Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - Careful… You’ll Rust

00:00:00.000 This is an iHeart Podcast.

00:00:02.720 Guaranteed human.

00:00:04.680 You know Roald Dahl.

00:00:06.120 He thought up Willy Wonka and the BFG.

00:00:08.680 But did you know he was a spy?

00:00:11.000 In the new podcast,

00:00:12.400 The Secret World of Roald Dahl,

00:00:13.900 I'll tell you that story and much, much more.

00:00:16.800 What?

00:00:17.640 You probably won't believe it either.

00:00:19.380 Was this before he wrote his stories?

00:00:21.080 It must have been.

00:00:22.480 Okay, I don't think that's true.

00:00:24.520 I'm telling you.

00:00:25.820 The guy was a spy.

00:00:27.040 Listen to The Secret World of Roald Dahl

00:00:29.340 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

00:00:32.080 or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:00:35.160 Hello, it's me, Anna Sinfield,

00:00:37.460 the host of The Girlfriends.

00:00:39.080 I'm back with more one-off interviews 0.98

00:00:41.320 with some truly kick-ass women 0.98

00:00:43.640 on The Girlfriends Spotlight.

00:00:46.560 I'm going to climb this.

00:00:48.900 Is badness hereditary?

00:00:50.840 Let's see how we can stop killing.

00:00:53.660 I'm not too intimidated by her.

00:00:55.100 What are you talking about? 1.00

00:00:59.340 Listen to The Girlfriend Spotlight on the iHeartRadio app, 1.00

00:01:02.740 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:01:09.280 Crook and Chase Nashville chats with the true-life adventures

00:01:12.260 of hot new country star Hudson Westbrook.

00:01:14.200 Early in his career, he shocked his mom more than once,

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00:01:22.060 I've seen some people do some crazy things, but nothing like that.

00:01:24.940 Plus, what Hudson almost had in common with Billy Bob Thornton.

00:01:28.320 Crook and Chase Nashville Chats with Hudson Westbrook

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00:01:33.440 Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts

00:01:36.340 Then she says, have you seen a photo of my son?

00:01:40.700 And I'm like, who is this person?

00:01:42.560 Welcome to the Boys and Girls Podcast

00:01:44.540 Arranged marriage is basically a reality show

00:01:47.440 And you're auditioning for your soulmate

00:01:49.520 And who's judging?

00:01:51.380 Only your entire family

00:01:52.660 I sacrificed myself to this ancient tradition

00:01:55.460 Hoping to find love the right way

00:01:57.680 And instead, I found chaos, comedy, and a lot of cringe.

00:02:01.880 Listen to Boys and Girls starting February 19th on the iHeartRadio app,

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00:02:08.400 When you feel uncomfortable, what do you put on?

00:02:11.380 Biggie.

00:02:12.140 You put on Biggie when you feel uncomfortable?

00:02:13.600 Because I want to get confident.

00:02:14.640 This is DJ Hester Prince's Music is Therapy,

00:02:17.240 a new podcast from me, a DJ and licensed therapist.

00:02:21.340 12 months, 12 areas of your life.

00:02:23.760 Money, love, career, confidence.

00:02:25.820 This isn't just a podcast.

00:02:27.680 It's unconventional therapy for your entire year.

00:02:31.380 Listen to DJ Hester-Prince's Music is Therapy

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00:02:39.360 Hi, I'm Kate Berlant.

00:02:40.840 I'm Jacqueline Novak.

00:02:41.960 And this is POOG,

00:02:43.100 an ongoing conversation about wellness

00:02:45.100 between two obsessive friends,

00:02:46.680 two untameable intellects.

00:02:48.460 This is our hobby. 0.79

00:02:49.300 This is our hell.

00:02:50.160 This is our naked desire for free products.

00:02:52.200 This is POOG.

00:02:53.860 Today's topic, loosely speaking,

00:02:55.920 COG casters.

00:02:57.680 Let your whistle. 0.95

00:03:02.020 Ding dong.

00:03:03.380 It's me.

00:03:05.100 Thank God.

00:03:06.080 Where is it?

00:03:06.560 It's me.

00:03:07.060 I know.

00:03:07.400 Thank God we have this weekly time.

00:03:09.380 Today is one of those...

00:03:11.820 I was thinking about this phrase you hear,

00:03:14.780 waking up on the wrong side of the bed.

00:03:17.200 Okay, I have a lot to say about that.

00:03:18.400 Go on.

00:03:19.900 I think today is one of those days for me

00:03:23.420 where I can't really point to anything

00:03:27.000 it just

00:03:29.000 is one of those days where

00:03:30.460 everything feels impossible in this way

00:03:32.660 where I could imagine myself

00:03:33.940 burning huge bridges

00:03:36.420 like

00:03:39.940 there's like that radiating anger

00:03:42.960 but then I also realized

00:03:45.040 am I hungry

00:03:46.240 you know it's like the eternal

00:03:48.580 woman thing 0.85

00:03:50.740 you ready for this 1.00

00:03:51.500 do you want to burn bridges

00:03:53.720 are you telling yourself it's not hunger

00:03:55.880 it's I could really because secretly

00:03:58.140 that's what you want or not secretly unconsciously

00:04:00.180 I guess. No I really don't think so

00:04:02.080 I think it's like it's like a mood thing

00:04:04.180 I really feel that it's like

00:04:06.180 it's like maybe

00:04:08.080 it's that simple I'm sitting here in this moment going

00:04:09.900 did I just not have enough lunch

00:04:11.960 because I'm not someone who's in danger of not having

00:04:14.100 lunch enough lunch. You didn't

00:04:16.080 know. I don't restrict

00:04:17.500 yeah so it's like

00:04:20.120 I just. You didn't know the moment

00:04:22.100 you woke up

00:04:22.780 I woke up on...

00:04:25.020 It was post-lunch that you decided

00:04:26.720 perhaps you had gotten up on the wrong side.

00:04:29.140 A little something was off

00:04:30.740 maybe earlier.

00:04:33.040 And then, I don't want to be clear,

00:04:34.860 it's just, it's not

00:04:36.780 one, I'm just, I'm not sailing today.

00:04:39.380 Yeah.

00:04:40.180 I usually sail a little bit every day.

00:04:43.060 Yeah. I'm not sailing, but

00:04:44.800 I have done the unthinkable

00:04:46.680 and profoundly.

00:04:50.780 It's only been two days, okay?

00:04:52.160 okay but two days at a time i've heard oh yeah lowered my caffeine

00:04:58.100 i have lowered my caffeine intake massively unimaginable for me multiple energy drinks a day

00:05:09.860 coffee coffee coffee espresso espresso espresso well this is the thing that i constantly like

00:05:15.780 right now i'm like oh did i have too much caffeine is that is it just too much caffeine

00:05:19.680 is that creating the anxiety

00:05:21.940 the anger

00:05:22.400 the agitation

00:05:23.100 the irritation

00:05:23.900 well the question

00:05:25.560 I mean

00:05:26.040 we've both spoken of this before

00:05:27.940 I mean

00:05:28.280 the first question

00:05:29.540 the doctor asks you

00:05:30.880 when you go in

00:05:32.700 for anxiety

00:05:33.640 how much java

00:05:34.740 okay you want to get treated

00:05:35.640 for anxiety

00:05:36.120 how much coffee

00:05:36.800 and you just go like

00:05:38.180 well doctor

00:05:38.940 we're not going to talk about

00:05:40.140 like that's not

00:05:40.940 hands off my java

00:05:42.060 doc

00:05:42.660 yeah

00:05:43.240 and it's like

00:05:43.980 the first line of defense

00:05:45.640 that we refuse

00:05:46.580 I think

00:05:47.900 well dehydration

00:05:49.000 Because you sail.

00:05:50.260 Oh, right.

00:05:50.520 I remember you told me that anxiety is caused by dehydration.

00:05:52.980 Actually, I thought about that the last few days.

00:05:54.740 No, I've heard this.

00:05:55.880 I heard this once 10,000 years ago.

00:05:58.620 The leading cause of one of the leading causes of anxiety is dehydration.

00:06:03.600 I mean, that would explain my entire life and a lot of my family members because no one drinks enough water.

00:06:10.120 Except for my father who drinks so much that his potassium levels, you know, he had that whole thing.

00:06:16.420 Drinking too much water.

00:06:17.160 Where the doctor was like, your potassium levels are low, something like that.

00:06:20.980 And then he measured, I told you, in Excel, he wrote down every sip and he figured it out.

00:06:24.520 And he realized that when you're working out and every time you're thirsty,

00:06:28.220 that you don't have to chug an entire thing.

00:06:30.820 He said, it's actually about wetting your whistle.

00:06:34.400 Sips, little sips throughout the day.

00:06:36.420 Yeah.

00:06:36.660 Or like thirsty, wet your whistle.

00:06:38.580 Remember they used to say, this was like 2003.

00:06:42.060 Are you ready?

00:06:43.160 If you're thirsty, it's already too late.

00:06:45.100 you're already dehydrated

00:06:47.720 do you remember that

00:06:48.440 no it's true

00:06:49.740 I'm going to reach for water

00:06:50.780 so hard to reach for the glass sometimes

00:06:55.040 I'm at one liter today

00:06:58.680 what

00:06:59.300 minimum two liters per day they say

00:07:01.580 well I also

00:07:03.580 you know what else I heard

00:07:05.040 I can't wait to bring this up

00:07:06.440 I think I sent you a post

00:07:08.000 water's fat for you

00:07:09.980 what do you mean

00:07:11.560 okay straight up

00:07:13.200 okay straight up

00:07:14.060 Not this thing about overhydration and, you know, you got to get your mineral levels correct.

00:07:20.000 They were like, no, water is bad for you.

00:07:24.360 What do you mean?

00:07:25.320 That's amazing.

00:07:25.760 Okay, now let me see if I can try to remember because it was exciting. 0.83

00:07:28.520 Well, I once heard an elderly British woman be like, chastise someone for drinking too much water and being like, careful, you'll rest. 0.93

00:07:39.160 Oh, okay. 0.59

00:07:41.460 Interesting.

00:07:41.900 Interesting. 0.85

00:07:44.980 Too much water in there will rust over.

00:07:47.320 By the way, I don't even think about this because I won't open this door.

00:07:50.920 But this morning I did go, is there a mold in my house?

00:07:54.420 Because, you know, I rent.

00:07:55.740 I think of you every time.

00:07:57.620 And I'm just like, oh, this is such an old house.

00:08:01.240 My landlord, I don't know where the hell he is.

00:08:05.160 Yeah, yeah.

00:08:05.940 He lives somewhere.

00:08:07.340 I met him once and never saw his face again.

00:08:10.380 Kate, I did a TikTok trend cleaning strategy.

00:08:15.540 What was it?

00:08:16.520 Didn't work.

00:08:18.060 What was the strategy?

00:08:19.380 Vinegar?

00:08:19.800 You know, I'm trying to learn the vinegar thing.

00:08:21.640 Well, yeah.

00:08:22.500 So they go,

00:08:22.960 I haven't tried yet.

00:08:23.480 You've seen this TikTok viral cleaning hack, okay?

00:08:27.160 And it's toilet paper

00:08:28.540 and you soak it in either bleach or vinegar.

00:08:31.560 They clean both work, okay?

00:08:33.140 And you're disgusted

00:08:33.920 because you're like,

00:08:34.680 toilet paper falls apart in the fingertips, right?

00:08:36.640 Yeah, yeah, sure.

00:08:37.280 Yeah.

00:08:37.820 I mean, it does,

00:08:38.640 but there's a reason.

00:08:40.040 And it needs to be light as a feather, okay?

00:08:41.440 Because once it's wet and then you put it along the caulking, okay?

00:08:46.680 I have to say that word carefully.

00:08:48.420 Okay, the caulk in the shower.

00:08:50.440 And so I'm sure the grout too, the grout too, but whatever.

00:08:53.200 Caulk and grout.

00:08:54.600 Caulk and grout, never the two shall meet or they meet constantly,

00:08:58.100 but the two are almost interchangeable in my mind.

00:08:59.940 They meet at every right angle of every tile.

00:09:03.020 Okay.

00:09:05.520 So the little wet pieces, you could stick that against the grout

00:09:09.500 and it's light enough

00:09:10.220 and then you leave it 24 hours, okay?

00:09:13.000 And so in I go.

00:09:14.340 And what, it's supposed to like whiten it?

00:09:15.960 Like totally, is that the idea?

00:09:17.480 Kill all mildew, everything 0.82

00:09:19.260 and peel off every little piece of paper.

00:09:24.980 And what happened?

00:09:25.700 No change visible. 1.00

00:09:28.020 Yeah, shit. 1.00

00:09:29.460 And so you're like paper mache-ing the bathroom wall? 1.00

00:09:31.800 Yes.

00:09:32.120 And toilet paper.

00:09:33.040 Oof.

00:09:33.860 Not the whole wall.

00:09:34.660 I was just trying to do along the tub line.

00:09:37.360 You know, the corner.

00:09:38.420 There are some ants that I coexist with in my shower.

00:09:43.480 Really?

00:09:43.580 And this is what's confusing.

00:09:45.040 Sometimes when I go in there, I'll see little flecks.

00:09:48.100 It's like they're eating.

00:09:49.640 Ew.

00:09:50.180 I'm talking about two ants.

00:09:52.620 Yeah.

00:09:53.220 There are never two, as we know.

00:09:54.480 There's always 75 million.

00:09:55.960 Right.

00:09:56.320 But I've only visibly, I'm only seeing two.

00:09:59.520 Sometimes I'll cruelly drown them, take water up, drown the two of them.

00:10:03.180 I go, what am I supposed to do?

00:10:03.780 Send them down the drain?

00:10:05.080 Send them right down the drain.

00:10:06.140 Okay.

00:10:06.340 They're ants.

00:10:06.780 I've never seen more than two at a time

00:10:09.280 I'm not kidding

00:10:09.880 Some of them are baby

00:10:11.620 Baby ants

00:10:12.480 Ew

00:10:12.720 Coexisting with ants

00:10:14.560 A lot of people do it

00:10:16.180 And I'm fine with it

00:10:17.740 I don't need them dead

00:10:18.540 I mean I had a battle with a roach

00:10:20.600 That was

00:10:21.120 I tried to trap a spider

00:10:22.840 I woke up

00:10:24.360 And saw inside my blind

00:10:26.220 It's hard to describe

00:10:26.840 But let's just say I saw a spider that was

00:10:28.440 Yeah

00:10:29.140 Terrifying

00:10:30.500 Huge, crunchy

00:10:31.300 Ew 0.98

00:10:32.360 Thick bodied

00:10:33.460 Wet

00:10:34.600 Well

00:10:34.860 I know the kind

00:10:36.560 I ran into one actually two days ago

00:10:38.340 and we'll talk about that in a moment.

00:10:39.620 And I'll just say I trapped it.

00:10:42.160 Where the hell is it orange?

00:10:43.280 This one had a little red on it.

00:10:45.800 And I trapped it going,

00:10:47.360 I'm going to deal with this later.

00:10:48.920 I can't deal with this now.

00:10:50.340 Actually, we did that once.

00:10:52.280 What?

00:10:52.540 Do you remember at a hotel

00:10:53.260 you courageously put a glass

00:10:56.040 topside down,

00:10:58.240 a top like a roach or a spider

00:10:59.900 that was in your bathtub?

00:11:00.640 Was I with you?

00:11:01.820 Yes.

00:11:03.060 I do remember that.

00:11:04.280 It was at our big vacation.

00:11:08.360 Oh my God, that's right.

00:11:09.400 I trapped it.

00:11:10.460 There was a big like...

00:11:12.020 Well, I didn't want to kill it.

00:11:14.240 I'm going to figure this out.

00:11:15.120 The courage was astonishing.

00:11:16.120 Thank you.

00:11:17.340 I created a trap.

00:11:19.740 I was like, the spider can't get out of this.

00:11:21.900 Left the house.

00:11:23.200 Had a day.

00:11:24.160 Come back six hours later.

00:11:26.340 Oh no.

00:11:27.040 Spider's gone.

00:11:28.060 Yeah, spider's...

00:11:28.760 Yeah. 0.98

00:11:29.720 So I should have killed it on sight because it was, as I said, thick. 1.00

00:11:34.280 bodied 1.00

00:11:34.960 pregnant likely

00:11:36.880 well you know 0.98

00:11:38.020 my whole thing

00:11:38.420 I'm always trying

00:11:39.120 to grab

00:11:39.420 a heavy vase

00:11:40.360 and then the

00:11:41.360 bottom

00:11:42.140 of the vase

00:11:42.940 is concave

00:11:43.740 and so it doesn't

00:11:45.480 I mean

00:11:46.720 you don't want

00:11:47.180 to feel the death

00:11:48.000 I know you have

00:11:49.240 one of those

00:11:49.620 spider catchers 0.89

00:11:50.620 right

00:11:51.400 I know

00:11:51.840 for safe release

00:11:52.920 it's fabulous

00:11:53.560 I must have

00:11:55.120 spoken on Poog

00:11:55.680 about that

00:11:56.300 a huge palmetto bug

00:11:57.840 crawled into my home 0.99

00:11:59.200 and leapt onto my face

00:12:00.260 flew

00:12:00.660 I'm not sure

00:12:02.360 okay maybe

00:12:03.180 we didn't get to this

00:12:04.280 It, watching TV, I always believe like, I don't know.

00:12:08.300 I believe I'm safe on the couch.

00:12:09.720 Yeah.

00:12:10.120 You're going to see something.

00:12:10.960 It's going to be like in the corner or whatever.

00:12:14.540 Yeah.

00:12:15.080 And to feel the flutter and the weight.

00:12:18.780 On the face.

00:12:19.920 And I, you know, I scream, there's a roach on me.

00:12:22.580 Okay.

00:12:22.940 Of course.

00:12:23.400 A roach just flew on me because I felt it.

00:12:25.640 I hit my head and then like, don't know where it is.

00:12:28.200 The worst part of all.

00:12:29.760 Yeah.

00:12:30.280 And second to having it on the face, I guess.

00:12:33.180 maybe not the worst.

00:12:35.120 So I scream,

00:12:36.960 a roach just flew in my face.

00:12:39.720 You know,

00:12:39.860 Chris says they don't fly.

00:12:41.480 Okay.

00:12:41.780 Some of them do.

00:12:42.680 It flew on my face.

00:12:43.780 We hop up,

00:12:44.600 we hunt,

00:12:45.240 we pull back the sofa.

00:12:47.300 He finds it,

00:12:48.800 you know,

00:12:49.040 he gets it.

00:12:50.420 And I immediately Google and yeah,

00:12:53.100 they can fly like a hundred meters at full adult.

00:12:57.400 Oh,

00:12:58.620 it's anyway,

00:13:01.200 it flew on me,

00:13:01.680 whatever.

00:13:01.860 For me, it's always been about sealing up the home, okay?

00:13:05.260 It's all about, if they can't get in, they can't get in.

00:13:08.860 End of story.

00:13:10.580 Not, whatever.

00:13:12.620 But you don't want to be...

00:13:13.860 Too much, but...

00:13:14.620 How are you with open doors?

00:13:17.340 Well, I dream of them, of course.

00:13:19.260 Yeah.

00:13:19.920 Well, I have a screen door.

00:13:21.440 Well, there you go.

00:13:22.040 The screen has been gnawed or, you know, it's been clawed to death by the neighbor cats.

00:13:26.580 But...

00:13:27.100 I got to install a screen.

00:13:28.660 I will say...

00:13:29.520 Yeah, you need a screen.

00:13:30.200 I will, you get one of those hideous, I've done it, those hideous, not that hideous.

00:13:35.020 It's like a piece of fabric mesh that hangs with a magnetic thing for your dog to run in and out.

00:13:40.500 Anyway, you can get that in a pinch.

00:13:41.860 Yeah.

00:13:42.920 But the neighbor cat, actually, little gentleman, he knew that Chris and I, I guess, were suffering and that this bug situation was happening, despite the screen not, like, the door was not open.

00:13:54.640 He came running, like, when the roach thing was happening.

00:13:58.040 And he was at our window.

00:13:59.980 No.

00:14:00.940 Yeah.

00:14:01.300 He knew you were in distress.

00:14:02.740 God, that's cool.

00:14:03.700 The way they know.

00:14:05.120 Where are you with watching sharks on the internet?

00:14:08.360 Like.

00:14:09.040 It's been a while.

00:14:09.820 Does it scare you?

00:14:11.020 I was watching some great white, some, you know, people in shark cages interacting with

00:14:16.800 great whites.

00:14:17.880 And you were like, you could do it? 0.98

00:14:18.620 They're really scary.

00:14:19.720 Oh, I thought you were on the verge.

00:14:22.620 Of wanting to cage dive with them?

00:14:24.120 No.

00:14:24.380 Yeah.

00:14:25.060 The agility of the great white as it swims.

00:14:27.800 Mm.

00:14:28.100 I didn't realize it had that kind of dexterity in its body and tail.

00:14:31.600 I certainly didn't either.

00:14:32.920 I thought they were sort of clumsy. 0.96

00:14:34.560 I kind of pictured, oh, it's a school bus with teeth and it's going to kill you. 0.97

00:14:39.620 Exactly. 0.98

00:14:40.420 It's like sensual.

00:14:42.140 It's movements.

00:14:43.040 Like it's completely agile.

00:14:44.660 I am shocked.

00:14:45.560 Okay.

00:14:45.760 If they called it the agile white, I mean, it's not. 1.00

00:14:49.800 Great white makes it think.

00:14:51.180 It's like just a whale.

00:14:52.700 It's like a rollicking spine.

00:14:55.520 I couldn't believe it.

00:14:56.500 yeah it's like it's graceful which i didn't know like watching it like yeah someone told me

00:15:03.280 recently they go scuba diving in uh what's the place near here catalina say the water's crystal

00:15:12.740 clear oh yeah it's best kept secret okay i've been wanting to go snorkel there and and he's he's like

00:15:20.320 you know yeah you might see a shark okay not a great white okay but not like a joke like there's

00:15:26.000 this like oh that's a tiger shark you always hear this kind of like tiger sharks they kill

00:15:29.600 like i think there's some in between and he's like like you know the whole thing is you it's

00:15:34.280 something like like you hit you hit him between the nose like you know sure oh yeah you know

00:15:38.920 there's something like you punch him in the nose i've heard that you can get him off you

00:15:42.660 like you can battle like you can get him off you like and i don't know i don't have that fight in

00:15:50.360 me yeah i don't have that dog in me to fight a shark um it rips your arms off so you can't even

00:15:59.440 do the classic waving for help you're just a head bobbing in the ocean screaming i remember

00:16:04.060 learning this thing with like a white water rafting thing where it's like when you're in

00:16:07.660 the water like if you're okay you raise a fist if you're like in danger you raise a hand it's

00:16:14.740 Something like that.

00:16:16.260 And I can't remember which it is.

00:16:17.620 How about just scream?

00:16:19.060 Just scream for dear help.

00:16:20.780 And then...

00:16:21.540 That's a code.

00:16:22.180 That's a kind of universal code.

00:16:24.480 I lost a hat to a river once.

00:16:26.720 Have I told you this?

00:16:27.740 Romantic.

00:16:28.200 I'm sure I have.

00:16:29.680 Yeah.

00:16:30.080 I was in a whitewater rafting trip thing.

00:16:34.440 And we're in these two-person sort of canoes.

00:16:38.840 And we flipped.

00:16:42.500 Imagine being flipped.

00:16:44.740 And you're still seated.

00:16:46.800 And then, yeah, yeah.

00:16:47.580 Well, that's the true help, right?

00:16:49.180 To be trapped.

00:16:50.200 But then we were released, quickly released.

00:16:52.840 And then I am, what are the words?

00:16:56.800 I am being dragged, hitting my feet.

00:17:01.200 My legs are hitting rocks, scraping against rocks.

00:17:05.420 I'm scrambling, okay, like for my life.

00:17:09.640 This is like a trip for teens, you know what I mean?

00:17:12.480 I can't even believe a company

00:17:15.720 is that so committed

00:17:17.960 to children

00:17:19.740 experiencing

00:17:20.660 nature that they're willing

00:17:23.740 to take on those legalities

00:17:25.500 I mean you sign away

00:17:26.280 imagine the paperwork

00:17:27.600 thick paperwork

00:17:30.300 to be the counselor

00:17:31.280 and one goes down

00:17:33.880 insane

00:17:35.060 can't imagine

00:17:36.220 so I'm getting

00:17:38.560 I don't even know what I managed

00:17:42.040 a claw on to find my... Okay. And eventually I'm saved. Hat gone. And I was like a sacrifice to

00:17:50.600 the river. Yeah, hat gone. Yeah, yeah. No, it's best that took your hat. It's my brother's hat.

00:17:55.300 It's like my brother's, like a baseball hat. Can you believe it? Can you believe me and the river?

00:18:00.160 No, I can't.

00:18:00.860 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:18:14.720 It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea.

00:18:19.920 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Trainor, disappeared from a commune.

00:18:23.940 It was hard to wrap your head around.

00:18:25.280 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:18:28.940 No, I am not your guru.

00:18:32.680 And back then, I lied to my parents, I lied to police, I lied to everybody.

00:18:37.560 There were years right where I could not say your name.

00:18:40.540 I've decided to go back to my hometown in Northern California,

00:18:43.220 interview my friends, family, talk to police, journalists, whomever I can,

00:18:47.100 to try to find out what actually happened.

00:18:49.400 Isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods and not the obvious boyfriend?

00:18:53.720 They have had this case for 30 years. 1.00

00:18:56.740 I'll teach you sons of bitches. Come round here and my wife. 1.00

00:18:59.920 Boom. Boom. This is The Red Weather. 1.00

00:19:04.180 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:19:11.940 Hello, it's me, Anna Sinfield, from The Girlfriends,

00:19:15.360 the number one hit true crime show that puts women right in the center of their own stories.

00:19:21.820 I'm back with more one-off interviews 0.97

00:19:23.940 with some truly kick-ass women on The Girlfriend's Spotlight. 1.00

00:19:28.860 I want to introduce you to Sylvia. 0.97

00:19:31.380 I'm going to climb this.

00:19:33.740 And then there's Vaisaka.

00:19:35.860 Let's see how we can stop killing and save lives.

00:19:39.980 Leila dared to ask the question.

00:19:42.440 Is badness hereditary?

00:19:44.480 And finally, we'll meet Rosamund.

00:19:46.280 If it wasn't for the year where Ella lived,

00:19:49.220 She wouldn't have died on that fatal night.

00:19:52.360 You'll even get to meet my mum in that one,

00:19:54.080 who I can always count on to keep my feet on the ground.

00:19:57.140 I'm not too intimidated by her.

00:19:58.540 What are you talking about? 1.00

00:20:01.460 Listen to The Girlfriend Spotlight

00:20:03.300 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

00:20:05.840 or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:20:12.920 Crook and Chase Nashville chats

00:20:14.500 with the true-life adventures

00:20:15.900 of hot new country star Hudson Westbrook.

00:20:17.800 Early in his career, he shocked his mom more than once, and we even shocked him on what we had to do to get to visit with him.

00:20:25.680 I've seen some people do some crazy things, but nothing like that.

00:20:28.580 Plus, what Hudson almost had in common with Billy Bob Thornton.

00:20:32.480 Crook and Chase Nashville Chats with Hudson Westbrook.

00:20:35.080 Listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

00:20:41.380 Ever feel like you're being chased by the marriage police?

00:20:43.940 Welcome to Boys and Girls, the podcast where dating isn't dating.

00:20:49.240 It's a full-on love triathlon.

00:20:51.840 A morning what-if, an evening maybe, and a 3pm chai with a could-this-please-be-the-one.

00:20:58.740 Because in the arranged marriage universe, you're basically on a sushi conveyor belt.

00:21:02.840 And like raw fish, you've got a shelf life.

00:21:06.500 And the wild part? You're not just looking for someone you like.

00:21:09.680 You're casting for a mythical hero your entire family approves of.

00:21:13.360 a saint, a demigod, a unicorn.

00:21:16.520 I know because years ago I sacrificed myself

00:21:19.160 to this chaotic, soul-crushing tradition

00:21:21.360 hoping to find love the correct way.

00:21:24.320 Boys and Girls is our absurd, cringy, heartfelt ride 1.00

00:21:27.560 through the highs and lows of the Indian arranged marriage, 0.96

00:21:30.500 finally giving you the validation and healing you deserve.

00:21:34.780 Listen to Boys and Girls starting February 19th

00:21:37.500 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts

00:21:39.920 or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:21:43.360 you're a rock climb huh like i mean hi you're a rock climbed no have you ever wait kate have

00:21:55.320 you ever rock climbed sorry no have you literally never rock climbed because i can see you on the

00:22:02.520 wall i've been on the wall indoors i've been on an indoor wall and that's gonna be like you

00:22:07.100 scrambling it's coming back i saw a new wall coming in around town around my side of town

00:22:11.580 it. I could imagine an afternoon,

00:22:13.920 but it's not a habit you can truly build.

00:22:15.800 That's insane. You mean like to go to the...

00:22:17.600 I do an indoor rock climbing gym once a week. I guess

00:22:19.580 people do do that.

00:22:21.380 And I think there is some satisfaction of like, I made it

00:22:23.620 up there in three minutes flat and like...

00:22:25.500 Yep. That's not... By the way, I'm

00:22:27.540 actually going from being kind of...

00:22:29.720 I'm now like, I have to do that.

00:22:31.940 I'm actually fully committed. I'm thinking

00:22:33.600 it's three times a week and it's you and me together.

00:22:36.040 Yeah. Imagine.

00:22:37.260 So I'm climbing, climbing, climbing on.

00:22:39.880 Oh, so I have rock climbed.

00:22:41.580 that's a memory

00:22:42.580 it's a visceral memory

00:22:43.300 would you trust me

00:22:43.680 down at the bottom

00:22:44.400 yeah

00:22:45.140 well the real question

00:22:45.860 is 2 ADD

00:22:47.440 when you hang up top

00:22:48.920 2 ADD

00:22:49.740 people

00:22:50.520 now

00:22:51.380 rock climbing

00:22:52.000 some would argue

00:22:52.580 they shouldn't

00:22:53.300 but

00:22:54.240 we are gifted

00:22:55.500 we are good in

00:22:57.460 the ADD

00:22:58.520 brain style

00:22:59.300 is good in

00:23:00.200 high intensity

00:23:01.940 yeah

00:23:02.640 it locks

00:23:03.540 the

00:23:04.120 F in

00:23:05.340 yeah

00:23:06.580 like you're number one

00:23:08.440 yeah

00:23:09.260 and you're like

00:23:09.740 like have you ever been

00:23:11.100 an emergency like a call an ambulance kind of situation where like you rose to the top and no

00:23:16.060 one expected it because i sure have actually no but i have heard that people with crushing anxiety

00:23:21.400 ocd add usually in a crisis actually manage well because life is just a constant crisis in hell

00:23:27.200 they're screaming at all times when someone's actually screaming you go i don't know what to

00:23:30.520 do here yeah the regular types regular you know it's no longer a relevant word but

00:23:35.240 the mid-level anxiety yeah yeah tear or whatever they they fall apart I was thinking about you

00:23:44.140 actually last night because I was thinking about how it's surprising to me that you don't just when

00:23:51.580 you're sitting in your home in the evening if you live in a city you don't just hear people

00:23:55.400 screaming constantly I was like it's amazing that it's amazing that like you think about madness

00:24:01.720 right I'm not I mean yeah what does that even mean whatever sure but sure it's amazing people

00:24:07.020 aren't running down the streets at full speed screaming constantly what is that now is it

00:24:16.240 evolution are we I just meant meaning the density of people so if you're like okay I'm around x

00:24:22.280 thousand people yeah how many are having a breakdown right now and why are a third of

00:24:26.960 those on the street which would yeah why aren't they quite a bit it's amazing people aren't running

00:24:30.240 out of their house, their homes, screaming constantly. They're not just like constantly

00:24:33.960 hearing people running, screaming at top speed. Yeah. And you mean, you mean just to the gods,

00:24:39.280 right? You don't mean running from somewhere. Just to the gods. No, I mean, I'm talking about

00:24:42.160 existential horror and just the intensity of being alive. Because every now and then I feel like I

00:24:46.220 zoom out and I'm like, the intensity of daily life or just of being, and then I'm not even

00:24:52.620 talking about ancestral stuff. I'm not even talking about your grandmother screaming through you. I'm

00:24:57.120 talking about just the raw nerve of being alive yeah and 11am kind of amazing people aren't just

00:25:03.220 constantly ripping their clothes off and screaming well yeah and is that an evolutionary thing of

00:25:09.300 like we're just used to it whereas that's why babies scream so much because they're just

00:25:14.440 whenever i hear them i am i hear that i hear the truth you get it no i know i hear them scream i

00:25:19.860 hear the truth let me think of you yeah and i'm like i know and you you know you'll find your way

00:25:25.480 well that's what's hard

00:25:26.760 the baby's screaming

00:25:27.620 and then you learn

00:25:28.500 don't scream constantly

00:25:29.940 don't cry constantly

00:25:31.020 right

00:25:31.660 but it is

00:25:32.520 I'm just sort of amazed

00:25:33.920 that

00:25:34.220 people aren't

00:25:35.560 well

00:25:35.840 screaming in the streets more

00:25:37.220 in horror

00:25:38.180 and ecstasy

00:25:39.360 did you have a

00:25:40.240 don't make a scene

00:25:41.180 kind of like

00:25:41.980 ethos growing up

00:25:43.280 at all

00:25:43.960 no

00:25:45.060 I mean not

00:25:45.340 maybe there weren't any

00:25:46.360 it was just

00:25:47.660 I didn't have a don't make a scene

00:25:48.900 I was

00:25:49.340 I was naked at my

00:25:50.480 you know

00:25:50.840 birthday parties

00:25:51.520 everyone else dressed

00:25:52.200 so

00:25:52.580 if I

00:25:53.660 if I

00:25:54.820 Yeah, like if I if I get into an argument, I instantly do not care that I'm in a restaurant like I like.

00:26:03.340 Oh, yeah, you're just in it. That's cool.

00:26:04.800 And if and if the person and if the person like, I guess, in the argument with me goes there, I mean, but again, this is just when my rage, you know, because I'm not my rage is so buried that it usually is completely absent.

00:26:18.860 So if it's coaxed out even a little bit, if you get one arm out, the whole body follows.

00:26:23.840 I'm like yeah yeah yeah oh yeah I mean maybe not I don't know I think I have degrees but there's a

00:26:30.660 feeling of I don't care about those people like you know what I mean like I don't care if they

00:26:35.240 hear us yeah that's because our lives are destroyed you know what I mean or whatever like

00:26:40.860 it's like part of like it's part of like making the point or something is like you believe so 0.98

00:26:45.840 hard that you're willing to destroy the neighborhood oh well there was a goddamn fire 0.89

00:26:50.120 There was a fire, okay, in the parking area attached to my apartment, essentially. 0.98

00:26:59.520 And boy, was it exciting.

00:27:01.340 No one was hurt, of course.

00:27:02.600 How much fire?

00:27:04.060 How many flames?

00:27:05.380 Well, obviously no one was injured.

00:27:07.940 It wasn't serious.

00:27:09.560 Can you imagine?

00:27:11.160 Eight dead.

00:27:12.240 Yeah.

00:27:13.460 No, it was just a gentle fire.

00:27:15.960 But it was, you know, I just love the way it unfolds in time.

00:27:20.880 So I'm sitting on my couch and I hear one neighbor saying another neighbor's name.

00:27:25.620 It just starts away and it sounds different.

00:27:28.520 Just hear the name a couple of times and it sounds different.

00:27:31.960 Don't you love that?

00:27:33.100 You know what you know.

00:27:35.760 And you know when it's not, when it's different.

00:27:39.080 You know it.

00:27:39.320 You don't know what you know until it's different.

00:27:41.200 That's when you realize we're animals.

00:27:43.020 You can sense it instantly.

00:27:44.720 That's when you go.

00:27:45.260 That's the thing.

00:27:45.740 You know what I mean?

00:27:46.280 All this.

00:27:46.660 That's one of your...

00:27:47.380 Well, that's what we're actually afraid of.

00:27:48.740 It's not that we don't know.

00:27:49.780 It's that we know.

00:27:53.020 Well, I mean, yeah.

00:27:54.420 If you...

00:27:55.860 I'm going to make brownies tonight.

00:27:57.880 We keep going.

00:27:58.940 Really?

00:27:59.920 Yeah.

00:28:00.900 In a non-toxic bakeware?

00:28:03.380 I'm doing a grain-free, refined sugar-free brownie.

00:28:06.900 I laugh.

00:28:07.580 I scoff at you for refined sugar-free.

00:28:10.240 Well, you would have...

00:28:11.220 No, it's maple syrup.

00:28:12.120 I just mean...

00:28:13.400 Maple syrup, at least, comes from, you know, the tree.

00:28:16.460 Yeah.

00:28:17.280 The language of the refined sugar.

00:28:20.660 No, sugar is sugar.

00:28:21.460 Well, I heard this and I went, uh-oh.

00:28:23.780 But it's like, your body doesn't know the difference between, you know, Snickers and

00:28:27.540 orange or whatever.

00:28:29.140 I've been telling you this for years.

00:28:31.220 You've been telling me that, but here's the thing.

00:28:32.560 No, you have been telling that for years, but here's why I don't fully buy it.

00:28:35.100 The orange has vitamins, has minerals.

00:28:37.660 Of course.

00:28:38.160 So there's got to be, of course, it's a difference.

00:28:40.480 In terms of difference.

00:28:41.860 Not in terms, yeah, there we go.

00:28:43.400 See, I'm learning.

00:28:44.380 I'm learning.

00:28:45.660 By the way, guess what I'm starting to do?

00:28:47.460 Really trying to get religious about the vinegar before meals.

00:28:50.900 Oh, yeah.

00:28:51.280 It's supposed to reduce the effect.

00:28:54.180 The glucose spikes.

00:28:54.940 And I want to be clear to everyone listening.

00:28:58.140 Chocolate cake is supposed to reduce the effect on spikes.

00:29:00.460 This is not diet culture.

00:29:02.460 I want to be clear.

00:29:03.040 No.

00:29:03.660 This is about glucose spikes that's causing inflammation.

00:29:06.240 Yep.

00:29:06.440 And rapid aging.

00:29:07.560 Aging beyond your wildest fears.

00:29:09.720 So wait, did someone else teach you?

00:29:12.640 No.

00:29:12.860 Oh, this is my own private research.

00:29:15.180 It's my private research.

00:29:16.220 So this is saying, have the bowl of pasta,

00:29:18.540 have the ice cream sundae.

00:29:20.060 Do this first and it just won't inflame you as much.

00:29:24.040 Yes, it's live your life.

00:29:26.160 Which is exciting, which is a thrill.

00:29:27.640 And add these tweaks that-

00:29:29.220 Apple cider vinegar.

00:29:30.220 The mood, the spikes, the mood, the whole thing.

00:29:35.460 Yeah, and it is kind of, yep.

00:29:37.720 I saw a thing about someone

00:29:40.320 carrying a little vinegar with them.

00:29:42.500 I saw that.

00:29:42.920 We got to get serious about what we're carrying.

00:29:45.080 In a dropper?

00:29:45.540 Maybe.

00:29:45.960 Is that what you saw?

00:29:47.100 No.

00:29:47.260 Is that the apple cider vinegar pills?

00:29:49.320 Easy to take before a meal.

00:29:50.220 Well, that's the question.

00:29:51.380 But are they dissolving before the other food?

00:29:54.100 Trust me. 0.98

00:29:54.620 I think you got to shoot it. 1.00

00:29:56.140 You got to treat it.

00:29:56.820 I think they're going to show up on menus now as...

00:30:00.380 Oh, by the way, I was at our favorite restaurant.

00:30:03.940 Okay.

00:30:05.040 I had a major encounter at JAR.

00:30:07.000 Yeah, wait.

00:30:07.440 Tell me now.

00:30:08.380 Tell me now.

00:30:09.120 Okay.

00:30:09.840 It was really special.

00:30:11.580 Okay.

00:30:11.740 Walk me through it.

00:30:12.460 I have not been there in many months.

00:30:16.200 I don't know.

00:30:16.500 Like the last time we went and I was coming off a long work day and I said, you know what?

00:30:21.360 Let's stop.

00:30:23.120 Let's stop at JAR.

00:30:24.560 Okay.

00:30:24.900 Are you alone?

00:30:25.580 One of the...

00:30:26.060 No, with Chris.

00:30:26.740 Okay.

00:30:27.140 He picked me up somewhere.

00:30:28.140 We're coming back.

00:30:28.760 I'm going, you know what I need?

00:30:30.360 Okay.

00:30:30.740 And I'm going, what if we went to JAR right now?

00:30:33.840 And I'm one of the great, what if we went to a restaurant right now, people.

00:30:37.240 Oh, what about reservations?

00:30:38.360 Let's check.

00:30:39.040 I bet they're available.

00:30:39.980 And by the way, reservations?

00:30:41.740 I'm here to say, I'm going to explore this further.

00:30:45.040 Yeah.

00:30:46.720 A myth, a modern myth.

00:30:49.460 Like, do you mean there's a table?

00:30:53.160 I mean, there's a table.

00:30:54.900 Someone's not showing.

00:30:56.400 You're at the bar.

00:30:58.280 Well, first of all, I was prepared.

00:31:00.580 I'm getting braver because I'm such a reservationist.

00:31:03.080 Yes.

00:31:04.000 And so it's really hard for me to imagine.

00:31:07.160 It's scary, I know.

00:31:08.420 To not have the reservation.

00:31:09.680 but lately I'm going

00:31:10.840 and some of these places

00:31:12.240 the most sought after reservations

00:31:14.520 the easiest

00:31:16.400 I'm not kidding

00:31:17.780 you mean 8pm is

00:31:19.860 the places that go

00:31:20.560 good luck getting in there at 7

00:31:22.560 everyone's trying

00:31:24.320 everyone's thinking that

00:31:25.240 okay this is

00:31:26.760 yeah there was a principle about this

00:31:28.520 like yeah

00:31:30.880 it's like

00:31:31.360 don't shoot for the middle

00:31:33.120 because that's where

00:31:34.120 you have the most competition 1.00

00:31:35.320 oh damn 0.99

00:31:36.060 whatever 1.00

00:31:36.440 shoot for the top 1.00

00:31:37.360 bitch 1.00

00:31:37.900 they were like 1.00

00:31:38.520 they were like

00:31:39.260 In the thing, it was like, no one's talking to the babe in the room

00:31:43.160 because everyone thinks they can't have her.

00:31:45.900 And so she's alone.

00:31:47.560 And then you sidle on up.

00:31:50.180 Yeah.

00:31:51.000 Hey, y'all.

00:31:51.920 Well, that's classic.

00:31:53.360 But I'm interested in this.

00:31:55.760 So I was prepared.

00:31:57.880 I go, if it means eating at the bar, it means eating at the bar.

00:32:00.540 We're driving there.

00:32:01.620 We're headed there.

00:32:02.240 I decide I'll check open table, whatever.

00:32:05.100 I'll check resi, whatever they had.

00:32:06.840 and I go

00:32:07.860 well I even thought about

00:32:09.060 texting the owner

00:32:09.680 but then you know

00:32:10.620 because we have that contact

00:32:11.840 yeah

00:32:12.280 but that seemed like

00:32:13.120 maybe just try first

00:32:14.500 yeah yeah sure sure

00:32:15.760 so I get there

00:32:17.280 and I have to accept

00:32:18.760 I have to talk myself down

00:32:20.220 from like

00:32:21.180 wanting to tell the waiter

00:32:22.380 you know 1.00

00:32:24.180 who the fuck I am 1.00

00:32:26.020 maybe you've heard the word 0.99

00:32:26.800 poo thrown around here 1.00

00:32:28.160 yeah okay 0.77

00:32:29.100 so

00:32:30.800 I'm like

00:32:32.100 it's not about that

00:32:33.340 I'm

00:32:34.460 that's not why I'm here

00:32:36.840 I don't have to make a comment

00:32:38.040 when I order the lychee martini

00:32:39.280 or whatever.

00:32:40.060 Okay.

00:32:40.780 So I settle in

00:32:42.720 and I go,

00:32:44.960 okay, lychee martini

00:32:45.680 is back on the menu.

00:32:48.200 That's because of us.

00:32:50.040 I want to say we had a request.

00:32:52.280 Direct.

00:32:53.160 I received a text

00:32:54.120 from the chef

00:32:55.100 for putting it back on the menu

00:32:56.800 because of Pug.

00:32:58.300 So I want to just make that clear.

00:33:01.460 So I go in,

00:33:03.440 I sit down.

00:33:04.460 I actually ordered

00:33:05.200 a different cocktail.

00:33:05.960 I'm trying to remember what it was.

00:33:06.840 It was delicious, okay?

00:33:08.620 But I'm pleased to see the lychees there.

00:33:10.780 Now, I glance around the room just almost for us. 1.00

00:33:15.300 Like to have the meta experience and crack a joke.

00:33:19.720 Like to Chris, like, you know what I mean?

00:33:21.160 Like shocking no one's here.

00:33:22.540 And walking through this, how packed is it?

00:33:23.900 It's actually quite full.

00:33:25.340 Love?

00:33:25.900 I would say it's quite full,

00:33:27.040 but there are like two tables next to me that aren't.

00:33:29.200 She sat in the exact place like you and me.

00:33:31.780 Okay.

00:33:32.080 Sit in the kind of corner often.

00:33:33.360 and we prepare our order

00:33:36.240 the whole thing

00:33:36.960 and I do happen to catch

00:33:39.980 in my glance around 1.00

00:33:41.580 four women 0.87

00:33:44.020 four lychee martinis

00:33:46.220 well here we go

00:33:48.200 I go and I'm not gonna

00:33:49.640 stare and I'm not gonna assume

00:33:52.280 my influence is present

00:33:53.600 okay

00:33:53.980 and I go on

00:33:58.300 with my meal 1.00

00:33:59.260 and I'm like there's no way they're hags 1.00

00:34:01.680 or they would have flagged my ass 1.00

00:34:03.240 I was like, or maybe their level of, you know, they're just so fucking chic that they don't even need it. 0.99

00:34:12.820 Midway through the meal, a lychee martini arrives at my table. 0.90

00:34:17.780 You start crying. 1.00

00:34:19.180 And the waiter says, care of some hags. 1.00

00:34:22.160 Okay. 1.00

00:34:22.380 Unbelievable.

00:34:23.540 Unbelievable.

00:34:23.860 Okay. 0.98

00:34:24.320 I glance my ass over there and start like, you know, cheering and like, just like loving it. 0.98

00:34:30.300 Okay. 0.98

00:34:30.500 And then get up and walk over.

00:34:32.500 Yeah, of course.

00:34:33.240 You pay for their meal.

00:34:34.340 Yeah.

00:34:34.500 Okay.

00:34:35.280 Held back just at that,

00:34:36.840 just at that level.

00:34:37.760 Right.

00:34:38.300 But anyway,

00:34:39.260 they were fabulous.

00:34:40.180 They're like,

00:34:40.400 hi, Chris.

00:34:41.140 Okay.

00:34:42.200 You know what I mean?

00:34:43.400 Like they know it all.

00:34:44.540 They know it all.

00:34:45.980 And we chatted

00:34:47.180 and it just,

00:34:49.020 it was,

00:34:49.960 I don't want to be clear.

00:34:50.760 Always say hello.

00:34:52.460 Never feel that we don't want that.

00:34:54.500 Oh,

00:34:55.360 heaven.

00:34:55.660 I think I'm going next week.

00:34:57.620 Oh,

00:34:57.940 wow.

00:34:58.360 Yeah.

00:34:59.480 You and I are due.

00:35:00.700 It was,

00:35:01.420 for a jar.

00:35:01.960 To go to a restaurant, I mean, I like all versions, but I guess, yeah, I think my favorite

00:35:07.140 is kind of last minute go to a restaurant because it feels...

00:35:11.860 Oh, how liberated.

00:35:13.920 Wild free.

00:35:15.020 Wait, right now?

00:35:16.120 It's erotic.

00:35:16.800 It's really decadent.

00:35:18.380 Yeah, we're going now.

00:35:19.840 It's like a Tuesday night, you know?

00:35:22.520 Yeah.

00:35:22.820 It's like...

00:35:23.960 It's five o'clock you go.

00:35:25.600 Let's go now.

00:35:26.740 I guess it's more erotic if it's seven.

00:35:28.320 And particularly on the way home from just nothing.

00:35:33.040 You know what I mean?

00:35:34.620 Like mid-drive to pivot to a restaurant.

00:35:37.360 Yeah.

00:35:37.980 What if we rolled by?

00:35:39.500 And am I wrong?

00:35:40.300 And it's so exciting.

00:35:43.120 Doesn't Jar have a hot fudge sundae on the dessert menu?

00:35:47.480 I think they do.

00:35:48.940 I can't remember because I feel like I would have clocked that.

00:35:52.300 I know.

00:35:52.900 Even if I'm not getting dessert, I like to look at the menu.

00:35:56.060 I might be getting Sunset Tower.

00:35:57.420 or I might be having like my wires crossed.

00:35:58.940 Oh, they do.

00:35:59.640 They do.

00:35:59.980 They have the iconic one.

00:36:01.600 I've just been really formally lodging that in

00:36:04.260 as my favorite dessert.

00:36:05.540 I saw a sandwich.

00:36:06.460 They had something that was seasonal.

00:36:08.700 What was it?

00:36:10.140 You know, like one of their sides or something

00:36:11.840 that was like,

00:36:12.960 oh, oh, oh, kabocha squash related.

00:36:17.520 Which by the way,

00:36:18.300 one of like the sweeteners that I like

00:36:20.720 comes from the kabocha squash.

00:36:22.620 It's called bokeh sweet.

00:36:23.880 And now I make it bokeh sweet

00:36:25.440 and I just like kabocha.

00:36:27.420 Yeah, I'm not sure.

00:36:57.420 No, I am not your guru.

00:37:00.800 And back then, I lied to my parents, I lied to police, I lied to everybody.

00:37:05.660 There were years, Ryder, where I could not say your name.

00:37:08.460 I've decided to go back to my hometown in Northern California, interview my friends, family, talk to police, journalists, whomever I can, to try to find out what actually happened.

00:37:17.520 Isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods and not the obvious boyfriend?

00:37:22.100 They have had this case for 30 years. 0.96

00:37:24.860 I'll teach you sons of a** to come round here and my wife. 0.89

00:37:28.040 Boom, boom. 0.97

00:37:29.380 This is The Red Weather.

00:37:32.280 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app,

00:37:34.940 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:37:40.060 Hello, it's me, Anna Sinfield, from The Girlfriends,

00:37:43.480 the number one hit true crime show

00:37:45.800 that puts women right in the center of their own stories.

00:37:49.920 I'm back with more one-off interviews 1.00

00:37:52.060 with some truly kick-ass women on The Girlfriend's Spotlight. 1.00

00:37:57.000 I want to introduce you to Sylvia. 0.97

00:37:59.480 I'm going to climb this.

00:38:01.860 And then there's Vaisaka.

00:38:03.980 Let's see how we can stop killing and save lives.

00:38:08.080 Leila dared to ask the question.

00:38:10.560 Is badness hereditary?

00:38:12.600 And finally, we'll meet Rosamund.

00:38:14.720 If it wasn't for the year where Ella lived,

00:38:17.540 she wouldn't have died on that fatal night.

00:38:20.480 You'll even get to meet my mum in that one,

00:38:22.200 who I can always count on to keep my feet on the ground.

00:38:25.240 I'm not too intimidated by her.

00:38:26.640 What are you talking about? 1.00

00:38:29.580 Listen to the Girlfriend Spotlight on the iHeartRadio app, 1.00

00:38:33.020 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:38:41.000 Crook and Chase Nashville chats with the true-life adventures

00:38:44.020 of hot new country star Hudson Westbrook.

00:38:45.960 Early in his career, he shocked his mum more than once,

00:38:49.060 and we even shocked him on what we had to do to get to visit with him.

00:38:53.800 I've seen some people do some crazy things, but nothing like that.

00:38:56.700 Plus, what Hudson almost had in common with Billy Bob Thornton.

00:39:00.600 Crook and Chase Nashville Chats with Hudson Westbrook.

00:39:03.200 Listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

00:39:09.480 Ever feel like you're being chased by the marriage police?

00:39:13.480 Welcome to Boys and Girls, the podcast where dating isn't dating.

00:39:17.100 It's a full-on love triathlon.

00:39:20.000 A morning what-if, an evening maybe,

00:39:23.080 and a 3pm chai with a could-this-please-be-the-one.

00:39:26.840 Because in the arranged marriage universe,

00:39:28.740 you're basically on a sushi conveyor belt.

00:39:31.000 And like raw fish, you've got a shelf life.

00:39:34.620 And the wild part?

00:39:36.100 You're not just looking for someone you like.

00:39:37.940 You're casting for a mythical hero your entire family approves of.

00:39:41.640 A saint, a demigod, a unicorn.

00:39:43.960 I know because years ago, I sacrificed myself to this chaotic, soul-crushing tradition, hoping to find love the correct way. 1.00

00:39:52.440 Boys and Girls is our absurd, cringy, heartfelt ride through the highs and lows of the Indian arranged marriage, 1.00

00:39:58.620 finally giving you the validation and healing you deserve. 0.94

00:40:02.940 Listen to Boys and Girls starting February 19th on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:40:13.960 So my new thing is for years it was up, up, up, right?

00:40:21.240 It's antidepressant trying to at all times make sure I have the most caffeine in me

00:40:27.200 to be fighting off drowsiness, whatever, whatever.

00:40:30.680 Now I'm hunting for the opposite.

00:40:35.100 Okay, so I went to a natural food store.

00:40:39.300 Natural downers.

00:40:40.340 and i yeah and i am my eyes are are passing over all the energy drinks and you want valerian root

00:40:48.720 searching for the word calm calm elf yeah and i'm like i don't really want the ones that have

00:40:59.680 like a true psychoactive in it like i don't want like okay i forget i'm like confused i'm like

00:41:06.180 We're in Los Angeles and it says like THC on the can in the store.

00:41:11.080 I'm like, what?

00:41:11.640 I know, it's confusing.

00:41:12.220 I'm like, oh, I guess that's, I don't want that.

00:41:14.680 But I want like, oh, adaptogens, that whole thing you're talking about with the mushrooms.

00:41:20.880 And I was like trying to remember which way it was.

00:41:22.660 I'm like, do these relax you?

00:41:23.720 Do these lift you?

00:41:24.480 Or do they like get you right where you need to be?

00:41:27.900 I'm here.

00:41:28.780 I'm doing it all.

00:41:31.100 Can you believe?

00:41:32.000 What are you doing?

00:41:32.440 This is going to be a whole new life.

00:41:33.620 What do you mean you're doing it all?

00:41:34.440 I'm pulling out

00:41:35.880 all the mushroom supplements

00:41:37.040 okay

00:41:37.300 I'm fixing up these

00:41:38.940 these brews

00:41:40.020 and I'm a little like

00:41:41.100 sloppy with it

00:41:42.180 like it's a little tea

00:41:43.240 it's a little powder

00:41:44.040 I'm sort of

00:41:44.640 a little out of control

00:41:45.360 so what's going in there

00:41:46.320 and then

00:41:47.600 and then I'm frothing up

00:41:49.480 almond milk

00:41:50.620 right now

00:41:51.400 I'm sprinkling a little

00:41:52.560 cinnamon on there

00:41:53.380 I think there's like

00:41:54.040 what are some like

00:41:55.040 there's definitely like

00:41:55.980 ashwagandha

00:41:56.800 yeah

00:41:57.700 mixed in

00:41:58.800 there's like

00:41:59.180 and you know

00:42:00.660 I'll say

00:42:01.100 is it turmeric

00:42:01.840 or turmeric

00:42:02.580 it's turmeric right

00:42:04.440 turmeric well you're saying too but i think there's an r in there you're kidding this is

00:42:09.520 one of the great turmeric i mean turmeric i say turmeric is it turmeric should look it up

00:42:17.380 i chronically can't spell exercise correctly um there's an r oh my god it's turmeric

00:42:27.640 That's big, right?

00:42:29.240 That's sick.

00:42:30.120 I once heard a girl say basil and...

00:42:33.200 People do that. 0.69

00:42:34.060 It shocked me. 1.00

00:42:35.720 The Brits do that, I think. 0.52

00:42:38.220 Okay, she was not a Brit.

00:42:40.260 The Brits say veg instead of vegetable.

00:42:42.760 Kind of wild.

00:42:44.300 That's sort of sweet.

00:42:45.700 It's kind of cute.

00:42:46.480 It used to kind of rub me the wrong way, but now I'm into it.

00:42:53.160 Oh, yeah.

00:42:53.760 So I'm brewing up all my milk.

00:42:55.340 It's all over the place.

00:42:56.400 but the point is I'm like open and ready

00:42:59.500 and I want and I see them on the shelf now.

00:43:02.520 There's all these drinks for it

00:43:03.860 and I want them all.

00:43:06.040 Relaxation.

00:43:06.440 So if you put out a relaxation drink,

00:43:09.560 I'm listening.

00:43:10.620 Okay.

00:43:11.360 I was speaking,

00:43:12.540 this is tied to relaxation.

00:43:14.320 We're not known for our segues,

00:43:15.980 but I've been considering getting,

00:43:18.500 upgrading to a king size bed.

00:43:20.660 You know I did it.

00:43:22.640 And I'm not going to do this,

00:43:24.740 But I have been having these fantasies of the wall-mounted television in front of the bed.

00:43:30.500 I want to be clear.

00:43:31.940 I'm not going to do it for philosophical purposes.

00:43:34.900 Well, let's take a moment with it.

00:43:36.600 I've been thinking about, is that when your house becomes a home,

00:43:41.160 when you have the wall-mounted TV in front of the bed and you're drowning in a duvet?

00:43:49.340 Well.

00:43:51.180 And I want to be clear.

00:43:52.120 I'm going to say it again.

00:43:52.580 I'm not going to do it because it feels like drugs.

00:43:56.720 It feels like everything you don't stand for?

00:43:59.140 Oh, okay.

00:44:00.020 You're worried that you'll turn into...

00:44:01.640 I don't know, like the holy space of the bed and like, you know...

00:44:05.360 Sleep hygiene, they say.

00:44:06.680 Yeah, exactly.

00:44:07.620 That's where I'm reading.

00:44:08.660 That's where I'm praying. 0.99

00:44:09.640 That's where I'm having explosive sex. 0.99

00:44:12.220 Yeah. 0.96

00:44:13.520 No, they say nothing other than that.

00:44:15.240 That's not where I'm watching.

00:44:15.640 Yeah.

00:44:15.840 Yeah, totally.

00:44:17.180 And sleep, you know.

00:44:18.500 Yeah, and sleeping.

00:44:19.860 However, I'm exploring...

00:44:22.240 Okay, one thing I've been wildly overwhelmed by

00:44:24.320 in this life is the concept

00:44:26.460 of mounting a TV on the wall, okay?

00:44:28.780 And I...

00:44:30.220 Well, you don't do it yourself.

00:44:32.640 You have to get, like, a doctor in there.

00:44:33.960 To me, arranging for someone to do that,

00:44:37.740 hiring an engineering executive,

00:44:41.440 to find one of his best people to do it,

00:44:45.380 that's more stressful to me

00:44:46.880 than hacking at the wall myself.

00:44:48.420 Like, I'm more comfortable, like, just, like,

00:44:52.240 Like, like ordering it.

00:44:55.600 And I was actually thinking of attaching it to my shelves.

00:44:58.240 I feel like those will be a bit easier to drill into.

00:45:00.640 And I want an arm that can go every which way.

00:45:04.320 Oh, wow.

00:45:04.920 I want it up.

00:45:05.560 I want it down for my workouts.

00:45:06.660 When I do my workout videos, I like to have it at different heights,

00:45:09.800 depending on whether I'm standing or kneeling.

00:45:12.720 To me, that would be a massive upgrade.

00:45:16.960 What else am I, what else have I been yearning for recently?

00:45:19.760 There's been a lot.

00:45:20.580 I think I'm repainting the kitchen.

00:45:23.700 Oh, wow.

00:45:24.520 What color?

00:45:24.960 Yeah, it's based on deciding what color pots I'm interested in.

00:45:29.360 Wow.

00:45:29.880 Is that about that?

00:45:30.380 Wow, wow, wow.

00:45:31.140 Painting the kitchen around the pots?

00:45:32.160 The kitchen renovation is huge and mine is happening.

00:45:35.880 Really?

00:45:36.460 And by renovation, I don't mean actually.

00:45:37.940 I just mean getting like a new island.

00:45:39.900 Like a new...

00:45:40.800 Oh.

00:45:41.180 Some kitchen.

00:45:42.220 Not an island, but I need some new...

00:45:43.980 Yeah.

00:45:44.420 I need some more surfaces.

00:45:45.840 Even in a rental?

00:45:46.940 I'm afraid to...

00:45:47.800 There's a counter space over here.

00:45:49.640 Even in a rental?

00:45:50.300 It's affecting my lifestyle in my rental.

00:45:52.920 You're allowed to make that level upgrade in your rental?

00:45:56.800 Well, no, no, no.

00:45:57.340 I'm talking about buying like a separate item,

00:45:59.460 like a separate surface with storage to be chopping wildly.

00:46:03.900 The kitchen cart, the cart's not what you want.

00:46:07.240 Well, there was the obligatory one that everyone had.

00:46:12.100 Yeah, I had it.

00:46:13.380 You had it.

00:46:13.560 That costs $4 in breaks upon impact.

00:46:16.100 As soon as a knife hits it, it breaks.

00:46:18.120 The one thing that was good about it was strong casters.

00:46:21.820 Oh, I'm back on casters again.

00:46:23.760 What's a caster?

00:46:24.040 But every time I do this...

00:46:25.880 Huh?

00:46:26.240 What's a caster?

00:46:27.160 A wheel.

00:46:28.240 You're kidding.

00:46:29.920 You know, like, okay.

00:46:30.860 So it's a caster when it's like a ball with a thing around it and it rolls.

00:46:34.860 Picture a desk chair.

00:46:36.660 That's sort of a true caster.

00:46:38.420 Okay.

00:46:38.860 Right?

00:46:39.620 So...

00:46:40.220 I didn't know.

00:46:41.140 So I'm...

00:46:42.500 My life is basically mostly about attaching casters to things.

00:46:46.600 because I don't like

00:46:48.260 reaching down

00:46:49.200 and go,

00:46:49.480 okay,

00:46:50.260 and dragging something

00:46:51.020 towards me. 0.77

00:46:51.720 Drag. 1.00

00:46:52.120 I throw everything 1.00

00:46:52.780 on a caster.

00:46:53.620 It kind of,

00:46:54.660 it gets there quick.

00:46:56.500 Well,

00:46:56.860 I can't even believe

00:46:57.440 I forgot to say this.

00:46:58.960 A jar.

00:47:00.580 The chairs

00:47:01.120 are on casters.

00:47:03.140 They're on wheels.

00:47:04.280 There's no like

00:47:05.640 scoot,

00:47:06.700 scoot

00:47:07.040 trying to get out

00:47:08.520 of your chair.

00:47:09.420 God,

00:47:09.840 I want a steak

00:47:11.240 right now.

00:47:11.920 What did I,

00:47:12.580 oh,

00:47:12.740 I went for it

00:47:13.500 and had,

00:47:13.820 oh,

00:47:13.960 right,

00:47:14.120 I had the squash soup.

00:47:15.760 What else?

00:47:16.600 um my waiter was oh i didn't even finish my waiter was phenomenal but but he said

00:47:22.120 he goes it was funny he's like so i've never i've never like seen poog or whatever you know 0.99

00:47:27.880 what i mean he's like yeah he's like but you know i've got i've picked up the vibe okay and he's 0.93

00:47:32.820 like you know like feminist he's like feminist like i was like i was like sure you know what

00:47:40.600 i mean yeah yeah once you release the work and along belongs to you you know you know but but

00:47:44.940 But he was like, yeah.

00:47:46.000 So he's like, and I think he said, he may have said, I get three guests a week.

00:47:51.780 And I think he's, and he said, by guests, I mean like tables.

00:47:55.540 Oh my God.

00:47:57.320 Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

00:47:58.880 Because I'm pretty sure it wasn't months.

00:48:00.480 Because I'd be like, yeah, no, I think it was a week.

00:48:05.220 Okay.

00:48:06.220 I'm going to say this once, Jacqueline. 0.60

00:48:08.600 Yeah.

00:48:09.260 We're going to dinner at JAR before the end of the year.

00:48:12.020 That's what I'm saying.

00:48:13.540 Yeah.

00:48:14.560 I mean, if you really want to get me,

00:48:16.220 you could have me five times if you just said,

00:48:17.760 hey, I'm coming to pick you up.

00:48:19.240 Never forget that.

00:48:20.600 Just don't forget that that's an option.

00:48:25.120 Maybe we bookend it before tour and after tour.

00:48:27.580 That could be really great.

00:48:28.740 I was guessing that you were going to say something like,

00:48:31.040 if restaurants are listening and they haven't realized,

00:48:35.160 like right now we've essentially promoted only one.

00:48:38.060 Well, that too.

00:48:39.760 Okay.

00:48:40.540 Okay.

00:48:41.180 Get us in there.

00:48:43.140 Yeah.

00:48:43.800 Hey, we have the emotional tie to the joint.

00:48:47.040 Did you whiten your teeth?

00:48:48.320 Okay, this is huge.

00:48:49.360 What?

00:48:50.280 You did?

00:48:51.560 No, listen.

00:48:52.260 I know you were thinking about it.

00:48:53.260 I did one strip once.

00:48:56.720 Wow.

00:48:57.180 And you're seeing a difference?

00:48:58.660 I don't know. 0.98

00:48:59.200 I just saw them and I go, those might be whitened.

00:49:01.480 Now, did you get sensitivity? 0.74

00:49:03.740 N-O.

00:49:05.680 Are you serious?

00:49:06.740 Zero?

00:49:07.500 I don't want to say zero.

00:49:08.700 I want to say 0.5.

00:49:10.840 So essentially nothing.

00:49:12.140 0.5 out of?

00:49:12.680 10.

00:49:12.880 I mean they look gleaming

00:49:20.120 I'm gonna do

00:49:20.680 I was actually

00:49:21.220 I was planning on doing

00:49:22.320 another strip today

00:49:23.480 really

00:49:23.760 did you do bottom

00:49:24.800 yeah

00:49:25.220 yeah you did the whole thing

00:49:27.520 it was easy

00:49:28.540 because when I

00:49:29.500 when I was growing up

00:49:30.520 I was like

00:49:30.840 I did crest white strips

00:49:31.840 in high school

00:49:32.320 which was sick

00:49:33.180 because I was perfect

00:49:34.120 in every way

00:49:34.780 and

00:49:36.000 yeah

00:49:36.580 those things hurt

00:49:37.580 and they were sliding around

00:49:38.780 yeah

00:49:40.200 this brand

00:49:41.120 I'm forgetting the name of it

00:49:42.160 but um

00:49:42.880 Let's just say I got an Ed Erewhon.

00:49:46.000 Natural.

00:49:47.680 Well, you know, I had a nightmare situation.

00:49:50.140 So I take two trips to the store, right?

00:49:53.100 Both times I go to the store,

00:49:54.460 they're featuring a new drink in a refrigerator by the register.

00:49:58.860 Okay.

00:49:59.220 And both times I'm intrigued.

00:50:00.720 Yeah.

00:50:01.300 Okay.

00:50:01.540 Because there's collagen in it and I go,

00:50:03.200 and it's non-caffeinated.

00:50:04.280 So I go, okay, I'm going to try that.

00:50:05.620 I'm going to sip it on the way home.

00:50:06.960 I do it.

00:50:07.980 Next time, same thing.

00:50:09.660 Yeah, fun.

00:50:10.380 Then I go to the store.

00:50:11.840 I go, you know what?

00:50:12.880 Today, I'm going to get a six-pack.

00:50:15.100 Okay.

00:50:15.380 They sold me.

00:50:16.400 After two visits where I tried it at the checkout.

00:50:19.540 It worked.

00:50:20.300 Guess what?

00:50:20.800 Nowhere to be found in the store.

00:50:22.620 No one could find it in the store.

00:50:24.420 Ooh.

00:50:24.800 Can you imagine being a small business owner?

00:50:26.280 You hear this?

00:50:27.320 Yeah.

00:50:28.260 Yeah.

00:50:28.960 Tough.

00:50:29.480 So I am going to reach out to that specific brand.

00:50:33.220 Tell them what happened.

00:50:34.340 Tell them I will be promoting them heavily.

00:50:36.080 Say the brand now.

00:50:37.100 I can't remember. 0.99

00:50:38.200 Oh, shit. 0.99

00:50:38.880 They're having bad business this week, folks. 1.00

00:50:40.920 yeah it was devastating

00:50:43.340 but it was a sparkly drink

00:50:46.240 with collagen

00:50:47.300 and I would get a flavor that was strawberry peach

00:50:50.480 these are things I know

00:50:52.040 it was a tall sort of you know

00:50:53.680 skinny-ish can like many

00:50:55.360 drinks these days are

00:50:57.140 I have a life

00:50:59.860 update which is that

00:51:01.540 I got in a phone

00:51:02.400 oh wow

00:51:05.480 but the point is

00:51:06.840 it's huge okay

00:51:08.680 refusing to download Instagram

00:51:11.500 on the new phone.

00:51:12.800 If I want to use Instagram,

00:51:14.700 I have to power up

00:51:16.100 the old phone.

00:51:18.460 Okay, that's good.

00:51:19.680 And so far,

00:51:20.280 I've been doing it for

00:51:20.980 a couple weeks now.

00:51:23.480 Revolution.

00:51:24.700 Revolution.

00:51:25.560 You've been off for multiple weeks?

00:51:27.660 I've logged on to my old phone

00:51:29.340 to go,

00:51:29.800 but

00:51:30.960 revolution.

00:51:32.900 Where do you keep the old phone?

00:51:34.320 In my home.

00:51:35.860 To be clear,

00:51:36.280 it shouldn't be by your bed.

00:51:37.880 No, no, it's in the living room.

00:51:38.680 I will by the way

00:51:40.600 should be out back

00:51:41.800 I know it should be actually

00:51:42.660 a little outside

00:51:43.620 I will bring my

00:51:45.480 I will have Instagram

00:51:46.440 doing the poop tour of course

00:51:47.560 because we're going to need to

00:51:48.440 have access to 1.00

00:51:50.160 the hags and whatnot

00:51:53.200 but for general life

00:51:55.120 I really think Instagram

00:51:56.260 on the bad phone

00:51:57.180 the bad phone

00:51:57.800 that's in the living room

00:51:59.000 far away

00:51:59.500 yeah

00:52:01.060 I think it's

00:52:02.400 I'm interested in

00:52:04.120 what can I take outside

00:52:05.420 like

00:52:06.300 almost

00:52:08.060 latrine-esque. 0.70

00:52:11.240 Outhouse is the word I'm looking for.

00:52:12.860 Yeah, I said outhouse earlier.

00:52:14.020 You have to go outside in the middle of the night.

00:52:15.840 Oh, you did?

00:52:16.920 Go outside in the middle of the night 0.75

00:52:18.620 freezing to go do your dirty business.

00:52:21.800 No, there should be way more shame attached.

00:52:24.700 Absolutely. 0.99

00:52:26.000 Sick, sick behavior. 0.91

00:52:38.060 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:52:42.120 It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea.

00:52:47.300 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Trainor, disappeared from a commune.

00:52:51.300 It was hard to wrap your head around.

00:52:52.640 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:52:56.260 So no, I am not your guru.

00:53:00.040 And back then, I lied to my parents.

00:53:02.660 I lied to police.

00:53:03.940 I lied to everybody.

00:53:04.660 There were years, Ryder, where I could not say your name.

00:53:07.700 I've decided to go back to my hometown in Northern California,

00:53:10.600 interview my friends, family, talk to police, journalists,

00:53:13.400 whomever I can to try to find out what actually happened.

00:53:16.760 Isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods

00:53:19.660 and not the obvious boyfriend?

00:53:21.340 They have had this case for 30 years. 0.98

00:53:24.260 I'll teach you sons of **** to come around here and my wife. 0.97

00:53:27.320 Boom, boom. 0.99

00:53:28.620 This is The Red Weather.

00:53:31.640 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app,

00:53:34.100 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:53:37.700 hello it's me anna sinfield from the girlfriends the number one hit true crime show that puts women

00:53:45.960 right in the center of their own stories i'm back with more one-off interviews with some

00:53:51.980 truly kick-ass women on the girlfriends spotlight i want to introduce you to sylvia i'm going to 0.99

00:53:59.520 And then there's Vaisaka.

00:54:07.280 Leila dared to ask the question.

00:54:11.920 And finally, we'll meet Rosamund.

00:54:19.800 You'll even get to meet my mum in that one,

00:54:21.440 who I can always count on to keep my feet on the ground.

00:54:24.480 I'm not too intimidated by her.

00:54:25.880 What are you talking about?

00:54:26.840 Listen to the Girlfriend Spotlight on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. 1.00

00:54:56.840 almost had in common with Billy Bob Thornton.

00:54:59.840 Crook and Chase Nashville Chats with Hudson Westbrook.

00:55:02.420 Listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio app,

00:55:04.560 Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts.

00:55:08.680 Ever feel like you're being chased by the marriage police?

00:55:12.680 Welcome to Boys and Girls,

00:55:14.560 the podcast where dating isn't dating.

00:55:16.580 It's a full-on love triathlon.

00:55:19.180 A morning what if, an evening maybe,

00:55:22.320 and a 3pm chai with a could this please be the one?

00:55:25.740 Because in the arranged marriage universe, you're basically on a sushi conveyor belt.

00:55:30.260 And like raw fish, you've got a shelf life.

00:55:33.840 And the wild part? You're not just looking for someone you like.

00:55:37.200 You're casting for a mythical hero your entire family approves of.

00:55:40.880 A saint, a demigod, a unicorn.

00:55:43.900 I know because years ago, I sacrificed myself to this chaotic, soul-crushing tradition,

00:55:48.920 hoping to find love the correct way.

00:55:50.940 Boys and Girls is our absurd, cringy, heartfelt ride 1.00

00:55:54.920 through the highs and lows of the Indian arranged marriage 0.98

00:55:57.660 finally giving you the validation and healing you deserve

00:56:01.720 Listen to Boys and Girls starting February 19th

00:56:04.860 on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts

00:56:07.280 or wherever you get your podcasts

00:56:09.020 Journaled for three days, stopped

00:56:15.680 Oh

00:56:16.660 You know, like journaled in the morning for three days, stopped

00:56:19.300 well life-changing then stopped well by the way i was as we know journaling every morning for many

00:56:24.760 many years stopped i'll pick it back up yeah but and i was finally i've never been able to get past

00:56:31.140 three weeks for meditation like true tm i was doing it i was in it i was at are you ready for

00:56:38.380 this i was so into meditation i asked if there was an empty office i was in a work event i asked if

00:56:45.160 there was or not event there we go i the point is i asked if there was an i asked if there was

00:56:50.820 an empty office where i could meditate at around 3 p.m can you imagine this i go into an empty

00:56:56.040 office and i'm meditating in a foreign space can you imagine yeah yeah this is like the you gotta

00:57:02.460 do it at the airport and it was and i was really in it fell off completely i haven't meditated for

00:57:07.280 months today i wake up i go let's do 10 minutes this is where i talk about waking up on the wrong

00:57:12.820 side of the bed because I have the new phone, right? So I had to redownload a meditation timer

00:57:18.420 app. It asked me maybe one, it was like, oh, enter in your email. It was like one thing of

00:57:25.040 when it's like, we're not, you know, just one of those hellish things. And I started viciously

00:57:30.180 referring to the app in derogatory terms, blood pressure through the roof, anger levels at an

00:57:37.540 All-time high.

00:57:41.040 Eventually downloaded it.

00:57:42.720 Said, I can't do 20 today.

00:57:44.080 I can't go in that hard.

00:57:45.040 I did 10.

00:57:45.400 Still resented it during the meditation?

00:57:47.800 Does it chime at the end?

00:57:48.900 Yeah.

00:57:49.260 I've had that specific one, but I'm trying to-

00:57:50.900 Yeah, I like it.

00:57:51.560 I actually paid for the-

00:57:52.620 The dental chime?

00:57:53.320 I paid for the ear.

00:57:54.920 Wow.

00:57:56.080 Feels like it's going to the monks.

00:57:57.500 It's not.

00:57:58.680 Oh, yeah.

00:57:59.460 It feels like it's going to the monks.

00:58:01.540 I've experienced that.

00:58:03.080 I've been listening to like sleepy train stories at night.

00:58:05.520 There's so many on there.

00:58:06.780 You know I love a guided meditation at night.

00:58:10.280 And yeah, Sleepy Train.

00:58:13.320 There was a cat cafe you're going in.

00:58:15.360 They're talking about the different cats.

00:58:16.580 It was pretty cozy.

00:58:18.040 Well, cat cafes are real, you know?

00:58:20.440 I was watching.

00:58:20.880 Oh, I've been.

00:58:21.240 They're like often cat shelter.

00:58:22.820 I went to one in Japan.

00:58:24.000 Where you can go in, donate.

00:58:25.940 I was watching some seal rescue videos last night.

00:58:29.080 That was pretty sweet.

00:58:30.120 Explain.

00:58:30.460 People, you see like hordes of baby seals.

00:58:33.520 Oh, get rescued by seals?

00:58:34.120 Hordes of baby seals.

00:58:35.180 Oh. 0.99

00:58:36.100 Jumping, running, flapping around, looking insane, ridiculous. 0.98

00:58:40.080 So cute. 0.96

00:58:40.840 Running, running. 1.00

00:58:41.800 These guys, these like Brits. 1.00

00:58:44.300 The seals? 0.97

00:58:45.400 Oh, okay.

00:58:45.920 They go and they go that one.

00:58:47.360 They find one that has like net wrapped around it or cords.

00:58:51.240 They go, they pluck the baby seal out of the herd.

00:58:54.320 The baby seal's like freaking out.

00:58:56.560 Hold it down.

00:58:57.620 Snip their little necks out of the netting and they run away free.

00:59:02.240 Yes.

00:59:02.600 And they got this one who's a horrible cut.

00:59:05.180 like deep cut

00:59:05.980 into the baby seal's neck

00:59:07.060 yeah

00:59:07.480 some kind of netting

00:59:08.580 cut it through 0.99

00:59:09.620 the baby seal

00:59:10.460 turns around

00:59:11.340 looks at them

00:59:11.960 walks back toward them

00:59:13.180 this is unprecedented behavior

00:59:14.800 yeah

00:59:15.480 and like is hanging out

00:59:16.640 and like wraps

00:59:17.840 conceivably

00:59:18.420 two wings around it

00:59:19.420 yeah

00:59:19.740 a calf

00:59:20.580 and then I got really into

00:59:22.440 whale watching

00:59:23.460 rescue videos

00:59:24.400 they snip a whale

00:59:25.840 out of the net

00:59:26.480 the whale goes crazy

00:59:27.880 giving them a little show

00:59:28.840 of gratitude

00:59:29.300 oh my god

00:59:30.520 yeah

00:59:30.860 it's flipping and dancing

00:59:32.580 yeah

00:59:34.140 yeah

00:59:35.180 It's so crazy that what we've done to the earth.

00:59:40.440 Yeah.

00:59:40.720 Anyway, every now and then you zoom out, you go, not cool.

00:59:47.140 At least I think they've invented or not invented, but they've discovered like whatever,

00:59:51.000 like an algae that eats plastic or something.

00:59:53.100 Well, welcome to mycelium, folks.

00:59:54.780 Mushrooms.

00:59:55.260 Send that out.

00:59:55.760 Mushrooms, remember?

00:59:57.280 Mushrooms.

00:59:57.960 Some kind of mushroom.

00:59:59.180 Clean up an oil spill.

01:00:00.580 Yeah.

01:00:00.680 They go, here's an oil spill.

01:00:01.840 they put mycelium

01:00:02.800 some kind of mushroom on there

01:00:03.880 next to some

01:00:05.000 highly toxic product

01:00:06.080 toxic product

01:00:07.000 cleans up the oil spill

01:00:07.940 in six days

01:00:09.480 the mushrooms

01:00:10.940 do it in two 0.82

01:00:12.200 or whatever

01:00:13.060 there's something crazy

01:00:14.160 don't quote me 0.68

01:00:17.940 something crazy

01:00:20.040 I've been doing

01:00:22.100 lymph drainage

01:00:23.160 every day

01:00:24.020 basically

01:00:24.340 every time I shower now

01:00:25.320 it's worked into

01:00:25.940 the routine

01:00:27.220 I do gua sha

01:00:28.120 in the shower

01:00:28.640 so I too

01:00:29.660 have my gua sha

01:00:30.900 my stainless steel gua sha

01:00:33.320 okay

01:00:34.200 resting

01:00:35.160 in like one of those

01:00:36.940 shaving window things

01:00:38.140 it's like a mirror

01:00:38.920 oh yeah

01:00:39.700 I'm thinking of installing

01:00:40.520 both mirror and art

01:00:41.580 inside the shower

01:00:42.140 ooh art in the shower

01:00:42.760 that's fine

01:00:43.260 I need more stimulation in there

01:00:44.580 and

01:00:45.600 and mirror

01:00:47.280 mirror is cool

01:00:48.400 there's something kind of

01:00:49.440 ooh yeah mirror

01:00:50.280 interesting about the mirror

01:00:52.180 it's like

01:00:52.780 I don't know

01:00:53.940 like

01:00:54.220 I don't know

01:00:55.580 because the sensory experience

01:00:57.340 like sudsing up your hair

01:00:58.520 like

01:00:58.840 I feel like with a mirror

01:01:00.020 you're kind of like

01:01:00.900 more locked into the experience of like,

01:01:02.900 hey, look at me all sudsed up.

01:01:04.180 I don't know.

01:01:04.540 I think you're right.

01:01:05.400 Sounds fun.

01:01:06.620 I'm in search of the perfect glass.

01:01:08.420 For water?

01:01:09.600 For water throughout the day.

01:01:10.040 Guess what?

01:01:10.420 I've got it for you.

01:01:11.080 Generally speaking, what is the shape?

01:01:12.980 It's this.

01:01:13.380 You can say mason jar?

01:01:14.280 It's this.

01:01:14.680 All right.

01:01:15.120 Oh, you want something huge though.

01:01:17.460 You want like a huge glass.

01:01:18.960 All right.

01:01:19.180 That looks nice.

01:01:20.300 That's glass?

01:01:21.640 Mm-hmm.

01:01:22.020 Okay.

01:01:22.280 That looks about pretty good size.

01:01:23.300 I want a big one.

01:01:24.500 I want a big one.

01:01:25.360 Do you know what eight ounces is?

01:01:26.860 I kind of do.

01:01:27.660 Offhand?

01:01:29.040 Because it's not a lot.

01:01:30.380 It's not as much as you think.

01:01:32.640 Oh, it is not a lot.

01:01:33.680 Like eight ounces.

01:01:34.980 In a way that's liberating, they go, have eight ounces of water when you take this supplement.

01:01:39.720 They always.

01:01:41.520 Everything's mixed with eight ounces of water.

01:01:45.460 You've got a big mouth.

01:01:46.740 I think it's what the coffee machine spits out if it's spitting out like a single cup.

01:01:52.240 I think it's like, yeah, it's a small cup.

01:01:57.100 I'm not going to get into coffee

01:01:59.360 because we know what I'm going to talk about

01:02:00.520 but I'll just say

01:02:01.360 that my at-home coffee system

01:02:03.140 is so sublime

01:02:03.980 that I have no need

01:02:05.380 for artisanal coffee shops anymore

01:02:07.880 it's almost like I've made a sacrifice

01:02:10.720 because now I go

01:02:11.740 because I used to be like

01:02:14.160 I've got my home cup that I'm making

01:02:15.700 I'm like

01:02:16.080 oh but I want something

01:02:17.340 I want to go down the street

01:02:18.420 and get a real

01:02:18.920 I'm making a better cup of coffee

01:02:21.620 that they're making down the street

01:02:23.120 so I'm actually then

01:02:25.060 going to the coffee shop

01:02:26.700 just for community

01:02:27.560 and for the walk

01:02:28.420 because my product

01:02:30.680 at home is better.

01:02:31.900 Yeah.

01:02:33.300 No, no, no.

01:02:34.240 This is the risk

01:02:35.540 and you're going to have to figure out

01:02:37.420 what your walk involves

01:02:39.240 and if there's something else

01:02:40.920 at the cafe

01:02:41.520 you can get on board with.

01:02:44.720 But

01:02:45.120 we went down a rabbit hole

01:02:47.260 trying to decide

01:02:47.900 which espresso machine to get

01:02:50.140 and then I went off caffeine

01:02:51.200 and I was like,

01:02:52.280 still doing it.

01:02:54.360 Still doing what?

01:02:55.440 I'm not,

01:02:55.960 let's get real.

01:02:56.580 I'm not off caffeine.

01:02:57.800 Okay.

01:02:58.000 But at crisis moments,

01:02:59.760 I think there might be,

01:03:01.240 you know,

01:03:01.480 when I'm really trying to dial in.

01:03:03.280 Lowering the amount.

01:03:04.400 It might be worth looking at.

01:03:05.640 How many milligrams we got?

01:03:06.680 Because I'm like you now,

01:03:07.740 I'm doing two shots twice.

01:03:10.740 And that's a quattro or whatever.

01:03:13.040 Mm-hmm.

01:03:13.600 Yeah.

01:03:14.940 What many call a quad.

01:03:16.220 Quad.

01:03:17.200 Because I'll have double shot twice. 0.99

01:03:22.860 Americano. 1.00

01:03:23.700 God, it's good.

01:03:24.500 And how quickly do you... 1.00

01:03:26.580 Suck it down. 1.00

01:03:27.500 How quickly do you suck it down? 1.00

01:03:29.260 Yeah. 0.78

01:03:29.840 Quite quickly.

01:03:30.800 It's because it's not a lot of liquid.

01:03:32.500 That's the only reason I miss, you know, the full cup of joe.

01:03:37.780 Well, you could, but you could go Americano.

01:03:41.120 No, I'm making Americano.

01:03:43.520 Oh.

01:03:44.220 But even with the water, it's not a ton.

01:03:46.580 Like it's strong.

01:03:48.280 Yeah.

01:03:49.500 I'm back on a quest for ambient light at night.

01:03:54.300 I walk past windows.

01:03:55.580 I see ambiance in a home

01:03:57.760 and I go I cannot

01:03:59.580 live under the harsh lights.

01:04:01.980 It's quite simply everything.

01:04:04.620 Yeah.

01:04:05.280 Now do you have a light bulb? You stand by.

01:04:08.740 And if so I'd like

01:04:09.700 This is where I get I'm always like

01:04:11.680 I have to call my mom and ask her what's going on because

01:04:13.740 you need

01:04:15.520 the soft. She provides

01:04:17.640 your light bulbs. No no no she just provides

01:04:19.620 advice on lighting because she's a 0.98

01:04:21.580 lighting guru.

01:04:24.340 You need soft light.

01:04:25.580 Like you need not the brightest and you need warm versus cold.

01:04:28.360 Yeah, of course.

01:04:28.860 And he's not, you know, the LEDs and whatnot.

01:04:31.400 I mean, it's hell.

01:04:31.780 The LED is always cold.

01:04:33.600 Even when it's warm, it's cold.

01:04:34.620 You don't want blue.

01:04:34.920 You want. 0.98

01:04:36.540 Yeah.

01:04:37.060 Yeah.

01:04:37.700 Thinking about how I want to approach my Christmas tree this year.

01:04:41.340 You took the words right out of my mouth.

01:04:45.420 Okay.

01:04:45.960 It's time.

01:04:47.420 Start thinking.

01:04:48.220 By the way, because we're on the road.

01:04:49.360 What's your plan?

01:04:50.620 Because I was thinking I might get the Christmas tree right now.

01:04:55.580 like right before we go on the road

01:04:56.980 because we'll be home for a few days

01:04:58.340 to water it and such.

01:04:59.840 Oh, yeah.

01:05:00.920 Well, you've got an at-home partner 0.79

01:05:02.800 who can water it for you.

01:05:04.580 I hate to break it to you,

01:05:05.800 but for the last three years.

01:05:08.160 Okay.

01:05:08.700 When we had cats,

01:05:10.560 like at times when we first had kittens,

01:05:13.000 okay, we got into the artificial tree

01:05:14.800 because the kittens were trying to eat the real tree.

01:05:17.260 So cute.

01:05:17.680 I want to cry.

01:05:18.100 I spent a massive,

01:05:20.880 I don't know,

01:05:21.800 it was a couple hundred bucks.

01:05:22.420 Okay.

01:05:22.840 For some brand that I did the research online and found, it was like, yeah, fake tree, but they, like every single branch is not the same as every other branch.

01:05:33.440 Every branch is like an individual mold of a true branch.

01:05:37.620 And I'm sitting up, I'm getting excited talking about it.

01:05:40.160 Okay.

01:05:41.000 And it looks really good.

01:05:43.160 And it was, you know, there wasn't a fear of the kittens trying to eat the needles, the whole thing.

01:05:49.120 so the last two years

01:05:50.860 I've had the same lighting

01:05:51.920 going on

01:05:52.740 on the tree

01:05:53.220 I had to get it up

01:05:54.080 in a pinch last year

01:05:55.020 you're on the fake tree

01:05:56.540 yeah I leave the lights

01:05:57.820 I do

01:05:58.760 I'm really intense

01:05:59.620 about getting enough

01:06:00.380 lights on that tree

01:06:01.300 as you know

01:06:02.260 and even painting them

01:06:03.180 for the LED issue

01:06:04.080 the whole thing

01:06:05.200 getting it right

01:06:05.720 and so I left them on

01:06:07.900 two years ago

01:06:08.640 wrapped it up that way

01:06:09.940 and then bring it out

01:06:11.180 last year

01:06:11.920 and it's pre-lit

01:06:12.980 essentially

01:06:13.460 with my own lighting

01:06:14.600 they sell them pre-lit

01:06:16.120 no

01:06:16.840 I don't want

01:06:18.040 their questionable

01:06:18.880 lights anyway and then me having to cut them off when they eventually die yeah but i think this

01:06:25.460 year it's time for a new lighting no new lighting vision i gotta freshen it up and i'm because i

01:06:30.200 leave it up so long it becomes like i don't even see it yeah yeah wow wow this year i go like

01:06:37.100 winter white like for real it's weird you say that because i have i love that i think that's

01:06:41.200 really fun i have an artificial tree in my basement that i purchased one year that's silver

01:06:46.180 Yeah.

01:06:47.080 And you plug it in

01:06:47.820 and it's kind of white-ish silver.

01:06:49.180 It's pretty fun.

01:06:51.180 I have a mini somewhere that's...

01:06:53.640 I...

01:06:53.720 Yeah, I have actually been taken by

01:06:56.300 and maybe it's just finally time

01:06:57.980 to get multiple trees.

01:06:59.660 Okay.

01:07:00.380 But like the white ones

01:07:01.660 and then there's like

01:07:02.340 velvety purple ones

01:07:04.700 that are not cheap.

01:07:05.720 Like there's...

01:07:06.520 I haven't had a Christmas tree in a while.

01:07:08.740 Thanks.

01:07:08.960 And this year I'm buying.

01:07:10.240 Oh, yeah.

01:07:10.940 Full fern.

01:07:13.080 The scent.

01:07:13.840 Scent alone.

01:07:14.480 Well, that's why you need...

01:07:15.460 although although there are some there's a really good candle my mom always gets that i think i 0.70

01:07:21.400 know the candle and it fucking rolls yeah god it's good it's um there's one that kills it really 0.53

01:07:27.660 does it it really gives you that scent yeah and i'm thinking maybe i go wreath well you know i've 0.84

01:07:33.620 never in my life had a wreath and we talked recently about crafting them seriously imagine

01:07:39.400 if we got materials so fun well there it is we had hot cocoa together don't threaten me with

01:07:45.320 a good time okay hot cocoa together or maybe one of those specialty cocktails i was talking about

01:07:50.800 right i'll make them holiday because halloween has passed and i didn't make any with ghosts

01:07:55.660 holiday music cocktails holiday music making a read you know we have we have full

01:08:01.240 holiday music playlists i have exquisite holiday playlists okay

01:08:06.360 okay and we get in there and uh and the rest is history we build them i mean i

01:08:14.640 you could bring some like items

01:08:17.340 I could bring some items

01:08:18.120 wherever we're doing it

01:08:20.460 I bring some unexpected like crafting items

01:08:23.240 now here's a question

01:08:24.160 are we going like

01:08:26.020 are we going natural wreaths

01:08:29.040 decorated with nothing but lights

01:08:30.820 and other natural flowers

01:08:33.360 you know what I'm saying

01:08:34.420 like that whole thing

01:08:35.980 or is this

01:08:37.980 craft

01:08:39.540 normally I'd lean towards the craft version

01:08:42.900 now I'm leaning a little towards

01:08:44.500 the natural i'm leaning natural that smells like if i'm gluing a pine cone on that's fine

01:08:52.460 it's hard to say when you buy i remember seeing at a specialty market a beautiful wreath natural

01:09:00.580 a florist had made it 100 bucks oh wow god damn but when you think about it kind of thinking 30

01:09:07.320 right like i was thinking yeah yeah before actually doing the work you're like how can i 0.94

01:09:11.800 If a tree is 100, how can a thing that's the tiniest version of that not be?

01:09:18.080 Of course.

01:09:18.740 Of course.

01:09:19.880 I'm really excited about this.

01:09:22.080 Wow.

01:09:23.020 Yeah.

01:09:24.360 I think we're done.

01:09:26.200 Sure.

01:09:27.460 Okay.

01:09:27.940 Well, bye.

01:09:31.560 That was Pooge.

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01:10:06.860 Listen to the Girlfriend Spotlight on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

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01:10:53.060 Welcome to the Boys and Girls Podcast.

01:10:55.460 Arranged marriage is basically a reality show.

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Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - November 14, 2023

Careful… You’ll Rust

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