00:02:55.340Yes, and that's kind of my background is working on drag shows across the world.
00:02:59.840Yeah, it's a testament to how good of an assistant and just all-around technical helper Kenny is.
00:03:11.600I'm an Aquarius, so I don't do a lot of emotions, but I'll definitely like solve things.
00:03:17.880Yeah, he he started in this industry as my assistant.
00:03:21.440So I would pay for him to come with me on tour.
00:03:25.160And then he started assisting lots of the other queens because, you know, one drag queen in a show of eight drag queens only needs so much assistance.
00:03:33.380and a lot of the producers saw how well Kenny is with working with other with the performers
00:03:41.640keeping them calm solving problems so he kind of climbed his way through the ladder
00:03:46.700and nowadays he works part-time with me helping me produce my shows with my music partner Major
00:03:55.740scales and he also is a tour manager for queens like bianca del rio alaska thunder0.73
00:04:03.580fuck i don't know if i'm allowed to swear and um ador delano are some of the queens he's tour0.86
00:04:10.500managed for let's just say please always swear safe space for your for your swears0.99
00:04:19.600wonderful but i i think um your relationship is is a good jumping off point for a discussion of
00:04:27.800yule because it's like there is you know the spotlight and then there's all that super
00:04:32.800important stuff that happens behind the scenes that we don't get to see can you talk a little
00:04:39.040bit about the the blessed darkness of behind the scenes darkness is an apt word for it yeah i think
00:04:49.340Well, we can speak for drag. Specifically, it can come from a dark place. And of course, we don't mean bad, but it can come out of trauma. And for a lot of people, drag is sort of the explosion of everything you're told you can't be.
00:05:05.600so sometimes to get into that headspace requires a bit of darkness that the people in the audience
00:05:13.000aren't going to know about and whether that means you have to work through something with your
00:05:17.180friends or chosen family moments before you walk on stage which seems to be our sort of
00:05:23.000route of dealing with that we have a pretty open relationship as far as communication it's very
00:05:28.760like we can't wait with stuff we have learned it has to be very direct and in the moment but yeah
00:05:34.140like i'm saying sometimes that means we're having a friend personal conversation seconds before
00:05:40.880jinx the character needs to go out on stage so they're very we uh play in that like liminal
00:05:47.240space a lot um kenneth's main role um when we're touring a show or putting on a show somewhere
00:05:53.900um is to set up everything ahead of time so that um i or me and my music partner can just walk on
00:06:02.600stage and do the show. So Kenneth not having as much of a background in performing arts, but
00:06:08.540gaining a background in the entertainment industry and production. He learns our shows from a
00:06:17.540technical aspect, and then handles delegating everything to all the different technical people
00:06:23.280working on the show, whether it's one person or five people, and does all the pre-production work
00:06:28.420so that we as best we can can just walk on stage in character but um because we are such close
00:06:35.880friends and at this point chosen family it does mean that our personal lives um are never far
00:06:42.180away from our our professional lives so there have been moments um I think the most famous story in
00:06:49.140our in our circle is the birthday story um we were in province of massachusetts um this is more dark
00:06:57.620yeah it's a little more on the rough side of things we've experienced we we're really good
00:07:05.500at still putting on the best show we possibly can even if we're dealing with personal stuff
00:07:10.320but because of mine and kenny's really intimate relationship and that just inherently mixing with
00:07:15.000our professional relationship um one year it was like the end of my season in provincetown
00:07:20.860it was my birthday i'm used to doing shows on my birthday it's actually how i prefer it but um
00:07:26.920we got into some really petty argument. There's no telling what the argument was about. We can't
00:07:32.580remember the argument at all, but we got very heated just about moments before I was supposed
00:07:39.080to walk on stage. And the last thing, like we said to each other is me being very selfish and
00:07:45.500Kenny being very cold, like an Aquarius can be. But I said something like, how could you do this
00:07:50.860to me on my birthday? And he said, who would want to celebrate the birthday of an asshole?1.00
00:07:56.920I knew you were going to tell it that way but then literally that was the last thing you said1.00
00:08:03.220to me and I turned on my heels walked on stage and then it was the best show of the entire season
00:08:08.580it's just kind of it's a well that's where it kind of ties back to the darkness is like
00:08:13.820we're better at it now but we used to together make the mistake of sometimes that fight was
00:08:20.320never really real but somehow we had to get the energy to make the show happen so we weren't doing
00:08:25.620it from like the healthiest place and that took a long time to realize that you're pulling from
00:08:30.820like not the greatest place and there are dark great places to pull from that maybe wasn't one
00:08:35.580of well what we learned from that experience specifically is that it was a hard after three
00:08:48.540months of doing the same show everyone's worn out it's hard to summon up the um the same energy as
00:08:54.380the beginning of the season um so i was probably already in a grouchy mood that day just having to
00:09:00.000do the show period there's nothing like hearing the audience really excited at a time when you're
00:09:05.160personally feeling like you have nothing left whether you're on stage or working off stage
00:09:10.120and hearing that they're they could be the same crowd from weeks to go that they're just ready
00:09:14.120for the show and no part of you is ready yeah they can't know that you know and then the adrenaline
00:09:20.900from our small fight fueled me to step on stage and then attack the show with the same fervor I
00:09:30.140would have in the beginning of the season. And it was the best show of the whole season. And then I
00:09:34.740got off stage and couldn't remember the fight at all. And Kenny had drinks waiting for me and my
00:09:39.780music partner. And it was like the fight never happened. And we realized that maybe it wasn't
00:09:45.420the fight we needed. It was the adrenaline. And maybe our brains and our spirits had started to
00:09:50.740equate fighting with a way of generating that adrenaline. And that actually, I don't know how
00:09:58.000many years ago that was, it could have been three or four years ago now, but we don't really fight
00:10:02.540like that anymore because it was that moment of identifying that it wasn't the fight. It was the
00:10:08.040adrenaline that we were looking for. Um, and the, the, um, the energy that it generated. So we have
00:10:16.600just found better ways to generate that energy rather than fighting moments before
00:10:21.480can you please please tell us what those methods are yeah what's the transubstantiation of the
00:10:31.100energy well we yeah not that we can do it perfectly but we try not to have we try to
00:10:38.080have scheduled work talks on a show day because I think that is a big trigger that can sort of like
00:10:44.620you know and obviously the world's very different now but when we can do live shows and things and
00:10:49.540and even you know a zoom thing or a live event you're doing can kind of have
00:10:53.700this energy um losing my train of thought a little but
00:10:58.500we're we're basically more able to schedule when we're allowed to talk about things on a work day
00:11:06.620so if we need to have like something that's outside of work or the show or the art that
00:11:12.480we're doing, it's kind of scheduled, which isn't super magical, but it kind of is in the sense
00:11:18.440that we're opening and closing a certain time to do different things that day, which isn't true on
00:11:24.520our off days and stuff, which we try to keep work out of, but it's making that space really helps
00:11:33.360us because then when you approach me and say, hey, I know it's not this time, but can we have this
00:11:37.860work talk it feels like we're both consenting yeah we consent to work talk now in our personal time
00:11:44.260and i think the biggest thing is that too much communication is basically the only way we can do
00:11:49.280it yeah we have to overdo the communication the biggest thing that causes difficulty with our
00:11:54.560relationship is that we live together we're best friends we're family um we work together and we
00:12:02.740know everything about each other. So there's really no escape from one another. And it
00:12:07.300simultaneously allows us to work really intimately and really well together. But it also means we
00:12:14.960have access to everything that both incites joy and anger in the other person. So boundaries have
00:12:23.280become very important in our professional and personal lives. And then the other thing that
00:12:30.160really helps us when it comes to like, summoning the energy that we need without going to anger or
00:12:37.360fighting is we both use mantras a lot. And a mantra that is very well associated with me is
00:12:49.260water off a duck's back from my season of drag race. And since then, I just kind of create
00:12:56.380mantras every day um you know depending on what i'm going through that help me with current
00:13:03.240circumstances and um the mantra we use for shows um peaches christ another collaborator made up for
00:13:10.500us but it's drag is fierce and fun and we basically just say it over and over and over
00:13:16.440until we trick our brains into believing that no matter what's going on that day
00:13:20.080this show is going to be fierce and fun it's a great tension breaker too because you know when
00:13:25.540you feel that like pressure in the room and then one of us in our like immediate performing friend
00:13:30.700group will say that like really loud and excitedly and it just kind of breaks everything up and
00:13:35.340everyone laughs it's not the only mantra but that is a really good one for just quickly
00:13:39.480kind of resetting the mood or headspace of the group is a joke yeah and a mantra is a spell
00:13:45.360you know it's just it's just a psychological spell you cast on yourself exactly i was thinking for
00:13:52.180our listeners percent for our listeners who don't do drag you can substitute life for the word drag
00:13:59.060life is fierce and fun just like kind of remind yourself life is fierce and fun but i think
00:14:04.200especially at the in the holiday season water off a duck's back is a super important mantra for us
00:14:11.860to carry with us when we're around people that we didn't necessarily choose to have
00:14:17.000and what i what i what i love about water off a duck's back that i also try to
00:14:24.320like express to people because i feel like um it's very easy to misunderstand water off a0.83
00:14:31.160duck's back as just um just uh fuck everything nothing matters like let it all go um because0.90
00:14:39.060i hear people sometimes saying it in moments where it's not really appropriate you know like0.99
00:14:44.300Like, like, you know, people saying like, well, you know, when Trump tries to do something awful, it's water off a duck's back.
00:14:51.940It's like, no, actually, we should be fighting that, you know, and that's an example.
00:14:58.260That's why we're trying to look at the comments.
00:15:00.820But for me, water off a duck's back isn't about letting everything go past you or wash off of you.
00:15:10.460It's about taking what you can use first and then everything else that's not helpful, then you let go of, you know.
00:15:17.660Yeah. And I think it's about not letting your center be knocked off by someone else's emotions or someone else's feelings about you or whatever.
00:15:25.660there was always a piece to that for me when I heard you say it that was also about like
00:15:33.060the sort of unique protection that the duck has that like the the duck has that sort of like
00:15:39.800oily very specific character to their to their wings and their layered feathers and there's like
00:15:46.340this kind of beautiful meticulously orchestrated thing that is that is theirs and like water goes
00:15:53.160off that in a very specific way yeah and I don't know I always I always had that in my mind when
00:15:58.540you would say it and when I would repeat it to myself afterwards that there's something about
00:16:02.540it that's like water may not go off other people's backs quite so well yeah it it was definitely a
00:16:10.800protection spell for myself and I'll tell you why it became so important during drag race
00:16:16.280is because for me, drag has always been a community experience.
00:18:09.400But I would say most of the interaction we do is kind of through me having the
00:18:15.320knowledge of what we have and don't have in our yard and garden.
00:18:18.280and then Jinx wanting to kind of explore that with food yeah yeah food and oils and we both
00:18:25.620um we both practice making our own oils from the herbs and plants that Kenny grows in the yard
00:18:32.000um so I've made uh just last night I did a skin um what was it skin preservation oil yeah um and
00:18:42.120Book of 5,000 spells is like one of our favorite ones.
00:18:45.100Yeah, I've done some fiery protection oil using a lot of the same spices that I use for cooking and then stuff that we have from the garden.
00:18:57.380But yeah, Kenny grows the herbs that I then use in cooking to then feed the household and take care of the household.
00:19:07.300So we're both, we're both coming together. We coalesce in, in different ways. Um, I would say
00:19:14.700that Kenny does a lot more research than I do. Um, it's funny stickler for like, if it says you
00:19:20.500need these ingredients in this amount, you have to do it that way. And I'm more like, well, I like
00:19:25.620this idea and I'll make it at myself. Yeah. Kenny does a lot of the research. Um, I do a lot of
00:19:31.760instinctual um casting but then also I'm the one who follows the recipes to the letter and
00:19:38.100Kenny's the one who kind of makes up his own recipes so 2020 has been like very domestic
00:19:45.820for everyone but it sounds like you know you've gone from this life of constantly being on the
00:19:51.500road to now growing the herbs for yourself yeah can you talk about like it's crazy to
00:20:01.880Well, so I guess seven and a half years, almost eight since Jinx was on Drag Race when I joined her for sort of the beginning of that touring, which we didn't really know would last very long at the time.
00:20:14.340We thought maybe I was joining them for a year and then we'd kind of be back home.
00:20:19.380But I mean, very realistically, we haven't spent a month in the same place, let alone
00:24:12.560yeah there there's something there for sure
00:24:18.980yeah my personal mantra has always been um everything I need comes to me with ease
00:24:26.960Amy and I made it into a song at one point because it was it was for me it was yeah and
00:24:32.960it's not about like um it's not about like bragging it's about like reminding yourself about
00:24:39.380breath you know the core thing that you need is there every time you need it and I have to remind
00:24:44.400myself that when I'm anxious but I love when you were talking before you just mentioned offhand and
00:24:50.460I've been thinking about it ever since the idea of opening and closing containers and then I feel
00:24:54.500like we've skirted around it over and over again that like in especially in this in this time
00:24:59.800where we're all compressed into our homes and into our family spaces the that sort of magical
00:25:06.080concept of opening and closing a container becomes so so vivid so real for all of us
00:25:13.400is that something that you guys have a practice around that you I know you talked about it when
00:25:17.920you were talking about um performing but is that something in your house too where you can open and
00:25:22.240close a space like this is the container for this I think well I think our house um we the biggest
00:25:31.440transition with quarantine is that our house here in portland oregon is like known as the house
00:25:38.180where um first of all it's a house where lots of parties happen throughout the year and everyone's
00:25:43.720welcome and um all you have to be is you know respectful to everybody and you're welcome to
00:25:50.160the parties at monsoon manor and we have a lot of friends who frequent here so often that like you
00:25:56.380know, it's not a, they don't typically call to check in there to say, text us to see if they
00:26:02.520can come over, they just pop over. And so the quarantine meant that we had to kind of close
00:26:08.640our doors to all of that and, and set up the kind of, you know, boundaries where you do check in
00:26:14.760with us before coming over, which was a big transition for everyone who lives here, all of
00:26:20.780us being very social people and the friends that are welcome into this space being very social
00:26:26.140people it um you know it was an adjustment to kind of have to close those doors and
00:26:32.620circle the perimeter with um protection oil
00:26:35.840yeah yeah i think that as far as like opening and closing containers that really
00:26:43.640changed the the house in a way that we had to kind of pull back to pull back into like a direction
00:26:49.580of something we wanted the house to be because a huge reason we finally, even though it wasn't
00:26:55.320related to quarantine, moved back to Portland was the community here and friends. So then we came
00:27:01.860back and sort of had to lock everything up and kind of leave that behind. But we found ways to
00:27:07.860alter a space and be outside more that allows us to not fully open up, but have certain friends
00:27:14.780and things outside where we can be safe and distant from each other so it's this kind of weird
00:27:20.500open and closed thing but it's the best way that we can operate and kind of still be a part of the
00:27:27.900community and support those friends that don't have other places to go that aren't their apartment
00:27:32.500and things obviously with the colder weather changing um or changed already where you know
00:27:38.940that'll be different too. Yeah, I should point out that the way Kenny's built the garden is
00:27:44.560the second you step through one of our gates, it's like you're in a completely different place from
00:27:50.440just out on the street. You know, we live in a residential neighborhood that's very
00:27:54.680nice and pleasant. And our house is kind of famous in the neighborhood because first of all,
00:28:01.660the gate around the house is made from repurposed doors, cabinet doors, and, you know, house doors.
00:28:10.460So we're known as the doorhouse. Yeah, if you don't know the jinx list here, then you call the
00:28:14.780house the doorhouse because people walk by and say that all the time. And I love that it has,
00:28:18.420like, multiple names or meanings to people. And then Kenny's also, what's the name of the plant
00:28:24.300that the vines that grow up to the roof? That's a wisteria. Wisteria. So Kenny's covered the front
00:28:30.360of the house in wisteria we have these two giant trees um it's like this it's it looks like a
00:28:37.980witch's hut in the middle of the woods but it's in the middle of a residential neighborhood
00:28:41.820surrounded by condos a lot of condos around with no trees and then our property has five
00:28:48.060massive trees two for a tree so you can't even though it's not a huge plot of land you our house
00:28:53.380is obscured by the trees and the doors and our flags and different things so it's a lot to
00:28:59.920visually taken but um i don't know if i feel like we're straying from the topic but that is like a
00:29:06.420really great thing about where we are and definitely has this it feels like a different
00:29:11.140space when you walk through a gate to kind of tie it back and i don't feel like oh sorry i was just
00:29:18.180gonna say it's so hard at the delay but i was gonna say i don't feel like you're straying from
00:29:20.900the topic at all because that's exactly what i'm thinking about like different ways of making
00:29:25.920containers make us safe you know they make spaces where like an identity is is safe and is allowed
00:29:32.180and I I'm so happy that you described that I was like closing my eyes picturing you
00:29:37.400and I was just gonna say the the added benefit is that about once or twice a week someone will
00:29:44.160drive by slow down roll down their window and just scream we love your house and then go on
00:29:50.460their way and it happens pretty frequently i think a radical self-expression definitely like as a
00:29:59.400drag artist and as as witches definitely extends to our homes yeah for sure how do you decorate
00:30:08.840your temple? I describe the house as a gorgeous clutter. One of our housemates, Helena, who has
00:30:23.100been one of my best friends since high school. It's funny because we live with two other people.
00:30:30.040In time, we'll be living with three other people because my boyfriend, we're beginning the process
00:30:35.500for him to move in he's from the uk so he's going to um immigrate which is a long process
00:30:43.340but we're doing more complicated obviously because of the state of the world yeah um so we're doing
00:30:50.160everything correctly legally um cautiously but we're also you know trying to move up the timeline
00:30:56.240because of the uncertainty of everything right now um but uh everyone who uh the two other
00:31:04.840housemates who currently live here with us are people I've known since I was a teenager and
00:31:08.860people Kenny's known for almost as long. So we really do have this long history of connection.
00:31:17.960And so everything's pretty cohesive between the four of us in the house. So when I was sorry,
00:31:24.300when I bought the house almost three years ago, Kenny and I were living in San Francisco
00:31:29.500and helena was living here alone and renting the rooms out as an airbnb and she decorated
00:31:37.180the entire house with just lots of salvaged um antiques and furniture and um just random pieces
00:31:45.940she would find on the side of the road and everywhere you look in the common spaces like
00:31:50.580the walls are completely full we're maximalists so there's like not an inch of space anywhere
00:31:56.360it's not like a decoration or a figurine or something yeah yeah so it's um i used to refer
00:32:04.140to it as kind of like a drag museum um and we've kind of now that we've moved in and made it our
00:32:11.280space it's less of a drag museum and more of just like a museum of our collective lives because
00:32:17.240there's every bookshelf is full whether it's like you know um all books pertaining to gypsy rose
00:32:24.760lee or then you look over at this shelf and it's all witch encyclopedias and um it's greek
00:32:32.540mythology section yeah yeah yeah i'm sure your houses are similar in some regards out in the
00:32:38.640woods so it's the decor is very um campy and it's like taking a bunch of old things
00:32:48.240cluttering them together to make it look very iconically portland and very iconically queer
00:32:55.200witchy and drag oriented which maybe unsurprisingly is a lot of crossover in decorations yeah i was
00:33:04.700gonna say not just decorations but like in culture in lifestyle that was that was gonna be my next
00:33:10.500question i know i saw in an in a documentary that you were specifically talking about rold
00:33:16.380doll and the unleashing of the witches and how you saw that as being like drag queens can you
00:33:22.700talk about that and then all of the other stuff about drag and and witch well um so
00:33:31.860i think you know i i started self-identifying as a witch when i was about 23 or 24 no no no it was
00:33:41.900later, because it was after Drag Race. It was about 25. That's not really important. But the
00:33:48.460point is, for I think, because of our society, for so long, I thought to be a witch meant one
00:33:57.020very specific thing. And there was a point in my life where I realized not only that what I was
00:34:03.860participating in had its own kind of magic, but also the way I was raised. I was raised by my
00:34:11.820mom and my aunt and my grandmother collectively. So they had their own little coven. And even though
00:34:18.840a lot of their practices were rooted in Catholicism, it was the most mystical, most
00:34:25.520witchy parts of Catholicism. You know, the rituals were more important than going to church
00:34:31.920or practicing communion or anything. The rituals that they did around the holidays were
00:34:38.960the things that really like resonated with me and with them and really brought my family together
00:34:45.080and then it's like I remember my mom telling me about heaven and hell and what's considered good
00:34:52.820and bad and all of this stuff and very specifically one day her just saying you know like I don't want
00:34:59.160you participating in witchcraft I don't want you um playing dungeons and dragons all this stuff
00:35:04.660And then we made a stop at a cemetery so that she could scrape some dust off of a gravestone to try to help her win the lottery.0.96
00:35:11.420And I'm like, how is this woman? How how is this dichotomy existing within the same woman?0.52
00:35:18.980Very accurate. So my mom's attitudes towards witchcraft have really changed her attitudes towards basically everything have changed the farther and farther we've gotten away from organized religion as a family.0.99
00:35:31.800um so there was this point in my life where I realized that a lot of things I had already
00:35:38.700experienced were a type of magic and that all it took to be a witch was to kind of make the
00:35:45.020conscious decision to practice the magic rather than just you know like it was already happening
00:35:52.340on its own and my my identity as a witch just meant I shifted into doing it on purpose rather
00:35:59.220than by accident. So and I remember when I started self identifying as a witch, I was dating someone
00:36:08.480who also was kind of at the beginning of that journey. And I remember because of, you know,
00:36:14.700the way I am, the way I work very aesthetically, and the way that like, I almost always start with
00:36:19.740the aesthetic of something. And then it kind of informs the internal aspects of it. So I was
00:36:25.480wanting to build my altar. And I was like going to shops and buying everything for altars. And it
00:36:30.680was like, Oh, I need a dagger. And my boyfriend at the time just said, you don't really need a
00:36:36.120dagger. It's like, you don't need to buy everything to create your altar, your altar can be whatever
00:36:41.520you want it to be. And he said something that at the time was really confronting for me, and now
00:36:47.720has actually been very helpful, which is, he said, I, I'm looking into this as my new, like,
00:36:54.800spiritual path, not as a performance. And it was like, I had to kind of accept that the way I was
00:37:02.580treating it at first was like a performance of witchcraft and not actually a practice of
00:37:07.360witchcraft. And that did confront me, but it also caused me to like re-examine the way I wanted to
00:37:14.960get into witchcraft. And I feel like nowadays, I don't try to push anything. I don't try to practice
00:37:21.540more often than I feel necessary. I don't cast spells just to cast spells. I cast spells when
00:37:29.160I feel like they're necessary in my life. And then otherwise, I just try to find the magic in
00:37:35.400what I'm doing, whether it's creating music, performing, cooking, just kind of going into it
00:37:41.520with a consciousness of this can be a form of magic if I allow it to be, rather than going out
00:37:50.200of my normal routine to try to prove to anyone who may be watching that I'm a witch it's more
00:37:55.420about a personal experience with everything that I do but as a as a theater person surely yeah
00:38:04.580surely surely there's something to the oh yeah I mean set design and performances as as a witchcraft
00:38:13.100unto itself yeah I think I mean like I don't think there's anything wrong with having performative
00:38:18.580elements to it and that was supposed to be play and yeah it is still play and fun you know and of
00:38:24.700course you know the more the deeper I get into my own practice the more I'm like oh like drawn to
00:38:32.520clothing that like projects to the world this is who I am you know and that's just always going to
00:38:38.320be true for me like it's true when I like anything you know I have to kind of announce it a little
00:38:44.100bit because that's just in my nature as as an artist and a performer and as a drag queen
00:38:49.000everything has an element of performativity but it's um also you know taking stock with myself
00:38:57.420why am I doing this today how is this going to help me tomorrow and you know making sure that
00:39:04.020there's an authenticity to it and that it's not all performance I think though um
00:39:10.720well i guess we both in different ways in our our group of friends and most queer people express
00:39:19.140ourselves through clothing so i do think it's like a taking up space thing too to dress as a
00:39:26.960witch sometimes or what society might think a witch looks like and you know we're safe in
00:39:30.860portland to do that so that's great because the culture here is kind of dressed however you want
00:39:35.660But I think there's a power in it, too, to kind of force people to do dress in a way where someone's going to think which, even if that's not where their brain goes very often, you know, if that makes sense.
00:39:52.060Like, I think for me, there's a power in choosing when I want to disappear, when I want to pass in corporate waters or whatever, and take whatever power I can there.
00:40:05.660And then when I'm going to do some magic for me, and if I want it to be flamboyant, then putting on the clothes or putting on, or sometimes when I go to Amy's to record a podcast to put on my giant black velvet dress, you know, like choosing those things, the way of like activating that part of me that has that particular power.
00:40:25.780um we talk in our in our book our forthcoming book we talk we ended up thinking out loud a lot
00:40:31.800about um how magic is really fundamentally tied to the power in breaking binaries and i think
00:40:40.440there's something to be addressed there too in the magic of drag and and and also in our sort of
00:40:47.440gender roles defining this space where we can kind of lay that aside is that something you can talk
00:40:52.900of that? Yeah. Um, I think one, one thing that stuck with me from art school and probably one0.98
00:41:02.420of the best lessons I learned as a performer, um, was in my clown class, which was, um, based off
00:41:10.760of the Commedia dell'arte, like Italian classical clown form, even though we were doing modern
00:41:16.960clowns, you know, we weren't playing tartuffe, you know, but we were creating our own clown forms
00:41:22.680with the sensibility of the classic clown comedia dell'arte training and the best thing that i0.60
00:41:31.380learned was there you can either start with the internal and it informs the external or you can
00:41:38.760start with the external and it informs the internal and there's no right way to do it you
00:41:43.220know if you need to start with a costume to inform your emotion that's completely all right
00:41:49.640Um, so for me, like breaking down binaries happens in everything that I do. And, um, it, it occurs whether I'm dressing or presenting in a way that is very much against societal norms.
00:42:10.080And it also occurs when I'm trying to blend in or pass or disappear, like you described, because it's like these moments of knowing I'm going to go to an airport in, you know, in a particularly conservative part of the country or the world.
00:42:27.960I'll dress in a way that like helps me blend in a little bit more, but I almost never blend in.
00:42:34.060it's like it's only to give myself some reassurance but I think um I don't know I think
00:42:41.040the more we break down what we were told the more we undo conditioning um the more we release
00:42:51.660our own magic and kind of on on unfurl our magic on the world like I know for a long time
00:43:01.040because I was told boys are warlocks and girls are witches.
00:43:08.860So I didn't really like see myself as a witch
00:43:12.000because I was still being told that I had to see myself as a boy and as a warlock.
00:43:17.340And for whatever reason, the word warlock just didn't resonate with me.
00:43:21.020And then when I started noticing that witch can apply to anyone who practices
00:43:26.560and that it's a term you give yourself and it's self-assigned0.54
00:43:30.880and self-identified, then I was like, oh, it doesn't matter what genitalia I have. I'm a witch.0.97
00:43:37.300And that really unlocked a lot of things for me in terms of gender. It was about the same time0.97
00:43:44.140that I started self-identifying as non-binary, which I always was. I just didn't know the word
00:43:50.560for it. You know, I, I think, you know, basically, I mean, ever since I was a child, everyone could
00:43:58.400tell that I was queer and that I was trans femme. But it wasn't until I started self-identifying
00:44:04.880that that really unlocked in me. And unlocking that within myself just opened up an entire
00:44:12.040playground of presentation and identity and the ability to shapeshift every single day.
00:44:20.120And I think drag has an inherent magic because it is shape shifting. And that's definitely why I feel like my magic is expressed through drag. And my craft is practiced through drag. Every time I do drag, whether I'm like doing a witchy look, which is half of all my wardrobe, or, or if I'm doing a super glam glitzy look, the act of shape shifting is a form of magic.
00:44:50.120And I do see drag as shape-shifting, whether the participant realizes it or not.
00:44:59.400um i was gonna say well if we're talking about binaries in general i think i liked what you
00:45:09.700said about gender and then i was kind of thinking about plants and stuff and i not the first person
00:45:16.240on your podcast to feel this way but we really separate um what is like a plant from a weed and
00:45:23.440that is like one of my biggest frustrations in gardening. So I think that's something I've
00:45:29.820worked to break down. And maybe I'm not the greatest at sitting with a plant and talking to
00:45:34.820it, but I will get everyone in the house and all of our friends who come to visit to look at a weed
00:45:40.480that they hadn't experienced in that way. Because I feel like most people are familiar with a weed
00:45:44.800that's like this big or smaller, but they don't know when it grows four and a half feet tall,
00:45:50.060what plant that is anymore so I like to kind of disrupt people's feelings about weeds in that way
00:45:56.540and I kind of actively don't even like using that word or for example we have a friend's mother who
00:46:04.260stops by every once in a while and we'll say something about some of the weeds but I sort of
00:46:08.220act like that word doesn't exist so that's been kind of my way of dealing with people's binary
00:46:14.400around that aspect of plants too. Yeah. Cause we assign, we assign maleness and femaleness and
00:46:21.860masculinity and femininity to everything. You know, we assign it to colors. We assign it. I
00:46:28.180know lots of people who assign it to numbers and, you know, like I heard lots of friends say like,
00:46:35.000well, two is definitely female, whereas three is male. And I know that I thought that way as a
00:46:40.980child um as a younger person i i used um gender binaries in numbers to help me do math and i don't
00:46:48.820know why or how that helped me but um we do just i think as especially as an american society
00:46:56.260we assign gender to everything to better understand it and then also to like identify
00:47:04.240with certain things more than other things. But at the end of the day, you know, everything is
00:47:10.840everything. Because the only gender that exists for something is the gender we assign it, you know.0.55
00:47:18.780And I think that gender pronouns and gender identities are extremely important still,
00:47:25.640you know, I think especially when you are someone who is assigned a gender at birth,
00:47:31.140and then through your life you reclaim your own gender and you and you either transition
00:47:36.840or you take take control and take ownership of your own gender expression it's really important
00:47:44.620to have that binary setup so that you know for yourself and for everyone witnessing it that
00:47:50.720you're moving from one thing to the next and at the same time I think gender is not important
00:47:56.840because the only the only significance that it actually contains is the significance that we
00:48:03.860assign to it so I think gender is just one of those things that we're told that it's something
00:48:10.860that comes naturally but in a more enlightened sense it's only what you decide for it to be in
00:48:18.920your own life and again it's also play which doesn't incorporate what the binary is at all
00:48:25.060either because your gender could change as much as you decide yeah you know whether you're telling
00:48:29.540other people or not it's also how you feel and we have to have room for both because i remember
00:48:35.320sitting on a panel um at a convention in in the uk and it was the panel about gender expression
00:48:47.340and a person was really trying to emphasize to everyone witnessing the panel that your gender
00:48:53.060expression can change as many times as you want in your life. And that just because you identify
00:49:00.340one way now doesn't mean you have to identify that way in the future. And if you choose to
00:49:06.180identify differently in the future, it doesn't invalidate the way you identify right now.
00:49:11.160And I'm sitting next to a trans woman who said, and at the same time, this is not going to change
00:49:17.880for me. This is who I am. This is who I will always be. It's who I've always been. And I need
00:49:22.080people to to um respect that and not assume that this is some kind of a phase or some kind of a
00:49:29.820trend and so it's like they seem like combating ideas but actually it just goes it all goes into
00:49:39.420the idea that gender is um self self-designated um given importance from ourselves and is as
00:49:51.380important as we choose to make it in our own lives yeah and that we we need to create an
00:49:58.680environment where it's safe for people to do so to do it all of it yeah i wanted to say that like
00:50:05.140i think one of one of another very dangerous binary that relates to both weeds and gender
00:50:10.440is good and bad good good and bad good and bad i mean people get this sense like well i'm a good
00:50:18.940person so i can do these shitty things and it doesn't matter because i'm good you know or that
00:50:24.040person's a bad person they couldn't possibly have anything important to teach me because they are bad
00:50:29.940and i think again witches play with this very much these ideas of evil it's another example oh and
00:50:38.420and in fact jinx you have a lyric that's like um i'm misquoting it but it's they know they know
00:50:45.500she's evil because they say she's evil they say she's evil that's how they know she's evil
00:50:50.300and they say the girl she's evil yeah and that's how they know she's evil and I think that that
00:50:58.040like I don't I don't know how like you know societal you meant that lyric to be but for me
00:51:04.580it was very poignant like this is how we call witch this is how we call queer this is how we
00:51:09.860call man this is how we call woman this is how we call good this is how we call bad we set these up
00:51:16.100these things up in opposition and we only know them because someone told us yeah and I think um
00:51:22.440to speak on our background slightly about this our before even realizing we were necessarily queer we
00:51:28.600were already on the outskirts because we both were raised by single mothers and you know our moms are
00:51:33.840white and there's privileges that come along with that but we were raised by women who you know
00:51:39.580society and school are telling us that men do this and men do this and they're in charge of this and
00:51:43.780then we both went home and our mother was in charge of everything so like those things very early
00:51:49.620never really made sense to us because my mom was doing more than everything your mom was doing more
00:51:55.640than everything and the women in our lives who helped them and were part of their chosen or
00:52:01.800otherwise family were the leaders so it didn't really make sense to us before even knowing we
00:52:09.180were queer that the world operated that way you know outside of our small little home yeah I think
00:52:16.820I think also a big thing like in the idea of good and bad that Kenny has been very integral in me0.65
00:52:27.020discovering in myself you know I grew up with a certain level of trauma in my young life and I
00:52:36.220experienced certain abuse at young ages. And, you know, my whole life, my way of dealing with that
00:52:46.020was just to be the absolute best person I possibly could. And it was a way of kind of hiding from
00:52:53.300acknowledging trauma and abuse that I had experienced. And I convinced myself that if I
00:52:59.640do everything that a good person does, then I can escape the damage that that trauma and that
00:53:06.000abuse gave to me, you know, and I really did. I kept myself extremely busy all through school.
00:53:16.540I went from high school to college. I was like, you know, very addicted to good grades. I was
00:53:24.380addicted to hard work. I took on every extra project I possibly could. Started drag at 15.
00:53:29.820So I would go in high school, I would go to school throughout the week, work in drag throughout the
00:53:34.940weekend, never drank, never experienced, experimented with drugs, never did anything
00:53:41.720that was deemed bad. I go to college and carry that all throughout college. You know, I worked
00:53:48.000as a janitor in the morning, went to classes during the day, did all the rehearsals for plays
00:53:52.980and my extracurricular activities. And then I graduated and, and then it was like, there was
00:54:02.040nothing left to distract myself with. And there was this kind of snap. And it also happened at
00:54:08.380the same time that I started drinking. And it was like the pressure I'd put on myself for so long
00:54:15.000to avoid acknowledging the trauma and abuse I had experienced, then came on me like an avalanche.
00:54:22.620And then it was like going to the exact opposite side of things. Then it became this,
00:54:27.520I had this mentality this very selfish mentality of like well because these bad things happen to
00:54:33.660me and because I've worked so hard I am now owed my right to be selfish and destructive and I you0.99
00:54:41.280know especially with drag race overnight success and overnight celebrity played into that in big0.99
00:54:49.260ways I was like going on stage trying to be this perfect image I thought I had created for myself
00:54:55.960and then stepping off stage and feeling so weighed down by that pressure that I would go into the
00:55:02.720exact opposite direction. And it was years of slowly unpacking trauma and abuse that I had
00:55:11.860experienced, figuring out the ways that something that happened to me as a child is affecting the
00:55:19.380way I make decisions now. And then in the last three or so years, first changing my relationship
00:55:27.160to alcohol and now being sober for a year and a half, finally feeling like I have dealt with
00:55:35.800things enough that I don't have to label everything as good or bad. You were saying
00:55:42.640a good person might say, I'm a good person, so it doesn't matter if I do this shitty thing
00:55:48.360because I'm a good person. For me, it was always like, I'm a good person, but I did this one bad
00:55:54.140thing. So now I must be bad. And it was like one mistake or one, one selfish act, I thought undid
00:56:01.880everything. And it was almost like breaking the seal, like, oh, I'm a bad person. Now I might as
00:56:07.300well just like not, not give a shit about being a good person anymore. And so it's been years of0.98
00:56:14.280working on this within myself and i'm very lucky to have someone who's so close to me in my life0.92
00:56:20.120who's not only understanding and compassionate but also calls me out on my bullshit um sometimes too
00:56:27.140much um but i i feel like the ability to stop compartmentalizing everything is good or bad0.53
00:56:36.500but start looking at how they all relate to each other like a bad experience might
00:56:41.760have generated good experiences later and might still um generate bad experiences down the road
00:56:48.800but i don't have to look at it as good and bad it's all just you know different paths to take
00:56:55.020on one journey reminds me of um learning to walk in the dark uh which is one of my favorite books
00:57:00.520barbara brown taylor but she says i spent my whole life trying to be good but was that the
00:57:05.060same as being whole you know but she's kind of that book's so great but she's talking about
00:57:10.960a lot to do with Christianity and the church, but just that our society forces all the bad
00:57:17.780stuff into the wilderness, into the dark, and we don't look at those things. And that's not
00:57:23.640a way to live. Yeah. Because the only way for me to feel like I was being the person I wanted to
00:57:32.880be was when I started acknowledging the darkness in my life. And that was difficult because
00:57:39.980unlocking that and opening that up, you know, was very confronting and very, you know, it comes
00:57:49.300with a lot of guilt and shame. But without having done that, I probably still would be on a more
00:57:57.020selfish, more narrow minded path than I am right now. So I had to do the hard work of unpacking
00:58:05.240all of that and confronting all of that to be able to get to where I am now, which is
00:58:10.800a person who's much happier and much more content in life, but also enjoys my own presence
00:58:17.700and my own company, you know, a lot more than I did about five years ago.
00:58:35.240I mean you old story right like we're at this we're sitting at the longest night of the year
00:58:41.880like we're sitting drenched drenched in the darkness so um it really it it is like a an
00:58:49.700offer to us to to reach out into the dark and to be part of the whole web again and to not let
00:58:56.820patriarchy or whatever the fuck happened with the church break us from the wholeness of all that0.63
00:59:02.620Yeah. I think this is a very significant time of year because it was always, as a child, it was always my favorite time of the year, Christmas time.0.98
00:59:16.800And it was the time of the year where I felt like my family put everything aside to, you know, have a wonderful experience that we could all enjoy together.
00:59:28.040And then as an adult, looking back on Christmas time, I realized how much stress and trauma and how much like how many emotions pop up during the wintertime and during a holiday season.
00:59:44.940And it's informed a lot of my work with Ben De La Creme on our holiday shows that we.
00:59:52.480um i'm so excited to get into this go go go we um it was three years ago that we first
01:00:02.960came together to write um to jesus thanks for everything jinx and dayla which is the jinx and
01:00:09.520dayla um uh christmas experience um so we toured our show for two years um writing a new show every
01:00:17.480year first year it was to jesus thanks for everything jinx and dayla um the following
01:00:22.240year it was all i want for christmas is attention and this year i'm just like you can't see me those
01:00:30.160of you who are listening but i'm just like turning red because i'm like holding my breath waiting for
01:00:34.520jinx to say all i want for christmas is attention i died they had like they sent that in a group
01:00:39.780message asking what was the best title and all of the friends were like it has to be that one
01:00:44.260there's not all the other ones are great but it was like that is both of you in a nutshell and
01:00:48.500you're acknowledging it so that's good you know um and this year we are doing our first uh first
01:00:55.780full feature film in lieu of touring um and we we talked about how it was going to be 10 times more
01:01:03.000difficult to do a film this year um but we had to do it because we built up this tradition not only
01:01:09.860for our audience members who might have complicated relationships to the holiday season or have
01:01:17.780really need that escape during this time. But also for ourselves, it's extremely,
01:01:25.960it's essential to have this experience every year. And basically at the heart of our holiday
01:01:33.980shows every year is the idea of confronting what we were told this time of year needs to be
01:01:43.780versus what we want it to be and what it actually is. So Dayla is the character that is obsessed
01:01:53.840with Christmas, who is very much trying to have the Christmas we were told about on television
01:02:01.680and in movies. Whereas Jinx is more pragmatic and realistic. And her purpose is to poke holes
01:02:08.600in all of that. And in the end, it is always about figuring out the balance between Dayla
01:02:17.120is allowed to have that kind of Christmas experience and Jinx is allowed to poke holes
01:02:23.840in it. But they both can learn something from each other so that Christmas isn't what they're
01:02:30.360told it is or what they are told it isn't. It's just what they create for themselves. And so the
01:02:36.720story changes every year and the text changes every year, but that's the heart of the message
01:02:40.860every year is that really the only important thing about this time of year is that you create it for
01:02:50.860yourself and that you don't let rituals and traditions from past generations dictate how
01:02:56.960you choose to celebrate it now do you have any solstice rituals that you do um I think cooking
01:03:07.600you know I really cooking has always been my way to escape from work um it's the least
01:03:15.700like performing of anything I do in my life you know like video games are another escape for me
01:03:23.640but that's still very performative it's like stepping into a character and really like getting
01:03:28.500into that mindset so cooking is the only thing I kind of do alone and is 100 for other people
01:03:35.900um but it's also you know it's for myself because I find it very therapeutic but
01:03:41.640the end product is to give to everyone else you know um we um we also always yeah yeah
01:03:49.820Much like the Christmas show, which, oh my goodness, what's the clever title?
01:07:18.140where do we go? All you have to do is go to jinxanddela.com. That's J-I-N-K-X. I
01:07:26.140paid extra for the K, so you have to use it. J-I-N-K-X-A-N-D-D-E-L-A.com. And it's kind of
01:07:38.800a pay-per-view setup. But once you pay for the film, you get to watch it as many times as you
01:07:44.060want. And it's all streamable. And I should say it's worth pointing out that we were diligent
01:07:52.740and obsessive over safety and health protocols throughout filming. Everyone who participated
01:08:00.360in the film was required to self-quarantine two weeks before and throughout the entire production
01:08:05.900of the film. Anyone who wasn't on camera was masked at all times. And we had a person who
01:08:13.160as our health and safety czar, whose job it was to go break up little groups of people huddled
01:08:19.140together talking, to walk throughout the set several times a day with hand sanitizer,
01:08:24.280making sure that we ate all our meals socially distanced. And it was, you know, it was definitely
01:08:32.760a huge anxiety going into it. But we did everything we possibly could to treat this
01:08:39.860um, this self-produced film as if it was, you know, at the standards of, um, Hollywood, uh,
01:08:49.220every union standard was met. You know, we were, we made sure that there was, um, health and safety
01:08:56.140was at the forefront of everything throughout production and no one got sick during. So,
01:09:01.180you know, it was kind of one of those things where we had to wait long enough after filming,
01:09:06.300um to start really promoting it because we had to make sure like did everything go the way we
01:09:12.960planned did we keep everyone safe before we start bragging about making a film you know
01:09:17.480and i can i can boast that everyone stayed safe and healthy throughout the entire production
01:09:22.220um i was gonna ask i have something that i've been reading for the last few years again from
01:09:31.100learning to walk in the dark for solstice but um if you two had any rituals that you do maybe
01:09:36.400privately or with your family um the only thing we didn't mention is that we usually set up a
01:09:41.060giant altar that's like really fun on our table um we're usually like a day late
01:09:46.360celebrating things but that's sort of normal in our house like the actual festival day is usually
01:09:53.240our day to like clean and set up and then we kind of move on from there but that's our like natural
01:09:59.220kind of path so we just kind of go with it yeah kenny um kenny is also very creatively minded
01:10:06.740you know i think as being um a technical person in our productions people often disregard kenny's
01:10:13.840own creativity and artistry um so he very much asserts himself in in ways that he can to assert
01:10:21.820his own creativity and artistry into our lives to you know make sure that he's expressing himself
01:10:27.560as well. And I would say that every season, his altar is one of my favorite forms of Kenny's
01:10:33.860expression, self-expression. So at the changing of every season, Kenny creates an altar on
01:10:40.920our living room table that just signifies, you know, stepping into the new season.
01:10:47.900And it normally includes reference to Greek mythology, which is a common point for the two
01:10:54.640of us and um he's normally chosen a patron goddess um or a saint that is who was originally
01:11:02.500a goddess that has been like um co-opted by religion oh yeah i have a lot of like statues
01:11:08.600from goodwill that we've sort of just crafted into other beings from you know like the virgin
01:11:14.300mary or something like that so we'll pull one of those that like has some sort of significance uh
01:11:20.940yeah for that and that's like something fun we do that creates like conversation around it and
01:11:26.300for us we don't always like doing the traditional holidays that we grew up with but that still
01:11:32.520gets having like that gets the same feeling of like awe or excitement um especially I like to
01:11:39.040do what my mom would do sometimes is like decorate or make a ritual setting at night so people wake
01:11:46.860up to it because I feel like there's a lot of magic there with the house being different when
01:11:50.580someone wakes up and i love that feeling yeah there's a different smell in the air during
01:11:55.940solstice um and i think we both grew up my my grandmother was very much a kitchen witch and
01:12:03.100most of the ways that i practice my kitchen witchery is stuff that i learned from my grandmother that
01:12:08.640i've adapted um to fit my own life a lot of that's changing recipes to be more health conscious
01:12:15.520or include the ingredients that are more important to me than the ingredients I grew up with.
01:12:21.920And I think the smell of like cinnamon and clove and those warming spices
01:12:30.320are one of the biggest signifiers of the winter season for me.
01:12:36.520So Kenny oftentimes starts the day by boiling some homemade potpourri
01:12:43.520and oils that he'll put together in a pot that will scent the entire house and then that inspires
01:12:49.720me to cook things with similar scents so that we're just continually generating um the the
01:12:56.420scent of warm spices that we associate with this time of year yeah the smells of the season are
01:13:05.800very particular that's that's one of the things like when Risa and I first started hanging out
01:13:10.980you know she sort of knew me as this like a counterculture punk you know kind of person
01:13:16.200and then I think Risa tell me if I'm wrong you were quite quite surprised to learn that I
01:13:21.460fucking love Christmas that I'm like Christmas crazy like because to me there was degree yeah0.79
01:13:28.640the degree to which you love Christmas is definitely a delight and a surprise and then0.98
01:13:34.440every year since then we would get together and like punk scream Christmas carols and go
01:13:38.420watch like the the strangest the strangest small town Christmas parade in our old neighborhood
01:13:44.740and that was all really like fun and then always at the end I would be surprised maybe not by year
01:13:50.900six but like by by Amy's like screaming glee trying to get Santa Claus to wave at her with
01:13:57.920with like wholehearted belief that if Santa Claus waved at her then her year was blessed you know
01:14:03.980just like a four-year-old just made my year yeah I was surprised by that well the reason being and
01:14:12.340I think Jinx Kenneth you can probably relate to that is that you know the secular version of
01:14:17.140Christmas to me there's like the solstice which is Yule and then there's like the Christian thing
01:14:20.920that I grew up with with the you know birth of the baby Jesus but then there's like secular0.98
01:14:26.340bonanza of absurd bizarre like a total upsetting of the status quo our soundtrack changes
01:14:33.840the color there's a color scheme there and all these things that we as a society just completely
01:14:38.500are like yep now it's time to hang lights all over our houses and that to me is like so exciting
01:14:45.600that as a collective like we've decided that this is like like it's basically like drag up your house
01:14:51.540yeah definitely pull a tree inside like all of these completely absurd and and so that's what's
01:14:59.500gleeful to me about it is the absurdity of it and the general acceptance of the absurdity
01:15:04.860yeah i think that has always been my favorite aspect of christmas and especially now that i
01:15:11.440tackle christmas every year in my work um it's that whether we know it or not we are participating
01:15:19.780in centuries old um rituals and traditions and even though we uh you know like in america
01:15:28.900Especially we've been conditioned to believe these are Christian traditions, which is no, that it has been co-opted from much more ancient rituals and practices.
01:15:40.420And so my favorite thing is knowing that all these people who think that they're celebrating Jesus are also celebrating things that existed before the domination of Christianity in our world.
01:15:57.400And that's what I like to point out in my work with Ben de la Creme.
01:16:02.400We always have a section of our show that is Jinx pointing out the roots of these traditions.
01:16:11.080You know, in our live show, it was a whole section of the show where I just sat there.
01:16:16.080And, you know, some of it was real and some of it was comedic, but sat there and she would list a Christmas tradition and I would tell her the origin of it.
01:16:25.960And it would always start in the real, you know, like, you know, wreaths and trees being part of the celebration of Saturnalia and stuff like that.
01:16:38.060And then it would go into the absurd, like, why do we cranberry sauce?
01:16:43.380Oh, that's to signify draining the goat's blood.
01:16:47.700It always goes into a comedic place that's not really rooted in reality.
01:16:52.820but well it works well because ben's character doesn't want to talk about blood yeah yeah she
01:16:58.660doesn't she doesn't want to talk about anything she's scary and um so um and it's this part of
01:17:06.280the show is normally um accompanied by a theremin or some other kind of witchy instrument and i'll
01:17:12.460give you one spoiler for the film but it's my favorite the the witch section of the film is
01:17:17.340actually quite small, just because you can only squeeze so many ideas and themes into a film
01:17:24.240that's an hour long. But my favorite is it's Dayla trying to accept and I can say tolerate in this
01:17:36.120sense. It's trying to tolerate different ways of celebrating the time of year. And she's talking to
01:17:43.700the spirit of her grandmother. And her grandmother's like, well, this doesn't feel very Christmas-y.
01:17:48.740This doesn't feel very Jesus-y. And she goes, shh, Nana, we have to appreciate everyone's
01:17:54.540different ways to celebrate this time of year. Cut to me. I'm suddenly dressed fully as a witch.
01:18:00.400I'm playing a lute and I'm singing, mother of magic, take my blood and fill my womb. Hecate,
01:18:06.580hecate, hecate, hecate. And it's just so absurd. And not actually how I celebrate Yule or solstice
01:18:12.800or anything but just to show you the opposing sides of this time of year i can't wait to see
01:18:21.240this i cannot wait to be i like that because jarek the person wouldn't like you said be as
01:18:28.280performative but there's no way jinx the character as a witch would not be shoving it down
01:18:33.640both jinx and dayla struggle with the fact that the other one is trying to shove their
01:18:41.720way of celebrating the holiday down the other one's throat, but they both can't see that they're
01:18:46.740doing it to one another. They're both so convinced that the other one is doing it to them that they
01:18:51.300can't see the way they're doing it to someone else. And that's what I love is the heart of
01:18:56.760our message is it doesn't matter if you celebrate Christmas in a secular Jesus-y way,
01:19:01.820or if you celebrate Christmas in a more spiritual, ancient, witchy way,
01:19:09.240And the best way to celebrate is to let everyone bring their own rituals and traditions into it.
01:19:14.800And also identify the traditions and rituals that help us and the traditions and rituals that hinder us and allow ourselves to either adapt or let go of the ones that hinder us.
01:20:14.740Our noisy day has now descended with the sun beyond our sight.
01:20:18.180In the silence of our praying place, we close the door upon the hectic joys and fears, the accomplishment and anguish of the week we left behind.
01:20:25.820What was moments ago the substance of our life has become a memory.
01:20:28.940what we did must now be woven into what we are on this day we shall not do but be we are to walk
01:20:35.860the path of our humanity no longer ride unseen through a world we do not touch and only vaguely
01:20:40.800sense no longer can we tear the world apart to make our own fire on this day heat warmth light
01:31:18.140okay amanda palmer who inspired me to play the ukulele um says in her song ukulele anthem
01:31:30.000anthem play it badly play it loudly so i used to really freak out over mistakes and now they
01:31:36.460just make me giggle and I go on with the song you know Risa and I met met backstage at a ukulele
01:31:44.180showcase so the ukulele is actually like a very very like near and dear instrument to us and also
01:31:50.860for playing and making mistakes and experiment oh yeah that's what that's what we all do together
01:31:56.120that was so beautiful Jinx thank you oh thank you and thank you Kenneth so much for that reading
01:32:02.800i will cherish i will cherish these and i know our listeners will too thank you so much for
01:32:09.040spending your you will tie moments with us this year thank you so much thank you jinx and dayla.com
01:32:16.420find out everything and follow us on instagram the jinx and dayla holiday special on instagram
01:32:22.180and um um hopefully sorry hold on just the holiday special have its own instagram account
01:32:28.240Yes, it does. The Jinx and Dayla holiday special on Instagram. Or you can follow me. I'm the Jinx, J-I-N-K-X on Instagram. Ben is Ben de la Creme on Instagram. We're posting about it constantly. So if you want to find the information, it is readily available somewhere out there.
01:32:52.400and the official missing witches yuletide solstice ritual for 2020 will be to watch
01:33:00.260this film and to make ourselves a cup of hot tea and and to think of you and this moment and
01:33:06.980your reading and your song and again so much gratitude so much gratitude to you both thank
01:33:12.300you so much thank you yeah we love you thank you blessed you all everybody blessed you all
01:33:22.400O Yule Time, O Solstice, O Longest Night of the Year.
01:33:30.940We gather together to share our hope and our fear.