Under the Influence (with Jo Piazza) - Sunday Nice Things： Romances & Practicalities with Nick Aster

00:00:00.000 Hello, all. Happy Sunday, and welcome to Sunday Nice Things. We're doing something a little

00:00:11.840 bit different today. Sometimes on Sundays, I drop another podcast into your feed that

00:00:16.920 I think you're going to like. Today, we are going to try Sunday Nice Things Book Club

00:00:21.000 with the one and only Nick Astor. Yep, we are. It's going to be fun. We're going to

00:00:26.900 have a chat. We're having a chat about my friend Lindsay Roth's new book, Romances and Practicalities.

00:00:34.000 Now, this book is partially a memoir about her own love story as a single lady living in New York

00:00:39.660 who fell in love with a dashing British man. And their romance was very quick. It was a whirlwind,

00:00:46.600 much like my own romance after I met Nick Astor in the Galapagos. And at one point,

00:00:52.620 Lindsay was like, oh my gosh, I don't know if we know each other well enough to be moving so quickly

00:01:00.800 for things to be so serious. And so Romances and Practicalities tells Lindsay's story,

00:01:06.780 but then it also has 250 questions for couples who are diving into a new relationship if they

00:01:13.820 want to figure out if they're compatible, if they should do this crazy marriage thing.

00:01:18.000 But I, I really think that it is good for couples who are already in a long term relationship, who just kind of want a refresher. So I'm ambushing Nick today. He's going to come up. He doesn't know what we're talking about. And we're going to go through some of these questions and see where we're at 10 years into this marriage thing.

00:01:38.900 okay so i've got this book here i blurbed this book just full disclosure it is my friend

00:01:52.260 lindsey roth i don't think that you've met lindsey but i met her years ago when i was single

00:01:58.080 in new york city and she was a producer for the larry king show and we were both standing in line

00:02:02.580 for a sushi restaurant and we became friends in the sushi restaurant line i love it and we've

00:02:08.500 stayed friends since then cool yeah and so i blurbed this book romances and practicalities

00:02:14.280 i said reading romances and practicalities feel the little like eavesdropping we're watching a

00:02:20.020 really great rom-com roth provides a template for having the conversations we know we should have

00:02:26.340 but don't know how to initiate i'd like to point out it sounds excellent and i'd also like to point

00:02:33.480 out that this was sprung upon me and i have not read the book but i do love the kind of conversations

00:02:38.940 that you just suggested and i'm looking forward to giving it a shot yeah no i just you just took

00:02:44.200 a shower and you got out and i said we're gonna we're gonna record an episode so you don't you

00:02:48.500 don't know what's gonna happen this is how things work around here in our house you and i did this

00:02:53.960 we before we got married when we were still staying in your sad sad oh please bachelor

00:03:01.640 apartment with a mattress on the floor joyful it may have been bachelorette but it was joyful

00:03:06.860 it had a mattress on the floor it was technically on a piece of wood on the floor i don't think it

00:03:11.840 was at some point it was it was a mattress on the floor uh so when we spent some time there before

00:03:18.540 we got married we googled all of those lists of questions of things you should talk about

00:03:23.380 before you get married like how many kids do you want how do you feel about money yeah do you

00:03:31.000 remember doing this yeah and it was a very very good idea which i will not only recommend to

00:03:36.980 anybody that's thinking about getting married but to people that you know have been married for a

00:03:40.700 while because it's good to revisit those things i think it's good to revisit those things because

00:03:44.360 we are fastly approaching our 10-year wedding anniversary good god i know i know we just we

00:03:50.600 just passed our boniversary our hookup of her sir how dreadfully crude of you i know you know

00:03:59.100 who you married you are well aware of who you married so i i thought that i would just thumb

00:04:05.040 through this book and and find some questions and throw them out and have you answer them with me

00:04:09.800 live on this podcast okay okay have you selected these are you turning to random i am turning to

00:04:16.560 random pages because that is how we roll here on under the influence okay you never know what's

00:04:21.600 going to happen. I did not prepare any of this in advance. Do it. Do you feel you can communicate

00:04:28.980 with me about any subject under any circumstance? Generally speaking, yes. Do you? Yeah. Are you

00:04:38.880 sure? Final answer. Yes. Okay. I don't know if you do. Well, do you feel you can communicate

00:04:49.480 to me under any circumstance? No, I do not. No. I am very worried a lot of the time that you

00:04:56.320 are going to get agitated or that you're going to think that I'm being overbearing or bossy

00:05:04.700 when I try to talk to you about some things. This is a good conversation to have. It does

00:05:10.760 open some questions and I appreciate you bringing it up. And you certainly, I understand where you're

00:05:17.080 coming from when you say that. So, you know, that's useful information for me. And that leads

00:05:21.700 me to, you know, start to consider my reactions or what you perceive to be my reactions when it

00:05:28.960 comes to certain subjects. I'd like to dive into this more when we have time.

00:05:33.820 You mean when we're not on a microphone?

00:05:35.700 It's probably a better way to do it.

00:05:38.820 Well, I think that's a really...

00:05:39.920 Because to be honest, it would get boring.

00:05:41.260 It would get boring for the listeners. But I think that's a really good example of some of

00:05:44.840 the questions that are that are in here i'm just gonna i'm gonna thumb through and and find find

00:05:50.540 some more lindsey interviewed some really interesting couples for this book too she she

00:05:54.940 talked to nate burkus who i love uh influencer design guru oh my god wait there's my name on

00:06:00.800 this page i randomly just whoa i literally just opened this i don't i have no idea what it says

00:06:06.800 it says at it's easy to forget the multitude of factors that may come into play over the years

00:06:13.420 And at no point was that more clear than during my conversation with Joe Piazza.

00:06:17.080 You may remember her, writer and podcaster extraordinaire, who went from researching marriage to researching infidelity.

00:06:23.900 I did. I did.

00:06:25.520 Oh, this is this talks about our move from San Francisco to Philadelphia, where we talk about what kind of people like we are and what kind of environment we want to live in.

00:06:38.080 Do we want to live in a city? Do we want to live in the suburbs? And was Philadelphia the right place for us to be?

00:06:44.920 Cool. So what's the question?

00:06:47.660 Well, the question is, what type of house or apartment do you prefer to live in? Urban or rural city or suburbs?

00:06:54.520 Yeah.

00:06:55.100 And that is something that we were very, very aligned.

00:06:59.700 That's fundamental. That's something you got to.

00:07:01.100 I think that is fundamental.

00:07:03.040 I think it's, I know a lot of couples that have really grappled with this because one of them is a suburb person and one of them is an urban person.

00:07:11.620 And Lindsay had to deal with this because she was in New York and the guy she fell in love with was in England.

00:07:16.060 Yeah.

00:07:16.720 Well, it's a big deal.

00:07:17.340 People think that's no big deal, right?

00:07:18.880 But it is.

00:07:19.460 It's a big deal.

00:07:19.960 It's a big deal.

00:07:21.320 All right.

00:07:21.520 This next chapter is health and medical stuff.

00:07:24.640 What are your thoughts on going to the doctor, the dentist, getting regular checkups or physicals?

00:07:29.740 Would you want me to make those appointments for you?

00:07:32.380 Whoa, is that an option?

00:07:33.900 No.

00:07:35.800 It's an option.

00:07:36.580 You could make them for me.

00:07:38.180 I don't think I'd be good at that.

00:07:40.400 You've gotten a lot.

00:07:40.960 I'm not opposed to it.

00:07:42.280 I would not be skilled at making appointments for you when it comes to medical concerns.

00:07:48.180 That's highly personal.

00:07:49.860 I know.

00:07:50.520 I wish you could, though, because I want to write a note to the doctor right now asking about this weird pain in my shoulder

00:07:57.220 to find out if it's, you know, muscular dystrophy weird pain

00:08:00.700 or just perimenopause old lady pain.

00:08:04.320 And I don't feel like writing it, so I wish that you could do it.

00:08:06.680 You've gotten better at doing the kids' appointments, though.

00:08:09.260 That's easy.

00:08:10.260 It's not always easy. 0.74

00:08:11.400 Well, it's technically a pain in the butt, but that wouldn't work.

00:08:18.060 There's no way it wouldn't be efficient for me to be like, well.

00:08:21.340 But I feel like I could make the appointments for you.

00:08:23.400 That's the thing.

00:08:24.100 That's the difference.

00:08:24.740 But I would have to ask you, which is, it's very different.

00:08:28.040 And admittedly, I am guilty of the male stereotype of never going to the doctor.

00:08:32.120 You never go to the doctor.

00:08:33.860 You know, it's a male stereotype.

00:08:35.680 I don't know why it's the case.

00:08:36.900 I know.

00:08:37.140 But, you know, I know I need at some point to do a checkup.

00:08:40.320 I haven't been to the dentist.

00:08:40.800 You're blind right now.

00:08:42.120 Since before COVID.

00:08:42.500 I know I need you to do that.

00:08:43.700 Your LASIK has deteriorated to the point that I don't think you should be driving a car.

00:08:47.580 Yeah.

00:08:48.060 Well, not quite that bad.

00:08:49.140 But it's, you know, it's noticeable.

00:08:50.760 Anyway, you're absolutely right.

00:08:52.680 I feel no particular personal urgency, and it doesn't really have any effect on you, so I don't think it's a big deal.

00:09:01.380 Right.

00:09:01.800 Okay.

00:09:02.180 Whereas I will go to all of my doctor's appointments.

00:09:05.160 Yeah. 0.93

00:09:06.380 Also, after we discovered this season, one of us has to manage the flu shots for the whole family because we really, really shit the bed on that one. 0.53

00:09:16.460 Yeah. 0.80

00:09:16.720 Yeah.

00:09:16.900 We blew it.

00:09:17.440 That was a mutual.

00:09:19.420 Although, you know, it's nice if they sent you reminders, right?

00:09:22.000 Pretty sure they did.

00:09:23.660 Pretty sure those were sent.

00:09:27.600 Hey, you know, in my defense and in your defense, their system is horrendous. 0.98

00:09:32.240 And setting up appointments is a royal pain in the butt. 0.98

00:09:35.580 It's awful. 0.79

00:09:35.840 And it never works.

00:09:36.460 And you end up having to call them.

00:09:37.500 And then they get mad at you for calling because they say, use our automated system.

00:09:40.640 And they say, the automated system didn't work.

00:09:42.540 And da, da, da, da, da.

00:09:43.220 And down you go.

00:09:43.840 I know.

00:09:44.360 I know.

00:09:45.160 Okay.

00:09:45.480 This is a good one that I don't think we've ever talked about.

00:09:47.420 How do you like to be taken care of or not taken care of when you're ill with something like the common cold?

00:09:54.160 Oh, we just ignore the common cold and power through it in this house.

00:10:00.820 Because one of us always has the common cold.

00:10:02.820 But how about not the common cold, but like that time the flu put me in bed.

00:10:08.360 Good one, good one, good one.

00:10:09.960 Well, I'd like to know your answer to that because I'd like to think I do.

00:10:13.600 But you have a habit of wanting to power through it in work.

00:10:17.420 And so sometimes when I say, hey, take it easy, you're like, I can't, I can't, I got to get something done.

00:10:24.460 And there's, so I have to back off.

00:10:25.820 I'm like, well, I don't know.

00:10:27.020 I've gotten better at that, though.

00:10:28.540 I let myself just, I rotted in that bed for three days.

00:10:32.520 You get in the hospital?

00:10:34.160 No, before the hospital.

00:10:35.380 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:10:35.900 Before the hospital.

00:10:36.300 That was rough.

00:10:38.840 I want to be taking, I want my needs anticipated, I think.

00:10:44.000 I want you to be like, you know what? 1.00

00:10:45.440 She's going to need Gatorade and probably chicken soup. 0.99

00:10:47.280 I'm just going to go get those and have them ready.

00:10:49.400 It would be best if I offered because if I did that and you didn't want it, it could be worse than not doing it.

00:10:54.280 Trust me.

00:10:54.980 You think this?

00:10:55.760 Oh, yes.

00:10:56.200 Okay.

00:10:56.840 I know this.

00:10:57.740 All right.

00:10:58.400 And I like a check-in.

00:10:59.960 I like you to be like every once in a while, I'll be like, hey, what can I do for you right now?

00:11:04.140 I think I'd like more frequent check-ins.

00:11:05.820 I can dig that.

00:11:06.680 Yeah.

00:11:06.980 Like I like to feel like I'm being taken care of when I'm sick because I do so much of taking care of other people.

00:11:15.580 And clean.

00:11:16.280 I like the house to be clean.

00:11:17.640 I get very stressed out when things are not orderly.

00:11:20.700 And so the house being a mess while I'm sick drives me insane.

00:11:24.400 Oh, yeah.

00:11:25.260 Well, fair enough.

00:11:26.780 Fair enough, right?

00:11:27.440 Well, how do you want to be taken care of?

00:11:30.180 You know, I've been sick to the point of incapacitation, I think, once in the last 10 years.

00:11:38.140 But it was bad.

00:11:38.900 That was the summer.

00:11:39.640 We were at the cabin, and you couldn't move.

00:11:40.680 I don't know what the hell it was.

00:11:41.820 I was in terrible shape.

00:11:42.800 And at that particular time, you did a great job.

00:11:45.520 And by a great job, you simply allowed me to just not get off the couch.

00:11:50.620 Yeah.

00:11:51.180 Which was great.

00:11:52.060 I think the biggest thing for parents is to take the kids away. 1.00

00:11:55.140 Get those kids away from me.

00:11:57.540 I can't parent. 1.00

00:11:59.100 Yeah.

00:12:00.000 Yeah.

00:12:00.760 I think that's a big one.

00:12:01.960 That's a big one.

00:12:02.860 Okay.

00:12:03.060 All right.

00:12:03.480 Oh, the next chapter is on children.

00:12:05.140 This is great.

00:12:05.560 Okay.

00:12:06.400 We're going to take one break and then we'll be back with a couple more questions from

00:12:10.440 Romances and Practicalities.

00:12:15.520 all right children all right we're back hello again nick astor thank you for doing this with

00:12:27.780 me on a Friday afternoon you want to do a movie night with the kids tonight yeah what should we

00:12:32.980 watch all right we got to talk about it but as i noted i think we should decide because if you ask

00:12:38.460 the children they'll argue first of all right they'll want to watch the same movie they've seen

00:12:44.040 16 times right we need to broaden the horizons we need to pick something and we need to just say

00:12:49.460 this is what we're watching they'll they'll be upset for five minutes then they'll get you know

00:12:54.500 i think i'm gonna demand harry potter okay because charlie and i are in the middle of reading it

00:13:00.280 yeah and i think because charlie is a person that likes to know what's going to happen next

00:13:06.720 i think he'll enjoy having watched the movie let's do it uh and b wants to start reading the

00:13:11.920 books too and harry potter is not a movie that i'm going to hate we tried to watch short circuit

00:13:16.400 last weekend wasn't very good it's a really bad movie it does not hold up no it's at all i think

00:13:24.220 i liked it when i was seven or whenever i saw it but charlie hated it yeah i think he hated it

00:13:30.580 yeah he did no he actively hated it we also recently watched three men and a baby pretty

00:13:36.680 cheesy but b loved it well he's pretty irrational but she loved it although i will say the things

00:13:46.080 about that movie that do not hold up is you have these three men who are in their mid to late 30s

00:13:52.400 okay like maybe even 40 yeah and they're living together three men like that's a red flag there

00:13:59.700 just three dudes yeah late in life i mean it's not entirely unusual in new york but at that stage

00:14:05.300 of life and all of whom seem to be wildly successful professionals that did get a little

00:14:09.180 it was a little far-fetched and there is also an opening montage of women leaving their apartment

00:14:13.540 and mass in the morning after they've all done it which is just real i mean it goes on forever

00:14:19.780 it's like 10 minutes of just really attractive women kissing them goodbye in front of their own

00:14:24.040 private elevator yeah it's you know it's a little weird it's a little weird but you know i i love me

00:14:30.520 some 80s, 90s Tom Selleck.

00:14:32.640 And Gutenberg, which is why we thought

00:14:34.460 that we would enjoy Short Circuit,

00:14:36.380 but alas.

00:14:37.860 All right, so the first question here

00:14:38.960 in the children chapter in Romances and Practicalities

00:14:41.480 is, would you like to have children?

00:14:43.540 And if so, how many?

00:14:44.840 That ship has sailed.

00:14:46.200 That ship has sailed.

00:14:47.320 However, I mean, you know, man,

00:14:48.780 I meet people all the time who are in trouble

00:14:50.600 with their marriage.

00:14:51.740 One of them changed their mind

00:14:53.140 or they said this or that

00:14:54.260 or they didn't quite settle the question.

00:14:56.360 You know, that is a super important one.

00:14:59.080 It's a really big one

00:14:59.880 Because I have a friend who definitely wanted more than one kid, and their husband was absolutely stuck on one kid.

00:15:07.660 And I think that my friend has been really upset about it, that he never budged.

00:15:14.560 And, you know, yeah, I think that's our...

00:15:17.580 And we both started out wanting two.

00:15:20.700 Well, I think you had an inkling for more, but...

00:15:23.260 No, no, no.

00:15:23.780 I wanted two in the beginning.

00:15:25.520 In the beginning, I wanted two.

00:15:27.220 And I thought three was absurd.

00:15:28.320 and then I wasn't done.

00:15:30.980 You never thought it was absurd.

00:15:32.360 I thought it was absurd.

00:15:33.200 I thought it was absurd.

00:15:34.420 I thought it was absurd.

00:15:35.660 I remember saying to Emily and Leslie,

00:15:37.900 three seems like so many kids.

00:15:39.100 I can't believe you guys have three kids.

00:15:42.160 It is a lot.

00:15:44.360 But the third one is the best.

00:15:46.400 Our third baby is the best baby.

00:15:48.120 She's very sweet.

00:15:49.120 She's so sweet.

00:15:50.620 Do you anticipate raising our children

00:15:52.460 the same way you were raised,

00:15:54.560 completely differently from the way you were raised

00:15:56.580 or a mixture of both?

00:15:57.660 I was raised by wolves, so this does not apply to me.

00:16:01.620 Yeah.

00:16:01.820 Because I'm raising my children the exact opposite of every single way that I was raised.

00:16:08.880 Yeah.

00:16:09.700 I think that's not much of a question.

00:16:12.280 I think nobody raises their children the same way they were raised.

00:16:16.740 That's not really possible.

00:16:19.080 I mean, certainly there are aspects that I would reflect on as replicable and desirable,

00:16:26.720 But for the most part, I think we're doing okay paving our own path in that regard.

00:16:32.240 We're doing okay.

00:16:33.060 We're doing okay.

00:16:33.840 I mean, I think that every day is a struggle, and we figure it out every day.

00:16:40.000 And for the most part, I liked our kids.

00:16:42.040 Not I liked.

00:16:42.960 I like our kids.

00:16:45.420 I like our kids, too.

00:16:46.720 They're good kids.

00:16:47.480 They're good kids.

00:16:48.220 I wouldn't have it in LA.

00:16:49.360 This is interesting.

00:16:50.340 If we have children, how would that impact our careers?

00:16:53.960 Oh.

00:16:54.920 Yeah.

00:16:56.720 Yeah. I mean, that's a toughie, right? I mean, we have managed to roll along because we've got child care, which is, that's the thing. I mean, that's what people forget. I mean, you can't. I don't know how anyone does it. If both parents are working, forget it. It's impossible. You have to have some kind of child care.

00:17:21.560 You have to throw so much money at child care.

00:17:23.680 Or you have, you know, the lack of relatives nearby and so on.

00:17:28.740 You can't rely on relatives.

00:17:31.120 Some people do.

00:17:32.620 Some people do.

00:17:33.240 I think that is a full mythology.

00:17:34.640 It's not a mythology.

00:17:35.700 No, you know where it works?

00:17:37.080 I'll tell you where it works.

00:17:38.160 Mexico?

00:17:39.940 I mean, countries that have different cultures that are far less American?

00:17:44.660 It works in places, yes, where we live in villages with our family.

00:17:52.580 And by village, I don't mean an actual village, but I mean we live in close proximity to our family, which most Americans don't.

00:17:58.040 We move back here so that my mom helps, but my mom can't do three kids all the time.

00:18:03.660 And I will say, I think it also works when people have kids a lot younger.

00:18:10.220 So if you were to have kids at 20 and your mom had kids at 20 and then your mom is 40 when you have your kids.

00:18:18.400 But my mom's in her my mom's 70.

00:18:21.980 Right. Because we had kids so much later in life.

00:18:24.960 So when people have kids earlier, then maybe it is easier for their parents to step in because they're our age.

00:18:32.900 I'm sure that's true.

00:18:35.000 Yeah. So and there's just there's a lot of landmines with that.

00:18:37.760 we were talking about our careers i it was never a question that i was not going to keep working

00:18:44.200 yeah i don't think either of us really questioned it i mean now we're in a different ballgame where

00:18:49.600 i'm questioning it which is another conversation but um you know uh at the end of the day that is

00:18:56.880 another one of those fundamental issues yeah well this is this is interesting you might not want to

00:19:01.940 answer this on the microphone if you don't want it you can just say no you can say no how important

00:19:06.240 is your career in terms of your identity.

00:19:10.020 What define career?

00:19:12.260 Well, that's the thing.

00:19:13.180 I think, you know, for a long time...

00:19:14.760 Purpose in life?

00:19:15.780 I think purpose.

00:19:16.620 No, purpose is different than a career.

00:19:18.260 Purpose is different than a career.

00:19:19.380 Well, ideally, a career is related to your purpose.

00:19:22.320 For the majority of people, I'll bet it's not.

00:19:24.640 True.

00:19:25.060 I think that that is something that, you know,

00:19:27.740 a very small percentage of people have.

00:19:30.900 Yeah, that's possibly true.

00:19:31.840 I would say purpose is fundamental.

00:19:34.020 Career, less so.

00:19:35.780 In terms of you were just talking about climbing some corporate ladder as a definition of career.

00:19:41.200 It just depends what you mean by that.

00:19:42.520 Right.

00:19:43.380 But I do think that your career has been tied up in your identity for a long time.

00:19:47.740 Yes.

00:19:48.400 Especially as a man, to be able to say this is what I do.

00:19:51.580 What I do for money tends to be very tied up with a male identity.

00:19:54.780 That is definitely a male cliche, and it's a lot of truth to it.

00:19:59.880 i was i mean my i find my identity my identity very tied up with my career and also not just

00:20:07.840 with my career but i'll admit this with my career success

00:20:10.460 and that's and that's not the best that's not great for but the interesting evolution for me

00:20:18.160 is that for a long time my identity was shaped by the place i was working so it's like i'm a

00:20:23.940 reporter for the daily news i am an editor at yahoo right and now that i write for me

00:20:31.860 it's more i think more about my individual success which is also something that can be

00:20:37.740 maddening and isn't the best but i would say my identity is very tied up with what i do

00:20:43.180 i would agree and maybe that's not great i don't think it's a problem if it if there's a passion

00:20:51.920 and a purpose to it well that like i'm very lucky that i like the majority of things that i do to

00:20:58.620 make money so and they feel very purposeful okay this is a whole chapter about money and finances

00:21:10.200 how should we handle our long-term financial planning we just took care of that

00:21:15.100 we just we just sat down we hired a whole financial advising team to help us figure that out

00:21:21.720 we uh well sort of but yeah uh yes yeah like we we well we sorted we we sat down and we sorted

00:21:30.560 through we're like we have these retirement accounts and this is the money that goes into

00:21:34.180 this and this is how much we're allocating it for the next couple years and so we did that we did

00:21:40.080 that and not only did we do that but we did a very good job with the children and we're actively

00:21:44.320 saving money for them and the inevitable uh massive outflow of money for college assuming

00:21:53.240 college exists we don't know but i keep saying i'm like college is not going to exist the way

00:21:57.160 that it existed uh i think private colleges are getting so stigmatized private elite colleges

00:22:03.500 are getting very stigmatized right now i don't know if look i love penn so much like you know

00:22:11.320 i love pet i don't even know if our kids will get in so that's that that's and they're smart kids

00:22:20.240 they're smart kids but i think you have to be essentially like an alien to go into good schools

00:22:26.340 now that's a whole nother podcast episode that's a whole other episode that's a whole other episode

00:22:30.580 and i and but okay but i don't this isn't even a question here i don't want our kids to be anxious

00:22:35.520 about college is the thing.

00:22:37.440 I really don't want to raise kids

00:22:39.040 who are massive overachievers,

00:22:41.940 who are constantly stressed out

00:22:43.520 about trying to get into these top schools.

00:22:46.400 I totally agree.

00:22:47.880 Because I was not.

00:22:49.640 Yeah.

00:22:49.980 I was really just like,

00:22:52.340 I did well in high school, 0.98

00:22:55.060 but I was also just kind of a massive fuck up.

00:22:58.220 So I don't know how I stumbled into Penn.

00:23:01.360 Really very clever.

00:23:02.380 i don't think i don't think it's enough to be clever anymore yeah well i don't think you can

00:23:07.600 be the leader popping 40s in the mall parking lot uh it's frowned upon these days but it's frowned

00:23:14.880 upon these days no this is a whole this is a that's i don't have a short answer for that one

00:23:20.340 but i think you're more or less on the right track yeah i don't know i don't know

00:23:24.040 i have to be thumbing through but we're coming to a close we're coming to a close

00:23:29.520 This is the whole section on religion, which doesn't really apply to us.

00:23:34.200 Although I will say, because neither of us are religious or even culturally religious, it would be nice if we had a way of forming community the way that you often can within a church or a synagogue.

00:23:49.900 We do that with our friend groups.

00:23:52.880 And, you know, I say all the time that Philadelphia is our kids' religion.

00:23:56.420 their intense love of the city of Philadelphia

00:24:00.880 this is one that we need to narrow down

00:24:04.840 and I would love people's advice on this one

00:24:06.600 because the kids ask about this a lot

00:24:10.520 and I never know how to answer it

00:24:11.920 what happens when we die

00:24:13.220 you mean the question of literally what happens when we die

00:24:18.480 literally what happens when we die

00:24:20.920 I send you down to the crematorium

00:24:23.760 do we have a little

00:24:25.480 well no

00:24:26.880 we've talked about this

00:24:27.880 if you choose to remarry

00:24:29.360 you have to carry my ashes

00:24:30.320 Mount Kilimanjaro 1.00

00:24:31.160 with your new wife

00:24:31.940 while recounting

00:24:32.680 wonderful stories about me

00:24:33.840 do I have to wait around 0.67

00:24:34.720 until I get a new wife 1.00

00:24:35.580 well this is a good 1.00

00:24:37.520 does she have to carry the ashes 0.98

00:24:38.680 it's a nice way for her

00:24:39.480 to learn about the burden 1.00

00:24:40.320 of being your other wife 1.00

00:24:42.300 I need you to carry this container 1.00

00:24:43.760 carry this container

00:24:44.460 what is it

00:24:45.000 nothing

00:24:45.500 just carry it

00:24:46.940 don't worry about it

00:24:47.760 just carry about it

00:24:48.800 she won't know

00:24:49.580 until you blow the ashes 1.00

00:24:50.360 in her face 0.99

00:24:51.040 at the top of the mountain

00:24:51.840 yeah

00:24:52.620 I bet you'd get arrested for doing it, but, um, sure.

00:24:57.680 I'll do it.

00:24:58.600 Yeah.

00:24:59.040 Well, no, I think we should talk about it because I, I mean,

00:25:01.340 I've offered many different answers to our kids from the very scientific

00:25:06.460 ones to the kind of more magical ones.

00:25:10.640 And it's different every time.

00:25:11.520 So I think that's something to talk about.

00:25:13.140 Yeah.

00:25:15.300 All right.

00:25:15.980 That's what we're going to do today.

00:25:17.060 We can do more later if you want.

00:25:19.360 Great.

00:25:20.400 I like this.

00:25:21.540 Was that fun?

00:25:23.080 That was fun, actually.

00:25:24.300 And we can sit in bed and do it tonight, if you like.

00:25:26.940 Yeah.

00:25:27.260 Or we could watch White Lotus.

00:25:29.440 Well, no, I don't think we can.

00:25:30.920 I think we only watched you on the episode.

00:25:32.220 Oh, I don't know if there's another episode out yet.

00:25:34.120 Yeah.

00:25:34.320 I liked it.

00:25:35.320 Yeah, it's good. 1.00

00:25:36.320 I mean, it's, you know, it's the most, like, idiotic American stereotype people. 0.99

00:25:43.940 But that's part of what it's amusing. 0.99

00:25:45.740 But their American stereotypes were a reason.

00:25:47.640 Yeah. 0.91

00:25:48.180 Yeah.

00:25:48.980 No, I liked it.

00:25:50.060 I like everything with Parker Posey, though.

00:25:52.240 Parker Posey was your crush.

00:25:53.840 Parker Posey is your celebrity.

00:25:55.200 Parker Posey and Sarah Silverman are Nick Astor celebrity crushes.

00:25:59.280 And when you know that, it does seem to make sense that he married me.

00:26:03.500 There's a little parallel there.

00:26:05.160 Yeah.

00:26:06.120 All right.

00:26:06.700 Thank you for being here with us.

00:26:07.760 This was a different version of Sunday Nice Things, but I hope you enjoyed it.

00:26:12.300 The book Romances and Practicalities is available wherever you buy books.

00:26:16.900 And Lindsay Roth, the author, is just a delight.

00:26:19.760 And I adore her.

00:26:21.160 Go have a great rest of your day.

00:26:22.240 You deserve it.

00:26:52.240 You

Under the Influence (with Jo Piazza) - February 24, 2025

Sunday Nice Things： Romances & Practicalities with Nick Aster

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