00:00:00.000What if I told you there was a man from El Salvador who saved 40,000 Jewish people from
00:00:04.020the Nazi's regime, but barely spoke a word about it? Or that mermaids are actually truly feared
00:00:08.580and supposedly murdering people in Zimbabwe? These are the kinds of stories you would find out on my
00:00:12.300show. My name is Mary Walker, and this is the Culture Cult Travel Show, where I, along with
00:00:16.400some guests, cut some jokes, tell our favorite travel stories, but also have the goal to feature
00:00:20.420stories from every country and every culture in the world. All 197 of them. I mean, there's just
00:00:26.040so many untold stories out there that are buried and forgotten in so many countries and cultures
00:00:30.220that are just underrepresented and unknown. Maybe even you would want to come onto the show and talk
00:00:34.620about your country. So even if you don't have the time or money to travel the world, you can still
00:00:38.460listen to my show, The Culture Cult Travel Show, and have a good laugh and learn about the world
00:00:42.200right where you are. Hello, Vocal History listeners, aka the Tits Out Brigade. Before
00:00:57.780we get to the episode, I want to take a moment to address the United States Supreme Court decision
00:01:02.000to overturn Roe versus Wade on June 24th, 2022, which stripped away the right to have a safe and
00:01:07.340legal abortion. Restricting access to comprehensive reproductive care, including abortion, threatens
00:01:12.640the health and independence of all people, which we've already seen with abortion bans and
00:01:17.080restrictions in countries like Poland and Malta. This decision has dire consequences and could
00:01:22.480have harsh repercussions for other landmark decisions within the United States. I encourage
00:01:27.020my audience, American and otherwise, to learn more about what you can do to help at podvoices.help.
00:01:33.120that's podvoices.help. I encourage you to speak up, take care, and spread the word.
00:01:56.240Hello and welcome to Vocal History, a feminist women's history comedy podcast. My name is Anne
00:02:00.760Foster. A lot of shitty things happening in the world, but that's not what we're here to talk
00:02:05.420about. We're here to talk about shitty things happening in 17th century Sweden. And this is0.77
00:02:10.380part two of our episode on Christina of Sweden. So I'm gonna like, I'm gonna assume most of the
00:02:18.680people listening to this have listened to part one. But if you just jumped in right with part
00:02:22.100two, I'm gonna, I'm gonna remind you or explain who everybody is. Or even if you listened to part
00:02:26.540one a week ago which might feel for you based on current global world events or I guess events in
00:02:33.120the United States might feel like 10,000 years ago I'm going to refresh everyone's memory just
00:02:37.920when we get to a different character like I'll remind you who they are frankly because I also
00:02:41.480kind of forget so we're just going to jump in um Christine of Sweden so last time we talked a lot
00:02:48.820about her growing up uh the various um her parents relationship with each other her mother's various
00:03:00.280untreated psychological things that were going on with her christina grew up uh being told by
00:03:06.160everybody like you're not like other girls you're you're special and good and she really took that0.99
00:03:10.280to heart and she's just like yeah i'm the king and i'm a girl i'm a girl king um other girls suck0.99
00:03:16.700But I don't. We talked last time about her relationship with Ebba Spare, who kind of, before I started researching her, Christina of Sweden is kind of known as like maybe a queer figure from history.0.93
00:03:33.840Just from, and I didn't like do, you know, deep archival research, you know, like learning Swedish, reading everybody's letters.
00:03:39.740but what i gleaned from what i read in um a biography of her written by veronica buckley
00:03:46.780which did drop from those sources like i don't i don't know i don't know i hope i don't know0.62
00:03:53.100her and ebba had even if this was a um a sapphic relationship it was really fucked up also so it's0.70
00:04:03.820not just like yay we stan a renaissance era swedish lesbian person like we do not actually
00:04:10.380i want to talk about that just briefly because other episodes i've done that are multi-part i've
00:04:16.360recorded all the parts pretty close together but this time i released christina episode one and
00:04:20.660i've heard from members of the tits out brigade and what your thoughts were about christina
00:04:25.060so i have that in my mind going into this and what this podcast does as you all know because
00:04:31.560this is what I do in every episode I'm not just here to be like yeah girl boss that's like
00:04:35.780woo like all these women they're all great and they're heroes it's like a lot of them did things
00:04:40.820that were cool and that we stan and a lot of them all of them had fucked up things that happened
00:04:47.520as well so this podcast is just here to be like here's a good story not of a person who's like a
00:04:53.360hero or a villain but just like a woman usually a woman I'm open to other genders if the stories
00:05:00.820are scandalous just enough i in doing my research and um recording these podcasts i've really come1.00
00:05:08.180to really appreciate the fact that christina was just like an asshole um entitled really unpleasant0.99
00:05:16.400to be around and she did her own thing in a society in a culture and an era where even as1.00
00:05:24.240the king she was really not um encouraged to do that like they really all the men around her
00:05:32.000Axel Oxenherna and all the other guys they really just wanted her to be like their puppet who would
00:05:35.680like do whatever they said and she was not here for that she was also not here to like um do
00:05:42.260anything useful as king she was just kind of here to like read books and take ballet lessons and um
00:05:48.920play mind games with people but that's what she wanted to do and she was really true to that about0.97
00:05:53.000herself and i appreciate a person who just is like here's who i am fuck you that's i respect that so0.95
00:05:59.140i'm coming into this not being like oh i hope we all come out of this being like we stan christina0.96
00:06:03.300girl boss yeah it's like no but in a kind of like catalina de arousa way it's just like whoa this
00:06:09.560person was fucking audacious she did her own thing um the things she did i don't necessarily0.98
00:06:16.440agree with or enjoy but I respect that she like did them although I will say she murdered a lot0.98
00:06:23.140less people than Catalina de Arraso did so we left Christina midway through she was like officially
00:06:30.900king but she hadn't had a coronation yet because Sweden was involved in what will eventually become
00:06:36.640the 30 years war it's at this point I forget like the 24 year war or something like there just0.63
00:06:42.340wasn't the ability to to afford to have a big thing like that not that she cared about money
00:06:47.680to begin with but I think it just was I don't know she hadn't been officially coordinated yet so0.99
00:06:51.380but whatever she was busy playing psychosexual mind games um full-time trolling her minister
00:06:58.180Axel Oxenherna um that's what she was doing but um Sweden the country was in the midst of war
00:07:07.580this what would become the 30 years war and there were some things that she could have been doing
00:07:14.020as king and she just like wouldn't we're gonna talk in a bit also it's not just like
00:07:18.700like some contemporary political figures where she's just there was a toll to her standing up
00:07:25.840for herself as much as she did she's not just like getting away with all this stuff like we're
00:07:29.560gonna talk about her medical stuff but like the fact that she was constantly at war with
00:07:35.320Axel Oxenharna really took it out of her as well so anyway she's busy she's tired she's sick
00:07:39.600and statecraft in Sweden was just getting really messy not just because of her but she wasn't
00:07:48.320making it be not messy so for instance there was a significant lack of money for like the country
00:07:55.280like the country was not doing well economically and this wasn't her fault because she had um
00:08:01.820she had been a little girl like she wasn't actually ruling anything technically until she was 18
00:08:05.900before that her dad gustav had been the king and she had inherited like when she became queen at
00:08:11.360age six a country that was in debt because her father um had built schools hospitals universities
00:08:18.000post offices new streets and he had been spending money to boost local industries like he really
00:08:22.960wanted to make sweden um more on par with some of the more wealthy countries like um i don't know
00:08:30.140france or spain after her dad had died axel oxenharna continued on with all these projects
00:08:36.340and to pay for it they had sold some like i don't know things that the country the royal family owned
00:08:44.320um with like land i think but with the assumption that they could buy it all back when they had
00:08:50.420enough money to do so but i don't think they've been able to do so and so this delicate balance
00:08:55.000had kind of worked over the 30 years that were gustav's reign and then christina's regency but
00:09:01.840because of all of this and because i don't know if they tried to explain this to christina or if0.91
00:09:06.820she just like didn't give a shit but she never truly learned how budgeting was supposed to work0.68
00:09:13.280so as per her biographer veronica buckley christina came to view the crown's assets like0.96
00:09:20.360the loaves and fishes on the mount of olives miraculously renewable moreover she could not
00:09:25.740distinguish or would not distinguish between the crown's property and what belonged to her
00:09:29.340personally so she gave money as gifts for her favorites or to libraries or for paintings or
00:09:34.360for armies or orchestras often randomly and more lavishly than was expected she had little
00:09:39.160understanding of finance and made no attempt to learn and this is where again she's a queen
00:09:44.34017th century Sweden but you know I I think I put up a poll in the Instagram stories about like
00:09:50.920what's what's her most relatable trait and by far being terrible with money was what most people
00:09:56.720voted for so I think we all we all can see ourselves a bit in this like 20 year old person
00:10:03.460who doesn't understand finance um so but because of she was doing all this stuff um the country
00:10:10.320and because everything had been so like on the edge to begin with and then she was spending so
00:10:14.600lavishly so like the country of sweden uh ran out of money so the quickest way to raise money
00:10:21.280christina figured was to sell titles to nobles and so she began to sell them by the dozen so
00:10:27.800when she when all the old like existing titles had all been sold she created new ones and so
00:10:33.720within a few years she had increased sevenfold the number of sweden's earls increased the number
00:10:38.540of barons from nine to 41 and tripled the number of noble families most of these new aristocrats
00:10:44.920weren't swedish but were often artists and merchant and mercenary soldiers from england
00:10:49.520scotland germany the netherlands and her personal fave france um and she just felt like okay here's
00:10:57.760a quote from chris she said magnificence and liberality are the virtues of the great
00:11:02.360they delight everyone so she's like i'm spending money and that makes everyone happy so like here
00:11:08.320we go because they were selling these titles and i guess the titles would come with land maybe um
00:11:13.080the clerks at the land office could not keep up with a sudden flow of paperwork mistakes were
00:11:17.360made like the same land being sold twice or one guy i don't know his name but this is a great
00:11:22.500grift made a profit selling land that did not even exist so even with all of that there still
00:11:28.540wasn't enough money so christina decided to raise taxes but that also didn't help because nobles
00:11:34.180didn't pay taxes and she was making everybody a noble so there wasn't that many people to pay
00:11:39.000taxes ultimately the problem was with sweden at this point in this era no tea no shade to sweden
00:11:45.340currently sweden did not at that time produce very much because it was isolated sparsely populated
00:11:52.000and half frozen they just like didn't have stuff to export her father and axel oxen herna and she
00:11:59.860herself all attempted to get more people involved in mining and the slave trade but it didn't make
00:12:05.000much of a difference so i just want to pause um and talk about this because i came across this
00:12:09.400in my research and then i was just like what was sweden's deal with the slave trade so this is from
00:12:14.580a blog post on a site called historyofyesterday.com so in 1638 the new sweden colony was established
00:12:23.100along the lower reaches of the delaware river in what is today the u.s the christina river in
00:12:28.280northern delaware was named after her i don't know if anyone out there is listening from northern
00:12:32.460delaware but if you are um and you're near that river like take a picture of it for me i'd love
00:12:38.540to see it so the swedish colonial effort in north america was not long lived nevertheless it
00:12:43.660negatively impacted the native american populations that live in the area like all colonialism did
00:12:48.860the swedish africa company was also established during the reign of christina the company was
00:12:53.820complicit in the transatlantic slave trade causing unimaginable suffering to the african
00:12:57.720people who were kidnapped and forced into slavery this was a dark chapter in swedish history so
00:13:03.740sweden not exempt from what all the other countries we've talked about in terms of slavery were up to
00:13:09.940portugal and the netherlands and all the places like sweden was also doing it but just kind of
00:13:15.860was never as major as other people's stuff so christina was involved in that as well
00:13:20.180things were doing pretty shitty for sweden in general i feel like even if someone else was
00:13:24.660the king at this time like kg their cousin from poland whoever like i think it was just like kind
00:13:30.860of a bad time in general but she was an easy person to be the scapegoat for criticism because
00:13:35.620she was a young woman and people didn't like women but also it's like and she was actively1.00
00:13:39.820like doing a bad job so a lot of people criticized her pamphlets were produced criticizing her you1.00
00:13:47.080know i love a good pamphlet moment people complained about her and one sunday as she
00:13:52.100knelt in the chapel of her castle a man armed with two daggers slipped through the congregation and
00:13:56.520ran towards her two guards standing ahead of her with spears and battle axes were unable to stop
00:14:01.060the assassin who snapped one of their spears and knocked them to the ground their captain standing0.98
00:14:05.660next to christina in pious reverie hadn't noticed this was even happening until she shoved him to
00:14:12.160be like hello and then he captured the would-be assassin who was found to be insane and carried
00:14:17.700off to a madhouse so i'm gonna say christina not doing a great job being king but like this guy
00:14:23.160like her guards not doing a great job being guards just like it wasn't there wasn't a lot0.88
00:14:27.620of skilled people doing stuff in her direct orbit so this attempted assassination lent more urgency
00:14:33.860to the government's desire for her to marry and have kids so there could be an heir like in case0.95
00:14:37.940she was assassinated and also she i mentioned she had medical issues and she did so she's 20 years
00:14:44.200at this point and she'd been having physical symptoms for a long time all of which got worse
00:14:48.620after she formally became queen almost as though stress can exacerbate pre-existing conditions
00:14:55.500so she had excruciating menstrual pain she had frequent headaches fever insomnia fainting and
00:15:01.220heart palpitations so there's a theory this could have been malaria like that was part of it but the
00:15:07.000rest were maybe just health conditions she had that were exacerbated by the stress that she was
00:15:13.280under slash anxiety so as you might imagine you know I don't want to say that like medical science
00:15:21.960has been like a direct straight improvement I don't know if you look at like different things
00:15:26.440in history some stuff is better now than it used to be some stuff is like the same as it used to
00:15:31.660be some stuff is worse than it used to be medicine in general is for the large part better than it
00:15:39.480used to be so at this era she's having all these um health problems clearly exacerbated by the
00:15:46.900stress of like having to fight all the time with axel oxen herna um the doctors were like here
00:15:52.220here's what we have for you it's brandy with peppercorns like not only did that not help but
00:15:57.300also she didn't drink alcohol ever so she wouldn't have drunk that anyway so the men around her were
00:16:03.400just like okay we have this like young woman who is like sick a lot of the time someone's tried to
00:16:08.580kill her she's not married and they we who's going to be the heir like they just needed some
00:16:12.480stability so the war was going on so by this point it's the 28 years war and she wanted to0.71
00:16:19.620end the war now if you look at both of the movies that have been made about her life there's one
00:16:25.520from 1933 starring Greta Garbo called Queen Christina there's a movie from 2015 called The
00:16:31.100Girl King both of those make a lot of the fact that she wanted to end the war and make that
00:16:36.100i mean imagine yourself being a screenwriter and just being like can you write a movie about this
00:16:40.960person this nightmare person and make her be like a sympathetic main character in a movie so they
00:16:48.500both movies really cling to the thing that she wanted to end the war and they try to make it
00:16:52.000seem like she was progressive in that way she was some sort of like pacifist and she might have been
00:16:56.700but also axel oxen herna didn't want to end the war and i suspect that's at least part of why she
00:17:03.000wanted to end it to bother him and also i think she's just like this is boring this war's just
00:17:08.540been going forever it's getting it's taking all of our money can we just like stop being at war
00:17:12.720thanks so i don't know how much this was like her strong moral stance and how much this was just her
00:17:18.380being like can we just like pivot away from this war situation and more towards things that interest
00:17:23.560me such as books a peace conference was announced and axel oxenherna sent his son johan oxenherna
00:17:31.060to lead the swedish negotiations so it's not like i mentioned last time to recap the what became the
00:17:37.68030 years war was basically it's like spain the netherlands it's like all these european countries
00:17:42.140sweden was involved but sweden wasn't like the power behind it like sweden was not i don't think
00:17:47.120in a position to end the war but they would be involved in these peace negotiations so
00:17:51.780johan oxensterna went along to represent sweden and these peace talks went on for three years
00:17:58.480johan oxensterna was not very good at being a diplomat he seemed to be mostly there just to
00:18:04.080enjoy the free food and wine but because christina just like hated the power of axel oxenherna and
00:18:12.380she knew that his diplomat his son was going to maybe not have her best interest in mind she had
00:18:18.060sent along like another diplomat of her own like a parallel diplomat who is also called johan so
00:18:24.240we're just going to call her guy other johan other johan had an impressive record of diplomacy
00:18:29.380behind him and so the two johans were there at the same time kind of in parallel at cross purposes
00:18:36.100like both having had very different instructions of what to do at this peace treaty three-year
00:18:41.320meeting johanna oxensterna had been directed to drag out the negotiations until he got what axel
00:18:46.400wanted other johan had been told by christina to settle for peace at any price at one point other
00:18:53.420johan started spreading news around the peace talks that christina was going to marry axel
00:18:57.740oxenherne's younger son eric why did he spread this rumor i mean i don't know but a violent
00:19:03.340scene ensued in stockholm um when this got back to christina she went she freaked out about it
00:19:09.200she's just like i'm not gonna marry anyone ever what are you doing other johan axel oxenherne
00:19:13.240sent a letter to eric telling him to find a bride and marry as soon as possible just to like calm
00:19:18.060christina down and so eric married some women i guess meanwhile christina i mentioned books this
00:19:24.180is like her thing she's like all about book collecting so she invited a guy called hugo
00:19:30.920grotius to become her librarian but he died along the way and then i guess she hired someone else
00:19:36.960yeah and then she appointed johan there's gonna be so many johans just this is a third johan
00:19:44.080johan feinsheim was appointed as her next librarian she also founded a newspaper
00:19:49.640so in english it means the regular mail times and in swedish it's the ordinary post
00:19:55.720the oldest currently published newspaper in the world although i think it's just an electronic
00:20:01.960newspaper at this point so in terms of significance she did found a newspaper that is still going
00:20:09.180in one way or another so midway through this three years long peace talk the battle of prague
00:20:15.820happened so christina instructed her armies to loot the castle there prague castle so they took
00:20:21.840many of the treasures there like artwork etc and thus did christina acquire her very impressive
00:20:27.800library so she had what they got from the prague castle 760 paintings 170 marble and 100 bronze
00:20:36.800statues 33 000 coins and medallions 600 pieces of crystal 300 scientific instruments along with
00:20:43.520manuscripts and books she was so happy to have all these things and she realized that plundering
00:20:49.180was a quick and inexpensive way to build up a nice collection for herself slash sweden so she
00:20:55.240wanted this collection for herself because she just liked having library museum type objects
00:21:02.020but also she wanted Sweden to be like a cultural center the same way that for instance France was
00:21:08.160so but because she was amassing her collection through plundering there wasn't really a theme
00:21:15.040or any sort of like organizational system since it was all randomly acquired through looting
00:21:20.060it depending on what the people they looted from already owned she really got into this she sent
00:21:24.880agents to Egypt to try and find specific books or antiques and they brought back what they could grab
00:21:31.100when she when they brought back something she didn't want she would make them go back and
00:21:35.660return it so it's like she would just have a shopping list for these people just go to other
00:21:39.120countries and try and loot to get specific objects for her in 1648 she commissioned 35 paintings
00:21:46.700for a ceiling in upsala castle which i guess was a place where she had lived so she was collecting
00:21:52.980art the war finally ended it lasted guess what 30 years the 30 years war ta-da shortly before
00:22:01.780the conclusion of the peace settlement she admitted other johan into her council against
00:22:06.700the wishes of axel oxenherna because he was not an aristocrat but she wanted opposition to the
00:22:12.320aristocracy present and also think i'm just gonna guess she wanted to annoy axel but then axel
00:22:18.260oxen her and his wife died and then she pretended to be sick even though she was often sick in this
00:22:23.740case she seemed to have actually been pretending so she skipped the funeral to bother him um like
00:22:30.500the day after the funeral she was like oh miracle i'm better now and this is just another example
00:22:35.440that made her look petty which she was so she's getting all these books these like this random
00:22:41.440collection of like books and objects like she didn't have kind of like other people her age
00:22:47.080she's what in her early 20s you know she's just like i don't know what my thing is like i'm just
00:22:50.280gonna try all kinds of things until i find my thing she doubled in philosophy history astronomy
00:22:54.940alchemy she also liked music dance she also started an academy so this is inspired by
00:23:03.840cardinal richelieu in france who had founded the academy française in paris she started this formal
00:23:09.580regular meeting of all the scholars and artists who she'd lured into town by like making them
00:23:14.320nobles or whatever and they discussed whatever she told them to talk about she seldom gave her
00:23:19.480opinion at these meetings but rather like to listen to what the others said allegedly this
00:23:24.640wasn't because she was shy about sharing her opinions i think we all know she was not the
00:23:29.060more she didn't like people disagreeing with her so she didn't want to say what her opinion was
00:23:32.400until she heard other people's opinions but the foreign scholars who are used to other kinds of0.66
00:23:36.440academies found this kind of boring and annoying and so they tried to pretend to be sick like they
00:23:42.100tried to get out of going to these meetings because they didn't want to be part of this book club
00:23:45.400but um they were the scholars kept trying to leave or like actually leaving so she kept luring new
00:23:50.760scholars to town because again she 100 stockholm is this very cultured and impressive place0.97
00:23:56.240she invented a thing called the order of the amaranth which was an order of merit which she0.84
00:24:00.960bestowed upon everyone she liked but whoever got this order had to make a vow of perpetual celibacy0.62
00:24:07.160if someone was already widowed they had to promise that once they were widowed
00:24:10.580they would not remarry so we're gonna talk more next episode i think about christina vis-a-vis
00:24:19.620the asexuality aromantic spectrum but what i will just note is that she herself was really
00:24:27.800into the idea of celibacy which could be because she was really really really intent that she was
00:24:35.680never gonna get pregnant because she had seen what happened to her mother and she just did not
00:24:41.640want to do that and or if she was on the asexuality spectrum this could be a way where she's just like
00:24:48.820i don't feel sexual attraction to people and i it annoys me when other people do so let's just
00:24:53.120all say we're celibate and then we can get on with life but that also doesn't she seems to have had
00:24:59.440at least romantic feelings about some people so asexuality potentially i would say she's probably
00:25:04.540not a romantic anyway she was just like really into celibacy and this is just like a little
00:25:08.960foreshadowing about her upcoming real big interest in the catholic religion because lutheran religion
00:25:16.320was like women need to have all the babies women need to have babies that is the point of being
00:25:23.040women and she's just like not the point of being me whereas in the catholic religion like there's
00:25:29.140option to be a nun for instance in the last episode i played an ad for the saint podcast
00:25:34.660eric wong's podcast it's really really interesting he talks about the stories of saints
00:25:38.340and so many of the female catholic saints were virgins and so like virginity or just celibacy
00:25:47.340was really really it was a route for women in catholic places to um have some sort of
00:25:55.260independence i guess and christina saw that as sort of a pathway for herself as well anyway0.82
00:25:58.940she once said to attack me is to attack the sun like she was a confident person or was she like0.96
00:26:08.800she certainly made herself seem confident but i think the more that she like talked herself up to1.00
00:26:15.680like tell everybody that she was brilliant powerful authoritative and tall like no she was not tall
00:26:21.760but she liked she wanted people to think of her that way you know like she stan alexander the
00:26:26.760great but when she was 13 at her birthday party she wore like full armor to dress like alexander
00:26:32.380the great like she just wanted to be this great person and so she just kind of decided she was
00:26:37.280this great person even though she wasn't actually doing great things she liked telling people what
00:26:43.000to do she liked playing power games over people and then she discarded people when she got bored
00:26:47.920but before they could dismiss her which is like a pretty apparent psychological um defense mechanism
00:26:53.260and then comes a chapter that i call the descartes scenario so buckle up so there's a book called
00:27:02.500christina of sweden psychological biography by margaret goldsmith and she wrote by 1650 christina's
00:27:08.720desire to collect men of learning around her as well as books and rare manuscripts became almost
00:27:13.820a mania so she was just like amassing people and also objects and books so to catalog her new
00:27:22.520collection she asked isaac vosius to come to sweden and she also asked her men to purchase
00:27:29.440more books on the market a big thing that she was always looking for was a copy of an alleged book
00:27:34.840called treatise of the three imposters a work bestowing doubt on all organized religion which
00:27:39.700is a book that i think might not actually exist but a rumor had it it did so she sent her like
00:27:44.920people to try and find this book all the time in 1651 the kabbalist manasseh ben israel offered
00:27:51.460to become her agent or librarian for hebrew books and manuscripts and apparently she accepted um
00:27:57.700they discussed his messianic ideas as he had recently spelled them out in his latest book
00:28:01.400hope of israel so she's just like really interested in religious thought and philosophy and discussion
00:28:07.860which brings us to renee descartes a medium famous philosopher who you might have heard of
00:28:14.740so he's from france her favorite place but he had left there i think because of his ideas so he was
00:28:20.560a mathematician and a pioneer of new scientific learning her scholars admired him and so she did
00:28:25.800too and she decided that she wanted to add him to her collection of scholars she had connections to
00:28:31.140his brother-in-law who she ordered to get Descartes to send her an unpublished copy of his not yet
00:28:36.520published book metaphysical meditations and Descartes was like intrigued by the interest of
00:28:43.180this Swedish king slash queen he had already been impressed by the intelligence and scholarship of
00:28:49.480another queen elizabeth of bohemia who aka the daughter of anne of denmark from a previous
00:28:56.820episode elizabeth of bohemia kind of was the things that christina thought she was0.55
00:29:03.740descartes was just like well you know lady monarchs can be cool sometimes but once he
00:29:09.840started exchanging letters with christina he was like oh no i don't not like that so he exchanged
00:29:14.860letters for a while but sometimes she didn't get back to him for as much as 15 months because she
00:29:19.180was like her interest just waxed and waned and she was also not a good pen pal but eventually
00:29:24.060she invited him to sweden and he was like pass because he knew it was cold there and he doesn't
00:29:29.520like being in a cold weather um and also he's catholic and the country is full of lutherans
00:29:34.320who like don't like catholics but she did not take no for an answer and in fact she sent a small
00:29:40.260militia to where he was living in holland to quote collect him another word you might use would be
00:29:46.820kidnap him to bring him back along with 2 000 of his books so he was basically kidnapped and
00:29:53.340brought back to sweden which it took like six hard weeks of travel by land and sea to get there
00:29:58.100and they arrived just as winter was beginning which is great for a guy who doesn't like cold
00:30:02.460weather christina went to meet him right away but and she's disappointed he didn't look like what
00:30:07.180she thought a great band should look like but she still lavished him with gifts yeah she's about to
00:30:12.000turned 23 and was planning a grand court ballet and she was involved in all the planning because
00:30:17.420note Christina I think I have more details on this later but she was really into ballet she
00:30:22.200like took ballet lessons she had previously had other ballets performed and she would like0.96
00:30:27.100put herself in the lead role of the ballets even though she was allegedly not good at ballet but I
00:30:32.080love her energy about it she wanted Descartes to help plan the ballet and he was like I'm literally
00:30:38.180descartes like why would i help you plan your ballet descartes managed to escape having to
00:30:42.860perform in the ballet or compose its music but he may or may not have written the libretto like the
00:30:48.400play like the story of it apparently the libretto was not a masterpiece and he made several attempts
00:30:54.020to destroy it but never succeeded the ballet was received well and he was commissioned to write
00:30:58.780another play telling the story of an icelandic princess for christina to star in anyway he also
00:31:03.760began tutoring her so he began the dates here become important he began tutoring her on december
00:31:09.18019th and with christina's strict schedule he was invited to her cold and drafty castle at 5 a.m
00:31:15.040um three times a week to discuss philosophy and religion um it became clear after the first few
00:31:21.340meetings that they did not like each other um also these meetings were held in unheated space
00:31:27.260and because she was the king he wasn't allowed to wear a hat around her so he was just getting
00:31:32.300really cold which we know he didn't like by the end of the month of december he had fallen ill
00:31:37.220with influenza he refused the help of the swedish doctors who were probably just like brandy with
00:31:43.260peppercorns but also because he was a doctor and so he prescribed himself a medicine of his own
00:31:47.580making that was a hot drink of brewed tobacco guess what that doesn't cure influenza so now
00:31:54.920it's january 1650 the coldest month of the coldest year of an exceptionally cold century because
00:32:01.140we're in like a petite ice age just for the record and i know from our official swedish
00:32:07.680cultural ambassador kim who has been helping me prepare this well just helping with pronunciation
00:32:14.260and stuff it was just um midsummer in sweden and she sent me a picture like the days just because
00:32:20.620of how far north they are in sweden like they were celebrating midsummer and the sun basically dipped
00:32:26.060slightly but never actually went down like the day it was like a 24 hour day in summer so in
00:32:31.640winter like in january it's so cold and also just imagine it's like probably dark almost all day
00:32:37.500descartes not having a good time by january 15th he wrote he'd only seen christina four or five
00:32:43.520times so he started tuning her december 19th and by a month later like they're supposed to meet
00:32:48.320every day and he'd only seen her four or five times long enough for him to get this temporal
00:32:53.200chill and then he developed pneumonia and then he died r.i.p descartes christina was shocked by his
00:33:01.800death and made plans for a magnificent funeral after which he would be laid beside all the kings
00:33:05.780of sweden so that's the descartes scenario so there's a lot going on in her life and like the
00:33:13.840annoying sort of like feedback static noise in the back of all of it was these men always around
00:33:18.820her being like she has to marry so we can have an heir but she had found a loophole around that
00:33:23.980because if she if she named her own heir like what elizabeth the first did when she named0.99
00:33:29.300james her heir then maybe she wouldn't have to get married so she announced that she wanted to
00:33:33.080name her heir kg that's right her cousin carl gustav but to do this she needed the permission
00:33:39.280of the rickstag which is like the ministers the like parliament and they were like oh sorry you're
00:33:45.800saying you're, you're marrying KG. And she was like, no, I just want to name KG a person five
00:33:50.960years older than me as my heir. And they were like, are you insane? And she's like, no, I'm0.98
00:33:58.080lucid. And this is what I want to do. They tried to change her mind. And she was like, this is a
00:34:02.760quote. It is impossible for me to marry. I'm absolutely certain about it. I do not intend
00:34:07.380to give you reasons. My character is simply not suited to marriage. I've prayed God fervently
00:34:12.060that my inclination might change but I simply cannot marry and they were like uh not approved
00:34:18.900but then in March a guy from Scotland who had served in the army with her dad Gustav came to
00:34:24.540ask for help because simultaneous to all this over in England um this was the Oliver Cromwell
00:34:31.360scenario which is where this guy called Oliver Cromwell I don't remember the details but he
00:34:36.660kicked out the king and threw him in jail and was like now I'm gonna be not the king but basically
00:34:41.700the king um and so this guy from scotland came over and he was like can sweden help us like
00:34:45.700rescue charles the first but you know it took a while to get from scotland to sweden so by the
00:34:52.220time this guy got there charles the first had already been executed christina was moved by this
00:34:57.120because you know she saw being king is this like divine like god chose the people to be kings and
00:35:03.180so it's like oh my god like someone killed a king like that means someone could kill me um she was
00:35:08.020like i want to personally help punish oliver cromo and re-establish monarchy in england
00:35:11.920but then she changed her mind and sent oliver cromo a letter being like welcome to being the
00:35:16.060ruler of a european country and in fact she's one of the first monarchs to send him greetings
00:35:20.260but this kind of made the rickstag feel like we really need an heir like if kings are being killed
00:35:27.980like something could happen to christina and like if christina is executed who will be our leader
00:35:33.120so they gave in and let her name kg as her heir but they still thought just because they couldn't
00:35:38.620wrap their head around like a woman who didn't want to get married and have babies they're like
00:35:42.920well this must just be a formality and she will eventually marry him guess what she never did
00:35:48.880meanwhile we're in this petite ice age sweden not having a lot of crops in this era bad weather
00:35:54.840brought about a really bad crop yield a flower shortage uh things were really cold and bad in
00:36:01.620sweden but meanwhile christina with an energy that i can only compare to like emperor nero who
00:36:08.360allegedly played the fiddle as rome burned around him she kept busy preparing for her coronation
00:36:13.760she's just like well everything's terrible like everybody's doing like it's kind of maria and
00:36:18.660twinette vibes a little bit like things are just like real bad in sweden people are like starving
00:36:23.420and dying and she's like let's prepare my coronation so because she'd been king now for
00:36:29.280a few years but the war had prevented her from having an official coronation moment but now the
00:36:33.280war was over this wasn't just going to be like let's like have a church service where a crown
00:36:37.700is put on her head but this is going to be also like a huge event not just like for people of
00:36:42.440sweden to like enjoy you know like how in um the uk they just had the big like platinum jibuli for
00:36:47.580the queen it's a whole like let's celebrate like the whole idea of monarchy but also this is like
00:36:52.180a big party to announce to the rest of the world um what christina had been working on like sweden
00:36:56.800is a cultural hub just as good as France but then Christina fell ill which is worrisome but she got
00:37:05.720better again so again just like she has she has a propensity to illness and she's living this very
00:37:11.740stressful situation whether you like her or not I think we can all agree this is a stressful0.55
00:37:15.900situation for her to be in anyway party planning was in full swing fireworks and a decorative
00:37:22.060cardboard castle arrived on ships but while everybody was busily planning this coronation
00:37:28.340situation she had been planning something very secret very sexy of her own that's right a secret
00:37:38.040sexy catholic conversion not unlike Anne of Denmark so this is actually secretly another
00:37:45.580reason she insisted on naming KG as her heir because she planned shortly after her coronation
00:37:50.140to abdicate and become a catholic she'd been secretly confiding in the french ambassador
00:37:56.760letting him know how much she hated being king and how much she didn't like being lutheran
00:38:00.620and so this ambassador discreetly began spreading the news to the catholic countries
00:38:05.280but nobody in sweden knew so as part of her escape plan she then demanded the kg be not
00:38:13.840just named her heir but also made a hereditary prince of the realm this would mean his children
00:38:18.460would then become heir to the throne after him so he would start like a new dynasty if and when he
00:38:22.560became king this would mean the end of the vasa dynasty started so many years ago by gustav the
00:38:28.980first with the ski ski revolution which you'll remember from the sicily of sweden episode um
00:38:36.040also people were like not super into it because kg so remember he is the son of aunt princess
00:38:41.520katerina but his dad was german and so the people were like do we want like a half german king
00:38:47.200i guess you're gonna get one so christina this is where like she had been having like little baby
00:38:53.440conspiracy espionage moments before this but this is where she actually did like a really good job0.76
00:38:59.340of nobody in sweden knowing she's doing this so she savvily played the three parts of the rick's
00:39:04.600dog the like ministers against one another tricking them all into agreeing with each other
00:39:08.880and by the time they realized she had tricked them it was too late kg was now not only her heir but
00:39:13.880he was going to become a hereditary prince of the realm so now it's the coronation secret farewell
00:39:20.120party the coronation began on october 22nd 1650 christina wore a french robe purple velvet lined
00:39:27.680with ermine trimmed with pearls and laden with circles of solid gold crowns this robe was 12
00:39:33.980feet long and so heavy that she had to ride in a carriage rather than riding on horseback
00:39:38.820traditionally because it was so heavy a lot of velvet moments in this part of this season of0.96
00:39:44.700this podcast and in fact later monarchs when they ran out of money would remove gold crowns
00:39:49.400from this robe and melt them down because it was like so expensive beneath the robe she wore an
00:39:55.380outfit that she had made bespoke in paris because she loves french fashion so it was a gown
00:40:01.120embroidered all over with gold thread and pearls and precious stones she rode into the city in an
00:40:06.060open carriage upholstered in red velvet and silk with silver and gold embroidery the carriage was
00:40:10.560a gift from kg drawn by six white horses and beside it walked 60 noblemen dressed in yellow
00:40:16.300and in fact the procession there was so many people in it it was so long that when the first
00:40:20.820carriages arrived in town the last ones had not yet left the city that i was leaving from so the
00:40:26.020whole procession was 10.5 kilometers or 6.5 miles long of a parade her own horse rode alongside the
00:40:33.820carriage wearing a pearl encrusted side saddle of purple velvet and a bridle reins and stirrups of
00:40:39.560enamel and silver gilt studded with diamonds like the country is like dying of starvation and she's
00:40:46.460like oh hey do you like my horse's new reins they have diamonds on them and guess who was there her
00:40:51.220mother maria eleonora followed behind this procession um and behind her were six camels
00:40:57.480a team of reindeer, and 12 extravagantly saddled mules. All I can say is missing from this
00:41:04.100is the presence of llamas, but camels are just as good. So this was a multi-day coronation
00:41:12.120extravaganza. The actual crown being put on head happened on October 30th. For this event,
00:41:18.580she wore a simple white silk dress beneath the 12-foot robe made of solid gold. KG entered the
00:41:25.400abbey for the coronation behind her in a crimson cap with a tall spiked crown on top of it magnus
00:41:31.660her former crush now her like cousin-in-law because he married her cousin maria euphrasini
00:41:38.660magnus was in the procession as was maria eleonora her mom she was at the back due to her whole like
00:41:45.980treason slash betrayal where she tried to like sell out sweden to denmark and she never apologized
00:41:51.720for that but whatever so christina sat on a throne and after being anointed with holy oils the
00:41:57.180archbishop placed the crown on her head and it was proclaimed queen christina has been crowned
00:42:02.000and no other person just so there's no confusion because the whole thing about like her being
00:42:07.400crowned and then kg being named her heir and hereditary prince like was confusing a lot of
00:42:13.620people they're like is she marrying him is he like co-king with her but no no other person
00:42:19.880christina the only king so then she processed out into a second carriage and she traveled back
00:42:25.360to the castle where she was greeted by an 1800 gun salute now this detail you're like oh wow
00:42:33.440that's like a lot of gun salute but remember this is like 1650 it took two hours to fire this many
00:42:39.360guns because they were oldie timey guns so it just kind of went on and on i guess banquet huge
00:42:45.360festivities went on for weeks fountains at the marketplace splashed out wine wine fountains
00:42:52.160a whole roast ox was served and there was a firework and then a themed parade called
00:42:58.140the illustrious splendors of felicity which is a great name meanwhile sweden was still0.98
00:43:06.560broke as fuck this coronation in fact put them more in debt because that cost a lot of money0.95
00:43:12.740to make the fountains run with wine for three weeks but she didn't care because she'd gotten0.99
00:43:19.000what she wanted kg was her heir and now a hereditary prince so she was paving the way
00:43:23.540for her to make her intentions public she was going to consciously uncouple from being king0.60
00:43:29.140of sweden the first non-catholic she told was magnus her cousin's husband slash her former
00:43:35.320crush and then she wrote to her other cousins with the news kg was horrified i don't know at
00:43:40.960this point he was so just like manipulated by her for so long he probably thought that this whole
00:43:45.660thing was he probably thought she's going to marry him he's just like wait so i'm going to be the
00:43:49.100king like what's going on everyone she told was like this is a bad idea and also it puts us the
00:43:54.420men in your life at risk somehow once you think of us the men and i have to say lads it's not about
00:44:00.180you so she tried to convince kg to marry a random german princess because she figured that maybe
00:44:06.360this would all go over better if he had a wife already but he was like no what is happening
00:44:10.740finally she informed the senate of her decision and they were like uh no sorry there's no like
00:44:15.520you can't quit being king like you took an oath like this is your job until you die like she
00:44:20.860hasn't been born yet but like look at queen elizabeth ii of england she's like 96 years old
00:44:25.280and like she's not abdicating so like why would you anyway she tried to get kg to help her convince
00:44:31.040the senate but he refused because he did not support this plan even though it made him the
00:44:34.560king which is interesting in fact the senators offered to bring in like support they're like
00:44:38.860you know it's like if someone's trying to quit a job they're like you have too much in your
00:44:42.000workload well how are you assistants we can get we can outsource some of your work they were like
00:44:46.200we can bring in support so being king is less work for you but she was like listen i will never marry
00:44:50.320and also i'm sick so like get over it this is happening she summoned them for yet another
00:44:55.960meeting which lasted for five hours and eventually they won she did not and then the emotional stuff
00:45:02.460coincided with her health issues and she collapsed at supper falling unconscious for an hour with
00:45:07.340such a weak pulse people thought she might be dead this is where if you're like a writer of
00:45:11.840historical fiction write a story where she like became a vampire you know i think you could like
00:45:17.960lean into the like lesbian vampire stuff it could be an interesting little fan fiction maybe it
00:45:22.060exists i don't know let me know if it does anyway she didn't die but bear in mind so her decision
00:45:28.300to abdicate wasn't just because she wanted to become catholic and side note i think she mostly
00:45:33.280wanted to become catholic just because for celibacy reasons not that she wanted to become a
00:45:38.240nun but just because she liked that catholics valued celibacy no so a major reason and like
00:45:45.540as evidenced by her like collapsing and like seeming dead out of like the stress of it all
00:45:49.800like this was for self-care reasons so she'd reigned for almost 20 years like starting from
00:45:54.920being a kid she's like 26 at this point she's working like 10 hours a day she suffered from
00:46:00.140high blood pressure complained about bad eyesight pain in her neck a french doctor named pierre
00:46:06.040bordelay arrived in stockholm and get ready to be surprised unlike most doctors of the time
00:46:11.940he had no faith in bloodletting he also wasn't recommending you know brandy with peppercorns
00:46:17.820instead wait for it he he saw what was going on with her and he ordered she gets sufficient
00:46:24.560sleep warm baths and healthy meals she was only 25 and he was like I prescribe that you need to
00:46:31.960take more pleasure in life he told her you need to stop studying and working so hard remove the
00:46:37.680books from your apartment so you're not like studying books all the time although he also
00:46:43.060did show her the 16 erotic sonnets of Pietro Arentino which he kept secretly in his luggage
00:46:47.820I guess he's like you know like for us it's like maybe like don't look at your phone after like
00:46:52.6607 p.m. he's like after 7 p.m. maybe don't read these like super intense religious doctrines but
00:46:58.240maybe instead read these erotic sonnets just like wind down for the night and i have to say this is
00:47:05.000shockingly good advice can i just say again for all of us living through you know i don't know
00:47:13.860how many people listen to this are literally girl kings but you know we're dealing with pandemics
00:47:18.620dealing with supreme court decisions we're dealing with like um war all over the place just like
00:47:24.700shitty horrible stuff happening all the time you can't even keep up with all of it so you know what
00:47:29.360like let's try getting sufficient sleep warm baths healthy meals take more pleasure in life
00:47:35.620you know just like truly like Pierre Bordelais I'm not gonna say that this yet but like he's a
00:47:42.040strong contender for the Lady Jane Seymour Outstanding Supporting Character Award just for
00:47:46.740like this unfathomably good advice for a person in 1652 anyway so everyone thought that these two
00:47:56.080were lovers because she received him alone in her bedroom and he sometimes stayed the night and
00:48:00.760maybe they were i don't know but maybe it was more just like she's like can you stay in my room while
00:48:06.620i'm asleep so i don't like accidentally start like reading you know like religious books and he would
00:48:13.000just like keep an eye out for her or something. Anyway, Pierre Bordelais, a good guy in the
00:48:19.420complete opposite direction. At around the same time, there was a guy named Arnold Johann
00:48:22.820Messenius. Arnold Johann or AJ, as we're going to call him, had been in prison for 19 years by
00:48:29.680Christine's dad for seditious writings, which basically meant he like wrote stuff,
00:48:34.420probably pamphlets that were anti-Gustaf, anti-monarchy. And he had a son called Arnold
00:48:40.200who grew up in jail with him because for some reason his wife got to visit and then she had
00:48:45.040I'm not sure why the child was raised in jail but anyway so we've got AJ and we've got his son
00:48:49.180Arnold Jr. So he'd been in jail for 19 years and Christina to piss off Axel Oxenherna decided to
00:48:56.280free AJ. She not only freed him but also made him a noble gave him lots of money and appointed him0.70
00:49:01.600with a job historiographer royal. He had not changed his mind like he still was against the
00:49:07.080monarchy but all that christina knew to do was to troll axel oxen herner all the time so one day
00:49:12.780kg her cousin was off hunting or whatever and he was sent an anonymous letter encouraging him to
00:49:19.240usurp christina and her ministers and in order to do this like kill her if necessary kg was like0.97
00:49:26.100what the fuck so he's not gonna be in on this conspiracy theory because if you don't remember0.99
00:49:31.260he's still like unrequited in love with her so he told christina right away and she was like oh1.00
00:49:37.260god damn it i bet it's fucking aj and of course it was anyway she's like oh fuck this is a big0.99
00:49:42.560deal but kg was like or is it just some locker room talk and christina was gonna like arrest aj0.99
00:49:49.640but kg first wrote to aj warning him you know you're gonna be arrested like maybe just flee
00:49:55.060town for a minute like you know christina women and their emotions but aj so this is like not a
00:50:00.180great mom for kg if anyone out there is a kg slash christina shipper i'm so sorry anyway aj did not
00:50:06.960flee town and in fact as they further investigated it found out that he had some of his allies in
00:50:12.400this or some of the greatest men in the land were on board with this like less usurp and potentially
00:50:17.860murder christina situation so this was like major christina like she couldn't comment on this
00:50:25.480publicly because then like the ordinary people would know that all these high up important
00:50:29.520which people were like didn't like her as king so aj was quietly arrested as was his son arnold0.99
00:50:36.620jr um the other suspects remained free because they were too important to arrest no wonder she's1.00
00:50:42.860having these like nervous breakdown health issues if like everyone around her like hates and wants1.00
00:50:47.160to get rid of her and all she wants to do is vibe out and like talk about philosophy with people
00:50:52.140from france eventually under torture both aj and arnold jr confessed so arnold had written the
00:50:59.240letter but aj knew about the letter to keep things quiet like they didn't want the public to know
00:51:04.440so this didn't go to a normal trial but instead like the whole trial was just heard by christina
00:51:08.840and the ministers and both men were condemned to death so aj was beheaded arnold jr was broken
00:51:15.800on the wheel his limbs beaten to pieces as the wooden frame revolved and the body was left
00:51:20.560exposed at a crossroads which is like why you don't make plans in writing to murder the king
00:51:28.780aj had bequeathed his collection of books to christina which were like because this is like
00:51:33.900the 1600s books are like really um expensive and rare so this was like a pretty major bequest and
00:51:40.780he begged her to ensure his widow and daughters would be provided for like by these books like0.99
00:51:44.940maybe by the sale of these books christina was like fuck you she kept the books and ignored the1.00
00:51:49.700women who fell into poverty and although kg was i have to say not on her side entirely in this0.98
00:51:56.780scenario she gave him a reward for turning in the letter and and the the reward was a portrait of
00:52:02.900herself surrounded by diamonds that's i feel like what could be more christina than that we're going
00:52:09.380to talk about this more next time too but throughout all of this one of her major hobbies and pastimes
00:52:13.620was having portraits painted of herself and various dramatic scenes like she's she feels
00:52:18.520contemporary to me in that way like i think she would be on instagram just like gorgeous post
00:52:24.040pictures all the time anyway so the most valuable thing she could think of a portrait of herself0.90
00:52:29.260surrounded by diamonds like that's she would love to get it so why wouldn't kg and kg who like still
00:52:35.040unrequited loved her it's like oh hi i'm never gonna marry you i've just been like playing around
00:52:38.900with your like mind for like the last decade here's a glamorous portrait of me surrounded by
00:52:44.180diamonds thanks i don't know i'm gonna say how could i not stan you do you but i'm like all in
00:52:52.320and christina at this point anyway this whole like potential murder plot brought christina and axel
00:52:57.700together in that sort of like the enemy of my enemy is my friend sort of situation for the
00:53:01.920first time in years the two of them were like not arguing and then just to sort of wrap up this
00:53:07.740portion um three years later christina rode a horse past the crossroads where the like
00:53:13.460decaying skeleton of arnold jr was um and she ordered the body to be taken down for burial0.99
00:53:18.520so like okay anyway so all this stuff is happening murder plots people yelling at her to have babies
00:53:26.640like her health issues Bordelais being like you know like does this spark joy for you Christina
00:53:32.880and she just truly decided being queen no longer sparked joy and it was time to yeet the crown
00:53:38.700so during the whole like AJ scenario she had left town both for safety reasons and also because
00:53:44.960there was plague at that time in Stockholm so again if we're just comparing her situation to
00:53:50.920like the chaos we're currently living through I feel like every episode I've ever done there's
00:53:55.900like a combination of some sort of like pandemic some sort of war I don't know I find looking back
00:54:05.660at these stories of people living through chaos and finding ways to still like be themselves and
00:54:11.460have fun and like maybe make things a bit better i find it reassuring in a way anyway so she came
00:54:19.660back to stockholm a year later all of her scholar pals had left the royal court because she wasn't
00:54:25.380there to like have her like little academy book club meeting so it was now even more boring than
00:54:28.840before summer was turning to fall and like descartes r.i.p she was like i cannot stay another0.89
00:54:35.240winter in goddamn sweden where it's like 24 hours of night and it's cold and i hate it here0.79
00:54:40.940which is interesting too because remember how her mother hated Sweden and they were like we can't0.99
00:54:45.740let her be raised by her mother we can't let her be influenced by her mother but she just came on
00:54:50.380her own to also hate Sweden no tea no shade to people in Sweden especially her cultural ambassador
00:54:57.220Kim but I don't think it's Sweden itself she hates I think she just knows as long as she's
00:55:02.860in Sweden she has to be queen of Sweden and being queen of Sweden is this is not making her happy
00:55:08.600it's making her have horrible health concerns it's people yelling at her all the time and she's just
00:55:14.360like what in order to be happy she has to leave sweden i don't think she hated sweden like her
00:55:20.020mother did so at this point she's 26 years old tired of being peer pressured into marrying and
00:55:24.700having babies she liked how the catholic church revered celibacy and how she assumed they wouldn't
00:55:29.340make her get married and have babies plus she thought that rome sounded glamorous and cool
00:55:33.960it was warm there there was art learned people but the thing is she wanted to stop being like
00:55:39.920king of sweden but she didn't want to stop being like a king so she figured she could just kind of
00:55:46.780like yeet the crown go to rome and just be kind of like a freelance king not attached to any country
00:55:53.100so a special envoy from spain named antonio pimental came around secretly and his job was
00:56:01.380to kind of pave the way for her to sneak out of sweden by abdicating and becoming catholic
00:56:05.540she kept him with her all the time rumors began to spread that they were lovers i just feel like
00:56:10.580i don't know this has given me sort of cara delevine type vibes where it's like anyone
00:56:16.500anytime cara delevine is seen with anyone in the world it's like are they lovers but the thing is
00:56:22.040with cara delevine i think they are anyway anytime christina is with any man people think
00:56:27.920their lovers i just need to tell you about antonio pimental for a minute because the 1933
00:56:35.440movie makes him the love interest which is insane so i talked a bit about there's these movies where
00:56:43.520they're like what if christina was this person who just all she wanted was peace and like
00:56:47.860where it's like she did but she's also a nightmare person just a sec so in the movie so antonio
00:56:56.300pimental de prado y los bianco was a spanish officer um i'm going to post a picture on
00:57:04.820instagram real good looking long curly hair fabulous mustache anyway so he went to sweden
00:57:13.100um to try and pave the way for her to yeet the crown so he arrived in real life along with his
00:57:19.300wife children and an entourage of 50 people um he quickly became her confidant they had
00:57:25.300secret negotiations which gave rise to rumors what's great is that when he left he asked for
00:57:32.080a large portrait of Christina to give as a gift to the king of Spain and the painting is amazing
00:57:38.940I will put a picture of this on Instagram as well because Christina loves a dramatic painting of
00:57:44.060herself it's a painting of herself riding side saddle on a horse the horse is like rearing back
00:57:50.120she's like holding a sword for some reason there's like a parrot sitting on the horse's tail
00:57:53.980it's an amazing portrait it's not started by diamonds but it's just like she loves
00:57:59.160a dramatic portrait of herself anyway so in the movie the 1933 movie queen christina
00:58:04.060starring greta garbo antonio pimental meets queen christina in a sequence where she
00:58:10.380is um dressed like a man and she's slumming anonymously around the countryside and he's like
00:58:17.840oh ho you're a man but then they have to like there's just one bed situation happens where
00:58:22.780they like go to an inn and they have to share a room and that's where she's like but i'm a woman
00:58:27.400and then they like fall in love but she doesn't say i'm also the queen but then he goes to stock1.00
00:58:33.580him to meet the queen and realizes like oh my god is that woman who i just fucked and then she um0.92
00:58:38.680the movie suggests that she abdicates in order to be with him although the movie then has him0.96
00:58:44.500dying in a sword fight in her arms in real life he had dealings with the queen for a couple more
00:58:51.080years and he continued to serve spain until the early 1670s so that's what that movie's like what
00:58:57.740i have to say about that movie 1933 queen christina's turn greta garbo beautiful looking
00:59:02.660greta garbo looks fantastic in it and greta garbo i think famously i'm not sure if famously then is
00:59:10.220this but she's like known to have been bisexual and so she really even though the movie was like
00:59:16.180not a lesbian love story about her and ebba she really played the subtext in the scenes of her
00:59:21.260with ebba like she played it like they were flat out like lovers even though they crammed this like
00:59:27.760heterosexual love story onto this story of a person who i don't know she was
00:59:33.780anyway that movie if you're in the u.s it's on hbo max and it is worth seeing just for the
00:59:40.000costumes and how glamorous Greta Garbo looks in pants anyway yeah so he kind of helped pay the0.99
00:59:46.180way for that February 1654 she told the council that she was going to abdicate fuck you I won't0.98
00:59:51.460change my mind Axel Oxenhern had told her she would regret her decision within a few months0.98
00:59:55.540but they discussed her proposals so she'd asked for 200,000 rix dollars a year but instead she
01:00:02.020received the income derived from some land she was secured a pension and revenue from some
01:00:09.500swedish towns she also ensured she'd still be considered queen slash king but just without a
01:00:15.240realm so she would no longer be king slash queen of sweden but she was still a queen literally
01:00:21.400because she felt she was by god and stuff she believed in her god-given sovereignty which she1.00
01:00:26.780believed she carried within herself the senators tried to add a stipulation that she had to remain
01:00:31.020in sweden but she refused and after three weeks the agreement was signed as previously discussed
01:00:37.760she refused to distinguish between the assets of the state and her own possessions so like even
01:00:44.640though she had acquired all these books and things like while she was queen so they're technically
01:00:48.160objects that belong to sweden she sent off thousands of her books along with a horde of
01:00:52.640paintings and manuscripts medals jewels and other valuables that the jesuits promised to keep safe
01:00:57.720for her in rome this was partially because she didn't trust sweden to actually pay her her income
01:01:03.040in pension especially once they learned that she was becoming catholic and she might need to pawn
01:01:07.920these things later and then june 6 1654 she officially abdicated in a kind of reverse
01:01:14.600coronation ceremony so she had been coronated in what was october 1650 for like three and a half
01:01:22.880years later she had her reverse coronation so she put on that robe again because like you know
01:01:28.640if there's an occasion to wear your 12 foot velvet robe with gold on it like do it um with a crown0.92
01:01:35.080upon her head so she gave a little speech and then removed or requested the crown be removed from her0.94
01:01:40.880head but nobody came forward to do it so then she commanded two of her favorites to come to remove1.00
01:01:44.980it they wouldn't do it until she like forced them to others came forward to remove her royal robes0.94
01:01:49.680until she stood there alone in a simple white dress no crown no robes just christina freelance1.00
01:01:56.360queen and then she curtsied and just like got the fuck out of there she had a medallion struck to0.50
01:02:01.760mark kg's coronation which read in latin from god and christina so he'd never forget who made him0.93
01:02:08.740king like god but also christina six months after the abdication axel oxenherna died allegedly from
01:02:16.320not being able to bear the thought of the abdication after he'd worked so hard to make
01:02:21.220sweden a more successful country although he had been ill for some time of influenza so he probably
01:02:26.740died of influenza and the fact that he didn't have that french guy being his doctor and the
01:02:30.980doctor's probably giving him brandy and peppercorns anyway we're gonna pause there with the yeet of
01:02:38.200the crown and next week we're gonna talk about christina's post sweden life what if i told you
01:02:44.900she's going to meet the pope is the pope going to give her a pants exemption as had previously
01:02:51.480been given to catalina you'll have to just tune in next week to find out yeah i don't know i always
01:02:57.260feel funny ending an episode without scoring and stuff but like there's a lot more christina to get
01:03:02.300into and that's part of why i appreciate the story you know there's so many stories of women who just
01:03:08.860like i don't know got into a situation and it's like and then 40 years passed and then they died
01:03:14.340but christina it's like there's always something new happening and like she didn't she didn't
01:03:19.180abdicate and then go off and like be a nun and live peacefully for the next whatever many years0.92
01:03:24.040like she kept being a shit disturber nightmare person just like being herself and like i don't0.95
01:03:32.600know if it's just like the mood i'm in today but i'm just like yes christina yes like she just0.99
01:03:36.940wanted to like read books like learn some new stuff just like fuck around with people's minds0.86
01:03:43.500like like being queen was not for her and i appreciate that she found a way to stop having1.00
01:03:50.840to do that while still getting kind of a lot of the privileges of being a queen anyway she figured
01:03:55.480some stuff out and next week we'll see uh what she does next so um you can always leave me a
01:04:02.600message um if you go to instagram or at vulgar history pod my dms are open there if you have
01:04:08.560corrections or suggestions of people to talk about on the show you can also send me that stuff
01:04:12.320at vulgarhistory.com there's a little form there to suggest people that you think that i might want
01:04:17.500to discuss on the podcast and stuff like that if you go there's a link in the show notes to
01:04:22.420my page at bookshop.org which is like if you want to buy the veronica buckley biography of christina
01:04:28.020for instance to get some more details about all this stuff if you use the link from there from
01:04:32.500the show notes then a little bit of money goes towards vulgar history and i appreciate that
01:04:36.380because that helps me keep doing this show um you can also help support the show and also get some
01:04:43.440like fabulous ensembles to wear some mugs tote bags at vulgarhistory.store use code tits out for0.85
01:04:50.680free us shipping or tits out 10 for 10 off i'm still trying to figure out like i want a christina
01:04:56.640based design in the shop but i'm not sure what it is yet i mean a strong contender is just like
01:05:02.920not like other girl kings or that sort of thing but i don't know i i know there's something here
01:05:09.920in christina so that's something else tell me your ideas for what the christina merch slogan
01:05:13.660should be and i'll announce it in the next episode i guess probably the way timing is working out
01:05:18.760um you can also support me and the podcast at patreon.com and foster writer so that's where
01:05:24.680if you pledge at least a dollar a month you get early access to new podcast episodes and then
01:05:31.360also if you pledge at least two dollars a month i have polls you can help me decide some you know
01:05:36.440future topics for the podcast if you pledge five dollars a month or more then you get access to all
01:05:42.140the super secret special patreon podcasts there's so this asshole where i talk about famous men from
01:05:47.180history the one i'm going to be doing this month is about alexander the great christina's icon who
01:05:54.200i didn't know much about before i was researching but guess what he had little to nothing to do with
01:05:59.840what christina ended up being like or doing other than being i guess a young person who became a
01:06:03.720king um and then also on patreon for the the super secret special podcasts you can also get
01:06:08.860vulgar peace theater i'm joined by lana wood johnson and alison epstein we talk about costume
01:06:13.620dramas and um in a week or two we're going to be talking about the 2015 movie the girl king
01:06:20.240so not the greater girl about 1933 christina one but the 2015 one which really makes it seem kind
01:06:25.620of like she might have abdicated out of love for ebba spare which is also a bold claim i'm on
01:06:32.100instagram more than i'm on twitter but i am on twitter and i do check it at vulgar history and0.84
01:06:37.060god damn it it's a fucking weird time to be alive but i'm glad that we're all here together0.99
01:06:43.420enjoying this podcast and keep your pants on tits out talk to you next time0.99
01:06:55.620The war is over and both sides lost.0.99
01:07:09.900Kingdoms were reduced to cinders and armies scattered like bones in the dust.
01:07:15.580Now the survivors claw to what's left of a broken world,
01:07:19.760praying the darkness chooses someone else tonight.
01:07:22.620But in the shadow dark, the darkness always wins.
01:07:27.380This is old school adventuring at its most cruel.