Vulgar History - Mary, Queen of Scots： Part Two： A Progress North

00:00:00.000 Hello, and welcome to Vulgar History, a feminist women's history comedy podcast. I'm your 1.00

00:00:16.460 host, Anne Foster. And this is part two of sort of a, this whole season is called There's

00:00:22.780 Something About Mary, Queen of Scots, but we're telling the story of Mary, Queen of

00:00:26.460 Scots. And this is the second part of that. So it's kind of a mini series within a series.

00:00:33.140 There are so many people in the story. When I've been researching the various books I'm about to

00:00:37.820 tell you, what books I've been looking at, every time a new person comes on, inevitably a man,

00:00:42.440 I'm just like, okay, like I can't imagine he's going to be important as well. So I just kind

00:00:46.280 of like read ahead and then it's like retroactively, I'm like, oh, he is important.

00:00:50.680 Then I have to go back in and like learn who he is so I can introduce him to you when he

00:00:55.240 joins the story it's just this is a there's an ensemble cast in this story and so last time we

00:01:00.780 were talking about mary queen of scots was born in scotland she became queen of scots aged six days

00:01:06.460 when her father died and then she went to france and then i thought it was interesting that what

00:01:13.140 the television show rain spent i believe 62 episodes telling over three seasons of television

00:01:20.040 programming i covered last time in what like an hour and a half just kind of mary in france and

00:01:26.020 i do think i'm gonna bring up rain throughout this whole series within a series because that's

00:01:31.280 where i first became interested in mary queen of scott's story i think that that's part of what

00:01:35.060 was so smart about that show and what made it such a good premise for a show because when mary comes

00:01:40.100 back to scotland the stuff that she did she was busy as freaking a seat it's harder to to insert

00:01:46.600 more, I don't know, wacky plot lines and hijinks around how busy she was when she was literally 0.98

00:01:52.120 in Scotland ruling. But in France, that's a time period, that's a period of like numerous years,

00:01:58.760 like 13 years or something, where not a lot was written about what she did because no one was

00:02:04.300 paying so much attention to her at that point, really. So Rain was able to just invent lots of

00:02:09.980 different things to have happened to her. Anyway, it was really good. It was a great premise for

00:02:13.240 show. And I think it's notable that when they got to season four of Rain, which is when she

00:02:17.720 comes to Scotland, they really put that off as long as they could for the reasons I was just

00:02:21.480 explaining. Like when she gets to Scotland, well, first of all, the whole cast of characters is

00:02:24.920 going to change. But also there's a lot less wiggle room to invent plot lines for her to get

00:02:29.480 involved in. Anyway, so I'm going to tell this episode, assuming you've heard part one already,

00:02:34.980 but also assuming it's maybe been a week since you heard part one. So when we introduce people,

00:02:39.840 I'll re-remind you who they are. I'll re-remind you what names we're giving them. Because everybody

00:02:44.180 in the story increasingly is called James, Charles, and Janet, and George. And for my own

00:02:52.060 sense of whimsy, honestly, it's so I can tell them apart. But hopefully it'll help you to tell

00:02:57.020 them all apart. I've given people a whimsical nickname, often a thing that they were actually

00:03:02.220 called at the time, sometimes just a name I made up, just so we can tell all these people apart

00:03:06.840 who all, they all have the same surname too. Everyone's a steward. Anyway, this is part two,

00:03:13.980 Mary Queen of Scots, part two here on the Vulgar History Podcast. Again, she was in France. She went

00:03:19.780 there to marry the heir to the throne. Then the king died. So her husband became the king. So she

00:03:25.160 was the queen of France. But then that husband died, making her both a teen widow, the dowager 0.77

00:03:32.160 or queen of France, I guess. But also, so the king who died, her husband, Francis, as they said

00:03:39.040 on the television show Reign, he had several younger siblings, including his younger brother,

00:03:42.780 Charles, who's going to be the new king. And so Mary and her uncles, the Diggy's uncles,

00:03:47.720 who were like so ambitious, were like, well, what if we do like a King Henry VIII slash Arthur

00:03:52.140 situation and just like marry her to the younger sibling? But Catherine de' Medici, who was the

00:03:59.540 mother of the French kings, she, no, she, like the Degesis had had so much power and control when

00:04:07.060 Mary was married to Francis. And she was just like, no, like if she lets Charles, the new French king,

00:04:12.800 the new French boy king, if she lets him marry Mary, then the Degesis are going to get power 0.54

00:04:17.400 again. And she didn't want that. So that was just never, truly never an option. And Mary was just 0.99

00:04:22.940 kind of like, what am I going to do? And she stayed in France for a while, just trying to figure out

00:04:28.180 what she was going to do and kind of no one knew what to do with her either I think it we get to

00:04:36.180 this but it's something like a year between Francis dying and Mary actually going to Scotland so I

00:04:42.420 think like she was in mourning for a while 40 days or something wandering around looking like a ship

00:04:47.720 sail but then eventually she just had to figure what to do and it was like is she gonna go just

00:04:53.080 like live out the rest of her days you know as dowager queen of France but queen of Scotland 0.75

00:04:57.180 but in France? Is she going to go like to a nunnery? Like, what's the plan? And various 1.00

00:05:03.000 people came to her with various plans. And eventually the one that she decided to do

00:05:06.420 was her older half-brother, whose name is James Stewart. And as we call him on the show,

00:05:12.260 Hollywood icon, Jimmy Stewart, came to her. He was in Paris. Remember, he was there for her

00:05:17.520 wedding. He had gone there to go to university. He got radicalized by the Huguenots, the Protestants

00:05:24.280 there and he was like listen i'm kind of in charge in scotland right now like yes i know like this is

00:05:30.560 him talking not me hollywood icon jimmy stewart was like whoa mary anyway he had been part of the 0.92

00:05:36.640 group of the asshole lords protestants in scotland who had run her mother who had usurped power from 0.99

00:05:43.380 her mother they became the council of the 24 assholes and hollywood icon jimmy stewart had 0.99

00:05:47.260 been part of that but he was like like what if we bring over mary and like she'll be like quote 0.90

00:05:52.200 unquote the queen but like he Hollywood icon Jimmy Stewart can sort of be in control of things and

00:05:57.120 she was just like like she had to do something and she's like well let's do Scotland like have

00:06:03.380 to do something unless she's gone so she got her uncles the diggies uncles this is like one of the

00:06:08.760 last things they're gonna do although they were all over the last episode when she gets to Scotland 0.72

00:06:12.720 they kind of fuck off and forget about her so they helped her arrange her like transport from France

00:06:18.100 to Scotland. There were fears that the English might try to intercept and kidnap her. And this 1.00

00:06:23.760 is recurring. There's a lot of people constantly planning to kidnap this person. So why would the

00:06:31.280 English want to do that? Well, because she's a threat. Because the Catholics, there were Catholic 0.68

00:06:37.340 people in England and in Scotland who felt that Mary should be the Queen of England instead of

00:06:42.020 Elizabeth. And maybe people who support Elizabeth would kidnap her to stop her from doing that. Or

00:06:47.100 Maybe people who wanted her to be queen would kidnap her to make her be queen of England.

00:06:50.880 Regardless, her uncle spread false rumors about where she was going, like what her itinerary

00:06:56.020 was going to be, where she was going to land.

00:06:58.080 And for the record, the English didn't capture her, but an English fleet did follow close

00:07:03.280 behind just to like see where she was going and what she was up to.

00:07:06.600 So she rode on, there was like two galleys, which are like big ships, along with like

00:07:11.320 some smaller transport ships of like her belongings, which are like, she's a queen.

00:07:15.860 she's incredibly wealthy she gets sort of an allowance as the dowager queen of france and 0.60

00:07:20.420 she's moving like if you imagine the contents of a renaissance castle from france to scotland so

00:07:25.740 there's there's a lot of ships so her galley that she was riding on on there with her were

00:07:30.720 in a return appearance and they're going to be here for basically the story the four marys who

00:07:36.200 were her four best friends who were all the daughters of important noble scottish families

00:07:41.740 whose names were all Mary. There's a rumor I heard that she made them change the names to Mary so

00:07:46.280 they would have the same name as her, but they were all actually called Mary. Anyway, glad to

00:07:51.360 have them back in the story. So there they're on the ship with her as well. Also along for the ride

00:07:56.060 were other members of what I'm just going to call her entourage. She has various French servants and 0.94

00:08:02.920 courtly people who she's bringing with her from France to Scotland. This included two French

00:08:07.080 poets, both named Pierre, one of whom we're going to talk about later, one of the Pierre's.

00:08:14.800 Some drama happens around him. Anyway, so the other galley carried the rest of her staff.

00:08:20.040 Her staff included these people who are on her payroll, which included people like a surgeon,

00:08:24.360 two medical men, an apothecary, a tailor, an upholsterer, which is maybe the same thing as a

00:08:29.780 embroiderer. I know she had her own personal embroiderer. We're going to talk a lot about 0.98

00:08:33.460 her embroideries, because there's a lot to say. A painter, a lute player, ushers, a confessor,

00:08:40.580 so like a priest, a chaplain, a barber, which I guess would be, I don't know if that cuts,

00:08:45.220 I don't think, I don't know if she was getting haircuts, but like the men around her getting

00:08:48.600 haircuts and their beards trimmed and stuff, I guess. A stocking maker and her fool. She had a 0.99

00:08:55.200 lady, actually she had two lady fools. I'm going to talk about them in a bit. So these are all 0.99

00:08:59.140 French people. She was just coming in with a bunch of French immigrants, I guess. And then,

00:09:05.620 as I said, there's all these other smaller ships with all of her luggage. So she was bringing over

00:09:09.840 furniture, gowns, paintings, works of art, bed linens, tapestries. She traveled with these huge,

00:09:18.380 beautiful, like wall-sized tapestries. And like when she moved when she was in Scotland and she'd

00:09:23.700 go from one castle to another on a trip, she would often bring the tapestries with her just to sort of

00:09:28.460 honestly she brought the tapestries and when we talk about it when she gets to the castle

00:09:31.700 she calls they're described as like Turkish rugs as well like these she's moving into this kind of

00:09:36.600 like cold stone buildings and she's just like let's just make it cozy in here she's doing like

00:09:40.900 a Bobby Burke just like really making it feel more like home she also brought over 100 horses 1.00

00:09:47.560 and mules so I did want to mention about her fashion so she brought over like a lot of gowns 0.84

00:09:55.700 and they were colorful, and they were beautiful. But she, in this period of time, she only ever 0.95

00:10:02.000 wore black. The son was black and white. And this is a statement of her mourning for her husband,

00:10:08.280 Francis. And that's interesting, because if you recall, when he died, there was a whole thing

00:10:12.320 about Catherine de' Medici and her daughters all wore black, which is the color for Italian royal

00:10:17.060 mourning, but the Mary notably wore white, the color for French royal mourning. But also,

00:10:21.800 she wears black and it's maybe to just kind of fit in a bit better. Like she knew she was a 0.84

00:10:26.240 Catholic queen going into a Protestant country. And so if she was just wearing all these flashy

00:10:31.200 colors all the time, maybe she wanted to be taken seriously as a queen and we'll see how that goes.

00:10:36.200 But anyway, so she was always wearing black and she was always giving, um, like giving gifts,

00:10:41.380 clearly her love language. Like she was always giving gifts to her friends and to people who

00:10:45.400 she wanted to support, or she hoped they would be her allies. And so she ended up passing along

00:10:49.960 most of these colorful dresses to her close female friends and associates eventually and also speaking

00:10:55.220 of the 100 horses so they were impounded I guess is the word like they were caught up by the um

00:11:03.040 what's it called when you're going from one place to another immigration or whatever they're caught

00:11:07.800 at the border the horses were kept impounded for a month by the English because of paperwork issues

00:11:14.580 which honestly just sounds familiar to me just in terms of like when you're flying places that

00:11:19.100 the horses didn't have visas or whatever. But lest you think, even this moment of just like

00:11:24.640 her on a ship leaving France would be straightforward and wouldn't involve death.

00:11:29.060 Guess what? So she's on her like giant galley. And just at the mouth of the harbor, like where 0.92

00:11:34.880 the harbor goes out into the ocean, a fishing boat was rammed into by another ship. And she

00:11:40.000 saw this happen because she was standing like on the deck of her galley. And so the fishing boat

00:11:45.480 sank or it's just started to sink all the crew on board started to sink mary was like oh my god

00:11:50.000 because she's like very generous she's very like helpful she she was witnessing this tragedy so

00:11:55.960 she was like oh my god can we help them she asked she begged the captain of her galley to save these

00:11:59.980 drowning sailors but the other boat uh the boat dragged all the men down with it and they all

00:12:04.780 drowned before anyone could go there and help and so she was like what does this mean as like uh

00:12:11.340 an omen for me leaving france to go to scotland feels like maybe not a good one and people who

00:12:18.500 saw her do this they wrote about it they talked about when she what her actions were like what

00:12:23.060 she looked like and remember she's 18 years old so she remained on on the deck like at the rail

00:12:27.520 leaning over it and you see in some of the movies about her and some of the paintings of her they

00:12:31.560 have this like iconic moment her leaning on the rail i believe in rain they show this and she just

00:12:35.560 kind of like bid adieu to france she said something like i probably won't ever see you again

00:12:40.260 and then like night fell and she was too melancholy to go into her room where she just

00:12:45.880 really thought the fresh air would be helpful to her so she's like I just want to sleep like up

00:12:49.460 here like on the deck so she got her servants to bring her bed up onto the deck and then with her

00:12:55.320 bedding and then she slept in the open air that night so usually the trip the commute from France

00:13:02.980 to Scotland took something like a week like seven days but they just had favorable winds so that's

00:13:08.440 a good omen. And they arrived there in five days, which was practically a record. The people in

00:13:14.700 Scotland hadn't expected her to arrive yet because there wasn't, you know, like Morse code machines.

00:13:19.960 No one could call ahead to be like, oh, actually, we're coming faster. So no one knew. So just

00:13:23.580 arrived kind of randomly. It was an unusually damp and depressing morning. A cold sea mist

00:13:29.580 cloaked the shore as they arrived, which was another spooky omen. And the ships anchored at

00:13:34.320 the entrance to the harbor. And I just remembered, I forgot to tell you all my sources. And because

00:13:38.140 I am quoting from a whole bunch of books I want to make sure that all these authors get their

00:13:42.620 shout outs because this is a story when I went in to do these episodes I was like oh Mary Queen of

00:13:47.420 Scots I've written about this like I know the story like I'll just like refresh my memory but

00:13:50.760 especially this earlier part I did not know so much of this stuff and I learned a lot from books

00:13:55.780 including Embroidering Her Truth, Mary Queen of Scots, and the Language of Power by Claire Hunter,

00:14:01.340 Daughters of the North, Jean Gordon, and Mary Queen of Scots by Jennifer Morag Henderson,

00:14:05.580 Mary Queen of Scots, The True Life of Mary Stewart by John Guy, and Homecoming, The Scottish Years

00:14:10.380 of Mary Queen of Scots by Rosemary Goring, as well as I verified numerous names on Wikipedia just to

00:14:16.160 be like, which James Hamilton is this? Because everyone has the same names. Anyway, I will link

00:14:19.960 to all those books in the show notes. They're all really honestly so helpful. And as we get into the

00:14:23.980 later episodes, there's going to be those books continue to be helpful as well as other books.

00:14:29.140 Oh, I also refer to the book, The Mary Was Here, Mary Queen of Scots, and Where She Went, the book

00:14:33.900 that's put up by the Historic Scotland Society or whatever that just talks about all the castles

00:14:39.220 where she went. So she's just arrived. The weather is foggy, misty, ominous. But anyway, she knew her

00:14:47.820 job and she knew what she needed to do. And that was to be the queen and to win everybody over to

00:14:52.360 her side. So she came out big smiles, you know, just like a celebrity on a red carpet. And she 0.91

00:14:57.920 had enormous personal magnetism and charisma and a lot of what happens in this story just bear that 0.83

00:15:04.600 in mind like the way that she's able to win people over to her side or also alternately the way that

00:15:09.360 some people just can't stand her it just she has like a really she's just got a real charisma

00:15:14.800 about it and when she was out among the public she was always so like friendly and kind and

00:15:21.140 i don't know whatever like if she was a celebrity today she'd be like signing autographs taking

00:15:24.920 selfies like she knew that it was important for the regular everyday people to love her and guess

00:15:29.760 what they did but yeah again there was like no great crowd there to greet her or officials like

00:15:34.400 just kind of showed up and everyone's like oh what she's here so they kind of her like companions or

00:15:40.500 whatever they're like let's just go have like lunch and try to figure this out so they just

00:15:45.940 sort of went over to a rich person's house while the like actual dignitaries like very quickly

00:15:52.820 rode their own horseback from well firstly people had to go to the edinburgh i guess to be like oh 0.71

00:15:58.020 my god she's here and then they have to return from edinburgh to get to where she was so she

00:16:01.500 was in a place called leith is where they were which is like not far from edinburgh but far

00:16:06.960 enough anyway so by the time they were done eating this meal some people had made it to greet her

00:16:12.260 including the person who had partially convinced her to come here and do this her half brother

00:16:17.320 hollywood icon jimmy stewart and i don't think i mentioned this before in the previous episode and

00:16:22.320 This is what's happening is I'm recording these in order, but I'm also researching the next one

00:16:28.780 while I'm recording this one. And so when I find something out later that pertains to a previous

00:16:32.680 episode, you know, I have to let you know. So I don't think I mentioned this last time because

00:16:36.660 I didn't know when I recorded last time. So her mother, Marie DeGee, sort of warned her not to

00:16:41.720 trust Hollywood icon Jimmy Stewart, probably because Hollywood icon Jimmy Stewart had been 0.88

00:16:47.040 like one of the leaders of the rebel asshole lords who like usurped her anyway but mary was like 0.98

00:16:53.100 everyone seems to be an asshole i have to choose one of them to side with this guy's my half 0.98

00:16:56.900 brother and he seems powerful so let's go with him also arriving there were two people i believe 0.99

00:17:01.440 i mentioned last time both called james hamilton a father and son duo because the dad was the earl

00:17:06.780 of aaron we call him aaron and the son is going to be aaron jr so they're both there they're the

00:17:13.040 guys their families the hamiltons who like traditionally were often the regents of when

00:17:17.920 there was because there was like five boy kings in a row or something in scotland so they're like

00:17:21.660 congenitally related to the royal family at this point i think um the earl of aren is like next in

00:17:27.600 line to be scottish king anyway yeah so all these guys are on the protestant side mary of course

00:17:33.760 is catholic but she's coming in here like she's not just showing up with no plans like she knows

00:17:38.520 what she wants to have happen, not unlike Mary's portrayal in the television show Reign, is to let 0.57

00:17:44.940 the Protestants keep being Protestant and the Catholics keep being Catholic and not try to

00:17:49.500 force religion one way or the other. And this is crucial because, well, firstly, Scotland was only

00:17:56.200 just like the Protestant Reformation had like just started while she was in France. So it was still

00:18:03.040 kind of like not quite cemented. It was like it felt sort of precarious, like it could switch over

00:18:08.220 to being Catholic but she was like don't worry like everyone can keep their own same religion

00:18:12.240 but you know things have been happening like not so long ago Mary the first had been the queen

00:18:20.020 in England and she took over as a Catholic queen with a Protestant king before her and she became

00:18:26.700 known for how she would like burn lots of Protestants and she was known as Bloody Mary and

00:18:32.400 that's like Mary Queen of Scots's cousin basically also called Mary also Catholic so I was just kind

00:18:37.820 like what are you gonna do and she's like don't worry like i might be a red-headed person related

00:18:41.980 to that other person also called mary also catholic queen but she's like but i'm chill so don't worry

00:18:46.960 about it anyway because her horses at this point were still an impound they borrowed horses to

00:18:51.980 process up to the royal palaces at holly holly rood for a reception and so it was noted that

00:18:58.580 when she arrived mary and the marys like they were all dressing like to match like they were

00:19:04.480 they dress to impress but they also coordinated like a bride and her bridesmaids at a wedding

00:19:10.160 where it's just going i'm mary and these are the mary's and they look great together or you know

00:19:14.260 like when you see blackpink or bts where it's just kind of like they're a group but they also match

00:19:19.500 and their thing was they wore black and white mary cream scott's just to recap as well was like

00:19:25.540 like literally i think six feet tall tall for a woman now tall for a woman then everybody mentioned 0.99

00:19:32.580 how she had this like peaches and cream, like really pale skin, which was the beauty standard 1.00

00:19:36.620 of the era. And she also had striking long auburn hair. So just like red hair, pale skin. She knew 0.63

00:19:43.080 she looked good in black and white, which is why she wore those colors a lot. But anyway,

00:19:46.020 she and the Mary showed up and it's just like, Ooh, like this is French. Like this is chic.

00:19:50.760 Like the people in Scotland were just like, okay, okay. Again, to bring it back to rain,

00:19:55.400 that's a bit of what that show was doing. People talk about the costumes a lot on that show to be

00:20:00.220 like that's not accurate and it's like yeah they weren't trying to be what they're trying to do

00:20:03.800 like what they dressed Adelaide Kane who played Marion that show in was a lot of like couture

00:20:09.040 gowns like high fashion because to a modern day audience you wanted to impress upon the fact that

00:20:15.720 like Mary and the Marys like they were fashion forward they were trailblazers they were they

00:20:21.160 were wearing couture gowns of their era to our modern eyes when you see people wearing kind of

00:20:26.620 like oldie time clothes it's like oh those are oldie time clothes and someone could be like oh

00:20:29.920 that's a fine dress and we're like okay guess that one's nicer than the other one but we don't know

00:20:33.980 but when you're watching a show and inherently you can just when they look like an elegant expensive

00:20:39.140 dress that you would see today then you can translate that and anyway so they're just coming

00:20:44.780 and having a fashion moment and celebrations began to celebrate her return so there was this

00:20:52.860 is in edinburgh there was bonfires there was music people were just rejoicing like people

00:20:58.360 were excited to have her back like they were just like this is great we have this new like the queen

00:21:02.440 is here she's beautiful she's glamorous like any occasion to party when she wanted to go to like 1.00

00:21:07.940 when it's time for her to go to bed at the palace several hundred goofballs congregated under her 0.97

00:21:12.580 window playing fiddles and other string instruments apparently singing out of tune and just being like

00:21:17.620 just having a nice time so it's like she arrives and like everyone's excited asterisks not everyone

00:21:22.700 but the like everyday subjects of her kingdom were excited she was back and yeah so she's

00:21:31.700 staying at hollyrood house which is a palace you can still visit it's apparently the most

00:21:36.880 magnificent of the scottish royal palaces so after she'd been there a while she decided

00:21:42.680 like okay let's like redo the entry into edinburgh but maybe you know not on borrowed horses and like

00:21:49.320 with people knowing to expect me. So then they had like a grand procession entry. And I think

00:21:55.320 it's having just had the new, the coronation of Charles III in England, like, which was,

00:22:02.540 no, we're talking about here, but a very old fashioned sort of thing. But if you think about

00:22:08.040 the scale of that, just like the carriage going through the streets, the amount of people that

00:22:11.740 they're cheering, like to that level of excitement when she had her re-entry. So there were pageants

00:22:18.660 and performances, you know, masks, which were like, kind of like plays. And some of these were

00:22:27.040 written, or the asshole lords that either paid somebody to write them or they wrote them themselves 0.99

00:22:32.320 by some other asshole playwright that had a lot of like, oh, being Protestant is important. And we 0.99

00:22:37.500 like being Protestant and Catholics are kind of terrible. So there's like some like not so subtle 1.00

00:22:41.780 messaging in these performances. That being said, some of the people not excited about her being

00:22:47.040 there boycotted this whole situation, including Aaron Jr. and senior, as well as goddamn John 0.94

00:22:54.520 Knox. So I think you know, I'm not a fan of John Knox. I hate how much he's in the story. And I 0.97

00:23:02.040 hate that I have to talk about him. But I do because he is regrettably incredibly important

00:23:08.500 in this story. And he just makes me so mad when I'm reading the books to researchers every time

00:23:13.900 he shows up, like I literally like not intentionally, I just like shake my head. I'm

00:23:17.160 just like, no, no. Like when I need to confirm facts about him and I look him up on a search

00:23:21.780 engine, I'm just like, and I like close the tab. Anyway, so who's this guy? So he was the main

00:23:28.100 driving force behind the Scottish Reformation in the sense of he was a very persuasive speech

00:23:36.220 maker. He could get people really riled up. He had really firmly held beliefs that he

00:23:43.500 wanted to force everybody else to have those same beliefs which were inspired by calvinism which is

00:23:50.820 uh the kind of protestantism that he learned when he was in geneva for some reason in terms of this

00:23:56.140 story like this is this is the vulgar history podcast this isn't like the history of the 0.99

00:23:59.900 reformation podcast so here's what you need to know he's a fucking nightmare person i personally 0.99

00:24:06.760 am offended by his existence. And he's also incredibly popular, but like in an incel way, 0.97

00:24:15.140 like everybody came to all of his sermons. He was the main minister at the main church in Edinburgh,

00:24:21.780 which is like a paid position. Everybody came every week. It was like, they're all listening

00:24:25.940 to like Jordan Peterson on the Joe Rogan podcast. Like they were just like his personal magnetism,

00:24:32.860 I guess, was part of why he was as successful as he was. He also was a writer. He had written a

00:24:39.020 book slash pamphlet, which was called The First Blast of the Trumpet Against the Monstrous Regiment

00:24:44.460 of Women, which was, I'm not going to read it, but what I've read about it is that he had just

00:24:49.860 written this like a couple of years before. And it was basically saying women should not be in

00:24:54.940 charge of anything. Women should not be rulers. And if they are, then good Christians should 1.00

00:25:00.240 murder them because women shouldn't be in charge of anything. And he wrote this at the same period 0.99

00:25:05.660 of time when Mary Queen of Scots's mother, Marie de Guise, was still regent. So that was kind of

00:25:09.860 like he was criticizing her. He didn't like having a woman in charge, but it was also at the same

00:25:14.000 time as when Mary I was in charge in England and she was like burning all the Protestants. So like 1.00

00:25:19.320 I can see why a Protestant minister would be like not a fan of Mary I, but he really turned this 0.73

00:25:26.180 into a real personal crusade about just like he hated women. He hated Catholics. The worst thing 0.97

00:25:32.660 you could be to him was a Catholic woman. Yeah. And he was inciting the revolution that all good 1.00

00:25:39.460 Christians, by which he meant men, because I think he wanted women to stay home and like have babies, 0.92

00:25:44.620 like all good Christians should depose women leaders was kind of his deal. But anyway, 0.95

00:25:49.740 the everyday people of Edinburgh, as much as they might like listen to his podcast, they're just

00:25:53.560 like we love this party we love our glamorous new queen this is great and that was like mary

00:25:58.480 knew this and that's part of why she really made sure to to always be good and so that she would 0.93

00:26:04.560 always have the public on her side like this was like politically very advantageous to her but also

00:26:08.680 she was just like a people pleaser she liked people to like her and yeah so these like calvinist 0.64

00:26:14.220 inspired assholes dominated privy council or like the town council but it was like such a small 0.71

00:26:21.260 amount of people actually in relation to the overall population of Scotland, like not to get 0.97

00:26:27.040 into like the Highlands, which we'll get to. But anyway, so her first Sunday at Holyrood,

00:26:32.680 she went to hear Catholic mass in her private chapel, which was kind of like a compromise that

00:26:37.320 she had reached where she was like, listen, I accept that this is like a Protestant country now.

00:26:40.880 That's fine. But like, I'm Catholic. I was raised Catholic. I'm not going to change my religion.

00:26:45.400 So I'm just going to like keep going to Catholic services myself. And her brother,

00:26:50.160 Hollywood icon James Stewart was like, sure, that's great. But of course, some John Knox

00:26:55.260 fanboys came to heckle her as she like was walking over to her private chapel. They were shouting for

00:27:00.860 the priest to be killed. But to his credit, also very Hanley, Hollywood icon Jimmy Stewart stood

00:27:07.280 at the door of the chapel to protect Mary, which was kind of making her feel like, okay, you know

00:27:11.480 what? Like I backed the right guy. Like my half brother is helping me out, at least in this

00:27:15.380 instance. But also he was out there. So when the guys were trying to break in, he could be like,

00:27:19.760 hey don't do that but then wink at them to be like like yet you know anyway john knox hated

00:27:25.160 catholics and he said to him the celebration of one catholic mass was worse than if 10 000

00:27:30.760 catholics advanced an army to try to change the country's religion so he's a man who speaks in

00:27:37.640 extremes like simmer down john knox after this mary she's just like no this is what i want to do 0.88

00:27:43.980 and so she issued a proclamation so everyone knew that she wanted to do this the protestants and

00:27:48.060 Catholics, like, let's just be cool with each other. And also please nobody harass her servants

00:27:54.360 or any member of her retinue for any reason at all, which is, I like that. This is like,

00:27:59.820 could not be a more vague and like kind statement, but Aron Jr. protested this. He was like,

00:28:07.940 anyone who attends Catholic mass is basically committing crime that is more, it's worse than 0.94

00:28:13.260 murder. Like, don't do it. Nobody do it. So Mary was like, okay, can I talk to this John Knox guy?

00:28:19.440 She was just like, first of all, the queen. Second of all, like she had been raised to be very

00:28:25.520 privileged. People cared what she had to say. To some extent, she knew that she had this personal

00:28:31.900 charisma and power and she could like charm most men. But also she had been raised in France,

00:28:37.320 which was a place where the monarch had not like basically absolute power so people didn't fuck 0.98

00:28:44.200 with the monarch so she's like okay bring John Knox to me like I'll get him to stop being an 0.99

00:28:48.540 asshole like this is within literal days of her arriving in Scotland she was just like gotta nip 0.99

00:28:53.120 this in the bud um with him like inciting people to murder me so she brought along Hollywood icon 0.99

00:29:00.460 Jimmy Stewart to be in the meeting with her both as a witness but also to be like look like I'm

00:29:04.200 cool with protestants let's stop inciting violence against me but like right away like as soon as he

00:29:09.900 came in the room practically john nox just like launched into like an impromptu sermon just like

00:29:14.160 mansplaining to her about why women shouldn't be rulers and how women rulers were terrible

00:29:20.200 and she was like but like i'm the queen so like what and he's like oh no i don't mean you i just

00:29:26.460 mean like mary the first who is like burning protestants in england and she's like but you

00:29:31.340 said, like, what, what, what are you trying to tell me? It's like, stop mansplaining. And he's

00:29:36.180 like, well, you know, I'm cool to like live in a country where you're the monarch because even

00:29:40.320 St. Paul in the Bible had to live under the rule of Emperor Nero, who was evil and a terrible

00:29:46.560 sinner. And Mary was like, are you just comparing me to Emperor Nero, bro? Like the son of Agrippina

00:29:52.420 from the previous Bulgar history podcast. Anyway, Mary was stunned by his like wild debate style

00:29:58.560 in the way that he didn't give a fuck and didn't treat her with respect. Ultimately, they were just 0.98

00:30:04.240 like, okay, you can go now. And then she wept. She burst on crying in anger and frustration, which

00:30:10.000 we're going to see a lot. She's a crier, nothing against that, comma. And the sorts of men who

00:30:17.060 don't think that women should be in charge of anything in any leadership position would use 0.93

00:30:22.220 that to be like, look, she's a weak woman, where it's like, no, she's just a crier. Some people 1.00

00:30:25.900 just are. Anyway, but she didn't cry until after he left. John Knox hadn't seen her cry. And actually,

00:30:30.380 later, he was like, she's actually pretty good at debating me for a woman, which, okay. Anyway,

00:30:36.720 so a bit more about John Knox. I can't talk about him for too long. It makes me too angry. But here's

00:30:40.760 just some facts about this, unfortunately, main character in this story. So at this point,

00:30:45.980 Mary Queen of Scots was 18. He was 47 years old. He had been ordained as a priest. And then he

00:30:52.560 worked as kind of like a bodyguard for George Wishart, who was the guy from last time who had

00:30:57.680 been murdered by David Beaton. And then the assholes who had killed David Beaton, then they 0.99

00:31:06.480 like hold up in a castle, kind of like holding a hostage to be like, make the country Protestant or 1.00

00:31:10.640 else. And then the French captured them all. So they were there doing that. John Knox, I forget 0.54

00:31:15.200 what I said last time about exactly, but he wasn't one of the people who like killed David Beaton. 0.73

00:31:19.980 But when he heard that these guys were holding this castle hostage for Protestantism, he's like, gotta go. 0.62

00:31:25.020 Oh, I think at this point he was working as a lawyer and he just like fucked off his law practice, like abandoned all of his clients. 0.91

00:31:30.120 He was like, I have to go be with these revolutionaries. 0.76

00:31:32.560 This is like a January 6th moment for me.

00:31:35.640 And so he went and he like served as a chaplain for these guys, but eventually they were arrested and he had to go work in a French prison galley, Jean Valjean vibes.

00:31:43.440 Then he went to Geneva, discovered Calvinism, which made him even more of a nightmare.

00:31:49.980 And then he like officially devoted his life to screaming at everybody that they should convert 0.68

00:31:54.400 as well. Prior to this, he had been in England as well. And that's where he had married his

00:31:59.560 first wife, whose name is Marjorie, but she had since died. And he was known to consort a lot with

00:32:07.860 the sex workers of Edinburgh. So the fact that he's just being all like, oh, women suck and I 1.00

00:32:12.760 hate them. And they should all like not be horny and like stay home and mind children, except for 1.00

00:32:18.560 the like sex workers who I pay to fuck. So he's just like the worst. Anyway, so three weeks after 1.00

00:32:25.320 arriving, Mary Queen of Scots appointed her own, her first inaugural Privy Council, and it showed

00:32:31.080 her intent to make Catholics and Protestants hand in hand working together to just like balance

00:32:36.040 everything out and avoid civil war. She appointed her brother, Hollywood icon Jimmy Stewart, as her

00:32:41.060 chief advisor, which kind of provided continuity from the past few years where he had kind of been

00:32:45.420 in charge. And also because at this point she was just like, I need to dress someone and I choose

00:32:49.900 him. And he also was like very much encouraging her in this direction of like, choose a middle

00:32:54.820 path. Like don't go like full Catholic, but don't go full Protestant, but just like hope that

00:32:59.260 everyone will kind of play it cool, but also like try to not exacerbate things with England and

00:33:04.040 Scotland. He's just like that song from West Side Story. He's just like, play a cool Mary

00:33:07.460 and try and hopefully avoid no wars. So they were very much on the same page at this point.

00:33:13.960 So of the people who comprised the Privy Council, there's 12 men.

00:33:17.000 And seven of them were Protestants, including Hollywood, Eckman, James Stewart, as well as

00:33:20.600 Aron Senior, and then another guy, his name is William Maitland, who had been her mother's

00:33:26.660 secretary of state, but then he was in the group that like usurped her power, but he

00:33:32.580 like had some skills that she needed.

00:33:34.260 He is aka the Scottish Machiavelli, is how people of his time referred to him in Scots.

00:33:41.120 They called him Michael Willey, which I think is just the Scots way of saying Machiavelli.

00:33:47.000 Not sure.

00:33:47.840 Anyway, he continues to be on, but just as a case study, like the fact that this guy,

00:33:53.580 Scottish Machiavelli, had worked alongside Marie de Guise for years and then decided

00:33:58.940 to switch and not back her anymore.

00:34:01.840 But now he like is backing her daughter.

00:34:04.360 We're going to see a lot of people doing this.

00:34:06.340 There's a lot of switching back and forth teams.

00:34:08.340 The only people who are true to their actual religious beliefs and their own side of things are maybe John Knox. He does not waver from being on the side of whoever's the biggest asshole. And Mary herself. Everyone else is just switching sides. And this is where I needed to give everybody whimsical names. Because otherwise, I'm like, wait, that guy, why is he there now? I'm like, oh, he's on that side now? And then the next page is like, no, he's on that side. 1.00

00:34:35.960 People just keep switching to the point I assumed it was a bunch of different people.

00:34:39.000 No, it's just the same people switching.

00:34:41.240 And so Maitland was sent to go to London to negotiate regarding the Treaty of Edinburgh,

00:34:46.580 which I believe I spoke about last time.

00:34:48.580 But it's this document that I believe Hollywood Eck and Jimmy Stewart negotiated with Elizabeth's team, 0.54

00:34:54.660 but Mary refused to sign it because it was an incredibly shitty deal for her.

00:34:58.840 It was a document that said something along the lines of like, if Mary dies, then it was bad.

00:35:04.540 I don't remember exactly what it was.

00:35:05.580 I don't want to say it off the top of my head because I'll get it wrong. But anyway, it was

00:35:08.500 just a shitty thing that was good for England and good for Protestants, but not good for Mary herself. 0.88

00:35:13.440 Because at this point, or at that point, Holly Rock and Jimmy Stewart was kind of on side with 0.86

00:35:18.680 England in the sense of like, they were a Protestant country and Scotland was kind of a

00:35:22.740 Protestant country. And he's like, let's just kind of like work for our own best interests for now.

00:35:28.000 And so Maitland's job, Scottish Machiavelli, was to go to convince Elizabeth that if she 0.71

00:35:33.380 acknowledged Mary's claim to the English throne, Mary would ratify this shitty treaty. That did 0.91

00:35:38.620 not happen. Elizabeth did not buy that. She did not agree to that. Another person on the council

00:35:43.820 was a guy who is going to come up again in the future. His name is Lord Ruthven, which it's a

00:35:50.460 cool name to me. I don't know if in Scotland, if that's just like a common last name, a lot of

00:35:54.020 people have, but Lord Ruthven was rumored to be a warlock and or necromancer. And he was actively

00:36:01.740 dying of cancer, but that doesn't stop him from being a main character in the story for a while

00:36:07.100 as well. And then of the Catholics, who were chosen for the Privy Council, one of them was a guy,

00:36:12.480 his name was George Gordon, aka 4th Earl of Huntley, aka Cock O'The North. And I need to

00:36:21.260 tell you about this man. First of all, to his great credit, so he was Catholic, but he was like

00:36:28.020 willing to make it seem like he was maybe going to compromise. So here, so sometimes when he was

00:36:33.980 down to Edinburgh, he would condescend to attend some of John Knox's sermons. So he would go into

00:36:39.600 the like incel podcast studio with the other thousands of incels. So he would go, but like

00:36:45.700 he wasn't enjoying himself. And what he would do is he would show his irritation with a preacher by

00:36:49.220 pulling his bonnet down over his eyes, picking at his nails and muttering, when these knaves have

00:36:54.900 railed their fill, then they will hold their peace. So he's basically just being like,

00:36:59.020 I'm just let these assholes get it out of their system. But the vibe of like pulling the bonnet 1.00

00:37:03.680 over your eyes, like anyone who's ever been in a meeting or honestly a church service that you

00:37:08.580 find really boring, like that's the vibe, just this like bonnet over the eyes. So you might be

00:37:15.240 able to tell. I like this guy. So George Gordon, Earl of Huntley, Cock O the North was the most

00:37:22.520 powerful Catholic man in Scotland. So he's from the house of Huntley, which controlled much of 0.81

00:37:27.460 the Northeast, but their power base extended further around the highlands and the far north.

00:37:32.300 And we talked last time, I think, about the highlands versus the lowlands and how there's

00:37:36.540 this like, again, it's another thing where it's just like, let's just try to like all play cool

00:37:39.960 and not have a civil war sort of vibe. So Cock of the North had accompanied Mary's mother,

00:37:44.880 Marie de Guise, when she had visited France that time, when she visited Mary in France. 0.97

00:37:50.440 And after having spent that time in France, 1.00

00:37:52.740 Cock of the North came back 0.83

00:37:53.760 and he was just inspired by the French architecture

00:37:56.580 and like tapestries to decorate his castle,

00:37:59.100 Huntley Castle, in this like French style,

00:38:01.500 which really stood out

00:38:02.400 because the castle's in the middle of rural Aberdeenshire.

00:38:05.760 In fact, Marie de Guise had stayed there once

00:38:08.020 when she was on a Progress

00:38:08.860 and she was impressed with what he'd done with the place.

00:38:11.080 So he's like a guy with a good eye

00:38:12.660 for like interior design and that sort of thing. 1.00

00:38:15.060 And he was the Cock of the North 0.81

00:38:16.840 because why was he so powerful? 0.88

00:38:19.120 He had a personal charisma around him, but also just like his family connections, like his inherited role. People just relied on him. Like if he called supporters, like he could get a large number of followers and supporters from the surrounding countryside. He was the chief of a vast swath of territory in the North and Northeast. He was also Lord Lieutenant of the North and had been or would be Sheriff of Inverness, Sheriff of Aberdeen, Privy Counselor. He was just named that.

00:38:45.820 Lieutenant of the Borders, Provost of Aberdeen, and recipient of the French Order of Saint-Michel.

00:38:51.380 And now we're just going to take a break for a word from our sponsors.

00:38:55.720 The war is over and both sides lost.

00:38:59.980 Kingdoms were reduced to cinders and armies scattered like bones in the dust.

00:39:04.980 Now the survivors claw to what's left of a broken world, praying the darkness chooses someone else tonight.

00:39:12.460 but in the shadow dark the darkness always wins this is old school adventuring at its most cruel

00:39:20.400 your torch ticks down in real time and when that flame dies something else rises to finish the job

00:39:26.480 this is a brutal rules light nightmare with a story that emerges organically based on the

00:39:32.460 decisions that the characters make this is what it felt like to play rpgs in the 80s and man

00:39:37.160 it is so good to be back join the glass cannon podcast as we plunge into the shadow dark

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00:39:43.900 on youtube.com slash the glass cannon

00:39:46.200 with the podcast version dropping the next day.

00:39:49.580 See what everybody's talking about

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00:42:21.680 And we're back.

00:42:23.200 So not just the most powerful man in the north of Scotland, but also the most powerful Catholic nobleman in the country.

00:42:29.140 and his family the Huntleys were also vaguely related to the Scottish royal family in the way

00:42:34.200 that it seems like everybody is because of all these illegitimate children from all these men

00:42:38.540 called King James. So Cock of the North's oldest son was called Alexander and he was married to

00:42:43.740 the daughter of Arun and then later his other son George was married to Arun's other daughter.

00:42:50.780 So just because of all these connections Mary wanted him on the council because he was powerful

00:42:54.860 connected, and also Catholic. Like she wanted the most powerful Catholic to be on her team.

00:43:00.100 The English called him King of the North and sometimes Parer of the English. So a little trip.

00:43:07.280 Mary went on a trip to Crichton Castle to attend the wedding of her half-brother, not Hollywood

00:43:13.420 icon Jimmy Stewart, a different half-brother. She had numerous half-siblings. So Crichton Castle,

00:43:19.320 oh, and also this was a match that she had match-made. One of her hobbies was match-making

00:43:23.280 for other people. So the wedding was being held at Creighton Castle because that was the bride's 0.75

00:43:28.580 home base. She was called Janet Hepburn. My cat's name is Hepburn. Her first name is not Janet.

00:43:36.020 Anyway, Janet Hepburn, no relation to my cat, but I know of, but definite relation to the Earl of

00:43:41.300 Hepburn, who we discussed before. So to recap, Janet's dad was Patrick Hepburn, who was the guy

00:43:47.960 who had tried to win the hand of Marie de Guise to the extent that he, I believe, divorced his

00:43:54.800 wife, even though Marie de Guise hadn't said she would marry him. And in fact, she did not.

00:44:00.940 And then he died, Patrick. His son is James Bothwell. We're going to call him Bothwell

00:44:06.200 because everyone's called James. So Janet's brother was Bothwell, a military guy who Marie

00:44:11.700 de Guise had trusted to deliver a message to Mary that one time in episode one. I believe I talked

00:44:16.460 about this anyway mary's just like happy to attend a wedding so she could just let loose and dance 1.00

00:44:20.980 remember her favorite activity and one of her biggest talents was dancing and so as she would 1.00

00:44:26.200 prove to be um she was very generous um she would often pay for the bride's dresses when women who 1.00

00:44:32.140 she match made were getting married she'd buy them expensive gifts but no she was still wearing her 0.98

00:44:36.780 just black ensembles she's still in mourning and wanting to like kind of fit in and kind of look

00:44:43.140 like business professional but because it's getting into the colder winter months at this

00:44:47.580 point so she'd wear like black but like black velvet and she'd have fancy headwear, sparkly

00:44:52.700 earrings, rings and necklaces so like she's all in black but it's like makeup fashion so which is

00:44:58.660 not the kind of black that someone like John Knox would wear which is like I don't know his whole

00:45:03.460 thing is just like plain everything should be plain decorations are a sign of the devil or

00:45:08.340 whatever. Mary also, even though, and I respect this, she's six feet tall and she also liked to 0.87

00:45:13.360 wear high heels. She was a heels girl, pointy toe shoes were on trend. So she stepped out wearing 1.00

00:45:18.240 these pointy toe high heeled shoes, letting loose on the dance floor, not unlike in the early season

00:45:24.060 of rain. In the season one, episode one of rain, we see her dancing. Like she and the Marys liked

00:45:29.840 a dance party. There were fireworks at this wedding celebration because that was a big thing

00:45:33.920 in Scotland at the time. And in fact, Mary's father and her grandfather had been big fans

00:45:38.060 of fireworks. Later on when her like personal library was inventoried, there was a book there

00:45:43.280 called The Art of Fire Postscript. A few weeks after this wedding, Bothwell, the brother of the

00:45:49.920 bride, had got into it. He like instigated a fight with Aran Jr. I need to mention that Aran Jr.

00:45:56.160 is constantly described as being mentally unwell, unstable, just kind of like, that's who he is. No

00:46:04.160 one's like, oh, is he going to like scheme and do a lot of stuff? It's more just kind of like,

00:46:07.680 he's unpredictable. Anyway, so Bothwell instigated a fight with Aran Jr. And in the fallout,

00:46:13.480 Aran Jr. So like they got in a fight and then Aran Jr. would then later make claims against him.

00:46:21.300 He said that Bothwell had been planning at this wedding to kidnap the queen, to kill her chief

00:46:25.540 ministers and incarcerate her in another castle. But he said that like Bothwell was planning this

00:46:30.520 with him, Aran Jr. So both of the men were thrown in prison for treason, for allegedly maybe trying

00:46:35.700 to kidnap the queen. And this is interesting. Put a pin in this for later because at the time,

00:46:41.120 people just thought, oh, these are just the ravings of an insane person. Like, of course,

00:46:44.640 Bothwell wasn't doing that. But put a pin in that. Anyway, so they're both thrown in prison

00:46:49.520 for treason. Bothwell escaped because this is a story in which no one ever stays in jail ever.

00:46:55.860 He fled abroad to Norway. And we'll hear about that, how that turned out in a later episode.

00:47:01.520 R.N. Jr. was jailed for four years and then he went into house arrest and he just was like

00:47:06.220 basically bedridden with his various things he had going on. So anyway, Mary, she liked to travel

00:47:13.800 around. And this was also Hollywood icon Jimmy Stewart encouraged her to do this. And I think

00:47:17.140 it was a good idea to travel around the country to see it and to meet more of her subjects so

00:47:22.380 they could see her and they would be more likely to be loyal to her. And this was in fact effective.

00:47:26.860 so during one of these progresses she went to sterling which is the fortress-esque castle where

00:47:32.360 she lived as a little baby and one night while she was there a candle on a table beside her pillow

00:47:37.200 set her bed curtains on fire in the middle of the night while she was asleep smoke filled the room

00:47:42.380 and this is in an era before smoke detectors and she was lucky to escape before she was suffocated

00:47:47.240 and my notes here are just like this is like i feel like the writers of rain saw this and were

00:47:53.200 like, we're going to invent a character called Clarissa who lives under Mary's bed and both

00:47:58.180 seems to be trying to kill her and also seems to be trying to save her. So this incident had big

00:48:03.260 Clarissa vibes. That means nothing if you haven't watched Rain, but if you have, I was, my notes

00:48:07.720 just say Clarissa. Anyway, so she's in Starling and then she went to see mass in the same, in the

00:48:15.960 chapel, like every castle has its own chapel. And she was like, remember there's the deal. She's

00:48:19.520 like, everyone can be Protestant, but I am going to stay Catholic and I'm still going to go to

00:48:23.940 Catholic masses. And so she went to the chapel at Sterling. And this is the same chapel where

00:48:28.540 as a little six day old baby, or I guess she was a couple months at that point, the place where

00:48:32.180 she'd been crowned baby queen so many years ago. But then Hollywood Eck and Jimmy Stewart showed

00:48:36.400 up and he forced her chaplains to leave. But why? And he was like, oh, because loophole. He's like,

00:48:43.300 I said that you could have Catholic mass at Holyrood, but you can't have Catholic mass

00:48:49.120 anywhere else, only at that one place, which is just like, not what he meant and not the

00:48:55.360 intent of what he meant, but like, literally the words of what he had said. So he was doing this

00:49:00.220 mostly just so that the asshole Protestants would still support him, but it's a pretty 1.00

00:49:06.040 shitty thing to do to his sister. So then Mary on her progress next went to Perth, 1.00

00:49:10.600 and she was confronted by Protestants who yelled at her and things. And she suddenly felt sick and

00:49:16.540 had to go indoors to recover. No kidding. And then eventually she went back home to Holyrood.

00:49:22.900 So December 5th, 1561 is the first anniversary of Francis's death, her first husband. And so she

00:49:29.340 was like, okay, I'm going to remember my dead husband, who I truly loved, who I grew up with.

00:49:33.520 And so she put the palace into mourning for two days. She ordered all kinds of black fabric,

00:49:38.340 like black velvet, you know, black velvet to be used in special masses to be sung in her private 0.89

00:49:44.080 chapel. She wore white, a change from usual black, but the special services she was holding like the

00:49:51.120 memory masses for Francis were not attended by very many people, except for the most loyal of

00:49:56.640 her servants, because most of her household were afraid if they attended Catholic services, they

00:50:01.480 would be beaten up by gangs of Protestants. And they were probably right. The asshole lords, 1.00

00:50:05.440 of course, did not attend. And she had asked them like, well, can you just wear morning clothes for 0.99

00:50:10.040 the day? They also did not do that because they were assholes. Christmas is approaching, it's 1.00

00:50:15.540 December. And so she threw parties like this is, she's just like, it's a young, vibrant group of

00:50:22.320 people. And she's just like, let's just have fun like they do in France. Somebody recorded that her

00:50:27.340 parties, what they wrote was, the ladies here be merry, leaping and dancing, lusty and fair. 0.99

00:50:32.580 and so throwing the parties but also she's doing like the bobby burke from queer eye just like 0.95

00:50:38.020 really upgrading the palaces to a state of splendor when all of her stuff arrived from 0.93

00:50:43.640 the ships like she's got the rug she's got a hundred tapestries were unpacked 36 turkish

00:50:48.900 carpets she sat on a gilded throne which was high-backed and upholstered with crimson velvet

00:50:54.080 and cloth of gold low stools were set out for the marys and folding stools for important visitors

00:50:59.020 all covered in velvet. So just like an elegant, fancy situation. And she had this vast wardrobe

00:51:04.920 I talked about, but so she was wearing black all the time, comma, except at the parties where she 1.00

00:51:10.860 would wear her colorful, cute outfits when she's like off duty queen. She also loved costumes, 0.99

00:51:17.100 disguises. Because she was six feet tall, she, if she dressed in a men's clothes, she could 0.58

00:51:22.840 maybe be mistaken for a man. And that is what she did. Sometimes she and the Marys would run 1.00

00:51:27.220 incognito or as they thought through the streets of edinburgh they would put on men's clothes

00:51:32.200 pants and just like go hang around and just be like hello fellow men and just have a nice time

00:51:39.400 sometimes they'd also put on disguises to dress as like peasants um to go shopping at the market

00:51:44.740 pretending they were like normal people and at a mask at a banquet in honor of the french ambassador

00:51:52.280 at one point. Mary and the Marys appeared dressed in their men's outfits, which made everybody go

00:51:57.560 like, oh, Herman, my pills. I can't entirely wrap my head around the Protestant and Catholic 0.99

00:52:04.620 of it all, but the Protestants were like, no one should dress fancy. No one should do anything 1.00

00:52:10.220 other than pray all the time. And I don't know, something about showing up in pants was just

00:52:15.980 especially shocking to them for some reason. So yeah, I mentioned before she had two female 1.00

00:52:22.200 fools or court jesters whose names are janet mouche and nicola la jardiniere and the role of 1.00

00:52:27.640 these two was to provide irreverent commentary on contemporary political events and personalities 0.96

00:52:31.880 they were cherished members of the household i love i love that she had two lady two female 1.00

00:52:37.340 fools it was like her version of like the daily show or whatever just kind of like making her laugh 1.00

00:52:41.620 she also mary was a very athletic person so she liked regular exercise so not unlike empress cc 0.98

00:52:48.780 she would ride a horse every day, sometimes alone for up to three hours. She also liked

00:52:53.980 going hunting a lot, maybe because it's a sport you could do while being on a horse.

00:52:58.380 She also liked hawking. She took to it actually right away, apparently in hawking, or falconry,

00:53:05.800 I think it's called, where you have the falcon and it lands on your arm. She was very good at that.

00:53:12.180 She also enjoyed archery, anything to do with horses. And when it was cold or rainy,

00:53:17.740 or just late at night she would stay in and play chess cards or billiards often staying up late

00:53:22.220 gambling like she in terms of work-life balance i think she nails it here like she just when it's 0.94

00:53:27.500 time to party like she just parties when it's time to work she will work like she i admire that but

00:53:33.040 of course john knox hated fun okay so he complained that she kept herself very serious when she was in

00:53:39.260 the presence of her advisors but then when the marys came around or there's a party then she

00:53:44.300 would like let loose and have a good time. And I don't know if he found that that was like,

00:53:47.960 meant she was inconstant or something, but like, guess what? People can have different

00:53:52.200 vibes in different situations. He also didn't like her outfits because clothes were subject 0.93

00:53:58.260 to moral judgment in his world slash that of the Protestant Reformation. Luxury fabric was looked

00:54:03.560 upon by him as a sign of vanity. They wanted these unadorned outfits as a sign of respect for God.

00:54:10.280 So anyway, Mary, like again, every time there's a man in the story, I was like,

00:54:14.980 he can't be important later, can he? Oh, goddammit, he is. So just another name to add to this whole

00:54:19.540 situation. So a guy called George Buchanan is on the scene. He's like an old man. And he's a poet.

00:54:25.040 He'd also just returned to Scotland. He had been banished like 20 years before because of his

00:54:31.140 political cartoons. That happened to somebody else in the Hortons Mancini episode. It was his

00:54:37.020 friend her old man friend he had been like kicked out of france for like political cartoons or

00:54:42.760 something anyway george buchanan so he had gone to paris that's where he'd been for 20 years and

00:54:47.380 while in paris he met hollywood icon jimmy stewart who had been there for university and they hit it

00:54:52.100 off to the point that buchanan was like hmm hollywood icon jimmy stewart should be the king

00:54:56.700 of scotland not mary they were both potestans i should mention so it's likely the influence of

00:55:01.800 Hollywood icon Jimmy Stewart, who got Buchanan the gig as Mary's instructor, which seemed to be

00:55:07.960 more of like, I don't know if he like assigned her reading or whatever, but she was a young

00:55:12.020 person. She was 18. But he also became sort of like the poet, the court poet. He would write

00:55:16.280 the plays that were performed at the mask parties. And so like with Alice Spencer and that whole

00:55:21.760 family, like Mary and the Marys would star in these performances as goddesses and nymphs,

00:55:27.260 which again, they did on the show, right? So yeah, he was recognized as her official court poet.

00:55:31.800 and then a thing happened where twelfth night which are the like after christmas revels that

00:55:39.200 you do they were celebrating by doing the tradition of queen of the bean which is a

00:55:44.080 tradition in which a bean was baked into a cake and whoever found the bean was queen for the day

00:55:48.900 that was an episode of rain and the person who got the bean was called penelope and she usurped

00:55:54.300 this was in france she usurped catherine de medici and then got the king of france into like

00:56:00.260 a sub dom relationship rain is a great show like no floss perfect show in this situation what the

00:56:06.420 person who got the bean was one of the four marys it was mary fleming and in this situation what

00:56:10.920 mary fleming did was she just acted as queen for the day and mary queen of scots acted as her like

00:56:14.760 servant and we know that they like she and her friends like disguises and play acting so i'm

00:56:18.840 sure they had a really nice time yeah so she because she liked dancing and parties she kept

00:56:23.560 minstrels and musicians on her payroll she had a consort of five viol and i'm not sure if a viol 0.93

00:56:28.980 as a violin or viola. Players and three lute players. Some of her valets sang and played

00:56:34.340 the lute too. She also liked wind instruments. She had several pipers and an oboe player,

00:56:39.920 later adding trumpets, fiefs, drums, and tabors. Her domestic staff formed a choir,

00:56:45.120 which sang at her evening functions. And I just like this detail as well. She invented a new kind

00:56:49.500 of party, which was an equestrian mask, which is a way that she could ride a horse while also

00:56:54.360 wearing a costume and acting in a play, which is just the most Mary Cramp Scots thing I can

00:56:58.740 imagine. And I'm sure this guy Buchanan was just like, you want me to write you what? A play where

00:57:04.560 you're being who? Meanwhile, so England. So on the scene, the English ambassador is a guy named

00:57:11.880 Randolph. Messy bitch, loves her drama. We love this in an ambassador because that means he writes 1.00

00:57:16.940 lots of bitchy gossipy things, which people put into books that I then read. So she was like, 1.00

00:57:22.840 Randolph, can you help me get in touch with Elizabeth in England? Because although I'm

00:57:26.880 saying Mary has the party. She's got the Marys with her. She's got her half-brother. She's very 1.00

00:57:31.480 lonely, actually. Nobody gets her completely. When she was in France, she hung out. Francis

00:57:38.720 was the king, and then the other women, there were the princesses. They were sort of on her 0.98

00:57:43.020 same level. But here, no one, as much as I love the Marys, they didn't get it. They didn't know

00:57:48.160 what it was like to be her. And who Mary saw as the only person who maybe could be her soulmate

00:57:53.520 in that way was Queen Elizabeth, who is the Queen of England right now. But she also knew

00:58:00.060 that like John Knox and the others would probably respect her, Mary, more if and when she was able

00:58:05.980 to get Elizabeth to say, Mary Queen of Scots is my official heir to the throne. So she really

00:58:10.860 wanted to get Elizabeth to name her heir to the throne of England. And because Mary Queen of

00:58:15.800 Scots was so friendly and outgoing and charming, she figured that she could maybe use her charm

00:58:22.020 to like figure out a way that she could meet elizabeth and just figure this out face to face

00:58:25.660 speaking of elizabeth at this time so elizabeth had become the queen of england when she was 25

00:58:31.220 so she's like 10 years ish older than mary so she's been queen for a bit in england by now

00:58:36.460 elizabeth had not yet gotten married again i'm telling this story trying to not put too much of

00:58:43.820 like what i know is going to happen into it but there were rumors at this time that elizabeth

00:58:47.620 might get married because the person she'd been hanging around a lot with was a man whose name

00:58:52.500 was Robert Dudley, who we're going to call Bobby Duds. And so the thing about this is that Bobby

00:58:59.260 Duds was already married. He had a wife whose name was Amy. But then what do you know? One day,

00:59:04.920 Amy was found dead at the bottom of a strangely short flight of stairs. And it seemed like she

00:59:09.440 had been maybe murdered or maybe she tripped and fell or maybe she killed herself. No one knew what

00:59:15.360 it happened but it just like looked bad for bobby duds because like option one is like did he murder

00:59:21.300 his wife so he could marry elizabeth like in which case elizabeth could marry a wife murderer

00:59:25.660 but then it's like did elizabeth arrange the murder so she could marry bobby duds in which case

00:59:29.920 again like then she's a murderer like the whole truly nobody knows to this day it's a famous

00:59:35.080 unsolved murder so just so when we get into this thing about john nox being like oh we women leaders

00:59:40.400 are too lusty and scandalous except for elizabeth she's an exception because she's protestant

00:59:45.140 it's like, there's two queens in the story. And one of them is like an 18 year old widow who likes 1.00

00:59:50.580 to have dance parties. And one of them is like a 30 year old woman who maybe got her lover to kill 1.00

00:59:56.260 his wife. And John Knox is like, one is good as one is bad. And it's like, fuck you, John Knox.

01:00:02.800 Anyway, so Mary and Elizabeth started being pen pals. So she wrote to her being like, you know, 1.00

01:00:07.760 what about making me your heir? And Elizabeth was like, I don't know, because like, especially

01:00:12.740 she's not going to put anything in writing, but Elizabeth's whole thing, and this is part of where

01:00:16.060 she was really successful, is she never committed to things unless she like was going to. So anyway,

01:00:20.960 Mary really wanted to push this to a face-to-face meeting. And the thing is, Elizabeth also was like, 0.60

01:00:25.480 maybe Mary should be my heir because we talked about this in the Lady Jane Grey season, but who

01:00:31.500 is going to be Elizabeth's heir? Like the fact that Elizabeth was on the throne was really due

01:00:35.200 to a lack of any other options. So at this point, Elizabeth's heirs were the Grey sisters. So that's

01:00:42.220 Catherine and Mary Grey, the younger sisters of Lady Jane Grey. And Elizabeth didn't want them 0.74

01:00:47.660 to be queen because they weren't royal, you know, whereas Mary Queen of Scots was royal. 0.98

01:00:54.160 But also Catherine Grey had defied Elizabeth's wishes. She had secretly gotten married without 0.81

01:00:58.780 permission and was currently in jail where she got pregnant again because she was in jail with 0.98

01:01:02.500 her husband twice. Elizabeth's main guy, her main advisor was William Cecil, and he preferred the

01:01:09.820 Grey Sisters as heirs. But Elizabeth did actually at this point prefer Mary because Mary was a queen

01:01:15.360 with zero scandal around her. And although she was Catholic, she was claiming to be cool with

01:01:20.860 Protestants. So like maybe this could work at this point. But William Cecil knew like because 0.99

01:01:26.140 he had spies everywhere and he was in contact with a bunch of people in Scotland. And he knew

01:01:30.560 that Mary was very personally persuasive, charismatic, magnetic. He knew if these two

01:01:34.380 women met, Mary may be able to persuade Elizabeth to name her heir. William Cecil did not want that

01:01:40.020 to happen. So he got to work just like cock blocking this meeting. Meanwhile, Mary, like 0.84

01:01:45.820 lots of people wanted to marry Mary. We're going to talk about a lot of them in the next episode,

01:01:49.760 but she was rejecting them all. She joked she would have no one but Elizabeth. She sent a 0.98

01:01:55.060 picture of herself to Elizabeth, which is mostly just a way because she wanted Elizabeth to send

01:01:58.840 picture of her. She just wants to know what Elizabeth looked like. But then her uncles,

01:02:03.980 the de Guises back in France, fucked this all up. So her uncle, the Duke of Guise. I think this is

01:02:09.720 her uncle, Francis, aka Frank, was just like going through a village where some Huguenot Protestants

01:02:15.200 were worshiping in a barn. And then his men fired muskets at them, killing 23 and wounding 100.

01:02:22.120 And what this showed was that to people like William Cecil, I mean, it seemed like the de

01:02:27.360 Guy's family were on a religious crusade to kill all Protestants, and they might come across the

01:02:32.340 English Channel and do that in Scotland and or England as well. And there, of course, Mary's 0.98

01:02:37.040 family. So she knew that this hurt her cause for everything, for religious tolerance, like to

01:02:42.540 be cool with Elizabeth. So she spoke to the English ambassador, Randolph, to try to distance

01:02:47.240 herself from her uncle's actions, being like, that's them, they're fucked up, I'm not like that. 0.96

01:02:51.700 But this just made William Cecil even more determined that these two queens couldn't meet, 1.00

01:02:55.740 but Elizabeth was like, fuck you. Yes, we will. So Elizabeth planned a meeting between them in 1.00

01:03:00.520 York. Mary wrote, I honor her in my heart and love her as my dear and natural sister. Like

01:03:06.120 she was so excited. They're going to meet. But then nine days later, Elizabeth changed her mind

01:03:11.220 because of kind of the ripple effects of this whole Mary's uncle massacre situation. So she

01:03:17.980 canceled on her. Mary was so upset. She took to her bed and refused to move or to speak to anyone.

01:03:23.100 And I mean, her uncles did kind of cause wars of religion in France. And that's the first of the wars of religion in France. And England intervened there, like they were supporting the Huguenots against the De Guise faction. It just basically meant that like Mary and Elizabeth could not meet each other just because of like political stuff.

01:03:46.560 And Mary was just really caught in the middle of this like French situation.

01:03:49.240 If she declared her support for the Diggy's family, then that would be putting her in

01:03:54.160 opposition to Elizabeth and maybe a war would happen.

01:03:58.300 But if she started with Elizabeth, she would be accused of betraying her family and her

01:04:01.460 religion.

01:04:01.840 So she's just like, what am I going to do? 0.61

01:04:04.100 Since she couldn't go hang out with her cousin, Elizabeth, Mary was like, well, I had these

01:04:08.680 weeks booked off, so I should be able to take another trip.

01:04:10.760 so she at her the suggestion the Pollywood icon Jimmy Stewart she took a royal progress

01:04:16.560 to northeastern Scotland to see more of the country and show herself to the subjects up there

01:04:21.140 and you know that she was excited about it because she prepared by ordering a whole lot of fabric

01:04:25.180 thread and trimmings to make new outfits for her and for the Marys all still in black for official

01:04:29.880 purposes yeah and so she headed up north for this trip to meet and greet her subjects and turns out

01:04:36.860 she loved the Highlanders. And I just need to reveal at this point, I think I've mentioned

01:04:41.180 on this podcast before that much of my own personal ancestry is from Scotland. And I've

01:04:46.260 recently learned that my, like from many branches of my family tree were in fact Highlanders.

01:04:52.720 So I love that Mary's visiting Highlanders. And I love that she loved the Highlanders and they

01:04:57.400 liked her too. We all vibe. Maybe that's why I like her so much. Mary, in fact, she was just so,

01:05:02.880 she loved their whole deal. She, she ordered Highland outfits for herself to like cosplay

01:05:07.680 as Highlanders. She ordered plaid for her courtiers. Yeah. She was just like, let's all wear plaid. 0.87

01:05:12.540 Like this is the vibe, plaidcore. But one of the reasons why her brother really wanted her to go

01:05:17.760 up there, one of the reasons why she was going up there was to deal with Cock-O-The-North, who 0.95

01:05:22.580 it's important to note here, the Cock-O-The-North and Hollywood icon Jimmy Stewart did not get

01:05:28.000 along. They never really had. And Mary was turning to Hollywood icon, Jimmy Stewart for advice. And 0.77

01:05:33.360 he was like, cock of the North is dangerous. So Mary believed him. So this one cock of the North, 0.71

01:05:40.220 he's like a man in his forties. He'd lived a hard, stressful life, full of battles, being imprisoned,

01:05:45.680 et cetera. So remember when Mary first arrived in Scotland on that like gloomy day, two days early,

01:05:51.080 she arrived in Leith, which is down near Edinburgh in what I believe is the lowlands. 0.97

01:05:57.120 but while she's still setting her plans of where to go caco the north and his allies

01:06:01.160 had been encouraging her to land instead in aberdeen which is further north because he was

01:06:06.140 like if you land there you can like caco the north could summon the catholic nobles in the region

01:06:10.560 and maybe they could lead a catholic army down together to make scotland catholic again and like

01:06:15.540 end the reformation caco the north like i mentioned before like he was really influential but he could

01:06:20.860 summon an army of like 20 000 people on a moment's notice because like they all loved him and they

01:06:26.100 were like ready to follow him into battle. Interestingly, he also, before she went to

01:06:30.760 Scotland, Cocker the North was like, you should land there. And she's like, I don't know. But

01:06:34.640 then he's like, also just like heads up, like maybe don't trust your brother, Hollywood icon,

01:06:39.160 Jimmy Stewart, which her mother had also said, but Mary was just like, I think I will. Maybe

01:06:44.180 Hollywood icon, Jimmy Stewart had that same Stewart family charisma where you just like

01:06:48.460 want to trust him. I don't know. Anyway. So at this point, like, remember he was on her privy

01:06:53.080 council and stuff but i also said remember everyone is switching teams all the sides so

01:06:57.560 what happened at this point is that cock of the north was mad that mary had planned to meet with 0.99

01:07:02.040 elizabeth because cock of the north didn't fuck with elizabeth he didn't like protestants he 0.98

01:07:06.500 didn't like england and he did not hide that he disapproved of this like remember he went to the 0.99

01:07:11.300 john knox sermons and like pulled his bonnet over his face like he didn't hide his emotions well

01:07:17.080 but he felt confident to speak his mind to mary because he was so powerful

01:07:21.280 we need all these connections like he personally i mentioned before he was descended from the royal

01:07:27.820 family so he was descended from mary's grandfather i think he was an illegitimate son of mary's

01:07:33.440 grandfather something like that so he'd been raised at court with margaret tudor mary's

01:07:37.540 grandmother as his guardian he hung out and grew up with his cousin j5 mary's dad as kids he was

01:07:43.340 also chancellor of scotland so he kind of felt safe speaking his mind he's also catholic and

01:07:49.240 figure like you know mary's catholic catholic to catholic she'll get this at least one point we

01:07:53.960 know of hollywood icon jimmy stewart and cock of the north argued publicly in front of mary

01:07:58.540 so they're going up north and she just wanted to be like listen cock of the north like let's get

01:08:04.540 along whatever but hollywood icon jimmy stewart was like or maybe we can like take away all of

01:08:08.960 his lens and titles so they set up with an armed guard comprised mostly of haters of cock of the

01:08:15.500 north was who hollywood egg and jimmy stewart had gotten to be their like people they're going up

01:08:19.640 there with so first they go to aberdeen where she was greeted by cock of the north's wife

01:08:24.580 the countess elizabeth lady huntley who we're just going to call the countess and she was

01:08:30.840 waiting there with around 1500 armed troops mary had been expecting 100 so this was kind of like a

01:08:36.120 bit startling to her to be like oh is cock of the north like threatening me what's going on

01:08:40.940 but the countess didn't want to talk about him at all she wanted to request because her son

01:08:44.740 had been arrested. I forget if I talked about this, but I'll remind you if I hadn't.

01:08:52.160 So he had cut off another guy's arm with a sword and then had escaped prison and run to hide up

01:08:57.640 north. And so the countess was like, please show leniency to my son. He cut off another guy's arm,

01:09:02.260 but he's a really nice guy. And Mary was like, okay, if your son surrenders here, we'll put

01:09:06.180 him on trial in Aberdeen. And the countess was like, okay, great, cool. We'll do that.

01:09:09.480 But then the son learned that as a jailer, like if he revealed himself, the jailer would be this

01:09:14.720 longtime family enemy, who was also a Hollywood icon, Jimmy Stewart's uncle. And so the son ran

01:09:20.440 away. Again, he didn't trust this. But instead of going into hiding, this son, I'm just going to

01:09:25.360 call him the son because there's a lot of sons. The son of Cock in the North. He summoned his men 0.99

01:09:30.220 and began following the progress, like following Mary Queen of Scots to maybe kidnap her. He was,

01:09:35.600 some people thought, maybe infatuated with her. And this is the double-edged sword of being an

01:09:40.580 extremely attractive, charismatic person. You're going to get stalkers. Anyway, so he was just like

01:09:46.100 on the run, but following them. Also like, like that other guy from before, like he wanted to

01:09:52.020 marry Mary, but the son, he already had a wife. So, but divorce was kind of like no big deal to

01:09:57.340 them. Anyway, a warrant was put out for his arrest and it's like, turn around. He's behind you.

01:10:02.440 So this is happening. Cock of the North and the Countess had invited Mary to come visit them

01:10:06.260 at his castle. Remember, he's like nice French themed castle, but May refused to go there because

01:10:10.840 she was like, no, that's obviously a trap for your son to kidnap me. So she bypassed them. She didn't

01:10:16.060 visit them at their castle. She went to a different castle. And at that castle, she officially

01:10:19.920 pronounced that she had made her half-brother, Hollywood icon Jimmy Stewart, now the Earl of

01:10:25.020 Moray. And she had actually already done this, but she hadn't publicly announced it because she knew

01:10:29.840 that it would upset Cock of the North because he used to have that title and he like oversaw those

01:10:34.360 Lance, and he wanted that title. So doing this publicly was kind of like a passive-aggressive

01:10:39.220 or potentially aggressive-aggressive insult to Cock of the North. And this is also why Hollywood 0.64

01:10:44.380 icon Jimmy Stewart, in many biographies, is just called Moray because he became the Earl of Moray.

01:10:50.440 But I call him Hollywood icon Jimmy Stewart, and I will never stop. So Mary's group went on to the

01:10:55.860 royal castle of Inverness, which was under the care of Cock of the North's other son, Alexander.

01:11:01.280 having heard the way that mary treated his dad or his family alexander didn't let her into this

01:11:07.500 castle and then a rumor got to mary what mary was obviously like mad about this and she's like i'm 0.99

01:11:13.300 the fucking queen like what the fuck is this and then a rumor got to mary that cock of the north 0.99

01:11:17.580 himself maybe wanted to kidnap and marry her despite having a wife who was amazing the countess 1.00

01:11:22.500 so many rumors so many kidnappings this one i feel like hollywood icon jimmy stewart might

01:11:27.580 have started this rumor anyway so he's just like this little like is the parrot literally called

01:11:32.240 iago in disney's aladdin movie because when i say iago i'm not picturing the shakespeare play i'm

01:11:37.060 picturing the disney movie animated movie aladdin but hollywood icon jimmy stewart's just like yes

01:11:42.200 we must destroy cock of the north where it's kind of like the lord of the rings guy golem if you 0.99

01:11:47.860 haven't noticed yet hollywood icon jimmy stewart is a piece of shit i didn't want to come out and 0.99

01:11:52.880 say that at the beginning so you could just like be there with mary and like okay this is who she 0.99

01:11:57.420 trusts, okay, he's got good judgment. No, he's a piece of shit. And I'm happy to reveal that to 1.00

01:12:02.140 you. I tried not to spoil that as long as I could, but it's getting unavoidable. So, but Mary is

01:12:07.060 starting to notice that too. Anyway. So at this point, like things are just like spiraling out

01:12:12.020 of control. Cock of the North was hard at work persuading, trying to get people from the South

01:12:16.360 of the country to join with the Northeast against the queen in some sort of like revolution. So

01:12:21.820 unlearning this, Mary pronounced Cock of the North and his son, John, the one who's on the run in the

01:12:26.180 first place, outlaws. So yeah, in my notes here, I just said that, but in my notes, I also have

01:12:31.640 this. Hollywood, I can, Jimmy Stewart is like Gollum, like, yes, sister, send for reinforcements.

01:12:37.580 And so she did, including a man with a great name, Sir William Kirkcaldy of Grange. He's going to

01:12:44.420 show up a couple more times and you're going to remember that name because it's a memorable name.

01:12:49.400 He's a great soldier. And every time he appears, it's in some sort of like soldier capacity where

01:12:53.160 it's like, we need the best soldier, Kirk Caldy of Grange. So he attempted to capture Cocker the

01:12:57.860 North while he was at his castle having a meal. But Cocker the North heard about this and he

01:13:01.900 managed to escape by climbing over the back wall, no shoes on, no weapons. And then he outran his 0.62

01:13:06.980 pursuers on his horse. Meanwhile, his wife, the Countess, had gone to see a local witch to get a

01:13:13.240 prophecy about what she should do, which is like, honestly, no shade at all. Like how many people,

01:13:18.040 how many of us go to tarot cards fortune tellers like so she listened to a witch and local witch

01:13:24.020 was like hmm cock of the north won't come harm won't come to harm if he goes to this specific

01:13:29.740 place corici but there's going to be a real macbeth-esque twist to this like it's like no 0.93

01:13:35.620 harm will come to his body at corici or something so the countess was like listen cock of the north

01:13:40.000 my husband like go challenge the queen in battle the witch has said no harm will come to you so

01:13:45.100 he's like okay like let's do what the witch says and so with a 700 person army he headed to the

01:13:51.040 hill affair at corici meanwhile mary has her force so hollywood icon jimmy stewart is there

01:13:57.400 uh the scottish machiavelli is in charge as well she had like 2 000 people so more than twice as

01:14:02.760 many there was this battle more than 220 men were killed 120 were taken prisoner including cocker

01:14:08.700 the north and two of his sons as he was being taken off prisoner cocker the north suddenly fell

01:14:13.120 from his horse dead of a heart attack or a stroke. And this is like, so the witch has said like,

01:14:18.860 oh, if it goes to Corichi, he won't be hurt in battle or something. And so the countess was like,

01:14:23.560 yeah, go there. You won't be hurt in battle, but he wasn't hurt in battle, but he died of a heart

01:14:26.560 attack after losing a battle. So it's a real Macbeth adjacent Scottish witch fortunes. You 0.86

01:14:33.260 gotta really look for loopholes. Anyway, so his son, the son, John did not die of a heart attack.

01:14:39.460 he was taken for execution so mary and the marys went to like witness the execution they're like

01:14:43.780 do you see an execution like we love the highlands we're wearing our plaids like it was one of those

01:14:48.520 big sort of like only time execution parties but it was a badly done it was a botched execution

01:14:54.480 if you go to vulgar history pod on instagram i have the vulgar history bingo card and one of

01:15:00.160 the things on that is in fact botched execution i believe because it seems like i guess when an

01:15:06.140 execution goes, okay, people don't write about it, but it feels like every execution I've mentioned

01:15:09.680 on the show, something goes wrong. Anyway, so the guy doing the execution, not good, kept missing.

01:15:14.500 The execution kept missing, so he had to swing over and over. Mary eventually fainted, and seeing

01:15:19.560 this, some of the Scots women were like, oh, what's wrong with her? Get over it. You gotta 1.00

01:15:25.080 be rough and tough like us Scots ladies. But to be fair, to quote Rosemary Goring in her biography 0.73

01:15:30.800 of mary it had been a difficult month so we talked about her illness symptoms last time i think

01:15:37.420 and so when she is stressed that makes often makes mary have trouble with her appetite and

01:15:43.220 which doesn't eat enough that her like porphyria type symptoms kick in again so she felt ill shortly

01:15:49.440 after her return to edinburgh so this might have been a porphyria kicking in thing but also it

01:15:54.500 almost sounds like her symptoms and the way it's spread around the court it might have been the

01:15:57.320 first appearance in Scotland of influenza. Anyway, she got better. Also coming along to Edinburgh was

01:16:03.820 the dead corpse of Cocko the North, because he was going to be put on trial, but as a corpse.

01:16:09.740 So this is again, I don't know if this is on the vulgar history bingo sheet, but this is another

01:16:14.300 recurring motif, which is dead body treated as living person. His body was basically mummified

01:16:19.760 and filled with spices, embalmed and kept in storage until he could be put on trial as a corpse

01:16:25.040 for treason, I guess.

01:16:27.700 Anyway, meanwhile, the Countess

01:16:29.240 and their daughter, Jean, also

01:16:31.060 traveled south to Edinburgh because

01:16:32.760 Mary had, and Havadak and

01:16:35.100 Jimmy Stewart had seized their castle and took all their stuff,

01:16:37.180 like their tapestries, like all their furniture,

01:16:39.020 their beds. There's like a weird shortage of beds

01:16:41.180 in this era in Scotland.

01:16:43.060 And so now the Countess and Jean were going

01:16:45.040 to be going to join Mary's court 0.53

01:16:47.100 as courtiers, like maybe as like ladies 0.94

01:16:48.960 in waiting because they were vaguely related to her

01:16:51.180 and so she sort of had a responsibility to

01:16:53.000 take care of them despite everything that just went down. Meanwhile, Cock of the North had another

01:16:57.340 adult son, George, aka Cock of the North Jr. is what we're going to call him, to keep the memory

01:17:03.400 of Cock of the North ever alive. So Cock of the North Jr. was still alive. Hollywood Eck and Jimmy

01:17:08.380 Stewart tried to get Mary to issue a warrant for his execution, but she wouldn't because she started 0.99

01:17:12.420 to be like, starting to see your brother's kind of a piece of shit, getting her to start a civil 0.99

01:17:16.900 war just so he could become the Earl of Moray. But so Hollywood Eck and Jimmy Stewart stole a 1.00

01:17:21.940 secret warrant from her. So I don't know if that's like stealing, you know, like a pharmacist's

01:17:25.580 like prescription pad with a signature on it and putting on the prescription yourself. He stole

01:17:29.540 a secret warrant from her, then rode up to see Coughlin North Jr. and ordered the captain of

01:17:33.500 the castle where he was staying to execute him. The captain of the guard saw through these obvious

01:17:37.280 lies and didn't do it. He's like, well, let's just double check with Mary that this warrant is like,

01:17:41.240 okay. When Mary found out, she forbade the execution and in fact took Coughlin North Jr.

01:17:45.900 under her personal protection. As she was obviously coming to realize her brother,

01:17:50.360 hollywood icon jimmy stewart was a piece of shit and that actually maybe she shouldn't have fucked 1.00

01:17:54.680 over the entire gordon family because she needed them to support her as catholics and to counter 0.99

01:17:59.820 balance hollywood icon jimmy stewart's increasing amount of power and then seven months after his 0.64

01:18:05.980 death the undead corpse of cock of the north was put on trial for treason so they like propped up

01:18:10.840 his coffin so it looks like he was standing and he's put on trial and guess what he's found guilty

01:18:15.880 but even even john knox was like this whole thing is clearly just a setup to get more power for

01:18:21.580 hollywood icon jimmy stewart like clearly meanwhile the like ordinary people of scotland

01:18:27.440 were facing famine like the country in terms of just like agriculture was like not doing well

01:18:34.300 especially in the north many people died of hunger john knox saw this as divine punishment

01:18:39.360 for Mary's actions, e.g. dancing and wearing dresses with embroidery on it. Meanwhile, in France,

01:18:47.460 her uncles, the Dickies' uncles, continued to slaughter Protestants. Elizabeth wrote to Mary

01:18:52.160 to be like, what the fuck is up with your uncles? But then also she got a further letter revealing 0.99

01:18:56.680 that Elizabeth had contracted smallpox. Mary had had smallpox as a child and she knew that it sucked 0.93

01:19:01.980 and she knew that a big concern for people was like, am I going to have scarring after? So she's

01:19:06.020 like, hey, I didn't get any scars. I'm sure you'll be fine too. She wrote back a letter hoping

01:19:09.520 Elizabeth would get well soon. But also if Elizabeth died, Mary was at this point positioned

01:19:15.340 to maybe take over as the new queen. But then Mary fell ill again. She found out that Elizabeth 0.67

01:19:21.420 had gotten better and she knew that she needed a more secure investment in English in getting the

01:19:27.620 lake becoming heir to the English throne. Like friendship with Elizabeth was clearly not,

01:19:31.600 pen pal friendship was not going to give her the power and the security that she needed,

01:19:36.820 especially because William Cecil was trying to bar Mary from ever being Queen of England via an

01:19:42.660 act of exclusion. So her best option was going to be to get a husband that would help secure her

01:19:48.200 dynastic rights in England. And next week, we're going to talk about Mary Queen of Scots and the

01:19:53.760 search for a husband. So a couple housekeeping things. First of all, I'm really excited to tell

01:19:59.920 you that I've got this all sorted. I'm working with an organization called The Wordery, who does

01:20:05.780 transcriptions of podcasts. So starting in June, transcripts of new episodes, and then we'll be

01:20:11.420 working backwards from the new episodes, will be available if you go to vulgarhistory.com and just

01:20:16.720 click on the episode you want the transcript for. And then there should be a little thing there you

01:20:20.200 can click on to read a transcript of it if you prefer to read podcasts rather than to listen to

01:20:24.380 them. And the transcripts are by Aveline Malek of The Wordery. Also a reminder that our store,

01:20:32.460 I'm laughing because there was a quote, wait, from John Knox. In his will, he was talking about,

01:20:38.740 he has a quote where he's saying, you know, like, I've been such a good man all my life.

01:20:42.340 And one of the things he said was, merchandise I have not made. And I laughed out loud because I

01:20:46.620 was like, oh, merchandise I have made that says, where is your God now, John Knox? So I just

01:20:53.080 appreciate every time you buy some of the where's your god now john knox merch it's just it bothers

01:20:58.500 him and that makes me happy so anyway um the merch currently so if you go to vulgarhistory.com

01:21:04.100 slash store that takes you to our t public store and that's the best option for people in the u.s

01:21:09.580 like in terms of shipping costs and things like that if you live not in the u.s if you go to

01:21:13.900 vulgarhistory.redbubble.com that's where you'll get better shipping on things internationally

01:21:18.560 and all those links will be in the show notes so again if you're in the u.s vulgarhistory.com

01:21:22.980 slash store. If you're anywhere else,

01:21:25.220 bilgarhistory.redbubble.com

01:21:27.160 And the stuff in the store

01:21:28.960 right now, I'm so happy

01:21:30.960 with it. The designs are delightful

01:21:32.800 and they're all done by artists

01:21:34.400 who I worked with to design these specifically.

01:21:37.140 So there is, again, there's Where Is Your God Now?

01:21:38.940 John Knox, themed merchandise

01:21:40.840 designed by Jennifer Ferguson, who is a member

01:21:42.820 of the Tits Out Brigade. And

01:21:44.320 there is also Renaissance Reformation 0.97

01:21:46.800 Girl Squad and Goth Queen Momfriend

01:21:49.020 merch designed by Karen Moynihan

01:21:50.640 from the Double Love Sweet Felly High podcast.

01:21:52.980 Yan Yupiter has designed Catherine de Medici's Flying Squadron merch.

01:21:59.440 And so you can get all of that in these stores.

01:22:01.880 There's like, we're talking mugs, t-shirts, stickers, magnets, tote bags, all of it.

01:22:07.380 It's there.

01:22:08.080 And then also if you want to support this show in another way, there's my Patreon.

01:22:13.540 So if you go to patreon.com slash Anne Foster Writer, and that is where if you just pledge

01:22:19.380 money, basically whatever amount per month.

01:22:21.900 So like a dollar a month, you get early ad free access to all episodes of vulgar history.

01:22:25.460 If you pledge at least $5 or more a month, then you get the early ad free access to all

01:22:29.540 episodes of vulgar history, as well as you get Patreon exclusive bonus podcasts, like 0.71

01:22:35.340 So This Asshole, where I talk about gross men from history.

01:22:38.520 And I've had two people so far ask me, and I feel like by the time this episode comes 0.98

01:22:41.760 out, more will have asked me.

01:22:43.020 They're like, have you not done So This Asshole, John Knox? 0.98

01:22:45.580 Will you do So This Asshole, John Knox? 0.97

01:22:47.940 My response is, I don't know if I can. 0.95

01:22:50.860 I hate him so much, but I feel like by the end of these Mary Queen of Scots episodes,

01:22:54.780 I will have, against my will, learned enough about him.

01:22:57.480 I could do a John Knox episode, but here's what I'm going to say.

01:23:00.060 Right now, I have 392 supporters on Patreon.

01:23:03.740 If and when I get to 500 supporters on Patreon, I will do So This Asshole John Knox.

01:23:09.960 So that is my deal for you.

01:23:11.580 And you can also follow me on Instagram, where I'm at vulgarhistorypod.

01:23:16.080 and on tiktok i'm at vulgar history and next week yeah more mary queen of scots content so

01:23:25.200 thank you all for listening and until next time like mary queen of scots herself keep your pants

01:23:30.200 on and then unlike her well although philosophically tits out vulgar history is hosted

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Vulgar History - May 31, 2023

Mary, Queen of Scots： Part Two： A Progress North

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