Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - A Mainstream Comedy That Delivers

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00:01:34.840 Hi, I'm Kate Berlant.

00:01:36.300 I'm Jacqueline Novak.

00:01:37.400 And this is POOG, an ongoing conversation about wellness between two obsessive friends.

00:01:42.120 Two untamable intellects.

00:01:43.880 This is our hobby. 0.97

00:01:44.740 This is our hell.

00:01:45.600 This is our naked desire for free products.

00:01:47.880 This is POOG.

00:01:49.300 Today's topic, loosely speaking.

00:01:51.660 Dewpoint, flat kombucha, soap brow.

00:01:55.300 All right, let's go. We're in because I have like 60 things.

00:01:57.960 We're freaking in, the recording. 0.97

00:02:01.060 I just want to say, so we're recording right now on, you know, on Poog Day, right?

00:02:09.540 And my mother, it's like, just I get a text that says, Poog just started.

00:02:17.100 Okay.

00:02:18.000 And so I'm like, okay, she's going to hear me depressed at the house, right?

00:02:21.480 Oh, wow. Okay.

00:02:22.220 And then she goes, I'm sure coming home is a bit of a trigger.

00:02:27.020 I'm like, Mother Noah.

00:02:29.600 Oh, mommy.

00:02:31.040 You know, hopefully she got to that part.

00:02:33.680 Of course.

00:02:34.780 Anyway, I'm like, Noah.

00:02:36.360 That's so funny.

00:02:37.900 Wow.

00:02:38.560 Well, I'm on migraine medicine.

00:02:41.720 I'm on Trexamate, unfortunately, which is my, as you know, I'll just say that the shot,

00:02:46.980 I botched my injection of Amavig. And I'm devastated because I'm remembering these

00:02:52.500 hormonal migraines and what it means because I'm about to get my period. And I forgot. It's

00:02:57.040 amazing how we adjust to pain, learn to live with it. And then once it's eradicated, you can't

00:03:01.280 believe, like, I'm like, oh, I remember this feeling. I would get these migraines for three

00:03:06.520 days around my period for my forever. Like sometimes three days, rarely four, but three

00:03:12.740 just expected it and i cannot fucking believe i lived like this for so long and you know of course 0.64

00:03:18.860 i'm you know really upset i have a show tomorrow um and i'm like well i'll be on my medicine which 0.78

00:03:25.340 means that i won't be as sharp and i will not be able to conjure language and i will fail

00:03:30.240 i hear you i hear you i mean the question of when did i have this recently 0.52

00:03:40.920 holy shit it's always funny when whenever it happens when recording poog and a package is 0.93

00:03:46.540 dropped off because it's a nine out of ten poog related yeah ding dong ding dong daddy's home 0.99

00:03:53.200 poog delivery yeah um anyway there's actually nothing you don't need to reflect on the migraine

00:03:59.060 stuff it's so boring oh no but i was just gonna i was just gonna say i the other day what was up

00:04:04.520 with me i can't something was up i mean not not not the depression day but when i was performing

00:04:09.720 I mean, there was something that made me go, oh, I think I was just really tired.

00:04:12.140 And I was like, yeah, so the crowd's going to suffer, I guess.

00:04:14.680 And it's like this weird thing.

00:04:16.180 And it's like, well, that is part of it.

00:04:18.540 Like.

00:04:19.040 They get you where you are.

00:04:19.920 You never promised.

00:04:21.320 Yeah, you never promised not, you know, you never promised to be a robot.

00:04:24.820 You never.

00:04:25.040 Also, it's like, you know, I know this.

00:04:28.120 I know that even if you're tired, you're still bringing it as am I.

00:04:31.260 It's more for me just.

00:04:32.640 Yeah.

00:04:33.040 I don't like being inebriated in any way on stage.

00:04:37.540 and I don't so I just don't like feeling like my faculties aren't all there which is depressing to

00:04:44.340 me but hey you know what this means the bar is low it's like and then I can never bring it up

00:04:51.360 because it it almost seems like I'm trying to lower the bar you know by the way I'm on migraine

00:04:55.380 medicine it's like no one fucking cares I would never say that cut to me saying it every four

00:05:00.540 minutes for an hour um I know I mean it is sort of funny well yeah those rules of engagement 0.97

00:05:07.460 of the crowd are meant to be. Oh, I have huge news.

00:05:09.880 I forgot to tell you. Well, it's not huge news. Fuck.

00:05:11.960 I'll give you something later that 1.00

00:05:13.600 I learned that you probably

00:05:15.520 already knew this. I was trying to refer to the

00:05:17.560 rounded martini glass last week. 1.00

00:05:19.080 My friend Liz Pong, genius. Coop. 1.00

00:05:21.660 Oh, of course, of course.

00:05:24.280 And I even checked the pronunciation

00:05:25.800 online. It's not coo, it's coop.

00:05:27.980 Coop. Cute.

00:05:29.460 Yeah, well, there's an E at the end and it's certainly

00:05:31.460 not coupe, which we felt like would be the

00:05:33.500 only option. No, yeah.

00:05:35.300 And then, you didn't

00:05:37.340 even clock this oh i mean i thought that what is that it's nothing um just so everyone knows she

00:05:43.140 has a splint is it a fake wrist splint it's a target purchased you know one and i don't even

00:05:49.840 know if it's what happened though if it's the right splint is not the issue it's what lies

00:05:53.820 beneath it once again i you're like it's target i'm like no what happened but you're like is that

00:06:01.160 a real splint or something i thought maybe it was a joke splint oh i thought i'll take that for my

00:06:06.480 act actually yes you should well medical gear is always a killer um so it's it you know it brings

00:06:15.980 me back to this question so I have new wrist pain okay and I don't know what happened okay

00:06:21.960 I feel like I sometimes don't notice in the moment an injury and I feel like I I was having

00:06:28.940 some weirdness and then I feel like I did a little like a light sort of wrist fall at one moment

00:06:34.940 like landed on the wrist a little hard but just kept on going and then um and now it's like really

00:06:41.160 kind of weak in certain directions and I start googling and I just I've realized

00:06:46.580 pain is not treatable or diagnosable and it's health so I'm like I want an x-ray right and I'm

00:06:54.880 like cool so six appointments to get that like how the hell I was like I want an x-ray machine at

00:07:01.820 home i just want to know yeah i i'm sorry i know it's a big theme of poo okay but honestly

00:07:08.860 you having an in-home x-ray how much is an x-ray x-ray like a small x-ray machine cost like

00:07:13.920 400k i'm like how much does this stuff or or like or 800 x-ray machine all right what's my real

00:07:24.800 guess let's see my guess is like home but there's not going to be an at-home x-ray machine there is

00:07:32.280 you're kidding you're kidding there's everything at home you see affordable mini x-ray machine

00:07:37.460 in-house yeah micro c revolutionaries what future of x-ray what perv is i'm seeing 5k 6k 2k no

00:07:45.900 you're kidding 1k no digital x-ray equipment digital x-ray what does that even mean gotta

00:07:51.320 i'd do it all day who would need it at home who would need that at home i guess you would need

00:07:57.820 it at home if you had some kind of bone issue well imagine oh sure i was like sports medicine

00:08:04.620 yeah like some you know okay i have to get my energy like yeah all right sorry okay um bring

00:08:14.600 mine, I'll bring mine to the table as well. Boom. Boom. I have some. Oh, I also, yeah,

00:08:20.880 go, go, go, go. Sorry. No, you know, I just, someone pointed out to us at, you go. Someone

00:08:26.800 pointed out to us, oh God, I hate in television shows, you know, you know, I have something

00:08:30.840 to tell you they both say it at the same time. No, you go, you go. Okay, you go first. And

00:08:34.820 then the other one goes. I'm in love with Brian. Yes. And then what were you going to

00:08:39.660 say? I'm in love with Brian. Oh, nothing. No, but it's always like, oh, nothing. And

00:08:44.220 the friend accepts the oh nothing right right anyway which would never happen yeah yeah totally

00:08:48.040 so where are you gonna say oh nothing just nothing i it's a falsehood oh i forgot i have an

00:08:53.960 appointment at four i should be off that's not it my mother's coming in i go did kate say the thing

00:08:58.800 she goes no but i'm sure that kicks it in no that's not it it started in minneapolis i reject

00:09:05.140 this narrative yeah the depression narrative of being home for the holidays it's clinical woman

00:09:10.400 um all right well i have some drama i have some some drama yeah which is that i got into a heated

00:09:16.680 well no it was on a heated exchange i came in with heat so our sweet listeners may remember

00:09:24.000 on last week's episode i was devastated by the continual flatness of gt kombucha which is my

00:09:31.500 it's my preferred brand it's the one that i've been loyal to for since 1904 i've been drinking

00:09:36.740 this kombucha forever i and i really appreciate the fact that it's raw organic and that there's 0.96

00:09:42.040 no cane sugar i've been through this what fucking who cares i'm talking about it's good 0.89

00:09:47.140 after bottle i'm opening it it's flat the devastation of that okay and so then are you 0.98

00:09:55.220 going to tell them what they said because yes i actually predicted they were going to say this

00:09:58.460 of course i'm going to tell them okay so i after last week's poog i buy gt kombucha i bring it home

00:10:06.520 it's no it's worse than that i was in the car i was really excited i got into the front seat

00:10:11.040 i go to crack it open for my 20 minute drive not a fizz produce no effervescence and i was like

00:10:18.120 are you fucking kidding me i was really upset in the car well it's about as heated as it got but 0.76

00:10:23.460 still that's a lot for a kombucha reaction like that just apple juice or whatever it's just no 0.98

00:10:27.720 no no worse it takes like something that's flat which doesn't mean there's no carbonation it means

00:10:32.160 the absence of carbonation it's a whisper of carbonation it's the promise of carbonation

00:10:35.820 without, without what it is. You know, it's the, it's the shadow. It's not the form joke where

00:10:41.580 sorry, the elevators out of, you know, sorry, the escalators out of order, like, you know,

00:10:46.380 escalator have become stairs. Yeah. Yeah. It's okay. It's not, no, it's not that it's like,

00:10:51.580 it's laughing at you the whole time. And by the way, it's undrinkable for me, it's undrinkable

00:10:55.980 because I'm just like, I don't want that. That's just, I, it, to me, it renders it completely

00:11:00.820 undrinkable so i was devastated yeah three days later i'm at another health food store i go let's

00:11:08.660 go again you think it's gonna be and i go and i think surely no i just go surely different supply

00:11:13.660 numbers are in my favor well i'm gonna get another flat one and guess what happened so it's flat

00:11:18.240 i immediately i wish i could see your face i know you would be like

00:11:22.000 flat again no no i was i was so upset so i go i'm not taking this anymore i'm not taking this

00:11:31.820 lying down like the generations of women before me i get my phone for my personal account i didn't

00:11:39.660 use poog's name on this i love when you i love this and i i love you in this and i i actually

00:11:45.200 want it's really embarrassing it's really embarrassing but i i dm'd them and i was

00:11:49.020 like high you know long time and I didn't even go to them by the way your company has sent me merch

00:11:53.940 you know I'm in the family right I just said like maybe I should have but I just said what's going

00:11:59.260 on and I was like it's just devastating I feel like I have to switch brands and guess what GT

00:12:03.940 I bought a competing brand today at the market you had to because I thought yeah and I got okay 0.99

00:12:09.420 a little cane sugar like what's that gonna do I want fizz motherfucker like okay so so I 0.97

00:12:16.760 i love bubbles i love okay anyway so i said that i wait i wait i wait they respond they go hi 0.96

00:12:25.400 a flat kombucha does not mean it's gone bad like if there's anything else we can do to help and i

00:12:32.960 said and this is when i really but there's more when i really took off i said wait but you're

00:12:37.260 leaving out something key it's not that it's gone bad okay this is what i was thinking i was like

00:12:41.960 Well, you know, they said, and this is what I thought, it hasn't yet fermented.

00:12:47.800 It's too early in the process.

00:12:49.320 The fermentation releases the gas, creates that gas.

00:12:52.760 So you know when wine...

00:12:53.600 Why didn't you ferment it, then put it in the bottle, folks?

00:12:57.580 Yeah, wine...

00:12:59.160 I mean, I could have it a little bit wrong, but that was the spirit of it.

00:13:01.600 She said fresh batch.

00:13:03.440 Hi, a flat kombucha doesn't mean it's a bad kombucha.

00:13:07.760 You just happened to get your hands on a fresh batch.

00:13:10.460 Can you believe that?

00:13:10.980 as i read it i still thought i was not believing what you said oh thank you by the way i thought

00:13:16.400 you were now you were gonna pretend don't go talking to me oh sweetie you got a fresh batch 0.94

00:13:21.420 well then why don't you put a goddamn sticker on the ones going by the way we haven't let this do 0.93

00:13:27.180 what it's supposed to do in our factories we're gonna let you do the work if i wanted to do the 0.98

00:13:32.740 work i'd make my own goddamn kombucha right kombucha kombucha yeah i don't have a live 0.92

00:13:39.740 mother brewing underneath my sink with the mother classic um with the mother you know and in uh 0.98

00:13:48.420 wait i want to talk about eyebrows in a minute but hold on hold on hold on wait i have so much

00:13:51.740 to say about this no yeah it's like um if they sent you the blue cheese while it was still

00:13:56.280 while it didn't yet have its blue oh you know okay it's an aged manchego or whatever i just

00:14:02.920 you know i don't hey it doesn't taste it's not going to a play it's not going to a play

00:14:07.680 and getting the understudy. That's something else. This is, you know, this is, this is way worse.

00:14:11.700 And so I said, I said to them, I said, you know what? I wasn't worried. It had gone bad. I'm just

00:14:17.140 really upset. And I was like, the effervescence is kind of the thing. Right. And then I said,

00:14:22.340 sorry for being a bitch. And then they said, don't be sorry. We want you to love our kombucha. We 0.99

00:14:28.680 would love for another chance. You would love for another chance. And yet where's the request for

00:14:33.660 my address I've given you where's the where's the request for you know and so GT this is me saying

00:14:39.920 to you I've been hurt and I've hemorrhaged I mean we're talking about four dollars a bottle it's a

00:14:45.920 little under four dollars a bottle I've hemorrhaged cash folks in search of that effervescence and I

00:14:52.760 and I'm entitled to it and I and guess what I'm gonna do now now I'm just really putting salt in

00:14:57.380 the wound i'm going to crack open a competing brand on air hang on okay let's do it i can't

00:15:03.580 wait okay it's going to get a thing wait i'm going to do a an audio log right now of the

00:15:08.680 things i want to address i want to talk about eyebrows because i'm looking at my own while

00:15:11.260 we're talking i want to talk about um um all right i forgot all right blue cheese oh you

00:15:19.600 saying that okay i'm not proud of this this is hurtful this is straight this is me this is me

00:15:23.520 actively trying to hurt to i don't know what a brand i don't want to hurt no i don't want to

00:15:28.260 hurt a brand this is still gt this oh this is still gt this is a huge ad promotion though also

00:15:33.420 because i'm telling you that i was loyal forever times loyal for loyal forever for gt okay so this

00:15:39.180 is no one's gonna forget the cape berlant drinks gt is all i'm saying okay this is you know what

00:15:42.960 i mean this is better booch i'm cracking it open hibiscus oh let's hear what sound it's gonna make

00:15:47.040 Get her booch. 1.00

00:15:48.720 Oh, yeah, baby.

00:15:49.940 Did you hear the exhale?

00:15:52.940 Did you hear the exhale?

00:15:53.980 Oh, wait.

00:15:55.000 You know, I was thinking about bubbles. 0.99

00:15:56.820 When you were talking about it, you're like, I want fucking fizz or whatever. 0.98

00:16:00.920 And I just think bubbles. 0.97

00:16:03.600 And I wonder when seltzer, carbonated water came to the scene.

00:16:07.760 Because doesn't it feel like the dream of the 1920s? 0.99

00:16:10.420 Didn't the Jews make it? 1.00

00:16:11.860 Fizzy man, fizzy man. 1.00

00:16:13.240 Oh, yeah.

00:16:13.540 Okay, like fizzy man at the World's Fair.

00:16:16.220 Who did it? 0.94

00:16:16.660 Because I associate seltzer with Judaism. 1.00

00:16:20.280 It's pretty spectacular. 1.00

00:16:22.500 Interesting.

00:16:23.680 See, but I sort of, 1940s kind of, let's see.

00:16:29.200 Like it's got that quality of, what's his name, you know,

00:16:33.680 the chocolate factory.

00:16:36.520 Willy Wonka?

00:16:37.180 Willy Wonka.

00:16:37.920 William Wonka?

00:16:38.900 Who invented?

00:16:40.600 Bill Wonka? 0.98

00:16:41.440 Or like soda water, folk soda.

00:16:43.140 Oh, wow.

00:16:43.780 Oh, because did they make it out of baking soda or something?

00:16:46.340 okay wait hold on um joseph priestly 1767 an englishman

00:16:52.780 three years later a swedish chemist bergman um happy hanukkah by the way it's begun

00:17:01.740 oh my god happy you know that hanukkah um independently and here it is another invention

00:17:08.240 by accident folks um do you see what i'm doing by the way i got a soap brow um type product what

00:17:19.380 the hell is soap brow do you see it okay that's exciting that's fun so soap brow is this concept

00:17:26.300 of in the kind of you know making your brows thick and tussled or you know uh voluminous

00:17:33.780 and that whole thing people were taking a little brush a little toothpaste a little toothbrush

00:17:39.100 and soap and certain kinds of soap were known to be better than others to and you use that and it

00:17:45.220 really okay and then and then there were like products like soap brow you know and it's like

00:17:49.600 specifically designed for that so I got some right now and I'm kind of doing it because

00:17:52.880 I did the brow lamination as we'll all recall yeah and so I got this actual product yeah it's

00:17:59.760 kind of waxy. Okay, I would really like to try that. This one's Revolution, Makeup Revolution

00:18:03.720 London. And I'm, so

00:18:07.460 I'm on a search because you'll recall I got

00:18:10.580 You were abused. Brow lamination. And I got

00:18:15.700 it cheap and fast and I was very excited. And you get what you pay for, don't you?

00:18:19.700 They went curly and yeah, they went crazy and curly and

00:18:23.620 just, they were fried, okay? And then I did some research and found that

00:18:27.620 you have to get this specific one keratin lash infusion okay and then I've been trying to source

00:18:32.600 practitioners who utilize keratin lash infusion all over the country and I just it's just weighing

00:18:38.920 on me because I want them again because I felt like when I got my brows laminated which to be

00:18:43.060 clear folks kind of separates them and and sort of makes them fuller it sounds like it would be

00:18:49.780 the opposite sounds like a smoothing yeah actually takes it all and sort of and I never felt more

00:18:55.740 fabulous and i want it again i would i'm ready to change my brows i've been going just letting

00:19:02.100 them be wild and i had this um wonderful woman who would do some very light plucking but i feel

00:19:10.420 like i want to do some more plucking i feel like i'm the wildness i once had someone on a sitcom

00:19:16.080 try to pluck my eyebrows in the chair can you imagine oh wow she goes let's get these out i go 1.00

00:19:20.980 keep your goddamn NBC hands off me. Okay. I have, I have maximum eight lines in this thing. Okay. 1.00

00:19:28.780 You're not changing my face. You're not changing my face on a, on a, on a freaking multi-cam. 0.96

00:19:35.380 You're not making a body modification. You're not making a body modification when the camera 0.93

00:19:39.640 never gets close. Yeah. And also if, if that's so essential for the character, cover it up,

00:19:45.420 cover up the hair with makeup, like, like a tattoo. No, no, no. It was, she almost went for it.

00:19:49.080 And then she kind of insulted me, of course, and had to be like,

00:19:52.200 oh, no, I intentionally don't pluck them. 1.00

00:19:55.540 You bastard. 1.00

00:19:57.100 Okay, we need to... 1.00

00:19:57.780 Wait, when did that happen to me?

00:19:59.380 Oh, yeah, I got a, I got a, I'm not even going to go into it

00:20:02.280 because it's been covered so many times.

00:20:03.720 Just, I got a, you really enjoyed it. 0.99

00:20:05.860 Oh, shit. 0.99

00:20:07.480 Soup moment on the plane. 1.00

00:20:08.520 Are your phones ringing?

00:20:09.340 Do you want to answer on air? 0.87

00:20:10.160 Sorry, my girlfriend's trying to FaceTime me.

00:20:10.760 No.

00:20:15.860 Oh, but the eucalyptus, I just wanted to say,

00:20:17.600 so we talked all about the dream of the eucalyptus people got on board okay to putting

00:20:22.180 eucalyptus in their shower oh to have a eucalyptus steam people got excited and then what did we

00:20:27.340 learn what did we learn here's what we learned and i'm not actually worried if you're for if

00:20:30.760 you're in california also is what i heard your eucalyptus is likely organic but if you're going

00:20:35.240 to a florist to a supermarket the eucalyptus that you're buying is possibly covered in pesticides

00:20:40.860 who knows what so if you bring that into your shower and you steam it you're inhaling all of

00:20:45.280 that i would argue that and this is what's devastating placebo no what i'm gonna argue is

00:20:50.840 that and i dream of i've yet to find like an all natural conditioner the point is guess what if

00:21:00.840 your shampoo and conditioner aren't natural you're also doing a steam inhalation of all those toxins

00:21:05.800 so whatever you bring in the shower you are doing an inhalation bath but but but i see what i see

00:21:12.980 what they're saying though that so the idea being whatever's on the eucalyptus is what you're

00:21:16.520 inhaling and steaming so wild forge your own eucalyptus or ask where the purveyors of eucalyptus

00:21:22.900 where it's from but if you know such an embarrassment of riches to be here in california

00:21:26.800 with eucalyptus is just rolling down the streets but um i reckon i may do a eucalyptus i know it's

00:21:37.720 kind of just business but i felt it was it was necessary and then um i found this kind of um

00:21:44.220 interesting but there was so much like spiritually and philosophically i was hoping to get into and

00:21:49.640 about what oh i'm pmsing i'm still really all right let's get into it because it's a creative

00:21:56.140 phase i got really emotional i had a strong emotional reaction to something which i think

00:22:00.540 was actually valid but it felt particularly it just hit me harder and i was like oh right i'm

00:22:07.000 also probably going to start gushing blood in the next 12 hours well let's wait but I don't

00:22:13.240 want you to forget this is actually a good way to address it's creative and it's good that I

00:22:16.740 have a show when I'm premenstrual and here's what you need to remember absolutely okay and also it's

00:22:22.500 creative you are um so the tidying up getting rid of things energy okay it can be really big

00:22:31.580 I have that right now.

00:22:32.500 It's as if spiritually you know that you're preparing for the bleed

00:22:36.820 and that you're going to go into the tent soon.

00:22:39.080 You're going to go deep into the deep unconscious shadow, whatever,

00:22:44.180 and you know you're going to descend there,

00:22:46.060 so it's almost like you're taking care of business before the death, so to speak.

00:22:49.220 Oh, love it. I love this.

00:22:50.780 Isn't that nice?

00:22:51.220 I love this.

00:22:52.460 So let that, let it be, I think of it like creativity isn't always generative, right?

00:23:00.880 Creativity, of course, is also the knife chopping away.

00:23:04.120 That which, I mean, sculpture alone, you know, is to remove.

00:23:08.620 Oh, of course.

00:23:09.300 Well, Marble, you're freeing the sculpture from Marble.

00:23:12.900 You're freeing the woman from the slab.

00:23:14.200 Yes, I saw an angel in the stone.

00:23:16.000 I saw an angel in the stone and I carved to set her free.

00:23:20.740 I can't wait to get out.

00:23:22.900 We should go to break, though.

00:23:24.080 We should.

00:23:25.220 Yeah.

00:23:25.980 Let's go to break.

00:23:26.840 I do want to show you this hotel room if possible,

00:23:28.960 but we'll talk about that after.

00:23:30.220 I have a lot to say.

00:23:33.220 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:23:37.280 It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea.

00:23:42.540 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Trainor, disappeared from a commune.

00:23:46.440 It was hard to wrap your head around.

00:23:47.780 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:23:51.400 No, I am not your guru.

00:23:54.820 And back then, I lied to my parents.

00:23:57.820 I lied to police.

00:23:59.080 I lied to everybody.

00:23:59.860 There were years, Ryder, where I could not say your name.

00:24:03.100 I've decided to go back to my hometown in Northern California,

00:24:05.740 interview my friends, family, talk to police, journalists,

00:24:08.560 whomever I can, to try to find out what actually happened.

00:24:11.900 Isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods

00:24:14.820 and not the obvious boyfriend?

00:24:16.500 They have had this case for 30 years. 0.92

00:24:19.420 I'll teach you sons of a** to come around here and my wife. 0.90

00:24:22.480 Boom, boom. 0.97

00:24:23.760 This is The Red Weather.

00:24:26.780 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app,

00:24:29.240 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:24:33.660 Crook and Chase Nashville chats with the coolest cat in country music.

00:24:37.580 He is edgy. He's fun. He is Chase Matthews.

00:24:40.920 Keith Urban helped make him a global sensation last year,

00:24:43.660 but it's his recent number one hit darling to put Chase on the map

00:24:46.660 and launched a fun and difficult conversation about lovers who cheat and lie.

00:24:51.920 That's why I'm scared to get married. You're giving me trust issues, brother.

00:24:54.820 Crook and Chase Nashville chats with Chase Matthews.

00:24:57.480 So listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

00:25:00.860 or wherever you listen to podcasts.

00:25:08.360 And we're back.

00:25:09.460 Okay, so I, Hanukkah, I Have a Desire, Sex and the City,

00:25:16.620 the reboot is airing next week, and I already can't,

00:25:20.240 I had a show that night, I canceled it.

00:25:23.960 Are you serious?

00:25:24.700 Not like a show that's just me, but like a set,

00:25:27.100 like I was doing a set on someone else's show

00:25:28.900 no but I mean you cancelled

00:25:30.560 something that was on the calendar

00:25:33.520 because TV was

00:25:35.360 dropping that night, that's cool

00:25:36.760 yeah because it's important to me

00:25:38.280 I didn't know you were so excited

00:25:39.980 yes of course I am, yeah I mean for sure

00:25:42.480 and also because I need the night to

00:25:45.180 I'm building a whole latke

00:25:46.780 martini menu

00:25:49.020 around the night

00:25:49.980 great

00:25:51.940 and by the way for anyone listening who's a friend

00:25:53.900 it's only myself and John early

00:25:55.860 It's not, there isn't a party going on that people aren't invited to.

00:25:59.440 Well, if by someone listening, if you mean anyone who's listening, by a friend, you mean me. 1.00

00:26:06.160 Are you a sex in the city whore? 1.00

00:26:08.200 I saw the pause. 1.00

00:26:09.360 I mean, obviously I've seen it all.

00:26:10.740 You what?

00:26:11.600 Obviously it meant something.

00:26:12.780 Obviously I've seen it all.

00:26:14.280 I know, but everyone saw it all.

00:26:16.940 That's not true.

00:26:17.880 Well, right.

00:26:18.400 So I guess.

00:26:19.460 Because we've never discussed it.

00:26:22.340 Oh, that's not exactly true.

00:26:23.640 We had to have discussed it.

00:26:24.580 do you care by the way come come come come i i yell this from the mountaintop come

00:26:31.160 but i just i didn't think of you because i don't think of you as a section city historian

00:26:37.380 right no and i i fair enough you know but um i just want to say if i were ever invited

00:26:45.280 to something okay where i was less of a fan let's just say then the people i was with

00:26:50.800 I would immediately adapt

00:26:54.160 of course

00:26:55.080 and I would only

00:26:57.380 I would never scoff

00:26:59.280 I would go to the level of the people

00:27:02.160 that were there

00:27:02.760 of course

00:27:04.120 now I'm mortified

00:27:05.840 I know that you would never scoff

00:27:10.480 I know that you would be the best

00:27:11.940 and be so fun

00:27:12.720 I just think because

00:27:14.880 we have never gotten really deep into it

00:27:17.800 of course

00:27:18.860 I just didn't.

00:27:20.200 I mean, again, I canceled a show.

00:27:21.480 You're allowed to enjoy it.

00:27:22.820 You're allowed to enjoy it with a friend.

00:27:24.640 It was just, I saw you panic, as you described, building a meal around.

00:27:28.100 I saw the panic.

00:27:29.020 I saw the pauses, the fear.

00:27:31.860 And, you know, it's all right.

00:27:34.780 I'm not that freaked out by not being invited to stuff generally.

00:27:38.280 Not that this is stuff that's being invited to.

00:27:40.620 I don't know. 0.96

00:27:44.180 Well, Samantha's not even fucking in it, so what the hell's the point? 0.98

00:27:47.560 Yeah. 0.98

00:27:48.280 So.

00:27:49.060 I know who I want to reach out to us.

00:27:51.760 I'm officially putting out the call to Rodarte.

00:27:57.420 Okay.

00:27:57.920 And I feel hurt that Rodarte has not reached out.

00:28:03.020 I feel erased.

00:28:04.120 That you're being forced to?

00:28:05.060 What?

00:28:07.020 That you're being forced to.

00:28:09.260 You know, I want you to want to, right?

00:28:11.280 No, this is my official, this is my humble plea.

00:28:13.500 I'm on my knees for Rodarte.

00:28:15.740 yeah now what would it look like because i could see us what would that even look like what do what

00:28:23.460 is it are they lending us something naturally i mean i wouldn't expect them to be like come in

00:28:29.780 is it you and me going to a warehouse and someone trying out looks and them coming out and then this

00:28:35.680 horrifying thing of oh i think this one would work great on uk and and you know or or you going

00:28:41.660 I love this for you Jacqueline

00:28:43.340 you saying that to me trying to lock in

00:28:45.760 I've only been like dressed by a designer

00:28:47.780 once and it was like

00:28:49.760 yeah I

00:28:51.720 guess it would be that like you go in

00:28:53.900 and you know they're like we were thinking this

00:28:55.860 or something I don't know

00:28:56.840 but I just I feel hurt

00:28:59.620 I think it's very nice for you

00:29:05.700 who's always sort of I don't know

00:29:07.520 I think yeah I like you you openly

00:29:09.640 me aching yeah I ache for it

00:29:11.660 yeah i can't stop soaping my brows it's really i would love to get so is that a little explain

00:29:17.360 to me that's a little little toothbrush thing but and the soap comes in a separate thing

00:29:22.360 no it's in there it's basically just it looks kind of like brow wax i think they're just trying to

00:29:28.020 i don't know i don't want to insult them but i feel like they're just trying to capitalize on

00:29:31.580 the soap i won't spot a little piece of wax that was like it looked like eyeliner but it was waxy

00:29:38.280 And you put that on your brows

00:29:39.420 But I have to say it looked too waxy for my taste

00:29:41.860 Like I didn't like the way it looked on my face

00:29:44.180 To me it looked like I had

00:29:47.300 Oh, hi, you put wax in your eyebrows

00:29:49.460 Whereas I, of course, been boy brow

00:29:52.220 Right, like mustache 0.97

00:29:53.160 Now I'm a boy brow whore 0.98

00:29:54.820 I'll say it right here 0.97

00:29:56.420 Glossier, glossier, whatever you want to call it

00:29:58.880 They make my favorite mascara

00:30:00.900 And the boy brow, I brush

00:30:03.300 It's just, it's the best

00:30:04.460 The holidays

00:30:05.480 Are coming here

00:30:07.460 oh they are here um everybody's waiting here's a fun little anecdote which is that the first

00:30:14.220 night of hanukkah was two nights ago by the way i just cut you off man with the bag we're gonna

00:30:18.020 get back but it's also i think i think wait man with the bag for if we're closer honestly

00:30:22.880 well this is gonna come out damn december 6th we're in a 20-day countdown

00:30:28.400 and with supply chain issues you know people better get their their orders in okay you know 0.88

00:30:35.460 this right that is actually completely true man with the bag better man with the bag starts early

00:30:40.800 this year um i was gonna say that two nights ago was the first night of hanukkah and i had no

00:30:46.400 plans or nothing i didn't even light anything i'm so sorry god and um but i did sing i was like i

00:30:54.220 was singing the prayer in my house alone i was like going on my way to a show and i was kind of

00:30:59.380 walking around my house and i was like and i started singing it blood started gushing from

00:31:05.820 my left nostril can you imagine the comedy of this i mean just like i like like me kind of

00:31:14.740 quietly in my dimly lit home singing the prayer somebody hasn't hooked up their canopy i guess

00:31:20.220 right or your canopy no i haven't yet i'm really excited but i'm still too crushed under the weight

00:31:25.980 of the cleaning of it by the way my aqua true my aqua true demanded it why wait wait what do you

00:31:32.700 mean no we got the canopy i'm gonna start crying for the canopy because its whole promise is that

00:31:40.500 it's the one that's easy to keep clean really yes that's the entire unique value proposition

00:31:47.460 okay i'm gonna open it tonight i'm gonna open it tonight because my skin is dry

00:31:50.620 that's why we we we begged and then wow i know and then the aquature by the way has a new model

00:31:59.460 it's 50 bucks more i saw this in my black friday inbox okay that has some wi-fi connection it's

00:32:06.180 some live tracking now now a lot of times when they add the app like they do with the toothbrushes

00:32:10.720 they're like i don't you know it's a whole bunch of nothing but what's the app promising i know

00:32:16.040 i just wanted to tell you what's the no thank you what's the new model tracks your hydration

00:32:20.420 ew are you serious okay that's okay but the model itself something with like i'm i'm selling sorry

00:32:28.180 i constantly talk i don't know why i'm selling it okay no i mean i don't know why i i'm defending

00:32:34.160 it like like tell me what you brand tell me what you think and we're gonna pull we're gonna pull

00:32:37.660 the crowd on this so i have the aqua true i have the aqua true uh water uh dust you know great

00:32:45.700 countertop i love it the the taste of the water is incredible what's interesting with the aqua

00:32:49.860 true is that you pour the water in and it filters out the impurities so it's like not like you get

00:32:54.620 you put in a certain amount of water you're getting out less because it actually removes

00:32:58.120 the water they don't want you to drink which i love that they the elves in there working away

00:33:02.820 but um um but i so i was out of town for months as we all know and i had a couple house guests

00:33:11.880 what would you do if you were me you would turn home they're scaling on the aqua true and i talked

00:33:16.960 about how to clean it well they obviously weren't i told them though i told them i was like it's i

00:33:22.360 was like this thing's kind of annoying you really have to either like refill you have to wash it

00:33:26.440 once a week or you have to and i come back and there's scaling and i'm just still drinking out

00:33:30.640 of it well is the scaling in the pre or the post you know what i'm saying in the trash water bin

00:33:39.880 then who cares then who cares oh my god you free me once again you free me once again because i

00:33:45.920 had the urge to I had a moment of anger where my urge is obviously to chuck it out the window

00:33:49.640 screaming um yeah but I had the same thought I thought well no who cares I'm not drinking that

00:33:55.480 water and I need I need to figure out how to change that I am confused by you've replaced

00:34:02.820 parts on it no I mean I've replaced I think we um put in a new you know put in a new filter and

00:34:11.920 By we, I mean Chris.

00:34:12.880 He's very on top of the aqua true.

00:34:14.440 I hear him filling it.

00:34:15.420 I hear him dumping it.

00:34:16.260 Wow.

00:34:17.120 It's, you know, so.

00:34:23.120 Wait, but the canopy, I want to talk about.

00:34:24.900 Sorry.

00:34:25.040 Oh, I have video.

00:34:26.480 I have eight minutes of my father, okay, explaining.

00:34:29.360 So I was talking to him because, you know, I've been pushing the hydrometer.

00:34:32.180 What's that?

00:34:32.920 My nose is bleeding through the house.

00:34:34.800 I've pushed you the hydrometer so you can measure your humidity.

00:34:38.380 And he was like, this always happens.

00:34:40.100 And he's like, no. 0.87

00:34:40.900 he's like I was a fool for 20 years it's not just about humidity he's like it's dew point oh okay

00:34:47.800 my reaction of course not okay but it all it really is it's a calculated it's one of these

00:34:56.860 numbers it's not a measurement itself it's a calculation of some kind of um temperature

00:35:02.740 and humidity temperature okay those both need to be those need to be calibrated and then when you

00:35:10.060 are so my dad our windows were fogging he was over moisturizing and he thought he needed new

00:35:14.620 windows and he went to the window store and said something's wrong with my windows they're fogging

00:35:19.900 up on the inside i guess i need new windows and and the guy a prince among men said i don't think

00:35:24.620 you need new windows how high is your humidity okay and the floor went out first of all yeah

00:35:31.880 yeah window guess who's a customer for life now exactly guess who is going back there oh can i

00:35:38.940 Can I tell you a moment I had at the bank yesterday?

00:35:42.440 Yes.

00:35:43.340 Oh, and remind me airport suitcase.

00:35:45.460 Okay, because what you're reminding me is like the conversation.

00:35:48.400 Okay, I went to the bank yesterday.

00:35:51.060 I'm waiting in line.

00:35:52.260 I go to the teller. 0.98

00:35:53.180 I notice next to me is this elderly woman with two,

00:35:56.660 presumably her children or something,

00:35:57.900 but then they're calling her grandma.

00:35:59.040 One of them is calling her grandma.

00:35:59.980 I'm like, oh, this is like her grandson and his wife.

00:36:02.320 And poor woman, she's coming in

00:36:04.640 because she's getting these scam calls, right? 0.73

00:36:06.340 The bank, hi, Bank of America.

00:36:07.680 i need two hundred dollars and i or else your account's gonna go away they're terrifying this 0.98

00:36:12.140 elderly woman and it's just like these fucking monsters anyway so they're bringing her in so 0.97

00:36:16.520 she can hear from the bank teller like that's not real it's a scam right and she wants to like come 1.00

00:36:21.000 to the bank to check to make sure her goddamn all her money's not gone how old is she i mean she 0.68

00:36:25.340 looked 90 she was really old um anyway so i hear them kind of talking and they're like see grandma

00:36:32.460 all everything's there everything's fine but i feel like they're not making it clear to her

00:36:38.000 like i don't like the tellers not telling her like we at bank of america are never going to

00:36:43.500 call asking for 200 like if anyone yeah so and i and i had the urge to say something but then i

00:36:49.040 thought maybe that's not appropriate it's like bank like there's like it's like the thick there's

00:36:54.320 like the plexiglass barrier like it'd be weird to like ever kind of like put over here you shouldn't

00:37:01.440 transfer that amount you know like it just sounds it feels weird so but then i just decided and i

00:37:06.200 so i just kind of said hi i just want to say i've gotten those calls my parents have gotten those

00:37:10.880 calls it's not real it is a scam and the bank will never call you and ask you for money over

00:37:16.900 the phone i can't believe they didn't say that that's the that's the messaging this teller was

00:37:21.660 completely inept he couldn't no i was like somebody to tell her if they're asking for money it's a

00:37:26.480 that's not how anything works so anyway the grandson looked at me he started crying he said

00:37:31.840 no yeah merry christmas no of course not but like but he did say like thanks and i of course was

00:37:36.880 soaring high because nothing gets me high like kind like interacting with strangers

00:37:42.200 and nothing gets me hotter okay well well i had two two similar experiences so you remember the

00:37:48.040 anecdote you're gonna love your dinex when i saw someone with a dinex coming carrying it home

00:37:52.460 and I got so excited because me and Chris

00:37:55.080 were worried when we purchased the Dynex

00:37:57.100 because it was Best Buy brand, generic

00:37:58.640 and we're like, this could go south on us

00:38:00.680 this could go sideways

00:38:02.020 and I wanted the people to know that we loved it

00:38:04.280 so that they could be at ease

00:38:06.040 and then, oh my god

00:38:08.440 so I have this suitcase from Soul Guard

00:38:11.180 and it's made from like 20,000 water bottles

00:38:13.460 or whatever

00:38:13.880 and it's really sturdy

00:38:17.140 and it's part of Novak's famous merch cart

00:38:18.940 potentially, whatever

00:38:20.600 I'm really into it.

00:38:21.620 I'm really excited about it.

00:38:22.520 Yesterday, waiting at baggage claim, okay, this man, it was like, you know,

00:38:27.280 the father's up there, another silver hair, a poor flyer, okay?

00:38:33.140 And this never happened.

00:38:34.380 They never spot this before I do, okay?

00:38:36.900 He, I look up, there's a man pointing at me kind of, okay, jovially.

00:38:42.100 I glance down, he's also got a red Sologard, okay?

00:38:46.060 You could see it in the corner. 1.00

00:38:48.980 Okay?

00:38:49.780 he points and it gives me a thumbs up that would keep me that would sustain me for weeks

00:38:55.820 weeks okay i was oh my god oh my god and i tried to get a picture and and and there was a moment

00:39:03.700 where where chris was concerned that that like he's like i'm like look the guy's also got a red

00:39:09.580 soul guard and he's like and he's chris like chris like make sure that's yours make sure it's like

00:39:14.220 he was consumed with it being maybe we'd switched and i could see the guys had like a little blue 0.72

00:39:18.160 handle i've got a goddamn red banana whoa i've got a red bandana red banana would be cute 0.94

00:39:25.320 tied around okay you got you have to you have to put a little flare on there 0.99

00:39:29.020 i actually almost wept seeing my my suitcase okay come up so

00:39:36.680 it's one thing just on the belt coming your way which is obviously moving okay okay but there was

00:39:45.440 something about the way that the airport yesterday it was taking the kids up from school it was

00:39:50.420 remind me of because you know they've been through hell and you put so much trust in the institution

00:39:57.040 put trusted the schools that they're going to get the kids through you put trust in the airline oh 0.91

00:40:01.860 my god it's our goddamn kids it was like my my bag was it should have had a backpack and so it 0.59

00:40:07.200 emerges vertically i was trying to describe it emerges vertically okay i see it like in the 0.99

00:40:11.860 distance not even on the regular not even on the belt yet okay not even it's like the shoot at the

00:40:16.660 top pops up vertically okay not even at the shoot I mean like in the distance I see it like a top

00:40:22.280 a structure okay and then I see it riding along and a little curve okay and it's off it goes happy

00:40:28.640 happy okay and then it disappears from view for a little while that is what kills me okay it

00:40:34.020 disappears from view like it's going through a tunnel or something and I know it's on its way

00:40:38.260 it's like i see it before i could see it yeah you know what i mean yes and then it comes out and i

00:40:42.440 am like practically sobbing okay and and just knowing my things are in there oh my god and um

00:40:48.760 no they're i have because the last few trips i've checked bags which as we all know i i tend to not 0.71

00:40:55.000 do but lately i've been like fuck it i'm checking and i'm soaring on this yeah and soaring at the

00:41:00.520 soaring at the gate and i go oh i don't have to lug this and then i'm like oh i'm taking i'm taking 0.98

00:41:04.700 my full dry you know my full aerosol cans of hair shit like it's such a thrill to be able to pack 0.89

00:41:10.160 yeah so anyway throw it in the bag yeah and and i used to it's the way we we mythologize pain and 0.98

00:41:16.580 struggle in this way where i've always been like checking a bag is a nightmare and you're tacking

00:41:21.100 on 20 minutes to your commute and you're gonna be waiting there and guess what they're gonna lose it

00:41:27.020 it's like all the terror that comes through right of all of that and the last few checking experiences

00:41:32.440 have been so stainless that I'm like, this is, this is incredible. And I had, uh, just a few

00:41:38.860 days ago, I chanced and I had the thing happen that we all fear, which is that I saw my bag

00:41:43.640 and I saw someone take it off the belt. Reach? No, honey, they didn't just reach.

00:41:49.000 Are you fucking serious? It leaves the belt. Is it a black roller? No, it's a dark navy blue 0.99

00:41:53.560 roller, but it has, it has my tag on it. Mine's navy blue too. Well, you need what I need,

00:41:59.020 a red no i need a red banana on it but um the red bandana is so so foolish but but no but i saw it

00:42:05.400 lift off the belt and i go kate relax okay you're gonna get it back yeah so i start i try not to

00:42:10.300 just run i try my instinct is just to drop my care my my shoulder bag my shoulder bag i don't

00:42:18.180 what is a shoulder bag why did i just have such a strong reaction to that okay so i my my urge is

00:42:24.320 to belt over i'm sorry to you know belt what's the word i'm looking for to bolt bolt christ

00:42:28.900 see this i'm talking about the mind you were next to a belt as easily you were next to a belt

00:42:33.480 so it was actually a meaningful connection my instinct is to bolt and start screaming

00:42:37.820 you know drop it but instead i just kind of i kind of and it's just i'm sure my eyes conveyed

00:42:45.260 pure terror i try to i go over the whoever it was already put it back on the belt so then i know but

00:42:53.640 the way i then when i saw you've got him by the shoulders me when i lifted it off the belt it was

00:42:59.380 like i was imagining my suitcase for a second i had been so scared it was like mommy no like it

00:43:04.080 was like you're like you're like you know you're yelling at your suitcase you know that thing

00:43:07.680 i'm mad because i was afraid like never do never make me never do that to me again johnny

00:43:14.600 you know like i'm screaming i almost felt it gone and i was like but i feel like making up luggage

00:43:20.620 when does that happen once every six years i mean there's no way

00:43:23.220 i mean um it happened to meet the parents it's it's truly a great truly a perfect film

00:43:31.340 i can't thank you don't make them like that anymore

00:43:34.320 i mean it's it's very funny and they don't make them like that anymore 0.98

00:43:42.000 They fucking don't. 0.97

00:43:43.880 And you try to tell me they do. 1.00

00:43:47.300 You try to tell me they do.

00:43:48.720 A comedy that, you know, a sort of broadly, a mainstream comedy that delivers.

00:44:01.200 That delivers with absolute excellence.

00:44:05.020 I'm so glad that you think that.

00:44:06.700 I didn't know that you felt that way about that movie.

00:44:08.780 And I'm really glad to hear that you do.

00:44:10.540 I think it's a fabulous triumph.

00:44:11.160 I love it.

00:44:12.180 I mean, there's a lot of genius in like him and his PJs and they're all dressed. 0.99

00:44:16.560 I mean, the goy, the goy, the goyish, well, I was just having a conversation about whether 0.98

00:44:21.900 or not it's offensive, but the, the Jewish family, he's Jewish, right? 0.81

00:44:25.280 What's offensive?

00:44:25.920 Saying goy?

00:44:28.300 Oh, sorry. 1.00

00:44:29.200 I'll let you talk.

00:44:30.720 No, no.

00:44:31.020 I, but there, there were these subtle things that like, like they didn't wake him.

00:44:38.740 Genius.

00:44:39.100 Okay.

00:44:39.240 In the morning he slept late and they didn't wake him in.

00:44:40.800 why'd you let me sleep yeah they're all dressed and showered yeah why'd you let me sleep yeah

00:44:44.940 brilliant and they're all like calling him sleepyhead when he comes down it's it it's

00:44:51.960 why'd you let humiliating to be in your full and it's hello this is the potential in-laws i mean

00:44:55.960 it's it's terrifying no and i just want to say that i mean ben stiller's influence i want to

00:45:02.320 say ben stiller's influence cannot be overstated and um cannot be over and i just um and he's an

00:45:10.500 incredible director escape and i say it well i know we've talked about brad status before obviously

00:45:15.900 oh my god brad status cannot be overstated um absolute sheer genius something about that movie

00:45:22.520 feels like it almost be good for fall time do you know what i mean it's not a christmas movie but

00:45:26.540 it's in no way a christmas movie i think i just want to watch it and try it just like i can just

00:45:30.960 watch it i don't have to incorporate it into the season yeah yeah i don't know i think there might

00:45:36.560 be a way brad's status at application i think it's because like fall leaves they're visiting

00:45:40.400 colleges maybe there's a crunch in the air totally um no i think it is a september i think it's a

00:45:47.960 september winter for sure wait hold on the belt though one thing so i so so you know um you know

00:45:56.660 i um they told me that i wouldn't have to leave and go through i went through security twice

00:46:03.220 yesterday I checked bags twice yesterday okay no what was your connection flight the whole thing

00:46:09.780 LAX what okay and they assured they assured us okay on the phone that that I could no one could

00:46:17.740 ever assure you anything in this life send them right through the thing that that my bags could

00:46:21.800 be sent through to San Francisco okay they they assured and then there I am the woman going let's

00:46:26.460 get it's a separate ticket you know it's not a connecting flight like it's a separate ticket

00:46:30.520 you'll have to go out again so i went out there i waited so i wait think of this i waited at

00:46:35.300 baggage oh honey okay i was standing at baggage claim twice okay now which is which is pretty

00:46:42.600 wild um anyway it's just which is um pretty wild me taking up three seconds of space no you should

00:46:49.260 you should take up the space something the fact that they have not done anything to improve

00:46:55.400 Chris and I were talking about this

00:46:58.660 like we're standing there

00:46:59.820 they've not done anything to improve

00:47:01.620 the lifestyle experience

00:47:04.080 Oh LAX is

00:47:05.360 No chairs?

00:47:08.000 The baggage claim at LAX is disgusting

00:47:09.380 No chairs

00:47:09.880 No chairs

00:47:11.500 Okay when they don't have a coffee shop

00:47:14.700 once you're already down

00:47:16.560 at ground transportation

00:47:18.100 when they don't have something to purchase there

00:47:20.620 that's hell

00:47:21.540 I was like there's no consumables

00:47:24.100 this is the problem

00:47:24.960 how do we make ourselves happy

00:47:27.060 yeah I know

00:47:28.200 I'm like sell me something

00:47:30.600 I know I know

00:47:31.840 tell me anything

00:47:33.820 a man was walking through his souvenir

00:47:36.020 light up balloons that just said LAX

00:47:39.220 get your balloons

00:47:41.380 I'd rather call him over

00:47:42.740 you know like I want

00:47:44.900 the thrill of purchase

00:47:46.140 okay let's go to break and we'll come back

00:47:48.060 alright bye

00:47:50.820 this is Rider Strong

00:47:53.180 and I have a new podcast called

00:47:54.660 The Red Weather. It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea. In 1995, my neighbor,

00:48:03.040 Anna Trainor, disappeared from a commune. It was hard to wrap your head around. It was

00:48:06.660 nature and trees and praying and drugs. No, I am not your guru. And back then, I lied to my parents.

00:48:16.460 I lied to police. I lied to everybody. There were years right where I could not say your name.

00:48:21.500 I've decided to go back to my hometown in Northern California,

00:48:24.400 interview my friends, family, talk to police, journalists,

00:48:27.200 whomever I can to try to find out what actually happened.

00:48:30.560 Isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods

00:48:33.480 and not the obvious boyfriend?

00:48:35.140 They have had this case for 30 years. 1.00

00:48:38.080 I'll teach you sons of bitches to come around here and my wife. 1.00

00:48:41.120 Boom, boom. 1.00

00:48:42.420 This is The Red Weather.

00:48:45.440 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app,

00:48:47.900 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:48:52.320 Crook and Chase Nashville chats with the coolest cat in country music.

00:48:56.240 He is edgy.

00:48:57.060 He's fun.

00:48:58.080 He is Chase Matthews.

00:48:59.580 Keith Urban helped make him a global sensation last year,

00:49:02.320 but it's his recent number one hit, Darling, that put Chase on the map

00:49:05.300 and launched a fun and difficult conversation about lovers who cheat and lie.

00:49:10.580 That's why I'm scared to get married.

00:49:11.920 You're giving me trust issues, brother.

00:49:13.460 Crook and Chase Nashville chats with Chase Matthews.

00:49:16.120 Listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

00:49:21.500 hello hello once again we've covered air travel

00:49:31.200 once again we've covered air travel on our little show

00:49:37.880 mabel took gabapentin it's an anxiolytic i couldn't even begin to understand what that means

00:49:45.740 Well, Anxio

00:49:49.780 Anxious

00:49:51.020 And Lytic 1.00

00:49:53.220 Is a killer of the thing 1.00

00:49:55.380 Look at this, doesn't it?

00:49:56.560 Look at this face

00:49:58.340 What are you doing?

00:49:59.840 Wait

00:50:00.040 I feel like that might be what I'm really old

00:50:03.560 Wait, let me see it

00:50:06.020 Isn't that scary?

00:50:07.580 Do you think my face will collapse as I age?

00:50:13.020 Do you know what I mean?

00:50:13.420 Technically they all do

00:50:14.500 some people hyper collapse yeah i think i don't think well i don't want to collapse i think

00:50:20.640 i'll fall but i won't collapse i mean nora efron i feel bad about my neck a perfect book title

00:50:27.840 i never read that you know yeah the title did enough i know i mean the title did a lot uh

00:50:35.980 isn't that brutal and just her in a turtleneck oh my god um okay so i've slowly put on makeup

00:50:42.880 during the course of the... 1.00

00:50:43.840 Oh, what's that lip color?

00:50:44.800 I love it.

00:50:45.360 During the course of the recording.

00:50:46.400 It's nice, right?

00:50:47.480 So it's Too Faced,

00:50:48.860 melted matte,

00:50:50.160 liquefied matte,

00:50:51.280 long wear lipstick.

00:50:53.400 And I think the color

00:50:55.060 references strawberry

00:50:56.340 or something.

00:50:57.280 And I felt like it was like,

00:50:58.880 yeah, maybe that's

00:50:59.520 what my lips look like.

00:51:00.540 I want some fun makeup.

00:51:01.640 If they were fully pigmented.

00:51:02.840 That's really pretty.

00:51:04.060 So I got that on.

00:51:05.860 I got a little,

00:51:07.100 I got the milk stick,

00:51:10.240 the milk makeup's cheek and lip

00:51:11.760 that I sweep on.

00:51:12.020 Oh, that's great.

00:51:12.520 I love the milk it's like a three in one I love the berry one yeah and then I have a little a

00:51:19.220 little eye and that's it and it's you know it does a lot I think I could go for some I've been

00:51:25.080 playing with some shadows I like brown shadows on the eye I have a NARS palette that I bought

00:51:30.140 4,000 years ago and I remember when I bought it I was like you know what this is kind of a big

00:51:34.900 purchase because like 50 bucks or something I don't remember it's like a bunch of and I was

00:51:38.440 like no i'm gonna work because i have eyeshadow palettes you have them for 15 years i mean quite

00:51:42.880 honestly right you have them forever so imagine this it's big you know it's like quite large

00:51:49.460 yeah and the top is a mirror obviously it's a compact the top fell off folks and i didn't drop

00:51:58.600 it like it truly it's like the what can you what can be done no nothing can be done the um the 0.93

00:52:03.040 hinge onto which the top is affixed just gave out and now i'm fucked to say the very least 0.70

00:52:10.700 because i have now it can only be a desk palette it can only be a vanity palette i can't travel 0.97

00:52:16.920 with it and also it's completely exposed pigment so i can't fucking live with this thing trust it 0.73

00:52:22.500 again the impulse to throw it oh into a ditch i mean it's just i mean you would never do this 0.83

00:52:28.220 but there is satisfaction in it.

00:52:31.280 Well, there are those videos where people repack.

00:52:34.200 Have you ever seen these?

00:52:35.360 It's like a TikTok thing where they have like a crushed thing

00:52:37.900 and they repack it.

00:52:39.200 No, I need it to be hard powder.

00:52:40.560 I don't want loose powder.

00:52:43.260 No, there's a technique.

00:52:45.280 It's like you spritz it with alcohol or something

00:52:46.800 and it recompacts, okay?

00:52:49.080 But you could put it in any little container you want.

00:52:51.120 Now that's something you do if that sounds fun.

00:52:54.420 God, now that does sound kind of fun,

00:52:55.920 but I know I won't do it.

00:52:58.220 oh jacqueline i want to say the shampoo jacqueline did something very sweet which

00:53:04.320 is that she gave me a gift you gifted me the shampoo jacqueline it's the best shampoo i've

00:53:09.540 ever used in my life what is it tell them at home yeah amh add more hair available on soco glam

00:53:18.120 and other sites it was out of stock for a long time folks are you serious make no mistake it is

00:53:23.180 $40. If it's $40 folks

00:53:25.240 make no mistake. And let me tell you it is the best

00:53:27.220 shampoo. I've never

00:53:28.420 shampoo has never meant

00:53:31.180 anything to me. Right

00:53:33.020 because traditionally it's been detergent

00:53:35.360 it's been sodium

00:53:37.040 lauryl sulfate or whatever

00:53:39.000 and

00:53:39.760 that's all it is. I don't even

00:53:43.140 mind that being in there anymore but

00:53:44.980 they've got the zinc, they've got the

00:53:47.160 you know the whatever. When I tell you it makes my hair feel

00:53:49.300 clean. Salicylic acid. But not stripped.

00:53:51.880 God it's all

00:53:52.600 Well, that's to me what, because, yeah, the gentle shampoo to me isn't just shampoo.

00:53:58.020 What do you mean?

00:53:59.020 Do you know what I'm saying?

00:54:00.420 Like, either wash your hair or don't.

00:54:04.040 Right, right.

00:54:05.420 Like, I hate a shampoo that's like, oh, it's moisturizing while cleansing.

00:54:10.260 It's like it's not cleansing if it's sticking to my hair because it's made of oil.

00:54:14.540 My hair actually looks pretty good right now.

00:54:16.080 And you know what I used in the hotel bathroom?

00:54:19.100 Aesop.

00:54:20.040 It's all Aesop in the shower.

00:54:22.600 And, um, I've really become a hound for sort of the bright floral or not floral, but sort

00:54:28.800 of fresh botanical scents.

00:54:31.280 I, I really have that they've added, they've added a lot and I can't get enough.

00:54:36.360 I want to quickly say about there's wallpaper in this hotel, which is big, which is big,

00:54:40.140 which people talk about all natural laundry detergents, right?

00:54:43.380 You got to use it or I don't, I think I'm off that train.

00:54:47.500 I want the clothes to smell good.

00:54:50.560 Do you know what I mean?

00:54:51.680 Okay.

00:54:51.940 It's great to hear this.

00:54:52.960 I used to do a bit of work in Fabricare.

00:54:55.040 They're literally a Pook sponsor. 1.00

00:54:56.400 The Laundress sent us, talk about Bounty folks, 1.00

00:54:58.900 they sent us every goddamn product. 1.00

00:55:00.940 I love that soap. 1.00

00:55:03.300 And they do, they did a, this is a full ad, I don't care.

00:55:06.320 They did a Laundress Le Labo crossover. 0.99

00:55:10.800 Holy shit. 1.00

00:55:11.320 Can you fucking believe what I'm telling you? 1.00

00:55:12.240 Le Labo is a, I don't even know anything about Le Labo 0.98

00:55:14.980 other than that when I was in a hotel and they had it,

00:55:16.860 someone was like, whoa, it's a status item, right?

00:55:19.640 and but but the the crossover with the detergent and the labo makes like shampoos i believe in

00:55:23.840 conditioners as well or i know that they do but yeah but um the long dress i'm just gonna say

00:55:28.860 i i'm loving it and i'm also saying this because i want more baby okay because i was i was classic

00:55:34.580 you'll be proud of me here jacqueline classically i save right i go i'm not going to use the

00:55:38.920 laundress yes yeah it's too nice i went who cares i started using it it smells so good and when you

00:55:44.560 take out the shirt and it just smells like that yes it lifts you it elevates oh a doorbell i used

00:55:50.380 to watch my door oh my god i'm gonna check it on air product yeah check it i want i'll talk

00:55:54.940 well i'll wait oh it's a package coming kate is really sort of what you imagine

00:56:03.880 opening a door when you're dropping off a package somehow coming there she is flitting across her

00:56:12.760 home all right what is it oh what is it by the way i ordered sponsor glossier boy brow and the

00:56:23.580 the mascara with my own money and it just arrived so i'm just saying that how does it feel to pay

00:56:30.180 for it okay yeah it's totally fine good good well well there is a thing is if poog is the success

00:56:38.340 that we want it to be. 1.00

00:56:40.100 We don't want it to be too successful,

00:56:41.560 but assuming it is, we're going to have to, you know.

00:56:45.880 What?

00:56:46.640 We're going to have to start paying.

00:56:48.000 We can't ask for free things once we're fully successful, maybe.

00:56:51.160 Right, right, once you're the...

00:56:52.600 Anyway, you know what I'm saying, right?

00:56:54.240 Once Pug Air goes public

00:56:56.480 and becomes a publicly traded company.

00:56:58.360 When Pug Air was the begging for free chapstick.

00:56:59.680 Yeah, and we're like, but it's not Pug

00:57:02.740 unless we're begging for free stuff.

00:57:04.140 I mean, I'll never stop.

00:57:06.460 I'll never stop.

00:57:07.840 You might.

00:57:08.360 I'll never stop.

00:57:09.480 But, but, wait, wait.

00:57:11.740 Yes?

00:57:12.540 So I used to watch focus groups about Fabricare and scent, okay,

00:57:17.180 related to advertising work I was doing.

00:57:19.480 So it's really interesting to hear direct from my, you know,

00:57:23.460 dear friend's mouth this insight.

00:57:27.400 Which insight?

00:57:28.140 I wonder, yeah, just that you, you know,

00:57:32.240 as someone who has absorbed the message of all natural,

00:57:37.180 is still coming back around to scent

00:57:38.860 and wanting the heaven of scent coming out

00:57:41.840 and opening the thing and holding up to your nose and inhaling.

00:57:45.900 You know what I found very appealing with the Lawn Dresses products?

00:57:48.680 They have this like, this is a full ad.

00:57:51.360 They begged, they didn't beg,

00:57:52.800 but I think they paid a reasonable amount

00:57:54.920 probably for us to do an endorsement.

00:57:57.840 And it's happening live by accident.

00:58:01.300 I just think you should be able to retroactively request money.

00:58:06.880 I mean, I don't say demand it.

00:58:09.200 You know, like you can't make something for someone

00:58:11.300 and then demand they pay for it, but I don't know.

00:58:14.380 I think it would be nice.

00:58:16.620 I like that there's a brush.

00:58:18.380 There's like a soap bar that you can travel with

00:58:20.720 for like stains or something.

00:58:22.180 It's like a little like bar soap of the laundress.

00:58:24.460 I think I saw that and just gasped.

00:58:25.840 It's so beautiful.

00:58:26.420 I didn't even know what to do.

00:58:27.620 Yeah, the idea of me sitting in this hotel room

00:58:29.660 working out a stain over the sink.

00:58:30.960 Oh, the heaven of that.

00:58:32.040 I'm in this so I'm in this room with all this wonderful wallpaper and it's this kind of cream

00:58:40.260 colored mixed with warm grays and a hint of blue and it's very like 19 I don't know 20s feeling

00:58:48.300 did you ever watch Bardwark Empire never I actually think you could get into it for real

00:58:53.580 but it's I so I feel like Steve Buscemi's character Nucky Thompson in here and I'm

00:58:59.160 going to lean into it for the whole week right I will say yeah I'm really and I was secretly

00:59:06.140 I had this moment where I'm like I'm Nucky Thompson and I pass the mirror and I see my

00:59:11.320 long hair and my femininity right and I wasn't disappointed I wasn't like I want to get a bowler

00:59:16.180 hat and like fully dress you know it was like I was able to enjoy um my feminine exterior as a

00:59:26.720 as a uh mask or as a cloak okay well i know on the inside of this other thing i thought that was

00:59:34.560 kind of interesting that is interesting to enjoy the obscuring of you know what i don't know like

00:59:42.420 it's almost like i want my my self-presentation to be um in contrast to what i feel i am or

00:59:49.320 something of course i mean i think that's i relate to that deeply um wait so have you ever

00:59:59.880 been in the unfortunate situation of um saying something to someone that you react you react

01:00:06.260 naturally to some fact or detail about them and they get they give you an understandable kind of

01:00:11.680 yeah never heard that one before or whatever okay so here's an example friend saying that he grew up

01:00:17.140 in swanee or swanee okay and me going swanee like swanee river okay and um and you know out of this

01:00:28.280 the thrill of recognition and oh and whatever and then and then the person being like yeah never

01:00:33.360 heard that before okay have you ever done the thing said never heard that before and had someone

01:00:38.220 say that to you oh no sure done the thing the one that said to yeah done the thing whatever it is

01:00:43.340 like oh and I was just thinking like it's this kind of they're insulting you you know by calling

01:00:50.200 out almost that you're you're reacting the same way everyone else has right and I was I woke up

01:00:55.340 in the morning you're like I know everyone came to mind yeah sorry I'll let you finish your own

01:00:59.800 goddamn thought well yeah that that too no that that that too but but here I think here's the

01:01:04.640 thing but in that moment where they're where they're telling you that um that you are saying 0.97

01:01:11.280 the thing everyone says they're using one of the most cliched phrases for that very situation

01:01:16.000 which is never heard that before never heard that one before they're literally trying to

01:01:21.980 they're telling you something and so i'm trying to figure out the perfect response to that which

01:01:25.320 never heard that before and your expression just there and i've heard someone say that every time

01:01:30.160 i've commented in a regular way to see what i'm saying these are like these these bother me like

01:01:35.200 and please me at the same time like a little puzzle like anyway it's like that can live

01:01:39.980 nowhere but i had to get it out yes you know yes um oh we never talked about packing cubes three

01:01:46.300 weeks ago someone uh someone a friend reached out saying you know you got me all excited you're

01:01:51.220 going to talk about packing cubes and then we ended two episodes back we ended it saying let's

01:01:57.340 talk about packing cubes and then you go we don't have time we don't have time well there's you

01:02:00.020 want to talk about much to say all i'll say is i did a brief dive into the world of packing cubes

01:02:04.340 and there are ones that are more expensive that also compress so you compress like the contents

01:02:11.120 of the cube down so you can ostensibly lay you know 10 dress shirts in there and then press it

01:02:16.040 down no not with a belt through like air it's something do you have to um do you have to use

01:02:22.260 a vacuum because that's that's way too much i don't know i don't know yeah but i just got

01:02:26.880 inexpensive simple ones but i have to say it's changed my life because it's just organizationally

01:02:33.540 I don't have I don't have the um the neurological capacity to organize a suitcase well or anything

01:02:40.580 for that matter and so I enjoy the thing of just like this cube is my nice stuff this cube is

01:02:49.280 underwear this cube is shirts you know it's just and then I can throw it in there and there's still

01:02:55.600 level of chaos but that simple organizational tool has changed the way I pack and you just

01:03:01.080 it's inexplicable there is more room in there i don't get it that's how packing it actually it

01:03:06.980 feels like math to me i don't understand if all the contents are how can you get more space

01:03:11.500 do you know what i mean like it's like i'm not i think it's really about air wow it's about

01:03:16.920 it's about air i mean like air's world if you fold something oh my god it's true if there's

01:03:26.500 anything in the last two years or a year and a half or whatever it's been has shown us oh wow

01:03:30.720 yeah yeah it wasn't about disease it was actually the issue here okay i'm sorry let's just take a

01:03:37.620 second to acknowledge that asop you look amazing doing something right if i have zero product in

01:03:43.180 right i did nothing but get out of the shower at first i thought it yeah nothing you look you

01:03:48.860 look beautiful i love that hair i love that hair it's very julia thank you see i tried to do a

01:03:58.580 wide mouth grin like she does interesting thing in this hotel no drawers now and this is the first

01:04:05.980 time i even considered unpacking we have to wrap up though definitely we do we're over an hour

01:04:12.620 all right i love you love you that was poog if you enjoyed poog please subscribe rate and review

01:04:21.460 if not we will press charges

01:04:23.620 this is rider strong and i have a new podcast called the red weather in 1995 my neighbor

01:04:31.860 and a trainer disappeared from a commune it was nature and trees and praying and drugs

01:04:37.520 no i am not your guru back then i lied to everybody they have had this case for 30 years

01:04:46.700 i'm going back to my hometown to uncover the truth listen to the red weather on the iheart

01:04:52.360 radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

01:04:54.500 you get your podcasts.

01:04:56.860 Crook and Chase Nashville chats

01:04:58.440 with the coolest cat in country music.

01:05:00.700 He is edgy. He's fun.

01:05:02.520 He is Chase Matthews. Keith Urban

01:05:04.440 helped make him a global sensation last

01:05:06.460 year, but it's his recent number one hit

01:05:08.200 darling to put Chase on the map and

01:05:10.360 launched a fun and difficult

01:05:12.160 conversation about lovers who cheat

01:05:14.200 and lie. That's why I'm scared to get married. 0.53

01:05:16.400 You're giving me trust issues, brother. Crook and

01:05:18.300 Chase Nashville chats with Chase Matthews.

01:05:20.660 Listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

01:05:26.480 This is an iHeart Podcast.

01:05:29.000 Guaranteed human.

01:05:50.660 You

Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - December 07, 2021

A Mainstream Comedy That Delivers

Episode Stats

Transcript