Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - Buttering the Shoe

00:00:00.000 This is an iHeart Podcast.

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00:00:34.560 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:00:38.180 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Traynor, disappeared from a commune.

00:00:42.080 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:00:45.900 No, I am not your guru.

00:00:49.560 Back then, I lied to everybody.

00:00:51.860 They have had this case for 30 years.

00:00:54.440 I'm going back to my hometown to uncover the truth.

00:00:57.480 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:01:27.480 Listen to The Secret World of Roald Dahl on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:01:34.560 The more you listen to your kids, the closer you'll be.

00:01:38.580 So we asked kids, what do you want your parents to hear?

00:01:42.260 I feel sometimes that I'm not listened to.

00:01:44.960 I would just want you to listen to me more often and evaluate situations with me and lead me towards success.

00:01:51.680 Listening is a form of love.

00:01:53.300 Find resources to help you support your kids and their emotional well-being at SoundItOutTogether.org.

00:02:00.140 That's SoundItOutTogether.org.

00:02:02.660 Brought to you by the Ad Council and Pivotal.

00:02:05.060 Crook and Chase Nashville chats with the coolest cat in country music.

00:02:08.780 He is edgy. He's fun. He is Chase Matthews.

00:02:12.120 Keith Urban helped make him a global sensation last year, but it's his recent number one hit,

00:02:16.280 darling, that put Chase on the map and launched a fun and difficult conversation about lovers who cheat and lie.

00:02:23.020 That's why I'm scared to get married.

00:02:24.460 You're giving me trust issues, brother.

00:02:26.020 Crook and Chase Nashville Chats with Chase Matthew.

00:02:28.720 Listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

00:02:35.460 Hi, I'm Kate Berlant.

00:02:36.940 I'm Jacqueline Novak.

00:02:38.020 And this is POOG, an ongoing conversation about wellness between two obsessive friends.

00:02:42.800 Two untamable intellects.

00:02:44.540 This is our hobby. 0.97

00:02:45.380 This is our hell.

00:02:46.240 This is our naked desire for free products.

00:02:48.520 This is POOG.

00:02:49.940 Today's topic, loosely speaking, ice machine.

00:02:53.020 Skuza. Bride.

00:03:01.400 Okay, first of all, you're hysterical.

00:03:04.160 Okay, you're in a hotel.

00:03:05.080 You're soaring, clearly, from the minute we got on.

00:03:08.380 Soaring.

00:03:08.900 The listeners were hanging over a pit, hovering over a pit of a rerun.

00:03:13.980 It seemed like there was no way. 1.00

00:03:15.940 And you fucking found a way. 0.99

00:03:18.000 We had them by the ankle. 1.00

00:03:19.280 Yeah.

00:03:19.880 Yeah.

00:03:20.100 their hair was getting singed over the heat of another rerun of the rerun and kate found found

00:03:30.780 it found a hint found it i mean because it was nine hours i'm in a wedding weekend just a nine

00:03:39.600 hour time difference all odds stacked against us and here we are so i'll cut to the chase i'm in

00:03:46.220 wine country. Oh, wow. I'm in Paso Robles in California. High school. Thank you. I am half

00:03:56.820 Spanish at one of my high school best friends weddings. So the table is really set for quite

00:04:02.500 the weekend. I woke up at 730 to banging. I already have I already have an email I'm drafting

00:04:09.900 to the concierge. Where do you lie? Where do you sit with when you when you get a hotel?

00:04:16.220 And there's construction banging that wakes you up at 7.30 a.m.

00:04:20.580 Is that refund city?

00:04:22.060 Not refund, but discount.

00:04:24.580 Yeah.

00:04:24.940 OK, so I have never once been bothered by construction.

00:04:29.180 OK, and what I mean is I don't even know.

00:04:32.060 And I'm not saying it hasn't happened.

00:04:33.480 It has.

00:04:35.200 OK, I remember once a long time ago, I think I was in a scenario where some boyfriend did

00:04:40.620 have a problem with it and I didn't notice.

00:04:42.500 So, you know, I don't know.

00:04:44.860 To me, that doesn't.

00:04:45.980 It's not extreme.

00:04:47.200 I got to be honest, being honest here.

00:04:48.540 It's not extreme.

00:04:50.080 But like bang, bang, bang, bang, bang at 730.

00:04:53.280 Maintenance.

00:04:53.780 Or is it nearby?

00:04:54.740 Yes.

00:04:54.800 No, it's in the hotel is what I'm saying.

00:04:56.940 It's in the hotel.

00:04:58.580 Bang, bang, bang, bang.

00:04:59.680 Now, here's the concerns.

00:05:01.600 Are you ready?

00:05:02.160 Sometimes what they'll say is they already lowered the price of the hotel.

00:05:07.420 The room rate has been lowered because they know construction is going on.

00:05:11.340 Can you imagine?

00:05:13.480 I'm still emailing them.

00:05:14.600 Yeah, and then also, yeah.

00:05:17.100 So there's that.

00:05:17.540 And then also, sorry.

00:05:20.300 No, but I just want, well, give it to me.

00:05:22.280 Give it to me.

00:05:23.340 I love it all.

00:05:25.500 Because I go, you know what I'm going to do?

00:05:27.480 Order room service, baby.

00:05:29.440 The in-room phone isn't working.

00:05:31.840 I repeat, the in-room phone isn't working.

00:05:34.260 So I had to then go through back channels,

00:05:36.780 a.k.a. my personal cell.

00:05:38.320 I immediately doubt you.

00:05:39.520 Can you believe I immediately doubt you?

00:05:41.480 Because, by the way, I just looked at this phone.

00:05:43.320 I'm like, user error.

00:05:44.600 user error this one works this one works okay so i'll take it back so the one by the bed doesn't

00:05:49.640 the other one a um wait i have a question is the other one by chance cordless nope okay sorry i

00:05:57.220 doubted you no no listen but here's the truth i was like maybe it's one of those cordless ones

00:06:03.040 the one over on the desk does work press a button the one on the desk does work so i guess i can't

00:06:09.520 then add that to my complaint email but i will well no you well you can throw it in it's i mean

00:06:16.140 you can throw anything in but what i thought was interesting i heard you say moments before

00:06:21.520 the recording began was you said oh wait i have to run and change my do not disturb sign or they

00:06:27.440 won't deliver my food not true yes uh they'll knock wait are you serious because i've been

00:06:34.620 You know, hotels where they're like, we will not knock if there's a do not disturb for fear of, because imagine.

00:06:41.960 With your food?

00:06:43.280 Yeah.

00:06:44.060 Because imagine, imagine there's been a mix up.

00:06:46.440 They think, oh, I'm going to room 411.

00:06:48.720 They're going to room 211.

00:06:50.460 They go to the wrong, you know, human error.

00:06:53.040 And then knock, knock, knock. 0.99

00:06:54.060 You wake up a bride at 7 a.m. who was trying to sleep till 9. 0.96

00:06:57.980 Can you imagine?

00:06:59.040 Can you imagine waking the bride too early?

00:07:02.420 I'm getting married today.

00:07:03.820 God.

00:07:04.620 No, I just felt the anxiety of being at, like, a bride and, like, the horror of, like, 4 a.m.

00:07:11.020 Like, just 4 a.m. bridal morning.

00:07:14.520 I don't know.

00:07:14.960 Just really disturbing somehow.

00:07:16.820 Like, just.

00:07:17.060 What do you mean? 0.70

00:07:17.640 You mean being a bride at 4 a.m.?

00:07:19.580 Just the whole feeling, everything about it.

00:07:21.940 Yeah.

00:07:22.340 Like, yeah, I don't even know what to say.

00:07:27.260 Just, there's something about, like, hotel lighting.

00:07:31.500 Oh, yeah.

00:07:32.220 Isn't it? Isn't it? And then this sort of, whatever questions you have about your impending marriage, it's like something, you know, there's family, there's friends. It's, it's weird. It's, it's, I mean, I know nothing, of course. I've never married.

00:07:47.500 it's but truly i'm a i mean yeah i've never married either the weddings weddings are i love

00:07:55.880 weddings they're unbelievable they're the real theater they're the true contemporary theater

00:07:59.860 they're all we have they're america it's in a it's american kabuki i mean it's like right the

00:08:07.420 one our only theater they're all we have left yeah yeah the dying madam the dying madam

00:08:15.200 um is only alive you know they call theater that and it's you know what's interesting the way

00:08:22.840 wait what's that what's that i think it's something they call the theater

00:08:26.880 the theater like like it's a dying madam okay i have to look into this

00:08:34.040 urgently and like i'm wondering if i've gotten it right okay okay wait wait wait but but but yes

00:08:39.940 yes yes no no i'm just one thing the only thing i didn't say go go it's it's what i pictured was

00:08:47.260 the hum the hum of the ice machine which by the way a lot of places don't have ice machines and

00:08:52.840 i've noticed okay but yeah we've all noticed it's gone the way of the you know i don't know what

00:08:59.740 have they gone the way of yeah they've gone the way of i don't i sorry i'll say it again i don't

00:09:05.840 know what i thought i even have an example the first the first time the second time and even a

00:09:11.400 third nothing's coming no i've tried to figure this out where have they gone i guess oh i think

00:09:17.160 i know i think i know maybe they didn't used to have refrigeration they used to they didn't have

00:09:21.580 ice boxes in every room oh it became less relevant you're at you're at asbury park you're you're

00:09:28.400 bringing a warm soda back to your room you need that ice it's devastating because it was one of

00:09:34.360 the last communal rituals we had the community the watering very few the public park and the the

00:09:40.860 what the uh the ice machine at the hotel communal gathering place and one of the only quests i'd

00:09:47.040 argue left for a couple of hotel guests one of the only quests remaining you know one of the

00:09:53.300 only quests in life period the hunter-gatherer cambellian cambellian quests is the question

00:09:59.940 well i guess the quest has has enlarged right because now it's you know it's become existential

00:10:05.180 it's no longer just uh where's the ice machine it's where where's the ice machine and is there

00:10:09.980 an ice machine right right right and you're living two quests at once essentially you don't know

00:10:16.140 whether you're on a quest of is there at all and keep fighting dog tooth and nail around every

00:10:22.980 corner god you know when you're with someone this is huge okay yeah the feeling of sort of

00:10:29.840 you and a friend you and a lover whatever okay

00:10:33.420 i think you and a friend is particular and you're navigating a new space together

00:10:39.260 like a hotel and there's this kind of

00:10:42.800 quiet figuring things out together almost muttering under the breath like two foraging animals okay

00:10:50.080 right like oh there's the okay yes yes yes it would be like it'd be like and these little

00:10:55.120 negotiations of who's right oh my god oh my god the burrito's here the burrito's here the burrito's 0.73

00:10:59.880 all right all right get it get it don't forget to tip generously okay let's hear how she does it

00:11:09.400 she's cackling up storm already i had a phantom ring i opened so excited there's nothing there

00:11:18.900 i thought i i hallucinated the burrito oh okay continue sorry oh and i interrupted and i interrupted

00:11:26.120 no i'm back i'm still in it so okay so okay it's like this little negotiation of like who's who's

00:11:33.140 right okay like like right who knows who's taking the lead who's taking the lead like and these

00:11:40.140 little well actually and in my case it's always defensive it's always well the only reason i

00:11:44.100 thought that was an exit was clearly do you see the glowing red like bouncing off the wall so it's

00:11:48.400 this like yeah like that's why i thought that was an exit sign nurse dan i didn't just think it

00:11:51.600 because yes wait you're bringing up something from which is i instantly one of my greatest

00:11:56.160 fears i don't know if i've talked about this on pook is appearing lost in a restaurant in a hotel

00:11:59.440 anywhere i so i arrived at this hotel yesterday i leave i barely spent any time here i arrive

00:12:05.020 after the rehearsal dinner momentary confusion about where the elevators are humiliation i go

00:12:10.700 into this huge performance i see someone who works there and i go of course sorry i cannot i'm like

00:12:16.740 sorry are the elevators this way he goes oh actually they're that way i go oh so just the

00:12:21.920 wrong way i like i was like i was going the wrong way i went into this huge performance 0.99

00:12:26.440 what a fucking idiot i am i've never been here meanwhile it's a it's a maze this is like a 0.99

00:12:33.740 a labyrinth villa maze yeah oh one of those classic wine country kind of kind of yeah yeah 1.00

00:12:39.760 we'll lay it out in a mediterranean style i've literally never been to one but i can imagine

00:12:43.660 yeah yeah meanwhile i don't drink wine wait let me just sit with this for a second

00:12:48.760 wait this happened to me a similar oh well there's a couple things like i've realized i do this thing

00:12:56.940 it's it's it's so ingrained and it's been happening so particularly now because in italy i find it

00:13:04.700 even so i find it embarrassing to say excuse me in a restaurant trying to signal for a waiter's

00:13:08.980 attention okay oh no matter what i feel rude right so yeah yeah i just wait for eye contact

00:13:14.720 yeah yeah yeah and and however they do not drop a check in this town okay it is nearly impossible

00:13:23.360 so beautiful i'll leave you for hours right to get a check it actually yes but it actually gets

00:13:28.380 it actually gets to a point of like like it's like a it's like an initiate initiatory like

00:13:33.240 cave ritual you have to go to the priest and ask three times to be let in before he'll let you in

00:13:37.020 sends you away twice it's like like like we like directly asked for the check like like six times

00:13:43.580 like I nods like like it just like it gets to a point of absurdity it's amazing but so I have this

00:13:51.000 thing which is I'll go and this is it you know in the states I say um excuse me and here I I'm

00:13:57.540 forced to say I mean dare I dare I admit it scusa I mean yeah love it okay it's a lot okay it's like

00:14:06.100 because it almost feels you know the way uh like people might in english use a legitimate word from

00:14:14.060 another language as kind of a as kind of a gag yeah yeah of course and so then scusa is almost

00:14:21.800 like scusa uh yeah yeah it's like over the top and then while it's like not like me like cackling

00:14:28.720 every time i say chow is getting like a like like i finally settled in because like because i said

00:14:34.740 to Chris I was like can you believe me you know and then he was like well I was thinking about

00:14:38.340 when people say like the basics like hello goodbye and thank you like in English it's not their first

00:14:43.180 language I'm not like you know he like like it's it you don't it's perfectly normal it's 1.00

00:14:49.160 you expect them to be no but say chow saying like an earnest chow yeah is unimaginable and they've 1.00

00:14:57.120 been slipping out okay like like I had a moment where I noticed myself I was like can you believe 1.00

00:15:02.900 it it's happened i was like i just said it without any like self-awareness child yeah okay like i was

00:15:10.580 just like i can't even do an impression of it because the self-consciousness will immediately

00:15:14.340 come in but anyway anyway all right sorry sorry all right so i go like this in the states i go

00:15:21.100 like so i go excuse me and if they don't hear me i am humiliated both to both to the person that i 0.96

00:15:27.280 am with and anyone around me dining wise and so this thing comes out of me every fucking time oh 0.89

00:15:34.780 okay I go oh oh okay so I go so I go I go like excuse me oh every time this this big oh it's 0.99

00:15:43.320 every fuck and last name scusa oh okay it's it's as if I have to communicate through an oh 0.96

00:15:50.920 awareness that something occurred and that hey everyone i know that something occurred like it 0.99

00:15:58.160 was a miss oh i can't just silence and just yeah just sit with it yeah i have to go i was like

00:16:08.960 scusa oh it's weird like i and then i'll do it like three times in a row i'll be like scusa oh

00:16:16.540 Oh, like the O is involuntary and I can't even stop it.

00:16:20.900 Anyway, well, it is what it is.

00:16:23.640 No, because this is like, I'm trying to think of what this relates to for me.

00:16:27.540 So which is the which are those little moments of performance only for other people for their benefit, ostensibly, but to protect your own image in their eyes, having no idea what you are in their eyes, but trying to curate at every moment.

00:16:42.360 Of course. Yeah.

00:16:46.540 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:16:50.980 It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea.

00:16:55.920 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Trainor, disappeared from a commune.

00:16:59.780 It was hard to wrap your head around.

00:17:01.120 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:17:04.720 So no, I am not your guru.

00:17:08.520 And back then, I lied to my parents.

00:17:11.140 I lied to police.

00:17:12.420 I lied to everybody.

00:17:13.140 There were years, Ryder, where I could not say your name.

00:17:16.180 I've decided to go back to my hometown in Northern California,

00:17:19.060 interview my friends, family, talk to police, journalists,

00:17:21.880 whomever I can to try to find out what actually happened.

00:17:25.220 Isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods

00:17:28.140 and not the obvious boyfriend?

00:17:29.820 They have had this case for 30 years. 0.98

00:17:32.740 I'll teach you sons of **** to come around here and my wife. 0.97

00:17:35.780 Boom, boom. 0.99

00:17:37.080 This is The Red Weather.

00:17:40.100 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app,

00:17:42.580 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:17:46.180 The more you listen to your kids, the closer you'll be.

00:17:50.820 So we asked kids, what do you want your parents to hear?

00:17:54.520 I feel sometimes that I'm not listened to.

00:17:57.240 I would just want you to listen to me more often and evaluate situations with me and lead me towards success.

00:18:03.940 Listening is a form of love.

00:18:06.160 Find resources to help you support your kids and their emotional well-being at SoundItOutTogether.org.

00:18:12.380 That's SoundItOutTogether.org.

00:18:14.580 Brought to you by the Ad Council and Pivotal.

00:18:17.340 Crook and Chase Nashville chats with the coolest cat in country music.

00:18:21.020 He is edgy.

00:18:21.840 He's fun.

00:18:22.860 He is Chase Matthews.

00:18:24.340 Keith Urban helped make him a global sensation last year,

00:18:27.100 but it's his recent number one hit darling to put Chase on the map

00:18:30.120 and launched a fun and difficult conversation about lovers who cheat and lie.

00:18:35.360 That's why I'm scared to get married.

00:18:36.720 You're giving me trust issues, brother.

00:18:38.260 Crook and Chase Nashville chats with Chase Matthews.

00:18:41.000 Listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app,

00:18:43.120 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

00:18:47.540 Hello, it's me, Anna Sinfield, from The Girlfriends,

00:18:51.060 the number one hit true crime show

00:18:53.380 that puts women right in the center of their own stories.

00:18:57.240 I'm back with more one-off interviews 1.00

00:18:59.640 with some truly kick-ass women on The Girlfriends Spotlight. 1.00

00:19:04.580 I want to introduce you to Sylvia.

00:19:07.060 I'm going to climb this.

00:19:09.440 And then there's Vaisaka.

00:19:11.580 Let's see how we can stop killing and save lives.

00:19:15.680 Leila dared to ask the question.

00:19:18.140 Is badness hereditary?

00:19:20.180 And finally, we'll meet Rosamund.

00:19:22.300 If it wasn't for the year where Ella lived,

00:19:25.120 she wouldn't have died on that fatal night.

00:19:28.060 You'll even get to meet my mum in that one,

00:19:29.780 who I can always count on to keep my feet on the ground.

00:19:32.480 I'm not too intimidated by her.

00:19:34.240 What are you talking about? 1.00

00:19:37.060 Listen to the Girlfriend Spotlight

00:19:39.000 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

00:19:41.540 or wherever you get your podcasts.

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00:20:22.260 I also was thinking about, because I'm at a wedding, right?

00:20:25.920 And I'm talking to, so wedding etiquette, right?

00:20:29.540 Is it, what?

00:20:30.940 Yes, yes.

00:20:31.380 No, I'm mumbling.

00:20:32.100 I'm mumbling.

00:20:32.840 I'm mumbling in support.

00:20:35.400 Well, because wedding etiquette is that you talk to other people, right?

00:20:37.860 you don't just talk to people you know you go and how do you know the bride and groom oh wow you go

00:20:42.800 to people and you go well I'm his uncle's best friend's wife's sister's cousin's brother's wife 0.97

00:20:47.860 and I'm just a whore you know is always the feeling right it's like and I'm like the the 0.98

00:20:52.700 sense of the the the sort of whore like like the guest who is the plus one essentially right and 0.99

00:20:59.720 I mean whore in the broadest sense oh I'm animating the whore because I'm I'm actually 0.98

00:21:04.460 here alone oh well that to actually be there alone no it's fine i know then you can just 0.72

00:21:11.640 actually my girlfriend couldn't make it so no that's dream so so i'm able to kind of um float

00:21:19.000 freely as that as the whore crone and um and god that's good oh but i found myself slipping into

00:21:27.920 this other voice it's the voice that you use or that i use sometimes only for someone i don't 0.63

00:21:34.080 know who like the overly kind of saccharine I don't even recognize myself in it but yes okay

00:21:41.060 hi or like you know when you when you find yourself making like okay like there were

00:21:46.220 orders being passed around and I kind of ran up to it and I kind of went me again or like I did

00:21:51.420 some like really over the top yeah okay for the benefit of course of the server holding the

00:21:56.320 orders but also there was another guest there and I did a big like I just like there's something so

00:22:02.880 yeah when you relax into a foreign social language yes and some people just live in that for their

00:22:11.180 whole lives right no no i no no by the way i get it because you go in there and the waters are warm

00:22:19.460 kind of being in there going oh god and like looking around and being like well that's pretty

00:22:23.340 you know and being like being like oh my god like just the water is yeah really i get how people

00:22:28.540 coast yeah well i know it happens and i the way i like to see it as a i think the comforting way

00:22:36.600 to think of sort of this wedding chatter for example that doesn't feel like your own voice

00:22:40.920 right is to think of it as a cloak a cloak that one wears well yeah sure but but i was gonna say

00:22:47.680 it's a cloak one wears to protect the interior okay so it's actually a way of maintaining

00:22:53.240 maintaining privacy it's a convenient mask okay it's a convenient and quick mask right you just

00:23:01.680 hold up right so you grab it hey you come into the party it's it's hey it's a it's a um masquerade

00:23:08.300 party everyone grabs their mask it's always a costume party honey yeah yeah uh but like like

00:23:17.200 wait wait wait this is huge this is huge this is huge yeah yeah because i'm like oh that thing of

00:23:25.100 what is that the eyes wide shut that that cartoon of the masquerade ball yes that is just making

00:23:30.740 physical that which we already know what is already yeah yeah yeah right so like it's like

00:23:35.780 yeah yeah yeah yeah it's like honey honey you weren't free you weren't freed by the mask you

00:23:43.940 were wearing earlier today because your behavior certainly suggested you were you know the mask

00:23:50.400 frees us when i put on my god you know pulcinella nose or whatever the cloak is the cloak of which

00:23:59.080 you speak that is so yeah that's amazing and you know it's one thing when you feel yourself adorning

00:24:04.940 it yeah and being protected by it but it's when you catch someone that you know intimately and

00:24:10.180 you see their cloak where it is when you look across because yesterday I saw a friend kind of

00:24:14.960 being like very sweet like an older woman that was a stranger and being kind of like yeah well

00:24:19.000 I know her from here and it was like yeah seeing someone else doing that is like there's something

00:24:24.740 really sweet and comforting about it and by the way this is just this is what we this is our

00:24:28.940 humanity like we have to do this right like we have to we have to talk to people who we don't

00:24:34.840 know as scary as it is it's as uncomfortable and horrible like it can be like god i know 0.88

00:24:40.700 we have to engage and and i'll say this once you have to engage the elders and may you burn oh 0.77

00:24:48.440 those who do not engage the elders burn in hell yeah i really do yeah and like and that's something 0.98

00:24:53.800 that i have what are you the the shoeless you're like the shoeless children in their little uh 0.52

00:24:59.560 in their little tights okay running across the parquet like dance floor that's square that's

00:25:05.580 been placed inside of the thing you know like running through you know you know how they're

00:25:09.480 always skidding across they're skating across the wooden floor when no one's dancing the presence of

00:25:16.320 the child of course at the wedding must be discussed okay okay the the sort of the crowning

00:25:22.500 of the single child because there's there's two arguments okay there's a lot oh yeah well

00:25:28.420 oh there's there's much to be said god forbid there's a little girl and a little boy

00:25:32.780 well god dear god no i mean the the the well to be either of those thank god i never have been

00:25:39.780 and and even if they tried to make me that i know i would have somehow complicated matters okay

00:25:44.220 well like i've told that story before but you know me reading at the dinner if someone had

00:25:49.240 been like you're next to like a three-year-old oh yeah i mean that's well like also like to be

00:25:56.780 given i mean the dawning of these roles and the i i also like the well the social pressure to be

00:26:07.300 delighted by by whoever is the the child of the event like the child of the like the star

00:26:13.840 you know like yeah like they're like well yeah we're all loving him and his little blue suit

00:26:19.100 okay and it's like and it's like he's like the star for the evening and you better know that's

00:26:25.860 the performative like if you and me were sitting next to each other okay and that like little boy

00:26:29.800 came over and like buttered our shoe like it was grabbed a biscuit off your plate oh yeah yes like

00:26:38.780 with jelly like it was well that that's extreme okay okay let's just say yeah grabbed a biscuit

00:26:43.800 off my plate I came buttering my shoe is a bit much I think anyone would accept him but

00:26:48.360 that's cute but yeah like something like charming or whatever like I know I could see it like

00:26:54.100 the kid rolls in in front of you and me engages us with a little smile or something okay a little

00:27:00.380 like giggling whatever and you and me are like you and me imagine the moment that the change

00:27:06.340 between the moment that the parent can see us versus the moment they can't yeah the way

00:27:12.220 an adoring expression alights upon our face maybe maybe you are enjoying the child but

00:27:20.660 surveillance exactly the parental surveillance actually prevents any actual moment of appreciation

00:27:26.440 or connection yes because exactly because they've they've robbed you of the opportunity to actually

00:27:32.560 meet their child experience the child to meet their child without them checking if you are

00:27:39.260 if you are um enchanted by it it's it's yeah the pressure for immediate enchantment

00:27:44.880 yeah enchantments you know that's why i'm sort of like hello i mean it's also the responsibility

00:27:52.160 i feel of the childless okay for us to hold sort of to not see that's the other thing we mustn't

00:27:59.220 be forced to to make everyone comfortable that don't worry we're not crone whore okay okay yes 0.99

00:28:06.120 we don't have our own but of course we react with the same yes my my tits are milking at the sight 0.99

00:28:12.000 of him of course you know you know like you know like you better not but I do think there's something 0.94

00:28:19.460 and almost that's why I think sometimes I think those kids appreciate frankly okay you just look

00:28:24.740 at them go hello you go hello well I'm like so indebted to the women that I grew up around who

00:28:31.160 yes yes because they're just like what yeah or they're like okay oh my god no yeah

00:28:41.620 yes yes only time I heard no yeah that's amazing no but uh uh huh no but but what about the feeling

00:28:57.080 of okay what about that weird so so that weird floating out the floating out from the hotel space

00:29:05.240 or the floating up to the event space okay the feeling like those so those moments where

00:29:11.220 let's just say it's about 5 30 which is when people are invited to begin having a cocktail

00:29:17.540 downstairs i just got so excited yeah why because you realize your food is 20 minutes closer

00:29:23.380 no because about that about the ceremony because again i've been to so few weddings the last couple

00:29:27.820 years and i'm like so desperate for sorry ritual and the culture and performance and theater so

00:29:33.480 it's like i'm so excited to actually see and by the way when i see my friend like i will burst

00:29:39.720 into tears guaranteed well you know you wonder you know it's always a question and you you probably

00:29:46.260 will you probably will we did there was a shabbat last night for the rehearsal dinner and they

00:29:52.060 invited they were like anybody who wants to come up to light the candles because um she's jewish

00:29:57.520 her husband is not and i like wanted to leap up so desperately and i didn't i was scared no okay

00:30:05.540 wait and then anyone was allowed oh no no so sorry so no her her mother was like because i know the 0.50

00:30:13.280 goddamn prayers you know and was like anybody wants to come up to light the candles and no one 0.67

00:30:17.760 oh join join in join in come up to the front to light the candles and and and there were about 0.98

00:30:24.480 four seconds no one was getting up and i was like well a i want to of course you do and i was like

00:30:29.880 but then i and also come on no one's getting up like come on i gotta be like one of the jews

00:30:35.280 and then were you afraid scared no but here's the question was it pure fear or was it if was

00:30:41.420 it a fear that like oh i guess she's not comfortable already having a stage every

00:30:45.260 night of her life she has to get up on the bema too for you to be the one there was a little bit

00:30:50.200 of like i had exactly well that did happen because i had the urge to go up there it's me i don't it's

00:30:56.640 not like it's not like i want to go up there to be like uh hello and like do a pratfall yeah but

00:31:02.440 but i did want to go up there i wanted to stay next to my friend and do shabbat but i didn't

00:31:07.800 and i i minimized myself at expense of the whole group no yeah but it was fine but um anyway that's

00:31:15.020 a completely useless anecdote but uh what it's actually huge and i'm sitting with it because

00:31:19.300 it's profoundly meaningful in my life in about 70 000 ways knowing what you know it's amazing how

00:31:27.920 i mean the status and the varying statuses of knowing a prayer knowing the lyrics knowing the

00:31:34.560 whatever i know and god is there any like you know it's effortless like when you know you 0.83

00:31:42.840 fucking know when you half know you fucking half know and when you don't know you don't know 0.80

00:31:47.540 but it's it's it's so the respectful silence dipping out yeah gently dipping tipping the 0.99

00:32:00.920 head yeah like the primal nature yeah of tipping down like to like we do things like this literally

00:32:10.400 like we gently lower our head like that these like classic physiological response yeah for real

00:32:17.300 yeah oh it's amazing i know where was i tap dancing okay that was that's a definite knock

00:32:23.500 the burrito is here okay well we'll see is it coming how exciting she's throwing on a robe

00:32:31.320 she went full she put her arms in and everything she's gone she's gone from the image all i see is

00:32:38.320 the hotel ceiling, a drum lamp, a jug of alkaline water. Oh my God. I wonder if it's one of those

00:32:48.940 rolling trays. I wonder if it's a tray left here. Okay. Okay. I have questions. Is it one of those

00:32:54.920 big rolling things or is it a, is it a big metal rolling? Oh, she, she doesn't even have her

00:32:59.900 headphones in. Sorry. The extent to which I'm passionate about knowing if it's a big rolling

00:33:04.040 thing is a big rolling thing no so so it's just a tray now where did he place it in or did he hand

00:33:11.540 it off so there's a little there's a little um okay there's a little area i'm sorry right next

00:33:19.480 to the door there's a little table so he put because it's just one simple tray he said and

00:33:23.740 he said do you want the card you want me to put there i said oh just you can just put it right

00:33:26.940 there that was a direct reenactment i'm gonna take one bite of it because the hunger is

00:33:30.640 i thought i heard him mention a side nope oh he said a side of half and half because i asked for

00:33:37.280 a side of cream because i brought a can of coffee well everyone remembers the time that you and me

00:33:42.720 were in a hotel room and you wanted i want the cream heated and it was a classic like not to be

00:33:49.620 a wench true poog origins yeah yeah we all remember when uh i'm just thinking i did a full 0.99

00:33:59.460 tap dance and I'm trying to remember what it was like like I was reminded of you leaving the 1.00

00:34:04.460 gynecologists with like backing your way out like having to when they told you not to worry 0.83

00:34:10.440 and you had to like tap dance your way out backwards like oh make a big thing of it and 0.86

00:34:17.220 I experienced that recently here in Italia and I'm trying to remember what it was um wow after

00:34:22.720 all that talk of ice I meant to ask for a side of ice and guess who forgot can you believe Negroni

00:34:26.460 has become my nightly cocktail me so cool cannot could not get a sip down of a negroni i every time

00:34:37.020 i went for it i could not do it in the states wait really something's too bitter what yeah we

00:34:41.480 were even together once at that restaurant and i was like i'm not gonna do negroni even though

00:34:45.460 that's your whole thing here that's your whole menu because i never liked him the guy's like

00:34:49.560 you're gonna like this one like you know this one has peach in it of course of course and then like

00:34:54.260 i'm like i don't know and he did a thing which i really appreciated because i i hate to disappoint

00:34:58.700 so he's like i do want you to try he's like if you don't like it like if you hate it oh like

00:35:03.900 even make me say if you hate it like he's like so sweet you're not like dying for it like i'm

00:35:10.080 bringing you another cocktail i just like you know and he wasn't even acting like and i'm doing that 0.95

00:35:14.140 because i'm so convinced no no it wasn't that and and i did it and i fuck i can't remember what 0.92

00:35:20.060 happen actually i mean i know i didn't like it i can't remember i've changed i've changed i can't 0.97

00:35:25.940 wait to have a negroni with you when you're back and i got two more bathing suits i got two more

00:35:31.100 bathing suits in the same style funny ears wrapped around from the same place i went in this time i

00:35:38.540 didn't try anything on i just was like yeah you remember me eh um i want to say a quick thing

00:35:43.640 about weddings oh yeah i'm actually not done talking about that at all no i mean it's i mean

00:35:48.700 this is a whole other podcast we start called weddings. I mean, it's just a whole other

00:35:52.780 ecosystem entirely. Okay. But I just wanted to say that yesterday I wore, so Marion Park

00:35:58.980 sent us beautiful shoes a long time ago. Very, they're, they're fancy. These are nice shoes.

00:36:05.560 They're made specifically for comfort. They're made specifically for the foot. Isn't she a

00:36:10.720 podiatrist? Yeah, I believe so. So I wore, I wore these Marion Park, uh, how do you describe it? 0.92

00:36:18.080 P-A-R-K-E. 1.00

00:36:20.340 Yes. 1.00

00:36:20.980 Kitten heel with like a netted toe.

00:36:23.460 Anyway, I wore them last night.

00:36:24.800 They're gorgeous.

00:36:25.380 They're elegant.

00:36:25.840 They're beautiful.

00:36:26.900 When I tell you, I was able to just stand all night, just hang out forever in them. 0.99

00:36:30.440 God damn. 0.99

00:36:30.720 Just without even a consideration of the foot. 1.00

00:36:33.140 Just.

00:36:34.240 That's unbelievable.

00:36:35.120 That's huge.

00:36:35.740 That's actually really huge. 0.95

00:36:37.320 And my friend, who's a very cunning with a cunning eye, she goes, are those Dior? 0.97

00:36:43.280 There it is.

00:36:44.380 She's a fashion. 1.00

00:36:45.680 I mean, this girl, this bitch knows Dior. 1.00

00:36:48.000 i mean okay okay yeah and and that god what is it about someone asking if something something 1.00

00:36:54.880 and um wait oh yeah the shoe so here's the thing here's what i want to say

00:37:01.160 so marion park okay yes so you hear all this this stuff and it's so easy to think there's a

00:37:07.920 matter of degree like like oh yeah your feet hurt after dancing all night in the wrong shoe

00:37:13.880 no it can lit literally be i i i could not walk i literally could not walk like it was like

00:37:22.280 uh like hobbling along like something went horribly wrong in just uh just a you actually

00:37:31.240 classic you're reminding me you're reminding me because i'm going to an event on monday night

00:37:36.500 and this shoe that i was planning on wearing i'm just remembering the last time i wore them

00:37:40.520 for hours i truly left a party early yeah i was like i actually can't stay at this

00:37:47.380 splashy event another 20 minutes because i can't stand no i was walking through crushed glass to

00:37:54.120 get home uh barefoot you know to be out of the shoes and even then it was like it was like the

00:37:59.300 feeling was coming back so it was like the burning pain you know it was like the pain of um frostbite

00:38:03.660 when you're warming up um and it's an ancestral pain it's like it's like it's like generations

00:38:09.140 of pain through the foot so yeah it's that so it is real it is real to to have a shoe like that

00:38:14.920 so anyway the shoes are gorgeous and i was eyeing a boot on on her website yeah that i'm very

00:38:22.140 curious about so i'll just say that and by the way we'll be reaching out we'll be reaching out

00:38:27.600 again i wasn't sure i wasn't sure if i was gonna tell you this but i was like you're gonna see it

00:38:32.060 Anyway, so last night I had, you know, I came home.

00:38:37.800 I was flying high off the Marion Park shoes.

00:38:39.300 Is this about those drinks?

00:38:42.360 No, you're, wait, what do you mean?

00:38:43.860 Because I saw you post some drinks that I don't believe I received.

00:38:47.400 Okay, that's a separate thing.

00:38:49.240 But listen, this is one of the funniest things in the world

00:38:52.240 and one of the coolest things in the world.

00:38:53.920 So my friend, the stylist who thought they were Dior,

00:38:56.160 she goes, I'm going to buy them.

00:38:57.520 She texted me from the hotel room.

00:38:58.680 She goes, I'm buying them right now.

00:38:59.680 They're on sale, by the way. 0.95

00:39:00.740 and I'll post it on the Poog Instagram. 0.77

00:39:03.000 Yes.

00:39:03.460 Well, I did post it on the Poog Instagram.

00:39:05.220 That's nice.

00:39:05.500 I was so excited about the shoes.

00:39:07.240 I emailed Marion Park herself.

00:39:10.700 I was like, had a great night in the shoes, whatever.

00:39:13.540 She responds within five minutes.

00:39:15.880 And there I am, having kicked off my Marion Park heels,

00:39:18.680 emailing with the broad herself.

00:39:20.500 Can you imagine? 0.82

00:39:21.660 No, I remember when we first spoke with her,

00:39:24.140 she was incredibly generous, first of all,

00:39:27.880 about us trying her shoes.

00:39:29.500 you did something like you said almost like something like you couldn't decide between

00:39:34.220 two and i think she sent them both you know it was like oh my god well you know what that is

00:39:39.200 belief in the product she knows yeah still though i mean the cost of goods i'm like

00:39:48.920 i um i'm gonna get a facial on monday hydrafacial something's up with the skin

00:39:54.880 okay oh oh oh this is huge you probably saw this email we haven't discussed it

00:40:01.220 Dennis Gross has a new laser yes treatment that goes see but you little girl yeah you don't have

00:40:09.460 hormonal acne I I get that like every month around my period I will get no and I actually

00:40:14.840 wrote back going well what do you do when you don't have um the ailment but you want the cure

00:40:22.880 nonetheless okay i want to use that laser and i'm going well i'm curious it goes into the skin and

00:40:30.480 back sorry and say because remember how some doctors are like rosacea is acne it's just a

00:40:36.880 different form of it and it's like what and then and so i'm like well maybe it is like

00:40:42.560 also like yeah no no but it's all about it goes deep it goes to the actual oil glands and

00:40:49.560 there's something about the flow of you know the oil that gets stopped up and slowed down and needs

00:40:57.220 to flow more freely and that all acne or whatever is the basis of this blah blah blah right yeah

00:41:02.380 and so I'm quite curious it's interesting I mean my skin to be clear I mean first of all I've been

00:41:11.240 a little lazy with the um with the sun the sun care yeah I hear you I I was walking around New

00:41:18.380 york city all day yeah hatless the forehead permanently damaged what are you gonna do you

00:41:25.820 gotta live no you gotta i mean well that's what i also remember oh right this is a game

00:41:31.060 skincare is just the game uh uh we like like we we play like like to do it at all to spf at all

00:41:38.880 you know at least you're ahead of the game in the yes and so it's like you know yeah um

00:41:48.380 And you have to choose life, you know?

00:41:50.840 Right.

00:41:52.180 Yeah.

00:41:56.080 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:42:00.140 It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea.

00:42:05.320 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Trainor, disappeared from a commune.

00:42:09.340 It was hard to wrap your head around.

00:42:10.680 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:42:14.300 So no, I am not your guru.

00:42:17.520 And back then, I lied to my parents, I lied to police, I lied to everybody.

00:42:22.960 There were years, Ryder, where I could not say your name.

00:42:25.940 I've decided to go back to my hometown in Northern California, interview my friends, family, talk to police, journalists, whomever I can, to try to find out what actually happened.

00:42:34.800 Isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods and not the obvious boyfriend?

00:42:39.380 They have had this case for 30 years. 0.99

00:42:42.140 I'll teach you sons of b**** to come around here and my wife. 1.00

00:42:45.340 Boom, boom. 1.00

00:42:46.420 This is The Red Weather.

00:42:49.620 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:42:56.400 The more you listen to your kids, the closer you'll be.

00:43:00.400 So we asked kids, what do you want your parents to hear?

00:43:04.420 I feel sometimes that I'm not listened to.

00:43:06.720 I would just want you to listen to me more often and evaluate situations with me and lead me towards success.

00:43:13.480 Listening is a form of love.

00:43:15.100 Find resources to help you support your kids and their emotional well-being at SoundItOutTogether.org.

00:43:21.940 That's SoundItOutTogether.org.

00:43:24.420 Brought to you by the Ad Council and Pivotal.

00:43:26.860 Crook and Chase Nashville chats with the coolest cat in country music.

00:43:30.580 He is edgy. He's fun. He is Chase Matthews.

00:43:33.920 Keith Urban helped make him a global sensation last year, but it's his recent number one hit,

00:43:38.220 Darling, that put Chase on the map and launched a fun and difficult conversation about lovers who cheat and lie.

00:43:44.920 That's why I'm scared to get married.

00:43:46.260 You're giving me trust issues, brother.

00:43:47.820 Crook and Chase Nashville Chats with Chase Matthew.

00:43:50.200 Listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app,

00:43:53.000 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

00:43:57.120 Hello, it's me, Anna Sinfield, from The Girlfriends,

00:44:00.620 the number one hit true crime show

00:44:02.960 that puts women right in the center of their own stories.

00:44:07.080 I'm back with more one-off interviews 1.00

00:44:09.220 with some truly kick-ass women on The Girlfriends Spotlight. 1.00

00:44:14.200 I want to introduce you to Sylvia.

00:44:16.620 I'm going to climb this.

00:44:19.060 And then there's Vaisaka.

00:44:21.140 Let's see how we can stop killing and save lives.

00:44:25.240 Leila dared to ask the question.

00:44:27.740 Is badness hereditary?

00:44:29.740 And finally, we'll meet Rosamund.

00:44:31.880 If it wasn't for the year where Ella lived,

00:44:34.700 she wouldn't have died on that fatal night.

00:44:37.620 You'll even get to meet my mum in that one,

00:44:39.340 who I can always count on to keep my feet on the ground.

00:44:42.020 I'm not too intimidated by her.

00:44:43.840 What are you talking about? 1.00

00:44:46.640 Listen to The Girlfriend Spotlight on the iHeartRadio app, 1.00

00:44:50.160 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:44:57.620 I have something to say, which is that I was traveling the other day,

00:45:06.300 and I got in an altercation with a fellow.

00:45:09.780 and I was able to yell at a man and okay so I'll tell you what happened all right let me walk you

00:45:16.320 through it I'll stop you when I think there's not enough detail I'll slow this baby down all right

00:45:23.200 okay okay let's go let's go so I'm arriving from I've been in New York for months doing my show

00:45:28.520 I'm arriving back in LA I have a lot of bags and by the way folks I went and purchased in a

00:45:35.020 suitcase in a hurry because I had could not fit the stuff I went into a way I got the um

00:45:42.680 the big one yeah not the hugest one but not the carry-on flex the size up whatever it's great

00:45:50.040 I know the one so I run out I get that I'm like okay I'm doing it I have so I have a huge what

00:45:57.000 I'm trying to say is I had two really big bags a small bag a shoulder bag I had too much stuff

00:46:01.840 I'm trying to justify right now that I when I landed in L.A., I got a curbside pickup from Uber because I couldn't manage the shuttle on my own.

00:46:09.780 It was 11 p.m.

00:46:10.900 Are you saying that you just had you described having so many bags to justify getting an Uber?

00:46:17.240 Yeah, like not taking the shuttle.

00:46:19.000 It's crazy.

00:46:19.580 To what?

00:46:20.180 Who cares?

00:46:21.120 To the Uber center?

00:46:22.780 At LAX, we have to take the shuttle.

00:46:24.480 Remember, you've seen me take the shuttle.

00:46:26.320 Yes, yes.

00:46:27.160 To take the shuttle to like the area and it was crowded, whatever.

00:46:30.460 so I thought you know what I'm just doing it I'm getting curbside and so this so I'm waiting the

00:46:36.660 Uber driver calls me he's like there's a lot of traffic at the airport I'm 10 minutes away

00:46:39.900 sorry I was like that's fine I'm waiting I'm waiting I'm see the car start to pull up and I

00:46:45.980 see check the license plate oh it's my car I start to struggle to get my bags over to it and then I

00:46:51.280 see this guy who's loading all his stuff I can hear it and I can feel it I can feel the struggle

00:46:55.600 I could feel all of it. Oh, you can't imagine the bag loses. No, when the bag slips from the

00:47:01.520 shoulder contact with my shoulder slips down. I curse it. Yeah. So then I'm seeing this man

00:47:07.360 loading his stuff into my Uber with his girlfriend or what have you. I go, oh, no. And I go, oh,

00:47:13.900 maybe I'm wrong. And then I look down and go, no, that is my car. So I walk over. He's in his

00:47:18.380 girlfriend's in. He's in. He's about to close the door. And I say. So politely, I go, yes,

00:47:24.080 oh overly classic oh the oh no right yeah oh i go oh even though you've known for my voice up 10

00:47:32.000 octaves of course i go oh sorry i think i even said sorry maybe i said all right oh oh um i think

00:47:38.720 this is my uber yep and he goes it's not he goes it's not and slams the door and i go wait slams

00:47:49.000 it from the outside and he's about to move around to his side because he just put his his no sorry

00:47:53.520 he's in he goes the the window is like i got it pulls it closed pulls it closed he pulls it closed 0.98

00:47:58.480 okay he looks at me he goes it's not and slams the door and i go jesus asshole and i said i don't 1.00

00:48:03.740 know who the fuck raised you i didn't say fuck i said i don't know who raised you but learned some 1.00

00:48:07.120 manners oh my gosh wait hold on i wait hold on full throated whose uber is it and he goes 1.00

00:48:13.280 don't you want to hear the rest of the story i'm sorry i thought i thought you were done okay go on

00:48:18.840 oh i'm not done so i'm trying to think of what the first contact was or no maybe 0.97

00:48:23.240 no he goes it's not he slams i go jesus asshole and he goes but the window's open what he no yeah 0.97

00:48:29.860 and then he goes what and i go i don't know who raised you but you should really learn some 0.99

00:48:35.960 manners you should learn how to talk to people with some decency no decency and he goes hell

00:48:40.520 yeah okay and then the and the uber starts to drive away what i look down it was my uber okay

00:48:48.520 So I look down and I see on the app, it says heading to my address and I go, yeah, I knew it.

00:48:52.840 So I immediately call the driver. The car is gone. Not super quick, but it's like, you know, half a block down.

00:48:59.260 Is his name Kate? Her name Kate?

00:49:02.060 So I call the driver. I call the driver and I go, hi. And he goes, that's and the driver's apologetic.

00:49:09.740 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I go, that's OK. And he's like, can you come this way?

00:49:14.600 I go, yeah. So I so then I start lugging again, the huge bag, the other huge bag, the carry on

00:49:20.380 wheelie and my shoulder bag. I am. And by the way, I pick up the pace because I go, I want to see

00:49:26.040 this course. You don't want him. And I'm literally I'm not in the night, almost cackling. I say out

00:49:31.960 loud. I fucking can't wait to see him. I'm I'm practically skipping. Yes. So I get there. The 0.99

00:49:38.660 driver, he's already unloaded the stuff. The driver's like, I'm so sorry. They still there.

00:49:42.140 that was their name and yeah yeah no no i don't see him yet and i go that's okay it's not your

00:49:46.360 fault and then i i literally drop my bags at the back to he's gonna you know i drop my bags i go

00:49:54.340 looking for him i start i walk to the front i'm looking around i see him what i interpret as

00:50:01.540 cowering because there was a this like big column he's like way in the back there's always a column

00:50:07.240 at lax i'll tell you that much and he's he's back at the column i know him well i go and i go 0.99

00:50:11.900 and i put my hands in a prayer position i bow and i go have a i go thank you so much asshole 1.00

00:50:16.940 have a great night no you said asshole again yes oh and then did i say asshole maybe no maybe i 0.99

00:50:22.700 didn't say asshole i said i said no no i think i just i i grasped i clasped my hands yes thank you 0.99

00:50:27.660 and i went thank you so much have a great night and then and the girlfriend goes like all right 0.94

00:50:33.880 that's enough and i go teach your boy and i go put i think i said like what did i say something 0.85

00:50:38.860 like teach your boyfriend how to like what did I fucking say I said something about like yeah yeah 0.84

00:50:44.880 something like that like I wish it I wish I remember what it was but it was something good 0.96

00:50:48.440 baby and I felt and when I tell you I felt so vindicated and so alive and so good because

00:50:53.800 I will the only circumstance I will do that if you are so outwardly aggressively rude yes and

00:51:01.300 it's like there's just no no and by the way you were wrong like you should have you made like

00:51:08.100 i mean there really was there i would have okay he was cowering in a way that you felt he was

00:51:14.480 hoping to not have an interaction and by the way there's something else i did too there's something

00:51:19.040 else i did too and then later i was reflecting on the story i was like did i go too hard

00:51:23.500 but then but then i get in the car i'm laughing with the uber driver the uber driver goes he

00:51:28.820 offered me he said i said kate and the girl i guess said yes and then she was like and then

00:51:34.080 he just like offered me cash so he did he was he was purposely trying he knew i have a lot to say

00:51:39.760 that's not cool so his technique we gotta watch out for his technique we're gonna discuss his

00:51:44.500 technique in a second don't forget okay okay so then so then and i said to the driver the driver

00:51:49.340 and i are laughing and i go and i go i really don't talk to people like that but he was just

00:51:53.760 being it was just outrageous it was so rude i couldn't believe it and the driver said no no

00:51:57.480 he was being you know it's crazy so then we're pulling up he gets in his other car so it's like

00:52:02.240 oh by the way just if you had waited three more minutes i see the guy in his car they pull off

00:52:07.060 i'm up next to them no two cars next to each other yeah yeah and i stick and i flip them off

00:52:13.980 because i know he's there and my uber driver's loving it he's laughing we're having fun

00:52:18.620 god we go into the night well there's the i mean this that to be able to enjoy that with the uber

00:52:25.800 driver now is your middle finger right now manicured by the way then so you know what you

00:52:30.060 did you know you made this guy unload your bags you know you made him put him the bags in unload

00:52:37.500 them then he had to put mine in like it's just like anyway no I actually didn't have time people

00:52:42.300 to imagine a wedding without a manicure can you imagine anyway keep going oh I can imagine okay

00:52:49.280 uh no I just it was more that I was imagining like you I feel like your feminine fingers like

00:52:54.460 I feel like you have like a tend of a longer finger now and to me it's sort of like they're

00:52:59.600 short it's sort of the the original but what you think is short i that i still think is long

00:53:05.280 because mine just there's no way there's no good good okay good good i mean not good but they're

00:53:11.000 nice um beautiful but i just picture this sort of rounded 80s to me flipping the bird has a certain

00:53:19.160 nail from 80s film and television i guess 80s film oh yeah a very yeah the the the finger and

00:53:28.300 the nail like but anyway i see it very clearly and it just felt i i was just flying high i was

00:53:34.240 like do not do not and what is his i wonder if his move is i mean the cash thing is very very

00:53:42.940 weird because that's just so they lied to get in because he said they said yes and i guess they

00:53:47.980 said yeah i think his technique they're in there is you just grab anything you can get okay this

00:53:53.280 is what i'm wondering about you grab he thinks you can grab he thinks okay he's like you grab

00:53:57.180 anything you can get once you're in i guess he he's about ask for forgiveness later or whatever

00:54:03.860 yeah or sorry i'm just fascinated by what the the move is it's like he's pulling it's it's

00:54:12.120 it's oh oops you get in there misheard and then what can you do but the thing is you but the

00:54:17.120 problem is it's not like it's not like like how do you fix that other than with cash well no well

00:54:24.320 no so here's the thing so the cash thing's like well that's probably actually a better deal for

00:54:27.940 the for the driver he just gets cash right right so that i understand but here's what's weird to

00:54:32.940 me you rejected i'm standing in front of you with 16 bags alone and you're going this isn't yours

00:54:38.280 so you're actually do you know what i mean like let's just say there's an empty there's a car 0.95

00:54:42.240 floating around yeah and you're like uh and no one's claiming it right so fucked up but like 0.89

00:54:47.380 you're actually looking at me going oh that's mine and going and yeah right and like raising 0.96

00:54:52.780 rudely being like brazenly going it's not and slamming the door like no it's no very interesting

00:54:59.860 and i wish i could describe how this guy look do you think he thought it was his

00:55:04.800 do i think that i don't well here's the reason why because at first i thought it's an honest

00:55:10.180 mistake you check down you check the license plate right his brazen his knowledge that it wasn't but

00:55:16.600 then the driver telling me that he offered him cash i'm like no he was just trying to he just

00:55:20.580 was gonna take it and by the way let's say there was an emergency take it if he goes sorry my wife's 0.97

00:55:24.540 going into labor sorry we have an emergency sorry i go take it i don't give a shit but you're just 0.99

00:55:28.920 you just you can't you can't no you no i mean that's that's wild and um he was cowering behind 0.99

00:55:35.700 the pillar fascinated those pillars he thought i would he thought he would never see me again

00:55:40.980 he thought he wasn't gonna have to deal with me well guess what doll well right you're gonna see

00:55:46.260 this face boomerang is coming back around this mop of curly hair and he looked so i'm like who

00:55:51.920 does he look like if i had to compare him to someone actor who's caitlin jenner's son who's

00:56:00.860 that guy the like normal looking guy um brody brody jenner he was like he looked like a less 1.00

00:56:10.780 attractive Brody Jenner but he looked like that kind of a like guy who's like I get my dick sucked 0.99

00:56:18.820 at 3 p.m 9 p.m 2 a.m and 8 a.m and no one and you better not be off schedule sorry the way you 0.98

00:56:27.820 rolled up those numbers I actually thought was mathematically impressive not just due to them I

00:56:32.660 think being equally spaced but like I don't know if I can name four numbers that I don't know like

00:56:38.560 name four numbers that quick like four six two three okay I guess I did a decent I did no but

00:56:43.560 I said two three at the end I panicked and did one right after the other like I was like wow

00:56:47.760 yeah Kate you've got it there you've got more than you know you've got math wise but rolling away

00:56:54.060 in the uber I was like I I told my mom she was thrilled well there is the the thrill the thrill

00:57:03.120 and the joy that you i'm trying to think like when's the last that i've gone for it because

00:57:09.440 i i'm you know it's the same thing right it's like the um oh i'm sorry i think is there a chance 0.98

00:57:16.400 it's my uber okay when of course the fact is i know that's my uber you fucked up move okay yeah 0.75

00:57:21.900 right but then there's a certain thing there there are certain things and i wish i could 0.71

00:57:26.060 identify them now and i'll have to think about it off off the session but when i turn okay when

00:57:32.960 you like when my temper is activated for real oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah okay it's it's because it's

00:57:44.240 not it's not my go-to thing so it's yeah it feels like um like an insane drug that because it's rare

00:57:52.460 enough for me because it's not it's like it's like for the anger to flare in that way I mean

00:57:57.340 to be really mad at a stranger for saying something or doing something it's like it's

00:58:01.840 pretty rare so then the anger that flares up because it's such a strong emotion immediately

00:58:05.660 i'm like i'm like well this don't come every moon you know so it's like yeah yeah so there's

00:58:13.400 a reason it's almost like it's supposed to fly through me in those yeah i mean you know the one

00:58:19.540 like a woman got mad at me and chris for jaywalking but it was really obnoxious and by the way jaywalking

00:58:26.400 and i'll say this is between like 69th street or like and 70th street okay like one of the 10

00:58:36.080 footers okay yeah yeah not even a civilian was like yeah let's do that okay and what'd she say 0.59

00:58:44.760 i actually well i forget what yeah something like that i forget what a freak nerd she really went

00:58:51.220 for it though i can't remember what she said but but i was like i go um it took me a block because 0.99

00:58:57.440 i'm not used to expressing it okay and i go well you're a fucking asshole oh yeah again it took me 0.99

00:59:06.120 it took me like a block um oh i i'm actually amazed at the way it is in me and resides in me 0.99

00:59:14.380 like like i had this weird moment it's not weird but i was in i was walking in soho or manhattan

00:59:20.800 and i was walking behind this like hot girl and like athleisure and these construction these like

00:59:29.100 guys i mean just like classic these like guys started like talking to her and like being like 1.00

00:59:35.380 and she was like head you know chin high ignoring them and here i am behind her the like hag 1.00

00:59:40.920 sweeping up yes and i start and i start going oh yeah she fucking loves it dude don't stop she 0.95

00:59:46.880 fucking love yeah yeah yeah that's that okay and like yes yes yes and they were kind of like 0.95

00:59:52.380 and they were like i don't know and then i didn't talk to her obviously but i was kind of like was 0.98

00:59:58.340 she gonna turn her head and then yeah and then like wow yeah of course like your nightdom but

01:00:03.520 but the rage that bubbled up yes well that yeah yeah no um you just pray for articulation in those

01:00:10.720 moments yes well like the one like this one time with me and my friend Deirdre it was this like

01:00:18.100 crazy night and and there was this guy that was with us and he got separated from the group or

01:00:23.420 we did and the whole thing and then and he and every time we would get on the phone with him

01:00:27.120 and try to find him he he was just insulting like our intelligence okay and and and like all this 0.98

01:00:33.200 fucked up shit we were very mad at him and we were walking along and I was saying to Deirdre 0.99

01:00:36.660 you can't like when we see him like he's such an asshole that we cannot engage like he's gonna say 1.00

01:00:42.140 something that's gonna make us insane like we just like get in the car with him and the other people 0.99

01:00:46.200 yeah just get home and he's gonna say stuff like we just cannot we cannot like it's just

01:00:51.100 it's like a rat flying in our face like we just do not engage okay and i'm like telling her this

01:00:58.720 i'm convinced i've got it under control yeah i've probably talked i've probably told this story i

01:01:04.340 i don't know okay and no you haven't we get there i see him okay we're like a block away we're

01:01:09.660 walking up okay we're getting closer and closer and i'm like georgia georgia like please georgia

01:01:14.760 okay just like breathe and like go somewhere else in your head okay and he's like glad to see you 0.99

01:01:21.340 dumb bitches finally found your way or something okay no yes like the most like ridiculous thing 1.00

01:01:27.160 that literally there was definitely like dumb and bitches and like him him blaming us when like 1.00

01:01:31.580 literally he had been to blame you know okay yeah yeah and um and i go um immediately okay 1.00

01:01:38.540 it sores out of me i don't want to see your fucking face 0.99

01:01:42.640 oh my god oh my god i don't want to see your fucking face but wait jacqueline this conversation 1.00

01:01:55.500 and i texted you from the uber after i yelled at the man and i because remember we talked about 0.99

01:02:00.360 some pook in Turks and Caicos we were in the airport we were mad at the at that gross because

01:02:04.940 like that guy who was like the one guy not wearing his mask the young guy who was like flirting with 0.95

01:02:10.060 the babes and he was so disgusting what was my fantasy I was gonna say to him you're gonna say 0.99

01:02:14.180 what's your mother's number because I want to call her and tell her her son's a pig or something but 1.00

01:02:18.180 it wasn't that it was no no I think it was it was like what's your fuck it was like it was like oh 1.00

01:02:22.940 no I forgot what it was there's something about calling his mother to tell her she's a whore or 1.00

01:02:26.680 something oh yeah yeah yeah yeah that's what yeah oh no it was like can I get your mom's number I 0.97

01:02:32.120 forgot oh no what was it we have to like go back into the poog channels to find it because I was

01:02:38.160 proud of you guys hear me because something horrifying has just happened with my computer

01:02:41.600 that I've never seen and Jacqueline's frozen this could be the way we go out you know Jacqueline

01:02:47.400 frozen me next to my chilling breakfast burrito I'm still recording just when the technology fails

01:02:55.380 it's it's a reminder it's an important reminder that I'm not in the room with my friend

01:03:01.240 Italy has taken her Italy has taken her away from me in many ways but

01:03:08.220 now the way that it has taken her is so pronounced and she's actually disappeared now

01:03:14.480 she's gone from frozen to gone so I hear here I am alone this might be the first time I 1.00

01:03:19.560 sign off a poog alone um i just want to say no i uh i here i have my phone i have my phone here 0.99

01:03:29.200 balanced on my alkaline water jug i want to make it clear i'm ending all plastic consumption okay 0.99

01:03:35.220 we'll talk about that later um okay uh i love you jacqueline wherever you are in italy i love you

01:03:40.660 Poog Hags. We'll see you soon.

01:03:45.480 That was Poog. If you enjoyed Poog, please subscribe, rate, and review. If not, we will press charges.

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01:04:30.340 You know Roald Dahl.

01:04:31.860 He thought up Willy Wonka and the BFG.

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01:04:46.760 It must have been.

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Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - October 18, 2022

Buttering the Shoe

Episode Stats

Transcript