Vulgar History - International, part 12： The Drama Queen of England (Who Was Married To A Gay Man)

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00:00:56.240 hello and welcome to vulgar history a feminist women's history comedy podcast

00:01:19.900 my name is ann foster and this is vulgar history international this is our season

00:01:25.080 where we're looking at, well, basically as many countries as I can get to before the season is

00:01:31.880 over. I'm trying to eventually get an episode per country where each and every member of the

00:01:38.000 Tits Out Brigade is living, and that is going to be probably a multi-year plan, but, you know,

00:01:42.820 I'm down for it. Today we're going to have some overlap with, okay, so the Internationale thing

00:01:49.620 was partially because i have done so many episodes about england basically slash the united kingdom

00:01:58.220 slash that land mass uh in past seasons and i know that there's there's tits out brigade colon uk 0.97

00:02:05.660 um and love you guys love that you're listening and slash also tits out brigade ireland shout out 0.95

00:02:14.600 to you as well and anyway this story basically what i'm trying to do is to like quasi apologize

00:02:21.140 for the fact that we're gonna land wind up in scotland and england but on the way we're gonna

00:02:27.100 also go to denmark and we're going to norway so we're getting into some of these scandinavian

00:02:32.300 regions and that with that in mind i wanted to thank two members of the titswood brigade who

00:02:37.480 helped me with some pronunciation because the woman we're talking about is anna of denmark

00:02:43.100 her name looks like my name but with an e at the end but because it's danish it's pronounced

00:02:48.020 differently so thank you to ida and also thank you to well titswood brigade member delaney's

00:02:55.020 fiance who is danish who both sent me audio recordings of how to pronounce this name as

00:03:00.580 well as the name of her brother christian so i'm gonna do my best danish pronunciation for that so

00:03:07.760 it's anna so like my name but with na at the end of denmark is who we're looking at today and this

00:03:15.820 is another story like we've had some before and it's always really baffling to me to find somebody

00:03:21.860 where okay so my references like first of all wikipedia.com thank you wikipedia for having a

00:03:27.700 fairly comprehensive article on her super helpful but even on wikipedia they're saying like you know 1.00

00:03:33.100 she has this bad reputation people thought that she was unintelligent that she was vapid and shallow

00:03:38.580 but you know she wasn't really and I'm like okay well no one told me she was to be in with so I'm

00:03:45.140 jumping in assuming she is not like that but so there's a lot of defensiveness in the readings

00:03:50.960 that you do about I also looked at there's an article on historyextra.com by Tracy Borman

00:03:55.980 who also explains you know and Anna of Denmark gets this bad reputation but is it deserved you

00:04:01.680 know actually she was pretty smart i'm like why is everyone keep saying that she has this bad

00:04:05.840 reputation that people think that she was so unintelligent uh there's a book called scottish

00:04:12.100 queens 1034 to 1714 by rosalind k marshall which gets into some more details about her as well

00:04:18.280 and ultimately what i am going to assume um given that there's not that much written about

00:04:26.320 Anna of Denmark is partially because so her era it's like just after the Tudor era and I talked

00:04:34.800 about this in the episode where I interviewed Lucy Jago about her excellent book Annette for

00:04:39.360 Small Fishes where Tudor England is so popular and it's so talked about and it's so sort of

00:04:46.840 familiar to fans of history in the same way that like um I don't know I'm trying to think like

00:04:52.920 like germany in world war ii or like um i don't know victorian london like these are just settings

00:04:59.820 where so much stuff has been set there there's been so much work done on the history of these

00:05:04.900 eras that you can really assume a shorthand that whoever's reading or listening kind of knows the

00:05:10.540 deal already so you can really just jump right to the story which is what i'm able to do in this

00:05:15.740 week's episode a little bit versus when you're looking at like we did so far this season you

00:05:20.520 know like ninth century cashmere it's like okay I'm gonna need to like explain some stuff before

00:05:26.780 we can get to this story so the Tudor era is so talked about the Henry VIII thing I talked about

00:05:33.800 in the Q&A episode it was a main a big um entry point for me just in getting interested in history

00:05:39.360 and women's history I asked a question in my Instagram stories just after that podcast episode

00:05:44.300 came out the Q&A and just asking what people's what was their entree what got them interested

00:05:49.700 in history it was a poll so of the options there was four options and the wives of henna the eighth

00:05:54.840 got something like something like 50 like it's a common entry point for people the tudor era so

00:06:02.940 well known and all and i'm leading to the point that like anna sorry anna of denmark came right

00:06:11.260 after like she was married to james who is the man who became king after elizabeth the first so

00:06:17.160 like literally the beginning of the stewart period so that period is not as discussed

00:06:23.680 as the tudor era and then james himself really um sort of overwhelms the period just because he

00:06:31.480 was such uh overwhelming presence so this is we're talking about anna we're not talking about james

00:06:39.880 if you want to know about james i did a whole so this asshole episode about him on the patreon

00:06:44.340 you can join that at patreon.com and foster writer he was a nightmare person so just to

00:06:50.460 so we're on the same page i was thinking i might tell this story and then be like surprise this is

00:06:56.120 who she married but it's like no like let's just all start here from a common understanding of

00:07:00.980 james the first being a nightmare chaotic person so who is this guy he's the son of mary queen of

00:07:11.280 scots his father was lord darnley who is the worst person i've ever read about in um british

00:07:21.040 history so and he took entirely after his father clearly because james is like the second worst

00:07:27.300 person so some of his greatest hits you might be familiar with uh so he was very paranoid he is

00:07:34.860 very misogynistic and he was really into witch hunting and then once he hunted the witches

00:07:41.180 burning those women so he let me just see i wrote a whole article about this i'll put a link to it

00:07:48.460 um it was in the late lamented bitch magazine i wrote some historical articles for them i wrote 0.97

00:07:53.140 an article about uh the comparing james the first cis witch burning with uh the actions of

00:08:00.900 evangelical christians in contemporary united states so no country accused or executed as

00:08:07.000 many people for witchcraft as scotland did during the reign of james where as many as 4 000 people

00:08:12.080 were killed more than twice as many as in the larger and more populous england so what was

00:08:18.200 his deal highly superstitious paranoid and misogynistic james saw witches as threats to

00:08:23.160 his personal safety he wrote books like one called demonology so it was the sort of thing where it's

00:08:31.420 like how today bull i don't know like fox news hosts or whatever publish a book and because they

00:08:37.680 do then those ideas have become more widespread because of who wrote it so accusations and

00:08:44.340 executions increased exponentially following the publication of this book because it's like oh my

00:08:48.820 god the king wrote a book it's like well we should pay attention to this it also incited mob violence

00:08:54.160 against suspected witches um his personal misogyny really colored who was accused of being a witch

00:09:02.360 women comprised 80 to 90 percent of accused witches in scotland of the women accused during

00:09:08.660 his reign disproportionate amount were poor widowed elderly or all three um he also is known

00:09:17.460 for if you might have heard of the King James Bible it's a Bible popularly used by lots of

00:09:24.120 Christian denominations in the today and he is the King James of the King James Bible

00:09:30.320 so he was really into um taking this text that was written not in English and really applying

00:09:39.240 it specifically to his current context so he ensured all references to witchcraft in the Bible

00:09:44.480 which were not gendered in i guess the original hebrew i'm not sure what language the bible was

00:09:50.620 first written in aramaic anyway he made sure all references to witchcraft got female coded so

00:09:56.780 creating this connection between female gender and witchcraft specifically um he explained in

00:10:03.340 his book not the bible demonology witches were not born evil but became evil through satanic

00:10:10.080 temptation and men sometimes this happened to them but women were so much weaker of course this is

00:10:15.560 going to happen to them more often there's the famous phrase from this bible the king james bible

00:10:21.420 thou shalt not suffer a witch to live which actually he invented that was not in the bible

00:10:26.360 until he wrote the king james bible the word witch in that phrase like what he translated it from the

00:10:33.280 original word was the hebrew word kashaf which in context means someone who uses herbs in a

00:10:40.300 negative manner such as a poisoner anyways the original hebrew phrase also can be translated

00:10:48.800 to indicate penance is all that is required to atone for being a kashaf but james was like 0.92

00:10:55.980 i'm gonna call this witchcraft i'm gonna say that you have to be killed if you do it so 0.92

00:11:00.820 other stuff he did james um who is called james the sixth and first because he was james the 0.86

00:11:09.400 sixth of scotland and then later he became james the first of england so he's kind of both

00:11:13.660 so he also it was under his reign that england began colonizing north america maybe you've heard

00:11:19.560 of jamestown he's the james from that he also you might remember from the tits of francis howard

00:11:26.600 episode he was the king who was having the affair with Francis Howard's lover Robert Carr um and

00:11:34.920 then eventually he kind of like covered he so that he wouldn't be implicated in this like love 0.92

00:11:39.780 quadrangle that was all men and also tits with Francis Howard then he had them sent to jail 0.97

00:11:45.040 etc so he had terrible taste in boyfriends probably a gay man he clearly preferred 0.99

00:11:53.200 hanging out with men much more than women but that and or he's just like wildly misogynistic 0.95

00:12:00.640 um he was horrible with money qualitatively i think objectively we can all agree he was a

00:12:06.440 nightmare disaster as a person and that is the husband of anna of denmark so the reason

00:12:14.540 as far as i can ascertain why anna has this reputation of being sort of like vapid and

00:12:22.760 like uninteresting and unintelligent is because james said that so it's like i'm sorry are we

00:12:27.840 taking his judgment of literally anyone let alone a woman so right away i'm just like okay let's just

00:12:38.280 kind of begin from the beginning what's her deal and who is she outside of her relationship with

00:12:44.880 this nightmare historical disastrous person well i'll tell you anna was born on december 12 1574

00:12:55.860 in denmark she was the second daughter of king frederick the second and his wife sophie of

00:13:02.600 mecklenburg gustro so she was the second daughter so i'm sure there was this thing where they're

00:13:10.160 like oh no it's not a son but like don't worry about it they have a son later everything's okay

00:13:13.800 so her older sister was called elizabeth and so for the first few years of their lives they were

00:13:20.500 sent away to be raised by their maternal grandparents in gustro which is in kind of

00:13:26.200 modern day germany which was i wrote here maybe for the best so their parents frederick and sophie

00:13:33.360 oversaw a royal court known for overall debauchery with just like food and sex and wine everywhere

00:13:39.820 all the time whereas the grandparents were well everybody was lutheran that's like the flavor of

00:13:46.440 protestant that was happening in denmark in and surrounding regions at this time the grandparents

00:13:52.900 were more stable and frugal perhaps better role models for the girls that being said like nothing

00:14:00.280 wrong with being a decadent debaucherous royal court i'm all in favor of it and their mother 0.93

00:14:05.720 visited often her name was sophie and she was much closer to her parents than was usually the case

00:14:11.680 back then and she was determined to nurture a similar bond between herself and her own children

00:14:16.620 which she did so this included breastfeeding her own children rather than using a wet nurse which

00:14:22.660 was really confusing to everybody at the time because that was just not what was done but 0.97

00:14:27.260 sophie's like literal tits out breastfeeding style so good for her so yeah so then the son 0.92

00:14:36.820 was born a name that is pronounced as my danish consultants have both said with a very guttural 0.96

00:14:42.740 almost like cling on type thing so i'm going to pronounce it as best i can i'm going to step

00:14:48.640 back from the microphone slightly and say christian is the brother who's born christian

00:14:55.840 so he was born two years later and everyone's like yay prince you know there'll be an heir

00:15:01.700 nothing abusing so he was sent to join his sisters in gustro and then when they were when ann was

00:15:08.020 five years old all three children were returned to their parents court in denmark i think because

00:15:13.200 sophie just like wanted her kids around her and like because this is you know scandalous in that

00:15:19.600 way everyone's just like what a mother who wants to be with her children like what is happening 0.97

00:15:23.920 she had two more sons and two more daughters Sophie was an affectionate mother and cared

00:15:29.400 for them all very lovingly it was a very I have to say we don't often see a family unit like this

00:15:36.220 on this podcast and good for you Sophie so in general so Friedrich is the king of Denmark

00:15:44.040 and it was sort of it was like a happening place Denmark doing well in the like international

00:15:52.420 trading ways or whatever so they have these daughters and so princess and kings from all

00:15:58.620 over wanted to get to marry Anna and or Elizabeth or the younger ones so the national religion was

00:16:06.420 Lutheran as I said and so they would only consider potential husbands from countries who also were

00:16:14.780 like under the umbrella of like Protestantism e.g. not Catholic people so that you know

00:16:21.740 helpfully limited how many options there were by far the best option they were facing was james

00:16:28.500 who at this point this is pre a lot of his nightmare behavior but frankly mid some of his

00:16:34.900 other nightmare behavior so he was unmarried he was a king of scotland and he was a good option

00:16:40.900 for political reasons but also i mean notably he was only eight years older than anna

00:16:47.620 which was a much smaller age gap than the 24 year age difference between Sophie and

00:16:54.120 Frederick her parents so at this time oh I didn't talk about who was around when just a sec I want

00:17:02.540 to tell you two places amidst the other vulgar history people I have this increasingly long

00:17:11.780 like spreadsheet document of like who lived when and who died when so she's got very similar

00:17:18.580 time period to a couple other people let me just see she is yeah so very similar so she was born

00:17:27.040 in 1574 Arbella Stewart born in 1575 so they were very much contemporary so if you remember

00:17:34.160 Arbella Stewart's from the Trapton Towers season she was potentially gonna be inherit from Elizabeth

00:17:41.360 the first so like this is all that same era this is also around the same time so 10 years after the

00:17:47.180 birth of kit marlowe so she's around during some like good plays being written and stanley if you

00:17:53.840 remember her from the jane gray season was born 1580 so also remember her like the whole thing

00:17:59.560 with ferdinando so these people are all around at the same time where it's like who's going to

00:18:03.880 inherit from queen elizabeth the first and the person who does inherit is anna's husband james

00:18:08.500 uh francis howard born 1590 so she's 15 years younger than anna which tracks because there's

00:18:18.660 going to be a little crossover moment with our tits out icon but she that's like later in anna's

00:18:24.820 life where they cross paths so anna is like i don't know 12 years old and this is around the

00:18:30.540 same time the mary queen of scots had just been executed for treason so james was kind of like

00:18:35.460 under a lot of pressure to get married and just sort of like help everyone like i think the same

00:18:41.880 way as now it's like you know if something is going on in the life of a celebrity or a royal

00:18:46.640 person it's like guess who's having a baby or a wedding and then everyone sort of forgets about

00:18:51.780 the scandal anyway so they're like can you get married you're 23 years old he wasn't interested

00:18:58.980 in women except hating them but he knew that he had to marry a woman to have babies and heirs

00:19:06.360 and also partially largely because having a wife and having children would make him more appealing

00:19:13.100 as a potential heir to elizabeth the first who was again i'm sort of like going back and forth

00:19:17.280 in time but she was still alive at this point and he wanted to suck up to her so he could be the king

00:19:23.240 after her and a way to do that was to be like look at me i'm like a family man like how um 0.61

00:19:28.080 politicians today really emphasize the fact that they like have wives and children like that makes

00:19:34.260 anybody a better person like it does not and he's like okay so there's Anna there's Elizabeth

00:19:41.000 which one should I marry I don't know Ella his um kind of predecessor Henry VIII he's like well

00:19:50.380 let's send some portraits like happened with Anna of Cleves because that went so well oh that goes

00:19:56.440 better here debatably so portraits of Anna and Elizabeth were sent to him bear in mind Anna was

00:20:04.840 14 I think Elizabeth is like 16 James 23 but that's what's going on and frankly the two sisters

00:20:13.060 look a lot the same Anna like her mother had a long nose there's portraits of her you can see

00:20:18.700 what she looks like she had blonde hair and she was very tall James also very tall because Mary

00:20:24.420 queen of scots six feet tall but we'll talk about her maybe in a later season anyway so apparently

00:20:31.300 james who was just like the most he uh he never does anything subtly everything is a huge production

00:20:39.640 for him so he took the portraits of both sisters into his bedroom and prayed and meditated for

00:20:44.800 three days after which time he emerged and said i don't know if it's like god or whatever but he's

00:20:50.500 like i choose anna he was at this point 23 anna 14 um then midway through the marriage negotiations

00:21:00.380 her father friedrich died so that means the new king is 11 year old christian and so the danish

00:21:10.060 counselors wanted sophie who is like frankly a little bit of the mvp of this episode they wanted

00:21:17.220 sophie the mom to go off and live in the countryside with the daughters while the men

00:21:21.180 helped rule for the for 11 year old christian but she was like i think not i love my kids and i want 0.99

00:21:28.380 to be close to my kids and she truly just did not give up she's like fuck you all i'm staying here 0.97

00:21:34.240 with my son and eventually they give in and they agreed she could remain in copenhagen to look 0.99

00:21:40.320 after her children slash to rule as regent sophie badass motherfucker we stan so with that all sorted 0.95

00:21:49.420 the question of anna and elizabeth's marriages could again be considered so well basically it's 0.97

00:21:55.920 like we know who each of them is going to pair up with so elizabeth was betrothed to a german duke

00:22:00.860 and so anna was betrothed to king james of scots there's going to be a lot of fashion moments i

00:22:10.000 can't wait there's like one in particular fashion moment that i think i'm gonna propose when we get

00:22:15.000 to it might be like a trend that the tits of brigade could maybe bring back but we'll get to

00:22:21.020 that so um 500 tailors and embroiderers said about working on the gowns that would comprise

00:22:28.680 anna's trousseau she herself worked at stitching shirts for her husband which was kind of like

00:22:34.200 what one did she was also excited about it um she and James exchanged letters and he was just like

00:22:42.700 he'd never really had experience romantically with women but he had like read a lot of books

00:22:47.380 so he's just like I'm gonna be a hero like in the classics and she's 14 and she's just like

00:22:53.200 I'm gonna go be queen I don't know they're both like psyched about it like it's cute it's good

00:22:58.500 um Anna could speak German and Danish and she went on a crash course to learn French

00:23:04.440 so that she and James would be able to speak without needing an interpreter because the

00:23:08.840 languages he was fluent in were French um Latin and Scots which is a language I double checked

00:23:17.600 that today so there was some discussion or some debate like if if the people who speak Scots say

00:23:23.220 it's a language it is like end of story but like there's some discussion like is it like

00:23:27.220 a dialect of english or whatever but it's like enough different from english that it's like its

00:23:33.100 own language anyway she didn't speak scots or latin the other languages james was fluent in

00:23:37.660 so they both they communicated in french yeah so james was like as a wedding present he like gave

00:23:44.580 her a castle we're going to talk about that later he oversaw renovations of this castle for her

00:23:49.120 despite not having enough money to do so which will be a trend for frankly both of them they

00:23:54.400 were both educated a lot but not in financial literacy uh let's see this was all happening

00:24:01.140 via intermediaries like the letters were between the two of them but like all the communication

00:24:06.400 and planning were through intermediaries and then the wedding itself in fact the betrothal

00:24:12.020 ceremony because i do a wedding later was all done via intermediaries as well so there's a proxy

00:24:18.280 marriage so a guy who was not james came from scotland to denmark and this guy placed the

00:24:26.140 betrothal ring on ann's hand gave her jewels worth 12 600 pounds and then married her by proxy

00:24:33.320 like he was there where he's just like it's like a picture he's just like holding up an ipad with

00:24:40.680 james's face on it sort of thing where he's just like i'm just here representing him and then they

00:24:45.160 had a proxy consummation which was just this guy and anna uh fully clothed just laid down on a bed

00:24:54.480 and they're like okay it's good proxy that's like consummation i guess and then 10 days later the

00:25:02.040 young bride again 14 years old set sail for scotland so she had a fleet of 16 ships which

00:25:09.460 contained her like she both of them okay i mean like as you may be able to guess she and james

00:25:16.040 do not have the greatest marriage what they have in common is a love of just being the most so

00:25:21.700 her 16 ships contained her furniture clothes horses and a carriage made of solid silver 0.93

00:25:29.520 time to go meet her gay husband and start her new life as queen of scots but then a storm happened 0.62

00:25:36.200 and the ship sprang a leak um some of the fleet like sank the what it was like stormy seas

00:25:43.020 like days on the stormy seas um and they were forced to take shelter in the norwegian sound

00:25:48.780 weak from seasickness as anyone would be i think after days on the stormy seas

00:25:54.400 anna was escorted to oslo comma norway and no one seemed to know what to do next they're just kind

00:26:01.900 of like what's up oslo like we were going to scotland and now we're here eventually they were

00:26:08.520 like i guess we'll just like go back to denmark try again later but then breaking news james had

00:26:15.840 12 ships ready in scotland to greet her when she arrived with her squad but then only six of her

00:26:21.380 ships arrived remember she had 16 10 of them like either like ran aground or sank so james was

00:26:27.980 very superstitious and also obsessed with witchcraft ordered that everyone in scotland

00:26:33.720 should fast and pray for her safekeeping because he's just like oh my god she's not here it must

00:26:38.600 be witches so he sent out a search party just to try to figure out where she had gone this was

00:26:44.520 because he just lived for drama but also because based on their french letters he had decided he

00:26:50.340 was passionately in love with her because he saw himself as the hero of these like classic books

00:26:55.560 he had read like he wrote songs about how worried he was and began obsessing about all the bad

00:27:01.940 omens he felt he should have taken more seriously when one of his own ships had set out to greet

00:27:06.180 ann like or what he thought was going to be her but it was just these six ships a cannon had

00:27:10.680 exploded and killed some sailors i mean frankly that's a pretty bad omen the boat of one of 0.90

00:27:15.700 anna's ladies-in-waiting had sunk on its way to the port so like the scottish people had sent

00:27:21.640 the ladies-in-waiting out and then that ship had sunk um 40 of its passengers had died i have to

00:27:26.960 say these are i'm like a medium superstitious person and i know that this marriage is gonna

00:27:32.500 be bad so i'm just like yeah these are like screaming red flags of like maybe don't marry

00:27:36.780 this 14 year old anyway it was now winter and it was way too dangerous to cross until spring

00:27:43.440 because again we're going from scotland to denmark by way of norway which is just like

00:27:51.640 in terms of winter weather like damn cold so but james was just like nothing can keep me from my

00:27:58.120 beloved and like literally every member of his council was like please don't do this you're the 0.51

00:28:03.760 king like if and when you die which you will who's going to be the king after you like there's going

00:28:09.300 be like a succession crisis etc and he's just like i'm gonna go get my queen and they can stop

00:28:15.060 him because he's the king so he set out with 300 people to go and pick her up himself one of his

00:28:19.820 reasons was that his grandfather james v had gone abroad to fetch his bride but i have to say not

00:28:26.720 from oslo and not in the winter he promised to be home in 20 days like how can you guess that james

00:28:34.400 um he also faced bad weather obviously because it's winter but he made it to oslo and so he

00:28:40.860 disembarked i love how many clothing details are in this story so get ready so remember he was tall

00:28:47.720 he is like a shitty horrible person but also like very striking and good at dressing so he

00:28:54.540 disembarked wearing a red velvet coat sewn with gold stars beneath a black velvet cloak lined 0.98

00:29:01.200 with sable fur enna was waiting for him and he was so excited to see her he ran up so eager to

00:29:07.860 meet her he didn't take off his boots which is a detail that was noted in one of my sources and i

00:29:12.140 have to assume is notable so he leaned in to kiss her which is like the scots way and she pulled

00:29:18.680 back because like whoa like what is happening like this is not the danish way so but he explained in

00:29:25.300 french because that's the only language that they both could speak without an interpreter and he's

00:29:28.700 like no no this is just like in scotland this is how we greet each other and she's like okay that's

00:29:32.700 okay then and apparently they got along swimmingly the next day james arrived again in a new outfit

00:29:40.000 so dressed in blue velvet sewn with gold and the two of them spent the day together and during

00:29:45.140 this time apparently they decided that they should probably get married in oslo instead of waiting

00:29:50.200 until they could get back to scotland because they needed to get married and anna was like i

00:29:56.760 really don't want to go in like the winter seas of like northern europe thank you so they got

00:30:03.680 married in oslo november 23rd 1598 and james to help celebrate slash because james got james he

00:30:14.440 had 11 norwegian women burned as witches who he claimed were the ones who had caused the storms

00:30:22.380 that had almost kept him from his beloved so he thought this was the only way to fix the bad 0.59

00:30:27.880 weather so that their like return chip could be fine so again he burnt 11 norwegian women

00:30:33.560 as witches so this is just like again like in terms of red flags this would be another one

00:30:40.280 some other low-key drama but this is gonna be there's a lot of communion based drama in this

00:30:47.400 story so get ready as a refresher that's like in some religions it's where you go up and eat the

00:30:55.560 little round hosts the little bread in catholic religion it's like this is the body and blood of

00:31:02.340 christ and in protestant religions i believe it's technically not it's the transubstantiation of it

00:31:07.620 all anyway so remember anna is lutheran james is presbyterian and they were like he she was

00:31:16.100 given permission to keep being lutheran when she was there she didn't have to switch anyway

00:31:20.940 presbyterianism at least in this era that communion hosts were involved and she opted

00:31:26.200 not to take part in the communion because of lutheran reasons and everyone's like oh this

00:31:30.820 hmm this communion thing might come up again later and it does so just like bear that in mind

00:31:36.500 and then honeymoon between a 23 year old man and a 14 year old woman who only vaguely speak one

00:31:44.700 language to each other but who had been pen pals for a long time and were both sort of in love with

00:31:50.300 the idea of each other so because they weren't also they had kind of an impromptu scandinavian

00:31:57.100 region based honeymoon sophie best mom had invited them to come spend the winter with her

00:32:05.000 and so they set out aunt she sent sleighs for them and just like wait for the like disney's

00:32:10.580 frozen level gorgeousness of this so black velvet and gold embroidered horse-drawn sleighs

00:32:17.240 were sent to take them um so they went to denmark and you know anna loved her family so much i'm

00:32:25.400 sure it was like exciting to see them because she thought she was going to scotland and would never

00:32:28.420 see them again probably and in fact they were in town at the same time that they could attend her

00:32:33.600 sister elizabeth's wedding to duke henrik of brunswick and then in april they headed back to

00:32:41.000 scotland finally so anna revealed her own love of fashion and a big entrance like again this is like 0.98

00:32:48.680 vulgar history international slash vulgar history like amazing entrances by tits out women so her 1.00

00:32:56.480 official entrance into edinburgh was in if you remember from her ship that didn't sink the solid 1.00

00:33:01.680 silver coach she arrived and everyone's just like oh my god it's like a queen which is like exciting

00:33:08.080 for the scots people because the last time they had a queen was mary queen of scots who had spent

00:33:12.880 most of her life in jail so they were just like yay a young beautiful woman in a silver coach

00:33:20.120 this is like cinderella slash frozen fantasy there was a coronation which was seven hours long

00:33:28.320 and part of it included i think at james like insisted it's maybe like a thing that's not

00:33:34.860 always done but he was just like oh no this is going to be like the most so the traditional

00:33:40.000 anointing which is when anna's like blouse her like top dress area aka her kirtle was unfastened

00:33:50.680 and some sacred oil was poured onto her shoulder and right arm now the first thing i read about 1.00

00:33:56.280 this had hinted that this was literally a tits out moment where they just poured oil on her breast

00:34:03.040 but i believe it was just a shoulder and right arm situation bear in mind also she is literally 14 0.71

00:34:08.940 so i hope that's all it was so anyway they were married they're now king and queen of scots

00:34:15.280 um and it became clear pretty right away that they were fundamentally incompatible

00:34:21.060 as people not just the fact that he was 23 and she was 14 or that they could only communicate 0.53

00:34:28.080 in french but also james was a misogynist who hated women and also was gay anna was a girl 0.95

00:34:38.000 slash woman um he was obsessed with finding reasons to burn women as witches um she was 0.88

00:34:46.020 passionate about art and paintings um which he didn't care about paintings she loved formal 0.95

00:34:52.240 ceremonies and pageantry um but he liked things to be a bit more plain he was an extrovert she

00:34:58.240 was an introvert and she was also like 14 years old and like away from her family for the first

00:35:02.180 time and like really fucking lonely so she learned how to speak scots but that didn't help because

00:35:08.960 james mostly ignored her uh when she voiced an opinion which she was like a woman of like strong 1.00

00:35:15.560 convictions who would like speak her mind james was just like oh women are so annoying don't you 1.00

00:35:20.420 hate her they like are nagging all the time and then when they had a fight and she got mad he 0.99

00:35:24.440 would like leave and then bring someone else in to try and like calm her down because he had no

00:35:28.840 social skills so but the whole point of them being married was because well first to make

00:35:37.000 him look like a good heir to elizabeth but also so they would have children who would be like the

00:35:41.680 heirs to the scottish throne but the first two years of their marriage went by without any

00:35:46.920 children she did not become pregnant it's not like the dead babies that happened to other people but

00:35:52.020 also she's like 14 to 16 and in this era that was um people didn't start menstruating until around

00:35:59.900 then often for like nutrition-based reasons so she probably like was not capable of becoming pregnant

00:36:06.000 him which frankly good i don't want her aged 15 to be having babies um everyone was freaking out 0.65

00:36:14.100 about it which i'm sure made her more stressed which made it probably harder to conceive

00:36:17.600 and but then also people are trying to kidnap and betray them all the time it was like a real sort of

00:36:24.540 scheming hot spot so yeah one like literally people were like actively trying to kidnap them

00:36:31.860 constantly at one point one of Anna's ladies-in-waiting helped an attempted kidnapper escape

00:36:36.540 out the window and James wanted Anna to fire that lady-in-waiting for like helping a kidnapper and 0.99

00:36:42.300 she was like I would soon return to Denmark fuck you so they were just like screaming fighting 0.99

00:36:47.660 almost being kidnapped all the time who could she trust sort of thing she gave birth to their first 0.99

00:36:54.900 child henry frederick when she was 19 so five years after the oslo wedding and this is when

00:37:02.180 their relationship fundamentally fell apart in irretrievably because she wanted to keep henry

00:37:09.200 with her to raise him in the like loving way that her mother had raised her and her siblings

00:37:15.280 and james wanted him to be brought up in his own household apart from his parents which is like

00:37:19.960 scots way but also he was very paranoid rightfully about being murdered or kidnapped and he didn't

00:37:26.960 want him and his son to live in the same place for like security reasons which is the same reason why

00:37:32.140 the current british royal family they'll never fly with like the like more than one heir or like

00:37:38.540 the king or the queen in the airplane together in case the airplane crashes like you never

00:37:41.960 like prince charles and william would never be in an airplane and also george like because 0.99

00:37:48.380 just for risk reasons anyway Anna was like fuck you I want to be with my son she was like 19 0.99

00:37:55.200 lonely married to the worst person in the world and James was just like yeah I don't care so he 0.99

00:38:01.320 sent the baby to live with his friends Lord and Lady Mar who incidentally hated Anna and who Anna

00:38:07.680 hated back during this whole thing like it's not like the baby was born and taken away right away

00:38:12.660 but like she had given birth and then a bit later she became pregnant again the baby was like henry

00:38:19.720 was taken away and then she miscarried because of the stress of all of this james was like well you

00:38:24.200 can visit henry whenever you want but anna she tried that but she and lady mar hated each other

00:38:29.220 so much that she was just like i can't visit him in that house with these people who i hate

00:38:34.120 they eventually had two more children daughters elizabeth and margaret who james permitted them

00:38:41.980 to stay close to enna um and then two more sons charles and robert so they were all allowed to

00:38:47.100 live like closer but henry was kept away because he was the heir to the throne and enna was just

00:38:52.480 like would not give up her quest to get closer to henry really truly channeling what her mother

00:38:58.060 had done back in the day about how she made it so that she wouldn't have to be separated from

00:39:03.140 christian so let's see so james at one point heard that anna was planning to visit henry and he came

00:39:13.720 along for the trip too so that she wasn't able to kidnap the baby which she probably was going to

00:39:18.080 have done so she lobbied for support from the uh council members or whatever the like scottish

00:39:26.160 lords and they like supported her to the point that james made the mars i think or whoever the

00:39:31.920 guardian was at this point write a letter being like i will never give henry to you even if you 0.99

00:39:36.120 come here and ask even if the king dies like henry will never be reunited with you anna fuck you so 0.99

00:39:42.040 just like she was sad she missed her family she wanted to be with her son james was the worst and 0.99

00:39:49.440 then one of their biggest fights was surrounding a thing called the gallery conspiracy of 1600 so

00:39:55.580 this was a thing where the earl of gallery john ruthven and his brother alexander tried to

00:40:01.180 assassinate James and got themselves killed because again people are just constantly trying

00:40:06.480 to kidnap and or murder James which is like if I was there I would too he was a horrible person

00:40:13.100 so the Ruthven's sisters Beatrix and Barbara side note great names haven't come across a Beatrix

00:40:23.940 or a Barbara in this era in my reading before so Beatrix and Barbara had been among Anna's ladies 1.00

00:40:30.900 and waiting but james had them fired for assassination brother reasons anna was so mad 0.98

00:40:36.220 about this um and again this is like during one of her pregnancies she went on a hunger strike

00:40:40.920 whilst pregnant and refused to leave bed for two days until the ruthven sisters were returned to

00:40:46.240 her service um there's a huge fight things are going badly james hired an acrobat to come into

00:40:53.900 her bedroom and do a show to get her mind off of things which if you're wondering like how out of

00:40:58.540 touch is he from like how to relate with a woman is when you're in the middle of a fight hiring an

00:41:06.500 acrobat is like that would certainly get her mind off of things for a second i don't know maybe it 0.57

00:41:13.580 was the acrobat but anna started eating and leaving bed again but she would not give up on 0.79

00:41:18.520 her crusade to have the ruthven sisters hired back i love her stubbornness but like literally 1.00

00:41:23.120 for three years she was unrelenting she's just like i want my girls back in 1602 she smuggled 1.00

00:41:29.940 beatrix back into the castle but then beatrix was discovered james kicked her out again

00:41:34.560 finally he agreed to give beatrix a pension sort of like severance pay so she kind of won

00:41:41.120 that battle i think she did yeah because james had to give in but also he was horrible with money

00:41:48.940 and he's like sure i'll get for money like they were both equally horrible with money another one

00:41:53.400 of their bigger fights was when anna accidentally quote-unquote killed james's favorite dog jewel 0.88

00:41:58.560 while out on a hunt hunting was one of anna's favorite things he freaked the fuck out at her

00:42:04.360 understandably but then eventually forgave her i mean i don't know i do not know how accidental

00:42:11.120 this shooting of the dog was but i feel like if you're hunting and there's dogs like things happen

00:42:14.900 he gave her a giant diamond as a memorial to the dog that she killed i don't know these two are

00:42:23.160 messy basically they started living in separate houses but they kept like but they hated each

00:42:29.720 other so they kept like telling gossip to the courtiers and the envoys and the ambassadors

00:42:33.120 about each other but all of the secrets that she slipped to these people were always personal

00:42:39.140 details never political um and this is partially because he didn't trust her and she didn't know 0.85

00:42:46.340 any political stuff but also she her whole she maybe didn't care about that stuff why would she 0.93

00:42:52.900 like she just cared about her family her children her friends like she was just living for the gossip

00:43:00.220 stuff like let james do the political stuff and this is part of where he was like she's so

00:43:04.060 unintelligent um because it's like she didn't concern herself with politics where it's like 0.98

00:43:08.600 not everybody has to james also fuck you so this was just like a high key way to be living 0.98

00:43:16.540 obviously and so she found some solace in religion which had always been a comfort to her so remember 0.99

00:43:22.920 they were lutheran her family she was lutheran um when they came from denmark she had brought

00:43:28.460 a german lutheran chaplain along with her to like do the services because it's part of the marriage

00:43:33.720 agreement she's allowed to like still retain her lutheranism but he was like i'm just gonna

00:43:39.660 convert to being calvinist now which is like not catholic but not lutheran and she didn't like

00:43:46.720 calvinism but so she's like well who's gonna be my like chaplain now and she had friends who were

00:43:53.780 roman catholic and maybe encouraged by them or just in some sort of like soul searching moment

00:44:00.400 she began thinking like maybe i want to become catholic as well so she began taking secret

00:44:07.200 instruction from a jesuit priest which was a big deal because at this point of time in this era

00:44:12.940 like even whether you were the queen or not the punishment for even hosting a jesuit priest in

00:44:18.520 your house was death but she clearly liked what she learned because soon enough she underwent a

00:44:25.700 super secret sexy conversion to catholicism yes she became a catholic this was kept super secret

00:44:35.360 sexy because if anyone i.e the subjects of scotland found out about it it would be a disaster

00:44:40.260 because it had been at this point 40 years since the scottish reformation um the country was not

00:44:47.120 catholic there was like major like catholic v protestant um wars still going on i think the

00:44:54.000 Catholics were some of the people who were like constantly trying to like assassinate her husband

00:44:58.240 although James apparently knew that she had converted um but he kept it a secret he didn't 0.89

00:45:04.620 stop her from attending secret sexy mass but he said that she had to keep it a secret and she had

00:45:10.040 to promise not to convert any of their children um so she had like some of her attendants were like

00:45:16.560 secretly priests in disguise and we know this because an ambassador or somebody later was like

00:45:21.580 yeah then Anna went to uh mass and one of her like attendants did the mass where it's like just

00:45:27.900 like priests in disguise so she had just like all Catholics around her but they're all like secret

00:45:32.400 in disguise Catholics at one point the literal pope oh I didn't look up to see if this is the 0.79

00:45:38.540 same pope who's been like the pope in any other stories but this is also like vulgar history colon

00:45:42.660 pope guest appearances anyway he wrote a letter where he was like I don't even know what religion

00:45:48.160 this woman is i have no idea what's going on i'm the pope you know peace out so aside from being

00:45:57.240 secretly catholic her other major hobby was spending money she was very interested in

00:46:03.960 architecture so remember there was the castle that he bought her and he did the renovations

00:46:08.540 he couldn't afford so she moved in and started making more renovations so her home was called

00:46:13.700 dun firm line dun firm line it's a scottish word james had given her this place as a wedding gift

00:46:22.780 and she oversaw rebuilding and enlarging it um she also laid out some very beautiful gardens

00:46:28.140 that were praised by later visitors she was also an art collector she loved paintings and she's

00:46:33.580 also very into jewels including jewelry design she like when she came over from denmark she had

00:46:40.900 brought with her a danish jeweler but he complained that she wasn't paying him in time and she

00:46:45.760 probably wasn't her finances were a disaster um so he complained she wasn't paying him and then

00:46:52.060 he like stole some gems and ran away and like frankly good for him so then she hired an edinburgh

00:46:57.460 based goldsmith called george harriet and they had a long fruitful sort of collaborative

00:47:02.900 relationship kind of like um kim kardashian with balanciaga where you know she would just like come

00:47:11.180 up with ideas and he'd do some designing and that sort of stuff so in addition to buying gold and

00:47:16.600 jewels from him he also loaned her vast sums of money because she and james were in debt constantly

00:47:23.180 but it didn't matter because the money problems were all solved when elizabeth the first died in

00:47:29.180 England and she named James as her successor so James became king of England as well as king of

00:47:36.040 Scots and I feel like also Ireland or at least he claimed that at the time so Anna was by this point

00:47:42.980 29 years old he ran off to England as soon as he heard the news to like be like yeah I'm the king

00:47:47.940 which perfect opportunity for her also she's pregnant at this point she was left behind to

00:47:54.560 just like tie up loose ends etc and if you know her like i think you do after having listened to

00:48:00.500 45 minutes of podcast about her she went right away to sterling castle which is where prince 1.00

00:48:05.500 henry was to take him with her her old enemy lady mar was there lady mar refused to hand over the 1.00

00:48:13.600 prince without an official warrant from the king so they had like a huge fight again causing her 0.99

00:48:18.240 a miscarry she lay dangerously ill for days uh james was just like oh for fuck's sake

00:48:24.380 so he arranged a thing so it's like one person would like get the prince and one person would

00:48:30.440 get anne and then anne wouldn't have to see any of the mars anyway ultimately she finally got to

00:48:39.380 be with her son again victory for anna and they headed for england so at this point so there's

00:48:47.420 henry the oldest son and then there were two other children who had survived infancy so margaret and

00:48:54.360 robert had both died very young um there was elizabeth their daughter and then the youngest

00:48:58.940 was charles who's very frail and not able to travel yet and honestly just the change of energy

00:49:05.180 of like elizabeth the first had been you know whole a single woman um with male favorites and

00:49:13.640 stuff it was just like adults like increasingly getting older adults around the palace and now

00:49:19.260 it was like a cute young family with like little kids Anna was there being like young and glamorous

00:49:24.280 so they came and they brought like a new vitality back into the palace she and James are crowned at

00:49:29.360 Westminster and I've got some outfit details she wore a robe of crimson velvet like these two are

00:49:35.880 all about the velvet which I also feel is sort of like Denmark represent with just like the warm 0.53

00:49:41.400 fabric her hair was hanging loose on her shoulders a plain gold coronet on her head i'm sure it

00:49:46.900 planned very carefully with her best friend slash jeweler george she didn't take communion during

00:49:53.000 the ceremony so again everyone's like what's up with her not taking communion so this aroused

00:49:58.680 gossip about her being maybe a super secret sexy catholic but remember she also didn't take it when

00:50:04.300 she was lutheran but so that's just i don't know communion is like always a weird thing

00:50:09.980 about her reputation and in fact before she died queen elizabeth the first had been like what's

00:50:15.940 the deal with anna and like what religion is she because it was really important that queen

00:50:20.360 elizabeth's successor would be protestant and anna just sort of politely sidestepped ever like

00:50:26.300 answering yes or no about like if she was catholic or not queen elizabeth in fact had written letters

00:50:31.260 before she died to anna saying don't let anyone convert you to being catholic and if anyone does

00:50:35.920 like tell me the names of the catholics who try to make you be catholic and she wrote back like

00:50:39.520 lol i don't know any catholics bye meanwhile one of her besties was a woman named henrietta

00:50:45.920 gordon whose husband was literally an exiled catholic so honestly um things happen like for

00:50:54.540 instance when james became the king he sent an envoy to italy just to sort of spread the word

00:50:58.340 be like hey guess who's the king of england now it's james and he went to tell the pope like guess

00:51:03.320 who's the king and the pope was like oh great glad to see you like can you give this like rosary

00:51:07.300 to anna so and he's like why would the protestant queen of england want a rosary from the pope

00:51:14.240 whatever so he delivered it first mistake james flew into a rage and ordered the envoy to be sent

00:51:19.500 to the tower of london for like giving her a like pope-ish gift anna was like oh my god how

00:51:25.060 embarrassing i never asked for a rosary from the pope lol but she also like behind the scenes made

00:51:29.880 sure that that guy was like led to the tower of london and presumably she like took the rosary

00:51:34.140 and like prayed with it or whatever um after the coronation they went on a little trip through the

00:51:40.020 south of england to be like hello we're glamorous new you know king and queen she loved the theater

00:51:45.640 and so she got to see a performance of as you like it by shakespeare she met the famous poet

00:51:50.520 ben johnson who she had become his patron and she got beautiful new homes to live in

00:51:57.680 um instead of just the one she had been renovating in scotland she hired the famous french garden

00:52:04.080 designer solomon decose to build a huge fountain at her home in the form of mount parnassus

00:52:10.640 surmounted by apollo and the muses unfamiliar can't quite picture what that looks like

00:52:15.900 but sounds great yeah and so this is the point at which they just lived separate lives so um

00:52:24.060 um their sixth child was a daughter named mary named after mary cream scott so like they live

00:52:29.620 separate lives but like every now and then clearly conceive more children and then she had another

00:52:35.000 daughter called sophia named after her mother but both of these girls died in infancy and then she

00:52:40.080 had some sort of medical slash gynecological health complication wherein she stopped having

00:52:47.120 children and i think the two of them just like stopped trying to have children e.g having sex

00:52:51.480 with each other because of medical slash gynecological reasons. I also want to think

00:52:56.260 she was like, we're good. Let's just not have any more children. Let's just like not have sex

00:53:02.200 anymore. Thanks. At around the same time, the gunpowder plot happened, which was a thing very

00:53:11.420 famous in like England where Guy Fawkes day and all that stuff. So briefly, my vague understanding

00:53:20.500 of it so this is the thing where a bunch of people the conspirators one of whom was guy fox

00:53:25.480 wanted to blow up the parliament building i think they were catholics with the king and prince henry

00:53:31.900 inside so if they exploded like in that one time in game of thrones where everyone in the building 0.85

00:53:36.400 exploded that would mean that the new monarch would be princess elizabeth and who was like a

00:53:44.440 little girl at this point and they thought she would be like their puppet and she would like do

00:53:48.020 what they said and they would like make her be catholic and i think they chose her because

00:53:53.780 charles was still like a little baby the plot did not work because somebody told on them the like

00:53:59.380 powder the like literal powder keg is that what it is the like gunpowder was found parliament did

00:54:04.100 not blow up and also like fun fact elizabeth this little princess the daughter of anna was

00:54:10.900 really headstrong really opinionated and probably would have not done what they wanted had they won

00:54:15.220 anyway and the gunpowder plot was funded by a secret catholic patron and nobody knows who it

00:54:22.160 was like even when the conspirators were tortured none of them would name names and so tracy borman

00:54:28.760 who i read she wrote this article on historyextra.com because she has written a series of

00:54:35.400 novels set in this era and her theory in one of the novels is that it was anna was the secret

00:54:40.620 patron who like funded the gunpowder plot which is i feel like unlikely but like how cool would it be

00:54:46.260 even if it was her like she made it a fictional story i don't think she's being like here's what

00:54:52.260 happened but she's like this is what could have happened because in the months leading up to the

00:54:56.680 gunpowder plot anna had gathered a lot of catholics around her as bedchamber attendants

00:55:01.300 and as i said they helped smuggle priests into court disguised as other personal attendants but

00:55:06.800 i feel like she dedicated her life to reuniting with henry she would never have blown him up i

00:55:12.460 could see her blowing up james i could see a lot of people blowing up james but i don't know if

00:55:17.260 at this point catholicism was more important to her than like her children and i don't think so

00:55:23.360 anyway so their two infant daughters died the gunpowder plot was kind of a big deal

00:55:28.940 and they just effectively separated in public anna was gracious and a great diplomat and the

00:55:36.560 parties she threw were legendary and also helped elevate english court to the that of other european

00:55:42.860 nations by making them seem more cultured and cool she was a dedicated patron of the arts

00:55:48.240 especially writing in theater and she would sometimes perform herself in the many many many

00:55:53.580 plays that were put on during her time as queen do you remember in the lady ann stanley episode

00:55:59.200 there was we talked about in there about the like parties she would throw and like the masks that

00:56:04.260 she would hold and how there was like lady and stanley and her family like they appeared in a

00:56:09.320 mask or like one was commissioned to be like guess what we're okay again and like let us be fancy

00:56:15.260 people still yeah so when she when she had been just queen of scotland this whole set of things

00:56:20.440 wasn't she wasn't able to really indulge in this because scotland at that time was very frugal and

00:56:25.640 straight-laced and just like my notes say presbyterian does that mean anything i don't know

00:56:31.080 but she just loved glamour extravagance um and this worked a lot better in england where her

00:56:37.140 encouragement allowed artists to flourish creatively and in fact this era is known for

00:56:41.660 a lot of the artistic stuff that happened and some mistakenly say like it was james who encouraged

00:56:47.460 this where it's like no he was burning witches and like translating the bible to be more

00:56:51.080 misogynistic it was anna of denmark who's getting the artistic stuff to happen so her parties were

00:56:59.120 masks m-a-s-q-u-e this is like where a theater company would be hired to bring singers musicians

00:57:05.180 and performers and then the king and queen and courtiers would join them in dancing i think james

00:57:09.700 would generally not attend because he didn't like i don't know parties there's usually a play

00:57:16.240 performed and with anna as the party planner these would have some of the most sophisticated and

00:57:20.800 ornate sets ever because she was the most like people would come from other countries when they

00:57:26.940 heard one of her mask parties was coming up because i knew it was going to be so legendary

00:57:30.920 she was responsible for the most innovative court masks ever seen to that point in britain

00:57:36.480 so this also showed off how rich they were which made other countries want to deal with them more

00:57:43.400 although side note they weren't rich um she was just spending a lot of money although no maybe

00:57:48.700 they were rich at this point because of like colonization and like piracy it was around this 0.88

00:57:54.780 time women began to be permitted to act on stage because remember in like Shakespeare in Love and 1.00

00:57:59.500 stuff it's like men play the women parts so this is another thing that she helped to mainstream 0.89

00:58:04.860 in fact Anna would sometimes cast herself or her ladies in waiting in roles in the show 0.92

00:58:11.280 this sometimes led to controversy such as one time she wore a toga in her role as Athena and

00:58:17.000 some audience members felt it was too short so this is just like a legs out moment living for it

00:58:22.540 she's the queen so like what are you going to do if the queen wants to wear like toga miniskirt

00:58:26.720 here we go she also like because of her creative partnership with george harriet 1.00

00:58:31.040 amazing jewels for all of her costumes and so what we know about her and the jewelry that she 0.84

00:58:37.900 and he worked on together she liked her jewelry to be shaped like stuff so like brooches in the 0.81

00:58:43.600 form of flowers butterflies and parrots she had one one had a jeweled hair ornament shaped like

00:58:48.580 a crossbow to reference her love of hunting and unusual earrings for instance there's a portrait

00:58:55.380 of her that shows her own hunting and in this portrait she's wearing a shoelace suspended from 0.92

00:59:01.440 a gold ring in one ear and this is what i feel like let's do a tits out brigade we're bringing

00:59:09.260 back shoelace earrings this is i just think it's like a doable thing that we can make this happen

00:59:16.320 how do we make this go viral on tiktok shoelace earrings you know i'm on tiktok i haven't done

00:59:22.680 anything there i appreciate when people tits our brigade members send me videos on tiktok because

00:59:27.160 it helps me understand what it's for but here what here's what i think we should do shoelace

00:59:31.980 earrings let's make it happen she was also a patron to portrait artists um collected lots of

00:59:39.900 pieces of art some dude called lord salisbury said she seems to prefer pictures to people 0.89

00:59:45.160 and like frankly if the people are assholes i would too she was also sort of like straight 0.66

00:59:50.720 laced and quiet um i'd say like james extroverted she was introverted and some people thought that 0.93

00:59:56.300 meant she was stuck up or mean but honestly like frankly she was still lonely missed her like 0.98

01:00:02.500 close-knit family in denmark was married to fucking james how many like children had died 0.95

01:00:08.380 in infancy like i'm sorry how happy do you expect her to be like and slash she's throwing these 1.00

01:00:13.580 parties like clearly she had a good time but yeah so she was close to her children she like lived

01:00:18.120 for her children which like and she was 19 when henry was born so it's like such a young mom away

01:00:23.680 from home like i feel it's like this is like she made her own family like her and the children

01:00:27.820 that's like where she found the love that she needed which is why when he died of typhus aged

01:00:33.000 18 she was obviously devastated and then that same year her daughter elizabeth was sent off to

01:00:38.920 heidelberg to be married and i think they never saw each other again and she fell understandably

01:00:43.780 into a deep depression which coincided with she already had this sort of like health issue from

01:00:49.380 like the birth complications it's described she is having gout which is just kind of like a word

01:00:55.380 people used in this era that could mean like arthritis or could mean like i don't know she

01:01:01.920 was just like doing poorly slash was depressed her brother christian king of denmark did come

01:01:08.540 by shortly after the death of the two infant girls and i'm sure that was like nice for her

01:01:13.040 but he couldn't stay forever 1614 she held her final mask like she just couldn't do it anymore

01:01:18.960 because she was so sick but in mind she's like 39 by now like how much has happened to her

01:01:24.960 and with her just ill and kind of out of the way like james this whole time as you probably know

01:01:32.720 or maybe i mentioned already has just been hanging out with his like various male favorites um george

01:01:38.420 villiers robert carr this is like around the same time that the thomas overbury murder situation

01:01:44.460 featuring tidzoid francis howard happened so that's what james is up to meanwhile she's just

01:01:49.480 like mourning her like dead children and just like whatever having illnesses yeah she got more and

01:01:55.660 more sick and her son charles who's no longer little bb came and slept in the room with her

01:02:00.220 because she was a loving mother and also her love of art really imprinted on her sons charles was

01:02:05.900 really into that as well thank god like he didn't inherit everything from his awful dad

01:02:09.720 and he was nice to her so like he stayed with her while she was ill she was getting more and more 0.76

01:02:14.980 ill james visited a couple times but not very often because he sucked and she was like literally

01:02:22.420 dying but because no one could know that she was super secret catholic they couldn't bring a

01:02:27.220 catholic priest in to give her the last rites so instead it was like i don't know the what is it

01:02:32.940 the like anglican guy the like archbishop or whatever and then she died aged 44 march 2nd

01:02:40.360 1619 and she was laid to rest in king's king henry's chapel in westminster abbey james kind

01:02:48.320 of like a bringing back the like over-the-top way that he acted when they first met he was very

01:02:53.760 performative about being like oh so sad about her death and they had had by the answer of like a

01:02:59.280 brother-sister relationship sort of vibes he didn't attend her funeral because i'm not sure

01:03:05.320 one source i read said because he just didn't like funerals like okay or he might have been sick

01:03:12.000 as well but the sickness might have just been him being like oh no i'm so sad and sick

01:03:16.840 anyway he also wrote songs just like when he'd been waiting to meet her in denmark he wrote a 0.70

01:03:22.600 poem but he did not erect a tomb in her memory because he sucks but then later her daughter

01:03:29.060 elizabeth would make a tomb for her her legacy so their son charles would go on to become king

01:03:36.600 charles the first more importantly her daughter elizabeth remember the one who the like conspirators 0.95

01:03:42.680 wanted to make the queen and the gunpowder thing she became queen of bohemia which like first of

01:03:48.160 all gives me like coachella vibes but that's not it's literal bohemia like in germany she became

01:03:53.800 hugely influential in like european history and she so after like the stewart dynasty kind of

01:04:01.320 ended up like who's going to be the new king of england they traced down elizabeth's family tree

01:04:07.940 so her daughter sophia and then george i and then that dynasty was the royal house of hanover and

01:04:14.560 that kind of got rid of the stewart dynasty altogether which ultimately makes anna of

01:04:18.720 Denmark and ancestor to every English monarch from Charles the first to the present day

01:04:23.860 there are very few things written about her I have to say she's even though her life story is like I

01:04:30.000 think and I hope you agree after having listened to all this super interesting there's a biography

01:04:35.360 written of her in like 1970 and then just when I was tragically bad timing I realized there was a

01:04:41.280 biography of her written in 2021 but I didn't have time to read it because it's like only in

01:04:47.920 england anyway not a lot of people writing about her i think they should i think she's super

01:04:52.160 interesting she's like never in she's like a supporting character so like in tracy borman's

01:04:56.840 books she shows up in annette for small fishes by lucy jago also um as we learned in that

01:05:03.380 interview with lucy jago like anna of denmark came over and she kind of like she worked with

01:05:09.660 and the the woman who invented the tits out neckline the yellow roughs she had kind of like

01:05:17.040 a style evolution as well the lady jane seymour moyle award for outstanding supporting performance

01:05:23.820 i don't see that from anyone here i think her mom is great but this is the story of anna and

01:05:30.380 the mother was tragically not there for all this stuff to be able to support her i would give james

01:05:36.020 the anti-supporting performance but that's not an award that's just me shitting all over him for

01:05:42.220 the last hour scandalousness so for anna the thing is there's not like super secret sexy scandals

01:05:52.120 except in the sense of like conversion which actually like it's not like she didn't murder

01:05:56.560 people she wasn't having affairs but like becoming catholic was so scandalous in this era that she

01:06:03.980 could never tell anybody about it i love that she brought in these um secret priests it's

01:06:09.860 Scandalicious in context, very scandalous in context.

01:06:13.740 Actually, when I was like in that story, I was just like, you know, there's rumors. 0.76

01:06:17.760 It's like, was she Catholic?

01:06:18.540 Was she not?

01:06:18.880 It's like, she pretty much was.

01:06:20.160 It's pretty badass of her. 1.00

01:06:21.880 I'm going to give her a seven for scandalousness based on the super secret sexy conversion.

01:06:27.340 Her scheminess, I think, is actually pretty good. 1.00

01:06:30.260 Like her, she didn't, her schemes were like based on like getting her son back and it 1.00

01:06:36.380 was effective. 1.00

01:06:36.820 her scheme like she wanted that um the one lady in waiting like her scheminess combined with just 1.00

01:06:42.780 sort of like dedication stubbornness never giving uppingness like she wasn't scheming to like have 1.00

01:06:49.620 more power or whatever she's scheming to get what she wanted to be happier so it doesn't matter what 0.99

01:06:55.280 the scheme is about if it's she was schemey i'm gonna give her a six for scheminess her significance

01:07:02.640 kints i think she was such a great patron of the arts wasn't there someone else where it's just

01:07:07.980 like with harem sultan was kind of like all the people who she helped like the little ripples of

01:07:12.500 like how many people that affected ultimately so here it's like the art that anna helped

01:07:17.940 patronize is that the word no patronage like that would just have an effect like the great plays

01:07:25.140 that came out and stuff like that was and then also her children um eventually i don't know i

01:07:32.020 don't know like her significance personally i'm gonna give her a six for significance because

01:07:39.220 it's like more than five but like her specifically like i can't like trace her to any specific thing

01:07:45.480 unless she was the one who funded the gunpowder plot which would give her extra marks and 1.00

01:07:50.420 scandalousness scheminess and significance but that's like entirely um theoretical the sexism 1.00

01:07:58.380 bonus i think well there's just the shitty things about like she kept having babies the babies kept 0.50

01:08:03.040 dying that was awful um and like her job was to have babies and that is not a great job and it's 0.99

01:08:10.660 very gendered of her i think the sexism that she faces frankly was like starting in her lifetime 1.00

01:08:18.920 and then later on too it's this reputation of just being this sort of like flighty vapid vain 1.00

01:08:24.820 shallow like an intelligent person it's like why because she like didn't get involved in politics 1.00

01:08:29.160 like firstly there's nothing wrong with being vapid nothing about being flighty nothing wrong 0.99

01:08:34.380 with being unintelligent nothing wrong with any of that and so those are very like gendered things

01:08:41.260 to be like oh she just wasn't as like smart and clever as whatever elizabeth the first but it's 1.00

01:08:45.460 like fuck you like she was a cool person she had a hair clip shaped like a crossbow she wore a 1.00

01:08:51.580 shoelace in her earring like she made all these plays she wore a toga miniskirt one time like she 1.00

01:08:58.820 was doing cool stuff and and just so much of her reputation in history seems to be like oh but she 1.00

01:09:03.660 was just like so shallow like fuck you that's like an eight i'm giving her an eight sexism bonus 1.00

01:09:10.020 because because she has this bad reputation entirely because her like shitty husband was 1.00

01:09:17.760 like oh she's not as smart as me and everyone's like yeah she's not like fuck off so what does 0.99

01:09:23.160 this all add up to it's been so long since i did a score what is math um seven plus six plus six 0.99

01:09:31.100 plus eight equals 27 that's very squarely amid some great company i have to say

01:09:39.660 27 um is the same score as from the same season saeed al hurrah

01:09:47.840 also 27 isabel of portugal anna de mendoza margaret pole isabella of castile jean de lamotte

01:09:56.560 it's a frequent score jean um catherine parr francis gray and she's actually just above

01:10:02.920 Frances Howard her contemporary had a 26 Anna of Denmark 27 frankly I'm like very defensive of her

01:10:12.220 now just reading about how people have been so mean to her in history just makes me want to be

01:10:17.900 like you know what like theater is important like fashion is important jewelry design is important

01:10:23.760 like being a cool mom like all the stuff she did it's like just because she wasn't whatever like

01:10:30.680 leading armies doesn't mean she wasn't important or like clever or like her life mattered anyway

01:10:37.600 anna of denmark a life lived across four countries as far as i can tell 27 classic

01:10:47.060 average vulgar history score so thank you for listening

01:10:51.220 yes i feel like it's been like so long since they did an episode frankly it has been because

01:10:56.480 catalina de arraso was three episodes and there's a q a but we're like we're back in it it's the

01:11:02.000 second half of this extremely long international season we've got some great stuff coming up

01:11:06.340 and just some things to tell you about so for instance if you go to vulgarhistory.com

01:11:12.160 there's you can contact me there if you have like feedback or thoughts or suggestions of people for

01:11:16.820 future episodes or themes for future seasons or if i like mispronounced something in danish you

01:11:25.300 know let me know if you go to um bookshop.org well there'll be a link in the show notes so

01:11:31.760 bookshop.org slash shop slash vulgar history that's where books that i have mentioned on the

01:11:36.460 show are all listed there including uh the historical fiction from the q a episode and

01:11:41.940 when you buy books through that link bookshop.org slash shop slash vulgar history then a little bit

01:11:46.900 of money goes towards me and this podcast and i'm i've been able to do as long of a season as

01:11:53.280 we're currently halfway through doing because of the support of listeners like you so both the

01:11:59.180 using bookshop um if you go to vulgarhistory.store that is where our merch is we've got amazing merch

01:12:05.960 at the moment um international merch we've got the catalina de arousso what is it's like hard

01:12:11.580 work and persistence can perform miracles um there's llama llama merch from catalina de arousso

01:12:18.900 there's uh oh we've got super secret sexy wedding themed merch anyway it's all there and if you use

01:12:25.600 code tits out you get free shipping in the u.s or tits out 10 for 10 off your order um also if you

01:12:33.780 go to patreon.com slash ann foster writer that's where you can join the active and thriving patreon

01:12:38.840 community and that is where if you pledge one or two dollars a month you can get early access to

01:12:45.280 episodes of vulgar history um if you pledge five dollars or more and this is like u.s so like

01:12:50.860 convert it because i know you're all around the world tits out brigade um you get access to the 0.56

01:12:56.460 so this asshole episodes that's where you can learn more about james the first slash six if 0.90

01:13:00.800 you want to just like like gouge your ears out with like how awful he was there's also polls 0.59

01:13:06.420 there and stuff to help me choose topics and things like that and yeah the patreon community

01:13:11.480 so supportive again it's like that's part of why financially i'm able to dedicate as much time as i

01:13:17.620 have been lately to this podcast but i want to say also i know this is like a shitty time for

01:13:24.160 everybody in the world and i don't want to be like spend money on me like i don't please don't feel

01:13:29.580 bad about that like the most important thing you can do is what you're doing right now which is

01:13:33.020 listening to this show uh you could also like tell your friends about the show you can also like i

01:13:37.820 don't know talk about the show on like twitter or tiktok or whatever just let spread the word

01:13:43.860 i appreciate that um if you're able to like if you're listening to the show on an app on which

01:13:49.200 you can rate or review spotify by the way if you click on the little rate and review you can give

01:13:54.960 it five stars there's like a thousand five star reviews i love it let's get to two thousand so

01:14:01.540 let's just like let spotify know that we are the tits of brigade we've got shoelaces in our ears

01:14:06.600 and we're just like we're here you can also review on apple podcasts i think on google podcasts

01:14:12.820 various things not just do those reviews help with the algorithm and more people finding the

01:14:18.740 show but also it just makes me feel good yeah i'm most frequently communicating with a titsoid

01:14:23.800 brigade on instagram which where we're at vulgar history pod i'm also on twitter at vulgar history

01:14:29.780 and i guess that's everything it's really exciting honestly like it feels like it's been a really

01:14:34.320 long time since i did an episode i'm back in there's some really amazing stuff coming up

01:14:39.040 this is an extremely long season thank you for all listening keep your mask on 0.96

01:14:44.020 keep your pants on keep your tits out and i'll talk to you all in one week 0.99

01:15:05.240 The war is over and both sides lost. 1.00

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Vulgar History - June 01, 2022

International, part 12： The Drama Queen of England (Who Was Married To A Gay Man)

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