Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - Dying of the Light

00:00:00.000 This is an iHeart Podcast.

00:00:02.580 Guaranteed human.

00:00:04.420 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:00:08.020 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Traynor, disappeared from a commune.

00:00:11.960 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:00:15.780 No, I am not your guru.

00:00:19.420 Back then, I lied to everybody.

00:00:21.720 They have had this case for 30 years.

00:00:24.660 I'm going back to my hometown to uncover the truth.

00:00:27.320 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:00:57.320 Chase Matthew, listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app,

00:01:00.880 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

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00:01:34.820 Hi, I'm Kate Berlant.

00:01:36.260 I'm Jacqueline Novak.

00:01:37.340 And this is POOG, an ongoing conversation about wellness between two obsessive friends.

00:01:42.000 Two untamable intellects.

00:01:43.720 This is our hobby. 0.97

00:01:44.580 This is our hell.

00:01:45.420 This is our naked desire for free products.

00:01:47.660 This is POOG.

00:01:49.040 Today's topic, loosely speaking.

00:01:50.460 Dinner photography. 0.90

00:01:52.560 Hitler. 0.94

00:01:53.780 Caviar. 0.84

00:01:54.380 oh can you hear me i hear you okay wasn't it terrible to just eat something unsatisfying

00:02:01.580 well i famously have eaten half of a meal at a restaurant left got in line well one time

00:02:12.900 i was waiting in line for good enough to eat we used to go like once a week what the hell is that

00:02:17.760 it was a it was an upper west side brunch place that was pretty exceptional okay well run bustling

00:02:27.420 off in a long line it oh wait that reminds me i'm gonna scream i'm gonna beg chris for tea

00:02:35.120 um so that i can protect my voice chris and i used to go to this place good enough to eat

00:02:43.140 when we lived on the Upper West Side.

00:02:44.960 Mm-hmm.

00:02:45.420 I'm not familiar.

00:02:46.940 It's a celebrated brunch establishment.

00:02:50.360 People travel from far distances to go,

00:02:54.960 and they had the most delicious biscuits with strawberry butter.

00:02:59.440 Oh.

00:03:00.800 It was so good, and it was well-run, and it was sensational.

00:03:04.380 I remember it raining once, and the guy coming over

00:03:08.660 and drawing off my friend's head.

00:03:10.980 the napkin with like oh just like utter ease i want to say something about because a napkin

00:03:16.800 about this is when the restaurant is run so exquisitely yes is when you're wearing something

00:03:21.580 black and they bring you a black napkin so the white napkin doesn't oh yeah doesn't affect what

00:03:28.520 you're wearing are you i'll never forget i'll never forget i'm trying to remember where it

00:03:31.880 first was i was wearing nice kind of formal black pants this guy comes over he goes blown away and

00:03:39.020 he hands me a black cloth napkin so it's not to destroy my look and now I'm by the way recently

00:03:46.140 this is actually kind of obnoxious I was at Altro Paradiso favorite restaurant in New York City

00:03:50.920 wearing fine black pants they gave me a white might as well briefly terrified that that wasn't

00:03:55.780 clear okay go on I requested a black I was like you don't have black cloth napkins do you and she

00:04:00.560 very like kindly was just like no and I was like wow pretty bold to ask I'm blown away well also

00:04:08.480 because i mean who's the visual for at that point your lap's under the table right no it's not about

00:04:14.560 it's not about the visual interruption of the pants it's about the white napkin

00:04:17.980 pilling it's about it creates fuzz oh so there's white okay there's white fuzz on the pants 0.99

00:04:25.020 oh wow okay yeah then you get up and you're fucked your clothes are hysterical first of all 0.99

00:04:32.200 can you believe i thought it was about the disruption of the outfit i can't believe that 0.99

00:04:35.520 it's incredible. And I was like, I was going to be like, what restaurants are you going to lap

00:04:41.460 exposed? No, just where they would worry about such a thing. Yeah, no. But yeah, I'm exposed

00:04:47.880 as well. Can you imagine eating with lap exposed? Well, that's what that's the hell of most lounge 1.00

00:04:51.700 seating. Oh, yeah. Well, you ever get offered the lounge as though in your house? Yeah, exactly.

00:05:00.740 and and as though it's a comparable offer i mean look there are times when yes i'm relieved to hear

00:05:06.740 that the kitchen that it's the full dinner menu at the bar that there can be fun to be had there

00:05:13.340 can be fun to be had well you know i hate a bar stool classically yeah any form like legs dangling

00:05:20.020 um the bar is never if if and you know it's the worst feeling in the world if you try you go to

00:05:25.840 scoot your bar seat closer to the bar. Your body does it on instinct. And then you remember that

00:05:32.740 it's bolted to the floor and you cannot get any closer. Oh yeah. So do you want to hear the rest

00:05:38.480 of the brunch? Yes, please. So we would go, it was absolutely sensational. We would go, we would

00:05:44.440 eat a big meal there and then go home and nap. It was like, you know, it was like an athletic level

00:05:50.860 of sort of brunch eating that required a nap after thank you so much and um it was just incredible

00:05:59.020 and then um one time it was like the line was too long we were so hungry and we were like all right 0.69

00:06:06.440 let's just try that fucking place next door who cares how bad can it be you know what i mean 0.89

00:06:09.600 yeah went in ordered something i'll have to report to the listeners later exactly what was served 0.99

00:06:15.460 it was so bad that i was like we have to leave no we'll pay whatever we have to leave this is like

00:06:20.380 the worst thing that's ever been seen on a plate. Okay. And I'm not hard to please despite how it

00:06:25.580 may sound. Yeah. I'm really not. Actually, that's another thing I want to talk about.

00:06:29.360 Remind me about the artichoke dip. But anyway. Okay. Left the restaurant after eating like four

00:06:35.020 bites, got back in line at the other place. Okay. I love that because similarly, I once had a very

00:06:40.640 extravagant, John Early and I, this is right when pandemic, when it was like restaurants were

00:06:46.080 starting to it was like immediately post vaccine like kind of this like utopia like are we are we

00:06:51.840 free and went out to dinner at this place had a full meal disappointing was shocked you know I

00:06:58.980 was like it's not the same something's wrong we still had full cocktails appetizers I mean we had

00:07:04.900 it all ambiance devastating the ambiance was off because we were outdoors and it was like okay but

00:07:10.120 but the food was off and it was heartbreaking. So much so we went to a different restaurant

00:07:16.160 and sat down and started again. And it was, it was too much. It was really extravagant

00:07:22.160 because the first meal was extravagant. And it was like, and I was like, let's go to the

00:07:26.060 other place. And it was at that point, like nine 30. I was like, I think we'll be able

00:07:28.460 to get a table because it's nine 30. Went and sat down. I was like, you know, effervescent

00:07:34.240 off my, maybe I had two cocktails, you know? And I was like, we were just that I'll redact

00:07:38.160 the name for their privacy yeah and i was like we came here for a second dinner because we were

00:07:42.080 disappointed and the waitress kind of was like i heard they fell off you know it was really yeah

00:07:46.280 and then immediately realized like i actually don't have the capacity to eat a second dinner

00:07:51.660 immediately so you had eaten the full meal right we didn't go the full we ordered like a pasta and

00:07:57.320 a and like a meat course and i could barely touch it it was and shared the two um no sorry i'm still

00:08:02.580 at the first restaurant if you had fully eaten it was fun and we had dessert we ordered dessert as

00:08:06.460 at the second place but two dinners back to back it's it's a kind of extravagance and evidence of

00:08:15.120 of a shared neuroses or you know a shared not neuroses a shared over correction no the need

00:08:21.520 to correct it the need to yeah it's really hard when a meal when a meal goes poorly when you when

00:08:29.840 you do that it's just particularly if you're you're going out you put on a little outfit

00:08:34.820 it and you know you're spending money i mean it's really painful i struggle to dress for dinner

00:08:41.900 because i don't want anything to get in the way i don't want to get anything to get in the way of

00:08:47.820 my enjoyment of the food you know what i mean so comfort is primary have you ever had this

00:08:53.880 this is the thing the artichoke thing i'm just gonna say before i forget which is went out with

00:08:57.660 a group of people to a place in new york that they were all very on board with and even like

00:09:03.140 there like we're friends with a chef or something there was some connection there right so i really

00:09:06.980 felt that they were sold on this place we go out we have a nice meal one of the things is like an

00:09:11.920 artichoke dip okay it comes other people have a bite or two i'm like eating in the way i eat which

00:09:18.860 is um there's these this stuff that i need to put away into my body right like it's like i eat at

00:09:25.460 the speed that i would pack a suitcase yeah with the items i need to pack it with it's like back

00:09:30.240 it in actually i'll tell you something that happened to me earlier this week relatedly

00:09:34.620 so anyway i'm eating that artichoke dip right yeah yeah and at the end they're like

00:09:40.600 just talking over overall about the meal they're like yeah the artichoke dip was disgusting 0.87

00:09:44.680 and i'm like i feel the shame of course because i was like happily shoveling it in like a fool 0.55

00:09:52.120 like a dog yeah you know and then like so i almost felt it was wrong it was almost like 0.67

00:09:57.740 Ben Stiller like why'd you let me sleep it's like you all like I just think if someone's clearly

00:10:03.400 enjoying it you shouldn't say that. You don't tell them it's disgusting it's rude. It's so it's just

00:10:07.920 it's so rude. It's really rude I actually had I went to a really nice dinner last night

00:10:13.220 really really fun and um was really aware I thought of you because I had the panic about

00:10:19.580 sharing food and it was a thing where it was a business dinner so you know I wasn't paying right

00:10:27.340 which was exciting right and i there was a reference about a steak free and we'll get a

00:10:33.380 steak free for the table and i was like in my mind i'm starting to spiral because you can't get a

00:10:37.420 steak free for the table like what does that even mean they meant exactly as a side as a share let's

00:10:41.760 order a bunch of stuff we'll get a steak free and i had mentioned that i was really looking forward

00:10:45.260 to steak free and i was like privately spiraling and i was like you can't split a steak free and

00:10:50.420 so and i even i went to a bowl i said speak up and i said i don't know if this place is like a

00:10:55.460 share plate place oh i'm so proud of you and the whole the whole table went silent there were four

00:11:00.320 of us that's an exaggeration but um but they looked at me and he's like really and then

00:11:05.740 so now restaurants right i when did this start happening i'm 15 years ago where they go we're

00:11:11.120 sharing people share what the hell are you talking about i have you what does that mean

00:11:16.920 people have that baked into like the philosophy dining at these restaurants that it's share

00:11:21.060 plates like i understand that when it's like okay yes we're going to like a mediterranean

00:11:25.120 restaurant exactly you know and it's like tapas which also let's get real let's get real it's

00:11:31.740 actually the implication that tapas is inherently like share plates when literally tapas will often

00:11:36.680 come with three you heard me three items of a given thing okay like three arancini rice balls

00:11:43.800 right yeah yeah okay so first of all you're screwed for two two people you're cutting a rice ball in 0.76

00:11:49.220 half. But I believe, yeah, there was a period where sort of these, you know, the big, these

00:11:57.220 sort of renowned Italian restaurants, it was like, no, it's family style. Of course, it's

00:12:01.500 family style, whatever. Right. So people got in the spirit of that. And then these, these

00:12:05.120 hogs, okay, who can't make a goddamn decision. I just, I mean, this is why I only eat with 1.00

00:12:11.580 certain people okay yeah um i mean i i can't even like launch into my literally the material with

00:12:19.600 which i've spoken to the nation on a late night television like i can't even go into the i almost

00:12:24.400 can't even brilliant get into the topic right it's it's too intense for me but like it's a river but

00:12:30.640 i will just go i will no i can't do it in joke form but i will just say a pizza pie has eight

00:12:35.720 slices um do the math okay so it just can't do my own material but it's just someone walking

00:12:43.220 into a room with a pizza over their shoulder yeah as though they've as though they're a hero

00:12:47.280 hero yeah yeah i'm not i'm not gonna go into it okay we'll have to post it separately on the

00:12:53.120 you're sipping from a siete mug that i have not received i know and you know why you didn't say

00:12:58.240 you wanted it isn't that the ultimately said the mug no no they they specifically said which is a

00:13:06.360 brand that we love we love they have grain free lots of grain items is that is that swell brand

00:13:11.320 no or oh wait it's a mug no it's like a it's a um what do you call it like an insulated mug

00:13:18.620 which is great because i've started i've started insulated no it's not insulated no this is

00:13:23.140 oh actually it is look at that that's not insulated no i thought this was like a um

00:13:29.100 you know a camping mug like the because it is splatter enamel oh it is that so it's not

00:13:37.000 insulated okay i got really excited because i was like i've been having this issue for years

00:13:41.280 of the cup of coffee that won't stay hot as though like because like that's like one of

00:13:47.000 those things that they've been working on managing like like they will not stop putting

00:13:51.900 out products that are to keep your coffee hot everything from like a little thing that's in

00:13:55.820 your desk like oh yeah or the thing that's like there's an a hundred dollar thing i saw on like

00:14:00.440 multiple gift lists that's like you plug it in and then you put your cup on it and it keeps the

00:14:05.540 coffee hot like forever and it's like some yes like on your desk supposed to get cold yeah like

00:14:11.240 we can't we can't actually stop time in that way there's no you know raging is the dying of the

00:14:18.300 light for sure but also and also rage against the dying of the light doesn't mean I mean I don't

00:14:25.220 know I haven't revisited the poem in some time but let's just take a second with that right

00:14:28.940 when you rage against the dying of the light it's not saying keep the light burning forever

00:14:33.680 okay it's actually acknowledging that the light is dying yeah and you rage in reaction to that

00:14:39.240 I don't think a USB yeah do not go gently plugs into your right you're going though you're still

00:14:45.340 going but don't go gently I think that's that's the real beauty of that line is the surrender

00:14:50.640 right yeah I think this is huge honestly yeah no it is it is okay call poog what you will

00:14:56.260 no one has okay but but you know what I mean like um no I to me to me one of the reasons that food

00:15:04.280 and drink um is so you know magical and exciting is that it not only elapses in time but it

00:15:14.580 it decays and rapidly, right? You have to, I mean, it's, it's, you know,

00:15:21.460 the meal is there. Like if you're a plate, people have to talk about the orgasm that way.

00:15:27.380 Right. Dinner. The true little death is dinner. That really is. I mean, and we relive it forever

00:15:32.320 and we every day, every day. And that's why it's a noble act. That's why entertaining is a noble

00:15:38.960 act. Feed people to create the good dinner, to, to create that experience, to try to,

00:15:43.060 to try to have it it's it's noble it's noble suffering well also because right their art is

00:15:49.320 you know it's that it's those sand sculptures that get blown away in the wind right and that's

00:15:54.240 like a big that's an essential part of it they're not like spray it with glue we need to say it's

00:15:58.360 like you know those monks right no it's beautiful doing the creating the sand thing and then

00:16:03.520 immediately destroying it or whatever yeah it's like picture a photo of a group of people at

00:16:07.900 dinner okay the classic waiter offers to take it or you know actually remind i have to tell you a

00:16:14.340 story about that okay photo okay lobby so you'll be shocked all right oh wait do we have to get a

00:16:21.000 break i mean all right we're finishing this and then we'll deal with it picture the dinner photo

00:16:26.440 right the classic waiter has been asked to take it flash photography right and and people are

00:16:33.160 leaned it always looks hideous people are sort of leaning in towards the head of the table to try

00:16:37.300 to get as many people the people near the camera are fucked because they're going to be distorted 0.98

00:16:41.160 heinously yeah right think about how bad so you think about trying to capture dinner and capture 0.97

00:16:47.240 the wonder of a dinner and then you think about that as the artifact it's the most perfect um

00:16:53.940 it's the most perfect like demonstration of how dinner cannot be captured yeah

00:17:00.920 those photos are the worst those dinner photos are the absolute worst

00:17:06.140 how do you feel about getting up like you know when it's like hey let's take a group photo

00:17:12.520 the idea of getting up no i hate getting up i mean i'll hold peeing for an hour at a dinner

00:17:19.720 i held it last night oh yeah probably 40 minutes it's like i'm not leaving here i'm cozy in the

00:17:23.700 corner of the booth i have the best seat in the house i have the corner of the restaurant i'm

00:17:26.580 looking at i'm surveying the land oh my god well i also feel like sometimes if you're not moving

00:17:32.440 the need to pee can be sort of sublimated or whatever into like well I'm just a jar of water

00:17:40.360 sitting on a bench like I'm not moving so I'm fine yeah it's not sloshing around piglet

00:17:45.560 all right do you want to know I want to I want your take on this rudeness okay we have to go

00:17:51.960 to break though all right I'll tell a story of utter rudeness when I get back and I can't wait

00:17:55.460 Great.

00:17:59.440 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:18:03.500 It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea.

00:18:08.700 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Trainor, disappeared from a commune.

00:18:12.700 It was hard to wrap your head around.

00:18:14.040 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:18:17.660 No, I am not your guru.

00:18:21.440 And back then, I lied to my parents.

00:18:23.740 I lied to police. I lied to everybody.

00:18:26.420 There were years, writer, where I could not say your name.

00:18:29.360 I've decided to go back to my hometown in Northern California,

00:18:32.000 interview my friends, family, talk to police, journalists,

00:18:34.820 whomever I can, to try to find out what actually happened.

00:18:38.160 Isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods

00:18:41.080 and not the obvious boyfriend?

00:18:42.740 They have had this case for 30 years. 0.92

00:18:45.680 I'll teach you sons of a** to come around here and my wife. 0.90

00:18:48.720 Boom, boom. 0.97

00:18:50.020 This is The Red Weather.

00:18:51.380 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:19:21.380 And Chase Nashville Chats with Chase Matthew.

00:19:23.820 Listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

00:19:33.700 And we're back.

00:19:35.680 We're back, baby.

00:19:37.300 Great to see you, by the way.

00:19:38.280 Great to see you.

00:19:39.360 We're both very...

00:19:39.900 I haven't been in my home in weeks.

00:19:42.160 Oh, right.

00:19:43.820 And I'm back, and I'm with you at my desk.

00:19:45.640 It's a rainy day.

00:19:46.740 I'm in a bathrobe.

00:19:48.240 I woke up.

00:19:48.900 I thought, a rainy day.

00:19:49.840 I'll write today.

00:19:50.680 instead i just proceeded to watch television for four hours i brushed my teeth oh my face

00:19:57.540 i feel little motivation in the morning to do so when when i don't have anywhere to be but

00:20:04.140 you know that is what it is so are you ready for this astonishing rudeness yes and it's also a

00:20:11.180 type of thing are you looking at your phone i'm literally looking at the table

00:20:17.080 all right it's really good to know but you think you know it's fair right or you don't think no i

00:20:22.300 don't look at my phone anymore anymore that's why within the first like 20 episodes of poog

00:20:28.440 i admit i was looking at my phone sometimes not like scrolling instagram no of course but

00:20:37.900 but text would come through and i would exactly my phone is turned over no that that's all i need to

00:20:45.340 know knowing that I can relax yeah so and I think given the fact that there's 20 episodes of Fook

00:20:52.560 I'm not saying that every episode I look but within that no but as a as a like as a rule for

00:20:58.600 yourself like somewhere around 20 you're like all right I'm gonna turn it over yeah all right so

00:21:04.360 I'm gonna tell you a story of rudeness and then I want to see if you have examples of a similar

00:21:08.000 dynamic which is when someone's being rude to you in a particular way that's so astonishing that

00:21:14.420 you don't actually stop it. You want to see how far they'll go. Yeah. Ooh, I have a little bit

00:21:19.740 of rudeness to really go. You'll ride. You'll ride. All right. So I'm trying to move through

00:21:24.640 it quickly. You know, it's hard for me when I go through a story to not just relive it. I'm going

00:21:27.720 to try. So tell it as you feel. Thank you. So I've stayed in a glorious hotel last week. I'll say it

00:21:37.160 the San Francisco proper, okay?

00:21:40.500 I'm sold, I'm in for life.

00:21:42.620 The lobby was incredible.

00:21:44.480 The lobby had endless couches of different varieties

00:21:47.060 that were beautiful, beautiful chairs,

00:21:49.200 and they served food all day long in the lobby.

00:21:51.900 So I would just park, I'd get tea, I'd get whatever,

00:21:54.620 I'd sit there with a laptop, endless plugs.

00:21:56.580 Are you kidding?

00:21:57.380 Okay?

00:21:57.940 Yeah.

00:21:58.340 Anyway, outlets.

00:21:59.960 Endless outlets, wow.

00:22:02.100 The food I just ate all day while sitting on my laptop is heaven.

00:22:07.160 um so it's a very you know online they're like i was reading a thing they're like

00:22:11.200 the most instagrammable hotel whatever which to me almost sounds like it's going to be like 0.66

00:22:16.060 like have you know a neon like sign that says like dick be here now yeah yeah but 0.70

00:22:23.360 no the sign would never say be here now it'd say 0.89

00:22:26.020 i met her on a tuesday or whatever right isn't that what they all say

00:22:32.580 she was gone before she even left

00:22:34.340 so it's these gorgeous couches and stuff right really beautiful elegant you know and I'm sitting

00:22:46.300 in it's a big room with ton endless of these I'm sitting there on a on a couch I'm in my sweatpants

00:22:51.340 whatever because I'm staying in the hotel um nice sweatpants my yaoi's okay it's a cute look

00:22:57.120 to be clear and I've got my laptop out I've got my cup of coffee it's like you know earlyish in 1.00

00:23:02.780 the morning there's a group of women who are all like dressed for their day for the day like that 1.00

00:23:07.060 you know they look like I'm like are they old friends is this a bachelorette type thing there's 1.00

00:23:12.140 women of sort of different ages where I'm like maybe that one's the aunt okay okay and they're 1.00

00:23:19.220 sitting in a gorgeous set of chairs one of them gets up and comes over you ready for this okay

00:23:24.460 comes over to you yeah and I'm sitting there fully set up laptop okay working whatever drinking my

00:23:30.780 coffee and says hey what do you think hey can I ask you a question do you think would you be

00:23:38.540 willing to take a picture of me and my friends okay and I'm like yeah okay I'm happy to do that

00:23:44.420 of course right she goes and then she goes so she gets me to say yeah and then she goes

00:23:49.160 and then second thing could we do it on that couch no 1.00

00:23:55.460 meaning so we get my ass up they leave their their couch because this is a prettier couch 0.82

00:24:05.760 in their opinion they want you to clear your stuff they didn't explicitly say clear your 0.80

00:24:11.080 stuff when i started to sort of whatever it was very like it was very like it's maybe it's not

00:24:15.520 that big a deal i can't explain it in the moment it really did feel like so i just i she goes like

00:24:19.800 but can you you don't have to like move all your stuff just can we just sit on that couch okay

00:24:25.340 and i was like i looked down and i'm like this is outrageous but i'm just like i just go

00:24:30.060 sure all right no of course well she she goes that's not a real question you're so kind

00:24:36.500 oh she kept saying you're so kind over and over again she said it 10 times and it was a profound

00:24:43.640 act of manipulation okay because it was it was would you be is there any way is there any way

00:24:49.460 you got you could take a photo of me and my friends and then i get to go yeah absolutely

00:24:52.780 you know like be the hero and then but could we take it there where you're sitting um and I'm

00:24:58.400 like you know what I mean and then you're so kind you're so kind and I'm clearly not happy about it

00:25:03.260 like I mean I'm like I don't I'm not making like a rude face or anything but I was like

00:25:07.000 I thought about it and I looked at my shit and I was like sure did you have to move a single parcel

00:25:12.880 to make room for them well um my bag my yeah I mean I mean my things I put on the floor and sort 0.99

00:25:21.040 of pushed them under the table that i was eating at that's ridiculous closed my laptop that's too

00:25:26.460 much that's too much and get up and they all file in now to their credit a couple of them well

00:25:32.660 another one came at me with you're so kind and then that's really nice thing to do really nice 0.66

00:25:37.040 thing to do and then this this third one and this i loved okay comes over and she was older 0.86

00:25:41.540 naturally you know comes over horrified on her face i am i am humiliated that is the rudest thing

00:25:49.400 i've ever seen love her loved her loved her and it was like i'm like i'm like it's you know it's

00:25:56.500 fine i get it whatever like you know what i mean like it's fine and then i take a series of photos

00:26:00.400 i over deliver on the photos because i'm always going to because i know what people want and you

00:26:04.720 want to provide options you know yeah and so i do close up i do from afar i do an angle i go on an

00:26:10.680 angle i'm like on the off chance that the diagonal which no one's asking for happens to end up better

00:26:15.360 I'm taking that and then and everyone's like loving it and laughing okay and then the ring

00:26:21.000 leader goes and I thought it was a joke okay I should lay it out that way and then the ring

00:26:25.860 leader goes the ring leader goes like do you think you could like because they're all laughing at me

00:26:30.980 doing like this over the top good job like do you think you could go like like 40 feet away

00:26:36.620 and like get one that has like the ceiling and all the paintings behind us okay and I literally

00:26:41.380 thought it was a joke at first like do you think you could also like suspend yourself from the

00:26:44.040 ceiling yeah you know like that kind of joke and I was like first of all I'd already gotten one

00:26:49.160 that had all the paintings in it you know so I had to back my ass up all the way into a restaurant

00:26:53.320 like what Jacqueline did you do it I did it yeah I did it all and I handed it off and then I'm like

00:27:00.120 I'm like here's what I was thinking I was like it's this beautiful lobby they come here they

00:27:05.000 want the pictures they're staring at the gorgeous peach couch that I'm on and they're thinking you

00:27:09.340 know they're wanting it and i'm like they came here for brunch they all got together it's this

00:27:14.220 special weekend i'm imagining some of them were hugging like they hadn't seen each other a long

00:27:17.400 time and so i was like i'm staying in the hotel like i have access to these couches all week you

00:27:23.820 know what i mean it's not a big deal guess what next morning no they are no no no entire group

00:27:30.320 no in the couch first of all in your couch i came yes i came down and they're on the couch

00:27:36.040 and i was like an acknowledgement they see me i like they see me like you you know i go

00:27:41.080 i said something like i didn't my wit was not there but i was like you got it today or something 0.98

00:27:45.240 like so they're staying in the hotel they had endless opportunity to take that fucking photo 0.90

00:27:52.420 i'm sorry is this not am i not no i'm thinking i'm like the photos because i i actually recently 0.97

00:28:00.240 i felt like i deserved a medal because i was at a restaurant i was dining at a very pretty

00:28:06.040 romantic restaurant with my girlfriend and it was a room where there was like a bunch of tables but

00:28:11.540 we were at one table and then there's this long imagine the nightmare of this i've been anticipating

00:28:15.500 this dinner for a while the reservation had been in the books for quite literally a month perhaps

00:28:19.780 i go in this room there's a long table i go i'm a little scared in comes 15 women 1.00

00:28:27.960 for a birthday dinner okay they're screaming at the top of their lungs

00:28:32.440 they're so excited and i start to go inward i start to privately spiral the night has been

00:28:40.940 ruined so much so the waitress we haven't even ordered food we haven't even put in drink orders

00:28:45.720 yet the waitress comes over and i go i wonder is there's another room we could move to because

00:28:50.720 the restaurant's like a million different rooms oh it's like you put us in a room where it's us

00:28:54.800 and then 14 000 screaming women getting plastered for their birthday as we should

00:28:59.740 yeah and she was like no we're unable to do that and I was like that's a lie but sure and so I start

00:29:06.940 the color drains from my face I start to really worry I'm like this is really painful I'm like

00:29:11.500 hearing them like you know just like they're and yeah they're having fun it's a girls night out

00:29:16.200 sure suddenly I'm hearing them clamoring around and arms going up they're trying to get a photo

00:29:21.980 of the whole table and I being a martyr like you to hold the phone you know to get the angle

00:29:27.600 oh okay so i'm waving you down okay and i go martyrdom stand up and i say do you want me to

00:29:36.520 take your photo i you know and i was like the only way i'm going to be able to to do this is

00:29:41.900 if i just fully succumb the situation she hands me her phone and as we all know phones are coated 0.98

00:29:48.320 in shit piss and calm i mean like there's nothing and this is pre-covid like i always had dirty 0.98

00:29:54.740 it's just the awareness of the dirtiness of the phone right it's it's somebody's body part it's 1.00

00:29:58.300 like phones are now genitals in terms of like yes or you know it's just it's it's this appendage 0.95

00:30:03.940 that's like the phones are disgusting and so she hands me her phone and immediately like oh god you 0.87

00:30:10.020 know and then i do and then they i take a photo of them at the table then they all get up jacklyn 0.99

00:30:16.380 fifth i'm not kidding you 15 women they all get up because they're going to move to take to pose

00:30:22.520 on the other side of the room so I'm waiting there I'm standing up I'm standing there holding

00:30:27.480 the phone and they are slowly making their way really slowly and a couple of them are kind of

00:30:32.480 like wait I got to get my lipstick on like a couple of them no I'm not kidding and I'm standing

00:30:36.520 there holding the phone I'm in the middle of a romantic date this is I wait they're all there 0.72

00:30:43.880 and then groups are inherently assholes any group it was just and it didn't dear me to them because

00:30:50.120 then i i had to show them like you know what you're gonna be loud in this little room i'm now 0.93

00:30:54.780 i've now been absorbed into your party obviously it goes without saying potentially exposing myself

00:30:59.840 to covid as we all do when we indoor dining which at the time i mean this was a couple months ago

00:31:04.240 it was like my second time dining indoors um anyway needless to say we all survived or i

00:31:10.660 can't speak for the party but uh but um but and the meal was bad I'll just say oh wow still had

00:31:21.780 a great time well do you think it's the company that matters so some people it is or some

00:31:29.080 restaurants have things right where it's like like don't what do you think like a fine establishment

00:31:35.620 almost like shouldn't have like a table of 10 or something right should only be in a separate room

00:31:41.300 like almost like if your party is more than six room you can't subject others to a birthday party

00:31:46.840 dinner if and by the way i'm talking about four people six people i'm talking about 15 people

00:31:51.500 no no yeah it feels like that needs to be separated off in some capacity i mean for one yeah it's a

00:31:59.860 nightmare you know for the waiter it's a whole different thing right that's why they have to put 0.99

00:32:03.240 those gratuities on like yeah the guaranteed gratuity because people are such assholes 0.98

00:32:08.040 that when it's a group meal they're all like no one's accounting they're like my my appetizer 0.96

00:32:12.920 costs 13 my my meal it costs 20 they're like so that's um 33 i'll add a dollar to cover tax and

00:32:20.940 tip or whatever i'm adding up the adding up the i'm adding up other people's bills all the time

00:32:26.120 if i look around a restaurant and i see like a fan if i'm at a nice fancy restaurant i see a table

00:32:31.080 of eight all i'm thinking about is the money they're spending i see bottles being passed i

00:32:35.240 mean i i'm i'm doing the math you're like as we all know i can't do math well yeah like that's

00:32:39.880 i'm like it's probably a head grand yeah it's hysterical you're really good at that actually

00:32:47.220 i feel like you're big on tallying like calling something out as like easily a grand is big on

00:32:54.200 you i feel like like you'll be like i'm sorry i mean i think this is a thousand dollars worth

00:32:58.100 a product or something like right in that basket yeah oh my god i hope this sounds okay i'm really

00:33:05.740 having a love affair with my microphone today leaning back's really helping no this is great

00:33:09.960 i um i uh tweaked uh my shoulder muscle trying to do less or trying to do not last minute but

00:33:17.980 christmas shopping for my family last night i was hunched i was laying on my side and then i had the

00:33:22.620 the laptop up on the thing. And I like destroyed my neck, like in the hyper focus of trying to

00:33:28.900 online shop. Yeah. To get the gifts, to get the people, the gifts they need. And, um,

00:33:34.940 I went into a physical store yesterday to buy a couple of presents, if you can believe it.

00:33:38.320 And I have to say leaving the store with three bags, with the tissue paper coming out,

00:33:42.940 I felt emotional. It really was the dream. It was the Christmas dream. And it was also just

00:33:48.500 just to support an independent brick and mortar you know this is a small little

00:33:52.240 place I go to and I just when you find an when you find a sensibly priced brick and mortar 0.99

00:33:59.800 my god I will take a bullet to the face for that when you go into a an independent brick and mortar

00:34:06.960 and they have items that are affordable affordable unimaginable well because so often brick and 0.99

00:34:14.480 mortar, you know, can't blame them. I mean, the costs are astronomical, right? So it almost feels

00:34:19.920 like, God, yeah, you know, you go in these boutiques, it's the thinnest turtleneck you ever

00:34:27.360 saw for three, $350 or whatever. I saw that recently in Minneapolis, you know, and it still

00:34:33.600 had to, still had to do the performance of I'm not leaving because of the price tag instantly.

00:34:38.500 I mean, like still, why, you know, when it should be like, Oh, well, of course I'm not buying

00:34:43.380 anything here like oh god but you know I engaged in some banter with the woman behind the cash

00:34:50.480 register and was yes propelled to new heights of euphoria I just felt so connected where did I have

00:34:57.100 that recently I'm trying to oh the common cold we haven't even discussed my cold oh my god Jacqueline

00:35:02.420 has a cold everyone how are you today versus yesterday better like it really is the first

00:35:10.860 what four days i don't know of a cold that are the worst and day one what's the worst i think

00:35:20.100 your voice sounds good yeah it's it's not bad right now is your throat sore sore throat to me

00:35:24.580 is number one there's nothing worse and that's why it's so demoralizing because it's the first

00:35:30.100 thing that lands in the cold at least for me and as a performer i mean well the other night on stage

00:35:36.780 my voice I had one of those moments where I like the throat gets so dry that I coughed heinously

00:35:43.080 onto the mic yeah okay and then like my voice was just going going going like it was like it's

00:35:47.980 gonna drop out any second and I'm like 10 minutes into the show yeah and so I was internally spiraling

00:35:52.920 and I had to say to the crowd I said okay clearly my voice is going yeah I'm gonna drink tea like a

00:35:59.480 lot throughout the show yeah and I was like and just so I know that we can get to the end like

00:36:04.140 let me just see what happens if i literally lost my voice if i had to whisper into the mic

00:36:07.580 right and i tested it and i was like they can hear me well no but listen to me jacklyn listen

00:36:11.900 to me very clearly here oh are you about to say everyone's favorite fact that's like one of those

00:36:17.300 you know whispering is worse than yelling 90 90 of your heat gets out of your head you know

00:36:24.020 whispering is worse for your voice than yelling and i also had someone tell me who's a trusted

00:36:27.800 performer that lemon is actually not good for your throat this idea of like lemon and water

00:36:32.680 that if you're inflamed, which, by the way, makes perfect sense.

00:36:35.340 That's not shocking.

00:36:36.000 But I have this idea of lemon being medicinal when I'm performing.

00:36:39.860 And, you know, my voice is very sensitive.

00:36:42.080 If I do an hour show, let's say, I can't go to the bar after and scream.

00:36:46.020 I wish I could.

00:36:47.340 I know.

00:36:47.920 But I just can't have to conserve the voice.

00:36:51.020 No, I learned this.

00:36:52.360 There's nothing more glamorous than being on vocal rest.

00:36:54.580 Oh, my, nothing more glamorous.

00:36:57.420 Well, what about when the singers are wrapped in scarves?

00:37:00.120 Like the idea that the scarf, like...

00:37:02.680 is supporting the throat which i mean must be true i lost my voice once during my show and

00:37:09.880 literally had to cancel four four nights of shows it was gone god and i was like okay like

00:37:18.360 i didn't protect like when i felt it going i didn't like intercept you know what i mean like

00:37:22.840 i i didn't let it go i guess i let it go or whatever i don't know but but i'm like never

00:37:27.480 against and i'm very well humidity actually is my number one solve i need to i have yet i can't

00:37:34.740 believe i'm saying i have yet to plug in the canopy the humidifier i can't wait it's very

00:37:38.520 satisfying it has a lightning um it's like usb okay and i often scoff at usb charge devices

00:37:46.780 what about these products that you see that are like a little fan for your desk and it plugs right

00:37:51.220 into your computer and it's like why the hell would i want to take up a port on my computer

00:37:56.560 yeah for a fan with something that heats your coffee from below oh but wait wait wait let's

00:38:01.580 go back to that i remember my mother i used to i read a poem about this in college if you can

00:38:05.160 imagine but it was a single line in it but it was just about my mother you know add forget

00:38:10.720 would her coffee would get cold right yeah she'd forget about it then she'd go to heat it up in

00:38:17.720 the microwave right and then forget about it there too and this is i'm i'm the same with this

00:38:22.340 but it's like so i would come you know open the microwave and just see a cup of coffee in there

00:38:26.040 you know what i mean it never got claimed and it's like the elapsing the knowing that the coffee is

00:38:32.660 cooling while you're drinking it forces you to show up for it and and that is the mysticism of

00:38:39.360 the dinner no of all of it time no you have to you drink it when it's hot that's what makes it

00:38:47.880 coffee that's what makes if you want a cup there is an obligation to maybe not finish it if you can't

00:38:54.700 But reheating, drinking the cup and then going, throwing in the microwave for the last, I mean, it's just, I can't do that.

00:39:04.620 No. And I mean, what I, what I, I often do is like, to me, this is big conceptually to me, I will often take hours to drink like a coffee or something that, or an iced coffee.

00:39:17.160 Like it's, it's melted. Like I'll quote nurse it all day. That kind of shit I've been known to do.

00:39:22.620 but to me because it's been on the journey with me and i've been on the journey with it i'm not 0.98

00:39:27.400 discussed so the lukewarm cold coffee yeah yeah yeah i'm i'm not grossed out by it because i've

00:39:33.800 been with along the way and the related the related detail like this is this is big for me

00:39:38.900 is like let's say you you got nachos i'm like seeing myself at applebee's but you got nachos

00:39:45.760 as an appetizer okay with group or whatever and burger is your meal let's say there's this thing

00:39:52.220 that they do where they act like because the burger is ready suddenly you've lost interest

00:39:56.200 in your nacho i'm sure this is like a core idea for me yeah they attempt to take it away because

00:40:01.100 what's on the plate looks like sort of nacho garbage right it looks yeah it's yeah it's floppy

00:40:07.860 soaked through tortillas and my my spin on this is like no like i knew her when she was young

00:40:13.860 you know like i've aged with this plate of nachos she's she's still beautiful to me i know who she

00:40:21.700 That's the beauty of, I feel like we've talked about this because my, the carnal sin, the thing that sends me through the roof is of course when we take the plates early.

00:40:29.260 I know this is not a, I know this isn't a new exciting thing to say, but it hits me really hard.

00:40:33.500 And it's actually something that my mother always used to do that embarrassed me going out to eat with her because she would hold on to every scrap.

00:40:41.000 And if, if a waiter tried to take, I mean, so much as to a point that was, that I've considered.

00:40:47.360 Slapping a wrist?

00:40:48.040 never no never never rude yeah never actually rude never enacting physical harm on the hand

00:40:52.780 that tries to take it but like where there's such a small amount on the plate that it's like

00:40:56.600 you have to let it go because i understand too oh but i would like to sop that up with the bread

00:41:01.900 right there's juice on that i'd like to sop up and sometimes that's true but she also has 0.76

00:41:06.520 humiliated me with the leftovers where they'll be like the tiniest amount two tortellini left

00:41:12.120 or whatever and it's like let's get a box or like we um we went out we did like a happy hour thing

00:41:17.620 recently and there was guacamole and chips and there was a little bit of guac left and she wanted

00:41:22.040 to take it home and I was like you have to let it go you have to let it go and she was like no

00:41:26.640 and deeply brown by the time it gets home well that's the thing I said I know it doesn't even 0.67

00:41:30.180 guacamole it's not gonna no it's just let it go we didn't finish it it's okay I believe she took

00:41:36.000 it home and I'd be shocked if it had all if it had been consumed later and I do I will say it's

00:41:41.180 a graveyard of leftovers at my parents house when I open the fridge there's a lot of takeout in there

00:41:45.520 it's it's in vain and then of course that stuff turns quick i mean yeah you got to be careful

00:41:50.300 because the leftover is not inherently like the things that are isn't it weird that eating

00:41:55.860 something it goes bad inside you it's so disgusting well that's really disturbing 0.97

00:42:01.880 i've never really thought of it that way i mean no that's true like that's what shit is but 0.98

00:42:05.860 it's really horrifying to think that it's aging inside you well it depends i mean this is some 0.96

00:42:11.580 people's entire reason that they order food they do food in a certain order okay you you you don't

00:42:18.620 want this whole idea is like if you eat like steak or something and then you follow it up with like

00:42:23.500 these vegetables the steak is like so like moving so slow through the vegetables are like fermenting

00:42:28.000 behind it or something oh i know the food ordering no you have yeah you're supposed to eat oh my god

00:42:33.160 the food combining the people that write those books are so sick it's like so sick it's like

00:42:38.100 no because at what point i cannot build my life around around that i mean that's that's

00:42:45.420 really quickly you slip into i think a really dangerous place with food combining i just think

00:42:49.760 it's like yes of course we could have these these incredible digestive systems and i understand for

00:42:54.300 some people who have really compromised digestive digestion like oh yeah yeah sure but like i

00:43:00.420 remember reading one of these books by one of these psychopaths and she was like every day

00:43:03.860 start the day with a bed of arugula with like lemon juice and it's well this is where you and

00:43:12.440 me get into it this is actually rage against the dying of the light right right because to me it's

00:43:16.360 like it's like our goal is not yeah it's like building a bunker it's like survivalist i'm not

00:43:21.340 a survivalist i'll i'll die in the street with my neighbors in the street like i'm not hoarding the

00:43:26.480 i mean i will never be in the bunker the bunker boys but because i watch those shows june day

00:43:30.840 bunkers oh yeah the idea is they're godless they're godless no it's genius no belief in the soul no

00:43:36.760 belief in the soul or their desire to extend their family's life by six months yeah have we talked

00:43:41.400 about this this is the biggest this is the biggest thing so so doomsday bunkers right or whatever

00:43:45.100 those shows they're like extreme bunkers right yeah they you know the camera crews come they

00:43:49.900 show off their bunker they show off how you know if an animal or a human you know their neighbor

00:43:56.020 you know even crosses the line you know one inch under their property guns automatically pop up

00:44:00.680 and you know shoot them whatever just they've thought of everything everything okay for survival

00:44:05.880 so extreme whatever and then they're like and we've got um we've got food stuffs for six months

00:44:11.620 and um yeah that's it i'll see you at six months in four days i mean are you so so everything but

00:44:21.100 then they so they've prepared for everything except for the prospect because then they go i

00:44:24.220 think whatever whatever doomsday would happen i think i think three months six months nine months

00:44:28.260 whatever their number is doesn't matter what their number is two years they go and then two

00:44:31.240 years it'll be yeah it'll be everything so that's the one thing you're having faith in

00:44:35.980 is your estimate yeah about the time that it'll take for for society to first of all after you've

00:44:42.660 killed all your neighbors i know are you really re-entering coming back out i i i um i would say

00:44:50.680 I have respect and regard for my own life but to be so obsessed with one's life you know you have 0.88

00:44:58.860 to ride the line well I think like like we're eating food combining right it's like I experience

00:45:05.460 a colliding of our system our body right and like what how it would work we talk about this all the

00:45:11.400 time we know how to like we know the things we could do to be healthier blah blah yes it's

00:45:16.300 obviously not entirely the goal it's it's a balance right between i mean it'd be like it'd

00:45:21.800 be like we just want to experience pleasure well if you experience it so hard you die and then you

00:45:25.840 can't keep experiencing pleasure so it's this balance of surviving long enough to um but i feel

00:45:32.560 like it's like this the the martini the i say lobster thermidor because i know i was pitching

00:45:38.680 that to you the other day as a mousseau and frank's meal like it's like very like 19 like

00:45:44.320 thermidor 50s i don't even know what that is i think it's lobster thermidor i think that's

00:45:48.820 what it's called anyway it's like cheesy creamy lobster like baked casserole it's like yeah yeah

00:45:54.840 and it's like it's like the pride of the 1950s it's like steak diane that kind of stuff anyway

00:46:01.480 it's like the collision right you want i'm okay with there being a collision between let's just

00:46:07.060 say you know the unhealthy thing and my body yearning for health yeah like i'm okay for those

00:46:12.380 things to bump up against each other of course and not quite work and that's like because we are

00:46:17.280 headed to decay and that's fine and the veil is thinner this time of year i know i love to say it

00:46:26.420 you know i love the veil we're closer to death you mean the other side yeah there's a there's

00:46:32.380 an idea that um i don't know i find it very compelling anytime does it have to do with the

00:46:36.800 weather what does it have to do a calendrical cycle what is it no clue okay hey sure i mean

00:46:44.000 yeah no i mean no clue i mean it's a it's i mean to talk about the veil which essentially is what

00:46:49.980 the veil of maya the you know illusion whatever or the veil between this side and the other side

00:46:55.480 i mean i think there are a variety of uh

00:46:58.140 a variety of different ways

00:47:04.560 into this idea that people have

00:47:06.020 that the veil's thinner.

00:47:07.740 I don't know if it's winter

00:47:09.640 or the proximity to Christmas.

00:47:14.560 Let's get a break.

00:47:15.740 Okay.

00:47:18.480 This is Ryder Strong

00:47:19.860 and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:47:22.540 It was many and many a year ago

00:47:25.540 in a kingdom by the sea.

00:47:27.220 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Traynor, disappeared from a commune

00:47:31.720 It was hard to wrap your head around

00:47:32.960 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs

00:47:36.400 No, I am not your guru

00:47:39.980 And back then, I lied to my parents

00:47:42.800 I lied to police

00:47:44.060 I lied to everybody

00:47:45.200 There were years right where I could not say your name

00:47:48.180 I've decided to go back to my hometown in Northern California

00:47:50.800 Interview my friends, family, talk to police, journalists

00:47:53.740 Whomever I can to try to find out what actually happened

00:47:57.060 Isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods and not the obvious boyfriend?

00:48:01.820 They have had this case for 30 years. 1.00

00:48:04.740 I'll teach you sons of bitches to come around here and my wife. 1.00

00:48:07.760 Boom. Boom. This is The Red Weather. 1.00

00:48:12.060 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:48:18.980 Crook and Chase Nashville chats with the coolest cat in country music.

00:48:22.900 He is edgy. He's fun. He is Chase Matthews.

00:48:26.200 Keith Urban helped make him a global sensation last year,

00:48:28.980 but it's his recent number one hit darling that put Chase on the map

00:48:31.980 and launched a fun and difficult conversation about lovers who cheat and lie.

00:48:37.240 That's why I'm scared to get married.

00:48:38.600 You're giving me trust issues, brother.

00:48:40.140 Crook and Chase Nashville Chats with Chase Matthew.

00:48:42.860 Listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

00:48:46.180 or wherever you listen to podcasts.

00:48:47.900 i want to talk about something that um sometimes i fell asleep last night with my laptop

00:48:58.120 snugly beside me woke up to the blinding charger light and then covered it with a pillow

00:49:04.380 and this question of emfs right and these these electronic yeah fields and they're radiating and

00:49:12.640 i would say every now and then i remember that the phone is in addition to of course

00:49:17.660 ruining my life in every in every way and robbing me of my imagination and my connection to myself

00:49:22.300 and the world around me this idea that it's also buzzing with cancerous radioactive waves that are

00:49:29.560 gently you know massaging your tissue yeah gently massaging your inner tissue my my insides

00:49:36.560 so and i've you know they say the the horror right that is in your iphone or whatever in

00:49:42.180 your smartphone if you read the fine print it's like under no circumstance put this close to your

00:49:46.180 head. And so, and that you're not supposed to sleep with it by your head. You're supposed to

00:49:51.700 sleep with it on airplane mode or within an arm's reach. Right. And of course we all usually sleep

00:49:55.200 with our phones. Um, tucked under our pillow, resting on our forehead. Yes. Uh, and so every

00:50:02.540 now and then, and I want to give you credit Jacqueline because years ago, and I'm talking

00:50:05.760 about maybe at this point, 10, almost 10 years ago, you were the first one to talk about EMFs

00:50:10.700 and you had headphones, you were the first one, you had earbud or you had headphones that had

00:50:17.080 plastic tubes instead of wires so that the electromagnetic field wouldn't get into your

00:50:21.680 brain. And you inspired me with this and I bought them. I bought those air tubes and I wore them for

00:50:25.860 a little while. And then of course quickly abandoned them. But what do we do? Because I

00:50:30.260 ran into a friend and she had an electromagnetic blocker on her laptop so that she wouldn't have

00:50:35.860 on her legs and potentially fry her eggs and become barren um thoughts and what do i do

00:50:42.100 yeah so i went down the emf rabbit hole some time ago oh god so stressful and then i let it go

00:50:50.140 yeah um yeah i think you know it's like if you lived in the 1940s and you're sitting there in

00:50:58.860 the cigarette smoke of the bar it's like kind of like this is the culture you got to live and die

00:51:05.180 with it yeah i agree completely i think that's comforting it's like that is where i don't know

00:51:11.800 that that is where like uh we suffer collectively uh like with the time like because so much of it

00:51:20.380 i guess sort of what's sort of maybe gross sometimes about you know the wellness whatever

00:51:26.520 is like this i matter more than other people like you know what i mean like i'm gonna the

00:51:31.740 individualism of it is disgusting yeah i'm gonna get my air purifier to save me and my closest

00:51:38.220 friend yeah yeah yeah and and uh it's like there is something about i mean it's the same as dying

00:51:47.260 in the streets with your neighbor it's like it's comforting if you can just let go i just had a

00:51:51.660 vision of dying in the street with a neighbor who i like have never really spoken to like maybe like

00:51:56.620 maybe like a nod but like imagine after all that yes dying in the street and like looking over and

00:52:02.680 seeing i'm just imagining looking over and seeing them being like taking my last we take our last

00:52:07.140 breath we look in each other's eyes neighbor and then both pass instantly

00:52:11.420 well no the asteroids hitting the earth no but i do have some nightmares i do have some nightmares

00:52:22.820 is about my fear is um obviously i mean i guess this is everyone right instant death fantastic

00:52:28.960 right pray pray the asteroid hits you right versus you know 2 000 miles away and then comes the

00:52:37.060 tsunami wave similar to the atom bomb okay yeah you want you want to get bombed to bits you don't

00:52:43.660 want to um slowly have you know the skin fall off from the radiation right oof did you watch

00:52:51.360 Chernobyl on HBO we don't have to get into it but sure did I think I somehow skipped the episode

00:52:57.980 about the animals yeah that's one of the most upsetting episodes of television I've ever seen

00:53:01.940 some of the most it's um very well done though I loved it I ate the whole thing up well well

00:53:08.700 anything the kind of um any I just I I am drawn again and again to these stories as you know

00:53:16.260 remember captain scatino uh uh chicken of the sea i mean i'm aware of that phrase

00:53:23.120 so that marketing that's what like i don't know the new york post called him or something that

00:53:27.300 was like the headlines okay because what do you do so captain scatino remember there was that

00:53:31.780 the costa concordia okay like five years ago or something it was like a cruise ship in italy

00:53:37.520 and it would always do this thing where it would sort of go past this spot on a coast and kind of

00:53:42.540 like wave at the people on the shore i don't know it's like this this kind of thing where 0.99

00:53:45.860 they'd kind of go close to the coast and this one captain was like a piece of shit and was like 1.00

00:53:50.480 flirting with a hot babe and like took it too close or didn't handle it and the fucking thing 1.00

00:53:56.620 like hit you know you know uh whatever it hit the bottom of the you know too shallow whatever 0.99

00:54:02.600 whatever it was it hit something and and capsized and sank and many died no okay and there was audio

00:54:09.020 that five years maybe i'll i i'm really bad with sense of time eight years ago not in the 40s i

00:54:14.740 I know it was during my relationship with Chris because he said,

00:54:18.160 I've never seen you more captivated with a news story than Costa Concordia.

00:54:21.520 Oh, my God.

00:54:22.800 And I was obsessed.

00:54:24.680 I was reading everything.

00:54:25.620 I've listened to YouTube.

00:54:27.660 There's a thing on YouTube, and it's in Italian, but there are subtitles.

00:54:30.920 Oh, no.

00:54:31.400 Of the Coast Guard.

00:54:32.180 I feel like I've talked about some poop.

00:54:33.400 No, you haven't.

00:54:33.980 The Coast Guard.

00:54:34.700 I don't recall this.

00:54:35.100 Okay, the Coast Guard talking to Captain Scatino, ordering him to get back on the boat.

00:54:41.760 the captain does not leave the boat while there are passengers and he was truly flirting with a

00:54:46.520 babe on the beach that that well on the on the on the boat but but he he was just like he was like 1.00

00:54:52.380 a cad and and and a fool and an asshole like he's just a ridiculous character and i forget the deal 1.00

00:54:56.920 but it was his fuck up and not only was it his fuck up he abandoned ship okay while there are 1.00

00:55:02.300 still never leave and you can you like like that's your only that's your only move like at least when 1.00

00:55:09.540 you fuck up you go down with the fucking ship or you get off last right and so and so there are 0.99

00:55:15.180 people so so there's audio story yeah there's audio of the of the of the um coast guard like 1.00

00:55:21.180 captain's casino this is the coast guard like like i will make your life a living hell or whatever

00:55:25.060 he's like he's like he's like get back on the ship i need numbers how many people are on board

00:55:29.300 how many people and he's like it's dark he's like i i i i can't get back on the boat like 0.96

00:55:36.260 like he's in a little like he's in a little fucking you know life raft okay it's like 0.99

00:55:42.940 titanic okay and and he's just he's just being like a little asshole and you hear him in the 0.99

00:55:48.920 coast guard is just I am and I was captivated with it and there is like an ongoing thing that 0.97

00:55:53.820 I have which is this belief that I was a sea captain in a previous life okay it just keeps

00:55:57.620 coming up it just keeps coming up from the very first time I like smoked a marijuana cigarette

00:56:01.740 in high school yeah I was like laying on my back in a field and I like had a memory of being on a

00:56:05.820 ship and then like since then just the evidence keeps compiling wow anyway much like chernobyl

00:56:14.060 these these these disasters that that occur as a result of everyone sort of thinking things are

00:56:22.480 fine everyone ignoring details you know i mean like like uh oh the inspections on the building 0.96

00:56:30.760 hadn't been done or this guy like that that kind of shit like really disturbs me yeah of course 0.61

00:56:36.220 because that's how maybe it's because i relate to like in my own life like details getting missed 0.94

00:56:42.800 in my own add or something like that that i'm like well this is i can't be in charge of a 0.95

00:56:47.020 fucking building you kidding oh my god i'm trying to be being responsible for for other people's 0.98

00:56:52.180 lives i mean we're all responsible for each other's lives in a certain capacity of course 1.00

00:56:57.200 But if you're a building inspector, if you're a building inspector, I mean, can you imagine? I actually got a notice on my door. It's kind of exciting. I was in the bathtub and I heard my doorbell and bang, bang, bang, bang, bang. It was really, and I was like, is that the city? You know, I just stayed in the bath. But then, um, hours later I left my home and there was a notice on the door that was like mandatory inspection, you know, for renters, whatever. And ostensibly they had to protect me, right? To come in and go, there's asbestos here, baby, or whatever.

00:57:25.940 yeah and that is exciting to think that there could be someone doing that but that's when i

00:57:33.460 get into the terror of mold which i don't think we even talked about it's such a huge subject

00:57:37.920 people who are poisoned for like 47 000 years because they're in a house with mold well i

00:57:42.740 learned about black mold from you oh god years and years ago around the time anything to teach

00:57:47.420 no it was just fear it was just around the air tubes i'm like just like black mold i think it's

00:57:52.500 black mold yeah oh yeah well I actually today was filling up my my electric kettle with water

00:57:58.020 and I noticed how on my faucet the water is so hard it's like creating this it was peeling back

00:58:04.540 like I was like okay so that's doing that to that faucet and that faucet was installed like

00:58:08.740 three years ago what's it doing to me you know I mean it's just terrifying right I don't filter

00:58:16.140 water a little lemon peel or whatever out of the water okay I mean out of the thing there's that

00:58:20.620 thing where you can like you know you take the lemon or whatever and you rub it on on your um

00:58:25.360 like i remember like it being like does your shower spigot look like this and it's like got

00:58:30.900 that kind of calcified whatever yeah it was like just take a lemon take a bit of lemon oh my god

00:58:36.080 you're you're uncovering a memory i remember that completely that was on tv was it no i've seen that

00:58:42.400 i think as a child on television or something it's very satisfying and i tried it once in in my

00:58:48.000 um apartment in new york and it was like whoa there she is baby she's she's worked but but

00:58:54.140 it's almost just like yeah it worked and sort of like okay that's just the mineral collecting it's

00:58:59.480 not necessarily poison right completely accurate it could just be minerals

00:59:04.440 oh you know what i like what it's gerald steiner or gerald steiner right do you know i'm talking

00:59:12.000 about it's this unbelievable sparkling mineral water that is like the most nutritious water on

00:59:16.900 earth what oh yeah because it's filled with minerals it's so highly mineralized when i went

00:59:21.920 to that healer many years ago i went to this guy and it was crazy to me because he was like a hot

00:59:26.540 healer and i was like right like it was but it's the one that then you was posting with guns or

00:59:31.780 something it was really no that was someone else this was someone who actually went in person to

00:59:34.900 see a few times and he aligned my sacrum and um right and he told me also he came into the room

00:59:40.060 and he dumped all this himalayan sea salt into a cup and he went drink drink this soul but it's

00:59:46.580 salt and i downed it and he was like you need to be pouring himalayan sea salt on all of your food

00:59:51.480 isn't that the soul thing you told me about sol or soul yeah i think that is soul yeah it's pink

00:59:58.000 himalayan you need more mineral but he was like you need to be drinking it was all my migraines

01:00:01.740 he's like you need to be pouring himalayan sea salt on all your food i was like great i love salt

01:00:05.060 and he um he told me you need to be drinking gerald steiner water and i you can get it at

01:00:12.160 trader joe's but they're expensive they're these glass bottles that maybe you know and that water

01:00:17.240 oh honey the fizz and that's the kind it's like the kind of thing where you can leave the cap off

01:00:20.700 of it overnight in the morning still bubbly you know it's like really and if you look at the side

01:00:24.680 of the box they tell you all like the mineral load like all the minerals that are in it okay

01:00:29.660 this is my official plea i officially need to reach out and beg if i started getting bottles

01:00:34.360 of that glass at my home i would fall to my knees yeah oh my god can you might there's nothing i

01:00:40.840 once i think i said this on poof i once subscribed to mountain valley water drop off for like two 0.89

01:00:46.860 months i was like i'm doing it fuck it and it was like designer water it felt so and i guess guess 0.62

01:00:53.320 who drank a lot of water me but it's just too expensive you can't do it psychotic well there's 0.94

01:00:58.340 just also there's just something about i mean i don't know that's why i do like the aqua true

01:01:03.360 i love the aqua tree i love to filter at home bottles and bottles and bottles you saved so

01:01:07.460 much it feels really disturbing no no it's true there's nothing else oh no even the glass clang

01:01:12.620 clang yeah and the weight and and it takes up space like where's that going because i remember

01:01:19.540 one time i was like in a wood in the woods like like drinking beer and this like guy was like

01:01:24.760 like tossed his beer bottle on the ground okay and then was like he's like it's glass it's

01:01:30.340 biodegradable or something i was like what like i was like in 700 years you know what i mean like

01:01:38.440 i don't know how long it takes but like like you're rolling rock it's gonna be your next

01:01:44.620 weekend yeah not to mention the injury forget the earth what about a dog's foot this was also a guy

01:01:52.000 who once said well right there's a guy who once said something to me like um i've been compared

01:01:58.700 to some some pretty um talking about his own powers of manipulation okay and convincing being

01:02:05.500 convincing i've been compared to some pretty um interesting figures from history i was like so

01:02:09.460 yeah yeah yeah and he he was shocked that i was able to guess like the example of hitler being a

01:02:16.640 you know a misunderstood manipulative or just the manipulative like like the whole thing of like

01:02:21.900 well you know hitler was was one of the most um what are you trying to say like uh

01:02:28.700 you know his his his speeches like i know like hitler as the manipulator hitler as the

01:02:35.820 you know what i mean like hitler his greatest offense he was manipulative

01:02:42.400 say what you will but he was manipulative well it would also be funny someone being like

01:02:48.600 imagine they're like obviously like someone who knew him they were like obviously whatever but

01:02:52.660 like he's also incredibly passive-aggressive yeah yeah like if he was also passive-aggressive

01:02:57.780 in addition to being the most yeah oh wow it is important i well i don't want to when you were

01:03:11.160 young would you stare at pictures of hitler i would no but my mother was fascinated with his

01:03:16.560 image my mother made everything about as my my cousin jack says holocaust lived in our home 0.74

01:03:21.640 oh yeah as any as any jew of course it all comes back to my mother anytime clean every night 0.84

01:03:26.600 cleaning up the kitchen after dinner let's see how quickly we can do it let's pretend the nazis 0.80

01:03:31.600 are coming in 10 minutes i forgot about that it's so and then we just clean the kitchen

01:03:35.660 brilliant try to get the dishes in and it's sort of this like what does it even mean i think it's 0.50

01:03:41.360 this sort of sense that if we don't clean up by the time that the nazis will take us and kill us

01:03:45.120 i think it's just sort of abstract in that way yes but the urgency is nazi as nazi as the and

01:03:51.940 then my mother used to anytime there was a small space or any kind of space oh wait this is I always

01:03:57.380 have had that like hiding where you can hide yes hiding so so my mother would go so so my mother 0.72

01:04:03.440 in her like sort of genius intuitive kind of like out their way would at times when I was like a kid 0.99

01:04:12.120 you know like for like do these things or or recommend I do these things that then like I

01:04:17.840 would sort of go to the school or go among friends and it sort of not be received because it was too

01:04:22.420 abstract for them okay so two examples one and like one of these is genius i mean they both are

01:04:28.100 in their own way so for halloween one year i dressed up as a salad okay okay so we stapled

01:04:33.920 i wore you know green things and we stapled or taped like green um crepe paper you know the

01:04:40.260 streamer stuff as like lettuce so sweet cut out red tomatoes okay like all sorts of salad ingredients

01:04:46.300 so I taped them on my thing, and then I held tongs.

01:04:48.620 Oh, my God.

01:04:49.280 It's out of tongs.

01:04:49.800 Yeah.

01:04:50.400 Okay?

01:04:51.060 So, like, so, she's a genius, okay?

01:04:53.620 She also invented the box once without realizing.

01:04:56.720 Wait, what?

01:04:57.680 She arrived at the invention of...

01:04:59.820 She independently arrived at the idea of the box.

01:05:02.640 Yeah, like she was describing it to my father.

01:05:04.680 You can have different sizes, of course, different colors.

01:05:06.840 It was like, you know, like a little thing comes up on the side here,

01:05:11.080 so it keeps it, something from falling.

01:05:12.480 I don't know.

01:05:12.820 It's like, yeah, but then the big one, the classic one,

01:05:16.300 was like that's time for a school project and went to do some kind of presentation and i guess

01:05:20.220 mine was on and frank or something it was like fourth grade but like um and so it was this sort

01:05:25.760 of abstract like empathy exercise where the body of my presentation and you it's like suddenly you

01:05:31.040 realize you have nothing you know what i mean like you came in with this thing other people

01:05:33.800 have these things laid out and posters and whatever i come in and i get up and i go let's

01:05:38.400 pretend we all had to hide in this room or whatever like i get up there and frank and her family and

01:05:44.760 the whole thing was my mother going the 0.62

01:05:46.720 Dusseldorfs could go over here 0.98

01:05:48.400 because the Dusseldorfs were like the other family 0.92

01:05:50.480 the one Anne Frank

01:05:52.880 had a crush on

01:05:53.700 which is like hey I got an idea

01:05:56.780 folks time to re-read

01:06:00.140 it's un-fucking-believable 0.99

01:06:01.820 it's really good shit I mean like 0.99

01:06:04.280 oh 0.99

01:06:05.780 and she's frozen

01:06:08.340 I might want to cut me

01:06:08.640 you're frozen okay now you're back

01:06:11.740 but we also have to leave the episode 0.92

01:06:13.360 yeah and i might want to cut me saying it's really good shit about anne frank's diary but

01:06:17.360 but i mean like it's not cut it what i mean is this it's not um it's not okay i have this theory

01:06:24.480 about like memoir and writing and whatever like it's like it's like you have to offer one of three 0.89

01:06:29.920 things if you have an amazing story like literally something crazy fucking happened to you you're 0.51

01:06:34.100 you know a fame you know whatever like you don't have to be a good writer you don't have to deliver

01:06:38.800 in the level of the prose report and so it's like it's like Anne Frank wouldn't have to be a good

01:06:45.700 writer or have anything to offer in theory for her diary to be you know an important text right

01:06:51.220 if it was just reporting of course but she actually she actually could write could write and

01:06:57.100 some of the first like I remember because I read it as like a little kid it was like there were

01:07:01.140 certain things just ideas ways she was thinking about things that I had like for the first time

01:07:05.500 those feelings of like i didn't know other people thought that oh or i didn't know i thought that

01:07:10.720 yeah that's a good one that's a really good one that's the ideal all right well another episode

01:07:20.640 in the can my friend my little friend and collaborator i'm making latkes tonight i cannot 0.74

01:07:26.840 wait for sex in the city yeah that's nice are you gonna make them the shredded kind 0.87

01:07:33.660 what do you mean like you know some are more like 0.97

01:07:39.620 oh shredded forever never a patty nary a patty get the patty away for me a patty is a different

01:07:48.240 thing that's a yeah that's like a gentile's approach i mean i know it's not actually but

01:07:52.560 it feels like that no shredded shredded baby no the smoked salmon potato salmon creme fraiche

01:07:58.240 applesauce you know all of it that's hysterical first of all because you're doing this kind of

01:08:04.620 gentile's way and then you say creme fraiche i know sour cream okay it's daisy sour cream

01:08:11.000 okay and with that we truly must go all right i love you i love you

01:08:16.280 that was poog if you enjoyed poog please subscribe rate and review if not we will press charges

01:08:28.240 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

01:08:33.580 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Traynor, disappeared from a commune.

01:08:37.520 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

01:08:41.320 No, I am not your guru.

01:08:44.980 Back then, I lied to everybody.

01:08:47.280 They have had this case for 30 years.

01:08:49.860 I'm going back to my hometown to uncover the truth.

01:08:52.900 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

01:09:22.900 Chase Matthew. Listen and subscribe on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen

01:09:28.300 to podcasts. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed human.

Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - December 14, 2021

Dying of the Light

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Transcript