Culture Study Podcast - There Has To Be a Better Way To Shop Online

00:00:00.000 I read somewhere I'm about to make up a fact that I read somewhere I heard yes I think I'm about to 0.99

00:00:07.680 say something with authority I think like more than any other generation like and I don't know

00:00:13.600 if this has changed since COVID but like millennials young Gen Xers and older Gen Zers

00:00:22.740 are motivated more than anything by convenience yes there's a lot going on in our lives and I

00:00:29.640 we don't have a lot going for us so we don't have a lot going for us it's really nice and we've

00:00:35.360 often convinced ourselves that purchasing something is the best way to fix a problem

00:00:40.400 like if we can just optimize part of our process if I can just have that little shelf

00:00:44.940 between my washer dryer and my cabinet like my life is going to be better and you know what I

00:00:50.320 don't think that that is untrue I'll tell you that I don't think that I think your life is

00:00:55.280 going to be better yeah your whole life the part of your life where you're searching for laundry

00:01:00.540 pods and like a lint catcher yeah it's going to be a lot that part of your life is going to be a lot

00:01:05.020 better this is the culture study podcast and i'm ann helen peterson and i'm caroline moss i am the

00:01:16.480 host and founder of do you think just bought it which is a online community based on product

00:01:22.240 recommendations it's amazing it's like my favorite thing like you are always so strongly featured in

00:01:28.700 my Instagram stories and I'm like like it's just a delight I love it very much um and I'll also say

00:01:34.300 that it's like a way of thinking about buying things that is like thoughtful you know it's not

00:01:40.480 just like here's a sale here's a sale here's a sale and we'll talk more about this later but like

00:01:44.240 it is very much about getting you the right thing instead of getting you the cheap thing

00:01:49.260 Is that a good way to describe it?

00:01:50.700 I think so, yeah.

00:01:51.620 And you were just a really good shopper and good recommender.

00:01:54.580 Like, it's just, you're a perfect person to lead this community.

00:01:58.360 I'm so happy that particular talent of mine is finally paying off.

00:02:02.960 Don't you feel like that's something that we used to say about, like, our mom's generation?

00:02:06.660 Like, there was always, like, a friend in the mom group that was, like, the good shopper.

00:02:10.700 Yeah, for sure.

00:02:11.940 Was it your mom?

00:02:12.960 No, no, no, no, no.

00:02:15.080 My mom either. 1.00

00:02:15.820 She doesn't like shopping.

00:02:16.800 she's not like shopping it's not like shopping maybe it skips a generation maybe I'm just like

00:02:22.440 I love shopping I loved the mall more than anything I still love a mall experience like

00:02:29.440 um when I go down to Seattle one of the most relaxing things that my friends and I do

00:02:34.260 is go to like the outdoor kind of bougie mall it's called you village and there's like overpriced

00:02:42.600 wine that you can have while you're sitting outside and then stroll from like anthropology

00:02:48.600 to like the overpriced kids store you know what I mean it is it's like an American pastime that's

00:02:55.620 gone by the wayside and so like whenever we get a chance to pick it back up there's an element of

00:03:00.840 nostalgia I think for our generation like you know that was the first place we got some true

00:03:06.200 autonomy was the mall but again I don't really go back often but when I do I'm always like

00:03:12.320 i should do this more this is fun well and now you live in new york and there's not really much

00:03:16.760 mall experience it's a whole the whole place is a mall i mean that's true when i go to new york

00:03:24.020 one of my favorite things now is to like go down to soho and just like walk into shops and touch

00:03:31.920 things like i remember when i was there a couple months ago i was like i have several hours i'm

00:03:37.420 going to go to museum and then i'm going to take the train down to soho and i'm going to touch

00:03:40.880 some things that i've had in my online cart yes it was amazing how was the experience yeah was it

00:03:45.760 great it was great and like solidified you know i talked to a salesperson i was like how waterproof

00:03:50.760 is this you know that's yeah yeah yeah right okay so tell us all about gthanks just bought it

00:03:56.080 yeah so gthanks just bought it started as actually as a podcast yeah almost five years ago in the

00:04:01.780 fall of 2019 i just wanted to talk to people about what they were buying like tell me the last thing

00:04:06.560 you bought i'm just a nosy person i want to know like what people are are shopping for and how much

00:04:11.800 they paid um i want to know what motivated the purchase and what ended up being so fun about it

00:04:17.080 was it kind of became this place where people brought some of like their most unsexy purchases

00:04:23.620 that they were really excited about so i remember like someone brought like a drain plug like finally

00:04:29.200 i found a drain plug that like fits my specific bathtub so that when i take a bath and it hits

00:04:34.260 that emergency like oh no overfill level it will let it go up like two more inches before it drains

00:04:39.600 and she was like so excited and we sold so many drain plugs from that it was like the infomercial

00:04:45.800 for drain plugs but it actually spawned into this online community on Facebook and on Instagram and

00:04:51.420 in a newsletter that grew because I think while wire cutters of the world and consumer reports of

00:04:57.900 the world are really great most people aren't really looking for the best of something they're

00:05:02.620 looking for something that works for them and what does it matter if something is the best if

00:05:08.080 it's not the best for you and so I've taken sort of the ethos of like the researching and the

00:05:14.100 shopping and like where do you get the best deal and who's selling it and what are the reviews say

00:05:19.220 and brought it to sort of like a forum where if you're buying a stroller and you live in a city

00:05:25.680 and you don't have a car you can say I'm looking for a stroller what should I get nothing out there

00:05:31.240 is really going to help you but in g thanks you go and you say like i'm looking for a stroller

00:05:35.460 what should i get and what you'll get back is community members saying like okay like i'm also

00:05:41.040 a city mom so what's really important to me is that these wheels can take mileage right and

00:05:46.520 whereas like some other parent who's like i'm never really walking with the stroller but i'm

00:05:51.400 constantly folding it up and throwing it in the back of my car can i do that without my partner

00:05:54.880 can i do it while the baby's like on my hip and someone will come in and be like okay so that

00:05:59.260 first stroller for the city like won't work for that but this is the stroller you want for that

00:06:02.640 and it kind of makes the purchase process a little bit more community oriented and you feel a bit

00:06:10.820 more confident that what you're gonna get is actually going to meet your needs and not

00:06:14.940 necessarily like fulfill check boxes of a bracket of some editor in New York's you know standard

00:06:23.680 nothing against the wire cutter at all but you know what I mean it's just it's like what do I

00:06:28.400 care if someone over here that I don't know says this is the best I have no idea if this is going

00:06:33.640 to actually work for me and so I've tried to make that the experience of do things and you know

00:06:40.780 people love love giving recommendations I find like I see this all the time in the threads that

00:06:48.700 I do for culture study like if you ask for recommendations or make a space where people

00:06:52.600 can ask for recommendations or advice and i think like you know what i always say as a guideline for

00:06:59.120 that and i know is a guideline for your space too is like your mileage may vary everyone's giving

00:07:04.480 the advice based on what they have experienced and like with an acknowledgement that that's not

00:07:08.700 necessarily going to be universal and so it's not like the voice of god saying this is the best

00:07:14.340 pair of glasses this is the best pair of underwear whatever it is there might be a component and

00:07:21.180 maybe some listeners are thinking this right now that you're like oh the only way that we bond with

00:07:25.580 each other is by like talking about what we're gonna buy but oh my gosh think about like how

00:07:30.160 much time do you think our grandparents spent like I'm thinking of my grandma and her three

00:07:34.360 sisters like just like talking about what they were gonna buy it's just that they were doing it

00:07:40.480 as sisters maybe on the phone maybe drinking weak coffee like you know what I mean yeah they were

00:07:46.220 just like oh i don't know am i gonna buy these chips like and also right right or like oh there's

00:07:51.740 a sale like oh my gosh my grandmother notoriously when we say it skips a generation like i am my

00:07:58.200 grandmother's granddaughter like my grandmother when she lived alone after my grandfather died

00:08:01.800 like if she saw a 10 for 10 box of pasta deal at shop right she was getting it she is one person

00:08:08.100 she's not gonna let 10 for 10 you know what i mean like she's yeah yeah yeah um the other thing

00:08:14.400 too and that do you think this really taught me is like if people are out there being like oh we

00:08:18.840 only bond over what we buy it's actually more than that it's like consumerism and spending money

00:08:24.420 touches every part of our lives in so many different areas and what i see in the g thinks

00:08:31.180 facebook group so much is like there's actually a real tender kind of like human connection like

00:08:36.020 yes it comes down to i'm looking for something for like x y and z but it's also there's so much

00:08:42.020 like humanity at the core of it which it sounds like kind of funny because it it is you know

00:08:47.240 like capitalism but when we live in capitalism we all have to buy stuff I mean that's like the

00:08:53.360 undeniable truth of the world that we live in is like we have to purchase things that is the

00:09:00.940 system that we have and I think when you can bring a little bit of power back to the consumer and

00:09:10.540 feel like you're not just blindly like oh that instagrammer said this is the best so I get like

00:09:17.720 oh that person said it's the best like you actually and like I don't know like oh all the

00:09:22.600 amazon reviews say like x y and z but I don't know who those people are you know what I mean like

00:09:26.120 you want to go to a place where I don't know there's so many people who are like I have an

00:09:31.700 elderly parent and like we're trying to make sure that they don't fall like does anyone have

00:09:37.000 experience with setting up a house to meet those needs and there is always going to be someone and

00:09:41.900 and who's going to be like I was there two years ago this is what I bought that really helped you

00:09:46.260 wouldn't think to buy it like that's the kind of stuff I think that you really can't get from just

00:09:51.560 searching like best etc like that those sort of human driven experiential anecdotes behind why we

00:10:03.020 buy the things that we buy are the things that make us more informed and then ultimately i think

00:10:07.800 more a little bit more in control of like the stuff we bring into our homes the stuff we bring

00:10:12.360 into our lives and what we spend our hard earned money on and i'll also say that i don't think that

00:10:18.760 this group is against reusing or repurposing in no way it's like oh no don't buy something new

00:10:24.620 go look on facebook marketplace and see if someone is reselling this like that is you know like that's

00:10:29.540 that's absolutely part of the ethos. And I think that, you know, this, the questions that we

00:10:33.980 received today and what we're going to talk about in this episode are in many ways, a reaction to

00:10:40.100 the very cold experience of online shopping that feels very like disembodied. Like you don't know

00:10:48.040 who to trust. Like you don't have any of the experience of actually going into a space where

00:10:53.840 there's someone knowledgeable to talk to you about the items. And then you also, and this is like

00:10:58.480 a symptom of our difficulty forming community like you don't have that many people in your real life

00:11:03.320 you know like in my group chat of my friends someone will ask for a recommendation of something

00:11:08.760 and like people have busy lives and sometimes no one answers but if you go to the g thinks facebook

00:11:13.600 group someone is always wasting time and ready to answer your question me me first and foremost for

00:11:19.700 sure oh but yeah i mean like absolutely absolutely yeah i look forward to these questions because i

00:11:25.880 really do think what I was missing in online shopping was community and so I built it you know

00:11:31.640 yeah like but but I think that you're right there is like a really cold isolating

00:11:36.400 experience that takes you out of your immediate world that you live in this is the trade-off of

00:11:44.360 convenience hey everyone it's Anne while we're on the subject of online shopping I'm coming to you

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00:12:23.660 Okay, thanks.

00:12:24.220 back to the show all right so these first two questions are about sorting through like all of

00:12:34.840 the shit that we see online so first question is from sarah how can i assess how legit some

00:12:40.960 online retailers are i get so many ads for attire that i think i'd like but can't see in person from 0.99

00:12:47.240 sellers i've never heard of so this i think of this as instagram targeting selling and it's

00:12:52.420 almost always like drop shipping from pop-up companies low quality like it looks really nice

00:12:59.260 when you when you see it in the ad and then it comes and you're like oh my gosh yeah you're like

00:13:04.540 oh my god foiled again I did this with a really cute ring I literally bought a ring and I was

00:13:08.540 like this is plastic I bought a plastic ring so shoot when I used to be on Twitter sometimes I

00:13:15.060 would say like is this a legit company and yeah it's funny in hindsight like some companies that

00:13:20.120 are very much legit that I was like like I didn't do this for Everlane but we're talking about like

00:13:24.080 companies that are on like the level of something like Everlane that I was like is this a real

00:13:28.300 company? Because you don't know there are so many companies. You don't know there are so many

00:13:32.480 companies. I don't blame you. Someone did that in the do you think group the other day they were

00:13:37.560 like is do we think Bowdoin is legit? We were like Bowdoin is legit. But if you don't know

00:13:43.440 you know how would you know yes so how do you ascertain if a company is legit or it's like

00:13:50.440 the the quality is going to match what you see in the pictures I guess yeah right I think I think

00:13:55.180 first you know decide what legit means to you is it is it like am I even going to get these clothes

00:14:00.080 is it like I think like first of all there are like very actual pragmatic ways of figuring this

00:14:06.660 out like Trustpilot is a good place to go to like literally just see if this company is real

00:14:11.660 plug it in trustpilot.com and they'll tell you say even literally type in this is the internet

00:14:16.840 you guys reddit exists i don't use it because i think it's scary but like you can literally type

00:14:21.700 in like you know clothing company scam and you will get what you need from google remember that

00:14:27.840 you are not living in a vacuum so if you are getting some targeted ad it's getting targeted

00:14:33.620 to a lot of people and someone has already kind of figured this out you can reverse google image

00:14:37.260 search on whatever image they're showing you but i also think that people sometimes need to step

00:14:41.400 back and i think it's very hard we live in the world of amazon we live in the world like a set

00:14:45.580 of convenience and mass produced everything means that the prices don't have to be high but like

00:14:51.840 timu for example you're always going to get like an ad for timu where it's like a piece of furniture

00:14:57.240 for four dollars and someone will be like oh is this legit and it's like let's just like use our

00:15:03.600 thinking caps for a second if something seems too good to be true it probably is and i think

00:15:09.760 remember that like it's very easy to make a website it's very easy to steal pictures from

00:15:15.520 places so that's where I would start and a reverse google image search is your friend I think you

00:15:22.660 would be surprised at where you find some of the pictures that are being used as like proprietary

00:15:27.500 it's a complicated thing to talk about people's relationship with online shopping right like I

00:15:31.960 think there are people who are very much like I am not going to do any online shopping I'm not

00:15:35.780 going to buy it from any mass producers i'm not going to have any shipping great and how do we

00:15:39.700 hold like that thinking in concert with the fact that online shopping has made so many things

00:15:46.480 available for people who can't get out of their homes for various reasons who can't travel who

00:15:50.280 are in more rural areas like like i am trying to untangle my thoughts about it all the time

00:15:54.680 like i am constantly at once nostalgic for a time when the only clothes that you could get

00:16:01.360 as a teenager were the ones at the mall and it was all the same like Mossimo shirt and Calvin

00:16:07.060 Klein's sweatshirt and also I'm like oh that like so severely limited the ways that I could express

00:16:14.040 myself and how it was like okay to be a person in the world right so this is not an episode about

00:16:19.300 the ethics of online shopping this is about how we online shop and so like I'm sure you get this

00:16:25.060 a lot though right like people who are asking you like you're talking about shopping you shouldn't

00:16:29.340 be buying cheap things like this is not sustainable you know think about labor i think we all i think

00:16:35.260 yeah it comes up from time to time i think people try to be as thought i think we all try to be as

00:16:40.140 thoughtful as possible i think we also all try to be realistic i love thrifting you know yeah i also

00:16:46.340 love buying stuff it's just who i am i think it's one of those things too where there are systems in

00:16:53.000 place that end up making the individual feel a lot of the weight of bigger choices I think yeah

00:17:01.740 we can all do our part um I think there's always that conversation of like oh I would never buy

00:17:07.580 from Amazon like that's great that is great like I have a hard and fast rule I don't buy books from

00:17:12.180 Amazon yeah like never and I think it's a keyboard warrior world where it's like you know people want

00:17:19.860 to be like well i actually don't do this like great okay and i actually don't do this so like

00:17:24.840 okay here we are both of us not actually doing things so now what you know what i mean so yeah

00:17:29.660 i think it comes up a lot but i think also like to ignore the fact that it exists that it's a real

00:17:34.880 that it's it's a billion billion billion dollar industry every year um it is the way we live now

00:17:43.300 is um you know i think to ignore that is silly because it's it is what it is and a lot of things

00:17:51.260 have been put into place over the years to create this world in which we are constantly like online

00:17:55.760 shopping online being sold things buying things trying to fix our lives with things but you are

00:18:00.880 totally correct that like the way that we are forced to think about our options in terms of

00:18:06.740 enacting change or like if we could just change our personal behaviors and shame others into

00:18:11.220 changing their personal behaviors instead of pushing our legislators to make massive systemic

00:18:17.460 changes that will change the entire shape of the economy and how our world works and that doesn't

00:18:22.580 mean that i think like no ethical consumption under capitalism i just mean it's a less productive

00:18:27.900 solution for us to think about how we as individuals can make each other feel bad yeah i agree okay so

00:18:33.680 next question kind of gets into some of this stuff this one comes from alexa the process of researching

00:18:39.020 the perfect item by reading online reviews is a method I use to soothe my anxiety, especially

00:18:44.900 reviews with pictures. Thank you to the people who post reviews with pictures. This applies to

00:18:50.420 anything, the perfect comfy no VPL panties, the best no leak water bottle, the ultimate tubing

00:18:56.600 mascara. Somehow a purchase being so thoroughly researched via these reviews makes it seem less

00:19:02.840 impulsive and something more you genuinely need in your life that will be an investment piece in

00:19:08.680 the years to come my question is how much of online shopping culture is just soothing anxiety

00:19:14.480 and why don't more people talk about the shame that this comes with spending more than we can

00:19:19.600 afford on things that we don't need as a side note i recently learned that returned items often go

00:19:25.080 straight to landfill because it's more economical to do this than to resell them i'm completely

00:19:30.180 horrified by this please talk about it i think people need to know okay so let's talk about the

00:19:35.840 anxiety part first do you relate to this at all so yeah so a few words here peak my tingly spidey

00:19:43.180 senses or the words being perfect best ultimate um which is kind of what i try to get away from

00:19:50.560 in my shopping uh i think that like anxiety first of all i think anxiety is like deeply

00:19:55.160 individual right so if you're somebody who likes control and and is trying to uh and i say this as

00:20:02.520 someone who loves control is trying to sort of like, if I have this, then like things will go

00:20:06.800 right. And if I do this, then things will go right. If that to you comes out in shopping, then

00:20:13.160 yeah, that makes sense. I think people do use online shopping as a way of feeling like they

00:20:18.600 have some sort of say in one aspect of their lives, especially people our age, right? Like

00:20:23.800 we're like a weird generation and like a weird time. We don't really have a blueprint. We are

00:20:29.160 not doing the things that our parents did we don't live the way that our parents lived and i think

00:20:33.440 that it can be a little stressful to look ahead and really not not know what this world is going

00:20:37.560 to look like in 10 20 30 years but like hey look at this ad for this water bottle like i'd be very

00:20:42.920 hydrated if i had this water bottle and what i see from g things and what i see from my i think

00:20:47.900 people are very aware of over consumption i think people are very aware of how much stuff every year

00:20:56.100 that they give away or find and go like I bought this like what is this um how many clothes in

00:21:02.720 their closet they don't wear and I think finding that balance of like well I still do need that

00:21:09.360 you know I do need x like I do have to buy x like the idea of if you research it if you do

00:21:16.260 everything right if you spend a ton of time it's like pouring yourself into like figuring out like

00:21:20.700 which item you need to get then you don't feel that shame of that like impulse purchase i think

00:21:29.260 that that's a very real thing uh and i do i think the reason people don't want to talk about the

00:21:34.780 shame that comes with that is because it comes back to money and people don't like talking about

00:21:39.360 money and people don't want to talk about their fine there's a lot of shame with finances there's

00:21:42.800 a lot of shame with having and not having and instagram is like a 24 7 television channel of

00:21:49.920 watching what people have um and there's not a ton of transparency either around

00:21:54.480 how people have what they have where they get it from you know like sometimes i when when people

00:21:59.820 are like oh my parents bought me this house i like like them more for it you know what i mean

00:22:03.320 i'm like thank you because at least i'm not sitting here being like wait a minute i have a

00:22:08.920 job how'd you get that down yeah how'd you get that house you and i both have jobs why don't i

00:22:13.860 of a house you know yeah I think everyone in an attempt also to win people's attention online

00:22:20.860 it's like a it's like a race to be the most relatable and a lot of relatability comes down

00:22:27.820 to like you know does your life look like mine does your life look like something I aspire to

00:22:33.940 all of these things cost money and if you don't know where the money is coming from it's coming

00:22:38.340 from somewhere whether that's like someone's maxed out credit card whether it's someone's

00:22:41.920 parents that you don't know about it says a lot about who we are as people you know it's like a

00:22:45.680 really intimate form of like showing yourself like I wouldn't want someone going through my

00:22:50.880 credit card statement and being like oh really wow okay I'm like oh my like that would be like

00:22:55.820 my worst nightmare I mean like Charlie shames me about this all the time in like a very funny way

00:23:00.960 he's like yours would just be so much compost but see like if you can tell a lot about a person by

00:23:08.220 their credit card statement compost doesn't show up on mine and okay so just so you know like i

00:23:14.380 mine would be like a lot of target mine would be like a lot of target um i think if you feel like

00:23:22.160 online shopping is soothing your anxiety i think that's actually a very real thing that you can

00:23:26.900 you can train yourself out of i talked to my therapist like you can seek help for that that's

00:23:32.520 not stupid or like frivolous like that's actually if you are like identifying that like oh when i'm

00:23:37.900 feeling anxious or out of control like I spend a lot of money online or like there are boxes that 0.59

00:23:43.140 show up to my house and I don't remember what I bought like that's actually a real thing

00:23:46.180 there is someone who you can talk to about that for sure right and identifying it I think is

00:23:52.380 oftentimes the the first step to being able to grapple with it so strategies that I've seen

00:23:59.940 people do very effectively is like I can put as many things into my cart as I want right and then

00:24:05.880 but i'm not allowed to buy them until i can't check out yeah and for like however many days

00:24:11.160 because that that works for me all the time i'm like oh yeah like what was i thinking like i don't

00:24:17.360 want that i love doing much i love doing the like if i'm still thinking about it in two weeks i'll

00:24:22.740 let myself get it or right um you know my friend nora does a thing every once in a while where she

00:24:28.580 just keeps a running notes app of every single thing she wants like every fleeting thought because

00:24:34.260 it is really easy and i'll give you a really funny example of this is that like when i moved

00:24:41.020 into my own place last year after i separated from my ex-husband i was like throwing myself

00:24:47.940 into like all these hobbies and like i there was a commercial on television and there was just like

00:24:55.340 a guy i don't know what it was either a commercial or like one of those dance competition shows or

00:25:00.180 but a guy was tap dancing and i was like i know how to tap dance because i tap danced as a kid

00:25:04.080 and then i like went on amazon and in three seconds flat bought tap shoes like what like

00:25:10.300 just was like this is what i'm gonna i'm gonna do this like this is gonna be a hobby for me

00:25:13.280 i'm gonna like throw myself into the world of tap i'm gonna take tap classes i'm gonna like

00:25:17.980 i should have just written it down i'm gonna like circle back on this caroline but instead i went

00:25:22.860 like i went on amazon i was like capizio tap shoes you know size 10 capizios yeah i literally

00:25:29.620 bought like $70 tap shoes and then they arrived and I had forgotten I bought them and I was like

00:25:35.220 okay this is a lesson for me like keep a like a notes app would have been perfect for this like

00:25:39.680 tap shoes because in two in two weeks in two hours I would have gone back to that and been

00:25:44.440 like no no no no no but I think there you have to set up boundaries also between you and it's

00:25:52.320 friction it's just friction absolutely take your you were storing your credit card in your phone

00:25:57.380 you know if that's a thing for you but like there was no way there isn't I realized after that

00:26:03.020 moment no matter what line of work I'm in even if it is this line of work like there should not be

00:26:09.800 a way for me to pull out the computer that I keep in my pocket and in 4.2 seconds have a pair of tap

00:26:16.760 shoes on their way to my house I realized in that moment I need to set up friction I need to set up

00:26:21.400 some boundaries I need to set up some like checkpoints we all do it you know and I think

00:26:26.380 that either there's not a lot of people who want to talk about it because we all do it and it's

00:26:31.620 actually so normalized it's probably that mixed in with a little bit of like this is embarrassing 0.83

00:26:36.380 shit really is two things i'll say is that i think that some of the search for the perfect thing is 0.95

00:26:43.600 bound up in like millennial perfectionism uh that's not unique to millennials but i know it 0.97

00:26:49.500 as like a particularly like if i just work harder then i will do the thing that will fix my life

00:26:55.320 and that includes reading enough reviews right so if you just do the research then things will

00:27:00.640 work out and the right thing will fix the the hole in your life yes yes not true and that the other

00:27:08.180 thing that has really helped me and this was true during the pandemic and this is true living on an

00:27:13.600 island is being face to face with the reality of what my purchases like require of people

00:27:19.640 we have a month every year where the ferry goes out of service and so all of the mail all of the

00:27:26.460 packages have to be hauled onto the passenger ferry wow in like a wagon and so whatever you buy

00:27:34.680 the post person is dragging it over in a wagon we're not talking about like in a giant truck

00:27:39.940 like amazon going around like it is going around in a wagon i think that that has helped me just

00:27:45.740 to be a little bit more mindful and this also brings us to the this last kind of add-on to

00:27:50.600 the question which is that once you have the knowledge in your head and amanda mole wrote

00:27:55.140 about this very vividly last year about what actually happens to your returns which is that

00:28:01.560 most of them are junked then it it has personally made me so much more conscious about like oh i'm

00:28:08.480 just gonna order the entire catalog and try them all on on at home as my like personal

00:28:13.240 styling area right you know what I mean like I just I can't do that anymore so I spend a lot

00:28:18.940 more time trying to get to the right size or the right thing and sometimes it works sometimes it

00:28:24.460 doesn't but it just has made me more mindful because I can't unknow that knowledge yep and

00:28:28.940 I want to also add on to that that again going back to like system of change versus shaming

00:28:35.920 individuals there are two people I follow on Instagram dumpster dive king and the trash walker

00:28:41.340 who are often bringing awareness to sort of corporate policies

00:28:45.380 that allow stores to throw out either their returns or,

00:28:49.220 and these are like IRL, you know, brick and mortar stores,

00:28:52.980 that either they're allowed to throw out their returns

00:28:55.360 or they junk like old seasonal stuff

00:28:57.680 and they cut up the clothing so no one can wear it.

00:29:01.120 They slash the soles of shoes so no one can wear them.

00:29:04.100 And there are a lot of laws trying to get passed about sort of,

00:29:10.080 because all those companies can write the loss profit as write-offs, right?

00:29:14.360 So it's a moneymaker for big corporations.

00:29:17.440 But there are laws that are trying to get people trying to pass laws

00:29:19.840 that sort of put a stop on companies being able to, you know,

00:29:26.080 basically burn the return and call it a loss

00:29:28.540 so that they can make up for the money on their taxes.

00:29:30.780 So if that's something that really concerns you,

00:29:32.440 there actually are like things in place that you can be vocal about

00:29:36.920 so that hopefully there's change to that in the future.

00:29:40.080 And I'll also say that you can shop companies that are very good about their resale market,

00:29:43.720 like have a secondary market, and also their remainders and their returns.

00:29:48.200 Okay, we're going to do this one really quickly because it's something that I think about

00:29:51.140 constantly.

00:29:51.860 Great.

00:29:52.460 This is about the adirited side effect of online shopping.

00:29:56.660 This is from Hannah.

00:29:57.960 Has email marketing gotten out of control, or is it the natural progression of consumerism

00:30:02.180 and consumption?

00:30:03.240 I'm not just thinking about the rush of holiday shopping, but also why I regularly get multiple

00:30:08.140 emails per day for brands like Ulta or Madewell manufacturing urgency. In my experience, these

00:30:14.140 also seem to be coming from brands with a primarily female demographic. Okay, I don't think this is

00:30:19.580 gendered. No, I get so many emails from West Elm. And the difficulty is that like, I need my shipping

00:30:26.100 notification. So I can't just unsubscribe utterly. But like if someone if an alien was looking at my

00:30:31.640 inbox, they would think my best friend was West Elm, right? Like, that's who I get the most

00:30:35.260 correspondence from and part of it is because they're part of a larger brand conglomerate

00:30:39.820 so it's not just from West Elm it's West Elm Kids it's Pottery Barn it's all of these Pottery

00:30:45.760 Barn teen I get so many Pottery Barn teen and I think that the reason they send them is because

00:30:51.880 they work they work at a low percentage but they work in some capacity and so the only thing you

00:30:56.560 can do is figure out how to unsubscribe yeah I would say you should replace email you should

00:31:03.660 used the shop app oh not a not a plug i'm not getting small i'm not sponsored but they actually

00:31:08.920 well they have access to like everything that you bought um all those tracking shows up in the shop

00:31:15.440 app you don't have to get emails so like you can see when your things are coming but that's how

00:31:18.740 you can unsubscribe my issue is the text messages i get from companies i love that i can just say

00:31:24.540 stop though that's nice i know but i never do i just like let them sit there and i'm like

00:31:28.620 it's like I've turned my text my text inbox has turned into my email inbox just like things I

00:31:35.200 don't reply to and things I don't read um no same and my friends look at me in horror they're like

00:31:40.580 how do you have 155 unread text messages and I'm like well brands okay so this is my thought on

00:31:47.300 this in this day and age I have two like strongly held beliefs about shopping which is one you

00:31:55.160 should never be paying full price for much very little because you don't have to there's always a

00:32:00.880 deal two everything is readily available so all of the urgency is manufactured unless you are

00:32:09.780 looking to buy something very specific and you are waiting for the price to drop I think what

00:32:14.660 people forget is that like just because you have not saved any money if you are spending money on

00:32:22.660 something you don't need even if it is on sale you haven't saved anything and I think that people

00:32:30.420 have a hard time myself included but it is a very good practice and in doing this as a job for five

00:32:35.820 years I have now actually been able to put a product I am allowed to skip sales I am allowed

00:32:40.960 to not buy things there are going to be times where it's like and I had this experience a couple

00:32:46.500 weeks ago hey we're doing it like the frame tv is on sale it's 500 off every single size for like

00:32:53.360 two weeks only or whatever i had to buy a new tv for my apartment i wanted the frame i needed to

00:32:58.960 get the frame i would have been pissed if i missed that sale yeah it lined up perfectly with the

00:33:04.000 purchase that i needed to make at the price that i wanted to pay there is also a part of me that

00:33:10.120 if i didn't need a tv would have seen that and been like well 500 off like i should get it you

00:33:17.700 know and so i think that there is urgency that's manufactured but if you can kind of line up

00:33:25.280 finding the good deal with the thing that you actually need to buy you will financially make

00:33:34.440 a lot of very good decisions um i think it is the culture of thinking like oh my god it's 25

00:33:41.320 off till then i don't need anything but it's 25 off well guess what in two months they'll do it

00:33:46.960 again and so you know what i mean you'll be fine and you'll you'll get what you need then the

00:33:52.100 urgency is always going to be pushed in your face you know what you need and when you need it

00:33:56.800 melody you say you have a tip for this yeah caroline do you use the honey app or not app

00:34:02.700 use honey period i use honey i use rakuten i have them all in place but yes carolyn's like listen

00:34:09.080 i use honey for those purchases that like i want eventually because you can set a price drop alert

00:34:16.440 for like notify me when it's 10 off or more yep so like there was this chandelier from crate and

00:34:24.700 barrel that i really wanted and it was never ever ever on sale it was on my drop list for like

00:34:29.980 three years and then it finally went on sale and I was able to snap it up yeah is there no better

00:34:37.520 feeling but guess what there's going to be so many people like bought that chandelier just because it

00:34:42.380 was on sale in that moment and they got like one email of that you know what I mean yeah therein

00:34:46.720 lies the difference yeah absolutely oh I love that for you I will also say that any sort of

00:34:53.400 marketing that's like these shoes that always sell out are are back and like I hate that because

00:35:00.140 if your shoes are always selling out that's a supply chain failure and you're just advertising

00:35:04.180 your supply chain failure exactly I always think I'm like if you know they always sell out why are

00:35:09.300 you not stock the other marketing tactic I hate is the viral tick tock we have now hearkened back

00:35:16.940 to a place of 2012 where we're like this is breaking the internet nothing has broken the

00:35:22.480 internet the internet is fine but yeah oh god these shoes that are always selling out it's like

00:35:27.220 well then maybe you should make more because you know that everyone's buying them so what's up

00:35:31.740 what's going on with you guys and it's also probably manufactured scarcity like they're

00:35:37.160 like they sold out the ones in this room sold out absolutely okay last question this one's from

00:35:45.460 megan it seems like no one but trolls and the truly aggrieved are willing to leave bad reviews

00:35:52.080 particularly in spaces where the maker, author, whoever, are able to see and potentially engage

00:35:57.240 with the review. While I completely understand and agree with the impulse to spare them a barrage

00:36:01.700 of negative feedback, especially if the product was ultimately just not for you, it also seems

00:36:06.520 to increasingly be leaving a vacuum of constructive feedback that actually helps the right audience

00:36:11.140 find the product or helps the maker improve future iterations. Is this just how it is now?

00:36:16.120 what is the benefit of a system or a society that only functionally allows people to leave five star

00:36:22.060 or one star reviews wow this is like a philosophical question i was gonna say this

00:36:26.860 is like so deep this is pass or fail like this is there's no gradations but i think

00:36:32.600 i don't know first of all i don't love the stars as like a means of reviewing something just

00:36:38.920 generally because i think they're imprecise i would rather but i understand that like that's

00:36:43.700 how you can aggregate an overall feeling about something what's your take because the places

00:36:49.900 that i really rely on for clothing and for other items like they do actually have a lot of engaged

00:36:56.220 reviewers yeah i mean i think it really depends i think on the biggest platforms on the amazons of

00:37:01.660 the world and it is sort of like a web md self-fulfilling prophecy situation you're always

00:37:08.180 going to find a review that like exactly says what you like if you want a product you're gonna

00:37:14.960 only look at the five-star reviews you know what I mean like if you want to if you went to a

00:37:19.860 restaurant and you hate it you want to you're gonna look at the one-star reviews and be like

00:37:24.540 I those are my people you know what I mean like also like Amazon a lot of the companies will give

00:37:30.600 out like a 20% off code if you leave a review you know what I mean like there's a lot of there's a

00:37:35.740 lot of like quid pro quo review processes in place um I think we know I think we have to trust

00:37:42.760 ourselves more I think we have to take everything with a grain of salt I think there's something

00:37:47.700 right on the money about this idea of like one-star reviews are from just truly aggrieved

00:37:53.320 people uh I think it's like when you are mad enough that's one of and or if you feel like

00:37:58.260 you have been wronged by a product by a place a restaurant a service um one of the few things

00:38:04.720 that you have in your power is to go try to bring down um the business with your review that's why

00:38:11.300 when restaurants come under fire for you know uh viral news stories that happen like like having a

00:38:18.900 like a republican politician who went to that restaurant yeah exactly and then you got all

00:38:24.560 these people who've never been to the restaurant leaving one-star reviews and i mean it really i

00:38:27.860 mean unfortunately like it actually is a very powerful tool at your disposal because it really

00:38:32.200 can F with a business. Um, but yeah, I think that like we started out, I think when that the,

00:38:40.760 to the scales hit their tipping point, reviews were like so helpful, like amazing, like, wow,

00:38:47.440 great. But ultimately, honestly, sometimes I think it's just too much information.

00:38:52.100 Is there a better way to do it? Probably. Have I thought of it? No. Have I tried to do it with

00:38:56.860 my own company. Yeah. But, but I also am like, yeah, I think that like, you have to really

00:39:03.620 remember what motivates somebody to leave a review and why. So like, what kind of, you know,

00:39:09.180 what grain of salt am I taking this review that I'm reading with? I also think if you're shopping

00:39:13.260 for something at a site, like say Amazon, where you're like, oh my gosh, there's so many bots.

00:39:18.760 There's so many companies. How do I ascertain between these two things? Oftentimes, not always,

00:39:23.400 But oftentimes in those cases, it is something that you could go to Target or to the hardware store and have someone actually help you and find the thing.

00:39:34.440 Right. And so part of your aggravation is that you want to do something that is optimizing and you are failing to optimize the experience because the reviews are bad and the sorting mechanisms are bad and the labeling is bad.

00:39:45.860 and amazon hasn't done anything to control it so cut bait if you can and i want to very much

00:39:53.060 acknowledge not everyone can always go to the store i grew up in a place without a target

00:39:57.520 it's real like the closest thing that you could do is go to a walmart and still the in-person

00:40:04.040 shopping experience at a walmart is going to be superior to the online experience of shopping at

00:40:08.900 a walmart and you're just gonna it's gonna be a lot easier like it might seem like it's harder

00:40:15.620 but it's actually easier and I think that's hard that's hard to like get into our heads like even

00:40:21.960 when I lived in Brooklyn there would be things that I wanted to buy online because I didn't

00:40:27.460 want to schlep to the Lowe's at Gowanus and I lived like not far from that Lowe's at Gowanus

00:40:33.880 I lived a block and a half from that Lowe's in Gowanus and I did not want to buy things at that

00:40:37.700 Lowe's in Gowanus like I mean especially in New York like the denser your city I mean to go to

00:40:44.580 the Costco inhumane no no I mean it's like a bazillion other problems like I would rather go

00:40:50.520 to a hardware store locally you know family-owned hardware store in my neighborhood but how could

00:40:55.640 they like afford the rent in this place that you know so like yeah if I'm if the choices are

00:41:01.180 go to lowes.com or go to Lowe's in Gowanus and it's gonna take like two hours I'm just gonna go

00:41:07.340 lowes.com but then you might get the wrong thing and then you have to go to the post office which

00:41:12.440 is an even more arduous experience in new york and then it's my problem so i think sometimes

00:41:17.580 thinking about why am i shopping this particular way that feels really bad if it's out of absolute

00:41:24.780 necessity i get it but if it's not if there are other options that are available to you that

00:41:29.920 maybe the experience of shopping is less bad and will require fewer returns and less dissatisfaction

00:41:35.960 yep and also then just rely on people who have advice about this sort of thing whether it's in

00:41:41.900 a group like yours or a text thread or your parents I mean other people have had the need

00:41:47.840 that you have had in the past so there are people out there even if it's just like asking a question

00:41:52.640 on Instagram with a little like Instagram box you know what I mean yeah people love giving advice

00:41:58.400 exactly someone else has bought this before someone else you know has bought what you need

00:42:02.460 before this has been fantastic in the AAA segment asking anything Melody and I are going to answer

00:42:09.040 two more shopping related questions one about shopping for clothes and one about buying a house

00:42:15.040 so if you need that conversation in your life head to culturestudypod.substack.com

00:42:20.500 caroline where can people find you on the internet if they want to hear more

00:42:25.120 you can go on instagram uh and follow g thinks just bought it pod and then from there there's

00:42:32.860 like a link in that bio that will take you everywhere else you need to be the facebook

00:42:36.280 group the newsletter old episodes of the podcast um including that that drain plug episode somewhere

00:42:43.620 in the beginning but the place to start is instagram is it from you that i found out about

00:42:49.300 the drain plug um that like collects all the hair the shroom the tub the shroom the tub shroom yeah

00:42:56.220 that was bev's favorite puppy toy was to go into the tub and take out the tub shroom yeah i believe

00:43:03.680 it. Life changer. All right. Thank you so much. This has been so great. So fun. Thank you for 0.74

00:43:09.860 having me. Thank you so much for listening to the culture study podcast. Be sure to subscribe

00:43:15.020 wherever you get your podcasts. We have so many great episodes in the works and I promise you

00:43:19.620 don't want to miss any of them. If you want to suggest a topic, ask a question about the culture

00:43:24.560 that surrounds you or submit a question for our subscriber only advice time segment. Check the

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00:43:35.200 head to culturestudypod.substack.com. It's five bucks a month or $50 a year, and you'll get ad

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00:43:52.380 The Culture Study Podcast is produced by me, Anne Helen Peterson, and Melody Rowell.

00:43:56.420 Our music is by Poddington Bear. You can find me on Instagram at Anne Helen Peterson,

00:44:02.020 Melody at Melodious47, and the show at Culture Study Pod. Thank you so much for your support.

Culture Study Podcast - May 22, 2024

There Has To Be a Better Way To Shop Online

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