00:00:00.000Hello. Joe here. You're listening to Sunday Nice Things with Under the Influence.
00:00:14.280I'm feeling pretty good this Sunday. I had a great night's sleep last night. I have been
00:00:20.040staying away from the news as much as one can possibly stay away from the news this
00:00:25.480weekend, and I just, I feel, I got a lot done. I got a lot done. Last week, I wrote a sub stack
00:00:35.940on the Over the Influence sub stack called What Do We Do With All of This Rage? And I wrote it
00:00:42.600when I woke up in the middle of the night and raged because I am waking up in the middle of
00:00:47.540the night filled with rage right now. I'm also waking up in the morning filled with rage. And
00:00:51.820it's something I haven't felt in a really long time. It's exhausting. It's breaking my brain
00:01:02.040on a regular basis. And a lot of you really responded to this newsletter. I think I wrote
00:01:12.000it just for myself, right? To just put the rage out there. And that's what so many of you said.
00:01:19.280so many of you responded and just said, same, same, same, same. I feel this deeply. So much
00:01:26.200rage. I'm so mad right now. And I'm bringing this up just to say, I think we're all in this
00:01:35.420together. I think we're all feeling all of the feelings. But one thing that was really uplifting
00:01:42.340to me was, was people talking about what they're doing to, to escape the rage. I mean, meds. Yes.
00:01:49.880Yes. I increased, increased my dose of sertraline. Uh, people also said a lot of
00:01:57.040lifting weights, getting outside, uh, planning my garden, planning my garden inspired me. I'm
00:02:04.940going to do a rooftop garden. This year, I just, Nick Astor is building some raised bed planters,
00:02:12.700which I'm very, very excited about. People also told me that they're walking their dogs more.
00:02:18.800They're going to school board meetings. Another thing that I've been very inspired to do. I'm
00:02:24.420attending my local school board meeting. I'm attending my local school board meeting next
00:02:28.840month. And then a big one, a big one from people is building and maintaining community offline.
00:02:37.760Now, I have been staying away from my phone much more than usual. I have always had the time
00:02:44.160limits on Instagram, but I've recently actually been paying attention to them because usually
00:02:49.260it's just like, we've reached a limit. Oh, okay. Would you like to click this button and you can
00:02:52.980ignore your limit? And then I'm like, yeah, of course I want to finish what I was doing.
00:02:55.400No, I stick to my limits now. So I've been thinking a lot about building community
00:03:00.260offline. My book club hasn't met in two years. We are now just a group text. And I know that I am
00:03:07.920not alone in this. This happens to a lot of book clubs. We're just a group text to be like,
00:03:12.200look at this funny meme. Does anyone have an inflatable mattress I can borrow?
00:03:17.380I'm reviving my book club. I'm pushing my book club to get back in person. It's a thing that
00:03:23.060I'm definitely going to do. Someone told me the other day that they have a book club of just two.
00:03:27.900It's them and their sister. And I love this idea because you know what? A book club doesn't have
00:03:32.360to be 10 people. You don't have to have a big, big, massive thing around it. It could just be
00:03:38.260you and one friend going to have a drink or going for a walk and talking about the same book.
00:03:44.360That's so wonderful. My guest today is Robin Call, who is something of a genius of creating
00:03:51.640community around books? For decades, she has been running a reading community called Reading with
00:03:57.860Robin up in Rhode Island. She brings in some of the best authors in the world. I've been with her
00:04:04.440twice now, and she's just so good at getting people together around books. She'll walk up to
00:04:12.000anyone, anyone that she thinks might be a reader, and say, hey, come hang out with me at this book
00:04:18.820event. It's incredible. It really is. And so I wanted to get some of her tips for how to build
00:04:24.560a bookish community. And we're also going to talk about how to model a bookish and reading life
00:04:32.160for your kids, which is something I want for my kids. And with the increase of so much of our
00:04:38.000words on phones and screens, I think modeling that gets harder and harder. So Robin and I are
00:04:43.780going to dig into how she modeled for her kids, what I'm doing to model reading for my kids.
00:04:49.280And it's just a lovely talk to escape all of the rage. But now, now, now I do have to go to a
00:04:58.340seven-year-old's basketball game, which is a room that is filled with rage-filled dads screaming at
00:05:05.940seven-year-olds and volunteer refs, which is a whole other episode of this podcast. Enjoy listening
00:05:13.280to Robin. Happy Sunday. Hello, Robin. Jo, it is such a treat to chat with you today. It's always
00:05:21.860a treat to chat with you. I'm having you on today because you've built this really powerful
00:05:28.160community of readers up in Rhode Island. And I want to hear how you did it because I talk to
00:05:35.820people all the time who want to build community, are eager to gather people in real life, and they
00:05:43.220don't know where to start. And you've been so successful with bringing in the biggest names
00:05:48.480in publishing, the biggest authors to Rhode Island, to this tiny, tiny, but beautiful state.
00:05:55.620And how do you get your friends, your neighborhood members just to show up in a third space to talk
00:06:02.020about books? Well, firstly, I don't go to my friends. Those, they're useless.
00:06:05.880beginning when I first started doing events I counted on friends and then quickly realized
00:06:13.540you know short of my friends who are really readers that grew old really fast so that is a
00:06:20.280good place to start people that know you and that might be interested for that sense then it's it
00:06:28.800was so for me word of mouth and then also I did have a radio show so when I was hosting the radio
00:06:35.400show for 12 years on air in the studio, I built that audience and translated that into an in-person
00:06:43.100event space because we figured, hey, I always enjoyed planning events and bringing people
00:06:52.740together for all different things that I'm passionate about. And the first event we did
00:06:57.560was with Jennifer Weiner in 2004 for Little Earthquakes, I think. And I approached it like
00:07:06.100an event. I was like, I don't know, I guess I sell tickets and I reach out to the people I know.
00:07:10.580It is first, that is the first step is the people that you know. And then it was their friends and
00:07:16.040tapping into book clubs. And I will talk to anybody who looks like they might be a reader.
00:07:23.340I literally. Wait, how do you how do you identify readers? I just have a sense. And then, you know
00:07:30.240what, if you're wrong, who cares? Like I have my kids loved when I used to do this. I'd say like,
00:07:35.920you look like a reader. And and I would say nine times out of 10, someone would say, yeah, how did
00:07:40.240you know? I'm like, I don't know. I just know. Like, I'm not afraid to just talk to strangers.
00:07:44.920And then I would give them my my bookmark with my information and or take their email. So it was
00:07:52.300really very one-on-one. If somebody was out in the wild anywhere with a book, I would approach them
00:07:59.060and say like, hey, oh my God, what are you reading? A few times that I got into trouble once it was
00:08:03.480like their AA Bible or the Bible. And I was like, oh, enjoy the actual Bible. Okay. Yeah. So I'd be0.81
00:08:11.300like, oh, how's that turn out? I don't want to spoil the end. So there was some of that, but
00:08:19.320But anytime, sometimes I would see a group of like women that look like they probably were readers and I'd be like, it's a club. And sometimes the answer was yes. Or sometimes it was no, but we were thinking about it or we're just friends. And I would just say like, you know, this is what I'm doing. And people always interested. I never got someone that looked at me and said, you know, can you what? You know, so I still have people come to events and remind me where I met them.0.56
00:08:45.520I also have asked other friends to, you know, do you know book clubs? And this is not to say my events are book club focused, really, but that is a way to get seven or eight readers together. And then, you know, you just multiply it out. It's a good way to build an audience.
00:09:04.820and I'm very persistent and we did a lot of really fun events and people just want to be
00:09:14.680around that energy but now it's gotten to the point where there's you know I have a very large
00:09:19.380email list and wrote we have Rhode Island and Massachusetts Connecticut like you know nearby
00:09:25.300and then just readers from all over the country so when I travel I sometimes will meet up with
00:09:31.020readers and you know it's all relationship building and you know like you were saying
00:09:35.940about building community that's really important to me and I think that it it resonates with people
00:09:42.320and whatever I've ever been interested in I like to sort of build that community and I and I really
00:09:50.600love it and a lot of the communities do cross over you know so I know some of the knitting people
00:09:58.060There are also readers, like the ladies who like to drink wine.
00:10:02.980Like, I'm always thinking, you know, who else wants to be involved with this?
00:10:07.440And the satisfaction and pride and, like, literally pure joy of getting emails or cards or messages from people who are like, you got me interested in reading again.
00:10:23.200I've left with friends, people that they stay connected to.
00:10:26.680because it's been over 20 years there's a lot of stories joe and so i just love it you know um
00:10:34.360and i do i genuinely i genuinely believe that books bring people together
00:10:38.920absolutely and in in a really unique way and there's there's just an energy in the room when
00:10:47.320you're talking about books and yeah yeah because people are thinking they're thinking about what
00:10:53.280you're talking about. It also, there's always reminders of other books they've loved through
00:10:58.280the years. There are people sharing their favorite titles and you can see the, you can feel the
00:11:04.680energy, you can see the excitement and people are, I love watching people jot things down or,
00:11:10.120you know, tap into their phones or whatever, because there's so much, there's so much sharing
00:11:15.960of beloved books. And I get messages afterwards, like what, what was that author talking about?
00:11:21.660What were those books? You know, I'm very, I'm very good at following up and closing loops. And, you know, if I say I'm going to do something or follow up on an author or see if we can get so-and-so to come to Rhode Island, I do it. And I think that builds trust and connection, you know, no matter what you're interested in doing.
00:11:40.900But yeah, books absolutely bring people together and it's something, you know, you're doing for yourself. When I'm reading a book, I'm in it, you know, and that is all I'm really doing. You know, that is especially exactly what I'm doing. I'm not thinking about other things or I'd have to just keep rereading.
00:12:00.140So I think, I know we're talking about self-care and reading, that is one of the things that is, you know, just like the best, sinking in to some space with a book and just it's you and the book and the world of the story.
00:12:27.800I've reached this point in my life that I'm really happy with. And the world is so enraging
00:12:34.460that it feels very difficult to be, to enjoy it, to enjoy it. And then I'm more enraged about that
00:12:42.380because I'm like, I have worked so hard to enjoy this and I can't right now. So I want, and I'm
00:12:51.280trying to do more things to take care of myself. I want to hear about reading and self-care and why
00:12:55.700you think that's so important. Okay, we're back. Is reading self-care for you? I mean,
00:13:08.800it's also kind of a job because you organize these events, but do you still love it and enjoy it?
00:13:14.520Absolutely. The day I stop enjoying it and loving it because, you know, job is sort of a loose
00:13:20.820definition of, I'm not exactly sure what the definition is, but it's something I have created.
00:13:26.520So I am now, yeah, it's my thing. You know, I'm going to do this thing and I spend a lot of time
00:13:32.940at it. And if it no longer served me or the joy was gone at this point in my life, you know,
00:13:42.240it would be hard to say I'm not doing this, but that is what I would do. I've certainly,
00:13:46.780I'm aware enough to know what it is you know what this is giving me what this is doing for
00:13:53.300my energy and truly self-care because I carve out that time in my day to read so I know which
00:14:03.360authors I want to bring together what the maybe what the topic is around a book or something
00:14:09.940that's important to me that I want to be able to have conversations about the book is a good way
00:14:14.760So I really do, for me, think that reading is absolutely self-care. And from all of the readers who talk about not necessarily the escape. I mean, I know that's something that people will share. And then, you know, that is an escape.
00:14:31.720I mean, as you say, this is a crazy time and it could feel not self-indulgent, really, because like what if you don't take care of yourself, you have no energy for the other things.
00:14:45.720And that is just a true thing. So reading for me is something that's really vital to my happiness.
00:14:53.100It always has been since, you know, I was a child.
00:14:56.940It is a consistent through line for me.
00:15:00.240So it is hard to shut out the noise and the worries.
00:15:06.140And so maybe some days it's less reading time than others, depending on what's calling to attention, my attention.
00:15:13.580But it is something that I put front and center, you know, where other people might put, you know, other activities front and center.
00:15:22.460Reading is something that I would just be so sad if I didn't have it in my life.
00:15:27.760Yeah, I hear from a lot of women, especially moms, that they only read, you know, at night before bed because they feel guilty doing it during any other times during the day.
00:15:41.180And that is even true of me, which is insane because this is my job.
00:16:26.140The early morning quiet time is one of my favorite times.
00:16:30.400And depending on the day, you know, the way the day is set up, if there's time during the day, I love reading when I'm more focused, right?
00:16:41.620Later in the day and at night, forget at night.
00:16:47.200But, you know, if I'm engrossed in a book and I just can't wait to see what's going to happen next, I'll just plunk myself down for a few hours in the afternoon and read, you know, and I do love to read over the week, you know, the weekends.
00:17:01.860And I managed to get to maybe two books in a week, maybe three, depends.
00:17:06.840But when there's a book, like when I was reading The Sicilian Inheritance because I know I was texting you or messaging you, I read that so fast.
00:17:14.480And, you know, so I just was like, yeah, I'm giving myself all these hours on this day or two days, whatever it was, because I had to know what was going to happen.
00:22:43.000about standardized testing. However, they did do really well. I mean, I attribute a lot of
00:22:48.060their success and their passions in general to the things they were reading, which was
00:22:54.420in this house, literally anything you want to read. Different for movies, you know, not,
00:23:01.280you know, it was pretty lenient, but I had a lot more, you know, I had standards there,
00:23:07.280but books, I was like, go for it, pick anything you want. I don't care. Just be reading. And it,
00:23:12.800it absolutely has done what I had hoped. And, you know, having lifelong readers and always
00:23:24.000being curious and picking up books that you wouldn't think you might takes all of us,
00:23:30.560you know, into other possibilities. So it's just, just love reading, Jo. I'm so glad you
00:23:38.020had me on to talk about this and that all is self-care you know I is self-care it truly truly
00:23:44.200is it's self-care it's modeling reading for our kids and you know I just I was tearing up a little
00:23:52.040bit hearing you talk about your mom and and having having her books close by because I just I want
00:23:59.560to make sure that I do that I want to make sure that I prioritize that especially with the world
00:24:03.660as weird as it is right now just think books are more important than ever yeah it's something that
00:24:10.820is such it's a passion it's it's a known fabulous thing to do for ourselves for our children who are
00:24:20.240as we know always watching and I look at these spines of books that were on shelves in my
00:24:28.840childhood home as bits of art all over the house into some of them are vignettes of specifically
00:24:36.720my mother. Some of them are interspersed with some of my favorites. And I don't care if somebody
00:24:42.600takes one and looks at it and puts it in the wrong space. That's not a thing. And I just like having
00:24:50.440them around like framed photos or like, you know, bits of what really matters to me.
00:25:00.280Yeah. So I don't know if my kids will ever be able to take all of mine, which I pared down as
00:25:07.700much as possible. But I know, I mean, Emily will say, oh, I remember you read that like in the
00:25:13.700late 90s. Or I remember you read that when we moved into this house. Like they connect certain
00:25:18.740books with different time periods so um i i am i'm very pleased that this has meant so much to
00:25:29.280the kids and my nieces and nephews too um always aunt robin do you know this book can you get me
00:25:35.960this book do you know this author and it's it's encouraged all of them um so you know what what
00:25:45.440book recommendations do you have for people right now that they can get right now? Because you read
00:25:51.300a lot of books in advance, and so do I. So I always forget what is available.
00:25:55.620Right. Oh, Joe, it is the trickiest question because you're right. I mean, I can say we had
00:26:01.660Fiona Davis here last month and The Stolen Queen, which I loved. Her historical fiction was so,
00:26:09.540So there was so much to that book. And we actually have a Zoom that we're doing with her tomorrow night. I don't know when this clip is going to air, but that, you know, we had that. We also had Lisa Genova here and we talked about more or less Maddie, which was her, that's her latest book.
00:26:29.440and it deals with a bipolar diagnosis and the family, you know, as all of her books deal with
00:26:36.040some, you know, different diagnoses. And I love Tova Mervis' We Would Never.
00:26:47.200That came out a couple of weeks ago, and it is such a thought-provoking thrill of a ride
00:26:55.760and based on the nugget of a true crime story.
00:27:23.820Those are, oh yeah, Tova Mervis' We Would Never. It's about a divorce and what a family might or might not do to make sure their family member is able to have their children with them.
00:27:40.940And I don't want to, I never, ever want to ruin anything, but it was just riveting. And the true crime story is, the person who's charged with something, I don't want to ruin anything again, is like currently, it's in court right now.
00:27:59.120So it was like really interesting timing. But yeah, it's called We Would Never and more or less Maddie and The Stolen Queen are the three most recent ones.
00:28:10.760Because as you mentioned, I'm reading Summer, Fall.
00:28:15.180You're reading ahead. You're reading ahead right now.
00:28:54.000They can slide into my DMs and I will send them the link.
00:28:59.120Yeah. Any of those ways. If you put Robin, Rhode Island books, I should come right away and feel free to reach out and I will get people the links and they can join. They're happy to have everybody join in.
00:29:14.260I love that. I love that so much. This was such a nice Sunday. Nice things. Thank you for being here.
00:29:19.600Oh, thank you so much for having me. I was really looking forward to this. And, you know, your presence here in Rhode Island had a wonderful shelf life. People just so enjoyed it. And I'm thrilled that there's a new book coming and we can have more.
00:29:38.660I'll be up there this summer for Everyone is Lying to You. We just have to figure out a date. I'm going to bring my kids up. We're going to take them to the beach. We're going to make this one.
00:29:45.480that's so fun every the titles everyone is lying to you everyone is lying to you and you know what
00:29:52.280it is it is available for pre-order right now but wait with the price of eggs so high who wants to
00:29:58.300pre-order books books last forever and eggs you know you digest them i digest them everyone is