Missing Witches - Covid Coven with WhiteFeather, Krista, Becca and Amelie

00:00:00.120 You aren't being a proper woman, therefore you must be a witch. 1.00

00:00:03.220 Be a witch! Be a witch! Be a witch! Be a witch! Be a witch! Be a witch! Be a witch! 1.00

00:00:06.760 You must be a witch. 0.99

00:00:08.920 Hello to the Missing Witches Coven. It's your Auntie Amy, and we are joined today by another coven of sorts. 0.80

00:00:16.180 It's a roundtable, so you're going to hear a bunch of voices today, but I'm going to start with someone you already know.

00:00:22.420 Having been on the show a couple times, one of our so-called patron saints of the Missing Witches project.

00:00:28.020 and by that I mean someone that we know that we can go to and just have our minds blown and have

00:00:34.400 complete faith in in you know your intellect and your values sorry this is turning into a bit more

00:00:40.080 of a blow job than I expected to but I'll take it that said I think we're all getting a little

00:00:46.380 bit lonely these days so the blow job of compliments will continue so I'm gonna hand it to 0.97

00:00:53.140 you, Whitefeather, to introduce yourself and to get the ball rolling.

00:00:58.020 Okay, thanks, Amy. I think probably the best place for me to start is to read what I sent

00:01:07.400 you, our little blurb. So we are four women battling COVID-19 from our homes in Montreal

00:01:19.260 and Gatineau, Quebec, and Cannes, France.

00:01:23.340 Did I pronounce that properly, Amélie?

00:01:25.440 This one is Cannes, but it's okay.

00:01:27.760 Cannes, okay.

00:01:29.180 Cannes, France.

00:01:30.940 We are artists and feminists bound together

00:01:34.600 through our shared experiences of embodying a disease

00:01:38.800 that has baffled the world.

00:01:42.320 And we were drawn together first through mutual acquaintances

00:01:46.420 in the art world.

00:01:47.260 And then we became more tightly bound by providing each other with essential support through constant presence, witchy knowledge, and unconventional care practices in response to medical communities that have just not been able to meet our needs.

00:02:07.940 so uh we are amelie deschamps hello becca blackwood salut krista muir hello did i pronounce

00:02:22.680 your name properly well if you go full scots it's uh muir but like anything from weird to

00:02:29.300 it's cool amazing i have to interrupt here one second as a little easter egg for the missing

00:02:35.380 which is listeners, Arisa and I actually met through Krista. And we've talked about you on

00:02:41.180 the podcast before, but it's so, we were just saying like super bizarre to have you on the

00:02:46.380 show in this context and this be the way to break the ice. But yeah, Arisa and I have known Krista

00:02:52.340 for, I don't know what, how long have I lived in Montreal? Krista, 18 years or something. I think

00:02:56.960 I've known you. Yeah, a very long time. Yeah, a very long time. And I didn't know that you

00:03:02.280 who'd encountered white feather who obviously i'm a big fan of um anyway so yeah it's cosmic

00:03:08.080 for the missing witches yeah we kind of we're full circle here here our full circle moment

00:03:14.540 so uh the four of us share an eerie similar

00:03:26.760 eerie clarity that are not talked about in mainstream media

00:03:30.120 yeah can you can you start that sentence then because you actually like ghosted out

00:03:35.280 word eerie i ghosted out on eerie okay i'm gonna leave that in okay okay so uh the four of us

00:03:45.720 share an eerie similarity um of atypical symptoms that are not often talked about in mainstream

00:03:53.000 media, such as pericarditis, and whole body neurological damage, along with all of the

00:04:01.280 complications surrounding these serious ailments caused by COVID-19. And one of the biggest

00:04:07.200 challenges that we faced has been fighting for our lives, literally fighting for our lives,

00:04:12.460 while being disbelieved and dismissed by doctors, family members, and sometimes humanity at large. 1.00

00:04:19.960 so as feminists um we know that this is already a pervasive problem for women who are navigating

00:04:27.940 the medical landscape um and so we've believed in each other uh and that's truly helped us survive

00:04:35.660 and work towards recovery from this disease and something else that we can talk about what's helped

00:04:42.520 us a great deal has been a really invaluable resource that's facilitated by a queer feminist

00:04:49.740 network in New York City called The Body Politic and their COVID-19 recovery support group.

00:04:58.540 So this group gained over 5,000 members. I don't know where they're at now.

00:05:03.660 They're at like 14,000, I think now.

00:05:06.040 Are you? Wow. Yeah. So, you know, just a couple of weeks ago, they were only at 5,000.

00:05:12.820 So they've exploded just through word of mouth, which is incredible. And

00:05:19.300 And these, the members of the support group includes medical professionals as well, who've been infected on the front lines. And so this support group has provided us with a wellspring of information, free resources, but most importantly, the kind of validation that has been missing that we've really needed.

00:05:41.380 So, you know, we're here to say that it has not escaped us that the most cutting-edge, respectful, and caring information about the disease has been made accessible through an intersectional queer feminist network.

00:05:58.700 yeah um so the whole thing has been dramatically life-altering for each one of us

00:06:10.700 uh and we hope that the four of us can continue to heal together um and also pave the way to help

00:06:19.240 others who get sick after us and we know that that's just an explosion happening in the u.s

00:06:24.240 right now in particular but also in montreal um yeah so we want to help uh others navigate the

00:06:33.440 failures of the health care systems globally and i mean amelie can talk a little bit about

00:06:39.080 what's happening in france as well um all while prioritizing mental health during these

00:06:46.040 unprecedented very scary times yeah um i think it was emily you sent this quote that i

00:06:53.680 want to read um from adrian rich and the quote that you sent is there there must be those among

00:07:01.780 whom we can sit down and weep and still be counted as warriors and i mean obviously that's particularly

00:07:09.920 but also in any given situation we talk a lot about vulnerability being strength and i think

00:07:18.260 it was back in May when the things started to pop off. A good friend of mine manages a grocery

00:07:24.340 store. So I brought her onto the show and she was also involved in a sort of support group

00:07:29.580 for people who are on the front lines and just was finding it so useful and so healthy for her.

00:07:37.360 So how did all of you make this coven? We agreed on the term coven. They're allowing me to use it

00:07:44.120 The COVID coven.

00:07:45.500 The COVID coven.

00:07:47.060 Yeah, the coven.

00:07:49.600 So how did this like formulate and formalize?

00:07:55.480 Started with Emily.

00:07:57.960 Then maybe I'll ask you, Emily, how did this formulate and formalize?

00:08:02.260 I was in the hospital.

00:08:04.200 It was, I think it was on the 9th of April.

00:08:08.280 Did you see that?

00:08:09.180 Or I don't know.

00:08:10.080 I don't remember actually.

00:08:11.560 Yeah, I can't remember the exact date.

00:08:13.420 But I know I was in the hospital and I was in the ER and waiting for my results and everything.

00:08:22.480 And I was scrolling on Facebook and I saw a white feather posting some stuff saying she was sick and had come back from Australia.

00:08:34.160 and she was like sort of listing a few um symptoms that were very similar were actually

00:08:41.260 just the same as i was experiencing and and i can't actually that's the thing i can't remember

00:08:50.300 precisely we all we all have short-term memory loss so there might be a lot of like

00:08:56.640 yeah this is one of the symptoms yeah yeah yeah brain like it's it's real uh so i remember but i 0.85

00:09:07.260 don't that uh she yeah she just something was like fuck i and then i just wrote to her like 0.89

00:09:13.980 we had never met i knew each other from uh an art center that i had worked in blah blah blah but 0.87

00:09:21.340 like never we never met and I wrote to her saying I was sorry to pop somehow in our life like

00:09:29.140 even if we didn't know each other and enter directly a very intimate subject but that I

00:09:35.060 thought her symptoms were very serious and that she should take it seriously and actually go to

00:09:44.140 the ER. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. And I had already been experiencing COVID symptoms in Australia.

00:09:56.380 That's where it started for me. And in Australia, they refused to test me. They're like, no,

00:10:03.340 go home. Don't come back unless you're gasping for breath. You know, even though my partner had

00:10:08.260 traveled through the Middle East and had just arrived back and we were both sick.

00:10:14.340 I guess there weren't enough tests at the time. This is sort of the classic story that's emerging.

00:10:20.260 So I had sort of gone through some symptoms from about March 12th until the end of March,

00:10:27.280 and my symptoms had seemed to subside. And around April 2nd, I got on a plane to come back to Canada

00:10:35.660 Because basically, the Australian government said, go home. So that's what I did. And once I was back in Canada, I guess about four days after I got back, all of my symptoms came back, but with a new set of symptoms. And I didn't really associate them necessarily with COVID. I didn't really know what I was dealing with.

00:10:58.620 and so when uh amelie said oh hey um i've got this going on i'm in the hospital right now

00:11:06.340 you need to take this seriously i was like oh shit um and you know in fact she may have saved

00:11:14.580 my life because uh within 12 hours of that i think you know i was in the hospital uh i was 0.64

00:11:23.900 taken by ambulance because i was having severe crushing chest pain numbness squeezing tingling

00:11:30.660 in my left arm um you know it felt like somebody was standing on my chest and mentioned i think

00:11:36.740 this is my chicken scratch note that i put down here pericarditis pericarditis what's that

00:11:43.580 i'm gonna assume that our listeners also have no idea what it's inflammation of your heart tissue

00:11:50.100 and a little like water around the heart it's an envelope around your heart that kind of fills a

00:11:54.300 little bit with water and gets inflamed kind of right I learned about it it's the protective sack

00:11:59.620 around your heart is the pericardium I think and then it's yeah yeah we all that was the common

00:12:04.620 thread medically between all of our stories and that yeah so I was diagnosed with pericarditis

00:12:10.800 shortly after Emily reached out to me and then another mutual acquaintance in the art world

00:12:19.760 uh saw that I had started posting about this experience um on Instagram and said oh hey you

00:12:29.260 need to talk to my friend Becca and and sent me her coordinates and I reached out to her

00:12:36.280 yeah you're in you're in Gatineau currently yeah yeah and I'm in Montreal and then and then when

00:12:46.240 white feather reached out to me i guess you were kind of the first person who i talked to

00:12:51.340 i had talked to a couple different people around the world through different friends

00:12:55.280 um but you had almost exactly the same symptoms as i had uh even down to like the the left arm

00:13:03.520 shooting pains at the left arm going straight into my heart um with i mean through the armpit

00:13:10.140 yeah right through the armpit up into the heart i couldn't even i mean i'm still having trouble

00:13:14.360 with my left arm so um but uh so and this at the time also i was i never associated it with covid

00:13:22.220 a lot because i at first i thought maybe it was something else because i had felt like i was

00:13:27.160 getting better and then about a bit over a month in i suddenly just completely crashed and it was

00:13:35.740 like my lungs were on fire and um i i couldn't actually stand up i was like doubled over and i

00:13:43.580 was having crazy numbness in my left arm and shooting pains and shooting pains in my esophagus

00:13:48.240 and in my head and all these things. And, uh, and so, you know, ended up in the hospital multiple

00:13:55.140 times, like five times, I think. And, um, and then, yeah, spoke to Whitefeather and she was

00:14:02.980 and our message thread was like, yeah, yeah. Immediately it was like me too, me too, me too.

00:14:09.100 and uh and then i i was like i i had just discovered body politic at that time and um

00:14:15.820 and so i said you know do you know about this thing and then and then you know which is what

00:14:20.600 i say to any any person who comes to me who's like i don't know what to do i'm like just join

00:14:24.920 this thing because that was the thing that made me stop going to the emergency room because

00:14:29.660 i just realized that there were so many thousands of us and that the emergency room doctors like i

00:14:36.320 needed to get to specialists which now i have and it was a fight to get but um the emergency room

00:14:42.060 doctors don't know what to do with you there's nowhere for them to put you and then you're every

00:14:46.880 time you go you're exposing yourself to more things and potential secondary infections so

00:14:52.700 it just um they really didn't have solutions other than slamming my body full of a lot of morphine

00:14:59.280 and uh anticoagulants and anti-inflammatories and that type of thing so it was steroids yeah

00:15:05.500 i actually never got steroids they refused to give me them because they were too scared that

00:15:09.740 it would put me over the edge and potentially kill me so i never received steroids and they still

00:15:14.920 are not sure if they'll ever give them to me because they're still doing tests and they're

00:15:19.760 still not willing to do them until i have more tests i'm still getting extensive testing so

00:15:23.700 um but it was because i was at a certain point where i was so bad that they thought if we put

00:15:30.040 if if you have any of the infection left in your system at this point and we give you even a low

00:15:35.160 steroid and that suppresses your immune system even a little bit you could die so we're not

00:15:38.940 going to take that chance so they said to me literally you just have to pretend that you're

00:15:42.920 being tortured and like meditate through it that was like what i got and i got a blood pressure

00:15:46.980 monitor and oximeter at home and i just had to monitor it hour by hour yeah i've seen a lot of

00:15:53.980 uh advice for chronic pain is like it's mostly just like distraction it's not even something

00:15:59.840 that's going to help with your actual pain but just like whatever you can do like lizzie i wanted

00:16:04.880 to punch a computer screen when you know the first time I read like listen to some music

00:16:10.620 okay I get it you know distraction is great but like yeah you can only be distracted yeah there

00:16:17.200 was no distraction from this unfortunately I wish I wish there could have been but there was no there

00:16:22.440 was no way it was a complete and full body experience of like I didn't really get I was

00:16:30.680 on at certain points, like four different types of anti-inflammatories. I was on, uh, you know,

00:16:36.120 three, uh, three drugs taking morphine plus three droppers of, of CBD and one of THC every three

00:16:44.280 hours. And that was like, just enough to keep me out of the hospital basically. Can we just say

00:16:50.440 how amazing CBD oil has been? Yeah. Can we just round of applause for CBD like right now?

00:16:56.380 thank you CBD to pick up that thread so then I connected uh Emily and Becca

00:17:07.100 and we became a group of three and shortly after that um another friend uh a choreographer I know

00:17:16.360 in Montreal said hey uh I've I've seen that you've been going through this stuff and I have a friend

00:17:23.540 who you know is on her own right now dealing with this and I'd really like to connect you and I was

00:17:28.720 like yes please so then um I got introduced to Krista and brought Krista into the fold

00:17:37.000 yeah yeah it was interesting so yeah it was a childhood friend actually and I had I kind of

00:17:43.360 briefly explained what I was going through and then it was interesting because another friend

00:17:47.460 from a different circle who was a visual artist he also said you should really contact White Feather

00:17:52.220 And at first I was a little bit shy. And again, like Amelie mentioned, like, do I just dive into something super, you know, bodily, personal? But at this point, I actually didn't really, I just gave her. And I was so happy that White Feather responded in such a positive and welcoming way.

00:18:10.220 way um because yeah again there's definitely a moment where your your desperation overpowers

00:18:18.120 your shame yeah oh yeah big time and and as emily said like she felt shy and potentially

00:18:25.500 saved white feathers life so let's have a shout out to like don't be shy like cat steven said

00:18:30.480 reach out to people so yeah please carry on so that was um that was what brought me in

00:18:39.100 And what was kind of interesting about the whole scenario for me was that I had had all of the classic COVID symptoms for the month of December, but they were not talking about it then.

00:18:50.600 And who knows if it was that, but I literally had all of them.

00:18:54.620 But then this was December, and then it subsided and faded away.

00:18:58.460 And I was on tour in March in Texas, and this all started bubbling to the surface.

00:19:03.080 I was like, I got to get back home.

00:19:04.680 and I got home and I had a similar pain that I had in my chest from back then. At that time,

00:19:11.640 they thought it was maybe pneumonia, but it was ruled out. And so I ignored this pain for weeks

00:19:15.880 thinking, oh, it's just whatever, residual thing, or maybe it's whatever it is. Until the palpitations

00:19:22.720 began and the squeeze in the chest. And then I went in and got this scan, a CT scan that revealed

00:19:28.760 that I had pericharditis, inflammation around my heart, which is not part of my family history.

00:19:33.160 I've never had a heart condition. And I'm like, and the doctor literally said, oh, usually you

00:19:37.140 get this when you're recovering from a virus. But they used to test me for COVID at that point

00:19:42.020 because I had no symptoms other than the heart condition. Wow. Yeah. Oh, it's just a random

00:19:47.820 virus during a global pandemic, right? It could be any other virus or it could be COVID. Anyway,

00:19:55.720 that was my, and so I was so happy to meet Whitefeather and Becca and Amelie because I had

00:20:00.600 literally zero confirmation or any even possibility from any of the doctors I talked to. So I went

00:20:06.840 home and I had zero medication. They would not prescribe me anything for either pain or

00:20:12.060 inflammation. And on a completely, I had nothing. I had extra strength Tylenol at night for the week

00:20:18.760 and a half. I thought I was going to die from the heart pain. And thankfully I was already on

00:20:24.020 supplements through a naturopath and they are some of the supplements that now everyone has,

00:20:29.020 we've all been talking about these yeah we all take the same one i was already on

00:20:33.080 which yeah yeah who knows but anyway this is in a nutshell yeah how it got brought in and how

00:20:39.720 interesting the the heart yeah we we all um well i know for me and becca for sure um emily not so

00:20:49.920 much krista not so much i guess but we were prescribed a grab bag of medications you know

00:20:58.320 I was prescribed about seven different medications, like narcotics, steroids, naproxen, which

00:21:10.980 is an anti-inflammatory that can basically kill your stomach, a stomach medication.

00:21:17.480 Pantoprazole?

00:21:18.300 Pantoprazole, which is death on wheels.

00:21:21.640 Yeah.

00:21:22.140 you know inhalers um other stomach medications you name it and the four of us together have sort of

00:21:33.560 been hashing out and and trying out and sharing with each other the most effective herbal remedies

00:21:40.780 that um you know we've used and have found good results with i mean cbd oil being the top but

00:21:49.240 you know and curcumin just from my anyways yeah it's like exactly i like can't function in the

00:21:54.940 daytime if i don't have curcumin yeah yeah i have a turmeric latte every morning instead of coffee

00:22:00.140 now which is delicious and thins my blood and kills the pain um you know so on any medication

00:22:10.740 they only gave me um tilanol and or paracetamol here because here in europe they early very early

00:22:18.840 said that they would not prescribe any anti-inflammatories because they said it was 0.98

00:22:27.380 worse so basically they just said go home and go through the shit with the you know like 0.97

00:22:35.920 paracetamol and at some point I got opium and then I got the colchicine didn't you get colchicine 0.97

00:22:43.140 at some point but you didn't take it that that was like pretty recent that was like maybe three

00:22:48.460 weeks ago okay i didn't take it yeah no i took the curcuma so i for my part i never took anything

00:22:55.980 but morphine yeah and uh and opium a little bit but yeah and again that that's not a cure it's

00:23:05.080 like a distraction yeah yeah it basically numbs it keeps you out of the hospital basically

00:23:10.300 yeah like it was just like oh i can somehow like rest for two hours before yeah the pain comes back

00:23:20.780 like kicking yeah yeah yeah anything else and there is no position yeah there is like for me

00:23:28.340 it was not someone sitting on my chest it was really like a donkey like a donkey

00:23:32.940 large large mammal yeah and and all over the ribs like the oh god the ribs yeah

00:23:42.640 yeah so how had a break never had a break how are all of you dealing with the information

00:23:52.000 misinformation trying to figure out what's what that i mean as someone who doesn't actually

00:23:57.300 knock wood i guess i you know i haven't been tested so i'm hiding in the woods this whole

00:24:02.400 time so hopefully again knock wood let the fairies out um the the most difficult part for me is is 1.00

00:24:09.960 trying to wade through these like and of course we we live in a time where the internet anybody who 1.00

00:24:15.780 has a computer connection can be like writing articles i'm using square scare quotes for

00:24:21.180 everybody who's listening anybody can say whatever they want and so again like i'm super grateful to

00:24:27.700 have had white feather uh being so candid about your experience because again like i i trust not

00:24:33.980 only your values but like your scientific mind you know the side that you respect the scientific

00:24:38.660 method very least or method methodology of some kind so how have you all been rooting through all

00:24:46.440 of the information collectively together um you know that's really important but um

00:24:55.720 yeah and you're very lucky to be a witch in the woods i have to say because

00:25:01.740 you know each one of us contracted this through travel yeah you know we we were all somewhere we

00:25:09.300 had to travel and uh as a result sort of yeah were floored by it yeah um and we all contracted

00:25:20.820 it right around the same time although krista you you were a little bit earlier but right around the

00:25:27.520 time just before the lockdown happened you know so in a way what we've been experiencing together

00:25:36.540 is that we've been compiling and sorting through information

00:25:40.700 and coming up with our own answers before they hit the mainstream.

00:25:45.540 Yeah, I would say like a lot of what's been helping us

00:25:49.540 and me kind of get through this information

00:25:51.720 is the fact that like being inside these groups,

00:25:54.180 people are sharing the latest scientific studies,

00:25:56.800 people are sharing the latest herbal remedies,

00:25:59.800 or they're saying like, my doctor gave me this,

00:26:02.160 or my osteopath told me this, ask for this test.

00:26:04.800 um certain things like I you know I there was a guy in the group who was talking about how he

00:26:10.680 tested negative multiple times and he he knew that it was in his spine like he was in so much pain

00:26:16.580 and he begged his doctor to do a spinal tap and he did a then the doctor did a spinal tap and they

00:26:23.060 found COVID-19 in his spine um and you know and then that was something that like I had been

00:26:30.480 considering asking my neurologist for a spinal tap um and even though i had a positive test i just

00:26:35.760 i felt like it was more in my nervous system and i still have no taste and smell so i was really

00:26:40.400 wanting to know a little bit more about that and he said and and and i think that's also part of

00:26:46.820 like the expanding of testing like and people's people who um you know have done stool tests like

00:26:53.520 they're just starting to do stool tests and finding it and all those people are testing negative and

00:26:57.340 we're kind of hearing that in the groups earlier before that's even hitting the mainstream news

00:27:01.520 and and uh also we can we I feel like we've educated ourselves so much scientifically that 0.98

00:27:08.680 we can call bullshit on something almost immediately we're like no that's bullshit

00:27:12.600 that's the t-cells or that's this or that and uh you know it's kind of like we really are I feel 0.99

00:27:18.920 like because we're I mean I'm spending hours a day reading this stuff because I'm I'm feeding

00:27:23.260 it to my doctors and i'm like i now have because i've been speaking out about it i have and i'm

00:27:28.160 sure it's the same with you white feather and and krista maybe you too but because i've been

00:27:32.780 speaking about it publicly because i want people to know how awful it was and i want them to take

00:27:37.560 precautions now all these people are starting to reach out to me being like i'm really sick i have

00:27:42.720 this and that and it's all through friends so i'm getting like 15 20 messages a day from people all

00:27:47.060 over the world that i'm like i'm like okay well what about this have you taken this what's your

00:27:51.060 vitamin levels what's your yeah it's like i'm not i'm not like telling people what to do i'm saying

00:27:54.640 this is what helped me like electrolytes curcumin um eating bananas you're gonna pee out all your

00:27:59.700 potassium like bromelain bromelain yeah yeah bromelain queen over queen over there yeah

00:28:07.980 yeah that's actually strange because every time i take bromelain i don't feel i don't have a good

00:28:13.580 day really that's so interesting i took it like four times and nah not i wonder why everybody's

00:28:23.420 different yeah yeah everybody think zinc i i took zinc for like the for two months every day

00:28:31.100 then i had a break and then i bought some like very efficient uh i don't know what it's called

00:28:37.760 like a liquid that you put under your tongue.

00:28:41.540 And every time I have to puke twice.

00:28:44.920 Oh, me too.

00:28:45.980 That zinc happens to me too.

00:28:47.200 And I have to,

00:28:47.740 I have to take away smaller amounts like the,

00:28:49.980 of the spray stuff because it makes me vomit.

00:28:52.440 I don't know what that is.

00:28:54.740 We're just like getting totally into it.

00:28:56.440 This is,

00:28:57.520 we're in public.

00:28:58.660 It gives me zits.

00:29:02.760 Zinc gives me zits.

00:29:04.480 So, you know,

00:29:04.980 oh you look you look worse and you feel worse oh my god but the thing that's interesting about all

00:29:11.720 this is that since i don't know exactly when we all four ended up in the same thread at this point

00:29:15.860 because i can't remember exactly what day that was but since then i think we've spoken every

00:29:19.820 single day multiple times a day our thread has been all day every day someone wakes up in the

00:29:25.340 middle of the night has a weird thing going on their heart rate shoots up someone's blood pressure

00:29:29.560 is low and it's like hour by hour even like relationship stuff we're just like whatever

00:29:35.760 going through the motions we're like we're there and it's like it is it is a true coven I think

00:29:41.040 yeah including sharing information about the latest and greatest uh vibrator which I still

00:29:47.920 have to get one but anyway yeah yeah my supplements took precedence I have a bit of a budget so the

00:29:58.000 supplements were first and then the vibrator comes later so yeah yeah because if you don't 0.85

00:30:03.020 even have the energy to masturbate then what's exactly your heart is racing even before you do 0.64

00:30:08.680 it then yeah yeah exactly yeah obviously like you've all kept your sense of humor 0.70

00:30:16.600 how do you manage it's a coping skill oh yeah it comes and goes yeah that's true

00:30:22.580 okay so let's talk about like i would say that maybe 2020 has been like my angriest year

00:30:30.720 since i'm like 15 years old you know um so

00:30:36.080 how do you teach people that they should care about other people

00:30:42.400 oh god wow honestly i'm not able to cope with that actually i'm still like 0.96

00:30:51.520 because my brain is so i don't know how to say i mean i feel extremely stupid like i feel dumb

00:31:02.560 like i mean it's getting better but it's i it's very hard for me to uh articulate 0.55

00:31:10.040 uh thoughts yeah yeah we all have neurological dysfunction big time for some reason i don't

00:31:20.760 I don't know why, because I don't have it in January or you had it in December.

00:31:29.300 Yeah. Yeah. That's the one thing for me that I feel that I haven't had this about similar

00:31:35.320 experience. I've been following the threads of all three women about the neurological elements.

00:31:41.560 Yeah. And I've been finding it very, I mean, I live alone and I've been alone and I am so thankful 0.91

00:31:47.720 that I don't have that particular set because I think alone with neurological issues from what

00:31:52.600 I've heard through their experiences I it would be extremely hard to keep going day to day and

00:31:58.620 my my mechanism coping mechanism alone as a single person living alone in an apartment

00:32:03.340 in a scary city where people aren't really very respectful outside I've been making masks since

00:32:09.460 this began at the end of March I've been sewing masks I've masked over 250 people from Canada

00:32:14.400 us france amelie i've said something and and vecka and i haven't to white feather yet because

00:32:20.920 you have we need to do a trade but we should do a trade but to me i've been putting in my good

00:32:25.580 energy and what i consider my magic powers into these masks and i've been masking people uh to

00:32:31.840 for health purposes and spiritual purposes and that's become a daily practice for me so

00:32:37.880 that's one of the things if if some let's say one or two of our listeners out there are still

00:32:43.840 i'm going to use the l word too lazy or um have come up with some other reason um can you just 0.98

00:32:52.540 give me like the one two punch that's going to shake them out of whatever the fuck this is that 0.92

00:32:57.020 they're not thinking or thinking yeah i'm angry i said about wearing a mask wearing oh masks 0.98

00:33:03.660 you're talking about mask holes mask holes you're talking about mask holes and mask bashing yeah i

00:33:10.860 think most of us have experienced yeah i'm happy to take your emails listeners if you do have a

00:33:16.640 problem with this i'm not sure um how you rationalize that maybe you can email me and

00:33:23.000 try to explain to me how you rationalize um i just had not caring about other people but yeah

00:33:29.200 emily go ahead i just had a talk uh earlier tonight with because it's evening here uh with

00:33:35.380 The father of my daughter, with whom I'm not living anymore.

00:33:40.240 And he posted yesterday or maybe the day before.

00:33:44.560 I don't remember.

00:33:48.720 I think it was two days ago.

00:33:52.220 Time doesn't exist.

00:33:53.580 Time doesn't exist.

00:33:54.420 We don't have to worry about it.

00:33:57.300 Yeah, about, well, how, you know, how wearing masks was a manipulation. 0.98

00:34:03.480 it was useless because i mean he's a really clever guy and i've just been like what the fuck like

00:34:11.400 he's been like supportive with our daughter she's nine i was not able at all to see her for five 0.86

00:34:18.180 weeks and then i could only see her for like two hours every uh second or third day for like

00:34:27.360 another more than a month so i mean like you know he was like in the in the ship with me

00:34:34.520 somehow without being here and then yeah just like two days ago na na na wearing mask and i was like 0.99

00:34:41.520 what the fuck i mean iris still inside of me i know he's not like an asshole so i'm just like 0.99

00:34:48.640 trying to understand what the fuck is going on like why are you spreading this stupid thing and 1.00

00:34:54.380 why are you actually why am i finding out that he's going to the grocery store with our daughter 1.00

00:34:59.600 without masks wow oh my god what the fuck oh man and last week he was sick for 10 days 0.99

00:35:08.600 coughing and and sleeping a lot and he didn't go to the doctor and he didn't get tested 0.99

00:35:15.500 and i had to you know like get the story through my daughter and then like write to him in the

00:35:24.360 and and my answer is that i think the he's still in in some sort of like denial yeah

00:35:32.740 and and so i would tell people what to answer your question i would say that i remember i would say

00:35:41.340 that uh i was very healthy i was like uh sporty i think we can all say that yeah it was our

00:35:50.620 health situation I never had any uh heart issues like never nothing the only thing that happened

00:35:58.180 to me I broke my back you know once I broke a vertebra but other than that I never had any

00:36:04.520 health issues at all so maybe just like hear that because that's not what you maybe that's like one

00:36:11.720 of the things you should put your nose into rather into the mask debate if there is any

00:36:17.960 like try to look why is nobody or very few people talking about the actual reality of this disease

00:36:28.120 yeah you know aside from people dying or just the flu yeah that's that's the takeaway for sure

00:36:35.900 and i think you know with with the internet you always have very polarized black and white

00:36:42.480 conversations um or micro conversations i guess happening and no one actually understands the

00:36:49.860 more nuanced reality of the situation no matter what the situation is on the internet but especially

00:36:55.500 with this situation and you know i've had to disown family members who are actually taking 1.00

00:37:02.480 the time to produce youtube videos where they're talking about how people who wear masks are stupid 0.99

00:37:09.000 and I'm thinking try on COVID you fucking try it on yeah and then talk to me about you know not 0.99

00:37:16.600 wearing a mask yeah and I think you know we all are um very committed to protecting the public now 0.98

00:37:24.860 because you know so much so little is known about this disease that we don't even know if

00:37:30.900 we're still infectious or not you know I mean we don't think we are but you know it's like four

00:37:37.260 months later. We don't think we are, but nobody actually knows. And I, I, like Emily mentioned,

00:37:45.360 I was at peak health before I got infected with COVID. I was cycling marathons. Yeah. I was

00:37:53.460 cycling 200 kilometers a week, you know, like that's, that's athletic. And now, I mean,

00:38:01.380 I can take a walk along the river. I I'm, I'm not really back on my bike. My coordination is

00:38:09.420 completely fucked up because of the neurological issues. I've fallen off my bike twice since 0.99

00:38:14.540 getting sick with COVID. You know, the last time I fell off my bike was in grade six. So

00:38:19.780 I'm still, I mean, it's, it's a multi-systemic mess in your body. And do you really want to

00:38:29.780 take that risk. Yeah. Yeah. I think, I think a lot of people don't understand like this massive

00:38:35.980 gray area between like asymptomatic and dead. And even, even, even, even now they're talking about

00:38:43.480 like asymptomatic people are having damage, like lung damage. And, and they're, they're finding

00:38:48.360 all this stuff, even on people who don't feel anything. But what you, what you don't realize,

00:38:55.320 you might think that you get, we'll get over it, but they're saying right now, and this is like

00:38:58.320 a very conservative estimate, which is like that one in 10 people, uh, will suffer long-term

00:39:03.380 symptoms and that are neurological cardiac, like cardiac, um, and, you know, obviously pulmonary.

00:39:11.900 Um, and with all of those things, they don't actually have any treatment for it. So even

00:39:17.340 when you get to the specialist, they're like, yeah, we know, but we don't really know what to 0.55

00:39:23.340 do we don't really have a treatment so i have right now and i think like i know that like white

00:39:30.260 father you have and every like we all have a lot of doctors i have right now neurologist

00:39:35.380 pulmonologist ear nose throat rhinologist infectious disease specialist like cardiologists

00:39:41.740 like multiple cardiologists rheumatologists um on top of like two doctors and you know a swath of

00:39:48.420 other random people that have helped me along the way and they all kind of don't really know what to

00:39:56.080 do with us at all and the only people that have really helped have been acupuncturists um osteopaths

00:40:04.320 like people who actually like but we weren't we didn't even have access to them until like

00:40:08.240 a month ago or less like a few weeks ago because we were like you know we got the plague and no

00:40:14.620 wanted to let us in anywhere so you know then now that we're allowed back in and they're able to

00:40:20.420 treat us like that's the most relief that i've had with my heart and with everything but i mean

00:40:26.240 the neurological stuff is real i have internal tremors i have trouble with my left arm i'm

00:40:31.240 having trouble with nerve shooting pain in my body um on top of the brain fog on top of like

00:40:38.340 all these other things dysautonomia dysautonomia and this is this is like another thing about this

00:40:43.820 these groups that's been pretty amazing is that I have some people in there that are like in my

00:40:48.660 dms that are like scientists and really working high up at world health organization working

00:40:53.420 groups and all these different places that are like really on the like the front lines pushing

00:40:58.360 these studies and so like I can actually kind of message them and say like um what about this so

00:41:03.060 what about that and they've actually given me a lot more information than my own doctors like

00:41:06.580 you know the guy from the working group in New York uh David Petrino who's amazing and he's at

00:41:11.380 Mount Sinai, he, he said to me, well, you know, your, your taste and smell hasn't come back yet.

00:41:17.280 And, uh, it, it could take a really long time because you're the, the nerves when they get

00:41:22.280 severely damaged and your olfactory bulb, it grows at six millimeters or sorry, it was one

00:41:27.740 millimeter, uh, per week. Yeah. So it's, it's such a small amount. And you can feel them regrowing.

00:41:35.300 Yeah. It's just, or it's like, it's like one or six. I can't remember, but it's, I can't remember.

00:41:38.860 um but it is like a small amount per week where which it's which it's growing and so I'm kind of

00:41:45.040 just they say the longer that it goes the less like it's going to come back I'm just crossing

00:41:49.040 my fingers and I'm also part of like I know that you all have your taste and smell mostly right

00:41:54.940 back uh except I've been having I've been having phantasmia oh really phantasmia for the last

00:42:02.820 couple of weeks yeah because I have that too and I'm on the all these groups on Facebook and

00:42:07.460 there's so many people who also were sick in march and still don't have it and i think also

00:42:13.020 people don't understand that there's a lot of us so yeah i think it's such a spectrum that's part

00:42:19.600 of what's so difficult and i think yeah it's because um we haven't had the en masse personal

00:42:26.160 stories like ours in the public i every time i read one i really appreciate it like an actual

00:42:31.720 person talking about their long-term experience. And I think that's going to help, help a lot with

00:42:38.260 what's going on and people being in denial. Because once you start hearing more and more

00:42:42.820 actual people on the street of various ages talking about what actually happens, i.e. they're

00:42:47.100 not asymptomatic or dead, then I think hopefully that will help. But for me, right when I heard

00:42:54.200 about it, I was like brought back to like childhood trauma of like having an asthma attack so severe,

00:42:59.140 i was in an air bubble and when i heard about what had happened to a couple people including

00:43:03.460 one person in montreal who was in peak health and is in his 20s and was in the hospital and almost

00:43:07.640 died yeah that immediately i i treated it as if i had it and i didn't want it to give to anyone

00:43:14.320 and i know masks and that to me that's i was hoping more people would be in that mindset um

00:43:20.440 but yeah yeah yeah for the mask i just want to add quickly that uh it's not necessarily that i

00:43:29.440 believe that the mask is working like a super shield i just think it's a sign of or like a

00:43:35.560 reminder like i want to keep my distance na na na na na you know it's like a it's just like a sort

00:43:41.600 of like a symbol yeah okay all the arguments i hear them like they're saying like a virus is

00:43:49.720 actually going through the mask and you need the the pores to be that tight okay fine but still

00:43:57.520 it's I mean and also like it you can't come with like um you know like uh saying things like that

00:44:06.700 when you live in a in a small place with a density of population that is quite like you know low 0.93

00:44:12.820 and then compared to fucking Europe because what I mean by that is that the father of my daughter 0.99

00:44:18.620 was like giving me an example of a canadian scientist and i'm like what the fuck like 1.00

00:44:23.980 you know here we everybody is kissing each other like to just to say oh god oh my god 0.97

00:44:29.800 no i mean not with the tongue you know but but yeah what's that i haven't even hugged someone

00:44:38.460 in four months i don't even i don't even kiss my partner oh my god

00:44:44.280 really they're not doing it here but but i've seen people doing it i mean

00:44:51.700 wearing a mask is just a sign of a solidarity your distances yeah do you do either of you get like

00:45:05.300 slightly triggered when you go outside or you're in a space and there's a lot of people around

00:45:08.680 not masking and not physical distancing and like I like actually like oh I get triggered anxiety

00:45:14.500 yeah absolutely yeah and I think maybe this is a good point to talk about the trauma that goes

00:45:20.540 along with having this disease because yeah we are all left with PTSD you know we we all had

00:45:28.560 points in our illness where many nights passed where we were afraid to go to sleep at night

00:45:35.720 because we didn't know if we were going to wake up in the morning.

00:45:38.000 And that's a true story, you know.

00:45:41.000 I mean, my partner used to wake up in the middle of the night

00:45:44.260 and check to see if I was still breathing.

00:45:46.860 Yeah.

00:45:48.540 You know, so to go out into public and to see all of these people

00:45:55.040 carrying on as if there's no pandemic, you know, not wearing a mask,

00:46:00.680 not social distancing, coming at you the wrong way down the aisles

00:46:03.780 in the grocery store. You know, my response is to get violent. Like, I feel violent when I see

00:46:11.180 people threatening me in that way. You know, it's like fight or flight response. And for a long time,

00:46:19.840 I was having panic attacks and in anxiety mode. And in that flight response, you know, at the

00:46:26.180 height of my COVID symptoms, now I'm in fight mode. And not only do I want to fight for people

00:46:32.660 to recognize that this is a serious thing it doesn't matter who the fuck you are you can get 0.99

00:46:37.640 it and stay the hell out of my space you know like i've yelled at people in the grocery store 0.99

00:46:43.220 you're going the wrong way you know when they're coming at me down the aisle because 0.85

00:46:47.760 yeah it's threatening and i am traumatized yeah i would be the same as you but i don't even have

00:46:54.780 the strengths for that yeah i mostly don't usually have the energy for that either i can't like it's

00:47:00.020 i don't want to but i feel like yeah like it's draining and it's draining me and i could like

00:47:06.360 probably just like fall asleep if it has like i don't know no but like yeah no but like yeah

00:47:15.360 you know it's it's that it's that serious that you even if you see like for me even if i see

00:47:22.360 something like that i'm like i'm choosing which is totally not my nature but to just like

00:47:29.560 fall back on myself just like shutting down yeah yeah i i called out a grocery store worker the

00:47:36.780 other day when i went to get some stuff and he wasn't wearing a mask and i was in a mood and i

00:47:43.680 was like i was like uh you know you should probably wear a mask you're going to be in

00:47:48.860 you're gonna be in contact with a lot of people and uh you know I had coronavirus and it was

00:47:52.960 and he just looked at me like what like so shocked yeah um and I was like yeah it was like a nightmare

00:47:59.400 and I you know like I told him like I've always and he just kind of was silent and was like almost

00:48:03.760 humiliated fumbling like well I have it in my pocket I just put it on and I'm like yeah it's

00:48:07.080 not it's not a joke like um and yeah and in Montreal it's weird right now uh because there's

00:48:14.460 a lot of people gathering inside in closed spaces in restaurants bars i can't believe it bars and

00:48:22.540 it's like they're opening they're opening you know office buildings to 25 capacity yet they're

00:48:29.800 opening bars with more capacity which doesn't make any sense people are really good at like

00:48:36.200 following rules and social distancing yeah yeah exactly so i don't really know what the answer is

00:48:42.900 But I know that society is not designed to deal with this type of pandemic and that I think everything is just going to have to be completely redesigned.

00:48:51.180 Society has to be completely redesigned because I don't think it's going away anytime soon, especially with the way that the governments are not actually following the science of what it is, which is an airborne disease.

00:49:05.660 So, yeah.

00:49:08.620 Yeah, there's, again, there's, oh, sorry.

00:49:10.720 Go ahead, Amy.

00:49:11.140 I just, I wanted to mention that, you know, the pros and cons of living in the woods, one of the cons is that, like, I live in rural Quebec, which is certainly not the most progressive place in the world. And it's an aging population here in my small town. And my spouse is getting, like, literally, the asshole with the mask. Oh, isn't that a bit excessive?

00:49:31.460 Really?

00:49:32.020 Oh, yeah. Like, it's like...

00:49:34.080 I get it in Gatineau as well.

00:49:37.400 If I go into a grocery store with a mask on,

00:49:39.740 I actually had one man look at me and say,

00:49:42.200 le COVID, c'est fini.

00:49:44.160 Oh, God.

00:49:45.240 Yeah, COVID is finished.

00:49:46.920 What?

00:49:47.600 Wow.

00:49:48.260 Oh, yeah, I had someone say that.

00:49:49.540 And also, I had, in a small town, too,

00:49:51.660 I went in and I had, like,

00:49:52.880 a little thing of sanitizer and a mask on.

00:49:54.840 And I had, I think I was touching,

00:49:56.900 I was getting a bunch of things

00:49:58.000 and I just grabbed a glove from the car,

00:49:59.960 like a plastic, and she's like, you know.

00:50:01.660 C'est bien préparé, là.

00:50:03.020 you're yes yes i am i'm very very prepared and uh you've heard of the plague right

00:50:11.460 yeah and you're you're welcome yeah you're part of the plague

00:50:15.740 yeah yeah so chris got it amongst my friends even like your friends

00:50:25.400 you know like and i it's it's pretty puzzling because i don't like to sort of like uh you know

00:50:34.020 these people and just say they are stupid so no but like i'm i'm trying like i it hurts me to just 0.66

00:50:43.040 say that so i'm just like there must be something inside you know like and and actually they are 0.99

00:50:49.940 trying i again like my only or like perpetual answer to this is just like they're just trying 0.95

00:50:58.960 to reassure themselves yeah it's just cognitive dissonance it's like fucking like traumatizing 0.95

00:51:04.320 and i know i mean i know it's horrible i mean you've been also like shit scared is not even 0.98

00:51:10.940 the word that could describe how we yeah i've never been so scared in my life i've never

00:51:16.680 experienced that much terror in my life repetitively too like yeah I think one

00:51:22.940 people are trying to just like sort of like reassure like yeah but now it's over like you

00:51:29.600 know like people are coming to see me and and and just telling me yeah but now you know it's behind 0.62

00:51:37.100 you you have to get over it what the fuck do you know like in the middle of the night when I wake 0.54

00:51:42.880 and actually my right eye can't open on its own yeah and this is happened the past two weeks now 0.99

00:51:50.980 i have to go for a fucking mri of the optic nerve you know like yeah yeah am i supposed to chill 0.57

00:51:58.160 yeah well i think one of the interesting things that was in the thread the other day 0.98

00:52:03.480 was both white feather and emily saying that this was much worse than childbirth

00:52:09.080 and also uh emily breaking her back pleasure yeah and i i read something recently uh you

00:52:18.720 you can maybe back me up or not but that um menstrual cramps are like equivalent pain to

00:52:24.120 heart attacks in some cases and i think that this goes down to what you're saying in white 0.98

00:52:28.840 feather at the beginning of the conversation now like it's a feminist issue that yeah women

00:52:33.780 especially are just told to ignore their pain or that it's normal i literally was told by a male

00:52:40.700 doctor to stop paying attention to my symptoms because it was all just caused by anxiety yeah

00:52:47.920 i i got told that it was anxiety when i was in the hospital for like the fifth time or he said

00:52:53.340 you seem really anxious and i said yeah uh i feel like i'm having a heart attack and i can't breathe

00:52:58.140 so it's causing me some anxiety right now yeah um and you know it there's it didn't really do much

00:53:05.480 but he also just wrote covid covid resolved in my file at that point and i was i was uh in a lot of

00:53:13.580 pain from pericarditis and from a lot of other things and so that's another thing that i think

00:53:17.560 is something to talk about the fact that they're calling all these files resolved when all these

00:53:23.220 people are still chronically ill yeah like resolved is like not dead and probably not yeah

00:53:28.960 yeah yeah in our in our arms in this moment yeah resolved yeah literally means that we are not

00:53:37.820 uh contagious after two weeks that's what for me that's what it means as far as they know

00:53:43.000 yeah for me it just means that we're not dead exactly yeah when this all began i told myself

00:53:50.960 that it was probably anxiety for three weeks you know that's how well you know I feel like I've

00:53:55.940 been trained in this culture to like kind of deny myself what's going on until it became

00:54:01.680 so physically evident that it wasn't just anxiety and then it was almost like a triumph when I had

00:54:08.140 the CT scan done and it was something literal on an you know they could look at it and see there

00:54:13.400 it is there it is yeah it's like this whole process has just retaught me that I have to

00:54:19.320 listen to my intuition and use a combined effort of like what medical science there is out there

00:54:26.040 kind of the spiritual element and my own gut you know feeling so krista and in all the years that

00:54:33.120 i've known you which has been many i know that you contend with everything that happens in your

00:54:37.960 life with by writing songs about it have you written your your covid song yet or how many

00:54:42.820 i haven't written the covid opus yet no but i was thinking a lot about sending i haven't sent the

00:54:48.100 of the coven, the girl possessed song, but I thought that would be a pretty fun one because

00:54:54.260 yeah, we were talking about the menstrual cramps being anyway, equivalent of a heart attack. And I

00:55:00.540 did have, well, I had endometriosis and I've had three surgeries for that. And I have had,

00:55:05.760 I did have one moment where I ended up at the ER and I thought it must be something like an ulcer

00:55:12.520 or something super extreme or something that ruptured. And, and basically it was an extreme

00:55:17.120 cramping period from endometriosis that was mimicking what I was told after is like

00:55:21.880 contractions from birthing contractions. I was sweaty, yellow, and I blacked out at my first

00:55:27.780 day on the job in Toronto. And anyway, in the ER, the doctor said to me, oh, this is perfectly

00:55:32.020 normal. Like most women get this when they get their periods. I'm just going to write you a 0.99

00:55:35.660 prescription for these muscle relaxants. And I'm thinking, what? How all women are going through

00:55:41.240 this every month? I was like, oh my God. And then, yeah, that became part of the Girl Possessed 1.00

00:55:49.360 song as well. It came back years later. But anyways, I was asking you if you'd written the

00:55:58.540 COVID opus yet. I know there's got to be an EP coming out. There's a lot of angsty songs right

00:56:05.220 now. One of them was Hot Stink that I wrote two days ago when I biked somewhere to get some stuff

00:56:10.440 to make masks and i was punched in the face with the compost smell of montreal which is wow for

00:56:15.920 anyone that lives in the city it has it's been so hot lately i haven't been able to smell it so

00:56:20.920 silver lining yeah i'm waiting i'm waking up in the middle of the night smelling foul smells so

00:56:28.520 that's right maybe i'll write a smell anti-smell smell yeah are you smelling white feather are you

00:56:34.080 smelling uh smoke at all yes yeah okay yeah i'm smelling uh i wake up in the middle of night

00:56:42.060 smelling burning plastic um toast um baking bread once yeah and also like burning rusty metal like

00:56:54.520 as if a cast iron pan is on fire yeah for me it was well go ahead what were you saying no i was

00:57:00.640 just gonna say like waking up with no smell i feel like is less terrifying than waking up to

00:57:05.820 burning smell my house is on fire my house is on fire yeah yeah it's just terrified on your behalf

00:57:13.560 please yeah no i was just gonna say for me like it was it was categorically nothing for a really

00:57:18.420 long time uh and in which case and and during that time i burned many things on the stove i

00:57:24.720 I almost ate a couple things that were rotten because I just literally couldn't tell.

00:57:30.440 Boiled milk?

00:57:31.460 Like that's when we opened the carton?

00:57:33.040 No, I have to get my carton to smell every single thing that I consume because I have no.

00:57:38.260 But then I guess maybe a month and a half ago, I started getting, everything started smelling or tasting like smoke.

00:57:45.220 So when I inhaled it, it would smell like smoke.

00:57:48.440 But if I ate a burrito, it would taste like smoke.

00:57:51.280 um so it was anything that I would consume an orange juice it tastes like smoke um and then

00:57:57.800 now it's kind of then there was then there was like a few days where everything tasted like

00:58:02.140 garbage or like like like the most disgusting foul like my food I put in my mouth and I'm like

00:58:08.480 oh like it's so disgusting yeah and for me it tasted like tinfoil yeah for me it wasn't tinfoil

00:58:15.880 but it was just like gross like it was maybe like as if I was eating compost like that type like the

00:58:21.700 gross rotten smell um and taste and so that happened and then that went away and it went

00:58:27.480 back to nothing and then and then it went back to the smoke and then it went back to the kind of

00:58:32.080 garbagey whatever and now I'm kind of in a weird middle ground where I don't really have it so I

00:58:40.320 I don't I don't know like at first I thought okay well because it's evolving maybe it's just

00:58:46.020 the regeneration and it's you know but who knows I mean some people have phantasmia and anosmia

00:58:52.140 and it lasts forever and other times it heals so I'm just hoping that my nerves were severely

00:58:57.740 damaged and they're just slowly it's just taking a long time to grow back yeah I can tell that my

00:59:02.700 nerves are growing back because uh for about 24 hours I had these weird pinprick feelings all over

00:59:08.960 my body, like arms, legs, feet, hands, which is a sign that nerves are regenerating, hopefully.

00:59:19.200 One interesting thing, which I don't know if we've talked about in the thread, is with

00:59:25.680 all the pains that we've been getting, is endothelial, this is maybe too nerdy for this

00:59:31.440 one, but you know, it's a blood vessel disease, and they're saying that, I read somewhere

00:59:36.540 the other day that it takes four months for a complete regeneration of the endothelial

00:59:41.280 cells oh interesting and so I was wondering I'm like interesting because I do feel like I've

00:59:46.600 turned a corner in the past like week and a half in a different way because there was a certain

00:59:51.860 point there was a while where it felt like I had like acid going through my veins under my heart

00:59:57.280 yeah and and that feeling I haven't had in in maybe a couple weeks and I was just I then I

01:00:03.560 heard about the regenerating of that and how it takes four months and I was like interesting I

01:00:06.860 wonder anyways it's a thought yeah I'm still having the internal vibrations like these

01:00:13.040 deep core tremors yeah me too but I've noticed that in about the past week

01:00:22.320 it's barely noticeable now so that's good it's definitely starting to go away

01:00:27.720 yeah but we're still seeing new cases all over the place i mean have you dealt a lot maybe

01:00:35.640 through the body positive with um people who are living in the states and contending with this

01:00:40.500 without uh socialized medicine can you i know none of us are american um but can any of you

01:00:48.280 speak to the experience of your friends or your peers and colleagues who are navigating a

01:00:53.860 completely different health care system uh anyone in the states that has it that i've spoken to

01:01:00.200 sorry white feather go ahead yeah um for a lot of people uh it's a huge economic concern and that's

01:01:07.360 something that's also not talked about with covid and having this disease and it's something i think

01:01:12.480 needs to be talked about more because people i mean especially people like us artists um

01:01:19.120 you know we're in an economically precarious position uh thankfully in canada we have access 0.52

01:01:27.360 to free health care otherwise we would be completely fucked yeah and i think that that's

01:01:32.540 what you're seeing with a lot of people in the u.s right now i mean some people can't even afford to 0.83

01:01:38.780 see a specialist you know like i've seen a neurologist i've i've you know we've seen

01:01:44.440 specialists and it's it's not out of pocket for us but um that's what they're struggling with in

01:01:50.440 the u.s you know like people are coming out of hospitals with million dollar medical bills if

01:01:55.160 they've been on a ventilator for any you know amount of time and i think you know for a lot

01:02:01.120 of people like the anti-masks anti-maskers who we were talking about i think we need to put things

01:02:06.600 in economic terms for people like you are looking at a debilitating disease that's going to put you 0.96

01:02:11.980 on your ass for a minimum of four months where you can't work you know what does that look like 0.95

01:02:17.720 economically what what else i mean you know assuming you survive um which not everybody does 1.00

01:02:24.760 uh what's what's your reality going to look like when you have no income for four months like

01:02:30.380 you know so in the u.s this is this is a big problem that i'm seeing yeah which which also

01:02:36.700 brings it back to why uh negative tests uh need to be like basically they need to be presumed

01:02:45.860 positive um if people have the symptoms because 66 percent of people who will who are positive

01:02:52.600 will test negative uh on the 21st day of their infection which means there is and usually the

01:02:59.300 way that it works which from what i've seen is that people have a if they don't die within the

01:03:03.840 first couple weeks they have a pretty rough few weeks and then they start to feel better

01:03:07.580 and then they get slammed at the month mark and they go downhill and at that point you're not

01:03:13.640 going to test positive um and if you have to test positive to be able to get any type of employment

01:03:20.380 uh benefits or like unemployment or disability or whatever it's just it can't happen it has to

01:03:27.200 be globally recognized that we need to be including presumed positives and clinical diagnoses yeah

01:03:35.460 and making the doctors put it in your file like presumed positive because it changes the way that

01:03:40.840 people treat you and I was lucky enough to be positive but the three of you didn't get a positive

01:03:45.220 test and I've heard nightmare stories from people all across the world like from South Korea from

01:03:50.820 Europe from all over that have kind of been undermined completely from no matter what the

01:03:57.100 healthcare system is just because of a negative test and even though they're known to be so faulty

01:04:01.420 so I chose not to mention that anymore it's not my reality it's yeah I'm just saying that I had

01:04:09.740 COVID and actually no one no one is asking anymore they were like maybe the past like a month ago

01:04:16.100 but now for months i never had the question like did you date when you came in it's just like

01:04:22.440 not even in the discussion anymore i'm like i would even i would even advise to lie yeah

01:04:29.820 it's and and in terms of you know getting treatment for covid there is no treatment

01:04:36.740 for covid there's there's only treatment for you know the various uh systems that it yeah

01:04:44.440 havoc on so you know but it is it is a good point though that you're bringing up becca and

01:04:51.960 and one thing that we are arguing a lot one thing that we have spoken to journalists about a lot

01:04:58.480 is that there's a reluctance to diagnose covid based on clinical uh assessment and that just

01:05:06.000 means consider the set of symptoms that people are presenting with there is now you know a very

01:05:12.920 specific set of symptoms um it's broad of course and you know some of those symptoms fall into

01:05:19.780 categories for other diseases so of course doctors need to sort of rule out other things but if you

01:05:26.980 look at the set of symptoms all together as one it's very easy to see that this is covid whether

01:05:34.680 or not there's a positive test or a negative test you know for me when i got it like most of us

01:05:42.860 when we got it there was not wide testing happening you know i was refused to test

01:05:48.600 they didn't test me until a month later and of course i tested negative you know it wasn't in

01:05:54.440 it wasn't in my sinus cavity at that point it was in my lungs and my heart yeah and just one more

01:06:00.680 thing that i want to add to that is um that this person who one of the people i've been speaking

01:06:05.280 to a lot who is doing the working group for the world health organization who's at mount sinai

01:06:10.280 um he said that the consensus globally right now with the specialists who are in the working groups

01:06:16.080 and who are studying it the most are including um negatives now as positives but it's just not

01:06:23.400 it's not known enough globally right now so it needs to kind of be blasted out i think a little

01:06:28.560 bit more to the doctors and to all like to all the different uh types of like you know health

01:06:34.180 care systems that are happening because he's it just seems like people don't know you know and i

01:06:38.980 And I think a lot of the doctors are so slammed with patients that they're not doing the research.

01:06:42.740 Like, they don't have time.

01:06:45.280 I've sent so many articles to my doctors and they've never seen it.

01:06:47.820 They don't even know.

01:06:48.500 I heard nothing about this at all.

01:06:50.440 They don't have the time to research it.

01:06:52.360 And that's another problem.

01:06:53.760 I can say also that I have been followed or just seen the chief infectiologist here in my hometown in Normandy.

01:07:05.800 and i have been also uh seeing a professor infectiologist in paris and she has opened

01:07:15.780 and she has opened um uh post uh how do you say like long haulers thing long haulers yeah and uh

01:07:28.260 and they both wrote a letter like she wrote a letter of recommendation for a neurologist

01:07:36.080 and he wrote a letter to the pain center I don't know if you have that in Canada

01:07:42.040 we do but it's impossible to get in it takes well it's in Quebec yeah okay so like he wrote

01:07:48.240 a letter and basically at maybe like a week distance and and he writes that I probably

01:07:55.360 don't have covid because i tested because my serologies are negative and and she writes

01:08:02.080 completely different because she has like 200 patients like me wow her like she told me under

01:08:09.880 her uh what do you say like watch and uh and so she just writes like uh she she's experiencing

01:08:17.540 this like neurological stuff and then the arm the left arm then and then uh she says

01:08:25.180 like we are seeing in all of our like uh people like that and so because here in normandy it was

01:08:34.400 like very little actually uh infection uh sorry my brain is uh starting to be uh meltdown i can't

01:08:43.020 we understand so let's let's wrap it up this way like um either a t-shirt slogan

01:08:50.500 or you know what i what i know for sure um we'll start with krista can you give me a this is what

01:08:57.740 i know for sure about covid oh wow amy i know what i know is that it is evil and it is painful

01:09:09.200 and damaging but through a mixture of science and intuition i feel like we can heal and uh

01:09:18.980 My wish is that the world would stop for 14 days.

01:09:22.560 Everyone would stay in and it would just completely go away.

01:09:25.220 It's my wish.

01:09:26.180 The miracle many of us have.

01:09:28.320 Anyway, that's what I have to say.

01:09:30.200 Becca, what do you know for sure?

01:09:33.340 I know for sure that if we don't stop for 14 days, it's going to be around for a really long time.

01:09:39.180 And I think that people, if they really want to go on and live, like go on with life,

01:09:45.440 there needs to be a collective acknowledgement that it's not going to go away unless it is

01:09:50.340 a collective thing or unless it's unfortunately like forced by governments in which in a way that

01:09:56.640 we don't want so to happen so and it might not happen it might it might just be so i mean i

01:10:03.100 guess maybe my my message isn't as positive because i i mean i i'm grateful to all of the

01:10:10.680 people that i've met in this entire uh thing and i feel like i've come out of it on a different like

01:10:17.340 as a better human on a lot of levels because it's it's been such a visceral experience um but i

01:10:24.640 don't want my family members to get it and so i would just say and my family protect your loved

01:10:29.900 ones you know encourage people to wear masks and uh you know stay outdoors as much as you can

01:10:37.700 with people that you're not potting it up with.

01:10:42.260 Whitefeather, what do you know for sure?

01:10:45.280 What I know for sure about COVID is that it's a curse.

01:10:49.500 It is a demonic curse.

01:10:52.820 It's like having a demon enter your body,

01:10:56.340 find every single weakness that you may have

01:10:59.080 and exploit that weakness.

01:11:01.120 This is what it is.

01:11:03.240 And, you know, as a witch, I've dealt with curses in the past. I have my techniques, I have my banishment spells, I have my protection spells. This is a curse that no spell, no single spell will defeat.

01:11:27.340 so you know I would say like do all of the protection shit right up front you know and

01:11:36.620 my healing has come from this amazing circle of women that have gathered around me and it extends

01:11:46.320 beyond this circle of women who are all here talking right now to like you know herbalists

01:11:53.120 in new york who sent me teachers in the mail and you know my cousin witch who's been wild crafting

01:11:59.920 herbs for me from my family farm and all of these people who have come together

01:12:05.360 to try to break this curse but it is a curse

01:12:08.540 all you witches out there a lot of our spells used little bits of fabric and i think we all 0.91

01:12:15.900 know the best spell to do with a little bit of fabric from this point on put it over your 0.99

01:12:21.080 fucking face oh my god put it over your face geez if you have some left over you can make 0.98

01:12:29.240 little bundles with herbs and so on but first step first spell first protection spell 0.99

01:12:33.880 yes i was in uh in mexico uh in residency before i came back in the beginning of march

01:12:50.200 And I bought on the market, you know, this little, it's powder for like, you know, getting

01:13:00.660 lucky for like putting the, you know, all this stuff.

01:13:04.560 We should make one.

01:13:05.820 Very dust.

01:13:07.140 Yeah, very dust.

01:13:08.120 We should make something.

01:13:09.620 Me, I just want to say that for me, yesterday was my 120th day of COVID.

01:13:17.860 Yeah.

01:13:18.180 And so I would say to answer your question of a slogan, I would say, Salo, 120 Day of Coney.

01:13:30.500 And all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

01:13:34.240 All I got were these lousy masks that Chris has.

01:13:38.160 Chris just talking through three masks.

01:13:41.740 oh yeah and again like you know this can be wearable art this can be a fashion statement

01:13:49.460 this can be a political statement like our our t-shirt slogans that were so popular

01:13:53.580 um you know you can do the same thing with a little piece of fabric over your face krista

01:13:58.860 can we exit with girl possessed yeah let's listen i'm pretty sure i have

01:14:05.340 if i don't you're gonna send me another oh i'll send you i'll send everybody in the uh

01:14:11.160 the covid coven a copy of that because yeah as a side note amy i just want to say um because you

01:14:19.040 didn't mention it but we did a collaboration of course we did for amy made beautiful psychedelic

01:14:25.180 visual videos for every single track from my album the tides which was dedicated to the women

01:14:30.280 in toronto who supported me at the endometriosis network i just want to say that um yeah i'm

01:14:37.460 extremely grateful for this this coven and for all the interconnectivity of all this because

01:14:41.520 it really does it's very healing and empowering and that's what we need right now yeah healing

01:14:49.320 and empowering so everyone stay safe stay mighty wear a mask be vulnerable and candid in your

01:14:55.940 experience seek out people that you can relate to and talk to and be honest with it and still

01:15:01.900 have them consider you a warrior um and safe stay safe and mighty and now let's hear girl possessed

01:15:09.520 by krista muir from her evening 1.00

01:15:31.900 Go close to the floor in a bloody mess, like a couple's eggs. 0.78

01:15:37.980 Pass across the floor in silence, the thing you can't undress.

01:15:43.840 How to describe this feeling, looking in the eye.

01:15:49.940 Telling me this is perfectly normal.

01:15:52.100 Oh, how you hold yourself, hold yourself.

01:15:56.300 Saying it's gonna be alright.

01:15:58.540 Oh, how you hold yourself together

01:16:04.080 Hold yourself up to the light

01:16:08.320 Oh, how you hold yourself

01:16:12.500 Hold yourself

01:16:13.600 Through each morning and night

01:16:16.560 Oh, how you hold yourself together

01:16:22.160 Weathering the storm

01:16:24.660 Though there's another answer

01:16:29.800 Like a good buzzer

01:16:42.400 Hoping no one hears that cry 1.00

01:16:45.820 Kill me now 0.99

01:16:46.620 Like a good buzzer 1.00

01:16:49.400 Impossible to keep from moving

01:16:52.300 I think you can't undress

01:16:55.120 How to describe this feeling

01:16:58.560 Look me in the eye

01:17:01.120 Tell me again, this is perfectly normal

01:17:04.040 Oh, how you hold yourself, hold yourself

01:17:07.660 Knowing you know it's not alright

01:17:10.720 Oh, how you hold yourself together

01:17:16.060 Through every oversight

01:17:22.300 Oh, how you hold yourself, hold yourself, tell yourself it's going to be all right.

01:17:30.640 Oh, how you hold yourself together when there ain't any storm, with always another inside.

01:17:52.300 I can't propose, I can't propose, I can't propose

Missing Witches - July 20, 2020

Covid Coven with WhiteFeather, Krista, Becca and Amelie

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