and they rolled.
00:20:50.020 And then on the last day in Bryce, which, by the way, is also fantastic.
00:20:53.840 uh we got the temperature dropped and we got snowfall which was absolutely beautiful
00:20:58.380 um but you know a little chilly for the young kids because when the sun goes behind the cloud
00:21:05.260 and the wind blows you know 29 degrees is suddenly colder than you think it is and uh you know we
00:21:12.080 made the right call we had a short one mile and a half hike they started complaining and moaning
00:21:17.280 and you made the call hey let's get them some pizza and we and we didn't go out off the trail
00:21:21.740 and that was it yeah casey and steven took the girls out again but i i called it i i was like
00:21:26.760 today's a pizza day and that's fine totally totally totally good because the baby also
00:21:32.460 didn't want to be in the backpack for that bike and so i ended up carrying her i think my shoulder
00:21:36.440 is half dislocated at this point and i didn't just have to carry her but she wanted me to
00:21:41.300 sing this unicorn song to her over and over again which just goes nay nay i'm a unicorn nay
00:21:49.240 Nay.
00:21:49.900 And also the alphabet song.
00:21:51.580 Uh-huh.
00:21:52.140 Yeah.
00:21:52.740 Yeah.
00:21:53.060 She wanted the ABCs.
00:21:54.960 Oh, my other favorite story about the baby from this trip is she often sounds like me when I was a drunk 21-year-old.
00:22:03.140 Oh, yes.
00:22:03.940 Right.
00:22:04.380 I get the analogy.
00:22:05.540 Yeah.
00:22:05.880 I mean, we were-
00:22:06.820 Stumbling around.
00:22:07.540 Stumbling around, demanding things.
00:22:10.480 Changing your mind every 30 seconds.
00:22:12.280 Every 30 seconds. 0.98
00:22:12.880 And we did a Seder with the Weinbergs. 0.67
00:22:16.480 And Stephen was a great storyteller.
00:22:18.840 It was awesome.
00:22:19.880 But the baby was just like knocking into things and going, where's my keys?
00:22:26.380 Where's my keys?
00:22:27.620 I lost my keys. 1.00
00:22:29.200 Because she had put some plastic keys in a drawer somewhere and she was pissed that she lost her keys.
00:22:33.640 And then she's like, but where's my phone? 0.96
00:22:36.240 Yeah, she had a little flip mirror.
00:22:38.120 A flip mirror that is her cell phone.
00:22:39.940 I lost my keys and I lost my phone.
00:22:42.260 She talks on that phone.
00:22:43.320 She calls people. 1.00
00:22:44.860 She drunk dials people. 0.95
00:22:45.940 Oh, yeah.
00:22:46.240 Yeah, she might be calling Pete Hegseth, actually, to find out what's going on in Yemen. 1.00
00:22:51.920 So anyway, the baby was a hoot. 1.00
00:22:53.320 She was a lot.
00:22:53.940 I just, I am glad that we travel with her, but she is a lot to travel with right now.
00:23:00.200 I don't remember if the other two were this bad to travel with it, too.
00:23:03.700 Yeah, I think you have sort of, we filter our memories a little bit.
00:23:07.640 They had their moments.
00:23:08.820 They definitely had their moments, but I think you black them out because they're good, or they're much better travelers now. 0.64
00:23:13.920 They each have their own crap, but they're much better travelers now.
00:23:17.320 Okay, let's take one more break, and when we get back, I want to talk more about Bryce, 0.98
00:23:21.500 because I feel like it's a less appreciated national park than Zion, but it's really great.
00:23:27.920 Oh, yeah.
00:23:32.780 I don't think I can be your friend, Isabella said.
00:23:36.140 Rebecca's stomach flipped.
00:23:38.260 This is the love story of real hinge couple Isabella and Rebecca, written and read by me, Temi Denton-Hurst.
00:23:43.920 Listen to the free audiobook now.
00:23:52.640 Okay, we are back.
00:23:53.960 One other thing I want to talk about with the national parks.
00:23:56.620 I don't think that you can figure out logistics very well until you get there.
00:24:02.140 Because we all read things.
00:24:03.520 We did research.
00:24:04.680 We read the Wild Sam Guide to Zion, which was great.
00:24:07.860 I love the Wild Sam Guides.
00:24:10.080 But I don't think we realized just how much they're now using the shuttle system in the parks, because it's a little different from the way it used to be.
00:24:18.320 You go to the visitor center and you park your car and you take the shuttle and get off at the different stops.
00:24:24.320 And we had to in Zion, we had to get to the visitor center by 730 or the lot was full.
00:24:28.940 Yeah. So, you know, on the one hand, it's great that national parks have, you know, gained so much new popularity.
00:24:35.620 On the other side, it's a bit of a tragedy because it means things are just overcrowded and long gone are the days that you could just sort of show up and grab a campsite in most places, unfortunately.
00:24:48.000 But, you know, they've done some work to improve that, you know, logistics.
00:24:53.240 And one of them is the shuttle system, which actually turned out to be terrific.
00:24:56.100 Oh, I loved it.
00:24:56.500 You get in, you park your car, and then they got these buses that circulate to all the major points every 10 minutes or so, and it totally works.
00:25:05.380 But you have to get up really early. 0.85
00:25:06.900 In the case of Zion, you're right. 0.74
00:25:08.740 You have to get up early to go to the one particular place.
00:25:11.080 There was another option further down, but still, yeah, it was a little tight.
00:25:14.360 It was tight.
00:25:14.840 But we did it.
00:25:16.680 We rallied all of those children.
00:25:18.180 We got them up at 6.
00:25:19.620 We did.
00:25:20.180 We rallied.
00:25:20.740 It was dark.
00:25:21.600 It was dark.
00:25:22.240 It was.
00:25:23.140 And I think we did a good job grocery shopping, too.
00:25:26.380 We did a perfect job grocery shopping.
00:25:27.280 We did a big grocery haul.
00:25:28.640 We left with next to nothing.
00:25:29.740 And a big liquor store haul.
00:25:31.360 We did.
00:25:31.760 Of which I do feel like one adult was like, that's ambitious.
00:25:35.880 And we left with no booze.
00:25:37.740 Yeah.
00:25:38.420 And in fact, we had to go to the bar the last night because we were out of booze.
00:25:41.280 We did.
00:25:41.840 Yeah.
00:25:42.140 So I don't know what that says about us and how we parent.
00:25:44.160 But I think it says we're a really good time.
00:25:46.060 The kids probably drink some of it.
00:25:47.480 Just kidding.
00:25:48.580 Not yet.
00:25:49.300 Not yet.
00:25:49.920 I mean, there were some Modellos.
00:25:51.180 Those were essentially water beers.
00:25:53.140 But we, yeah, the shuttle system was great.
00:25:58.340 I got to say, I did not love where we stayed in Bryce.
00:26:01.140 Yeah, it was, you know, it was kind of, it was glorified Best Western, which was perfectly adequate.
00:26:10.220 Well, you don't, we stayed at Rupees, which is the only option unless you're staying in the park.
00:26:14.500 Yeah.
00:26:14.820 Because one family holds a monopoly.
00:26:16.980 Which is a bizarre story, but the bus driver will explain it to you if you ever go to Bryce.
00:26:21.780 All of the bus drivers, all of the shuttle drivers in Bryce make sure to note that this family has a monopoly with like undisguised ire.
00:26:30.020 Yeah.
00:26:30.520 Well, you know, it was just a combination of iron admiration.
00:26:34.120 I mean, it was a clever move.
00:26:35.120 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:26:35.460 It was a clever move.
00:26:36.040 1915 or whatever it was.
00:26:37.860 But you're kind of stuck with one hotel option, one restaurant option, buffet style.
00:26:44.220 Not a lot of restaurant options.
00:26:45.380 That's true.
00:26:46.000 No, no, not at all.
00:26:47.840 But the cabins inside Bryce were gorgeous if we could have gotten one.
00:26:51.760 Oh, yeah.
00:26:52.280 Like that is my other.
00:26:53.020 Classic National Park Lodge.
00:26:54.460 Beautiful.
00:26:55.020 Roaring fire.
00:26:55.860 Really cool.
00:26:56.720 But unfortunately sold out.
00:26:58.100 Well, the lesson learned there is we have to book these things further in advance.
00:27:01.260 You and I are very used to traveling, kind of flying by the seat of our pants and being like, we want to go here next week.
00:27:05.960 And you can't do that anymore.
00:27:07.600 It's true.
00:27:08.160 Especially with kids.
00:27:08.580 Especially not with three children.
00:27:11.340 And booking hotels with three children is insane.
00:27:15.060 Oh, well, you can't.
00:27:16.460 You can't.
00:27:16.860 You have to fib and say you only have two.
00:27:18.960 Yeah, you have to say that you only have two.
00:27:20.760 And then you sneak the third one in.
00:27:21.920 And that's not that the people would care.
00:27:23.360 It's just that the internet interface doesn't allow you to choose it.
00:27:27.080 Well, yeah, the hotel booking system, if you have five people, makes you book two rooms.
00:27:32.500 So you have to fib and say that you don't have the baby and then or you don't have one of the other kids because you need a pack and play.
00:27:37.920 Yeah.
00:27:38.740 And then sneak them in.
00:27:40.240 Although everybody was very cooperative with the pack and plays.
00:27:42.760 And I, you know, so I don't think anybody really cares if the fifth, the third kid is tiny.
00:27:47.280 Is a baby.
00:27:47.900 But, you know, the Internet, the machine cares.
00:27:50.280 The AI would not permit that.
00:27:52.100 No, it wouldn't.
00:27:52.920 But one of the best things, and I did not check this in advance, is that the pack and play fit in the bathroom everywhere that we stayed.
00:28:01.360 Yes, which is a huge bonus.
00:28:02.640 Huge bonus.
00:28:03.260 Huge bonus. 1.00
00:28:03.740 I am a massive fan of putting the baby in the bathroom to sleep because she also, she parties hard in her crib when we put her down. 0.98
00:28:10.420 Oh, yeah. 0.98
00:28:11.220 She sings. 0.97
00:28:12.640 Yeah.
00:28:12.920 Last night, she screamed for me many times, demanding a book, demanding a stack of Post-it notes. 0.87
00:28:19.600 which she then threw across the room and then demanded that i give to her well she wanted the 1.00
00:28:24.900 back and also she doesn't take off all of her clothes as much anymore thank god but she did 1.00
00:28:31.500 because you joined casey and steven on that hike when i took the kids for pizza and she took off
00:28:35.480 her pants yeah and it was 27 degrees in price yeah it was it was cold we were problematic we
00:28:42.800 weren't prepared for the massive fluctuation in temperature we were reasonably prepared we had
00:28:48.900 jackets. We didn't have hats. We didn't have hats. We didn't have hats. But it was one of those 29
00:28:52.680 degrees where bright sunshine, it's actually gorgeous. You really don't need much. The
00:28:57.540 trouble was when the sun went behind the cloud and the wind picked up. Then it got a bit unpleasant.
00:29:03.080 Well, despite the fact that we overpacked, we still didn't bring hats. That's true. Yeah. It
00:29:07.020 was kind of chilly. And we did stay in Vegas on the way home, but we didn't get there until late.
00:29:11.360 And we had a 6 a.m. flight, which wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I don't mind a 6 a.m.
00:29:15.060 flight i do mind getting in at midnight yeah 6 a.m flight is tolerable um yeah the midnight was
00:29:21.220 a terrible idea with the kids though yeah because our kids do all watch screens and i'm unapologetic
00:29:26.080 about giving them screens in both cars and on planes yeah because and occasionally at dinner
00:29:32.640 well if we're out just can't if we're out at restaurants if we're out at restaurants we would
00:29:37.480 never do at home no um but yeah if you're i don't do not mind giving them screens i feel
00:29:44.740 I feel fine about the bigger kids because they watch Maze.
00:29:48.520 Yeah.
00:29:48.940 Charlie watches mostly David Attenborough or like Prehistoric Planet.
00:29:53.080 Yeah.
00:29:53.220 And Bea now watches Star Wars.
00:29:56.480 Which is pretty funny, actually.
00:29:58.540 She said this afternoon, she looked at me and she said, laugh it up, fuzzball.
00:30:02.340 Yeah.
00:30:02.660 I mean, she watches literally back to back.
00:30:05.540 She starts with New Hope, goes to Jedi.
00:30:09.400 And then sometimes she will get into the Natalie Portman one.
00:30:13.720 Yeah.
00:30:13.940 She's also very, though, she's astute enough that without my provocation, she's well aware that the middle three are the Superior Triad or Trilogy.
00:30:24.960 Were the first three.
00:30:26.360 Which is the middle three in the chronology.
00:30:28.180 Right, right, right.
00:30:28.580 Yeah, of course.
00:30:29.340 Although she does seem to have an Adam Driver thing.
00:30:32.440 Oh, I didn't notice that.
00:30:34.060 Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:30:34.480 She's really into Adam Driver.
00:30:35.800 Okay. 0.85
00:30:36.140 Yeah, yeah.
00:30:37.060 But I don't mind them watching things like that. 0.78
00:30:39.340 But the baby pretty much only watches Gabby's Dollhouse, which I think is turning her brain into Glitter Slime.
00:30:46.160 Glitter Slime. 0.77
00:30:47.080 Glitter Slime.
00:30:47.800 Yeah. 0.95
00:30:48.080 I hate Gabby's Dollhouse.
00:30:48.920 You know, it's a major improvement over Cocomelon.
00:30:52.480 Yeah. 1.00
00:30:53.880 I don't mind Bluey. 0.82
00:30:55.800 Love Bluey. 0.69
00:30:56.660 I think Chili and Bandit Healer are just models for parenthood.
00:31:01.600 But, yeah, Gabby's Dollhouse.
00:31:03.500 Also, Gabby, are they still making new episodes?
00:31:06.400 Because Gabby's like 27 now in the episodes.
00:31:08.680 That's a good question. I have no idea, actually, because she just watches the same 10 episodes.
00:31:13.760 No, but she doesn't because Gabby is now like a grown ass woman in these episodes. 0.97
00:31:17.980 I admit to not paying that close attention. 0.97
00:31:21.320 I'm telling you, Gabby is a grown up now.
00:31:24.500 And so it's a little weird that she's going into an imaginary dollhouse with a hamster kitty.
00:31:29.900 Yeah. If she's truly 27. Sure.
00:31:31.920 And it's a little strange.
00:31:33.520 Well, you know, you know, you know, maybe.
00:31:37.260 Now in my head, I'm conflating Gabby with the angels in Vegas.
00:31:40.900 In my head, it was a drunk Gabby.
00:31:43.840 Very.
00:31:45.540 That's a challenge for me to see.
00:31:48.080 Anyway, overall, it was a great trip.
00:31:49.860 And I think it was one of our best trips yet.
00:31:52.020 And it was very long and very ambitious.
00:31:54.580 We covered a lot of ground.
00:31:56.560 On the way home, we did do sand surfing in the coral sand dunes.
00:32:00.560 Coral pink sand dunes.
00:32:01.400 Coral pink sand dunes.
00:32:01.820 Super cool.
00:32:02.560 And we found a dinosaur museum for Charlie in St. George, which was great.
00:32:07.240 It had an imprint of a Dilophosaurus butt.
00:32:11.040 Yes.
00:32:11.840 Yeah, which is exciting because we'd never seen a dinosaur butt imprint before.
00:32:17.240 And I think everyone, a good time was had by all.
00:32:20.260 I just really, really want us to get better at packing.
00:32:22.760 Yeah, definitely need to improve the packing.
00:32:25.320 I don't know, would you say that we would, and by the way, in terms of planning in advance,
00:32:30.020 there's one time when you can do it though and that's when you know the dates i mean we know
00:32:33.440 spring break for the next 10 years that's set in stone we could plan tomorrow we could plan
00:32:40.520 tomorrow we also we have to plan around book tours which is never easy but i guess we know
00:32:48.700 what comes out we don't know book tour dates for next year that's true yeah um i don't know i feel
00:32:54.020 like there's so many contingencies it's hard we plan we did plan this a good five months in advance
00:32:58.140 Yeah, it was a fair while.
00:32:59.100 And we still couldn't get those cabins.
00:33:01.300 So, yeah.
00:33:03.000 What did we say?
00:33:03.660 Did we tell Casey and Stephen we'd go to Morocco next year?
00:33:06.660 I don't think so.
00:33:07.760 But we did talk about a few ideas, and we can throw some out there.
00:33:11.300 You know, my big question for you to think about is do we want to go on a road trip where we roll around, or do we want to go one place and stick there?
00:33:20.920 Even though if that's slightly against our usual ways, it does have some advantages with kids.
00:33:25.940 It's true.
00:33:26.400 moving around with kids is very hard it almost makes me think that i would enjoy a cruise with
00:33:32.600 kids because you don't have to pack them up and move them around you'd have to twist my arm pretty
00:33:36.340 hard yeah but it would have to be like one of those i i would like to take them on a river cruise
00:33:39.620 but you're not allowed to take kids sadly they're they're only like you know 18 and up or i know i
00:33:45.240 would know i think you have to be 55 plus a lot some of them for sure except for that time that
00:33:49.700 i snuck glennis on the rhine river cruise when i was the editor of yahoo which she said was also
00:33:54.500 one of the best cruises she's ever one of the best trips she's ever been on i'd love to do that
00:33:57.800 i would i it's just those giant you know theme park cruises that turn me off i don't know some
00:34:03.560 people love a cruise because you're just in one place but you get to stop at different places
00:34:07.740 for like an hour no i think you get the whole day sometimes i've never been on one i shouldn't talk
00:34:12.980 i've only been on one and it was terrible but it was a top chef cruise and it was just like with
00:34:16.760 the worst of the top chef people guy fiari no no not even that it was like french fry it was like
00:34:22.660 spike or something i don't know just like this guy was a man there were two massive douchebags
00:34:26.600 on this boat uh and it went from new york to bermuda which i love but i don't i don't know
00:34:31.600 we one thing i'm really happy that we didn't do is we were going to get camper vans and camp and i
00:34:36.440 think that would have been too much for this trip i think i actually think the best thing yeah this
00:34:39.980 particular trip yeah i also don't even think it's hotel i think it's renting a house somewhere so
00:34:44.240 that you have separate we had everyone had a bedroom we could cook because i hate going to
00:34:49.380 restaurants with our kids i just i i hate it so much it's really not fun no it's really really
00:34:54.280 terrible and also so expensive now we spent so much money yeah on like food that we had one
00:34:59.920 grocery run for like five days right and then probably spent the same amount of money on two
00:35:04.800 days not even no like maybe two meals out for yeah uh and i like to be able to make breakfast
00:35:11.160 and pack snacks for the day so i think airbnb in a location where it's kind of like the hub in
00:35:19.320 wheel like the inside of a wheel where you can go to a bunch of things from it yeah yeah yeah
00:35:26.280 exactly yeah i don't and so we're taking recommendations we will take all of your
00:35:29.500 travel recommendations yeah uh we're also i'm also going to do a sub stack on the things that i like
00:35:34.360 like our our kid backpack yes the osprey the osprey i mean that osprey the baby has almost
00:35:41.160 outgrown it but it holds up so well i think we're going to pass it down to someone else in the
00:35:45.540 caskills and it will live it will live in the valley for the next 25 years uh and be great
00:35:50.540 uh i the other thing i liked is casey and steven had that platypus water bottle
00:35:53.860 that collapsed after you finished drinking it yeah that's cool yeah i liked that yeah um yeah
00:36:00.420 that's it i think that's all i got but i anyway i enjoyed going on spring break with you well i
00:36:03.800 enjoyed it too and the children it was really it was really nice i do think this was one of our
00:36:07.680 best trips yet like i think so right two thumbs up man two thumbs up two and again it's insane to
00:36:15.320 me that we don't just throw money at national parks because it again so many people were
00:36:20.980 enjoying it so many people were so happy to be there and all different kinds of people all
00:36:25.440 different ages it definitely spanned socioeconomics yeah a lot of foreign people too a lot of people
00:36:32.100 from different countries this is just a thing that it doesn't make sense that we're not supporting
00:36:36.860 and if jeff bezos can send katie perry to outer space then why couldn't he just bankroll the
00:36:42.160 national parks for the next hundred years don't get me started i know although i will say we
00:36:47.800 avoided the news pretty much while we were there we all read it but like we didn't talk about it a 0.89
00:36:52.320 lot we tried not to get mired in the shit of it while we were gone i let's pat ourselves on the 0.66
00:36:57.280 back we barely talked about it we barely talked about it yeah i mean we're back and now we can't
00:37:01.780 not talk about it but i have no interest in it it's just i mean i would i would like to check
00:37:07.940 out of it every single day yeah every single all right thank you for being here with us we want all
00:37:12.640 of your travel tips so send me a bunch of travel tips and i'll make a sub stock out of it maybe 0.88
00:37:16.180 we'll do another episode on it because i think we hear a lot about shitting all over vacations with
00:37:24.280 kids and like how much work it is and it is and we should say that but there's also a lot of joy in
00:37:28.900 it that i want to recognize there's a lot of joy in it there's a lot of joy a lot of joy and i think
00:37:34.280 our kids this time appreciated it too like they keep bringing things up now for the past like 24
00:37:40.580 hours that we've been home which by the way is like a sign of success when they tell me
00:37:46.120 they remember what a pinyon pine is versus a utah juniper boom boom boom oh well the other nice the
00:37:52.220 other nice thing about traveling with friends is that we got breaks like you and steven took the
00:37:58.420 kids and then casey and i went horseback riding and went in a slot canyon which was really cool
00:38:01.800 totally uh and so yeah more of a team effort it's more of a team effort one-on-one it's not
00:38:06.640 well and with us it's not even when we're out we're outmanned at this point yeah um so yeah
00:38:13.080 it was good oh and we we listened to the and juliet soundtrack about 50 times in the car
00:38:17.960 great soundtrack really great show on tour right now it is on tour it is i mean love love and juliet
00:38:24.980 so this is not just an advertisement for national parks also and juliet it's i mean if you are a
00:38:30.700 90s teen like me. Nick Astor
00:38:33.060 is not a 90s teen. He was a 90s 20
00:38:34.820 something. He is pure
00:38:36.520 like Ethan Hawke in Reality Bites
00:38:39.040 but if you are
00:38:40.780 if you love the Backstreet Boys as much as I do, go see
00:38:42.860 Ann Juliette. It is wonderful. Okay.
00:38:44.800 We're wrapping this up because it is late 0.93
00:38:46.740 and we gotta get those kids to bed and that baby's
00:38:48.820 gonna start singing soon. Rock and roll. 0.91
00:39:00.700 We'll see you next time.
00:39:30.700 you matched on hinge you're vibing then her energy completely changes what do you do
00:39:45.340 i'm raven smith and i wrote and read a real love story about this exact
00:39:49.840 sitch listen to the free audiobook now