Unlearn16: Class is in Session - The One Where I Ran Up The Stairs When I Should Have Run Out The Door

00:00:00.000 class is in session hey guys welcome to unlearn 16 class is in session tonight you just get me

00:00:09.900 there's nobody else here except for 380 or so people that are on my tiktok live right now

00:00:16.920 watching me do this as i watch myself and you're watching me it's very like you know metaphoric or

00:00:24.800 something? What's that word? Meta? It's very meta. I feel very meta. So as these guys are all here,

00:00:30.780 it's funny. I can talk to them at the same time as talking to you. I should do one where I put

00:00:38.140 up my phone here and I answer TikTok questions as we go. And sort of this could be a permanent

00:00:44.420 live situation. I never even thought about that. Maybe next time. That's not what we're doing

00:00:49.800 today. That's not what this podcast is about, guys. This podcast is part one, because I'm pretty

00:00:56.040 sure I'm going to do part two, okay? But this is part one of all of my favorite horror movies and

00:01:03.120 why, all right? Now, some of you, you're going to guess them all. Some of them, they'll be right out

00:01:07.760 of left field. You'll be like, I have no idea what that is, nor have I ever seen it. So hopefully you

00:01:12.320 get a good vibe of my taste. We're going to start easy. We're going to ease everybody into it,

00:01:18.440 because everybody knows my favorite horror movie. It's my favorite movie of all time.

00:01:25.140 And it should be your favorite horror movie. The only reason it's not because you haven't seen it.

00:01:29.720 Here we go. Jaws. The original. Not to be confused with Jaws 3D. That's a different movie altogether,

00:01:38.380 although I still found it highly enjoyable. Jaws came out in 1975. Jaws and Me came out the same

00:01:45.400 year uh made me afraid of the ocean for 20 years but made gave me like this fascination with sharks

00:01:55.000 for a horror movie to make you be afraid but also be enthralled and captivated

00:02:03.320 by the actual main aggressive character guys i i got my scuba diving license because of jaws

00:02:12.280 i surf because of jaws i i um have gone into shark tanks because of jaws i watch this movie

00:02:20.840 every single year on my birthday there is no better movie and what what's so great about this

00:02:27.080 movie i think number one character development is amazing the character development and the

00:02:32.680 conversations it's like you're not even watching actors number one number two the pairing of the

00:02:37.560 music with the horror movie and with the the way this horror movie you know organized itself is

00:02:45.800 beyond brilliant beyond brilliant right and the fact and you guys know this the fact that you

00:02:52.440 don't really see the shark for 90 of the movie is the brilliance the brilliance of a horror movie

00:02:59.160 isn't seeing the creature it's the fear that the creature is in the shadow behind you

00:03:06.440 because horror movies are trying to speak to our deep dark secret fears and the deep dark secret

00:03:12.680 isn't the person that's facing you it's the person that's behind you right and i think jaws did it

00:03:19.480 the best you know um i really do i mean like i said though i know this made people when it made

00:03:26.760 me afraid of sharks it it made me so intrigued that i actually wanted to learn more about them

00:03:34.360 I actually wanted to get closer to them. I've pet my fair share of sharks at this point.

00:03:39.240 Vanessa and I will be going shark diving together to get closer to sharks. I want to go free diving

00:03:46.040 with sharks. My love of the ocean started here. I know it's really weird to say, but it's still

00:03:52.040 a great scary movie. It really is. And let's be honest, you cheer a little bit for the shark.

00:03:57.320 all right number two number two is an easy one because everybody should watch this at Halloween

00:04:05.580 Halloween look at that look at that can you guys see that that's a great special effect right there

00:04:13.360 that's fantastic Halloween came out what 78 Jamie Lee Curtis and again what Halloween did

00:04:24.360 P.S. The Rob Zombie version that came out terrified the crap out of me, was the only remake of any

00:04:32.100 movie I've ever seen where I was blown away. But I'm not talking about him, I'm talking about the

00:04:35.940 original. Now what was amazing about this original was the appearance of Michael Myers, was the

00:04:42.660 instantaneous appearance, was the slow moving, was the subtle head tilt, was the sort of quiet,

00:04:50.600 calm, animalistic nature, right? You open the fridge door, you shut it, he's there.

00:04:57.020 You don't see him, you turn off the lights, you shut the window, you lock the door and you go

00:05:03.080 upstairs and he's quite literally in the shadow of the curtain. That's what made this movie great.

00:05:10.140 Now, it did start traditions of horror movies, which I kind of like. I find them interesting.

00:05:16.560 the notion that they are there to teach morality, right? So what are the rules of a horror movie?

00:05:24.300 We have rules of a horror movie that reflect the culture in which you live in order to teach you

00:05:30.220 lessons, right? Historically, horror movies, horrifically racist. Minority characters get

00:05:38.180 killed off quicker than anyone else also incredibly sexist right no drinking no drugs no sex before 0.97

00:05:48.180 marriage the people that survive a horror movie jamie lee curtis the virgins right the ones that 0.86

00:05:57.860 said no to all of that just stayed home and studied and she's the one with the purity to beat

00:06:04.660 michael myers right and i think those kind of urban legend underpinnings really really interest

00:06:12.420 me because it's trying to teach you something let's be honest you know i don't even know if

00:06:18.500 we really wanted to be taught it it's just this alter underlying it's the same with urban legends

00:06:23.940 the same with fairy tales they're all built in order to teach cultural norms to young kids be

00:06:31.300 Be careful what you do, or the boogeyman's going to get you, right?

00:06:37.260 Halloween.

00:06:39.040 Next, probably the scariest movie.

00:06:43.580 I don't know, one of the scariest movies I've ever seen that makes me, you know, still to

00:06:51.180 this day kind of freak out a little bit, but I love it.

00:06:54.620 Nightmare on Elm Street.

00:06:56.160 This is the original.

00:06:57.440 Johnny Depp.

00:06:57.940 Robert Unglin was like probably one of the best bad guys ever. The reason why this was interesting

00:07:06.420 is because unlike Michael Myers, he was bad for a reason. And I don't know how many people know

00:07:14.700 the origin stories of Freddie, right? Why he's burnt, why he attacks kids in their dreams.

00:07:19.820 The origin story goes something like this. The people of Elm Street found out that he was hurting

00:07:25.940 kids in that really incredibly dodgy way. So they arrested him, they took him to trial,

00:07:31.940 he got off on a technicality. So the parents of Elm Street got together, caught him, burned him

00:07:39.040 alive. And when they burned him alive, they allowed him or they imbued him with the power

00:07:46.340 to enter their kids' dreams. And if he kills them in their dreams, they die in real life.

00:07:53.160 england sorry right 0.98

00:07:58.100 if he kills them in their dreams they die in real life now come on guys outside of the creepy

00:08:09.100 backstory to this character and the real evil let's be honest right horror movie's not the

00:08:16.180 evil. The evil's at the beginning of this movie. So the real evil is obviously the predators in

00:08:27.060 real life, but this sort of magnifies it and it magnifies it on that whole vigilante side. So

00:08:33.560 the parents got together and decided what they were going to do, right? The parents hid it from

00:08:39.960 their kids. They never told their kids, obviously. And then they started breaking in. So it's like,

00:08:46.180 the sins of the father, so to speak, right? They fall on the kids. And then these dreams,

00:08:53.140 which we're all terrified of, everybody in here has had a dream where you're falling or you're

00:08:57.660 trying to fight and you can't move and you can't run away. And somebody slowly,

00:09:03.940 this takes it from your dream to this. This is saying, if your dreams get too scary,

00:09:09.760 If your dreams get too real, maybe they are, right?

00:09:15.500 And then there's also that psychological, I've heard this time and time again.

00:09:18.840 I don't know if it's true, but time and time again, that if sometimes when you're falling

00:09:22.480 in your dream, you always wake up before you hit the ground.

00:09:25.900 But if you actually hit the ground, you can actually die in real life.

00:09:30.240 Have you guys ever heard that?

00:09:31.640 So that idea that you can actually hit the ground in your dream and your brain causes

00:09:39.600 whatever your brain causes for you to die in real life. Well, that's messed up.

00:09:47.660 That's messed up. And I think this is also talking and speaking to the power of your brain,

00:09:52.980 because you remember, not to ruin the story that came out 50 years ago, but the way they beat him

00:09:58.960 is they're not afraid of him. You guys remember that? The way they win is by not giving him

00:10:06.680 power and understanding that they're the ones in control of their dreams, therefore of their

00:10:12.140 head. So it's this very cool lesson about the power of your brain, how to control and manipulate

00:10:18.360 the world around you. What goes on in your brain matters most, and you have control over that.

00:10:25.620 That's kind of like the bottom line, right, of this. Now there's like 37 of them. One of my

00:10:32.640 favorite sort of side movies has to be, um, Freddie versus Jason. Look, Camp Crystal Lake

00:10:39.740 versus, come on now. It's amazing. All right. What else are we going to do? Oh, I have Freddie

00:10:45.480 versus Jason right here. I didn't include, um, Camp Crystal Lake, but Friday the 13th is a great

00:10:51.940 one. I could go get that in a second, but I have Freddie versus Jason right here. The reason why

00:10:56.920 love freddie versus jason is you decide and i can talk about freddie because the i mean i can

00:11:02.840 talk about jason because what makes jason great as a bad guy well first of all in the first movie

00:11:08.920 he's not the bad guy i will talk about that but what makes jason like freddie versus jason

00:11:15.480 interesting is you choose a good guy you choose jason to be the good guy jason is the good guy

00:11:24.120 in comparison because jason's the kid that was ignored jason's the kid that was that drowned

00:11:29.720 when those counselors weren't paying attention to him he was a victim of circumstance right

00:11:37.720 come on now right this this idea that you pick horror movie like friday the 13th horror movie

00:11:47.640 versus horror movie character and you start to pick who you want to win it's amazing

00:11:54.040 absolutely amazing all right next a little little off it's not super scary but i loved it and it

00:12:03.620 was scary in its own way you guys seen this movie house house was with um uh william katt george

00:12:13.000 Wentz, Richard Mole, Kayla. Look, greatest American hero. Can you see that in the back there?

00:12:19.460 That's all I can remember. Greatest American hero. And it's about a haunted house. And they're

00:12:24.780 living in this house and there's comedic aspects to it, but they're living in the house and they

00:12:30.780 sort of get trapped in this narrative and they can't get out, right? They can't get out of the

00:12:36.780 house. They can't, they can't fight what's going on in the house. They feel like they need, in

00:12:42.340 order to take their house back, they got to kind of go into this other dimension and take it over.

00:12:46.860 House is, what year did it come out in? I want to say the 80s. But, but, but, but, but, but, but,

00:12:54.720 what year? I can't find a year on this. I'm going to need my glasses. I'm going to say the 80s.

00:13:01.900 Please go look it up. Great movie. Great, great, great movie. Reminds me of my childhood.

00:13:07.820 Another movie kind of reminds me of my childhood, one of my favorites, and this is like cult classic

00:13:15.640 favorite, Urban Legend. So Urban Legend is a movie where the killer kills people via Urban

00:13:25.440 Legends, right? Every scary campfire story you've ever been told, this particular killer uses them

00:13:33.180 to kill off all of their victims.

00:13:36.580 Now, you want to know the real reason I like Urban Legend? 1.00

00:13:41.140 Pause. Take a guess. Put the guess in the comment.

00:13:45.960 Go put the guess. Pause it. Go put a guess in the comment.

00:13:49.260 The real reason I liked this movie is because I think this was one of the first movies,

00:13:57.420 if not the first movie and again spoiler alert for something that was released you know 30 years ago

00:14:06.700 the serial killer was a girl if you haven't seen it you got it jordan if you haven't seen it you

00:14:13.980 gotta go see it but i'm sorry i have look you don't know which one you don't know which girl

00:14:20.460 but it's a girl they flip the narrative onto its side because remember who survives horror movies

00:14:30.020 right and this way it was completely flipped on its end and i loved it and i loved all the urban

00:14:36.500 legends to be honest all of the stories all of the you know campfire tributes those were all

00:14:44.440 pulled up and talked about and then replayed. Highly good movie. Next we have, oh, old school

00:14:52.920 favorite. Are you ready? Are you ready? Pet Sematary. Listen, sometimes things don't come back

00:15:02.040 the same. Isn't that the quote? God, I'm misquoting now. You remember Cage? Mommy,

00:15:10.080 I want to play and he chased her down cut the Achilles come on now this is an

00:15:17.520 amazing movie about bringing things obviously back to life but understanding

00:15:25.060 you're never gonna bring them back right and if we could play with these kind of

00:15:30.120 forces why we shouldn't be playing with these kind of forces right so first they

00:15:37.180 try it with their cat doesn't play well but then in one of the most traumatic scenes ever

00:15:44.340 involving a mack truck and cage gauge gauge not cage gauge they try to bring back their kid

00:15:55.880 oh it's a great one if you've never seen it and in my opinion still holds up today

00:16:04.000 Because it doesn't rely so heavily on, you know, special effects or anything like that.

00:16:10.800 It relies on just the notion, the notion of, and the supreme acting, coming from everybody

00:16:20.560 in this movie, of what you would do, what you would be willing to do if something this

00:16:27.220 horrific happened, right?

00:16:30.780 Great movie.

00:16:31.740 Oh, I don't know which one to do next. Okay. I'm going to do, I'm going to do this one next

00:16:37.400 because it's the, one of the original movies. When I, when I give my top 10 and I give my top

00:16:43.520 five screams, always in it. Scream is brilliant. And what scream is brilliant about is making fun

00:16:50.040 of all the rules of horror movies, putting them out there, breaking them, trashing them,

00:16:55.840 throwing them out the window playing and drawing in on every famous horror movie

00:17:03.600 so to love scream you got to be a horror movie fan or you're not getting three quarters of the jokes

00:17:08.240 and to love scream you gotta love the fact they're putting all the tropes on the table

00:17:14.000 who survives a horror movie who gets it first and sometimes they run with them and sometimes

00:17:18.800 they blow them up but nonetheless scream the the series of scream is simply amazing and how dare

00:17:29.440 the studio not pay nev campbell eight billion dollars whatever she wanted to get to be a number

00:17:37.120 six how dare you sir it's offensive the movie even though some people might have liked it not even

00:17:45.200 close are you kidding me are you kidding me i want scream seven and i want nev campbell back 0.87

00:17:53.200 and i want you to erase scream six as this as this brain aneurysm you once had and we're not 0.58

00:17:59.760 even going to count it as a actual movie that's what i want all right so scream

00:18:07.760 uh a next one that i really really loved it's also a play on all of these

00:18:13.120 kind of urban legends, kind of horror movie tropes, but also a play on why they get created.

00:18:24.480 Somebody's controlling these ideas and manipulating it, and it is Cabin in the Woods.

00:18:31.420 Listen, if you've seen Cabin in the Woods, it is fun from all sides. So you have this cabin where

00:18:39.580 they they get a bunch of kids to go to and then you have this group of people for uh their own

00:18:46.620 agenda manipulating making bets on which monster is going to kill them which one's going to be the

00:18:53.200 monster how they're going to change the environment to make characters do certain things guys it's

00:18:59.700 like it's like if you had people running gods like you had the the you know you have god trying to

00:19:07.720 make nice things and the devil over here making home. And the gods are trying to make all of the

00:19:12.840 most horrible things happen to these characters to push them to the end of the sacrifice that

00:19:22.020 needs to happen at the end of the movie for the world to keep turning. I also love the cultural

00:19:26.800 underpinnings of the fact that horrible things must happen in order for the world to be saved.

00:19:32.220 think about that think about that horrible things must happen people must be sacrificed

00:19:40.940 in order for the world to keep spinning that's the plot point of cabin in the woods

00:19:49.660 that's political that's economic that's social that's cultural

00:19:56.700 i don't think enough analysis has gone into this movie because i really do think it has

00:20:00.460 great applications. Next one. I'm going to do two more. I'm just going to do two more. All right.

00:20:10.280 This one, somebody suggested I watch this movie and I thought it was the most ridiculous thing 0.97

00:20:15.440 I'd ever heard of. And then I watched it and I realized that I had to cover my eyes, 0.66

00:20:20.820 cover my eyes at least four times. Are you ready? I don't know if you can guess what it is. Pause

00:20:27.120 it, try to guess what it is. Try. I promise I'm going to do a part two. So we're just going to

00:20:32.980 do two more movies tonight, but I promise I'm going to do a horror movie part two,

00:20:36.000 because there's still a long list that I need to talk about. I had to close my eyes.

00:20:44.380 Frozen. And not the one with the sisters that love each other. Frozen is terrifying. Here's why.

00:20:54.320 so what happens is three kids get caught on a chairlift going up the mountain and then 1.00

00:21:01.820 everything shuts down because the stupid buggers don't listen to rationality everything shuts down 1.00

00:21:06.820 and they go home for the weekend and they're stuck on this chairlift and they're going to 1.00

00:21:12.940 be stuck there for the weekend so initially it looks terrifying it looks scary they fall asleep

00:21:18.760 they guys there was a scene so they fall asleep and they fall asleep with their head against the

00:21:24.580 bar right and when they wake up in the morning they have to rip their head off of the bar

00:21:32.680 that's not the worst part of this movie you want to know the worst part of this movie is

00:21:37.720 at some point one of them decides it's a good idea to jump

00:21:45.320 it was at that moment i realized i shouldn't be watching this movie anymore but i kept

00:21:53.380 watching it at that moment they decide to jump well when you're wearing ski boats

00:22:02.400 and you jump i don't know it maybe 30 feet i don't know 20 feet i'll tell you what happened guys

00:22:13.240 I'll tell you what happened.

00:22:15.580 Their shins, right at the boot line.

00:22:20.120 That's all I'm going to happen, but I'm telling you right now, it gets worse. 0.84

00:22:24.240 It gets worse than that.

00:22:27.900 I'm having flashbacks right now.

00:22:31.460 It gets worse.

00:22:34.020 But who jumps out of, what kind, a lot of the times you spend,

00:22:38.280 I sometimes think people like watching horror movies

00:22:40.540 because they like to feel superior to the person actually in the movie because we spent a lot of

00:22:43.980 time going, why would you do that? Don't run upstairs. Run out the front door. Call the

00:22:49.600 police. Don't jump out of the chairlift, you moron. Why are you such a... Listen, I think we 1.00

00:22:57.540 like to feel superior. And the best horror movies were people in the audience shouting that kind of

00:23:03.240 stuff at them. It makes me happy. Go check out Frozen. I don't know where you can stream

00:23:10.440 many of these, because I have them all on DVD. Want to know a scary movie? I'll tell you a scary

00:23:15.700 movie. The 8 billion DVDs that I bought, and I have thousands of dollars over there, and I never

00:23:21.900 watch them this way anymore. That's a real scary movie. All right, my final one. Final one for

00:23:26.780 today. But if you guys love this, I'll do a whole other rundown. I have 10 other movies ready to go,

00:23:32.340 horror movies ready to go, walking into Halloween season. So if you like it, comment, tell me you

00:23:38.240 like it, tell me what movie you want me to review or you want me to talk about. Maybe it's a movie

00:23:42.120 that I haven't seen before, even though I've seen, you know, quite a few. I'm going to try to watch

00:23:47.040 a whole bunch of new ones. So I'm going to do a preview, I mean, sorry, a review of 10 more that

00:23:52.660 I've seen. And then I'm going to try to watch more horror ones and talk about them. But it's hard to

00:23:56.820 talk about a horror movie when they're new because you don't want to make people, you don't want to

00:23:59.940 give spoilers, right? And I can't talk about, when I can't talk about things like they jumped out of

00:24:04.220 the thing and cracked their legs. If you can't, this one, if you haven't seen it, I don't know

00:24:07.640 tell you i think it came out in 1960 1960 something this is one of my favorite movies of

00:24:13.560 all time and nobody ever talks about it i don't know the year guys you know what else is a horror

00:24:21.160 movie the fact that i can't read anything anymore 1958 the blob look the blob is incredible

00:24:33.480 and it's incredible for a number of reasons number one the blob is simply all it is is that

00:24:41.780 gack you know that stuff you get out of a vending machine and you open it and it's like that goo

00:24:45.920 stuff that you can stretch it and you can roll it and as soon as you drop it it's ruined because

00:24:49.460 it's picked up all the dirt that stuff some science classes I think actually make it the blob

00:24:56.300 is that so it's in a meteor it's alien it crashes on earth it cracks open and

00:25:03.020 then it gradually rolls on the ground guys I can't even tell you how

00:25:07.120 ridiculous it is of how slowly it rolls but as it rolls it eats stuff and gets

00:25:14.720 bigger whatever it eats a rock a stick a person's head so the beginning of the 0.93

00:25:21.680 thing you notice somebody poke it with a stick and they poke it with a stick and as they poke

00:25:30.000 it with a stick it gets attached to the stick and then crawls up the stick and eventually is

00:25:35.600 on the guy's arm eats them all gets bigger now i don't i don't want to be i don't want to tell

00:25:45.360 you how it ends because a lot of people haven't seen it it's that old if you haven't seen it i

00:25:51.280 really want you to watch it let me just say it gets big it gets really big and i will say this

00:26:02.160 the way that they kill it that idea was stolen in terminator 2 that's all i'm gonna say

00:26:14.240 it was stolen in terminator 2 well a part of it in terminator 2.

00:26:17.760 you're gonna have to watch it the blob amazing fantastic 1958 just freaking brilliant it's a

00:26:29.760 cult classic is what it is but i love it i love it because again horror movies have picked on

00:26:36.860 this forever this notion that it is slow moving that it really has no mind of its own no conscience

00:26:45.340 of its own other than destruction and to feed its own basic needs, right? Whatever that happens to

00:26:53.240 be. And no matter how hard you run, you will fall. Eventually, this slow moving clump of goo

00:27:01.620 will catch up to you because you can't run forever. And when you're trying to run from

00:27:08.120 something like this, you stop thinking, which I also think is sort of the baseline of a lot of

00:27:14.320 horror movies. This notion that when we are in fear, when we are, you know, terrified, you have

00:27:21.640 fight or flight, you don't have a lot of rationality, no matter how slow the object seems to

00:27:28.580 be moving. And I think that as this underpinning, this underpinning that fear makes us stupid, 0.99

00:27:36.500 i think has incredible applications in education in economics in politics fear makes us stupid 1.00

00:27:49.880 and on that note maybe my next week should be about how many people voted for donald trump 0.93

00:27:56.960 no that's too scary all right guys thanks for hanging out with me whatever movie you want me

00:28:03.280 a review, throw it in the comments. Make sure you make your guesses about all of the things that I

00:28:09.400 said today. And I will do, if you want me to, if you comment, if you so are inclined, I'll do

00:28:16.060 another 10 movies next week, rolling into the month of Halloween, because I do love a horror

00:28:22.600 movie. Thank you so much for hanging out. I will see you next time. Same bat time, same bat station.

00:28:29.440 Dismissed. 1.00

Unlearn16: Class is in Session - September 19, 2023

The One Where I Ran Up The Stairs When I Should Have Run Out The Door

Episode Stats

Transcript