Vulgar History - International, part 16： Kristina of Sweden is a Freelance Queen (pt 3⧸4)

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00:00:59.640 Hello and welcome to Vulgar History. My name is Anne Foster. This is a feminist women's history

00:01:08.100 comedy podcast and this is part three of what has truly turned into an ongoing saga of Christina

00:01:16.100 of Sweden. I would suggest if this is the first ever episode of Vulgar History you've ever opened

00:01:22.860 to listen to, you know, welcome and but also you probably want to start Christina's story

00:01:28.840 at the beginning in order to to to understand not just like i think you could listen to this

00:01:34.140 and understand what's going on it's a very self-contained narrative of what happens with

00:01:38.140 her but you'll just like get the fuller context of things of like how did she wind up being a queen

00:01:44.040 with no kingdom like what's the situation who is kg you know like that stuff will be explained

00:01:48.940 although try to catch you up the same way that like in the sweet valley high books at the beginning

00:01:53.520 they're always like jessica and elizabeth were very different you know one of them was like this

00:01:57.180 and one of them was like this um as we get new characters or people are introduced in the story

00:02:02.920 i'll try to like give you the backstory of who they are because honestly like it's hard for me

00:02:06.240 to remember sometimes one of the challenges with researching this one has been that she 0.99

00:02:11.480 we talked about this a lot in the previous episodes hated women she spent time almost

00:02:16.720 exclusively with men and usually when i'm researching these things i can pretty easily

00:02:22.020 skip over all the stuff about all of the men because it generally isn't important to the

00:02:27.780 stories that I tell in here I'm often talking about the women you know here's her terrible

00:02:30.440 husband or whatever but there's a lot of men in this story and a lot of them recur so I've had

00:02:39.280 to learn about them and so I'll try to explain as they come along who is who yeah my cat Hepburn

00:02:46.700 is here to help out with this recording. Welcome. Welcome. Are you a fan of Christina of Sweden?

00:02:54.140 Guess who's not? A lot of the listeners. I feel funny to be recording part three of Christina

00:03:01.440 of Sweden. We've only had like a three-parter a couple times before. Fredigan was a three-part.

00:03:07.120 Catalina De Aroso was a three-part episode. And I just know from my interactions with

00:03:12.940 Tits of Brigade members on Instagram she's not really anyone's favorite well she's some people's

00:03:19.160 favorite but there's there's a real mix of people who like are here for her and people who are just

00:03:23.020 like she is a nightmare person but I hope we can all agree this is like a really interesting story

00:03:28.560 so where last we left Christina she had yeeted the crown in a reverse coronation and today we're

00:03:38.400 going to talk about what happened to her next so i forget if i said this in the other episode but

00:03:43.920 as i've been working on these episodes the new um beyonce song came out you won't break my soul

00:03:49.920 uh featuring big frida it's such a good song i love it listen to it just like back to back to

00:03:53.940 back the day it came out and ever since but the mood of it i think is very much christina's vibe

00:03:59.740 you know it's like release your job she's just like yeah release your crown she's just like

00:04:03.760 peace out sweden so you never is her mood at this moment so the first heading i have in my notes is

00:04:11.080 christina says you won't break my soul to sweden and the concept of being its monarch so she stopped

00:04:17.160 being queen and then kg became the new king um and then hours after the coronation literally she

00:04:23.560 left midway through the like welcome our new king kg banquet christina headed out to stockholm to

00:04:30.060 get this post king life going in stockholm she took a few days to pack um while she was there

00:04:36.140 she attended a church service like a publicly people saw her doing the church service she took

00:04:42.340 communion there there's been a lot of major communion moments between ann of denmark and

00:04:45.900 this where it's like taking communion or not is like a real important thing everybody was

00:04:50.180 paying attention to but she didn't want anybody to know about her super secret sexy catholic 0.82

00:04:54.540 conversion plans because reasons largely because she knew once the axel oxen herna and everybody 0.97

00:05:02.040 found out about that they probably stopped paying her like queen pension so she didn't want anyone

00:05:06.200 to know yet so she set off i think i forget if i said this last time she had like put a bunch of

00:05:12.540 like swedish owned things but she was just kind of like um they're my things now paintings um jewels

00:05:19.460 like a lot of the stuff that she had looted from other countries she just like took that with her

00:05:22.740 because she knew she wouldn't need that firstly to decorate whatever palace she wound up living in

00:05:27.340 but also she knew she might need to use that as collateral to get loans in her new post queen

00:05:33.520 life although she was technically still the queen slash king because that was part of what was in

00:05:39.120 the arrangement she made with the guys was that she was going to be still queen just not queen

00:05:45.100 of Sweden anymore so it's time just to go off be a freelance queen so she set off towards the

00:05:50.980 sweden slash denmark border accompanied by some officials who she ditched pretty quickly including

00:05:55.740 her lutheran chaplain who had thought um he'd be traveling with her but you know they didn't know

00:06:00.340 about the whole catholic angle of it but also she just wanted to be free you know it's like

00:06:05.460 the pictures of nicole kidman after she signed her final divorce papers from tom cruise like

00:06:10.660 that's christina's vibe here she's just like i don't know you know it's like if you see you know

00:06:15.320 really little kids or like i don't know sometimes animals where you just open a door and they just

00:06:19.560 like run like they just run they just like want to be outside and to her that was it's a huge

00:06:25.260 moment for her like like her or not it's sort of like um I don't know you know like people who are

00:06:31.400 child stars and they become adults and some of them go on and just become like Mara Wilson or

00:06:38.120 somebody who's just like guess what I'm gonna do just like not be an actor anymore like I worked

00:06:42.900 my whole childhood like I want to just be free and do my own thing like it's that sort of vibe

00:06:46.940 ariana richards who's in the original jurassic park movie just stopped acting and then became

00:06:52.180 like a painter or something christina's just like she's been working so hard like through her whole

00:06:57.220 childhood teenage years and now she's like 20 whatever years old and she's just like you know

00:07:01.080 who am i who am i if i don't have to base my entire personality off of doing the opposite

00:07:05.620 of what axel oxen herna wants all the time so a real voyage of self-discovery so 1.00

00:07:11.260 yeah so she ditched a lot of the people who thought they were going to be accompanying her

00:07:15.840 she's only accompanied by four gentlemen um then she went on to the border I guess the border like 0.72

00:07:20.700 between Sweden and Denmark took off her dress and put on pants cut her hair off which is not

00:07:28.800 the sort of dramatic haircut you see in like an oldie times or like a costume drama where you

00:07:33.460 know the women cut the hair off off to be you know like Gwyneth Paltrow's weird wig and Shakespeare

00:07:37.720 in Love or whatever no she's got her she got the Lord Farquaad special the Catalina de Arousso style

00:07:43.520 bob but that was like what man hair looked like at the time and this wasn't necessarily I talked

00:07:50.020 in the other episodes and I want to continue this dialogue about like Christina you know

00:07:54.560 gender non-conforming non-binary potentially a trans narrative this wasn't Christina being like

00:08:01.740 finally I can you know put on pants and live life as a man no this is just her disguising herself

00:08:06.940 as a man kind of like what Catalina de Arosa did at first so she disguised herself as a man so she 0.82

00:08:11.540 could like sneak away and not have the swedish people know what she was doing so this was a

00:08:16.740 man disguise she buckled on a sword and tangent the history of people from her family the vasa

00:08:27.180 dynasty going in disguise was not new in fact it's kind of like she's like living up to her family

00:08:32.980 name in this so her father gustav adolphus had in fact gone in disguise to brandenburg when he

00:08:40.180 was courting her mother Maria Eleonora and years before the founder of the Vasa dynasty her great

00:08:46.700 grandfather Gustav I Cecilia's father from the ski ski revolution had of course traveled the

00:08:52.880 land disguised as a peasant as he recruited more people to join the ski ski revolution so she's

00:08:58.580 just like really truly as much as she wants to distance herself from her family and her identity

00:09:03.740 it's just she's just you know doing things that her relatives also did also recently a Dana like

00:09:10.000 recently to her not recently to me now recording this recently to her a danish woman named leonora

00:09:15.980 ulfelt had also traveled disguised as a man and i need to pause to talk about that for a minute

00:09:21.920 leonora ulfelt was the daughter of the danish king christian the fourth now this is the same

00:09:29.680 king christian who maria eleonora had been pen pals with he was the one who had been abandoned

00:09:36.460 by his wife his first wife and who Maria Eleonora they were pen pals and she showed up and he was

00:09:41.940 like oh you're a nightmare person and then spent a couple years trying to extricate her from Denmark

00:09:46.240 so Leonora his daughter and it's kind of a vibe it's similar to Cecilia being the daughter of

00:09:52.840 Gustav where it's just this kind of like long-standing king and just the rebellious

00:09:57.660 daughter I love that energy anyway Christiane had like 25 children or something but Leonora

00:10:03.380 was his favorite so you know she stood out in some way charisma wise or whatever so she had

00:10:09.020 been born to his second wife who hadn't been a queen so Leonora was not like 100% a royal but

00:10:16.800 like she and her other siblings were you know married off for alliance reasons such that in

00:10:24.080 1636 when Leonora was 15 she was married to a 30 year old man named Corfitz Ulfelt. Corfitz was

00:10:31.180 made a count for all of his services to the crown and his power and stature grew and so Leonora got

00:10:36.500 power too by association with him so she was kind of like the first lady of Denmark because there

00:10:42.780 wasn't a queen because of course um the queen had left the king for a what was it like a German count

00:10:49.520 or something anyway despite the 15 year age gap and the child marriage of it all Leonora's marriage

00:10:56.200 Corfit seemed to have been like in terms of this podcast slash history a pretty good one at least

00:11:02.800 compared to the marriages of her sisters so her father died and her half-brother became the new

00:11:08.320 king Frederick III of Denmark and Frederick did not like Corfit's Frederick's wife was Sophie

00:11:16.500 Emily of Brunswick-Luneburg and Sophie Emily did not care for Leonora and how much sort of 0.99

00:11:23.580 power she had is sort of like queen in all but names this became a rivalry sophie emily versus 0.75

00:11:29.560 leonora in 1651 corfitts was rumored to be involved with a plot to poison the royal family

00:11:35.780 and he was cast out of denmark along with leonora his wife they became fugitives often wandering

00:11:41.700 about to elude capture leonora sometimes spent weeks disguised as a man once fending off arrest

00:11:47.940 from danish pursuers at gunpoint and another time she had to fin off the caresses of an infatuated

00:11:53.800 barmaid love it so at her insistence like she could have stayed behind but she wanted she liked

00:12:01.640 life on the run so she insisted that she would go with corfitts during his exile and all of his

00:12:06.620 expeditions what they were trying to do is just they were engaging in intrigues with denmark's

00:12:12.080 enemies hoping to either return to copenhagen in power or to humiliate those who held power there

00:12:17.160 love that energy too so this was all happening at around the same time christina was also

00:12:21.720 traveling around similar areas also in disguise as a man so that's just in terms of parallels of 0.98

00:12:27.440 like women disguised as men it's you know i i would think probably most women in denmark and

00:12:34.000 sweden didn't disguise themselves as men but these are two prominent examples of people who did

00:12:39.240 simultaneously what happened to leonora just so you know because i can't leave you not knowing

00:12:43.420 the rest of the story later um so corfus was eventually caught and imprisoned leonora went

00:12:49.440 to england to get repayment from king charles ii because corfus had loaned money to king charles

00:12:55.840 ii during his exile this was during the part of english history and we're definitely going to be

00:13:02.540 talking about this some more both in the christina episodes and some subsequent episodes of this

00:13:06.720 podcast so Charles I had been beheaded by Oliver Cromwell in England and then Oliver Cromwell took

00:13:15.900 over Charles II had escaped um and while he was in exile like on the continent of Europe so he

00:13:23.360 kind of pops in and out of this story a couple times anyway so I guess clearly part of this was

00:13:27.380 King Charles needed some money and Corfitts had lent him some money Corfitts died Charles had

00:13:32.600 gone back to england became the king again um he had like 7 000 mistresses and we are going to talk

00:13:39.460 about him spoiler later this season because two of his mistresses were pretty awesome i'm sure

00:13:45.280 they were all awesome anyway so leonora went to england to solicit repayment from king charles

00:13:49.640 for money corfetts had loaned him before he was king again the king repaid the debt by welcoming

00:13:55.620 including Leonora who was his cousin and all the royals are all related um so he welcomed her

00:14:03.600 but then had her arrested as she boarded a ship to leave England and he turned her over to Denmark

00:14:08.020 betrayal by her cousin the king so Leonora was taken to a holding cell and cross-examined but

00:14:13.840 she refused to rat on her husband Corfitts finally she consented um to giving up I guess

00:14:21.920 her assets or land or something upon the province that corpheus would be set free but she was

00:14:25.800 betrayed again corpheus was condemned and a writ was issued for his execution and the exile of

00:14:31.500 their children corpheus escaped he joined the children abroad leonora was not at first told

00:14:36.840 this and so she was she had to watch as he was burned in effigy so like a corpheus shaped like

00:14:43.380 doll was burned and they told her it was him not sure she never saw him again uh but there's no 0.97

00:14:48.500 evidence that he sought her freedom or reunion with her prior to his death corfist sucks for

00:14:54.160 the next 22 years leonora remained in the custody of the danish state incarcerated without charge

00:14:59.060 or trial in copenhagen castle's infamous blue tower during this era she wrote her memoirs

00:15:05.420 which is how we know a lot of this stuff in which she said her cell was small filthy foul infested

00:15:11.500 with fleas and then the rats were so numerous and hungry that they ate her night candle as it burned

00:15:17.300 how did she write her memoirs you might be wondering it's horrible place well she learned

00:15:24.040 to piece together pages for writing from the wrappers on the sugar that she was given

00:15:27.940 and she made ink for her quill pen by capturing the candle's smoke on a spoon

00:15:33.980 like shashank redemption what like come on slowly she adjusted to this situation she was there for

00:15:41.780 22 years she ceased longing for revenge or death you know she really made peace with it

00:15:46.440 and she developed a dark humor think she would have had to she studied the vermin the rats who

00:15:53.300 were her only companions recording her observations and conjectures about their instincts

00:15:56.940 with the ink she made from candle smoke on a spoon when the rats weren't eating the candles

00:16:02.480 when she heard the corfitts had died abroad she marveled she only felt relief not that he had

00:16:07.900 died she wasn't like anti-corfitts but she was relieved that he had finally eluded his persecutors

00:16:12.220 like they could never catch him now because he had died on his own terms she received a bit better

00:16:16.420 treatment following the death of friedrich the third the new king guess what his name is christian

00:16:21.940 the fifth sent his ministers to solicit consent from his mother sophie emily to free the prisoner

00:16:29.900 but sophie emily like still had this old rivalry she had not like made peace like leonora had

00:16:36.280 anyway she rejected this eventually king christian had leonora moved to more spacious quarters in the 0.99

00:16:45.400 tower installed a stove against the cold of Copenhagen winter so she wouldn't have like a 0.99

00:16:50.360 Rene Descartes in Sweden moment and commanded her window be opened fresh air the queen so

00:16:58.980 so this is not the mother this is not Sophie Emily this is Christian's wife the queen loaned

00:17:05.580 her silkworms which Leonora eventually returned in a casket on which were embroidered in silk

00:17:11.300 made from the worms so she'd embroidered in silk the words that um should leonora's bonds be loosed 0.81

00:17:18.240 which is like a pretty epic long-term silk based move she was now allowed actual pen and paper

00:17:26.080 and received a gift from her nephew of some money which she spent on books and it was in this time

00:17:31.940 she began to write in earnest so she may have started writing with you know ink made from smoke

00:17:35.960 from candles but at this time she had pen and paper so i'm gonna guess that's probably when

00:17:39.440 most of her memoirs were read sophie amelie died in february of 1685 and then a couple months later

00:17:49.200 may 1685 leonora was informed that an issue a royal order had been issued for her release

00:17:54.940 so by then she had already entered into legend a royal adventuress who had been held captive

00:18:03.020 so when she was released she was 63 years old she had spent 21 years nine months and 11 days

00:18:08.860 in the tower and she lived her last years quietly on the island of lowland where she occupied her

00:18:15.740 time editing the memoir she written in prison so an icon i had to just i could not tell you all of

00:18:22.880 that not enough for a full episode but i feel like important to share back to christina christina

00:18:30.040 i would say not as impressive in the same way as leonora but impressive just in her unrelenting 0.53

00:18:38.220 tenacity so disguised as a man she also took on a secret man's name remember how much she liked 0.86

00:18:46.360 being sneaky like the first when she first was like allegedly sneaking around with kg

00:18:50.480 she seemed to enjoy the sneaking around more than the like illicit love affair between cousins

00:18:55.160 so of course she took on a fake name she didn't make up a fake name though she took she just

00:18:59.620 adopted the name of one of the men who was with her which shows either a lack of imagination or

00:19:04.420 there's some reason she wanted to do that or she just really liked his name let me know what you

00:19:08.860 think his name was Count Christoph Vondona so she was now pretending to be Count Christoph Vondona

00:19:15.380 with her like Lord Farquaad haircut her pants and she found she really liked wearing pants

00:19:20.900 she liked having short hair and she kind of continued dressing kind of like this for the

00:19:26.280 rest of her life not in disguise as a man but just like a woman in pants became kind of her thing

00:19:31.620 so the current king and queen of denmark who were if i said it was christian that wouldn't help you

00:19:41.560 but i think this was at this point still leonora's dad and his second wife so maybe leonora's mom

00:19:50.080 anyway the king queen of denmark prepared to greet her like remember she had left sweden

00:19:54.220 at the sweden denmark border she had cut her hair etc so they were like okay she's coming

00:19:59.620 they've been told by like people to expect her and they were like out front waiting for her but

00:20:04.000 she just like rode right past um she was just like gotta go so all that they were able to greet was

00:20:11.540 like remnants of her baggage and a few apologetic and tired servants because she's just like guess

00:20:16.340 what i'm not doing anything anyone expects she was already five days ahead actually by the time

00:20:21.440 that they thought they went out to like greet her so basically her eagerness just to get the 0.67

00:20:26.040 fuck away from Sweden was her main driving force here along with adrenaline and just fun of this 0.78

00:20:31.520 adventure so she was now 27 years old free for the first time in her life and without the single 0.99

00:20:37.760 guiding principle that had defined her last like decade of life of just doing the opposite of

00:20:42.680 whatever Axel wanted you know like what was she gonna do who was she even so she started figuring

00:20:48.240 things out she went to visit Friedrich III there's so many Friedrichs in this story

00:20:54.600 um the Duke of Holstein Gotthorp and while there she was like you know what your daughters are so

00:21:00.680 nice I think KG should marry one of your daughters so she sent letters back to KG being like I like

00:21:07.140 these two you should take one of them as your wife KG uh speaking of KG he was back in Sweden

00:21:11.920 and he was just being the king and he's like I had arranged 5,000 soldiers to like escort her

00:21:19.000 across the continent why did Christina just like run off on a horse with four guys he never truly

00:21:24.200 understood her so i would say could he have ever truly loved her his spies were everywhere though

00:21:29.120 keeping an eye on her and what she's up to like her disguise was bad it was like very obvious that

00:21:34.440 she was herself she had like if you've seen any portraits of her she had like an extremely

00:21:38.860 distinctive looking face she's also very small she had the crooked shoulders and i think her

00:21:44.660 personality would give her way as well that she was christina so they reported back to kg like

00:21:51.640 things she did like how at one point on route she had walked into an inn with a firearm dangling

00:21:57.720 around her neck which this is oldie times firearms so that would be like a real big heavy thing

00:22:02.780 and she was like a very short person so that would have been notable certainly she headed to

00:22:09.920 Hamburg where the city's magistrates were expecting her and she actually showed up and

00:22:14.920 they had prepared a fancy house for her but she didn't want to stay in that fancy house

00:22:18.160 she wanted to stay in the house of her new banker diego texera this had all been prearranged by her

00:22:24.560 friend antonio pimental who is the spanish guy who had sort of helped her figure out her escape plan

00:22:29.880 and who's the one that in the greta garbo movie they act like was her lover so the people of

00:22:37.260 hamburg were annoyed or i guess the like people of hamburg whatever they were busy doing things

00:22:42.020 but like the people in charge of hamburg were like but we had like prepared this whole house for you

00:22:45.460 because she's still a queen it's like really exciting to have a royal visit

00:22:48.400 but they were also mad because diego texera was jewish and there was all this religious stuff

00:22:57.560 going on so at this point they didn't know about the catholic stuff necessarily they just knew

00:23:01.680 christina was the queen of a major protestant country um to stay with a jewish person was like

00:23:07.060 oh the scandal her biographer veronica buckley wrote this great sentence those who had endured

00:23:12.780 her trousers in silence now began to protest christina to her great credit was like i'm sorry

00:23:20.680 didn't literally jesus himself spend a lot of time with jewish people was jesus himself not born

00:23:26.400 jewish did jesus not prefer the company of jewish people to any other kinds of people

00:23:30.520 not a quote but basically what she said because honestly like she read so many books she was

00:23:36.180 really well read on religious matters and gave zero fucks about religious bigotry she's just 0.98

00:23:40.980 like if someone's my friend they're my friend like fuck off so she was annoying about a lot of stuff 0.99

00:23:47.540 but legitimately like cool about this she was just like i'm staying with my banker diego if you don't 0.99

00:23:54.680 like that fuck you so she went to visit duke friedrich of holstein gottrop there's talk about 0.99

00:24:00.620 a marriage between one of his daughters and kg christina met both of the daughters and advised 1.00

00:24:05.040 KG to marry the older one so they in the like Henry VIII Anne of Cleves way like they sent

00:24:11.140 portraits of both of them and he chose actually the younger one not the one she suggested

00:24:14.500 so he ended up marrying Hedwig Eleonora later in her unpublished memoir Christina would say

00:24:20.820 KG regretted his choice of a wife and she imagined him saying I shall be miserable all my life since

00:24:27.080 Christina has refused me the glory of possessing her nothing can console me for it again she 0.98

00:24:33.960 imagines that's what he said maybe he did so yeah christina's taking hamburg she's making a spectacle 0.87

00:24:41.920 of herself with her haircut her pants maybe the gun around her neck just like prancing around with 1.00

00:24:47.440 almost no escort she would leave the city twice she returned so late that the gates of the city 0.97

00:24:52.220 had to be opened especially for her she gave zero fucks like this was truly i mentioned before like 0.84

00:24:57.280 a child started getting older but this is truly like her miley cyrus bangers moment just being 0.92

00:25:03.880 like you know you can't control me it's like britney spears overprotected where she's just

00:25:09.200 like i'm taking control of my life in a the most chaotic way possible she can't be tamed 0.57

00:25:16.820 much like miley cyrus so an envoy arrived to relay the good wishes of the spanish king because it was

00:25:23.000 like the spanish people who like helped her escape and were sort of arranging things for her to go

00:25:27.720 meet the pope etc to meet the envoy she was like okay so she put on a skirt on top of her pants

00:25:33.660 like a short skirt so it's a real so much about her story feels contemporary to me and this is

00:25:39.700 really the new you know 90s y2k fashion moment like a skirt over pants christina did it first

00:25:46.900 so every country had spies watching her and they were all trying to figure out like what was her 0.99

00:25:52.320 secret plan not realizing there was no plan she was just like being she was just being miley when 0.96

00:25:57.840 english spy wrote it is believed that nature was mistaken in her and that she was intended for a

00:26:02.540 for in her discourse they say she talks loud and sweareth notably so again people just being like 0.96

00:26:09.040 she's a woman in pants and she like sits with her legs spread and like swears so they're like 0.99

00:26:15.480 that must be can we trace this back to her genitalia otherwise i'm confused so just like 1.00

00:26:21.100 i'm so tired of that plot point like get over it everybody she also took a bit of time to hang out

00:26:27.780 a bit with her cousin um not maria euphrosine but her other cousin who she grew up with at

00:26:34.740 princess aunt catalina's house i think it was maria eleanora that's her mother's name i might

00:26:39.380 have written that down wrong maria the other one her cousin maria was now married and was now a

00:26:44.920 german countess so i guess they were just you know reminiscing about their dates growing up in the

00:26:48.600 castle and then early one morning chris just like left like the magistrates of hamburg woke up to

00:26:54.960 find she had left without bothering to let anyone know she was leaving that's just how she does it

00:26:59.780 that's the christina way uh the only thing that she left behind was kind of an insult

00:27:04.560 in that in the she had attended lutheran mass and she had left a small book in a pew there which

00:27:11.640 sort of indicated that she had not been paying attention to the church service but rather had

00:27:15.200 been reading this book of like virgil poetry or whatever because i can't emphasize enough she gave 0.57

00:27:21.180 zero fucks and everyone was just like so confused and so all the spies were like where's she gonna 0.98

00:27:26.780 go next assuming she had a plan which she did not one rumor was that she was headed for the town of 0.85

00:27:32.660 spa literally a place called spa coincidentally this was where we kind of like went back around

00:27:40.720 the timeline when i was talking about leonora we went ahead of christina's story so again like we're

00:27:45.880 in christina's era so at this point charles ii had not yet become king of england and he was

00:27:52.220 at this point literally hanging out in spa he was so christina's 27 charles age 24 was seen by some

00:27:59.800 as maybe a potential husband for her like that she would like help him become king of england again

00:28:05.380 but again these rumors being spread by people who just wouldn't understand when she consistently

00:28:11.220 always said she would never marry anyone at the same time over in England so Oliver Cromwell was

00:28:16.980 in charge his wife had fallen ill allegedly she saw a painting of Christina and was like oh she

00:28:22.260 looks nice like you should marry her next like like I don't know like everyone just wanted her

00:28:27.400 to marry someone because they're like at least then we'll understand what she's doing and she's

00:28:31.780 just like I don't care if you don't understand I'm Christina I'm just like she's coming in like

00:28:37.900 a wrecking ball over all of europe and everyone just needs to like get on board so she wound up 0.60

00:28:44.940 in holland where she took the time to meet up with a lady scholar named anna maria von schurman

00:28:50.980 anna maria was 20 years older than christina she was a linguist and a mistress of philosophy

00:28:56.600 descartes r.i.p had admired her as had other scholars christina had kept trapped in her

00:29:02.520 swedish academy so she's like i guess i'll go see this like lady scholar we don't know what exactly 0.97

00:29:07.040 happen at their meeting my guess is that christina just had that thing like when she meets a woman 1.00

00:29:11.960 who was legitimately like smart and good at stuff it just made her be jealous because she wanted to 1.00

00:29:17.600 be the only woman who was good at stuff so the visit was brief and then she hopped back into

00:29:23.380 her carriage to go to the spanish netherlands where she wound up in a city that is my personal 0.59

00:29:32.080 nemesis in city form that city is Antwerp what I'll explain to you about that and why you know

00:29:42.020 what if anyone listening is from Antwerp I'm sure your city is lovely I'm sure it's a great city

00:29:48.320 it's the name of the city is why I can't deal with it and it's because when I was a young child

00:29:56.520 traveling I took a trip to Europe with my family the Grand Alpine Tour we went around various

00:30:04.860 places including Antwerp and when you are a young child whose name is Anne and you are

00:30:12.220 the youngest of a group of siblings and to people where English isn't your first language you might

00:30:19.320 not know, but the word twerp in English language, at least in Canada, can refer to a small or young

00:30:29.340 or annoying person. So to go to a city called Antwerp, being called Anne and being the youngest

00:30:37.880 person there, you know, it was, it was, it was a rough time for me. Not that rough, but honestly,

00:30:46.440 I just like hold it out against I had not thought about that in decades until I was researching this

00:30:51.560 and I was just like Antwerp and all the memories came flashing back I have a very loving family

00:30:56.180 they they joke because they love but I will hold it against Antwerp until the day I die

00:31:01.780 anyway Christina is in Antwerp where she stayed at the residence of another friend of hers who I

00:31:11.140 think she had met through um he was a friend of antonio pimental and also friend of diego taxera

00:31:17.420 who was another jewish banker his name was garcia de ian the baron of borneval so i also when i was

00:31:29.400 researching this i was just like oh you know we haven't had many jewish people show up in the

00:31:34.700 stories that i've done not intentionally i'm not avoiding having there be jewish people in the

00:31:40.500 stories there just haven't been and now that I was thinking about that I was like I need to make

00:31:44.440 a concerted effort to like have some Jewish people some stories of Jewish people and then 0.52

00:31:49.000 I was like this story has two Jewish people in it and they're both money lenders and I'm just 0.92

00:31:53.580 like god damn it this is not I'm anyway but here's I'm telling you the facts of what happened 0.98

00:32:01.120 and here's what happened and what happened is Christina had two friends who were Jewish and 0.96

00:32:04.640 they were both money lenders that was their job they seem like great people she liked them very

00:32:09.520 much if you have suggestions of jewish women from history um that i could cover in the podcast

00:32:16.800 let me know on instagram and my dms or email me there's a contact form at vulgarhistory.com

00:32:22.440 anyway so her new friend is garcia de ian and so she was just hanging out with him in antwerp

00:32:30.460 waiting to be invited by the pope to just come hang out in rome and so the whole next part of

00:32:35.040 her life could begin while she waited she was i mean i think we know honestly i'm impressed that

00:32:41.320 christina's been able to keep this super secret sexy catholic conversion a secret this long given

00:32:45.460 how much she loves espionage and having everyone know she's doing espionage so she hung out in 0.71

00:32:51.420 antwerp visiting with jesuits you know catholic priests the same ones they were in um and jing

00:32:57.520 a story she hung out with carmelite nuns all these spies were watching her and they're just like

00:33:03.000 they were just like questioning with catholics they're like maybe she's going to become a nun

00:33:06.820 which like can you imagine the only person less suited to be a nun is catalina de arrauso frankly 0.59

00:33:13.800 so then while still in antwerp goddamn antwerp she reunited with a guy who she had known in

00:33:21.600 stockholm who is the cont raimundo montacucholi duca di melfi he was the guy who she'd he'd 0.88

00:33:30.840 helped her when she left so he had helped her smuggle her jewels and coins out of sweden

00:33:34.620 and montecucholi revealed he had been sent by the spanish emperor to deliver a letter

00:33:40.200 and here's the thing the letters from the spanish emperor always are like really flattering but

00:33:46.820 that he never offers her money he never offers her help so like his guys like pimental montecucholi

00:33:53.420 like they had helped christina get out of sweden um and she really had expected that the spanish

00:33:59.920 emperor was going to kind of help her out financially and he did not speaking of antonio

00:34:06.100 pimental came into town as well also in his status as an envoy from the spanish emperor

00:34:12.040 um again just like a letter full of flattery and no real news christina wanted to make a grand

00:34:19.140 public profession of faith in rome in front of the pope but the spanish emperor would not allow this

00:34:24.380 because the pope who at this point was innocent the 10th was very ill and not expected to survive

00:34:29.220 of the winter and you know how they choose a new pope i think they must have done they must have

00:34:33.880 done it back then it's such a weird old-timey thing to do where they go into the room and then

00:34:38.680 like when the smoke turns to white that's when they've chosen a new pope so it's like who's

00:34:42.980 going to be the new pope so innocent the 10th had been friendly to spain but they didn't know who's

00:34:48.480 going to be the next pope the white smoke might choose somebody who prefers france and the spanish

00:34:54.000 emperor wanted spain to get the credit for converting christina so she was kind of being

00:34:59.600 forced to stay in the spanish netherlands with the conversion plans kept secret for now

00:35:03.440 she was like fine but she didn't want anyone to think that she wasn't in control of her destiny

00:35:09.840 so she claimed that it was her choice that she wanted to stay in antwerp but honestly she had

00:35:17.260 no choice because she had by now run out of money because even when she was the queen remember she

00:35:23.200 wasn't good at money and now she like had actually a finite amount and she had spent it all which

00:35:28.460 might be why she kept making friends with money lenders so how was she spending her money well

00:35:33.380 she was spending on credit she kept giving gifts to random passers-by entertaining lavishly um she

00:35:40.940 spent her time playing chess and croquet and in her free time she just kind of like rode around

00:35:45.680 in her carriage avoiding going to church and went to the theater every night in fact she liked this

00:35:51.960 theater company so much that she hired the entire theater company for her own private entertainment

00:35:56.380 like this is why she ran out of money but she was very much like you know if you have money you 1.00

00:36:03.860 should spend it her quote is that the greatest pleasure money could buy was the pleasure of 0.61

00:36:08.380 spending it and the thing to bear in mind here is she didn't have money but she was still spending

00:36:13.880 it so again you know it's like she kind of reminds me of her mom a bit as much as she hated her mom

00:36:21.220 and didn't want to be like her mom wasn't her mother also known for giving inappropriately

00:36:24.980 expensive gifts anyway an envoy came from kg in sweden honestly inviting her back to sweden and

00:36:31.700 she was like never then a new visitor came louis de bourbon the prince of conde once the terror of

00:36:40.020 spanish armies he was now waging war against his own country of france and we know how christina

00:36:45.100 felt about france and france adjacent people especially handsome men he was about five years

00:36:51.220 older than her so not super old and he had been recommended to her she'd heard about him from her

00:36:56.100 good doctor pierre bordelet the one who like got her to like take baths and eat meals so she sent

00:37:04.260 him an invitation right away mostly because she thought he sounded cool and hot and also because 0.86

00:37:09.280 she knew it would bother people pimental her her bro knew how susceptible christina was to

00:37:16.320 smoldering french people didn't trust the prince de conde but he didn't have worried eventually

00:37:22.120 it all sort of cooled off after in a sort of like enjinga adjacent reverse situation she wouldn't

00:37:29.800 there's something about like the chair or like he had to stand in front of her and he got mad and

00:37:34.280 i don't know it sounds like they're actually similar people in the sense of they would never

00:37:38.520 be submissive to anyone ever but in the nearby city of the hag another notable frenchman was

00:37:44.680 staying and this was pierre-hector chanoux so in sort of like christina just like is so excited

00:37:53.020 she stopped being the king slash queen of sweden and she wants to just like prove herself on the

00:37:58.320 world stage by just like doing amazing stuff but again and i have been watching i mentioned last 0.99

00:38:03.380 time old seasons of survivor she's just really causing chaos for chaos reasons because she wants

00:38:08.980 to be like great but she really has no goal other than just trying to impress people so this guy was

00:38:17.840 staying nearby pierre-hector chenu so she publicly or like secretly in letters i'm not sure she told

00:38:23.560 other people that pierre-hector had invited her to act as a mediator between france and spain to

00:38:28.700 negotiate an end to the war and he was like i 100 did not ask you to do that like could you please

00:38:34.280 like release a public statement saying you made that up and she was like no so then pierre hector

00:38:40.220 released a public statement being like that is not true that is not why i'm here she was really mad

00:38:46.160 about him like quote betraying her or something and this whole thing caught the attention of a

00:38:50.600 very important person in france cardinal mazarin who was now convinced that she was secretly in

00:38:57.560 league with the spanish i feel like she's not so secretly with the spanish they like clearly are

00:39:03.240 the people who helped her escape anyway cardinal mesarin is a notable person who's gonna reoccur

00:39:10.380 in this story and other stories later this season so he was like in charge of the church stuff in

00:39:16.280 france while louis the 14th was a little boy like while he was because he's like such a long-serving

00:39:22.940 king the 14th mazarin was super super super influential and kind of in charge of france for

00:39:29.620 a while so he began to have mean pamphlets published about her mark that on your bingo card 0.58

00:39:37.680 a pamphlet moment so mazarin these pamphlets said like christina was a sex worker she was a lesbian

00:39:44.400 she was an atheist these pamphlets made their way to every royal court in europe and tarnished her 1.00

00:39:49.860 reputation i would say how much of a reputation did you have to begin with christina was just 1.00

00:39:55.860 like to quote lizzo all the rumors are true and also fuck you all so it's time for her to move on 0.99

00:40:03.080 thank god she's leaving antwerp she and her small entourage left to go to the capital of 0.99

00:40:10.300 the spanish netherlands which is i believe brussels um they were greeted by fireworks

00:40:15.660 as she sailed in on the Archduke's gilded barge.

00:40:19.720 While it's there, she got to stay in the palace.

00:40:22.000 And then on Christmas Eve, 0.94

00:40:24.080 she finally had her super secret sexy Catholic conversion

00:40:28.720 in a small chapel attached to her bedroom.

00:40:31.180 The witnesses included Montecucholi, Antonio Pimental,

00:40:34.620 and two other Spanish diplomats.

00:40:36.720 Fireworks burst over the town,

00:40:38.120 and everyone in town was like,

00:40:39.220 why are there fireworks?

00:40:41.000 Because it was all a secret. 0.80

00:40:42.780 and this was totally not how christina wanted this to happen you know she wanted this grand

00:40:46.880 procession of faith in front of the pope in front of everybody not just like four witnesses

00:40:50.760 in a chapel attached to her bedroom also if you were wondering how serious is christina about this

00:40:58.480 new faith for which she had abdicated being a queen uh not at all so while attending a catholic

00:41:05.220 mass shortly after her conversion she was laughing and joking and she even made fun of the idea of

00:41:10.760 transubstantiation which is the catholic thing about um the wine and the little communion hosts

00:41:18.320 literally become the body and blood of christ so it's kind of like a foundational belief of being

00:41:25.460 a catholic so the spanish catholics who witnessed this were like wait what archduke leopold

00:41:31.800 wilhelm of austria was like wait she's not taking this seriously like why would she um have to keep

00:41:37.580 being queen to be catholic if she didn't even care about being catholic and that's the thing

00:41:41.740 honestly like her motivations are really obvious but the people then just couldn't

00:41:47.280 the religion was so important to them they couldn't understand somebody using it

00:41:50.100 so randomly yeah so the archduke was like she must have done this for political gain

00:41:57.220 which again is wrong he didn't know her well enough to know she only ever did things for

00:42:01.580 to make herself look good and to cause messy drama but then the pope died remember he was

00:42:08.400 sick anyway and then her mother maria eleonora died aged 55 r.i.p as per veronica buckley's

00:42:15.620 biography maria eleonora passed her last months in bleak half mourning bewailing her daughter's

00:42:21.840 departure from the land she herself had taught her to hate so christina took to the countryside

00:42:27.300 side for three weeks where she spent most of her time hunting and everyone grieves in their own way

00:42:32.740 including if you're grieving a mother who you hated you know grief manifests in all different

00:42:38.800 ways so then she came back baby so the white smoke had elected a new pope who's alexander the

00:42:46.140 seventh and although the spanish have been worried about it in fact he especially hated the french

00:42:51.020 so this was as close as the spanish were going to get to a supportive pope he was not supportive

00:42:57.340 of christina in the sense of he wouldn't loan her money so she was still kind of broke and had to

00:43:02.540 figure out alternate plans so she tried to secure a loan against remember when she abdicated they

00:43:09.360 gave her some lands it's not like here's your land build a house on it it was more like she

00:43:13.460 would get the profits from like the farmers or whoever worked the land so she tried to secure a

00:43:18.080 loan against those lands that she owned kg for the first time in his life stood up to her and was

00:43:26.220 like no shocking so she had no money she couldn't get a loan based on these lands because of kg

00:43:33.560 the austrian emperor didn't like her because of her like making fun of transubstantiation 0.88

00:43:38.160 she had alienated the french entirely due to her dealings with the spanish and all of the spanish

00:43:43.780 king was doing was sending her letters being like years are great I'm gonna not give you money

00:43:48.120 so she was on her own for the first time in her life and she did not care for it

00:43:53.480 so she came up with a plan I mean I feel like every time she comes with a plan

00:43:58.540 you can in brackets just add like a bad plan her plans are all bad but they are all audacious 0.72

00:44:03.700 so her plan was to sell everything she had paintings and jewels etc and then to use that 0.68

00:44:11.120 money to lead an army against kg and retake sweden i mean sure but that was thwarted both

00:44:20.300 by being a bad plan and also because kg was not just living around like waiting for her to do

00:44:26.900 stuff so he could react to it he led the swedish army into poland and they marched through slash

00:44:31.920 fought on the lands that were meant to give christina money so um those lands were all kind

00:44:37.000 messed up and not really doing much farming or agricultural stuff because armies like marched

00:44:41.360 through and fought on them and then also sweden was at war so the demands of war kept them pretty

00:44:46.520 poor so sweden couldn't get her money anyway so finally she was able to borrow some money from

00:44:52.700 her wealthy host in antwerp garcia de ian who just seems like a good dude like he doesn't he

00:44:59.840 clearly knew she was not going to repay him anytime soon like he put in his will for his

00:45:05.060 um children like you know if Christina ever repays me then this money goes to so and so

00:45:09.860 so he was just like take this money you know we're friends so she left for Italy and she had

00:45:18.040 grown a pretty large entourage by now just from like people who she met people who wanted to hang

00:45:24.920 out with her so her entourage included three musicians eight circuitaries um about 250 people

00:45:31.200 along with 247 horses the pope's special emissary father lucas hostinius who is the head of the

00:45:39.040 vatican library was waiting for her in the imperial city of innsbruck when she arrived

00:45:45.060 a new musical drama was performed called largia by antonio sesti this is like as perfect a

00:45:51.620 performance as macbeth was for james the first where it's just like what is this person like

00:45:57.460 and let's just make a show that is that so it is a tale of it's a six-hour play a tale of love

00:46:05.280 betrayal incest and lesbian seduction with a heroine in trousers a chorus of pirates there's

00:46:12.300 a whole ballet part of it plenty of theatrical wizardry um she watched it twice she loved it so

00:46:17.800 much i'm sure she tried to hire them to travel around with her but um she'll hire some other

00:46:22.860 performers then november 3rd 1655 christina announced her conversion to catholicism she

00:46:29.360 wrote to the pope she wrote to kg and in innsbruck bells rang out cannons boomed and the day was

00:46:35.040 spent in public celebration and just a few days later she left innsbruck to reach her destination

00:46:40.760 of rome so note like her staying in innsbruck financially kind of almost ruined ferdinand

00:46:49.440 charles the archduke of austria because of how much money he spent to entertain her there the

00:46:55.620 journey to rome was planned in detail by the vatican to be sort of indirect because they

00:47:00.840 weren't quite ready for her to arrive yet they were still preparing lots of stuff to greet her

00:47:04.700 but the pope had sent along a special carriage for her to ride in along with a special chef

00:47:10.220 who was luigi fidele the man of a thousand spices um in pissaro which is a place in italy

00:47:19.040 she was entertained by dancers acrobats and circus strongmen including the handsome brothers

00:47:24.400 ludovico and francesco santanelli who so impressed her that she hired them to come work for her and

00:47:32.080 i guess to speak her like on-call acrobats she also brought along uh an italian man called

00:47:38.400 gian rinaldo mondaleski who's going to be very important from this point on she eventually gets

00:47:45.740 to rome so she arrived on december 20th under darkest night she was led directly for a meeting

00:47:52.700 with the pope where she made she bowed very low which is like a thing you have to do when you meet

00:47:57.420 the pope apparently the first submissive gestures she ever made in her life and then she took a seat

00:48:03.420 beside him and the chair this is another chair like chair moments i think needs to go on the

00:48:08.700 bingo card this chair was a big deal like not since njenga has a chair been such a major plot

00:48:14.900 point in an episode of vulgar history so the usual rule was that if somebody was a ruling

00:48:21.280 monarch they got to sit in a real chair when they were with a pope but if you weren't a ruling

00:48:26.280 monarch you had to sit in this like plain stool christina was still technically a king but just

00:48:32.600 not a ruling king and she was not ruling because she had converted to catholicism so they didn't

00:48:39.300 want to be like hey sit on this plane bench so a guy comes into the story who becomes her friend

00:48:45.240 as well john lorenzo bernini sculptor architect painter also some is called the next michelangelo

00:48:52.160 bernini designed a low-backed chair with rounded arms that was kind of like not the regular monarch

00:48:59.560 chair but also not the plain stool so you know problem solved with this chair design christina

00:49:05.180 met with the pope and then went off to her rooms and so many people are so curious about her that

00:49:09.060 there's lots of descriptions of what she looked like so what they said was she was wearing a plain

00:49:13.660 gray gown so i think probably the same plain dress she often was wearing in her portraits

00:49:18.300 with a black scarf around her shoulders those who saw her remarked on her big bright blue eyes her

00:49:24.620 very small size and her brown curly hair note by now she had decided to she just shaved her head

00:49:31.000 and usually wore a wig which is why her hair always looks exactly the same in every portrait

00:49:35.280 uh usually women were not allowed to sleep within the walls of the vatican but this was a special 0.99

00:49:42.420 case she got her special chair and she got a whole wing assigned to her with eight rooms

00:49:46.600 all of them had been decorated especially by bernini's brother luigi the rooms were at the

00:49:52.380 top of a part of the vatican called the tower of the winds so she had this beautiful view of the

00:49:57.600 whole city of rome and beyond the next morning she was presented with a carriage which was a

00:50:03.360 personal gift from the pope designed by bernini decorated in blue silk and silver along with like

00:50:09.040 what's a carriage without horses like cinderella's very godmother would say so the carriage came

00:50:13.740 along with six fast horses to draw the carriage two mules to pull the litter and a smaller horse

00:50:19.560 which was for her to ride so this small horse was typically like a lady's horse so you think

00:50:24.640 chris would be like give me a man's horse but she's like a small person so i think functionally

00:50:29.160 it was a good size so she got on the horse at once to show off how good she was at it everyone's like

00:50:33.720 oh my god you're so great and she's just like i'm living my dream and then like me in every city i

00:50:39.040 ever visit she went to check out the local library after two days she left the city but just

00:50:44.880 technically because she then came back in for her grand official re-entry so she chose to ride her

00:50:52.080 horse rather than in the carriage she put a plume in her hat for celebration she's still wearing the 0.97

00:50:57.340 like plain gray dress because that was her look and also she had like pawned off her jewelry by

00:51:02.820 now the people of rome greeted her enthusiastically there's a great stone arch i guess you cross

00:51:08.200 through when you're entering rome and the pope had had it inscribed with a special greeting wishing

00:51:11.960 her a happy entrance as part of these ongoing festivities which is like happening at around

00:51:18.560 christmas so she received the sacrament of confirmation from the pope himself and as part

00:51:23.860 of this she was given a new confirmation name so her name she had been given a birth was christina

00:51:29.240 augusta and i guess when they told her you can choose a new name she was like i choose alexandra 0.69

00:51:34.300 in honor for hero alexander the great who honestly i profiled him on so this asshole on patreon and 0.91

00:51:42.160 he's kind of the least asshole i've ever covered on there he's just he lived a very short time 0.52

00:51:47.180 mostly just did battles an okay person could not have less to do with how christina was living her 0.98

00:51:55.280 life the pope was like like the confirmation name is supposed to be like a catholic based name so 0.56

00:52:00.340 could you add the name maria like for like the virgin mary and she was like fine but she never

00:52:05.280 used that name so it was just to make him happy she said she would do that but she never used that

00:52:09.720 name she but she did use christina alexandra so then she moved out of the vatican and into the

00:52:17.780 palazzo farnese which was uh sort of half abandoned but fancy castle parts of it were

00:52:24.400 falling apart but that's mostly because no one had lived in it for a while it had been partially

00:52:28.960 designed by michelangelo most importantly to christina it was rent free so she could just

00:52:34.820 like live there with her like 250 servants who she wasn't paying and just like vibe out so the

00:52:41.120 palace had lots of paintings in it already including you know paintings on the ceiling

00:52:45.920 but also just like frame paintings on the walls and a lot of them had had like with plaster

00:52:49.400 fig leaves put on to cover the like sexy bits or some especially sexy paintings had like curtains 1.00

00:52:57.140 in front of them and she had all the fig leaves removed and all the curtains open so all the sexy 0.99

00:53:01.420 paintings were all full on display she also hung up some of her own erotic paintings when someone 0.98

00:53:08.160 i don't know some vatican guy expressed surprise or horror at like the nudity on her walls she was 0.99

00:53:14.980 like i'm not going to be bound by rules made for priests like my paintings shall have their tits 0.98

00:53:20.500 out and all their bits out everything was really exciting you know everyone was so excited to have 0.95

00:53:26.760 her there but she was lonely you know who she missed was her best friend ebba spare possibly

00:53:32.920 also her lover question mark so she wrote a letter to ebba in which she reported she had yet to find

00:53:39.600 anyone to replace her as her best friend don't worry she will find someone to be her best friend

00:53:44.500 and possible lover shortly so then it's time for carnival which because in her honor was renamed 0.94

00:53:50.260 the queen's carnival there were plays there were processions there were racists she enjoyed seeing

00:53:55.800 all the shows one of the races so there's buffalo races there's also like one of the things that 0.90

00:54:02.280 they did was a thing it was a race quote a race it was a hate crime it was all the jewish people

00:54:09.020 were forced to run by having rocks thrown at them and christina was just kind of like that's not

00:54:15.640 cool so not that she stopped it from happening but she was kind of like i'm not down with that

00:54:21.560 she thought to herself and then went to another play so i mean just in terms of christina and her

00:54:28.020 being not anti-semitic like everyone else around her um she didn't stop it so i guess she's still 0.79

00:54:35.420 a little anti-semitic meanwhile so she still hadn't been able to pay her servants who started

00:54:40.540 because they needed money they started stealing silver and pieces of furniture even some of the

00:54:46.180 doors were being broken up for firewood they were just like doing what they could and she did

00:54:52.400 nothing about this and rather got busy opening an academy for scholars like she had in stockholm

00:54:57.580 so this was first it was a regular weekly meeting of local nobles and culturally minded cardinals

00:55:04.080 featuring music and discussion but like many book clubs it quickly just turned into more of just like

00:55:08.640 a weekly group hang and the members formed christina's new circle of friends

00:55:13.480 she also went to visit convents because that was another place to listen to music

00:55:18.120 there were rumors like she was going to convents so people like the spies were like she's going

00:55:22.180 to convents is she going to become a nun has she fallen in love with a nun but it's like 0.52

00:55:26.080 no she just okay so public performances by women were forbidden in rome at this point so convents 0.61

00:55:33.720 were the only place women could gather to make music together in fact for women talking about

00:55:38.960 music was forbidden so it was singing in harmony so at these convents the performances were just

00:55:45.480 chanting with no harmony the only instrument they're allowed to use was the organ and as soon

00:55:51.100 as a nun took their vows they couldn't learn singing or practice singing so this really just

00:55:55.180 depended on people who were good at singing or music before they became a nun christina liked

00:56:00.060 to go there but this is not at all a feminist moment for her because despite her own unorthodox 1.00

00:56:04.760 pants wearing lifestyle she was never and she never will be a champion for other women to do 1.00

00:56:10.020 the same thing um for other women to be able to live more unorthodox lifestyles because she felt 1.00

00:56:15.860 there's no point in that because there's no overcoming what in her eyes was the worst defect 0.97

00:56:20.840 of all being a woman and then we get into her new best friend maybe this is no this is like actually

00:56:27.880 a love story it's just not necessarily has sex in it so by now christina 29 years old

00:56:33.500 and her new best friend was a roman cardinal who was 32 years old deccio azzolino he was small

00:56:42.120 dark haired strong of feature though not handsome he was a subtle witty man with a warm personality

00:56:48.460 and a mac machiavellian sort of twist he had a reputation a bad reputation from certain emirist

00:56:57.900 liaisons less than decent and some other defects so he was he slept with a lot of women and also

00:57:04.380 he the other defects included cheating his brother for money from their father's will

00:57:08.940 as well as being a spy christina wrote that at soleno reminded her of axel oxen herna which

00:57:15.600 is interesting that she was drawn to him at soleno had worked in the past for cifra

00:57:21.060 which is the section of the vatican focused on creating codes and code breaking and he was also

00:57:27.160 one of the main letter writers for the vatican so he's in charge of intercepting and decoding

00:57:31.320 secret letters of the pope's enemies i'm all in and because like christina i love a spy moment

00:57:38.480 and you know she loves the espionage stuff so she was just like oh you're like cool and hot and also

00:57:43.640 you are a spy like hello new best friend he taught her the codes and then she was writing letters and

00:57:49.800 codes back and forth with him at soleno's many love affairs were no secret in rome despite the 0.56

00:57:56.080 whole like you know he was supposed to be celibate etc but like nobody was which is interesting

00:58:01.280 because one of the things that appealed to christina about catholicism was this celibacy

00:58:04.920 and she like remember when she made her friends all swear to a vow of celibacy but whatever she's

00:58:09.580 friends with this himbo and she i don't know she had a weakness for bad boys so she fell in love

00:58:16.920 with him and he might have fallen in love with her too so he visited her more often than his job 0.79

00:58:22.160 required to the point that the pope was like oh oh no like because he had this womanizing reputation

00:58:26.720 the pope was like uh why don't you just go off to the country for some solitary reflection which

00:58:32.300 at soleno did and then he came back and kept doing exactly the same stuff at around the same time

00:58:37.460 and this i don't know if this is just a coincidence christina began she changed she's trying out a new 0.97

00:58:44.400 era for herself a new more feminine way of dressing with what is described as 1.00

00:58:50.060 décolleté gowns which means a tits out neckline so these dresses were so deeply décolleté 0.98

00:58:58.480 that the pope himself rebuked her for it he was just like put those tits in in response she kept 0.94

00:59:05.540 wearing the décolleté dresses but added a pearl necklace to conceal or perhaps accentuate the 0.98

00:59:12.560 tits out of it all so i don't know maybe azzolino was just doing like a queer eye moment with her

00:59:17.780 where he's like you know try a different outfit why not so in veronica buckley's biography she

00:59:23.700 suggests that christina you know now falling in love she like decided to like embrace her inner 1.00

00:59:30.640 femininity and stuff and it's like i don't think so but whatever she just like had a little tits

00:59:36.500 out moment good for her and so these two like they were they loved each other like they clearly loved 0.90

00:59:41.860 each other there's others to other like with ebba with kg with magnus it's more like chris maybe had

00:59:47.800 a crush but this is like from their letters like they deeply cared for each other did they have a

00:59:52.200 sexual relationship who knows um maybe not i'm gonna say probably not christina has written

00:59:59.300 extensively about her distaste for sex like the sexual like sexual acts um she saw the sexual act

01:00:08.100 of like you know penetration as being an active submission of a woman to a man and she would 0.61

01:00:13.480 never submit herself to a man here's a quote from her she wrote despite her passionate nature

01:00:18.560 my pride incapable of submitting to anyone and my disdain despising everything have miraculously

01:00:24.220 saved me you know whatever they may say that i am innocent of all the things they've conjured up to

01:00:29.620 black in my life i admit that if i had not been born a girl my temperament might have led me into

01:00:34.760 terrible disorder so there's a lot to unpack there she's saying just kind of like she's a 0.93

01:00:39.800 passionate person and if she'd been born a man she maybe would have had a lot of sex but she's

01:00:44.940 a woman and so she didn't unsure there's a lot you can really read her stuff and her writings and

01:00:52.700 there's a lot to think about so the best description I can think of is that she and

01:01:00.080 Azzolino had a romantic friendship they were very devoted to each other and she was politically

01:01:06.280 useful to him and he gave her something to do because not only was he like the official Vatican

01:01:12.020 code guy he was also the leader of a super secret society or like a semi-secret society

01:01:18.000 the Squadron Volant which means the flying squad which was a free-thinking movement within the

01:01:24.660 Catholic Church and they needed a patron to fund them and Christina was like well I'm a queen

01:01:29.960 and here we go she had no money but that was not an issue because it was more just like her

01:01:36.880 influence like people knowing she was the patron made them seem more impressive more important 0.99

01:01:40.400 you know if there was like a royal visit she could kind of be their unofficial ambassador 0.53

01:01:44.160 stuff like that and this gave her a way to be sneaking around and to be politically active 1.00

01:01:50.020 without having to actually like do queen shit so her involvement in this bothered some other people 0.96

01:01:57.420 including Antonio Pimentel because the flying squad did not support the Spanish because they 0.98

01:02:03.540 were Italian and in fact all of Christina's friends now seem to be Italian because she

01:02:09.300 dismissed all of her Spanish servants and kind of broke up with all of her French friends and just

01:02:13.520 she's like all about you know Italy to her was like the new friends so effectively the Spanish

01:02:19.140 had helped her escape Sweden and get this new position in Rome but she had no further need for

01:02:24.200 them especially because the king had not actually supported her after she left Sweden like he'd

01:02:29.820 never sent her any money he never helped so even Antonio Pimental abandoned her he went off he

01:02:35.740 found it just like more peaceful and safe to be literally on the battlefields of Flanders rather 1.00

01:02:41.060 than in Rome with Christina so she really wanted to be like I'm with Italians now fuck you the 0.99

01:02:48.560 Spanish so she became embroiled in an anti-Spanish plot that involves the Habsburgs and I can't 0.99

01:02:56.320 believe this episode has Antwerp and the Habsburgs like both the people in history who are my nemesis

01:03:04.440 and the city name that is my nemesis the things I have to go through for this show so the Habsburgs

01:03:11.040 they were in charge of Spain and also controlled other areas including the kingdom of the two

01:03:16.840 sicilies which was the island of sicily and most of the italian mainland south of rome which they

01:03:22.140 ruled from naples and so the anti-spanish plot like it wasn't christina didn't invent it she

01:03:26.880 just like got brought in so the pope and his allies planned to seize naples and make it part

01:03:31.840 of the papal states which was like the part that like the pope was in charge of at solino through

01:03:38.340 his work with a code group um he was involved with his whole plan because through his like

01:03:44.000 code-breaking letter reading he had discovered a spy in the vatican who was the pope's nephew

01:03:48.740 so the whole taking over naples scenario was not a new idea so several years earlier the working

01:03:56.240 people of naples had taken up arms against tax collectors riding had followed then rebellion

01:04:01.260 the viceroy had been thrown in prison um but then the rebel leader immediately started acting like

01:04:08.300 the former rulers which made his followers decide to lynch him so then his henchmen claimed power

01:04:16.280 and kept it for several months declaring Naples a republic so this is like a few years ago just

01:04:21.500 FYI meanwhile some other people from Naples had approached Cardinal Mazarin remember him the one

01:04:30.000 who's like kind of in charge of France because the king is a little boy and they wanted to see

01:04:33.860 if france would come and take over naples instead of the spanish they proposed that the new king of

01:04:39.460 naples could be king louis the 14th's younger sibling philippe the duke d'anjou who is if you

01:04:47.380 listen to the chevalier day on episode the french prince who was probably a trans woman who made the

01:04:53.660 statue of trans achilles at versailles so they wanted that philippe to take over as monarch but

01:04:59.240 measure he was like a little boy um sorry the king the 14th was a little boy philippe was an

01:05:04.820 even younger person and they were like it would be great if the monarch was not a child

01:05:08.320 they considered getting the duke of conde involved because he's always up for some chaos anyway

01:05:13.940 eventually mesaran decided to just go ahead and try to capture naples um himself one of his

01:05:22.220 co-conspirators interestingly was christina's former grifter slash crush mark duncan opportunist

01:05:27.780 extraordinaire and mazarin was able to briefly take over but then the viceroy was reinstated

01:05:35.240 and that is what happened mazarin had not given up so seven years after that he sent a fleet of

01:05:44.440 ships to challenge the spanish but a storm happened and it just never happened never it

01:05:48.320 fell apart but now up to date with where we are with christina in rome mazarin was like

01:05:53.460 taking over naples for france take three but he needed to name a new monarch for naples so at this

01:05:59.560 point louis the 14th was 18 and unmarried um and that meant that philippe was louis's heir so they

01:06:05.900 couldn't like philippe couldn't do this if only there was some sort of like freelance king who

01:06:11.560 was catholic hanging out with nothing better to do and christina is like i've waited this moment

01:06:17.100 my whole life she was broke she was bored and she was like ready to be king again you know she was

01:06:22.800 over having abdicated because she realized being a king without a kingdom was kind of like

01:06:28.400 not as fun as she had thought she wanted to be a monarch again with all the power and money that

01:06:33.540 would provide so she could like you know hire ballet companies and just like do her own thing 0.87

01:06:38.520 and naples wasn't too far from rome so she and azzelina could easily do their romantic friendship

01:06:43.700 long distance so she drifted away from her book club of friends and began spending time with a

01:06:50.700 new circle of like spy type people who would help her take over naples including john ronaldo

01:06:56.780 mondaleski who i believe i mentioned before who was the kind of rogue that she'd always liked

01:07:03.300 best yeah he was one of the ones she picked up on route to rome so he was involved in this as well

01:07:07.880 so all of her friends are now italians um she began sending secret letters to mazarin and together

01:07:14.020 they developed a plan to take over naples with her as the queen and the naming philippe as the heir

01:07:18.660 mazarin was like great i'll just get an army to do everything and you can just like parade in once

01:07:23.280 we're done and christina was like i think not i've been waiting my whole life for my own alexander 0.95

01:07:28.480 the great moment where i can personally lead troops into battle mazarin is like oh shit this 0.58

01:07:34.700 is like oh no she named mondaleski her master of the horse and placed an order for new armor and 0.96

01:07:41.500 all the things she'd need when she became queen of naples like getting very ahead of herself like

01:07:46.200 she ordered a whole new wardrobe again like where's her money coming from nowhere she has no

01:07:50.980 money she was so excited by the prospect of becoming queen of naples that she climbed to

01:07:56.860 the top of the castel san angelo and fired a cannon in her enthusiasm but she didn't aim it

01:08:02.500 into the air so in fact the cannonball just fell down into the town where it struck the via medici

01:08:07.960 a renaissance palazzo with a facade of sculpted florentine lilies now one less lily than before

01:08:14.340 with a cannonball lodged in its place and i am going to end things there for now yes christina

01:08:24.160 is going to be a four-part episode because like other people even catalina it's like eventually

01:08:29.480 her life slowed down christina never slowed down she just keeps going so next week we're going to

01:08:36.100 get more about christina and yeah thank you so much for listening to this little podcast

01:08:42.460 so if you go to vulgarhistory.com there's a form there where you can leave me feedback suggestions

01:08:48.000 of people to talk about in future episodes especially if you know about any cool jewish

01:08:51.820 women you can there's links in the show notes but if you buy books through bookshop.org using

01:08:57.980 the link in the show notes then a little bit of money helps to support this podcast you can also 0.99

01:09:02.580 shop at vulgarhistory.store to get vulgar history merch you can use code tits out for free u.s

01:09:08.580 shipping or tits out 10 for 10 off on vulgarhistory.store there is maybe the my most favorite

01:09:15.940 thing i've ever put in the store the affair of the necklace the necklace the t-shirt which is 0.89

01:09:19.440 a t-shirt that makes it look like you're wearing the necklace from the jean de lamotte jewel heist

01:09:24.220 anyway many things to look at there you can also support the show at patreon.com and foster writer

01:09:30.020 so that's where if you pledge at least a dollar a month you get early access to the episodes if

01:09:34.880 you pledge at least five dollars a month then you get the super secret sexy episodes you get

01:09:39.640 vulgar peace theater where we will be talking shortly alison epstein lenoa johnson and i about

01:09:45.120 the girl king a movie book christina that is kind of christina fan fiction and the sense of it's

01:09:51.440 just like what does this have to do with who this nightmare person even was beautiful costumes and

01:09:57.180 then also when you pledge at least five dollars a month on patreon then you get access to sew this 0.98

01:10:01.560 asshole i just put up a poll there to choose who the next so this asshole person is going to be and 0.97

01:10:07.940 massive because of a massive margin of votes it's going to be christopher columbus so like 0.99

01:10:13.940 as much as i don't like talking about antwerp christopher columbus so stay tuned for that

01:10:18.800 anyway and the patreon that's just like the money you pledge i give you the podcasts um as a thank

01:10:24.940 you for supporting me but also the patreon is a way to directly support me and my work which i

01:10:30.540 appreciate very much. You can follow me on Instagram at vulgarhistorypod, on Twitter at

01:10:36.940 vulgarhistory. Honestly, everything's wild. The world is just like, what is even happening? But

01:10:44.500 I'm glad that we have this podcast to enjoy and just vibe out together, learning about

01:10:49.580 Christine of Sweden. So keep your pants on and your tits out, and I'll talk to you next time. 0.99

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Vulgar History - July 06, 2022

International, part 16： Kristina of Sweden is a Freelance Queen (pt 3⧸4)

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