00:22:52.280Like she's just this sweet little girl, the sweet little baby angel.
00:22:56.380And just growing up in this kind of like, you know, Narnia place, like not that it's snowy all the time, but all of her, it seems like later in life, her fond memories of her childhood are all snow based.
00:23:09.720To the extent that when she was in France, every time it snowed, she was filled with this sort of like nostalgic happiness.
00:23:16.900She's just excited when it snows because she remembers all these fun things she did in the snow when she was a child.
00:23:21.360So while she's being a little kid and like having a nice time and whatever, wars are happening. That's what her mother is busy doing. So her mother's archenemy was Friedrich the Great. And he, Marie Antoinette from ages like birth until I think around this, like age six or seven, like this is where Auster was not actively at war with Friedrich the Great.
00:23:44.160so the first six years of her life were maybe especially less stressful because her mother
00:23:49.260was not actively leading armies and wars but then at this point freedom the great
00:23:53.480fucked around found out and um anyway they went back to war so they're back to her but still
00:24:02.520like she's at home she's just like chilling with her siblings learning to play the harpsichord0.75
00:24:07.500whatever just like having a nice little time and i do want to mention like she's still a little kid
00:24:12.260at this point six or seven years old and but i think it became evident fairly early on that she0.91
00:24:19.340or she was skilled at gracefulness a dancing she had emotional intelligence but she was not
00:24:24.360book smart she struggled with uh reading and with writing and a lot of her struggles
00:24:32.000in one of the books that i cited so nancy goldstone's book she does outright suggest
00:24:37.740said Marie Antoinette maybe had what we would now consider somebody with ADHD, or potentially,
00:24:43.460certainly learning difficulties, potentially like dyslexia or something like she found reading
00:24:49.300really hard. She struggled with it. And there weren't people around there with strategies to
00:24:55.180get her to succeed in this. Actually, she had a governess who really liked her. And again,
00:25:00.760this is kind of like the emotional intelligence, like Marie Antoinette was just so nice and pleasant
00:25:04.940that her government and her mother wanted to have like regular report cards like how is she doing0.95
00:25:08.560um and the governess couldn't be like uh actually she doesn't know how to read or write and doesn't0.99
00:25:14.580want to learn so what the governess would do eventually is she would just like write the0.99
00:25:18.500essays like in pencil and Marie Antoinette would trace over the letters because she was1.00
00:25:22.420illiterate like she didn't know what the letters even said but she would trace over it in ink and1.00
00:25:27.920then they would hand that to Marie Teresa and then it would seem like Marie Antoinette was
00:25:30.880learning the lessons, but she was not, but she was, she's a sort of person and this isn't necessarily
00:25:37.160an ADHD thing because I'm also the sort of person and I don't have that, but where she's not, if
00:25:44.720she's not good at something, she's not interested in it. She doesn't want to stick with it long
00:25:49.020enough to get good at it. Like when I was in school, I was good at history. Um, and obviously
00:25:57.620like anything that was story-based I love history I loved English I love reading and writing but
00:26:03.620like math and science like I was not inherently skilled at those things and I didn't love
00:26:10.980becoming good at them so she will see this later in her life as well like I'm focusing so much on
00:26:17.500Marie Antoinette as a kid because this is really who she is before she gets to Versailles and she
00:26:22.620gets to Versailles at such a young age she doesn't have much of a chance to become anything other than
00:26:27.280this child who she is. But when something is hard, she wasn't, she didn't have the focus to
00:26:33.760stick with it. And I think that's partially her personality and partially like the ADHD of it all.
00:26:39.100But she just, she was young. Well, at this point, seven years old, but she was sort of the youngest
00:26:45.780daughter of this family. She was beloved. She found ways to make it seem like she was doing
00:26:50.440better at school than she was. And, and she was getting away with it and she could have gone on
00:26:56.760her whole life this way, but we'll see what happens. Anyway, when she was about 10 years old,
00:27:02.700so her father, her whole family, basically her father, her mother, and the oldest sibling,
00:27:09.460Pack, were all going off to Innsbruck to prepare for one of her older brother's weddings. And
00:27:17.000so the whole family was getting ready to go. The littlest kids were just kind of like,
00:27:22.960boohoo we want to go to and her dad actually held up the whole procession of carriages because he's
00:27:29.120like i need to go say goodbye to my favorite marie antoinette so he like much the irritation
00:27:34.740of maria theresa who's just like let's go we have a schedule francis is like no no i need like i need
00:27:39.260to hug marie antoinette and so he he made everybody wait until a little marie antoinette
00:27:44.480like 10 year old marie antoinette could be brought out so he could hug her um and they were like why
00:27:49.760did you do that, man? And he's like, I longed to kiss that child, he said. Like he just, that's
00:27:55.260his fave. And I think he knew that she needed to see him one more time. And then on route to or
00:28:02.180from this wedding, he suddenly died of a heart attack. So that was the last time Marie Antoinette
00:28:07.220ever saw her dad. Her mother returned from this journey, really, really upset. We talked in the
00:28:12.620Maria Teresa episode that she was like digmatized by her husband. She was obsessed with him and had1.00
00:28:21.060been since she was a girl. So she, but like anybody, like your husband suddenly died in
00:28:24.520front of you. Obviously she's traumatized. So she came back completely changed. She was just
00:28:28.780in mourning for the rest of her life. She painted the walls of her house black. Like she, her mother
00:28:32.900was changed. And so Maria Antoinette's life shifted somewhat because her father died and that's a huge
00:28:38.500changed for anybody but also the father was kind of like the he smoothed things over like her
00:28:44.620mother's really intense and whatever and her father would sort of like make everybody get
00:28:48.440along a bit better but now the mother's there intense but also in this like intense morning
00:28:52.280and and everything but so for the next like we're just we're skipping ahead but like two years go
00:28:57.380by she goes from 10 to 12 she's hanging out most of the time with her sister charlotte and still
00:29:02.780having a relatively carefree childhood because she's the youngest daughter and her mother doesn't
00:29:07.580really pay attention to her. So she and her sister, Charlotte, they would have like picnics
00:29:12.140and play in the garden and like pull tricks on the governess. And the governess was like, okay,
00:29:16.500don't learn how to read. That's fine. And she, part of the reason why her mother was not super
00:29:22.760paying attention to her, besides the fact that her mother was like in mourning and at war and
00:29:28.720had all these other siblings. It's at this point, there's, I think, five unmarried older sisters.
00:29:34.140And so the job of these girls who are all technically, they were archduchesses, that
00:29:38.180was their title, was to be married off to somebody in some other kingdom or duchy or
00:29:44.380country who Austria wanted to do an alliance with and a way to like, you see this in history
00:29:51.320constantly, like this is not specific to just this family, but that's kind of the role of
00:29:56.260daughters was like the role of sons is to inherit the kingdom or the duchy or whatever,
00:30:01.760the empire and the role of daughters is to be married somewhere else to like cement an alliance
00:30:06.720and the reason you do that is because for instance austria and france if you want to be like we're
00:30:12.100going to work together austria and france like we had been enemies but now we're friends and to
00:30:16.320show that we mean that we're gonna marry your boy to my girl and then that means like now we're
00:30:23.240family so we have to stay it would be really awkward to not be in alliance anymore because
00:30:28.620now we're married to each other, especially once those two people, the two people who marry each
00:30:32.160other have a child and that child represents the combination of these two places. But Marie Antoinette
00:30:36.320had five older sisters who were marriageable, by which I mean, she had one older sister whose name
00:30:43.540was Maria Anna, who they called Mary Ann, and she's not considered marriageable because she had
00:30:47.700physical differences. And this is like, if you go all the way back, if you're a history girly to
00:30:53.900like Henry VIII being like, show me a picture of Anna of Cleves. Like, is she hot? Like to convince
00:30:58.560somebody from another kingdom to marry your child, you had to prove that that daughter was0.99
00:31:02.740beautiful. And if that daughter was not what was considered beautiful by the other country,
00:31:06.900then maybe they wouldn't want to marry her. So the sister, Marianne, was not only she had
00:31:12.380physical differences, but also she was sort of like, she had health problems too. And so the
00:31:16.880role of these duchesses is to be beautiful enough that another country would be like, yes, you can,1.00
00:31:21.700she can marry into our family. But also, is she healthy enough that she can have children? Because1.00
00:31:26.640the whole purpose of these alliances is to have these children. And Marianne seemed like she0.71
00:31:30.980probably wouldn't be healthy or hearty enough to have children. So honestly, she dodged all of the0.91
00:31:35.480bullets, Marianne. Her mother made her be the abbess of a nunnery, but she didn't have to go
00:31:41.640live in the nunnery. So she just stayed at home and chilled. And for her, compared to what happens
00:31:46.040to all of her sisters who were sent off to these horrible marriages, she did okay. Anyway, so
00:31:51.300Marianne Toinette is the youngest of all these sisters. And there's different countries that
00:31:54.420her mother wants to like cement alliances with, but, um, there's enough sisters lined up for those1.00
00:32:01.400marriages. So Marie Antoinette's not even being thought about in that context yet. She's like 12
00:32:05.080and whatever. And then smallpox. So 1767. So smallpox is a main recurring character in this
00:32:14.660story. Sometimes for this podcast, for some of the seasons or like mini series, I make like a
00:32:19.380bingo sheet, sort of like a drinking game for the podcast, but like smallpox is going to come up a
00:32:23.780lot in this story and this is its first appearance so 1767 so what happened is that one of her older
00:32:31.700sisters maria josepha died of smallpox um a whole bunch of people got smallpox at this point even
00:32:37.320maria theresa the mom got smallpox it seemed like she was so close to dying that they gave her the
00:32:41.340last rites which is like what you do in a catholic family before someone dies i should mention i
00:32:45.980hadn't this family is catholic and that's pretty important because the only nations they could
00:32:50.180marry the daughters too had to be other catholic nations like france so because maria josepha the
00:32:56.560older sister died of smallpox that meant all the other girls were like scooched up in the order of0.99
00:33:00.840like who's gonna be married to who and then i'm just double checking oh yeah and then she had0.97
00:33:06.420another sister elizabeth maria elizabeth elizabetta who was the prettiest of the old the older0.91
00:33:14.100siblings like remember there's like the two sibling groups and maria antona is like the
00:33:18.020prettiest of the younger batch and maria elizabeth was the prettiest of the older batch so she was
00:33:23.240like okay we're gonna get like a actually really good alliance for her because she's so pretty
00:33:26.900she got smallpox survived but her face um she just had smallpox scars on her face so suddenly now
00:33:34.240the whole like is she beautiful enough to convince somebody to marry her like that's not true anymore
00:33:39.360so then she was forced to become an abbess of a nunnery as well but she could also stay at home
00:33:43.380So again, she kind of got out of this. Okay. Although it was really devastating for her to have gone from thinking of all these opportunities or options in life to just being like, no, you have smallpox. You're an uggo, like the end. So again, Marie Antoinette was like scooched up twice in this list of like, which sister is going to marry where. So this is again, like to whoever there is, thank you for this. I hope that there's someone doing this, keeping a list of like all the things that had to happen for Marie Antoinette's life to turn out the way it was.
00:34:12.020like one thing is, I don't know, you could put this as one thing or two things. So like Maria
00:34:17.180Joseph, a dying of smallpox is one thing. Um, Elizabeth being, having these like after effects
00:34:23.840of smallpox where she can be married as a second thing, but like, this wasn't even supposed to be1.00
00:34:28.100Marie Antoinette's fate to marry the French heir to the throne. Like one of the other sisters1.00
00:34:33.160probably would have done that, but instead she is the one who's left. And so, and you know,
00:34:38.320there's letters back and forth. There's Maria Teresa and the French King, Louis the 15th being
00:34:41.900like, Hey, I have all these daughters. You want like one of them to marry the Dauphin? I should
00:34:46.780say, we're going to explain a lot about his character in a bit, but Louis the 15th is the
00:34:51.600King of France. He had a son also called Louis. Everyone there is called Louis. We'll figure out
00:34:56.340some nicknames as we get going. Louis the 15th son got married, had children and then died.
00:35:02.180So it's his, the son of the son. So Louis the 15th is the King. His grandson is the heir to the
00:35:07.760throne his oldest surviving grandson so that is who they're arraigning the marriage of louis the
00:35:13.36015th we've talked about on this podcast before because he had at this point he had a lover
00:35:19.340and he had taken a new mistress who was madame du barry who used to work at this hat shop that
00:35:26.640was kind of like the hooters of paris at the time where it was just all the shop girls were just like0.93
00:35:31.820hot young girls um and that's where she was and she was spotted and then she became a courtesan
00:35:36.840and then she's introduced to the king and now she had this like official job as mistress of the
00:35:41.980king and at this point louis the 15th is i don't know probably like 50 years old or so and he is
00:35:48.260entirely checked out from being a king he's just over it he's been the king since he was a little
00:35:52.240kid and he's just like you know what i want to do like if he was a guy today he'd be like you know
00:35:56.460what i want to do play golf constantly but back then golf wasn't the vibe the vibe was hunting
00:36:02.900And so he just, he didn't care about ruling.
00:36:06.580He kind of like let the ministers do all of that.
00:36:08.600And this is part of like, put this on your 13 reasons why list.0.97
00:36:11.540The fact that Louis XV just like, didn't give a shit anymore about improving things in France.0.92
00:36:17.520Anyway, so he's just like, he's considering like, yeah, this might be good.0.91
00:36:22.200Like to solidify this alliance between Austria and France.
00:36:24.520Like maybe we can do this marriage between this grandson who, spoiler, he didn't care about at all.
00:36:29.180And one of the daughters of Maria Teresa.
00:36:31.700And then Louis XV's wife, described by Nancy Goldstone as his long-suffering wife, because this guy, he's in his lame duck king era where he's just truly not doing anything. He loves being around his mistress, Madame du Barry. He also has other whores, as we like to say on the show, pronouncing like that. I don't know why I do that, but we do.
00:36:52.820anyway, he had lots of mistresses. Um, he had like Madame du Berry was his official mistress
00:36:57.920before that it had been Madame de Pompadour. He had this place called the deer park where he just
00:37:02.160like invited young women to like fuck them. Like he, this is the thing. So if he was a guy today,1.00
00:37:08.160he would be going golfing all the time, but he was a guy back then. And what he did was go hunting
00:37:12.080and also just fucking young women and including his mistress. This is why his wife is long1.00
00:37:18.020suffering because this guy sounds like a really shitty husband. Anyway, she died. In terms of the0.99
00:37:23.320people who die in this story, I'd like to note what they die of. Her cause of death unknown,
00:37:28.920but she was age 65. I don't think it was smallpox because there would have been a bunch of smallpox
00:37:35.440related deaths and it would have said that. Anyway, she died. So suddenly Louis XV is also
00:37:39.620single. So Maria Teresa is like, ooh, what if I marry one of my daughters to the king? Like not
00:37:44.820this to the Dauphin. So this is our first introduction to some scheming people at Versailles.
00:37:51.380And everyone at Versailles is just because every royal court is always like this in every story
00:37:57.140we've ever done on this podcast. But in Versailles, the flavor of the scheminess is specific to the
00:38:02.540fact that the king had fucked off mentally, emotionally, often physically, and didn't give1.00
00:38:09.040a shit. So Versailles was sort of designed around like a king who was like a cult leader, as we0.99
00:38:14.180talked about in the Gabrielle de Polignac episode. And so now it's kind of like there's a cult,
00:38:19.220but there's not really a leader of the cult. So everyone's just jockeying for power because
00:38:24.580there's sort of a vacuum in the middle because no one's actually kind of in charge. Some of the
00:38:29.300people who are jockeying for power are the king's adult spinster daughters, who I'm going to call0.82
00:38:35.640the aunties. So they are four adult women who chose to not get married because they liked being0.95
00:38:43.140princesses of France so much. And they knew if they married, it would have to be to somebody,
00:38:48.060either a lower rank in France, and then they wouldn't be princess of France anymore.
00:38:51.580It would be to somebody from another country and they would have to,
00:38:53.920they'd have to not be French anymore. They had to adopt whatever their new culture was.0.94
00:38:58.500So they're like, we're just going to stay here and just be like the most heinous bitches.1.00
00:39:03.080And that's what they did. And they hated their father's mistress, Madame du Berry.1.00
00:39:07.180They would have hated whoever their father's mistress was, because that was a person who
00:39:12.080had the father's ear, who maybe was influencing their father instead of them. And the leader of
00:39:17.240the aunties was Adelaide. And we talked about her in the Adelaide Labie Gouillard episode a while
00:39:23.740ago, if you want to scroll back and hear about her in a more favorable way. But Madame Adelaide
00:39:29.280was sort of the leader of the aunties who were just like, bitches, brackets, derogatory. So1.00
00:39:35.700they were like, okay, we hate Madame DuBerry because she's like a slut. She's like a bugly1.00
00:39:41.800slut. She like worked in Hooters. We don't like our beloved mother just died. And we want,1.00
00:39:47.820we don't want this like Hooters girl to like have all the power at Versailles anymore. We want us0.94
00:39:52.760to sort of like represent our mother's interests and like be his advisors. And so they're like,
00:39:56.380okay, what we need to do is find some sort of like Princess Diana like person. And by Princess
00:40:01.560Diana, I mean, when Princess Diana first married Charles, some sort of like young, naive person
00:40:07.060who's not going to be schemey or malicious to marry our father so that, I don't know,
00:40:14.120the aunts were just like, we want more power. So we want to marry our father to some like0.83
00:40:19.180innocent young woman. So they're like, ooh, what about if we marry one of Maria Teresa's1.00
00:40:24.320daughters to our father? And they were like, oh, we heard that Elizabeth is really beautiful.
00:40:29.440and she's like 25 or something like that's an okay age but the king was like okay sure like
00:40:35.860let's see what what's up with madame elizabeth and he found out like oh no she has smallpox scars
00:40:39.760so this uh did not happen and then the other available sisters were all like 14 and louis0.71
00:40:46.840like i no thanks like i don't no thanks so again like so this is another like on our list of
00:40:54.740reasons Marie Antoinette maybe wouldn't have gone to France if one of her sisters had been married
00:41:01.520to the king but that didn't happen actually I like so Lou is suspicious um about Elizabeth it's
00:41:08.280not just like he heard word that she had like smallpox scars he sent a portrait painter to Vienna
00:41:12.840which you know it's sort of like sending like a paparazzi to just be like what so I just picked
00:41:17.440the portrait painter showing up and just like really quickly sketching like a courtroom sketch
00:41:20.640to be like oh here's what she looks like and then sending that back anyway so the king decided like
00:41:24.400you know what i'm just this i'm not going to remarry at all i don't i don't need to remarry
00:41:29.040i've got madame du barry like to cement this french austrian alliance let's just marry
00:41:35.100my grandson the heir to the throne which in france is called the dauphin to marie antoinette0.96
00:41:40.900this person who's like a similar age so marie antoinette at this point is like 13 14 and the
00:41:45.920grandson is like 14 15 so they're similar age at least but louis was just like but we need to make
00:41:52.860sure Marie Antoinette is like, we'll fit in at Versailles, by which I mean, is she beautiful
00:41:58.400and graceful and are her teeth straight? This was very important to him. And so again, I think the
00:42:05.660portrait painter came down to Vienna and was like, oh no, oh mon dieu, Hermann, more pills.1.00
00:42:12.040Because Marie Antoinette had crooked teeth. She had crooked teeth. She had like a high hairline.1.00
00:42:17.420she had like a five head which if you're watching this on video on patreon i also do um so i relate
00:42:25.060to her in that way but in versailles they're like no we don't like a high forehead we don't like
00:42:29.400crooked teeth don't like red hair especially not curly red hair so marie antoinette just like
00:42:34.800the portrait painter i just picture him like poised and ready to paint the portrait and maria
00:42:38.640theresa's like not yet and just like rushing marie antoinette out of the room so they gave
00:42:42.660for this like over three months makeover they got this dentist which like again this is 1769
00:42:53.060so they got a 1769 european dentist who came in and he had just invented braces but it wasn't
00:43:00.500braces like how i had it's not it's not invisalign it's not even like the little metal things you
00:43:05.200put on it's like like a giant headgear thing but then i also read descriptions that there was like
00:43:10.880some oral surgery was done so maybe some teeth were pulled like anesthetic not invented yet so
00:43:16.260she's going through this like dental trauma and then louis also sent down from versailles his
00:43:22.520mistress's hairdresser who's also his late wife's hairdresser who came down to like figure out a new
00:43:27.740style for marie antoinette that would be like it's not bangs because if you see portraits of
00:43:32.620her she doesn't have bangs but they just figured out a way to kind of like hide the five head and1.00
00:43:37.600part of the issue with Marie Antoinette was she had like traction alopecia because she liked to1.00
00:43:41.700pull her hair back in like a hair band. And I don't know, it just got pulled so tight that she1.00
00:43:46.700was like, there's like bald spots along her hairline. So they're like, let's just like do
00:43:50.160like a protective style so that your hair can regrow. They didn't like that she had red hair.
00:43:56.220That was not the vibe in Versailles. They're not fans of Anna Green Gables. And so, you know,
00:44:01.820just various powders and stuff to like, she had curly red hair. And they're like, what we want0.88
00:44:06.160you're going to have is like not curly, not red hair. So the hairstylist like figured some stuff
00:44:10.840out anyway. So like she was having this makeover done. She was like, and then at the end of that,0.99
00:44:16.760they, the port, they'd let the portrait painter do the portrait and he drew her. And, um, the
00:44:22.420King was like, Oh yeah, no, she's pretty. It's funny. Cause like her mouth is closed in the
00:44:27.300portrait, but like he knew her teeth were straight somehow. I do want to mention too,
00:44:32.180because so maria theresa was a hapsburg which is a famous royal dynasty you might have heard of in
00:44:38.980the context of inbreeding so there is we talked about this in the maria theresa episode there's
00:44:43.140two kinds of hapsburgs there's the austrian ones and there's the spanish ones and the spanish ones
00:44:48.720are the ones where it's like oh let's marry a father to his daughter or whatever and then you
00:44:52.980get the like hapsburg jaw where we see the portraits of people where you're like i don't
00:44:56.640think that person could chew food. Like the Habsburg jaw became such a inbred trait because0.64
00:45:03.200the family was so inbred that this trait just kept getting kind of more and more detrimental to0.79
00:45:08.620people's health. The Austrian Habsburgs were, I'm going to say, much less inbred, still kind of
00:45:15.520inbred like any kind of Western European royal family, but not as much so. So the trait that
00:45:21.080Marie Antoinette had from her Habsburg jeans was called the Habsburg lip. So she had kind of like
00:45:26.740a permanently pouting lower lip, which I think these days in the days of like lip filler and0.99
00:45:32.380whatever would be like very cute. You know, people put like you apply lip gloss in a way to look like
00:45:37.320you're always kind of pouting. But at that point, the pouting lip, like first of all, it was evidence
00:45:41.400of her Habsburg like lineage, but also it gave her a resting bitch face. And I've described this0.99
00:45:47.140like sweet kind emotionally empathetic person which is what she was like so it is unfortunate1.00
00:45:52.660that she had a resting bitch face or it's almost like a resting snob face um like when she wasn't0.99
00:46:00.200smiling or talking to somebody like her face would just kind of look like she's being like0.99
00:46:03.760like like she's disapproving of you which is not her vibe which is why when you see portraits of
00:46:09.640her and she knew this and her father knew this the portraits are always face on she's never painted
00:46:14.780in profile the only time you can really see her profile is like there's some busts which is like
00:46:18.840a statue of just her head and shoulders and when you look at that from the side you can see this
00:46:22.420kind of like this sort of like resting snob face that she had anyway so i don't know if the dentist
00:46:27.540tried to fix that but whatever he did she looked good but then this is where maria theresa is like
00:46:33.480oh great like well she's a daughter of mine so she must be well educated you know i saw all these0.87
00:46:38.020essays she wrote and so then they sent a tutor to um you know just like make sure she knew what
00:46:44.000they want her to know, but like French history and like French language. And the tutor showed
00:46:47.380up and it's like, oh, she's illiterate, illiterate. Like she is not just like, she doesn't know
00:46:52.260French is like a second language. Like she doesn't know how to read or write in like German,
00:46:57.420which is her first language. So this is a surprise to Maria Teresa and to everybody
00:47:03.100because she's being sent to Versailles. And at this point they thought that she needed to be
00:47:08.460very, um, she needed to know French history. She needed to, well, she needs to know the French
00:47:13.240language obviously this reminds me of you know i'm a fan of the k-pop group blackpink and there's
00:47:18.260a documentary about them on netflix from a few years ago which is why i first learned that so
00:47:22.140lisa who's one of the members from blackpink is from thailand and she was discovered because you
00:47:26.960know she's such a good dancer and stuff and then she went to korea to do her training but she didn't
00:47:30.400speak a word of korean she spoke some english so luckily she met like rose who's also in the band
00:47:35.500who speaks english and they really hit it off but like to show up in another country and it's not
00:47:39.620just like oh I know kind of like if I went to I don't know France or Spain it's like yeah I'm not
00:47:44.920fluent in those languages but I like know some basic nouns I know how to say hi or thank you
00:47:50.180like Marie Antoinette like Lisa in Black Bank just does not know this language of this country where
00:47:55.900she's being sent so they're like okay well these tutors are going to teach her French but I mentioned
00:48:00.820before like that she's an ADHD coded person who really has trouble focusing especially if she's
00:48:07.620not personally interested in the topic so she was sequestered she's kind of quarantined for this
00:48:14.840sort of like it reminds me of the movie the princess diaries um just like sort of princess
00:48:20.060school where it's like let's just teach her everything so she had some classes that i think
00:48:24.240she probably enjoyed like ballet which i think had just been recently invented or something and
00:48:29.500this guy came down who maybe it was the inventor of ballet she's already gifted like she had been
00:48:34.100taught ballet she was so graceful like i said before but he taught her the versailles glide0.98
00:48:39.480which is like versailles is this extremely insular fucked up cult that has more rules than i could0.99
00:48:48.240ever describe to you and expectations and etiquette and one of the things that everybody0.91
00:48:52.280has to do at versailles if you're a woman is walk extremely elegantly in such a way that it doesn't
00:48:58.200even look like your feet are moving which you're like how would you do that well just picture like1.00
00:49:01.320a big hoop skirt that covers your feet. So you just kind of, you see sort of people in the
00:49:06.960nutcracker ballet sometimes the, um, mother ginger sort of moves like this. Anyway. So she
00:49:12.200got a dance instructor to show her how to do the Versailles glide, the special walk, but also how
00:49:18.860to stand with a certain posture. And I think she already like, again, this is like, like Lisa in
00:49:23.480Blackpink, like Marie Antoinette, like does really well with, um, physical movement based tasks0.85
00:49:29.100because she has this gracefulness in herself.0.99
00:49:33.880But then also she had to learn, I don't know,
00:49:35.760there's all these, I want to say 17 different kinds of curtsies
00:49:39.040that she had to master and do extremely perfectly.
00:52:13.020So he figured out like if I tell her stuff in the form of conversation instead of because we already mentioned like reading, like as much as they're trying to like get her up to where they expected her reading capabilities to be at this point, they're not.
00:52:26.500And reading is like reading is hard for her.
00:52:29.700Reading something she's not interested is even more hard.
00:52:31.680So he's like, well, if I just tell her things, if I can explain it to her like a podcast, then she seems to learn things better. So this is what he starts doing. And he's working hard at it. It's a real My Fair Lady, Henry Higgins vibe.
00:52:49.520and he like he was writing sort of reports back about her and he's just like she means so well
00:52:55.640she wants to learn this she just functionally is not it's so much more challenging for her
00:53:02.860like she like she just cannot focus and it's like Ritalin has not been invented so he's doing the
00:53:09.280best he can eventually the whole thing was I think he's there for six weeks after which she
00:53:14.220learned what I would say is arguably the most important skill, speaking French, like to go to
00:53:20.140another country. It's like, yeah, she might not have the minutia of like the history of the0.92
00:53:24.600country or the literature, but can she speak the language? Like that's going to be, if you know
00:53:29.920that and you know the curtsies, like I feel like those are the top skills for her to know at this
00:53:36.480point. And she was just like, at this point, like people pleasing. Like she's just like, I want to
00:53:42.700learn these things. I want to get this right. I want to do a good job. I want to make my mother
00:53:46.720proud. And the portrait, like I said, like the portrait was sent to the king to be like, look,
00:53:51.740like we fixed her teeth. We fixed, we got a new hairstyle. The got rid of the five head. Oh,
00:53:56.680I should mention. So the hairstylist had invented this new hairstyle for her, which is kind of like
00:54:01.980a chignon in the back, but sort of like swept across the front to maybe hide the forehead a
00:54:06.160little bit. And it looks so cute on her because everything looks so cute in her because she's a
00:54:09.760cute girl. The people in Vienna saw her with this hairstyle and they're like, Oh my God,
00:54:14.500I want to do my hair like that. And they called it like hairdo a la Delphine because Delphine was
00:54:19.420her title to be because her husband is a Dauphin, the heir to the throne of France,
00:54:24.480and she'll be his wife. So she's 13 years old and an influencer already. And so this is also
00:54:30.400a hint of what's to come. Like with today's influencers, if somebody is just like a cute,
00:54:35.920gregarious person and you see them wearing a certain whatever la boo boo themed lipstick
00:54:42.760or whatever you're like oh if I get that lipstick I will look like her and it's like no you'll still
00:54:48.020look like you like she looks cute because she's just a cute person but Marie Antoinette has this0.91
00:54:52.840ability she has this she's the original influencer honestly if I was to write a book I call her0.80
00:54:57.400the title of my book would be Marie Antoinette colon the original influencer because she just0.99
00:55:02.420has this uncanny ability both to look cute in new and interesting hairstyles and outfits but also to
00:55:08.540make people want to dress like her and she's also sort of like at this point the hairstyle was like
00:55:14.000given to her but she also we will see ends up being able to sort of like feel the vibe of what's
00:55:18.940going on in society and know just what trend is about to pop and like to be on top of that trend
00:55:24.540she is like zendaya in that way anyway so the kings of the portrait he's like yes she's cute0.93
00:55:30.060enough let's do this so she got married by proxy which is this thing where there was a marriage
00:55:37.020where some like her husband the heir to the throne was not there but someone stood in for him and so
00:55:43.680they had the ceremony and so she was married to him just long distance basically um one of her
00:55:49.500brothers stood in for the bridegroom and and just like that she was married she's 14 years old if
00:55:55.820you're keeping track. So she's this cute little girl and she is, she's being sent off to never
00:56:03.020see her family again to, you know, say like, I am, there was a whole ceremony where she's just like,
00:56:08.440I am no longer Austrian. I am now French. My loyalty is to France. Everything about me is
00:56:13.320French. This is where she changes her name from Maria Antonia to Marie Antoinette. And it's
00:56:17.600terrifying. And now for a quick advertising break. Ready to take your investing knowledge
00:56:23.200to pro-level? This is Fidelity Connects, your daily edge in the markets. Get deep insights
00:56:28.680on real-time market topics that may impact your investment portfolio. Listen to Fidelity Connects
00:56:33.560on Spotify today and power your next move tomorrow. Welcome to the realms of peril and glory.
00:56:42.080Explore the mechanically magical vistas of Vale, the paranormal mysteries of liminal London,
00:57:36.800And when that flame dies, something else rises to finish the job.
00:57:40.360This is a brutal rules light nightmare with a story that emerges organically
00:57:45.240based on the decisions that the characters make.
00:57:47.840This is what it felt like to play RPGs in the 80s, and man, it is so good to be back.
00:57:52.680Join the Glass Cannon podcast as we plunge into the shadow dark every Thursday night at 8 p.m. Eastern on youtube.com slash the glass cannon with the podcast version dropping the next day.
00:58:03.360See what everybody's talking about and join us in the dark.
00:59:12.420Like think about like, it's so intense to be, you know, every year is such a huge change when you're a teenager, like going from 14 to 15 is huge. But the difference between like a 14 year old, I don't know, this is like starting high school, and an 18 year old, like leaving home, maybe for the first time going to university or college, like to be leaving home forever at age 14 is intense.
00:59:37.440And she, as you might understand, as her carriage entourage was leaving Vienna, she cried. People wrote down that they saw her crying. She had all new outfits. Her mother had paid an exorbitant amount of money to get her new clothes in the French style, which is more formal than what they had been doing in Vienna.
00:59:59.660using French fabrics to show like, look, we're supporting your, you know, garment industry.
01:00:04.800So the only sort of like souvenir she's able to keep from Vienna was her mother had given her a
01:00:11.080gold watch. And we will see the gold watch is an important supporting character in the story.
01:00:16.280The gold watch makes some later appearances. She keeps it with her for the rest of her life.
01:00:19.540Her mother also sent her a letter of instructions. So if you listen to the Maria Teresa episode,
01:00:23.540you know, Maria Teresa likes to write letters and tell her children what to do.
01:00:26.640so she wrote a letter and the letter is called something like important letter read this every
01:00:31.060month for the rest of your life and it was just a list of things that marie antoinette should and
01:00:35.740should not do which are just things like do what people tell you don't make a scene like it was
01:00:41.200just sort of like vague yet specific advice yet unhelpful advice that maria theresa just thought
01:00:49.400would be i don't know she's like read this every month and marie antoinette like bless her heart
01:00:53.160did because she's like okay this is what my mother says so i'll do what she says and let's do some
01:00:57.200backstory about what she was gliding into in her versailles glide so france at this time poor
01:01:04.660in this kind of great depression slash recession era france is in its flop era um because france
01:01:12.800had been involved in numerous wars and being in wars costs a lot of money because you have to like
01:01:19.680deploy troops and pay those troops and pay for muskets and ammunition and boats and everything.
01:01:27.760So the seven years war is, I don't know, put that on your, not that you have a bingo card,
01:01:34.220but I feel like it's come up numerous times in the past couple of seasons. It was a war during
01:01:39.920which it was like, part of it was France versus England. And so France, France versus England,
01:01:46.180and there was effects in North America. And so as a result of this, as a result of France losing
01:01:52.800some stuff, so they had to give up its Canadian and its colonies in Canada and its colonies in
01:01:59.660India to England. And so France, a lot of people in France blamed Austria for the fact that France
01:02:07.500had lost this war. And so I don't know if that was because this, I'm not a war historian,
01:02:13.860but i would presume it's because france and austria were allies and maybe france felt like
01:02:20.080austria didn't show up enough for them in this war anyway french people hated austrian people1.00
01:02:26.560the antis these bitches so they they refer to marie antona as the austrian but um in french0.92
01:02:35.580it's l'austrian and the thing about that is in french it's sort of a pun so l'austrian like0.97
01:02:42.340l apostrophe austrian it's a pun because that's similar to the french word for um an emu which is0.85
01:02:49.220a bird that is thought of as being sort of dumb looking and uh bitch so like they call her oh the0.97
01:02:56.340austrian which is like they're just being like oh really the emu bitch or maybe it's ostrich i'm0.99
01:03:01.600sorry it's totally ostrich it's not emu because it sounds like ostrich so they're just like calling0.99
01:03:05.540her an ostrich bitch but they're like oh we're just saying she's austrian the aunties are my0.99
01:03:11.060enemies. So anyway, people in Austria, people in France were primed and ready to hate this little1.00
01:03:18.660girl coming there because they sort of thought we don't trust Austria. We're suspicious of them.
01:03:23.900It's like shady that they have a woman in charge in the form of Maria Teresa. And so they were
01:03:29.240just kind of like, oh, like Maria Antoinette is coming, this ostrich bitch. And she is probably1.00
01:03:35.480a secret sleeper agent. She's probably some sort of like, she's here to maybe make Austria take0.81
01:03:42.040over France, or she's like a spy, or she's going to like infiltrate herself in court and like1.00
01:03:46.920run. She'll suddenly be in charge. It's like this, it's this 14 year old basic bitch. Who's1.00
01:03:53.360like largest joy in life is like ballet and like fashion dolls. And they're like, she's coming here
01:04:01.060to ruin our country and it's xenophobia is what it is um it is hating people because of where
01:04:07.860they're from but it's also because this is she's coming from a country that for a very long time
01:04:11.560France was at war against she didn't know this she didn't know that all these people would hate her
01:04:16.440because she's just like this sweet little baby angel so the anti-Austrian faction at Versailles
01:04:22.420had kind of two groups one of the groups was Madame du Barry the mistress and the people who0.95
01:04:28.140supported her because she was the mistress and she could like get them good jobs and stuff because
01:04:31.820the king trusted her etc one of the people in this faction was um as it would so happen the man who
01:04:38.840was responsible for uh to for the education of marie antonet's husband so marie antonet's husband
01:04:43.940i just want to say he's the so madame du barry is the mistress du barry it's b-a-r-r-y marie
01:04:50.940Antoinette's husband's name is Louis Auguste. And he's the Duke of Berry, B-E-R-R-Y. And because
01:04:58.660everybody in that family is called Louis, they called each other by their title. So like his
01:05:03.000younger brothers are the Count of Artois and the Count of Provence. And so every book I read
01:05:07.440calls the brothers like Artois and Provence and like, thank you, because now I can tell them apart.
01:05:12.400So what I'm going to do is what, how he was referred to at the time, like, well, he was
01:05:16.660often called the Dauphin because that's his role. But he's a Duke of Berry. And honestly,
01:05:21.580I just think of him as Berry. And that is what I'm going to call him Marie Antoinette's husband,
01:05:27.880Berry. So Berry's tutor hated Austria and was on Madame du Berry's like payroll. So he had been
01:05:35.860training Berry to be like, don't trust Austria. Everyone there sucks. They're all like jerks,1.00
01:05:44.600like especially the women the women are manipulative never trust an austrian woman1.00
01:05:49.340they're ostrich bitches so like barry we'll talk about him we will talk about barry um was very0.99
01:05:56.140susceptible to this sort of rhetoric because he's a person who like with some when someone told him0.99
01:06:02.220something he believed it he was not someone who was a fan of nuance so he had been raised or like
01:06:07.780educated to mistrust his wife. So the reason why Madame du Barry and her gang all didn't like the
01:06:16.480concept of Marie Antoinette was not because she was Austrian. It was because they thought that
01:06:20.840she might come in and the king might like her. And so then that might take power away from Madame0.58
01:06:24.960du Barry. And if power was taken away from Madame du Barry, then all these other people like the
01:06:28.740Tudor would also have less power. So they were just like, we need to make sure the king hates
01:06:32.620her that's one branch of the hater hateration nation the other group is led by the aunties
01:06:41.180so this is adelaide victoire and sophie so they all hated like they hated madame du barry yes
01:06:48.160but they also hated austria and they also hated women so they hated marie antoinette because also
01:06:56.320they thought she was going to come in and the king was going to like her and that would give them
01:06:59.240the aunties less power as well. So all of these groups, like both branches of Hateration Nation0.96
01:07:05.500wanted this marriage to fail by which they meant they wanted Marie Antoinette to be such a mess,
01:07:12.000to make so many like gaffes and etiquette mistakes and ideally not get pregnant that
01:07:17.260she could be sent back to Vienna and they could just get rid of her. So they were primed and0.93
01:07:21.060ready to just like not help her succeed to make, to make her be so hated that she could never1.00
01:07:31.060succeed so that all of them could have more power because they were all assholes. So just a reminder1.00
01:07:38.380as well, the reason why Hateration Nation was able to reach this point of extreme hatred was
01:07:46.360because again remember the king golf king like and again by golf he wasn't playing golf he was0.97
01:07:52.600hunting and he was banging whores he was like the lame duck king he was not doing anything so his0.97
01:07:59.780and he never went out in public because he knew everybody hated him and everybody hated him0.99
01:08:04.440because he was a do-nothing king who was just playing golf all day he also um had done some
01:08:10.440unpopular reforms. Like when he decided to give a shit, he was just like, do this. And then like0.99
01:08:16.880stuff just happened, but no one really. So he was kind of a tyrant who just pushed through what he
01:08:21.020wanted. And then the rest of the time he was just playing golf. And that doesn't remind me at all
01:08:24.800of any 2025 political figures, but that's what he was like. So he also, but like the monarchy
01:08:32.700was so unpopular in the rest of France. Like in Versailles, everybody was always trying to get
01:08:38.420his attention and for him to give them favors which he didn't really because he didn't give a0.96
01:08:43.920shit but everyone in the rest of France hated him because he was directly responsible for the0.98
01:08:48.800country being in a state of um great depression slash recession and he clearly didn't give a1.00
01:08:56.440shit and so that made people hate him and they also people also hated Madame du Barry historically0.89
01:09:00.900the people of Paris so it's sort of Paris is its own ecosystem it's like near Versailles but it's0.99
01:09:07.020separate and then there's kind of like in the countryside people are just kind of like we're
01:09:10.060just farmers whatever so paris is like the eco center is that the word of like anti-king hatred
01:09:18.580so whoever the royal mistress was people usually hated so usually the way that things worked the
01:09:26.280way the way that things were currently working is that there's a king and he has a wife and the wife
01:09:30.460is just kind of like this boring nothing person like is how she would seem like she would just0.78
01:09:35.020dress kind of plain, she would host parties, she would have children, and that is her role. And0.83
01:09:39.240she was not ever expected or suspected of having any sort of political motivations at all. Her
01:09:44.800whole job was just to be a womb, which is what Marie Antoinette was being sent to France to do,1.00
01:09:48.680which is what all of her sisters were sent to other countries to do, to just be a womb and1.00
01:09:53.860deliver babies. So the royal wife, that's her role, really, just kind of sit around,0.97
01:09:58.900do some embroidery and mind your own business. The royal mistress was a powerful political role.1.00
01:10:04.660So the royal mistress would have her household or be like a whole, all kinds of jobs would be created to support the mistress and her household. And she was seen as having the political influence because she was the one that the king chose to be around. The wife was just there for like baby making, but the mistress was someone who the king liked to be around.0.98
01:10:22.720so the royal mistress would have this political power and so people saw the king playing golf all
01:10:31.380day and they're like well that's madame du Barry's fault so like there's always got to be a scapegoat
01:10:37.900and in this and it's almost always the royal mistress so people hated him people hated her
01:10:45.940but they knew that the Dauphin was going to marry Marie like by they I mean the people of Paris
01:10:52.780They knew the Dauphin was going to marry this Austrian princess.
01:10:55.120And so the people of Paris weren't necessarily being like,1.00
01:11:19.880They're just excited to have young people.
01:11:21.500So at this point, Versailles, everybody at Versailles mostly was distrustful of Marie Antoinette and wanted her to fail. The people of Paris were just like excited to have like a young person. So she's being supported by Paris, the city where she's not. And everybody at Versailles, the place where she's going, were actively trying to make her fail.
01:11:44.840And she's just this little 14-year-old girl who's just kind of like heading off away from everything she's ever known.
01:11:52.740This like wholesome life of, you know, going, building snowmen and drinking hot chocolate with her sisters.0.58
01:11:57.940So she headed off to France in this French maid carriage.0.84
01:12:01.540And there was a whole negotiation about like what route will she take?0.57
01:12:04.700And at what point will she switch from having her Austrian entourage with her to having French people with her?
01:12:10.240And so ultimately they decided that they made kind of a pop-up cottage on the border between Austria and France on this kind of like sandbar slash island.
01:12:20.540So there had been a cottage there before from, I think it was when Louis XV's wife had come over like decades before.
01:12:27.060And they just kind of like zhuzhed it up a little bit.
01:12:29.800So because it was sort of abandoned cottage on a sandbar, they had to like quickly make it look nice.
01:12:35.480And the way that he made things look nice in this era was by hanging tapestries, which are just sort of, which are embroidered murals, really.
01:12:42.140And so it seems like they just kind of were like, we need tapestries right now.
01:12:45.980Like, I don't care what they're of, like, bring us tapestries to decorate this pop-up cottage.
01:12:50.640And so these included, because these were the ones I got, some potentially inappropriate imagery, specifically of the story of Jason and Medea from Greek mythology.
01:13:01.920super quickly. The story of Jason and Medea from Greek mythology, not Medea from Tyler Perry,
01:13:08.680Medea from Greek mythology. So they were a couple in Greek mythology. Jason Medea got married and
01:13:15.740then he left her. They had children, then he left her. And she was so mad that he left her
01:13:19.300that she killed her children because she's like, I don't even want him to have the joy of these
01:13:23.080children. And then he was so mad that she killed the children that he then killed Medea. So one of
01:13:28.420the tapestries in this pop-up cottage was an image of Jason killing Medea. So it's like,
01:13:34.180hey, Marie Antoinette, welcome to this pop-up cottage where you're 14 years old and
01:13:38.940you know, happy marriage, Jason Medea. But what's interesting is that Marie Antoinette,
01:13:46.080we do know later in her life, she did have imagery of Medea with her, like a pendant or something.
01:13:51.620So this story stuck with her or resonated with her in some way, seemingly. Anyway, so she arrived,
01:13:56.880like interested locals were all there like watching her arrive which it's like i don't
01:14:00.640think she's gonna have a private moment for the rest of her life from this point everything she
01:14:04.020does is always watched by people anyway so she walked into cottage um into a changing room and0.83
01:14:09.140so she had to remove every piece of clothing she was wearing even though it was french style and0.82
01:14:14.180the french fabric it was still her like clothes from her old life so those clothes were removed
01:14:18.460very slowly and then she was very slowly dressed in new french clothes by her new french entourage
01:14:25.080And just standing there naked in front of all of these people, she apparently burst into tears because lots of people would, especially a 14 year old who had just been removed from the only home and family she ever knew. And it was, remember, it was this like warm supportive family asterix as much as possible in this context. And suddenly like, this is a terrifying thing that's happening to her.
01:14:46.760So she was introduced to her new French ladies-in-waiting.
01:14:48.860And the head lady-in-waiting was this woman called Madame de Nuyal,0.88
01:14:53.100who Marie Antoinette would quickly, secretly refer to as Madame Etiquette.0.50
01:14:58.000Because Madame Etiquette was obsessed with, you know,
01:15:01.820so Versailles, this cult with 750 rules, you have to remember all the time.
01:15:07.100And if anyone breaks any of the rules, they're like mocked mercilessly and like not allowed to return.
01:15:11.580and madame etiquette was just like here's the rules and you need to know all of them and if
01:15:16.720you fuck it up like it is the apocalypse to her if it's like i don't know like like me today it's
01:15:21.880like oh my god you tucked your hair behind your right ear in front of the duke of whatever it's0.97
01:15:26.340just like well your reputation is ruined so there's so many things to know and but marie
01:15:30.500internet just like she had left this like family where like to these governesses who supported her
01:15:35.840she had like these loving relationships with her sisters and her friends she summoned him etiquette
01:15:39.940And she just ran towards her and hugged her crying, like wanting to be reassured, I guess.
01:15:43.900And Madame Etiquette was just like, this is not appropriate for the Dauphine of France to
01:15:49.280show emotions and touch people. So Marie Antoinette was just like, oh, right. Okay.
01:15:54.660So she said, pardon me. These tears are for the family and the fatherland I'm leaving for the
01:15:58.520future. I shall not forget that I am French. And so it took about a week to travel from the
01:16:04.120sandbar to just outside of Versailles. And along the route, like she, it was exhausting for her.
01:16:09.300honestly it's like you know actors doing a press tour for a movie like so all along the route like
01:16:14.440she's based off in every village and there was like parties and fireworks and like people had
01:16:18.840tied like gold and silver ribbon around the trees to welcome her and there's like candles
01:16:23.980little children presented her with bouquets like she watched plays like everyone was just really0.74
01:16:30.440excited to see her this new celebrity and she was so cute and so pretty people were yelling
01:16:35.520as she processed like long live madame the dauphine so like this is the sort of thing that0.98
01:16:41.020the haters the hater nation knew would happen like they knew that she would be cute and pretty1.00
01:16:46.940and people would like her and this is what they were terrified of that she would be popular um
01:16:52.540and she was so anyway eventually after a week she's exhausted i think she gets a cold at some
01:16:58.160point along this way she finally shows up at the outskirts of versailles to meet her actual husband
01:17:02.360So the king is there and her actual husband. And so she met them and she floated into a curtsy so graceful that even Madame Etiquette could not criticize her. Like Marie Antoinette, if there's one thing she can do, it's curtsy and it's glide walk and it's dance ballet. This is her skill.
01:17:23.560So they were like, oh, no, she didn't learn French history.
01:17:26.800But it's like, that's not as important as the curtsy and the speaking French.
01:17:30.680So I think she learned the two most important skills.
01:17:33.520The king was like, oh, you're cute as a button.
01:21:02.440And he is suddenly the Delphine of France.
01:21:06.360And everyone is just like, oh, no, because like of his of these siblings, of this sibling set, his youngest brother, Artois, is maybe the one who has the traits that people would most prefer in King.
01:21:21.520He is charming and affable and intellectual and like handsome.
01:21:31.660So his mother, to her great credit, is just like, let's crash course. Let's get this kid ready for this job. And she, like that one tutor, she figured out how best to approach educating this kid. So he was intelligent. He just needed a different sort of schooling. He was especially good at memorization. So she's like, okay, so let's try to find ways we can teach you and let your skill at memorization help you.
01:21:58.040he was really skilled in sciences. He loved geography. He loved history, especially English
01:22:03.180history, which is interesting. And that will come up later as well. So he learned in a really like
01:22:07.740fact memorization sort of way, like not with nuance. He didn't really, and in his life as
01:22:12.700well, he didn't see nuance in situations. He's just like, you either do this or you do this.
01:22:18.040And this is the right way to do it. And this is the wrong way to do it. And that's kind of how
01:22:21.040he approached everything, which is not how you're going to thrive in Versailles. So his mother
01:22:25.960encouraged him to keep a private diary. So he could write down kind of like things that happened
01:22:29.880and he could look back at his experiences and maybe learn from his experiences, which is not
01:22:33.920really how he used the diary, but he did keep it for the rest of his life. And he wrote not every
01:22:38.880day, but really just like one sentence every now and then. Usually what he would write were just
01:22:44.480the results of he went hunting and how did he do? Hunting was a hyper fixation of his, an interest
01:22:51.540of his which you know what in this era and time and place hunting was seen as like a thing that
01:22:57.340kings should do so this is a kingly thing that he actually was interested in so but mostly his
01:23:01.560diaries mostly just kind of like i shot two deer today or like nothing like famously on some days
01:23:07.400where a lot of stuff happened but he didn't shoot anything while hunting he just writes ria which
01:23:12.100means nothing so his mother who's trying to help him she died of tuberculosis when he was 12 years
01:23:18.920old. So this is like, she helped him up for one year and then she died. His diary entry at the
01:23:23.880day she died was death of my mother at eight in the evening. And then he got a new tutor who
01:23:28.060didn't understand the ways to teach him. The new tutor just made him like copy out like church or
01:23:35.760like Bible passages. And remember the tutor from the Hateration Nation, Madame du Berry branch,
01:23:42.540was just kind of being like, Austrians are evil. They are our enemies. You should hate the Austrians.0.81
01:23:47.920don't trust any Austrian woman, especially not your wife. And he's a guy without nuance. And he's1.00
01:23:52.920like, got it. Hate Austrians. I'll do that. That is how life works. And he also, he was handy.0.97
01:23:58.640So the way the Marians went out, like music and dancing, Barry really liked1.00
01:24:02.540carpentry and like locksmithing. He liked building locks and keys and like1.00
01:24:08.260woodworking. So he'd just go in his room and just do his woodworking when he wasn't outside,
01:24:12.460riding and shooting. So this is the guy. So when Maria Teresa was working so hard to be like,
01:24:19.400let's marry Marie Antoinette to the Dauphin of France, the people in Versailles were like,
01:24:22.900oh, thank God. Because we didn't... If this guy gets a wife, then we won't have to be in charge
01:24:29.540of him anymore. The wife can take over and be in charge of him and teach him manners. And maybe1.00
01:24:34.800this will help him mature in some vague way. It's not like... Marie Antoinette didn't know
01:24:39.380that she was being brought on to be his governess. But everyone in Versailles was like, great. If
01:24:44.920she comes, then he doesn't have to have a tutor anymore. None of us have to hang out with him.
01:24:49.640She can just be in charge of him now. Fantastic. He would now be her problem, not ours. Great.1.00
01:24:57.040So there's not a lot of secession planning in French royal court. The king is off playing golf.
01:25:03.940Nobody wants to train Barry. And one of the reasons why people don't want to train Barry
01:25:08.520to be a good king is because they thought, well, if he just seems like a bad king, maybe he can be
01:25:13.760supplanted and we can put Artois, the guy who we all think should be the king in his place. So let's
01:25:18.820just like not teach him how to be the king. Great. So this is who Marie Antoinette met. Like she and
01:25:24.300he were both just little sweet babies who all the bitches at court were secretly already plotting1.00
01:25:32.260against. He didn't say anything to her as they rode in the carriage together into Versailles,0.99
01:25:36.980having met for the first time in his diary that day. He wrote, I met Marie Antoinette today,
01:25:41.860basically. So on route, Marie Antoinette, they stopped to have like dinner with different people.
01:25:48.540So she met members of her new family, including the aunties, who were like, Oh my God, Marie
01:25:55.780Antoinette. So nice to meet you. You should trust us and we can be your new mentors and
01:25:59.700honorary mother figures. And she had never been tricked by anyone in her life. And she's like,
01:26:04.860fantastic that's great thank you so it's really like katie heron showing up at the beginning of0.99
01:26:09.980mean girls and just doesn't understand that people can be bitches she also met this guy
01:26:14.620who is um barry's cousin philip the duke d'orleans who is gonna be he's gonna be doing a lot in this0.96
01:26:22.220story so just remember that name um and i will just let you know that this guy the cousin philip
01:26:26.660also thinks maybe he should be king instead of barry so he's also actively working against marie
01:26:31.520Antoinette. She had dinner at, with a bunch of family members and Madame du Berry was there
01:26:37.360as well. And Marie Antoinette had not been told who that is. So like, she's whoever she's sitting
01:26:42.520next to probably the aunties. I don't know. We're just being, Oh, that's that guy. And that's that
01:26:46.340guy. And that's Philippe d'Orleans. And then Marie Antoinette was like, Oh, but her over there,
01:26:49.780that like beautiful person, like what is her role here at court? Um, Madame du Berry. And what her
01:26:56.300companion said was, oh, her role is to amuse the king, which is like innuendo. Marie Antoinette
01:27:02.600doesn't know about innuendo yet. She's just like, well, I shall be her rival because I too want to0.99
01:27:07.040amuse the king. So a little embarrassing for her, but she didn't know it was embarrassing anyway.
01:27:12.580But again, what all the haters were worried about, like she's beautiful. She's charming.
01:27:16.600She's so graceful. And everybody is just like people not from Hateration Nation are just like,
01:27:21.780oh, she's great, actually. Her mother, there was an ambassador on the scene called the Comte de
01:27:26.600Mercy. We're just going to call him Mercy. Mercy is what we're going to call him. And he was her
01:27:32.800mother's ambassador. And his job was to watch Marie Antoinette and report back to her mother
01:27:37.120what she was up to. But he also became sort of a surrogate father figure because he saw that she
01:27:41.400was in over her head and kind of wanted to help. So he wrote to Maria Teresa, no young woman could
01:27:46.060have made a better impression than Marie Antoinette. She killed it. She had all the right curtsies and
01:27:50.880everything. She had, um, a wedding and in-person wedding the next day at Versailles, she wore a
01:27:56.740diamond studded silver gown, um, and glided perfectly down the aisle. She remembered who
01:28:02.660to nod to and who to smile at and whatever. And it's just like, Oh, like she may not know French
01:28:07.340history, but she knows like etiquette and like good, good job. Then, um, you know, there's a
01:28:13.360ballet and opera performed a huge dinner. Marie Antoinette and Barry both were just kind of
01:28:17.980picking up their dishes. They were both nervous about what came next, which was the bedding
01:28:22.760ceremony. Um, and nobody had told either of them how to have sex or what it was.
01:28:27.640So everything that they did, everything we're interested in, I did for the rest of her life,
01:28:31.160a whole bunch of people were watching. So she was brought into this room where there's like
01:28:35.560a bunch of people they'd had dinner with, watched her get changed into her nightgown.
01:28:39.760Um, Barry was changed into like his nightgown and then they were put into a bed and everybody
01:28:43.360was standing around. Um, and then a priest like blessed the bed and then they closed curtains
01:28:48.380around the bed. And then finally all these people left. And then these two little like neurodivergent
01:28:52.860teen nerds fell asleep and did not consummate their marriage. The next morning, Barry woke up
01:28:59.200and was like, great. He's like, Versailles has a real schedule. Every day is the same as every
01:29:03.040other day. And that really was how Barry could thrive. He liked doing the same thing every day.
01:29:07.740So the next morning he's like, Oh, it's Tuesday. I guess I'm going to go hunting. So he just left.
01:29:11.320And then he went to his room and he was working on his woodworking.
01:29:14.700He did not go to join Marie Antoinette in bed that night or the next night.
01:29:18.380He didn't come to see her or talk to her at all.
01:29:20.480And everyone was just kind of like, what's happening?
01:29:22.300His advisors pressured him to finally go to speak to Marie Antoinette.
01:29:25.840So a few days after their marriage, he went to see her in her room.
01:37:14.040it took forever to be able to get Maria Antoinette0.98
01:37:16.020in private because she was always with the aunties
01:37:18.000But eventually, um, he was like, like, this is a mean trick. Like they, people can be mean sometimes. Now you know that. Um, and so Marie Antoinette like started wearing the corset again, but the damage hadn't been done. Like her reputation was now this like unwashed, sloppy, disrespectful foreigner. Like this was endangering the Austrian French alliance. Like it became like an international incident because the aunties, and they were also simultaneously doing another mean trick.
01:37:48.000that they hoped would like hopefully get her sent back to Vienna, but also they wanted to like
01:37:52.520damage, um, Madame du Barry's reputation. They wanted to give Madame du Barry having less power.
01:37:57.320They want Marie Antoinette having less power, although she had no power. Like the aunties
01:38:01.160just wanted to be the only women that their father listened to. Meanwhile, he's just playing golf.
01:38:06.300So they knew that their dad loved Madame du Barry. And so they knew that if Marie Antoinette was mean
01:38:13.500to Madame du Barry, that would make the king not like Marie Antoinette. And so they were taking
01:38:19.440advantage of the fact that Marie Antoinette was 14 and had been raised in like a very Catholic,
01:38:25.080pious, religious household. So even the concept that like the king had a mistress was like
01:38:30.160shocking to her. So they were like, do you know Madame du Barry used to work at Hooters? Like,
01:38:34.680do you know all the trashy things about her? And like Madame du Barry, we did an episode about her1.00
01:38:38.580last year you can find it um she like people who were not born into wealth she was really excited
01:38:46.220by like really flashy stuff like she loved to wear like lots of diamonds and like really like
01:38:54.140excessive like not in a bad way but just sort of like over the top like maximalist like her decor
01:39:00.620was really like trashy and i say that in the most appreciative way i love trashy decor but it wasn't0.99
01:39:06.860hard to make Marie Antoinette turn against Madame DuBerry because she was like this 14-year-old
01:39:11.040sheltered little girl who'd grown up in this place where everyone kind of dressed plain,1.00
01:39:14.540which is like, oh my God, yeah, Madame DuBerry is like a trashy, fugly slut. She is the worst.1.00
01:39:20.180And so she just refused to acknowledge Madame DuBerry, which became a huge incident0.88
01:39:24.160at Versailles because there's so many rules. And if the Dauphin didn't, like Madame DuBerry
01:39:29.780couldn't talk unless she was talked to first until Marie Antoinette acknowledged her.
01:39:34.420anyway it was a whole thing her mother was like writing her letters like Marie Antoinette like
01:39:39.460just say hi just say hi to Madame du Barry like the king like is not going to support you if you
01:39:44.900don't like his mistress and Marie Antoinette's like no no the aunties told me not to but eventually0.89
01:39:48.740she's like oh they're bitches okay then whatever so eventually what she did and this is a famous0.98
01:39:54.140sequence if you watch the Sofia Coppola Marie Antoinette movie like there's just like a hallway0.99
01:39:58.300full of people and Marie Antoinette kind of turns kind of towards Madame du Barry but not necessarily
01:40:02.720looking at her, but just the group of people she's in. And Marie Antoinette says, there are a lot of
01:40:07.360people at Versailles here today. And that counted. She had now acknowledged Madame DuBerry, like this
01:40:14.160crisis had ended. And she was just like, you know, she got there at first. She's like, I'm supposed
01:40:20.560to be like, my mother told me, like, I'm the luckiest to film my sisters. This is the most
01:40:24.240luxurious, like every princess in all of Europe wishes she was me. But this place sucks. Like1.00
01:40:30.860every second of every day, like Versailles was open kind of like a museum. Like anybody could
01:40:37.380go there as long as you like wore a tie sort of thing. Like people were constantly walking around
01:40:42.700Versailles in a way that sounds bananas to us these days. But it's like, imagine if you could
01:40:47.720go to like where like Prince William and Kate Middleton live and just go into their house and
01:40:53.240just like watch them having tea and then watch them doing a crossword puzzle and then watch
01:40:57.000them checking their emails and then watch them changing their clothes. Like anyone could go
01:41:00.800Versailles and just watch the royal family do anything that was the vibe so Marie Antoinette
01:41:05.860just like gets up and there's like a crowd of people there and she gets dressed and then she
01:41:11.140had to dress in the Versailles way and part of that was like she had to put on her makeup sort
01:41:15.080of like how Chapel Rowan sometimes is like white covering her face even though her skin was like
01:41:19.940fresh and like peaches and cream complexion and she's 14 glowing like great skincare regime and0.98
01:41:25.680she had to put blush on her cheeks in like two circles like to make herself look almost like a
01:41:29.640marionette doll and then put on these outfits and then it's just kind of like now you're going here
01:41:33.780and now you're going here and now you have lunch and like there's an audience of people watching
01:41:37.120you and now you go to church and there's an audience of people watching you and she's just
01:41:39.880like if you remember she was like a kid growing up just like having fun with her sisters like
01:41:45.460tobogganing snowball fights like tricking her governesses having picnics like she just likes1.00
01:41:50.980a simple life and she's living this like extremely restrictive thing and everybody's bitches as she's1.00
01:41:56.500just realizing and like no one, no one is a friend and she's doing her best to try to win0.99
01:42:01.260the Dauphin to her side and he's gotten used to her, but he's still not kind to her. He's still
01:42:05.780not there for her. Like nobody is there supporting her. So by now two years have passed and she's
01:42:12.540getting frustrated, understandably with Barry because they still have not had sex. So she still
01:42:18.520was sort of like not officially his wife and she could, she knew by now, like he wasn't going to0.66
01:42:24.400take a mistress because he doesn't know what sex is um she knew that he like she's probably can stay
01:42:30.760there because he's used to her and it was like how could any other woman come between them but
01:42:35.740she felt like i'm not the true dauphine and she had been like lovingly gently kindly like soft
01:42:43.200parenting her husband to try and get him to sort of like just obey the versailles rules and kind
01:42:48.740of like do what people expected of him but he just couldn't or wouldn't and eventually she started
01:42:54.220like yelling, like they got into arguments and he would like run away from her and then she would
01:42:58.500cry. And it's just like, things are shitty. And she's just like, you know what I'm going to do0.74
01:43:02.740is just like, get the King on my side because then these bitches can't mess with me. So he liked to1.00
01:43:09.140hunt, which I call playing golf, but he liked to hunt. So she's like, great. I'm going to learn
01:43:15.020how to ride a horse. Cause her mother hadn't let her learn how to ride a horse because Maria Teresa0.93
01:43:18.600was always like, no, that's dangerous for like reproduction reasons. And Maria Antoinette is1.00
01:43:22.120like, well, I'm not pregnant and can't be. So I'm going to learn how to ride a horse.
01:43:25.720So first she learned how to ride a donkey. And then she graduated riding a horse and she became
01:43:30.660passionate about it. She turns out there's a little horse girl inside of her all along.
01:43:35.460And honestly, this is like the only exercise she can get. At least when she's riding a horse,
01:43:39.120there's not bitches trying to ruin her life. So she would go, she would join him for the hunt,1.00
01:43:44.780but she'd also just ride horses around like the paddock for fun. Like she was just like,
01:43:48.780I have found a new hyper fixation and this is fantastic. And she, maybe this is interesting.
01:43:57.160So this is from the Caroline Weber biography, queen of fashion who hypothesizes. So Marie
01:44:02.820Antoinette, like she's writing. And so you need to wear your like riding clothes and what riding
01:44:06.620clothes were like at this time. Remember she likes a costume. We know that from when she was a little0.88
01:44:09.820girl. So it's kind of like a red jacket and it's a masculine jacket, but cut like a woman. So if1.00
01:44:16.080you think about like when you see like a hollywood star wearing a tuxedo but it's like a form-fitting0.97
01:44:20.760tuxedo so she would get like this jacket that's sort of masculine adjacent and what women would0.99
01:44:26.420often do is they wear their big like these jackets with a big skirt but then they wear like trousers1.00
01:44:31.140or like pants inside the skirt like silk or woolen breeches so for like modesty reasons because they
01:44:37.140would be riding side saddle you sit sideways on a horse but if they fell off they'd have the pants
01:44:42.440on. So like for their modesty, Marie Antoinette was like, well, what if I ride a stride like
01:44:47.660legs spread? And what if I wear the pants and not a skirt on top? So she started wearing0.74
01:44:52.220pants. And for long time listeners to this podcast, I'm always excited about a pants
01:44:57.760on moment. Marie Antoinette is just like, here's what I'm going to do, wear pants.
01:45:02.540And this is a time and a place where how you dressed meant who you are. So not just like
01:45:07.880as the Dauphine, she had to wear these dresses that no one else could wear. She had to wear
01:45:11.560this corset um but also like if you wear a dress you're a woman if you wear pants you're a man1.00
01:45:16.640that's just how society functioned like we'll get later into people like the chevalier day on who0.88
01:45:22.160um challenged gender norms but so marie antoinette is like challenging gender norms1.00
01:45:27.040actually the first um the first french royal woman to wear the trousers inside the skirt0.98
01:45:32.900was actually catherine de medici um a few hundred years earlier so she was just like
01:45:38.520And Marie Antoinette is effectively, in this time and place, cross-dressing.
01:55:25.700Fall in love with our core cast or be awed by our incredible guests from familiar shows like Oxventure, Three Black Halflings, and No Rolls Barred.
01:55:40.760Ignite your imagination and discover the realms of peril and glory today.
01:55:46.000Go to RealmsPod.com or search Realms of Peril and Glory wherever you listen to podcasts.
01:55:55.700you've watched them from the outside your whole life on tv on stage on the cover the success that
01:56:03.540always looks like it happened to someone on a different planet but what if it didn't i'm evelyn
01:56:09.380and i've spent over 25 years in entertainment producing for some of the biggest names in
01:56:13.900hollywood and here's what i learned the distance between you and them it's a lot shorter than
01:56:19.320anyone's letting on on my podcast reppin i sit down with the people you've been watching and i
01:56:25.120ask them who they actually are, not the brand, the person, where they started, what it costs them,
01:56:32.080what almost broke them, their grit, their courage, their resilience, and the lessons they've learned.
01:56:38.400It's all yours for the taking. Reppin, wherever you listen.
01:56:44.400For eight years, we've been asking the same question over and over again. How did this
01:56:50.340happen? My name's Mandy. And I'm Melissa, and we're the hosts of Moms and Mysteries,
01:56:54.780the true crime podcast with over 55 million downloads.
01:56:58.460We're two Florida moms who are obsessed with mysteries.
01:57:01.200Each week, we do deep dives into fascinating true crime stories.
01:57:04.800We cover everything from infamous cases like Casey Anthony
01:57:07.880to the bizarre and complex crimes right here in our home state,
01:57:11.720like the shocking murder of FSU professor Dan Markell.
01:57:14.700We bring you the facts, but with warmth and width,
01:57:17.040you'd only get from two friends who have been hooked on mysteries since childhood.
01:57:20.600Join us for new episodes of Moms and Mysteries every Tuesday and Thursday.
01:57:23.740Listen to Moms and Mysteries on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.