Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - Act Outs

00:00:00.000 Hello, everyone. Free feeders, premium subscribers, all hags, listeners, eavesdroppers. Here's

00:00:09.820 an all new episode for you to cap off the celebration of Berlant Novak. And make sure

00:00:14.260 you're signed up at poogpodcast.com. Make sure you're signed up for the newsletter at

00:00:19.640 poogpodcast.com immediately. Greetings. Hello. Hello. Hello.

00:00:28.620 Celsius is a strong pull like I because I just we're getting started right and I go I go because

00:00:34.980 I don't have caffeine and I go I think there might be one in a bag what caffeine have you had today

00:00:40.580 I had one quad earlier and then after that I had a cortado and I don't think that was a quad

00:00:49.580 okay but where's the you know where's the fruity I got I've been calling in a matcha a new matcha

00:00:58.220 to be serious. And the other day I was out. You mean calling it in spiritually? Yeah. I've been

00:01:03.560 doing, I've been like, which matcha do I want to get? And then doing some research is a strong

00:01:07.760 fucking word, but looking around, I went to Erewhon twice, two different locations, looking 0.98

00:01:11.620 for this one matcha, this Mitsuba, which I'd had before. It's not there. And then, so I'm like, 0.98

00:01:15.980 God damn it. Two days ago, out Sunday, walking around, I'm in a Japanese home goods store 0.99

00:01:22.540 and there's some matcha there. And I remarked to my partner, oh, maybe this is the matcha I should

00:01:27.220 get maybe like my hunt for matcha is done this woman overhears me she goes sorry i couldn't help 0.78

00:01:32.100 but overhear you i have a matcha company no and i was like you're kidding me and she's like

00:01:36.560 yeah and she goes i'm gonna give you some matcha and i was like was she also a customer she was

00:01:43.240 yeah browsing the store and she was going in there to i guess see if they wanted to sell her matcha 0.99

00:01:47.040 she goes to her car she comes back shout out to ashu matcha this is primo shit honey are you 0.98

00:01:53.160 serious she goes like we're based out of malibu i go i'm listening oh my god and this is she gives 0.98

00:01:59.080 me this tin of matcha used it yesterday i mean this is expensive stuff too god bless her she

00:02:04.400 gave me the fanciest kind which is like you know we're looking at it's like 100 bucks for a little

00:02:08.400 tin okay and i made it up it was so smooth i loved it and i just couldn't believe it you had a podcast

00:02:14.680 full of rabid listeners no after the fact talk about talk about calling something in imagine her

00:02:19.400 that morning like i am going i'm drinking i have my matcha manifestation morning okay she's like

00:02:24.240 i'm gonna call in like like what i need to promote my business and here she is top of the episode

00:02:30.860 getting getting uh getting an ad no no it was and because she was like i'm gonna go to my car i was

00:02:35.920 like this is unbelievable and she was like i just love giving matcha to people sometimes and i go i

00:02:40.480 go honey you picked the right girl i was like i have a podcast or something oh good um but anyway

00:02:45.980 it was it was fabulous did you tell her what the podcast was called and to listen for no but i

00:02:50.280 already certainly i'll be dming her again about this okay okay so you're in touch well yeah well

00:02:55.420 that's exciting why can't i get hooked on matcha well it's never going to be for you i don't think

00:03:00.960 because you're you're you're your coffee like oh it could happen i don't know you don't like the

00:03:07.220 taste right i like it oh really i think it's about i think it's i think it's like um you know i think

00:03:13.240 it's fundamentally I don't have an association I don't have like a sense memory of the matcha days

00:03:21.200 that I'm always trying to get back to or something right it hasn't ever locked to anything so like

00:03:26.180 one thing that has locked okay in kind of a cheese ball way now I don't do it all the time

00:03:31.640 but it would pull me in quicker if you were pushing this it's like it's like a chai latte

00:03:35.620 like when I visited my friend at University of Chicago in college and like she would get this

00:03:41.800 like chai latte at the college's bookstore and i went with her and i got it and it was like

00:03:46.320 so cold and and then i i drank it and it was so creamy and delicious and spicy okay

00:03:51.620 and so if i really want to access that feeling no low caffeine no because i think the tea in it is

00:04:00.540 i think black yeah yeah but oh anyway but but no shout out to spice walla they have a nice

00:04:07.620 black like chai tea yes they do except i think does theirs come where you have to make the

00:04:13.660 yeah like you have to do a full pot the way it comes or am i thinking it's a loose bag yeah no

00:04:18.300 but there's one that comes like no no that's that's spice wallah okay i think i have that

00:04:23.060 but i've done it a couple times and it's it's nice and it's like it gives you that little black tea

00:04:27.420 a little bit of caffeine but nothing crazy and as we know i mean i've i've really cut back on

00:04:32.340 the caffeine guys remember when i did for one second yeah i did there was like a couple weeks

00:04:37.200 where i did because the natural anxiety was so high i was like yeah i was like getting l-theanine

00:04:43.340 drinks at whole foods i was like strolling the aisles like all the um those drinks i'm never

00:04:49.020 like looking for a drink like a calm a calming drink well did i tell you i feel like i've said

00:04:54.320 this on the podcast that the array calm supplement like i think it's real really what is it magnesium

00:05:00.300 and l-theanine l-theanine yeah maybe there's ashwagandha there's saffron in there there's

00:05:06.140 some stuff in there but a couple times i've taken it almost like you would like a valium where i'm 0.80

00:05:09.960 like oh christ where's my fucking array and i've taken it and then i'm like is a placebo who cares 0.84

00:05:15.040 well yeah exactly remember um the birdcage where my purin tablets okay he's like oh yeah my purin 0.97

00:05:21.120 tablets aspirin and my husband rubbed out the a in the s so genius yes yes yes that's a that's

00:05:26.860 amazing so let's linger actually in this this drink question for a minute before i'm gonna

00:05:31.180 get a note about something i want to tell you about later but i'm like so i'm like yeah like

00:05:34.340 I have that right and if I want to feel that feeling I can go drink that I'm like the matcha

00:05:40.340 you know what I it's almost lock in peppermint for Christmas our spirit of having to lock in

00:05:45.200 peppermint which by the way I almost the other day for comfort on the road I started trying to

00:05:49.360 source Christmas okay I was like if I could get these King Leo peppermint sticks that came in

00:05:55.080 this tin I have this memory of it being I don't know if it's Christmas vacation or just Christmas

00:05:58.600 was approaching and being in the den and someone must have given us these peppermint sticks and i

00:06:05.000 was in dc oh can we tell you about that okay but i was in dc and i was like oh my god the king leo

00:06:12.480 sticks and it was like one christmas someone must have sent them or gifted them something ends up

00:06:16.520 in your home i think i know what you're talking about okay a blue chocolate covered no i mean

00:06:21.500 unless they have those but they're it was a blue tin king leo peppermint they have the soft ones

00:06:27.540 which is like the pillowy ones which that's something else i discovered while researching

00:06:31.100 research is a overstatement but it was just these peppermint six so you know like a thick

00:06:37.900 candy cane okay okay something about their texture and it's gnawing on them you know

00:06:41.760 and obviously it's sugar okay it's peppermint who cares okay it rules and so i was having

00:06:47.240 this fantasy that i was going to somehow source them and eat them in the hotel stimulated by

00:06:52.280 two peppermint candies in an uber yep i went for it oh okay careful i know yeah i know but i grabbed

00:07:01.420 them at the end on the way out so i roofied myself okay yeah anyway i wanted christmas back to matcha

00:07:07.220 the thing is i like it every time i have it i don't know when to choose it because it's when

00:07:14.600 i'm looking for the familiar if coffee is the moment when i would pivot to it and yet so it

00:07:18.360 always feels like i'm giving something up in that moment if i i think i need something like a 4 p.m

00:07:22.980 matcha habit okay yeah where i read 4 p.m matcha is late in the day let me tell you that it is that

00:07:28.400 well yeah i think maybe not for there was one day i overdosed on matcha i went to two different

00:07:33.540 places for matcha i've talked about this in the pod i think and my lip was like seizing like the

00:07:38.000 muscle was spontaneous and i looked it up and it was like caffeine overdose or whatever and i was

00:07:41.400 like yeah it's absolutely what it is but now the bambino continues to serve but matcha we can try

00:07:48.160 we can try to get you in but two things rapid fire just the barista still so cruel I've been 0.94

00:07:53.380 avoiding the coffee shop oh yeah oh yeah it's really fucked up I'm acting and I had a friend 0.52

00:07:57.740 with me this time I just want to say I had a friend with me and I didn't even tell him going 0.71

00:08:01.520 into it we go in she's there and I'm like do me a favor no no I didn't even say anything we go up

00:08:05.840 and order and afterwards I go didn't you find her and he was like she was like he was like yeah that 0.98

00:08:12.100 was weird and I go yeah she fucking hates my ass I'm now convinced she thinks I'm someone I'm not 0.98

00:08:17.520 it was so and then i went back because i was going to get something to go did she ask your 0.99

00:08:21.540 name for the order no no no no so she i mean because that would be an opportunity to she 1.00

00:08:26.780 doesn't speak to me she looks at me like yeah what the fuck do you want bitch she always does 1.00

00:08:30.280 that to me she doesn't even say like hi or like what can i get you it's just like yeah 1.00

00:08:33.080 without non-verbal and you watch her to other people obviously be friendly she is fucking 0.97

00:08:37.600 yucking it up laughing being so friendly i walk up face fucking falls to the floor it really is 0.97

00:08:44.140 hard and then I even said when I go back I go me again I was like I can't stay away trying to make 0.98

00:08:48.840 nothing just dead stare I order and you still have not you've never there was even a moment

00:08:55.900 this is actually funny right I mean no no I don't of course not no no no I'm not saying did you what

00:09:00.800 did you do to make her dislike you I'm saying you haven't yet done anything to like I don't even

00:09:06.480 know what bro anything yeah no nothing nothing because I don't know what to do and even your

00:09:12.000 favorite customer i know i that's actually good maybe i'll do that maybe i'll do that that's a

00:09:16.720 good i'm gonna do that and this moment even happened i went to tip right and i hit two and

00:09:22.500 then i go she flips back the ipad have you been wildly over tipping no no and i go oh my god i

00:09:28.200 was like i just want to make sure because i accidentally it said two cents instead of two

00:09:31.120 dollars and i was like oh i just want to make sure i was like imagine i tip two cents stone face 0.97

00:09:35.980 fucking nothing it's like it's hell and by the way it really ruins my fucking day like i'm too 0.97

00:09:41.260 sensitive i'm thinking about this like all hours i'm thinking about it in the night what is my 0.99

00:09:44.900 problem what is going on and so i yeah maybe i'll go your favorite customer and then it happened the

00:09:49.120 next day i go i'm not going there because she could be there and i i don't want it it's too 1.00

00:09:53.120 much i didn't do anything to you bitch what is the problem i really think she thinks i'm someone 0.99

00:09:58.040 that i'm not so how do we god i but i almost want to go do you think i i almost want to be like hi 0.97

00:10:03.640 this is so weird i i there's nothing i can't confront her i know i think i might have suggested

00:10:08.780 this once before but have you tried like have we met somewhere other than this coffee shop

00:10:13.320 oh right no i've wait what's scary about that because that that is just like a legitimate

00:10:19.180 question and then she got then she'll go i don't know and i go okay because it seems like you say

00:10:23.820 i don't know you think she's i think she'd probably go yeah i mean because what else would

00:10:28.400 she say maybe she'll go yeah we've met and i'd go no we haven't i think i'm someone else she'd say

00:10:33.240 i don't think so yeah where and then she'll go carla's house and i go see i'm not her she's

00:10:40.140 gonna say something she's gonna like that would be amazing as if she said something like that and

00:10:43.960 i go it's not me i can't believe now i know it's i'm intrigued because

00:10:50.820 i'm surprised that you know on a particularly frustrated day or whatever day right you

00:10:59.580 right i haven't lashed out something hasn't broken through no once well jacqueline jacqueline once

00:11:04.860 she was so mean it's hard once she was so and i go fine i'll match her so because i'm always going

00:11:12.740 like yeah again not but just like i'm friendly or whatever you smile you say thank you you say 0.81

00:11:18.500 have a good one all this shit so one day i couldn't take it anymore so i just i just mirrored 0.59

00:11:23.500 her okay she's like yeah yeah i flip it back yeah i just like gave her what she gave me 0.91

00:11:28.600 scientology style matched her is that scientology is that a therapeutic technique or something they

00:11:34.600 early scientology i think was like communicate it's just like meet people like matching people

00:11:39.740 mirroring them to communicate them you need to like come yeah yeah yeah you ever try that

00:11:44.020 class or something no but anyway that's all to say that it continues to haunt me and i don't know

00:11:51.620 what to do, but, and I don't think I'm good. My heart is pounding when I go up to the cashier

00:11:55.140 and she's there. It's like, my heart is pounding. It's like, I can't, my nervous system can't take

00:11:57.960 it. I'm too sensitive. What about, no, of course. And, um, it's, I mean, talk about. I think one

00:12:03.200 day I might start crying. Absolutely. I'm surprised you haven't yet. And go like, I'm sorry. Like,

00:12:07.320 what do I say? Like there's, but Jacqueline, there's nothing I can say. There's a line of

00:12:10.920 people behind me. It's not a big car. I go, of course, this is where we fundamentally like,

00:12:15.500 right. My belief, right. Is like, there's always words. We just haven't found them yet.

00:12:21.620 like language, infinitely malleable, right?

00:12:24.620 There's a thousand things you could say.

00:12:25.860 So what can I say?

00:12:26.740 Hi, this is so strange, but I just want to make sure there's nothing you can say

00:12:34.320 because also it sounds like competitive.

00:12:36.720 Like, what am I going to do?

00:12:37.440 Like, we good?

00:12:38.840 You know what I mean?

00:12:39.400 Like, what am I going to say?

00:12:41.160 Hey.

00:12:43.400 I'm trying to think about similar situations.

00:12:47.400 You know, it's just wild.

00:12:49.400 Me going, hi, it's your favorite customer.

00:12:50.980 that's almost gonna make her hate me overdrive right because if she she already hates me

00:12:55.280 but maybe that is the way i mean sort of calling it out no you know what makes you want to do

00:12:59.200 yeah get up there and faint pretend to faint to see like it's like almost like i need to go hard

00:13:04.820 yeah or like i need to go to go can i have a and i pass out and then see and then it's almost like

00:13:10.580 i need to be in her arms and i need her see but isn't that interesting kate dare i say okay this

00:13:16.060 is this is you you reach for you reach for victimizing for closeness yeah totally you're

00:13:24.860 like you're like you're like you know I'm a performer so I just performed can you open the

00:13:29.460 restaurant for us or whatever like you're like I had a tough you're always like should we tell

00:13:34.720 you're like should we tell him I had a tough day okay you always like reach really fast you're

00:13:39.600 like should I tell him about the pain in my hip you're like I'm gonna tell him about the pain in

00:13:43.120 I'm always like no no I think it's like because I always think that that's gonna someone's gonna

00:13:47.680 experience that as um like someone trying to turn a screw which which to me would make me back off

00:13:54.420 more yeah right so what what should I do what should I do let me think let me think Kate okay

00:13:58.960 okay let me think for you I texted Jacqueline live from the line because I was so sad and

00:14:05.500 you have to you have to come well the sadness is it's it's sad for it for a little caper land

00:14:10.260 because you like community.

00:14:13.520 The people's cloud.

00:14:14.120 And you like connecting at the coffee shop.

00:14:16.660 And we all remember our song.

00:14:19.740 Heya, or What's Going On.

00:14:21.360 Yeah, and that was all about feeling alive

00:14:23.880 and connecting with the baristas, okay?

00:14:26.320 Now here's a question.

00:14:27.300 Have you, okay, is she always on the register?

00:14:32.760 Yeah.

00:14:33.160 Never behind the machine?

00:14:35.080 Never.

00:14:35.440 And then are there other people who are in the register

00:14:37.180 and they're normal, whatever, sometimes?

00:14:39.380 like generally at the shop yeah yeah everyone's lovely and do you see i'm getting i'm good i'm

00:14:43.860 exchanging curl routines we're having fun does anyone know your name like okay there was someone

00:14:50.440 that knew my name he moved on um i haven't done a full name exchange but like talk chatty talkative

00:14:56.600 like totally i wonder if you could get video i mean not not for the listener i'm sorry i want

00:15:02.120 to be very clear i'm gonna go with meta glasses you know i care about i'm talking about specifically

00:15:07.460 for me to help and I'm gonna go hey do you mind that I'm recording you right now and she'll be

00:15:11.960 like is this and I hate you we just try a few let's be so cool if I went we experimented with

00:15:19.180 um me doing spontaneous role play to see what emerged not saying that any of them are good

00:15:24.160 suggestions but like no no the role playing was good all over her soul it was good so I'm like

00:15:29.080 what are some some options like um what can I say I mean I'm almost like I need to do something

00:15:34.120 what's the grand I need to do something to make her like me like what do I say like

00:15:38.160 oh my god you're gonna do bake cookies hi I just baked these cookies do you want one I think I'm 0.67

00:15:42.400 gonna fucking bake cookies take them in there do you want a cookie I just baked them I could be 0.86

00:15:47.720 wrong but I feel like if you're working in a coffee shop like a baked good it's sort of just 0.99

00:15:52.140 like you already are like no I know but it's the gesture are you talking about killing with

00:15:58.240 kindness is that what I'm yes are you trying to go let's watch you react to this yeah hi this is

00:16:03.960 so weird what about this Kate what about like I was like I was like hi um I don't know don't you

00:16:10.280 at some point I'm surprised like because you know you're somewhat brazen right I mean you know we

00:16:18.880 all contain many sides oh I can get pissed off no if someone actually fucks with me like she's not 0.98

00:16:24.700 actually fucking no no right like it's weird no no but somebody I'm trying to think of an excuse 0.96

00:16:29.740 like an example rather like i will be like oh like you obviously like when that you know uber 0.99

00:16:34.680 driver like started driving off and like i was like half out of the car i lost my shit okay yeah 0.99

00:16:39.180 and like you started saying like bitch made i told him it was bitch made 1.00

00:16:42.760 i brought up his mother oh yeah i would go how the fuck did your mother raise you 1.00

00:16:50.340 start moving the car with a with a woman halfway in halfway out 0.99

00:16:54.020 um I just drew with a pen I drew a little heart on my inner ankle like um like a teenager

00:17:01.740 um I draw hearts too so let me just think about this like it's like hey um I almost didn't come

00:17:07.620 to the cafe yesterday because um it's like so clear that you like literally hate me and um I

00:17:13.700 just say like I see uh I recognize I can't really do anything about it um but just like that's what

00:17:19.860 i'm getting from you i watch you with the other customers um so you know peace be with you i am

00:17:24.680 going to continue to come to the cafe radical honesty yeah uh like kind of sucks for me um

00:17:30.980 but i thought i would just say i see it so i'll stop dancing fawning and whatever for you um you

00:17:37.500 know respectfully i really like this cafe i'm going to continue to come here i'm going to 1.00

00:17:41.760 Continue to smile at your fucking ass. 1.00

00:17:44.580 Yeah. 1.00

00:17:45.840 I don't know.

00:17:46.540 I can't give her a note.

00:17:47.240 I'm getting more into it.

00:17:48.080 That's too weird.

00:17:49.600 No, I think it is just, I don't think I'd be able to resist.

00:17:52.680 I'd be like, oh, I'd be like, I don't think I'd be able to resist going like, I mean,

00:17:57.360 I'd probably start with days of sort of jokes, like kind of like, we okay?

00:18:01.380 You know what I mean?

00:18:02.000 Me again.

00:18:02.600 Everything okay?

00:18:03.680 Like, hi.

00:18:04.820 Well, I'm too scared to even say like, how are you?

00:18:07.000 I think I've been like, hi.

00:18:08.900 Like, no, I've done like, how are you? 0.99

00:18:10.640 Cause maybe someone like anyone with a fucking pulse would go fine. 0.95

00:18:14.060 How are you doing? 0.99

00:18:14.480 Thanks for asking.

00:18:15.140 What did she do?

00:18:15.700 Nothing. 1.00

00:18:16.280 She's always stonewalled. 1.00

00:18:17.260 She doesn't give me shit. 0.99

00:18:18.200 And you know, when I was with my friend, I even said, I planned, I go ask her how late 0.99

00:18:21.900 the cafe's open.

00:18:23.120 I was like, I want to delay.

00:18:24.460 I want to extend the thing.

00:18:26.820 So I said, okay, remember, you're going to ask her how late you guys open.

00:18:30.740 Cause I thought, oh, maybe there'll be a little moment in there.

00:18:33.680 Like, and then I, you know, do you know what I mean?

00:18:35.740 Like, I don't know, just anything just to see more of like, I love that.

00:18:39.940 No, hey, I just want to say that...

00:18:42.340 Your radical honesty.

00:18:43.540 Because here's the thing.

00:18:44.400 I almost want to say, can I ask you something?

00:18:45.880 And she'll go, what?

00:18:47.140 And I'll go, this is so funny, but I have this theory that you think I'm someone that I'm not.

00:18:53.280 That's so crazy.

00:18:54.020 Yeah.

00:18:54.960 That's kind of interesting.

00:18:55.760 And she'll go, what?

00:18:55.880 Yeah, what's wrong with that?

00:18:56.760 And I'll go, let's role play.

00:18:58.020 Let's role play.

00:18:58.760 Yeah, okay.

00:18:59.560 I have a couple.

00:19:00.140 Well, first of all, and then I'll note you after.

00:19:02.500 I'll give tweaks, okay?

00:19:03.280 Because I have ideas.

00:19:04.180 All right.

00:19:04.220 Come on. 1.00

00:19:04.580 I remember, don't say anything because she doesn't fucking say shit. 1.00

00:19:06.620 She nods her head at me like, yeah, what do you want, cunt? 1.00

00:19:10.020 That's literally what she does, by the way. 1.00

00:19:11.480 Okay, okay, okay. 0.87

00:19:12.520 Do it, do it.

00:19:13.980 Hi, can I have an almond milk cortado, please?

00:19:19.760 Great.

00:19:22.180 Sorry, this is so funny.

00:19:24.660 This feels crazy to say, but I have this theory.

00:19:27.780 I come in here a lot, right?

00:19:28.820 I have this theory that you think I'm someone that I'm not.

00:19:32.000 Is that possible?

00:19:33.580 Do you?

00:19:34.180 Sorry, what?

00:19:34.540 do we know each other outside of the are you talking to me i'm sorry what yeah sorry sorry

00:19:39.960 i know this is this is totally crazy i'm just wondering i have this feeling that sometimes i

00:19:44.780 think that you think i'm someone else that maybe you're reacting to me i don't what are you i don't

00:19:50.160 know i don't know who you are i don't we don't know each other sorry there's someone else coming

00:19:56.200 in line by the way it's really good that's really good it's too scary i'm like i know it's terrifying

00:20:00.380 it's terrifying it was terrifying right role play is really powerful yeah role play is really

00:20:04.600 fucking powerful because it was wild to be hurt because it's also really uncomfortable

00:20:08.520 for me because it's not how i approach the world okay this is i'm trying but can can yes can 0.98

00:20:16.900 someone break in with the naomi has an idea yeah i think you need to say clearly my presence in 0.98

00:20:24.560 this coffee shop is uncomfortable for the both of us what sense of the week do you work oh shit 0.98

00:20:30.160 holy shit did you hear that yes so what i heard was clearly my presence in the coffee shop is 0.98

00:20:37.060 uncomfortable for the both of us what days do you work and i'll reroute i mean here's what i'll 0.98

00:20:43.580 here's the issue right i will never do that that's way too scary well here's you go with me again and 0.99

00:20:49.900 see and then maybe i need to know she hates you too what the fuck is this what come in i have a 0.98

00:20:58.740 theory okay do you think there is any way that this is a friend of an ex oh honey we've talked 0.99

00:21:05.400 about that i've gone is this like lesbian drama something but there's just like by the way

00:21:10.760 anything's possible because that's what it seems like almost and that makes me then i do want to

00:21:15.000 go what right because if it's that what happened i stand by nothing there's no i don't my record

00:21:20.460 is clean nothing yeah yeah yeah it's like it's like i understand right like we all have we all 0.95

00:21:26.960 have friends who have exes where it's like we're not going to go to fucking tijuana with them 0.74

00:21:31.480 i don't know why tijuana came off but it's like we all have friends that were like yeah you're 0.97

00:21:35.420 not going to see me breaking bread with my fucking friend's ex right of course but there's a 0.94

00:21:39.420 difference between that and unless you have been violently cheated on right or unless there's been 0.99

00:21:44.820 some horrible gross um misconduct what the fuck are you doing so just hating someone because like 0.98

00:21:52.440 they are connected to a friend through an ex or something you know like that that's crazy so 0.99

00:21:57.920 yeah yeah it makes me want to go in more i go let's go today let's go i fucking hope she's

00:22:02.620 there today well i have ideas and and by the way i actually had it in the shower because i was like 0.91

00:22:06.760 i want to go there today and i was scared and i was like kate how fucking like what come on what

00:22:14.240 is so i mean it's really fascinating this is like a crucial approach psychic encounter i have a 0.93

00:22:19.920 approaches um i now that makes me want to fight yeah she actually has beef there's no beef 0.97

00:22:27.640 i have a couple ideas kate okay okay one you accept it as a you pretend you're fucking larry 0.87

00:22:34.200 david okay and it's funny way in okay yeah yeah it's time filmed and this is a recurring bit

00:22:39.120 larry david's actually that's a really powerful um archetype and powerful healing figure to have

00:22:44.440 with me it really is when i go through okay it's like ego you just healed me you go you go thank

00:22:49.580 you okay no he's um he does that so so it's like you go right and you don't actually have to do

00:22:57.400 what you know the character would do right yeah it's just suddenly you're seeing it from a

00:23:02.260 perspective of like the joke of how over the top people are and oh yeah like they have a feud and

00:23:08.720 you know how would how would it all play out so anyway yeah that's one of my suggestions

00:23:12.360 and that's my suggestion for if you choose to do nothing but see it as the weather that you can't

00:23:18.220 control yeah right okay that's one idea next is and this is like i'm not saying i'm right for this

00:23:26.400 okay it's just how i think about stuff okay and it comes from not necessarily like great places

00:23:32.720 like it's like my um desire for my uh like unimpeachable responses to behavior right so it's

00:23:40.640 Like any version of saying something in my mind cannot be framed as one thing, but it actually is something else.

00:23:49.540 OK, so if you go and go, I just think, you know, this is uncomfortable for us.

00:23:55.220 And so we need to I'd like to know what what days you work.

00:23:59.260 It's sort of like if that were really true and you're in your goal, I'm never going to say that.

00:24:03.500 I know. No, but I'm just just as an example.

00:24:05.400 If that were really true, if that were like true. Right.

00:24:07.840 and it was like, I'm going to find out what hours this person works

00:24:10.480 so I don't have to work there.

00:24:11.380 You'd find those hours out in another way, right?

00:24:14.120 It's a faux, like, when someone's like, hey, like, I don't, like, I just,

00:24:19.360 you know, you know what I'm saying?

00:24:20.700 It's like information seeking that's fake.

00:24:22.220 Yes, yes.

00:24:22.660 You'd figure it out another way.

00:24:24.080 So I guess here's what it is.

00:24:26.720 What do you want?

00:24:27.680 One, restoration and her to like you and realize she was wrong this whole time

00:24:31.720 and suddenly, is that what you truly want?

00:24:34.420 I guess that's what's hard. I want her to like me and I can't, yeah, and that's not.

00:24:37.320 And you think, you have a theory that maybe it is up to you because there's, you know, you're aware that there's a misunderstanding here. She thinks you're Bianca, Bianca Doolittle. Okay. She thinks you're Bianca Doolittle. Okay. And, you know, whatever, you know, it's not magical thinking or something. I mean, it's not, I just mean, it's maybe there's a way out. You're bargaining with God here. You're like, you're like, I know, right. You're like, it's denial. It can't just be what it is, which I, and I'm like,

00:25:07.320 you i i think everything has a reason right and so i would be trying to fix it so i think there's

00:25:14.580 a reasonable amount of investigation that you know i don't think it's that crazy but have we

00:25:20.420 met before i mean obviously i come in here all the time but i'm like i feel like i know you i'm

00:25:23.860 kate berlant what is your name what and then and then maybe she'll go wait what so you're

00:25:31.040 Bianca Doolittle, okay?

00:25:33.260 Who left my father in the lurch.

00:25:35.920 Exactly, exactly.

00:25:37.140 So I'm just saying, the fact that you've never said your name to her, right?

00:25:42.280 Yeah.

00:25:42.900 If you have this theory that there's a chance she thinks you're someone else, right?

00:25:47.040 I don't think it's even by name, though.

00:25:48.560 I think like maybe, you know, like someone in the neighborhood was rude or something,

00:25:52.740 and she like thinks it's me.

00:25:54.240 I mean, I don't know.

00:25:55.260 But I want to go in.

00:25:56.520 I hope I see her.

00:25:57.780 I want to go in.

00:25:59.600 It's very interesting.

00:26:00.220 i'm just gonna laugh i'm gonna laugh yeah it's gonna be um wait another i was walking down the

00:26:07.720 street funnily enough on the way to the coffee shop and i thought by the way my eyesight and i

00:26:13.400 i'm like it's getting worse like my distance glasses now i'm like needing them more and last 0.90

00:26:18.640 night i wore them like out i was like oh fuck like i guess i gotta get contacts i don't know 0.95

00:26:25.080 oh god but paperland with contacts is so like i just can really see it with you with this 0.94

00:26:31.280 with the contact solution i know it's just lost her contact you know i just see a lot of contact 0.97

00:26:37.880 based drama unfolding it's too scary another medical another medical thing for shit to go 0.95

00:26:44.320 wrong like really fucking scares me i don't know i don't know why don't you pursue i'm walking all 0.96

00:26:49.320 those exercises they're like you actually they're like why don't give it a shot give one of the 0.92

00:26:53.940 things where they go actually your eyes just need to be strengthened there's various eye muscles 0.90

00:26:57.300 do one of the fucking programs for one month but disgusted by eye muscles yeah but yeah no you're 0.95

00:27:04.700 right what but what's funny so the eyesight you do that just grosses me out eyes freak me out 0.98

00:27:10.020 but i think that i so i was walking and because of my eyesight it's really happening where i'm

00:27:15.320 not recognizing people or i see them and i'm like looking at them like they're strangers and they're

00:27:18.640 looking at me and i go huh and i go oh it's my friend or someone i know so i was walking and i

00:27:22.340 thought i saw someone walking toward me i did not want to run into not dramatic like and that's

00:27:28.140 what's funny not like someone there's no one on earth i need to like actively avoid back to the 0.98

00:27:32.560 barista i don't have beef i there aren't there's no one that i'm like oh fuck we're about to get

00:27:36.620 into it like of course we have people that we're not dying to run into but i don't have anyone that 0.89

00:27:40.820 would make me like cross the street but you know what i mean yes um actually actually i crossed the

00:27:46.760 street to avoid a good friend who i just wasn't well that's that's what you're talking about then

00:27:51.720 Yeah, like, no, no, no, but somebody's walking toward me, I think I know who it is. And there's

00:27:56.360 a bakery. I just gently and I very realistically act as a Oh, yeah, I'm going to the bakery. I go

00:28:02.200 into the bakery. And then I start to pretend to look at a cake. Of course. And I and I have I

00:28:08.680 have a full put in an order. I have a full act out about buying a pie to avoid someone it might not

00:28:15.260 have been them. And I go, that's great. I go, how? How much is that? And she goes, Oh, it's this much.

00:28:19.900 oh actually it's this much okay god it's great yeah okay um if i were going to order that like

00:28:24.760 how much lead time i go into a full i take a picture of it of course i go i'm gonna send this

00:28:29.640 to the birthday girl i go i'm gonna send this to the birthday girl i do a full and then i leave

00:28:36.340 some people really like to me that makes total sense right yeah and even like although i probably

00:28:42.680 with that level of engagement feel like psychically like i had to buy something almost

00:28:47.120 like i know no one was in there it was very empty i wasn't like crowding no no no i don't mean like

00:28:54.860 i almost just mean like like you were part of this drama with them like now you do know more

00:29:00.620 about their pies now would you maybe consider buying a pie from this person a hundred percent

00:29:04.860 so so i see like so i see it as like you know to take in information of a business has value to

00:29:10.100 that business and so i still i think there's you stand on moral grounds here is all i'm trying to

00:29:15.320 say it's a it's a transaction that that is meaningful even though it was built on a lie

00:29:21.500 you're still doing good business you're still doing good business i'll tell you this if i had 0.60

00:29:25.820 to buy a cake next week guess where i'd fucking go okay exactly um some people do no act outs i 0.77

00:29:33.300 have to believe some people it's crazy no some people that story makes sense to them right like 0.87

00:29:39.140 that's just a that's a tool that is right there at any time it's i've acted my way into yeah

00:29:45.140 it's all yeah it's almost eerie when you realize what you can act your way into i do it with like

00:29:50.300 with a meaningless transaction that's out of time i don't usually invent other like i don't invent

00:29:57.860 other specificity like characters for some reason like there's like i wouldn't have the courage

00:30:03.700 almost to go birthday girl right yeah yeah it's like it's like there's something like i think it's

00:30:08.080 all gonna fall apart if i involve like another character it's like it's like totally it's like

00:30:12.720 I believe like there's some, it has to almost be, um, like an illusion that blows past and

00:30:17.720 can go up in the dust.

00:30:18.640 It's like, yeah, don't anchor it to another.

00:30:21.740 Yeah.

00:30:22.160 Even though, why not?

00:30:23.580 It's just interesting.

00:30:25.100 The little rules we live by quick.

00:30:29.000 I purchased, Oh, here's my mailman.

00:30:31.840 Oh, that's exciting.

00:30:33.080 How do you know your mailman?

00:30:34.320 At least here's what I'll say.

00:30:35.640 At least it's not your mailman that hates you.

00:30:37.980 Oh my God.

00:30:38.360 Can you imagine?

00:30:39.280 Well, hold on.

00:30:39.760 Wait, we're glazing over one of my famous.

00:30:42.720 act outs which was the fedex guy who was delivering the heavy boxes and i felt so bad that i pretended

00:30:47.740 to be pregnant unbelievable and i pretend to be pregnant i meant i just stood with my hands you

00:30:53.400 didn't you didn't say anything you didn't no no right i just did emotion i think i put my hand i

00:30:58.600 kind of rubbed my my stomach and leaned back into my hand lower back to insinuate i wish i can help

00:31:06.160 you with those heavy boxes but but doctor's orders doctor's orders yeah i'm actually supposed to be

00:31:12.460 on bed rest they said yeah i couldn't i came to the door anyway i purchased two boxes of

00:31:20.560 gerald steiner from trader joe's this is the you know the best sparkling water money can buy 0.72

00:31:25.140 i go this is extraordinary it's kind of a bitch because going there loading the boxes you know 0.97

00:31:30.680 but i was like this is how important the girl signer is to me multiple bottles were flat i 0.98

00:31:37.260 repeat no multiple bottles and gerald steiner is the most bubbly you can leave a gerald steiner

00:31:42.920 open on the counter overnight it's just holds in the morning it's crazy oh it's the minerality of

00:31:48.180 it is so dense that it's just like is that's a geyser right yeah and so i was horrified and i go

00:31:55.640 so do i reach out to gerald steiner or do i reach out to trader joe's i called trader joe's no one

00:32:01.220 answered and i gave up but should i see that's really impressive to me you had the courage not

00:32:06.140 the courage you had the internal strength to make a phone call like because first of all was it i

00:32:10.540 love making hi welcome to trader joe's like listen for no it just rang rang rang rang rang rang okay

00:32:16.060 well yeah the on-air courage i mean i guess like the way i see it is like you're not going to get

00:32:22.660 anything on the phone from them that's meaningful i feel like the only way i don't have a refund

00:32:27.080 isn't coming from like someone on the phone at trader joe's they're going to be like well you

00:32:31.060 could bring in the bottles and you're not going to do that exactly so your only move is like

00:32:35.880 garyl steiner yeah garyl steiner and just be like this happened i'm not bringing the bottles back

00:32:40.220 i'm not bringing the bottles back to you know trader joe's they're not gonna you know it's not

00:32:44.460 cheap by the way they'll think i mean because they're open now so it's sort of like they're

00:32:47.780 open you've opened it open it yeah nothing's there so you can't bring back the flat bottle

00:32:52.640 so your only option is to say like i'm a big fan of the work you do my heart was broken my heart

00:32:58.500 was broken and uh i'm just curious is there anything you can do home yeah no no i'm gonna

00:33:04.160 do that i'm gonna send the email um because that's i have a new hack i have a new life hack okay

00:33:10.900 corkage fee wait a second when you're going to dinner explain what you mean you're now

00:33:18.700 bringing your own wine yeah no no like you're like what you thought was a scam now you're

00:33:25.620 actually no actually it rocks saves you hundreds oh listen to this no no no okay i so my mother

00:33:32.300 and my aunt come to town or you know my aunt's in town we're going to dinner the four of us

00:33:37.640 i go i call the restaurant um shout out to bocchetti call the restaurant and i go hi do

00:33:45.860 you guys have a corkage fee um and they go yeah it's 35 bucks damn maybe it was 40 i think it was

00:33:51.420 35 and i go great i go i hope it's not uncouth and they're like not uncouth at all they go we

00:33:57.160 have maximum two bottle corkage you know but um yeah i go great so i have a fancy bottle of

00:34:03.460 champagne that was a gift i bring it wait hold on take me take me back okay yeah why are there

00:34:10.640 corkage fees punishment alone i mean they gotta charge you something that makes sense to me but 0.77

00:34:15.320 why you just drink for free 35 that's the price of fucking two glasses but if you're ordering 0.96

00:34:21.040 dinner if you're ordering dinner yeah i understand you can't bring your that's crazy i think 0.94

00:34:26.760 restaurants you they have to i think it's it's that's why it's a i'm not saying it's a deal of

00:34:32.540 a century then you're having you're having we had because i i i wanted one glass like everyone gets

00:34:39.660 a glass more than a glass you know a little champagne pour and then you're not just saving

00:34:45.180 the meal is slightly cheaper because

00:34:47.980 you're not. You mean to buy a glass of champagne

00:34:50.280 would be expensive, bringing your own was not?

00:34:53.600 You're saying the $35?

00:34:55.300 I'm saying

00:34:56.500 that at a restaurant nowadays

00:34:58.180 you're looking at $18 a glass.

00:35:00.940 The hack is bring your own.

00:35:03.380 You're not getting out

00:35:04.360 of the cornish bee.

00:35:05.620 Of champagne, I'd say there's five glasses.

00:35:09.060 Yes. That's $90.

00:35:11.020 18 times

00:35:11.940 five.

00:35:13.080 so you're oh are you saying but you and to buy a full bottle of champagne 55 dollars hold on but

00:35:19.440 if everyone had a glass wouldn't you have just gotten a bottle of champagne in the restaurant

00:35:22.660 this is what i'm trying to understand with the bottle of champagne in the restaurant everyone

00:35:26.360 had a glass oh there's yeah yeah so you're why would everyone have ordered it by the glass 0.98

00:35:32.520 i'm saying oh but there's no you're not gonna get a bottle in a fucking restaurant for 35 0.95

00:35:37.400 dollars the bottle is going to be minimum 70 right and you're saying but you like good champagne 0.97

00:35:43.000 and no I don't care about the quality it's about saving money it's about being able to have champagne

00:35:48.920 at all to have a drink at all I only drink champagne and by champagne I mean bubbles I

00:35:54.040 I don't like I'm not drinking red wine I'm not drinking white wine in a restaurant I want either

00:35:59.040 maybe a martini a marg right or a glass of bubbles so I would rather have and my mom only drinks 0.98

00:36:06.480 bubbles we all like bubbles so i go great either we can each order an 18 glass of fucking but the 0.71

00:36:11.960 comparison that needs to be drawn and i'm sorry i'd be harping on this but i'm only doing it

00:36:16.280 because i just spent time on it already what does it cost to get a bottle of champagne in the

00:36:21.740 restaurant i'm not saying i know the answer i'm just minimum 70 versus 35 plus how much was your

00:36:29.220 bottle of champagne that you brought with you free it was a gift oh well here we go drink your

00:36:34.780 own free champagne in the restaurant is how you're saving money right right but even if i had bought

00:36:40.100 let's just say the bottle was what would you bought it for spending more than i don't believe

00:36:43.760 in spending more than 40 my god on the bottle because you can get really good stuff so let's

00:36:49.260 say 40 so 40 plus 35 corkage fee 40 plus 35 75 dollars right yeah oh so it's back to normal

00:36:59.360 so then what if you bought a bottle of champagne in the restaurant that was not the greatest

00:37:03.860 champagne ever would it be 75 and under that's what i'm saying i just think the comparison if

00:37:10.780 everyone if you're saying everyone loves bubbles in the family the comparison to everyone ordering

00:37:14.560 a glass is not seems like okay but it brings the bill down at the end of the meal and that's what

00:37:21.500 i like to see oh i want to be i if anyone thinks like i am like the the sour grapes i know i know

00:37:29.320 I'm truly just trying to understand, okay? 0.96

00:37:31.620 And also make sure you don't get fucked by your own confusion, okay? 0.99

00:37:35.480 I don't want you to get really fucked. 0.99

00:37:36.960 And I do get, sometimes I do the math wrong. 0.99

00:37:39.860 Yeah.

00:37:40.300 I know, and it's wrong.

00:37:40.960 You get an emotional idea, and I just, you know.

00:37:42.960 That happens a lot.

00:37:45.840 What did I have?

00:37:46.880 I'm just trying to think if I've had anything interesting.

00:37:49.680 Oh, but I was thinking, what about mace and matcha?

00:37:52.200 Okay, I was trying to think of something.

00:37:53.960 So I read Carolyn Mace while I drink matcha,

00:37:56.480 and then that becomes the association.

00:37:58.260 That can be my 4 p.m.

00:38:00.340 Spiritual.

00:38:00.960 Could be.

00:38:02.580 I'm still going to say it.

00:38:03.680 4 p.m. is a little late for matcha matcha.

00:38:05.040 Matcha is not a joke.

00:38:06.080 Yeah, but I'm having coffee at 4 anyway.

00:38:08.080 Yeah, you're already fine.

00:38:09.060 But I saw, where was I?

00:38:12.080 Oh, right.

00:38:12.480 I was in a hotel.

00:38:13.600 I have a lot of hotel reportage to do.

00:38:17.560 But they were doing a strawberry matcha.

00:38:19.760 They said it was pure strawberry worked into the matcha.

00:38:22.880 Colombe.

00:38:23.600 La Colombe does that.

00:38:25.000 Oh, maybe that's what it was.

00:38:26.080 This is a big. 1.00

00:38:26.940 so by the way i have an announcement which is bitch i know exactly where you were it was it 0.89

00:38:31.280 was at chicago it was in chicago by the viceroy i bet anything right by the viceroy there's a 0.97

00:38:36.500 la colomba in chicago and i famously went there after rome landed from rome stay at the viceroy

00:38:42.960 and trying to stay awake went to la colomba and i literally of course told them i was like i just

00:38:47.400 landed from rome it's like they don't need to hear it i was a little late in the day for

00:38:51.960 but we just landed from Rome they had the strawberry matcha on top that's not usually

00:38:57.400 what I get ever because I'm like it's too sweet I don't yes yes you know I'd rather have a cupcake

00:39:02.680 whatever totally totally I got I said can I have a sample I said would it be okay to try a sample

00:39:07.460 and then I and they were like sure and I go I buy so much La Colombo over the years

00:39:11.260 they gave me a sample of strawberry matcha explaining why you're on the sample okay I 0.61

00:39:16.020 deserve it my knees almost buckled it was so fucking good see that's not too sweet it was 0.94

00:39:20.960 sweet strawberry is un-fucking-real strawberry is unbelievable okay it's berries berries above all 0.96

00:39:28.360 and i was blown away and then it became a hyperfication yeah yeah and i went back and

00:39:34.840 got it i think twice never transferred to los angeles i never brought back the craving i feel

00:39:38.780 like the way the strawberry would intersect with the matcha would really be big for me

00:39:43.340 and so how do i make it get you my own way this is all this is what the culture is now

00:39:48.100 What about freeze-dried, I'm just thinking at home, freeze-dried strawberries to powder and stir in?

00:39:56.780 Well, I have freeze-dried strawberries in my house, and I have the top shelf matcha.

00:40:01.580 Now, the Brevo Bambino can't help you out in the matcha world, I imagine, right?

00:40:05.660 No.

00:40:06.120 There's no...

00:40:06.860 Do you have a whisk?

00:40:09.160 Of course, I've got my whisk.

00:40:10.500 I've got my strainer.

00:40:11.780 That's the thing that really changes the game.

00:40:13.520 Really?

00:40:13.680 I have the little thing that scoops one gram, so I do three grams of matcha.

00:40:18.100 for my cup and um i have my tea bowl that i literally brought back from kyoto years ago

00:40:24.640 wow so i have my whole i have my sacred set up every time i drink from i go god what if this 0.88

00:40:29.060 breaks i'm like don't break it don't break it every fucking time no wait because you feel like 0.86

00:40:35.240 you couldn't get a replacement if it actually broke into big pieces i could get it fixed 0.90

00:40:39.540 but it's just like yeah you just love the specific one yeah yeah yeah yeah um 0.85

00:40:44.240 i'm tempted to end the episode on yeah you guessed it a fucking ghost story and i'm 0.78

00:40:51.600 hesitant to even bring it up because i don't want them trailing well start by let's just before you 0.87

00:40:56.720 get into the topic okay okay great still a little energy work not yeah i do not but first just start

00:41:02.100 with some feet on the ground okay a little grounding to mother earth okay all right deep

00:41:06.620 breath in and while you shoot the breath out and expel anything that's not your own energy

00:41:12.420 lovingly yes maybe one more go out hard

00:41:19.420 and then now let's just call in the light the uh that's gonna you know kind of like beef up your

00:41:28.720 own light mix with it angel michael yeah perfect okay get that egg around you or whatever shape

00:41:35.700 you need and then tie it up tight up top and now you can talk about it you talk about it and it

00:41:41.460 has nothing to do with anyone trailing exactly okay great so and again this continues to happen

00:41:48.280 at hotels other places which again okay remember you need to do this before you get on the way

00:41:53.600 on the way no i know no i thought about this a lot jacqueline so staying at this hotel very nice

00:41:58.840 i say before you book the place okay you get on booking.com and they're gonna see your light i

00:42:03.680 think these these guys coming okay they're gonna see you can't do it in the cabin way over they

00:42:08.980 okay you're a beacon yeah yeah okay but anyway i need energy hygiene every morning this really

00:42:14.080 sucked this was a scary one so i can't believe this happened again i was in the hotel so we're

00:42:22.740 what um city california okay say no more not los angeles and um because i love this place

00:42:31.620 and i want to go back yeah and i just don't want to no don't spread it yeah so i'm what happened

00:42:36.860 was hanging out everything's great go to bed and what happened was I and again it's this thing where

00:42:45.240 it's kind of lucid I'm like kind of half awake but this was the first time this had happened where

00:42:50.600 and my partner was with me so they witnessed it happen where I woke up so what I saw yeah was

00:43:01.540 i didn't see a face how late or hard to say uh midnight ish okay between you're in bed like

00:43:07.760 you got in bed at 10 or yeah we've been like watching a movie whatever yeah um it was a

00:43:14.720 i know it was a man with short brown hair but i didn't see a face and he was hovering like almost

00:43:20.380 over me like his face almost like looking like looking down on you yeah and i and i said oh my

00:43:27.800 god oh my god oh my god and i started moving to the like towards the head the headboard like out

00:43:33.940 of bed like zipped up oh my god oh my god like scared really scared my heart was racing flew

00:43:40.240 to the back of the head crawling backward yeah crab crawling backward oh my god oh my god oh my

00:43:45.080 god it was really scary and when you went backward did the face disappear did the hovering disappear

00:43:52.840 or did you see him still there in front of you no it was no it was like it was like i reacted and

00:43:59.420 then i was out of it and then i was like but oh it sucked and again you know it really it really

00:44:06.520 scared me and i was like and then of course i'm like awake i'm like sorry and i just feel i like

00:44:12.200 don't want to get up and go and so one thing that's kind of there was like so the hotel is old

00:44:16.880 and there was a thing with like the light earlier we're like you know i don't know there's things

00:44:22.560 you could read into and go a flickering light and then yeah and like but i was just staring into

00:44:29.140 the like it just it scared me and i fell back to sleep and then i was fine but i won't be staying

00:44:36.280 in that room again and then the next day we kind of so it is an old hotel and um and then i was 0.64

00:44:43.400 actually joking with a friendly a barista who doesn't fucking hate me yes the next day i was

00:44:48.580 chatting and I was like kind of I saw a ghost last night or whatever you know and he was like

00:44:53.860 yeah there's like been stuff there and I was like are you serious so here's my question because I'm

00:44:58.020 planning to go back do I say at the front desk hi this is so crazy but please don't put me in

00:45:03.160 any room where people have complained about ghosts I think it's completely okay I'm gonna say it I'm

00:45:07.980 gonna say it reasonable because I'm like I don't want to be in a room where they go yeah some people

00:45:13.260 as we all know from Bend Oregon when I call and they go yeah that's the area people have reported

00:45:18.240 issues well it's yeah it's interesting um because i uh stayed at basically a b&b kind of place old

00:45:27.940 house um and it was it was interesting because it's sort of like you get there there's no real

00:45:35.160 check-in unless there happens to be someone there and then they leave it's kind of like it's kind of

00:45:39.480 like halfway between a hotel and a b&b like it's just not a thing though because like they leave

00:45:44.480 at 7 p.m they leave at 7 p.m i know you're like so i guess on my own and the other yeah i don't

00:45:49.760 like that i don't like that so i guess your room locks but like you're just in and the shared

00:45:54.640 space that you're just in with the other people who also have the room for that there is no central

00:45:58.460 authority by the way it happened again i'm just going to briefly chime in and say please i was

00:46:03.360 staying in a place like that with no concierge no front desk where you're you're alone with the

00:46:07.320 guests at night and i wasn't i wasn't in the room but my partner was and a man opened the door came

00:46:13.940 in sees my partner goes oh my god sorry whoa whoa whoa he accidentally went into the wrong room his

00:46:21.120 key worked for our room well he was like i'm he's like my my i'm sorry my my rooms are across the

00:46:26.320 hall they all look the doors look the same i can you imagine i mean what if you were what if your

00:46:31.400 headphones on you were jerking off wildly spread this is the same narrative as jamaica call stay

00:46:36.720 free it was jamaica okay it's someone else's key can't work on your door or they didn't give you

00:46:42.700 a hotel room that's not a hotel i know okay i know okay that's absolutely outrageous he was

00:46:50.460 mortified he felt bad we i mean i mean it's not a great experience for him either like no like

00:46:56.840 like in other words like you shouldn't have to um your key shouldn't work in someone else's room

00:47:02.000 i've definitely when i've my room has been changed or i go from one hotel to the next like george

00:47:06.260 clooney in that movie okay where am i okay and i i go up i go to the wrong room you know because

00:47:11.560 like i have the other number in my head i think all the keys just work i think every key work i

00:47:16.260 think i think they're just really letting that happen so i say this to say oh i asked on the

00:47:24.280 way in because i have yet to see a ghost and so i don't have the fear that you have i just don't

00:47:30.200 right because i've never actually had had it so i i know not what i you know wish for or whatever

00:47:36.120 right i'm like i bet this place has got some uh spirits eh like on the way in when when the woman

00:47:41.380 was there and then she was trying to feel me out i want the information so i act like i you know

00:47:48.200 i'm hoping there are yeah right because i don't want them to not give it to me because i'm sure

00:47:52.760 some people it's not haunted is it you know like kind of yeah yeah so i'm like no no i think it's

00:47:57.440 cool i love the history of the building whatever yeah and so then she sort of gives it to me like

00:48:01.240 yeah yeah well not i haven't but the person you know the other person who works here or whatever

00:48:05.280 or the person who was here from the previous owner said that, you know, just like classic

00:48:09.160 kind of like, I haven't seen any paranormal activity, but you know, classic stuff like,

00:48:12.860 you know, picture frames flying off the walls.

00:48:17.360 I was like, wow.

00:48:20.760 But my self-consciousness when I do ask that is that I don't want to be, I don't want them

00:48:27.260 thinking I'm some ghost hunter crassly, you know, because there are people sort of like

00:48:32.720 wildly going to provoke ghosts or something like that which is rude um I don't want I don't want

00:48:39.480 to provoke at all and that was as you know I've had some friendly ones that really didn't scare

00:48:45.040 me where I'm just like awake I see them I'm fine I go back to sleep I think the only the only

00:48:49.640 oh I just had to remember I'm sure I've brought this up but you know sometimes you see these

00:48:53.840 mediums talk about all this anxiety they experience or whatever and in their life and

00:48:58.800 then like when they finally accepted their gifts like all the other anxiety left okay 0.85

00:49:03.560 oh shit like almost like there's all this energy running through you that you're like pushing away 0.70

00:49:10.020 yeah okay like like this kind of thing like you know maybe you need to take control of your gifts 0.99

00:49:16.060 so to speak okay yeah you should at least really develop uh the energy hygiene which is you know

00:49:23.640 there's nothing yeah there's so much you can do instead of like just waiting for you know

00:49:29.160 there there's someone hovering over you and you scream for Archangel Michael right I know

00:49:34.060 it's in the last ditch right it's like you could probably and then I just feel like also if if you

00:49:39.260 are if you do have some of these gifts then you know might you not be vulnerable in some ways

00:49:45.540 to energy you're obviously sensitive right so doesn't suggest that you should be actively

00:49:50.860 sort of

00:49:52.540 helping your own energy field.

00:49:56.340 You're correct.

00:49:57.240 Maybe it's time for you to read Be Your Own Shaman.

00:50:00.160 Remember I read a couple

00:50:00.940 bits from that and some good practices in it.

00:50:04.260 But there's nothing

00:50:05.200 books out there about this.

00:50:07.460 I'll look into it.

00:50:08.980 Alright, talk soon. Love you.

00:50:10.780 Okay, I love you.

00:50:20.860 You

Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - April 14, 2026

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