Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - Cheap, Fast, and Good

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00:01:49.880 two best friends both alike in dignity nurturing phantoms and courting the muse

00:01:57.600 the hag divines when something must die yes that was poog but this is huge the ego loves to seek

00:02:04.120 but never to find it was berlant and novak the whole time

00:02:08.280 i am pumped to be here hi kate me too hi i am pumped last night i was lying there going

00:02:16.600 oh we got one tomorrow we need one tomorrow we got one tomorrow we need one tomorrow what's that mug

00:02:22.540 chai lattes saffron we talked we're talking about this saffron so i am hot for saffron okay by the

00:02:30.980 way if you're honest i'm gonna start this episode really quickly yeah if you're not eating for brain

00:02:35.340 health it's brain health brain health brain health brain health get your blueberries my life has

00:02:41.120 changed in a week. And here's how. Cannot wait to hear how. Original poog style mornings could be

00:02:47.400 huge. It's the morning. It's the morning. It is the morning. Good morning. Last night for the 1.00

00:02:54.340 first time, maybe not the first time, but almost the first time, slept with the phone outside the

00:02:59.280 bedroom. I'm going to say this very slowly. We cannot look at the phone first thing. Listen,

00:03:07.060 I know no one wants to hear this.

00:03:08.160 Everyone's driving off the road.

00:03:10.120 Yeah, I know.

00:03:11.360 You literally cannot.

00:03:14.660 It's so hard.

00:03:16.720 I'm in a new world with the phone stuff, right?

00:03:18.940 I have, you know, two phones now because I got a new phone.

00:03:21.520 So the old one has become the correspondent's phone.

00:03:23.940 And it stays downstairs.

00:03:25.180 Oh, I didn't know you were doing my old system, my bad phone system.

00:03:28.440 You know, I lost my bad phone.

00:03:29.520 I don't know where it is.

00:03:30.320 Except I can't, I don't like the naughty stigmatization.

00:03:34.860 It can't be bad phone for me.

00:03:36.140 like so it's a little different work phone kind of it's actually more like communication well i

00:03:42.760 call it correspondence so i have a correspondence center which was a chair with my old phone

00:03:48.520 plugged into it hooked up only to wi-fi i'm not getting text messages from non iphone users there

00:03:55.660 so now i've moved it to a little desk it's not a desk it's a bulletin board resting across two

00:04:02.700 things that's another story diy desk making big for me always has been ikea carl b butcher block

00:04:08.840 countertop people put a top two other things and they have a butcher block desk huge trend anyway

00:04:13.800 the phone stays down there it's only on wi-fi i have to walk my ass over to that desk to do any

00:04:18.980 texting and then i have my old computer there which i'm a hacker for figuring out a way to

00:04:24.900 work with just by half the keyboard being gone and point is like chris caught me and he's like

00:04:29.700 what do you mean you're sending an email you're not at your correspondence desk interesting i go

00:04:34.340 over there it's like it's 1910 i have the law office okay and that's where you know the calls

00:04:41.580 come in and i write my letters back to the people and out they go huge vitamins okay that's the next

00:04:50.160 piece of the morning d3k2 i listened to a rival podcast i mean it's horrendous the skinny

00:04:57.940 confidential have you heard this they have like 14 billion follows or whatever it's a couple

00:05:03.220 there's like christian undertones i don't know what's going on i did a quick scan they like have 0.97

00:05:07.660 ivanka trump and shit on there it's really weird they're impossible they're insufferable too i'm

00:05:13.200 very confused by the fitness because that's a brand i like bought mouth tape that was like the 0.99

00:05:18.460 skinny confidential i'm like so is that their brand i don't know what the hell is going on

00:05:21.980 i got fed them through something random or then i was listening to gary brecca on there

00:05:26.580 of the gary brecca smoothie that we had at air one remember when i was drinking the gary brecca

00:05:31.200 smoothie every day for like four months and he's also some like one of these like freakish there's

00:05:36.540 always like these like freaks and like the health space or whatever where it's like he's like i'm

00:05:40.240 not a doctor like okay well it's important to be saying every 30 seconds as you say all this

00:05:44.940 he's like i'm a human biologist but then it turns out he just worked for like he was like a he was

00:05:50.080 like an insurance guy i don't know what the hell is going on however i completely i absorbed what

00:05:54.880 he said as complete truth and was ready to build my life around it because he also shouted out he

00:06:01.080 was like i'm not affiliated with them at all but perfect aminos well they were in the gary brecca

00:06:05.040 smoothie i know so so i'll tell you what gary brecca said and i'm kind of convinced like okay

00:06:09.540 i guess i gotta do this now oh this sent me on you i think you i sent it to you because he goes

00:06:13.900 here's what you need to be doing every day you need to do fish oil or black seed oil if you want

00:06:17.580 a vegan alternative right he said you need d3 with k2 and then he went on this big thing about

00:06:23.080 and I don't even understand the goddamn what this means methylated vitamins because I did

00:06:27.840 research after you told me so I'm trying to find a methylated multi he said thorn he's like I let 0.96

00:06:32.620 I'm into thorn he's like he's like I'm not as associated with that I'm not associated with

00:06:35.980 symbiotica but I like that stuff so oh he mentioned symbiotica yeah so I purchased from symbiotica 0.69

00:06:42.000 out of pocket the glutathione packet and then what's happened by the way it's fucking expensive

00:06:47.780 you post it on instagram okay I'm not on there so I'm not looking I get a text from my father 0.58

00:06:52.280 It's so funny because it's still up.

00:06:53.800 He can just access it on the gram.

00:06:55.600 Well, he wanted more.

00:06:56.820 He goes, I saw glutathione on there.

00:06:59.160 Do you recommend that brand, Cybiotica?

00:07:01.060 Yes, we do.

00:07:02.480 Because Gary Brucker says so.

00:07:04.200 Yeah.

00:07:04.920 So obviously most of the world wakes up early.

00:07:08.260 We don't have real jobs.

00:07:10.180 We're childless.

00:07:11.220 We don't wake up early.

00:07:12.380 Right.

00:07:13.140 So it's like I had to, I was working this week on a job where I had to wake up at 6, 545.

00:07:22.280 Yeah.

00:07:22.700 And then it starts to happen.

00:07:23.600 You do it three days in a row.

00:07:25.020 The doll eyes flutter awake.

00:07:26.500 The brain, right?

00:07:27.640 It's unbelievable.

00:07:28.220 How early would you fall asleep?

00:07:29.960 Well, I've been getting tired 10, 30.

00:07:32.420 Yeah.

00:07:33.340 But the other night, I could barely keep my eyes open past 930.

00:07:36.360 And I go, right, this is what it is.

00:07:39.380 These are the hours we're supposed to keep.

00:07:41.580 I know.

00:07:42.220 I know, man.

00:07:43.560 Like, it's really, and then last night, you know, we're deep in kitchen nightmares.

00:07:47.840 It's all, you know, watching kitchen nightmares every night.

00:07:49.860 So cozy.

00:07:50.840 Falling asleep.

00:07:51.480 you're into that couldn't keep my eyes open past i mean this was last night it was and then you

00:07:57.280 spring to bed like like okay no no what i love falling asleep on the couch pure heaven and then

00:08:03.280 being i my favorite thing not to regress but i love being awoken and then taken to bed right

00:08:09.860 yeah carried

00:08:11.940 no but led led with love incredible dinner last night at holy basil in atwater village

00:08:19.820 here in los angeles what did you have on did you get your own appetizer

00:08:24.620 yeah actually or does it or no family style but i'm not around really fabulous and a vermicelli 0.60

00:08:32.580 that i'll never forget which is a pad see you vermicelli un-fucking-believable

00:08:37.660 by the way we're teasing something new here on the podcast because if you're listening to us 0.54

00:08:44.080 free don't worry we're not going to start i'm not going to start doing an ad for this premium

00:08:48.320 subscription, but let's just say this. I have a new tinted sunscreen that I paid out of pocket

00:08:53.080 for. It's a makeup item that I'm obsessed with. And if you want to know what it is, you're going

00:08:57.900 to have to become a premium subscriber. And it's unreal. We'll do our rundown at the end of this

00:09:05.780 app. Part four, and that'll be on the premium. Dig? Yeah, folks. You heard it here first.

00:09:12.600 Folks, I hope you're seeing part four. What's it called at the end of the movie when the credits

00:09:18.100 roll and then the other thing happens post post roll what is it if you want to know the other

00:09:22.080 special vitamin that i'm going to start integrating you're going to have to pay two folks listen it

00:09:25.620 sounds mean it sounds cruel but it's just we got it we got to make a dollar here i'm also over here

00:09:29.680 going oh god you know plastics plastics are in everything right i'm going down the the rabbit

00:09:34.780 hole of saw that article no i mean what every article my whole life what do you mean no there's

00:09:40.520 a new level oh no i didn't read it i saw a headline okay but it was like what i'd say you

00:09:45.580 know a tablespoon rock size size of plastic like like a rock of plastic found in like the brain

00:09:52.860 yeah I believe it like slowly you know and listen I have to change my life meditation or else

00:09:59.460 meditation or else and there's no one to blame but myself but I need to go far away I need to

00:10:05.720 go on like a 10-day silent retreat or something or just put my phone down I can't you know it's

00:10:10.640 If it doesn't happen in-house, Kate, it never will.

00:10:14.100 I know.

00:10:14.880 I almost.

00:10:16.400 But it's a kickstart.

00:10:17.540 Don't believe in the kickstart.

00:10:20.380 It hurts, okay, because all I want to do is, oh, the writing retreat as the kickstart to.

00:10:25.700 Right, right.

00:10:26.440 It's going to hurt as much day one in your own house.

00:10:29.360 Yeah.

00:10:29.940 If you can't build the habit inside you.

00:10:33.860 It's over.

00:10:34.500 I don't know.

00:10:34.860 Maybe that's extreme.

00:10:36.000 is maybe that's self-punishing but I've been burned too many times by thinking I can create

00:10:43.300 it elsewhere. The mornings it's this simple though 10 minutes wake up don't look at it just 10

00:10:50.540 minutes anything but the phone you can live a new life. Well my morning module which is on a little

00:10:55.600 green index card. What's your morning module? Have I told you about my morning tray yet? No. So I

00:11:01.640 have a tray okay it's mint green and I think I got it at Ikea but you know I have labeled it with my

00:11:07.780 label maker my p-touch my brother p-touch it says morning okay okay it's sitting near the foot of my

00:11:16.060 bed on a little mini dresser what's on it meds okay the med that I take every morning usually

00:11:22.060 this is chaos that happens sometimes in the morning okay I'm like I do it instinctually

00:11:29.040 And then I forget if I've done it.

00:11:30.360 And I say, Chris, did I just take my Albutrin?

00:11:32.220 And he goes, I don't know, because it's so familiar.

00:11:34.340 I thought you had the little timer thing on it.

00:11:36.180 I do, but I forget about the timer.

00:11:38.040 So the pill gets taken before I leave my room, before I even leave my bed.

00:11:42.980 Got it.

00:11:44.020 I've got a B12, whatever, I forget.

00:11:46.860 Spritz, spritz.

00:11:47.760 I've got a D supplement, spritz, spritz.

00:11:51.180 I've got a few other, you know, supplements on the tray.

00:11:54.660 And then what else do I have?

00:11:55.820 Oh, my journal sits there.

00:11:57.500 And my second journal.

00:11:58.540 the dream journal. Oh, and now I got a new thing. Are you ready? So. And are you writing in it

00:12:03.320 first thing? Well, I've been a little sloppy with that. Okay. I mean, the dream journal. Yes. I mean,

00:12:12.060 if I, if I have it, I remember. Okay. But my upgrade, I have a full bottle of Mountain Valley.

00:12:18.060 Okay. You know, I don't drink a lot of water. Okay. I've got Mountain Valley spring water.

00:12:22.420 It sits on the tray and a glass. I go, people have been doing this for ages, a glass and a

00:12:27.980 carafe. You can even buy one if you want to be one of those women. Okay. So to take the various 0.92

00:12:32.440 supplements, I have water ready to go right there. I pour it into a glass. So I'm not chugging from

00:12:38.300 yesterday's mountain valley, like a piece of shit. So that's morning module. Trying to think 1.00

00:12:44.400 if there's anything. Oh, and then it's like, you know, meditate, you know, spiritual, whatever,

00:12:49.460 you know, question mark. I think I have morning pages on there right now. It's,

00:12:53.460 Oh, sunshine, 15 in the eyeballs.

00:12:56.000 Sunshine in the eyes, 15 minutes? 1.00

00:12:58.180 That's a fucking lie. 0.99

00:12:59.120 I think... 1.00

00:13:00.100 You're joking me.

00:13:00.880 15 minutes?

00:13:01.380 I think you're supposed to try to get 15, so I've got to stack that.

00:13:04.860 Oy vey.

00:13:06.580 And I've got an evening module.

00:13:10.160 Sometimes they're a little overly ambitious.

00:13:12.660 Includes tidying up.

00:13:15.420 Mm-hmm.

00:13:16.100 Do you ever do this at night specifically, like tidy up from the day?

00:13:21.680 Yeah.

00:13:22.020 Well, I found my partner's extremely neat.

00:13:25.760 Wow.

00:13:26.600 Yeah, which is huge.

00:13:28.060 It was mine, actually.

00:13:29.200 And I found that, you know, all the cliches are true, right?

00:13:32.220 Waking up in the kitchen is spotless.

00:13:35.440 Unreal.

00:13:36.100 Changes your life.

00:13:38.220 Unbelievable.

00:13:39.540 I mean, I'm so fixated on these new improvements.

00:13:43.100 So I've got morning tray, I've got evening tray, I've got out-the-door tray.

00:13:46.680 I think I told you about all this. 1.00

00:13:48.440 But it didn't stick the first time, I guess, so fuck it. 1.00

00:13:51.560 so yeah so i've got one that says out the door and it's all the shit that i need to take with 0.99

00:13:56.860 me when i leave includes spf it's like i'm not going out that door without putting on some spf 0.96

00:14:02.380 well i have to say and um one skin my i think my favorite body spf now is officially the one

00:14:10.720 skin body spf it's so moisturizing i'll be bleeping that and saving that that uh i love it

00:14:16.780 i want to be the end wait and i'm yeah have you been spiritually how have i been yeah spiritually

00:14:24.020 emotionally let's say i feel connected right now i was away from god for a while but i'm back i'm

00:14:29.040 getting back remember when you said god's my friend no i don't actually but i believe you

00:14:35.840 because i was like saw this thing about like god can handle your wrath and you're like but god's

00:14:40.600 my friend what's the deal with shilajit who symbiotica makes it oh also i've been so i'm

00:14:48.980 having a love affair someone told me because i've been drinking cortados for years okay and cortado

00:14:54.160 is basically what i do every morning i've got the bravo bambino there i'm pulling a couple shots

00:14:58.000 less it's a small steamed milk right yeah it's like i don't want a full latte but i do want

00:15:03.680 milk they're always like i think you what you mean is a cortado when i order what i want and

00:15:08.100 Then I always forget.

00:15:09.200 Well, somebody was making fun of me saying a Cortado is like very hip right now.

00:15:13.140 Like it's back.

00:15:13.760 Like it's a trend getting a Cortado, which now I feel a little embarrassed.

00:15:17.280 There I am ordering my Cortado.

00:15:18.840 When the trend catches up to how you live your life and you're briefly Trendly.

00:15:23.120 I know.

00:15:23.880 Trendly.

00:15:24.640 My daughter, Trendly.

00:15:26.320 It's so good.

00:15:27.720 I want to talk more about saffron.

00:15:30.300 It's not cheap.

00:15:32.160 Honey, it ain't cheap.

00:15:33.100 I looked it up and I was like.

00:15:34.900 No, because you see like if you research saffron.

00:15:38.100 coconut milk based yeah on uh reddit and stuff people are like my saffron harvest for the year

00:15:44.940 and it's like because you know it's the most i think it's like the most expensive spice per

00:15:49.280 weight or whatever because one of those little threads um and i love i mean dr gregor was like

00:15:58.060 had like four videos okay literally like like helps with age-related macular degeneration

00:16:03.960 the brain like dementia brain yeah mood adhd by the way you know what's so delicious that i used

00:16:11.100 to make jacqueline saffron rice you literally make race the rice the way you make rice and you just 0.94

00:16:15.880 goddamn throw a thread of saffron in there and it's beautiful there's this little burst of color

00:16:20.700 in the middle of the rice rice see i made some gorgeous sushi rice the other night no i wonder 0.98

00:16:26.360 if i i wonder if if you had i wonder if you had saffron and by the way this is gonna be an issue

00:16:31.300 saffron or saffron because i say saffron yeah me too even though it's probably like saffron

00:16:36.320 whatever point is could you get the therapeutic dose in the rice alone do you think depends on

00:16:44.740 how dense you go but they always say less is more of the saffron do you see what i'm saying though

00:16:48.720 really what if part of your dinner was always saffron rice would it be the what i believe is

00:16:53.680 30 grams that can't be right something like that that they say because i want the therapeutic dose

00:16:59.400 that they studied and i want it daily how do you get it well the fullest says a therapeutic dose

00:17:05.960 and then i i simply couldn't wait i ordered out a pocket it arrived today it's downstairs okay so

00:17:12.180 you wait you mean the huge pouch or the glass um the pouch because i am also completely into

00:17:20.380 i'm trying to as i believe i've shared trying to get more back into the chai

00:17:26.240 sort of not just coffee coffee coffee and i'll say it on every episode until someone has the

00:17:31.080 answer for me we're no longer fucking around with the whole we don't care that you know 0.78

00:17:36.440 tea is leeching the bags blah blah and the whole like we no longer don't not care you know what i'm 0.95

00:17:44.500 trying to say we care okay i can't live like this anymore melting that melting the plastic

00:17:48.860 no you know tea pigs you know tea pigs tea oh it's like it's that brand with like you know they

00:17:56.240 all oh yeah the triangle pyramid yeah of course and then i'm going so anyway everyone knows i've

00:18:01.800 been talking about for weeks no one has answered the call hole in the marketplace maybe that's our

00:18:05.760 one of our first products okay but because guess what i can't do brew tea loose it's too it's too

00:18:14.900 hard man nightmare it's hell on earth by the way it's an it's an entire lifestyle adjustment and

00:18:21.380 it's a personality he is a personality disorder at this point well well when you add up the sheer

00:18:28.160 hours devoted to trying to i mean get out of the strainer into what i ask you into another strainer

00:18:35.360 because how are you going to get okay when the stuff is caked in the strainer right what's the

00:18:40.200 easiest way to get it out hose it with water where can you do that in the sink now it's in

00:18:45.800 the strainer of the sink how do you clean that hack it over the boom over over a trash okay and

00:18:54.360 there's still little ones in there and then what do those do go down the drain it's like it's it's

00:18:58.880 a solutionless hell so so we either we have two options kate everything's cheap quality or time

00:19:07.680 right time money and you can either have it good and cheap but not fast

00:19:14.240 just right right you can have it cheap and and um fast but not good no that was the same one we

00:19:24.440 just said we said it reverse you can have it good and fast but not cheap good and fast right not

00:19:30.060 cheap and then what else is there it's actually like like it's like a cliche but it's actually

00:19:35.660 like so genius when you think about it i'm just staring at this good cheap fast what's the one

00:19:42.580 we're missing fast and cheap won't be good cheap and good won't be fast good and fast won't be

00:19:50.100 cheap okay okay anyway anyway point is point is we've so we have two options we research and we

00:19:59.800 find some kind of paper bag and we build our own tea bags at home with quality tea bags i think 0.98

00:20:05.600 they do that but what are they made of hemp sweetheart really and by the way it's fucking 0.88

00:20:13.940 expensive yeah when was the last time that you needed to go to a doctor but you pushed it off 0.65

00:20:23.840 you've made the excuse that i'm too busy i don't need help it'll heal on its own or if you're like

00:20:29.640 me you're paralyzed by indecision you don't know how to book an appointment or which doctor to even

00:20:37.080 go to we've all been there and booking a doctor's appointment is just one of the most daunting

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00:21:49.820 Oh, I thought this was interesting because someone once said to me, they were like, 0.54

00:21:54.000 just so you know, your red receipts are on. Okay. And I was like, oh, I know, like, I'm not ashamed

00:22:02.180 of the fact that I like, you can see a text and still not be in a position to be able to reply to

00:22:07.100 it. You know what I mean? Of course. Oh, well, by the way, by the way, that is a huge part of life

00:22:13.640 because also, yeah, I saw it. I lifted up and saw it. This happened to me recently where,

00:22:18.420 because we've all been, had our, maybe our feelings hurt or felt overlooked by someone

00:22:22.580 we send a text we don't hear back right but then you have to go it's modern life you know you you

00:22:26.980 have to know that and so this happened to me just the other day someone sent me a you know three

00:22:32.300 inch text nice text and i saw i went oh and then you know looked up and was swept into the current

00:22:40.060 of life and not responding was no reflection of my being touched by the text or my warm feelings

00:22:47.020 toward this person and it was like you know days later like waking up in a cold sweat oh my god i

00:22:51.820 never responded i just remembered one right now that's lingering and then and then i'll go even

00:22:55.840 further with this the only response i could summon was to heart the text i know what you're thinking

00:23:01.000 this is cold-blooded it's not and there's some some texts here i mean you know what is hostile

00:23:05.760 i mean i know people love pointing out that like emoji or or whatever i said so this is already

00:23:12.160 a cliche but there's something a little or maybe not hostile there's something a little

00:23:18.180 funky about exclamation point and sometimes it's the only thing to do to throw one back to go holy

00:23:26.080 shit right yeah but it's like I don't know it's um it's weird but but Kate this is all to say

00:23:33.740 they said it to me like just you know like kind of like they were they were trying to be like 0.69

00:23:38.800 I see that you see my texts and don't reply right away we're gonna sidebar and I need to know

00:23:44.440 exactly who this is it wasn't like i'm maybe i'm making it sound like even more i just mean it was

00:23:49.220 like by the way i'm not doing a perfect impression point is your red receipts are on and i haven't

00:23:53.900 wanted to tell you directly because i don't want to imply that i think you owe and i'm just telling

00:24:00.980 you so you know because by the way red receipts this is terrifying so yours are on because are

00:24:06.640 hearing me mine yes Jacqueline you're kidding me wait wait hang on so you just told me a story

00:24:16.220 about someone else telling you this but you're using this you're telling me this about mine

00:24:20.100 so this is what I'm saying Kate I'm saying like yesterday I saw and I'm so used to red

00:24:25.580 receipts being on mine yes that I like don't even think about it right and so

00:24:33.800 and mine are probably on i don't even know right so but every time the moments that i'm about to go

00:24:41.160 you know your red receipts are on okay i've sort of like stopped myself because i'm like i'll tell

00:24:46.180 her in person literally don't don't want it to be like and your red receipts by the way on

00:24:51.740 this is huge i know by the way no i'm looking i just saw it send red receipts now i'm going

00:25:01.860 so your phone our phones are are doing this to us guys because i remember a long time ago someone

00:25:08.820 also said hey fyi your red receipts are on and i said well i've never turned them on as long as

00:25:15.820 i've lived right because maybe it's the god's name does that no i'm checking right now you're

00:25:21.180 right ours were on it's an interesting idea i'm trying to go what would be the benefit of

00:25:26.220 read receipt okay what that's a really good one i have an idea my mom has them which i like because

00:25:32.900 i like knowing okay she saw the text i guess it could work in the field okay right exactly you

00:25:39.220 know that your handler yeah yeah you're like pull from the left without them buzzing you back saying

00:25:45.140 copy got it copy exfiltration coming sort of one-way communication something interesting

00:25:50.520 about that this by the way i know everyone can't see right now marionette lines popping i'm gonna 0.58

00:25:56.900 should i on air buy a fucking pure lift well i want yeah maybe i'll buy oh my god should we 0.85

00:26:04.780 buy out of pocket right now live live feel the pain oh my god let's look at this pure okay 0.97

00:26:12.740 because there's a lot to say wait am i seeing a sale there can't be a sale because it's a pure

00:26:16.940 lift labs or okay i'm seeing oh they're also in face gym wait really i'm seeing 4.99 marked down

00:26:24.920 to 3.99 except here's interesting kate pure lift pro edition 7.99 that is maybe it's two and one

00:26:34.720 like maybe it's literally it's two what do you mean it's two two for one wait i'm trying to

00:26:39.180 understand that there's two in the thing but i can't tell if they're just standing there like

00:26:43.140 to show themselves off or not oh right that has to be that they're no yeah it really looked like

00:26:50.040 they were saying there's two and they're different sizes there's an issue of depth

00:26:53.720 799 pure lift pro edition 799 dollars holy shit the 499 one which looks closer to the model i had

00:27:03.500 and then there's the idea oh one star someone gave it oh here we go such a bummer when you get to 0.66

00:27:10.760 like when it's all these reviews and you're soaring like with the positivity and then you get a bad

00:27:16.240 one and you're just like that happened recently i was reading because i've been so off lima

00:27:20.360 i was reading about lima then i saw someone be like this is a total scam and i was like whoa 0.50

00:27:25.860 no and it like worked i was like damn shit what was this what were they claiming was scam 0.99

00:27:32.400 like about it just for like it's not real doesn't do shit so all right we're talking marionette lines 0.99

00:27:40.040 mm-hmm i mean all the massage girls all the facial massage girls i know and ig they're 0.75

00:27:47.600 telling us what are they telling us i'll tell you hold on i gotta find you

00:27:50.840 last night in bed like there i am watching it i'm like how did this happen how did this get

00:27:56.180 in the way of my module how am i in bed with the phone watching those videos anyway so what

00:28:00.600 they're telling us kate basically it's all about platysma okay pulling everything down the platysma

00:28:07.120 is like that apron that goes all the way down here okay you're always showing it it's a whole

00:28:12.220 it's it's it's like you know oh that's why it is because isn't it almost counterintuitive it feels

00:28:18.020 like a tight neck would tighten your face well this is the question kate some muscles overworked

00:28:24.220 some under if you've got this muscle tight then the other one is slackened and weak it's see

00:28:31.460 another business idea but when when face gym first launched okay i actually was like

00:28:37.640 okay here we go i'm sorry i'm laughing i'm laughing in this podcast because it's like

00:28:44.340 years of this podcast and we have been begging about a face gym for like 17 years begging to go

00:28:50.620 no begging to get a face i'm sorry begging pure lift i mean pure lift we've been begging for the

00:28:55.400 pure lift for so long and just the the eavesdroppers just hearing i'm just imagining being 1.00

00:29:00.220 again being like these fucking bitches shut the hell up they love it like we tune in it's like 1.00

00:29:08.960 why i tune into goddamn taylor sheridan shows i don't even know who that is i know i've told 1.00

00:29:13.940 you about him in the past like yellowstone and these and oh of course of course it's just like 0.77

00:29:17.640 i want to hear billy bob walk around and say like you know like darlin like it's just like you know

00:29:23.340 us begging about you know put you to sleep but that's begging up your life anyway but wait so 0.94

00:29:28.440 the muscles a couple things and then you know the overactive dao the or ridiculous

00:29:36.880 anterior depressor how is dao it's like all the you know this is all i get served on instagram

00:29:43.460 this year okay and it's like all right you know okay no that's great is they're like do it 0.80

00:29:49.700 the new people okay they're like you know do it get it really fucking strong okay work it

00:29:56.420 and then they're like it's contract and then release stressful it's interesting because it's

00:30:05.860 i come back to this again and again i don't actually care that no that that's no you know

00:30:11.740 what it is everyone's like this they care about what they care about everyone's vain right some

00:30:18.420 people just don't find this particular element of aging whatever you know what i mean it's like

00:30:24.280 It's like, yeah, structurally, I'm interested in any, anything.

00:30:28.600 Oh, but wait, wait, wait, okay.

00:30:30.740 When Face Gym first came out and I heard about it, I go, holy shit, that is an idea, okay? 0.65

00:30:35.720 That's an idea. 0.98

00:30:37.340 You go in, it's fucking however long it is. 0.96

00:30:40.860 It literally is a workout, okay, that probably starts somewhere at the shoulders, if we're being honest. 0.98

00:30:47.720 They would get to the point where it's the whole body because everything starts at the feet. 1.00

00:30:50.560 The asshole is the whole thing. 1.00

00:30:51.380 Why does this happen? 1.00

00:30:52.760 why isn't someone teaching this group classes hey come here we're going to teach you how to do

00:30:56.700 facial massage okay and you go in and do the work out there yeah yeah okay and then you learn it and

00:31:01.680 then you go in you go for a hardcore session and you're doing all the the manipulation the whole

00:31:06.520 thing when i first went to face gym i was i won't lie disappointed okay that it was passive that i'm

00:31:11.920 just lying there and they they're just doing your face yeah they define it they go cardio they go

00:31:18.020 cardio, weightlifting. They actually like branded it like that. And then the cardio was like them

00:31:24.700 flapping your face really fast. Yeah. Well, I got a text. I was texting with an unbelievably

00:31:31.160 gorgeous woman who was like, this is the buckle massage woman. The one to go to? Yeah. Okay. I'm 1.00

00:31:37.480 interested. And it wasn't kosher? It was someone else? Some woman that comes to your house and

00:31:42.780 gives you like an unbelievable buckle massage. Wow. You have to work the right muscles and 1.00

00:31:47.520 release and then it's it's a goddamn it's a tough job it's more involved than a than a than a 0.90

00:31:54.240 average workout program i mean if you were really going to do it it's like working out itself is a 0.96

00:31:59.600 huge thing working out getting yourself to that and now i gotta do it to your face i mean it's

00:32:03.760 just it really is a weird time of like of like you know instagram like like just like flooded

00:32:13.220 with people who proudly have no credentials fine wild west i'll take it you know what i mean but

00:32:19.500 laying it down like here's how it is like they're like what people don't realize is but actually

00:32:26.140 that okay yeah and then like you know you know you were talking about like because i get served

00:32:31.160 a lot of chiropractic videos where they do these neck cracks and there's emotional releases and

00:32:35.080 you're like it's not safe it's not safe and then i was looking something up they were like i know 0.76

00:32:38.860 an er doctor who said it happens more than you think like fucking slicing the the artery or 0.84

00:32:44.120 something like the artery the vessels in your neck are so fucking fragile there are chiropractors who 1.00

00:32:49.420 know what they're doing whatever but the shit is not something you just go down to the fucking 0.99

00:32:54.080 corner and get your neck snapped it's like please be careful everyone i had someone recently i had 0.99

00:32:58.380 to trust it i had a woman doing acupuncture on me not my current woman who i'm who i was like 0.73

00:33:02.880 changed my life but my other woman the one who i didn't break up with i just stopped going i'm

00:33:07.580 scared to even reach out for a super bill. And she, um, she was like, would you mind if I did

00:33:12.380 a neck adjustment? And I was like, yeah, let's not do that. Sweetie, sweetie pie. Cause you know,

00:33:18.560 they love it. Yeah. And I'm sure, listen, I was getting, I was going to a chiropractor when I had

00:33:23.200 my tailbone issue years ago and it was the only thing that relieved the pain. And I thought,

00:33:27.180 oh my God, I'm cured. And then like two hours later would come back. But she would, I remember

00:33:30.740 cause she was my age having fully putting your body into someone, you know what I mean? It's

00:33:35.160 like she's young and she's snapping my spine and it was fucking scary and i remember looking over 0.68

00:33:40.600 she had like an eight by ten is that big it was a big bigger than eight by ten photo of her of her 0.74

00:33:46.480 child yeah i'm waiting to tell me what and i'll tell you and we were the same age it's like a

00:33:51.400 headshot yes it was like a headshot of her son her baby son and she was my age and i was like

00:33:56.280 this is something's something's and now they do baby and people are doing i don't know the internet

00:34:02.440 just Instagram

00:34:03.180 oh yeah

00:34:03.700 their first adjustment

00:34:04.920 their neck's adjusted 1.00

00:34:05.600 it's like Jesus fucking Christ 1.00

00:34:06.860 yeah 0.99

00:34:06.900 it was like served 19 times

00:34:08.760 this um

00:34:09.540 what was it called

00:34:10.180 C-section adjustment

00:34:11.400 they're like

00:34:11.920 they're like

00:34:12.720 so you were like

00:34:13.820 wait what

00:34:14.820 lifted out by your head

00:34:15.920 or something

00:34:16.280 and it was another

00:34:17.600 emotional release

00:34:18.500 where it's like

00:34:19.100 C-section

00:34:20.040 and they were like

00:34:20.720 crack your neck

00:34:21.340 and you're saved 0.80

00:34:22.300 I mean

00:34:25.760 you know

00:34:26.260 it's like

00:34:26.880 I want to be inspired

00:34:28.380 by

00:34:29.400 the healing practices

00:34:30.880 you know

00:34:31.780 it's like

00:34:32.440 sell me yeah yeah i'm right here there is something about that guy stop chasing pain

00:34:39.120 you get fed him no it's like his account is called stop chasing pain uh-huh i i don't know

00:34:46.060 i saw him do something maybe he was the c-section guy i do like watching people

00:34:50.900 get transformed yeah i'm crying yeah totally

00:34:53.940 visit berlantnovac.supercast.com to sign up for a premium subscription you can pay out of pocket

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00:36:48.580 wherever you go, we're there.

00:36:54.300 Are you falling asleep to reading?

00:36:55.900 Oh no, you're watching TV.

00:36:58.120 I, uh...

00:36:59.040 I gotta start reading though.

00:37:01.160 I'm opening books.

00:37:03.160 I'm opening them to the center.

00:37:04.360 Read a little.

00:37:05.760 Keep it moving. 0.98

00:37:06.920 Well, Zadie Smith did an unbelievable interview

00:37:09.180 with I don't even know what maybe it was Ezra Klein or something like maybe it's from a million

00:37:12.820 years ago I don't even know you know she doesn't have a phone she doesn't have a cell phone and

00:37:16.840 she's like yeah kids can't do it and she's very sympathetic she's like I get it like if I had one

00:37:21.340 I would just constantly be looking at it she was like so I like always have a book no the abstainer

00:37:26.400 is the one who gets it the most I mean it's like yeah no no exactly and I'm like that is the way 0.99

00:37:30.960 to live and she was like she was like I don't her and her husband I believe like they fucking

00:37:36.620 don't have smartphones and she's like I will say like a couple times a year there's like a travel 0.88

00:37:41.580 meltdown like there's some ticket that you need the QR code you know she she was like there is

00:37:45.440 something a couple times a year that's like oh my god like I need the phone but or she's just like

00:37:50.780 it's not I just don't do it can you imagine and Jacqueline and I was having fantasies I was having

00:37:57.800 fantasies yeah I was like what if I went a year right it seems impossible like it seems actually

00:38:03.020 impossible not without a phone i can't go that hard it takes a little setup okay but i started

00:38:07.740 composing because i'm going to put a thing on my text messages to alleviate my own concern that i

00:38:14.720 haven't alerted people that i'm only looking at my phone twice a day blah blah blah this fear of

00:38:19.960 like their confusion weighing on me so i'm trying to set up an auto reply can you do that you know

00:38:27.160 it's not as direct as you think so that you send a text and it goes hi fyi like i'm yeah yeah i'm

00:38:34.640 with my rooster yeah it's so it's not as easy as as it should be but there are there are ways like

00:38:40.520 it's like something like you use the driving mode you make it manual with a custom message

00:38:45.100 but you manually turn it on etc but composing that message is interesting okay i was trying it

00:38:51.500 and i was like sort of imagining what you would think and feel when you got it you know you know

00:38:57.040 like different people you know and it's like i don't have to worry about me getting it what

00:39:01.660 because you don't have to worry about me getting it what do you mean like i wouldn't have a reaction

00:39:05.940 no right i just mean like i just mean like in my mind i'm kind of playing it out like people

00:39:10.540 text me this goes back do i stand by it you know and it's like what are you right you know it's like

00:39:15.060 the need to explain oneself and defend right like so so i found myself like starting to be like i

00:39:20.420 am near a mental breakdown you say my life has become unmanageable yeah i started to write like

00:39:27.300 due to extreme blah blah blah like you know i was like i was like this has become the option

00:39:33.920 you know in case of emergencies text chris right and then i started writing like i will check my

00:39:41.720 email you know twice a day okay you know i will check and and i will check my email twice a day

00:39:47.580 I will check the text messages, you know, you know, whatever, like that, that, then I'm going,

00:39:52.640 do I, do I, why do I need, why does everyone deserve a daily like promise of showing up to

00:39:59.680 a desk for them? Like truth is, I don't think you have to say anything other than no period. I mean,

00:40:06.240 I think people like my partner's always like you respond to every, like, they're just like,

00:40:12.140 don't respond right like wow i'm like dutifully responding to like anything like scammers yeah

00:40:20.600 i'm like like anything well it is it is yeah it's this uh i look so much like george washington

00:40:26.340 sorry i'm holding a coin in my hand let me see him wait let me see him the profile that's how i feel

00:40:32.620 no way i'm really sitting with it hold on well okay that's good impression it's just so it's

00:40:40.940 just not kate okay good thank for the love of christ in god we trust is it by the way i picked

00:40:48.360 this up as i go it's a shiny quarter from 2022 it's kind of unbelievable they're still printing

00:40:54.580 these things i know you ever go to the mint it was like a school trip type of thing

00:41:02.240 i'm just taking a look seeing what the neighbors are up to all right but i'm just thinking i'm

00:41:07.760 thinking to to relieve my own anxiety of them worrying just and out of reply like um like

00:41:13.720 i profoundly like i i'm off you know and then you can just say i'm away from my desk

00:41:19.540 like back when i can or whatever yeah you know what profoundly yeah due to profound

00:41:27.440 yeah due to profound mental illness or go away yeah exactly exactly exactly i think um you know

00:41:35.680 what i think you and i have never done because you know i was listening again i've been listening

00:41:40.420 to these podcasts the last week that are like like humiliating podcasts humiliating to you that

00:41:47.240 you listen interesting like you're not going to tell us which ones like i've been going hard

00:41:52.920 listening to like mel robbins i forget is mel robbins like a self-help person for sure yeah i

00:41:58.960 thought so and she's like something about the way she talks i'm like it feels like someone's mother

00:42:04.560 that I went to high school with it's like familiar but she was she was talking to some like

00:42:09.180 neuroscientists whatever and uh they're talking about manifestation and it's like I can't like

00:42:14.880 have you I think the answer is no you've never made a vision board right literally have oh you

00:42:19.320 have did you glue it down um because they're saying if you don't glue it down doesn't work

00:42:23.520 that's so funny uh first of all whatever the magic you create yourself works well that's for sure

00:42:30.060 but here's what I'm talking about the vision board thing because I'm like is it really still

00:42:33.300 magazines and i'm going yeah it's still magazines yeah my biggest issue with um with vision board

00:42:40.100 culture is the grab a stack of your favorite magazines okay like a beautiful woman on vacation

00:42:46.880 on a beach yeah yeah yeah it's like this i mean i i i've made i would say like truly made two like

00:42:56.340 i made one hardcore depression sort of coming out like just in this period of convalescence

00:43:03.800 that my parents asked and where i was like meditating yoga like i was like whatever and

00:43:08.600 i made this mandala like that was the base and then i i really did it and then like several years

00:43:16.640 ago i was like i'm gonna explore this i'm gonna do an intuitive ass one okay where i'm not where

00:43:21.260 there's nothing like there's not like comedy special okay yeah yeah it's like just like stuff 0.50

00:43:26.360 that's like like a picture of like it's like feelings beetlejuice like from the 80s like was 0.77

00:43:31.920 on it like just sort of like because it makes me laugh when he's like at the whorehouse like i don't

00:43:37.780 know like i was just like i want that yeah and there were like other images like it was like

00:43:43.880 yeah an intuitive vision board i really want to see it so badly it really depends how you do it

00:43:48.980 and what you bring to it i can't fathom like i know it sounds like i'm not trying to be like oh

00:43:54.020 but i i don't know if i can submit to the language of the vision board like i just

00:43:57.680 no no this is what i'm saying so so that's why i also bristle at you know if you've done a vision

00:44:04.140 board sure have you know i looked online they told me what to do you know what i mean it's like

00:44:08.240 no okay but for lack of a better word you know yeah sit there and yeah i i the magazine thing

00:44:18.960 to me it evokes um group situations where they've got got stacks and stacks of magazines for everyone

00:44:28.280 to sit together with the scissors and gab and put together their thing and then you're limited by

00:44:32.800 literally literally advertisements like that's what you're cutting out yeah yeah it's like an

00:44:37.660 Aperol spritz on the ocean like well I sure I want that but so what I would sometimes do was more like

00:44:43.960 like i did a thing once where i made a graphic like i i i placed myself on this like huge stage

00:44:51.280 you know like with red curtains like i'm filming my special like kind of thing i did it what

00:44:57.060 happened i did end up filming a sketch like it's like yeah i mean and there's when there's

00:45:05.400 some discomfort when you're doing it you're like this is embarrassing kind of i don't know it's

00:45:10.840 not gonna hurt that's for sure it's like you're like you're so embarrassed of your dream that you

00:45:16.220 can't even bear to write it down yeah totally i don't know everything's real it's all real

00:45:22.620 everything's everything's real you know what i did today resisted compulsive um i don't know if

00:45:28.720 it's compulsive but you know i love to shop i love clothes i love to shop i have to go shopping with

00:45:32.000 my partner it's really fun i almost bought this skirt today and then i thought do the thing that

00:45:39.180 they always say think about it think about it go home go home think about it want it

00:45:44.980 i forgot about it so it feels like i saved 200 it feels like i saved 250 dollars because i didn't

00:45:50.780 buy it oh yeah you go home you go you just go i had sort of i got the thrill yeah and then you

00:46:01.520 then you get there's a second thrill of then you say if you don't buy it if you buy it you have

00:46:05.360 the thrill of that if you don't buy it for the thrill of the saved cash right and which one's

00:46:10.800 better it reminds me of something like that like there was something well i've been having that

00:46:16.700 with delivery because we've been eating instant pot meals by the way i almost bought it again

00:46:23.340 yeah talk to you about dinner hag shop give me an instant my model is in the hag shop give me

00:46:28.640 an instant dinner they've asked they want to know exactly which one and that's it

00:46:32.540 well it's really it's right now it is not about complicated okay it's about getting a grain in

00:46:41.280 there getting some beans in there getting all manner of vegetables and then choosing your

00:46:47.660 spices and that's really it i tried freezing that date realized i don't have a micro planer so

00:46:54.920 i can't really test it yet i forgot about that i need to do that now the problem is not a lot of

00:47:01.480 water content in the date i'm noticing which is why like i had it in there and i was like

00:47:06.940 it didn't really freeze it's in the way i imagined it would see what i'm saying but it's still it's

00:47:13.460 still i can imagine that still in the mix it's still something i'm thinking a lot about for

00:47:18.060 those who missed it jacqueline was talking about freezing a date and then micro planning it on top

00:47:22.560 of things for a sweet kick we should go all right love you love you

00:47:28.840 visit berlantnovac.supercast.com to sign up for a premium subscription you can pay out of pocket

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00:47:53.440 none of this

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00:47:56.740 extras behind the scenes

00:47:59.180 access to extras that we haven't

00:48:01.640 even planned yet

00:48:02.700 you know what you're also

00:48:05.620 going to get on premium that you're not going to get on the free

00:48:07.700 feed specific product

00:48:09.780 recommendations and obsessions of ours

00:48:11.700 we're going to strategically

00:48:13.340 and I'm sorry but conceal

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00:49:27.700 wherever you go, we're there.

Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - February 18, 2025

Cheap, Fast, and Good

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