Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - February 11, 2025


No Precious Outcomes

Topics
time management Girl Scouts cookie selling experience grand gestures
Advil, The Musical Cheap, Fast, and Good

Episode Stats


Length

58 minutes

Words per minute

187.21

Word count

10,910

Sentence count

814

Harmful content

Misogyny

15

sentences flagged

Toxicity

136

sentences flagged

Hate speech

53

sentences flagged


Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
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00:01:49.700 two best friends both alike in dignity nurturing phantoms and courting the muse
00:01:57.240 the hag divines when something must die yes that was poog but this is huge the ego loves to seek
00:02:03.740 but never to find it was berlant and novak the whole time
00:02:07.940 boom yeah okay boom i ain't these myself boom oh yeah i say boom too wait do i because
00:02:19.860 naomi was like you always say boom yeah and i say boom too you could have got it from you yeah
00:02:25.060 if i'm trying to count dance moves like yeah so it's like so we go like one yeah yeah boom
00:02:29.540 ha whatever it's like boom every time it's not familiar to you because they said expensive
00:02:33.600 They said to me, they were like, I say, by the way, a lot.
00:02:37.140 Almost like I said, by the way, that's not familiar to you.
00:02:39.340 You do or they do.
00:02:40.480 That I do.
00:02:41.360 By the way.
00:02:42.100 Yeah.
00:02:42.620 And then I suddenly was like, oh, that does sound familiar.
00:02:44.600 By the way.
00:02:45.120 You know what it might be?
00:02:46.280 ADD, right?
00:02:47.600 We have an idea and we want to say it or it'll be lost forever.
00:02:50.360 Right.
00:02:50.700 Or a thought.
00:02:51.360 Right.
00:02:51.560 Maybe it's a way of tricking the person who's listening into thinking it's relevant.
00:02:56.640 It's on the path.
00:02:57.500 Yeah, on the conversational path.
00:02:59.100 Survival is one of my favorite pens.
00:03:01.620 sailor pro gear slim or is it sailor pro gear no i think it's sailor pro gear slim oh yeah i think
00:03:07.680 we're starting hi hi happy valentine's day happy valentine's if you're listening you know it's the
00:03:18.780 big it's the big day day how do you do you make a single valentine time today did i make one yeah
00:03:26.780 and do you get
00:03:27.900 given one as a question
00:03:28.940 generally speaking
00:03:29.880 I typically
00:03:31.060 I don't have like
00:03:32.380 issues with
00:03:33.020 you know
00:03:33.540 it's like Valentine's Day
00:03:34.600 it's commercial
00:03:35.060 oh yeah who cares
00:03:36.060 it's like well yeah of course
00:03:36.920 like who cares 1.00
00:03:38.480 like fuck 0.99
00:03:39.480 Valentine's 1.00
00:03:40.400 yeah yeah
00:03:41.040 what's annoying about that
00:03:41.940 but I had a friend
00:03:43.520 years ago
00:03:44.100 I don't know if she still does this
00:03:45.200 we kind of fell out of touch
00:03:46.260 yeah
00:03:46.620 but she would send
00:03:47.960 Valentine's to all her friends
00:03:49.320 and she also
00:03:50.460 send holiday cards
00:03:51.760 no
00:03:52.160 or is that
00:03:52.660 no
00:03:52.980 when she's
00:03:53.520 so right
00:03:54.140 it's a Valentine's Day
00:03:55.280 and I have
00:03:56.160 I send July 4th baskets to keep it fresh.
00:04:00.240 I have fond memories of Valentine's Day as a child,
00:04:04.100 where every kid, you have to make a valentine for everyone. 0.89
00:04:06.640 I mean, it's pretty fucking cute. 0.95
00:04:07.920 Oh, yeah.
00:04:08.560 And the commercial one, and frankly, like, the package ones had their charm.
00:04:12.540 Oh, totally.
00:04:12.920 In addition to the doily construction paper, but like peanuts or whatever,
00:04:16.180 like, kind of like commercial.
00:04:17.540 Yeah.
00:04:17.920 Those are cool, too.
00:04:18.520 You tear a dotted line, you tear them off.
00:04:20.020 Like, it's, I don't know, it's cute. 0.90
00:04:21.740 I think, also, I don't really believe, I think there's this myth around Valentine's Day of, like, if you're single on Valentine's Day, like, it sucks.
00:04:30.000 I'm like, I just don't buy that.
00:04:31.120 I think people are fine.
00:04:32.160 I've never felt that.
00:04:32.540 I've never felt that. 0.91
00:04:33.940 I think you're insane if you allow that feeling.
00:04:38.900 If you're, like, it's like, no. 0.92
00:04:42.120 If you're listening to this.
00:04:43.120 All alone on Valentine's.
00:04:45.360 If you're currently struggling with, you want, you know, you want love.
00:04:49.420 We all want love.
00:04:50.200 like what it's like yeah you're fine let this be a reminder that you're fine I mean I mean I guess
00:04:56.460 some people like like genuinely I think have specific fantasies that they want fulfilled
00:05:01.980 I guess some people are like I've never gotten a box of chocolate cheap like a heart or something
00:05:06.820 right I want that for sure sure I mean but I remember times in my life I can remember one
00:05:13.240 time in my life I want to say I was 23 yeah being in a relationship and being like it's Valentine's
00:05:20.060 and being kind of like,
00:05:21.360 well, what's he going to do for me?
00:05:22.820 Huh?
00:05:23.520 I kind of remember that.
00:05:25.620 I don't know.
00:05:25.840 That's like,
00:05:26.360 that's like,
00:05:27.340 like you slipped into culture.
00:05:29.660 I slipped,
00:05:30.180 I slipped right into culture. 1.00
00:05:31.420 You slipped into like K Jewelers 1.00
00:05:32.620 and like the whole thing.
00:05:33.460 I know.
00:05:34.060 It's powerful.
00:05:34.720 And these articles that are like,
00:05:36.060 you know,
00:05:37.260 whatever about like,
00:05:38.980 yeah,
00:05:39.520 what's he going to do for me?
00:05:40.660 I mean,
00:05:40.940 I've,
00:05:41.560 I've never,
00:05:43.200 well,
00:05:43.400 I told my lover early on,
00:05:46.100 like maybe just to clear the whatever,
00:05:48.580 like,
00:05:48.780 yeah,
00:05:48.880 I'm not looking.
00:05:49.480 I was like,
00:05:50.000 i do i do want a valentine love it okay it's really simple and it doesn't mean like cute
00:05:55.620 and so i get one and it's like you know on this is a huge lesson and we're gonna take time with
00:06:01.160 this okay because i i get when it's like on loosely you have to tell people what give them
00:06:05.920 an opportunity he's like to fulfill your dream and i have and as a result i have like these
00:06:11.640 hand-drawn gifts are important and i don't even manage to get drawn back to him it's like you
00:06:17.380 have to i mean romance i mean if you're in a relationship i mean again i guess everyone's
00:06:22.180 i'm like you you have to force i mean it's interesting because i didn't experience like
00:06:28.260 this is what i need for my man okay yeah like it wasn't something it it wasn't like that like
00:06:35.600 but it was more like it would really i knew it would really make me happy like i'm like
00:06:40.400 it's like oh it's valentine's i'm like i want a valentine and then it's like just
00:06:43.600 is understood i guess like and i'm always surprised by it totally every time i'm like oh my god yeah
00:06:51.340 yeah not really no no but but i really want to spend time on this idea because it needs to be 0.95
00:06:55.160 like ended forever yeah so you're like the binary of like valentine's day and then the like fuck
00:07:02.700 valentine's day yeah okay like we really need to like well because if you say if you're saying 0.96
00:07:06.720 fuck valentine's day your allegiance literally obviously declaring how important it is to you 0.98
00:07:11.180 your religion is 1.00
00:07:13.140 you're the worst 1.00
00:07:15.660 of the bunch 0.99
00:07:16.860 you're the most fixated because you think Valentine's Day
00:07:19.600 is something that needs to be
00:07:21.760 your need for God is so profound
00:07:23.760 that you need to reject
00:07:25.080 getting out ahead of it
00:07:27.800 right
00:07:29.080 it pronounces
00:07:32.620 Valentine's Day
00:07:33.540 it actually pronounces your belief
00:07:35.240 to reject
00:07:37.180 to reject is
00:07:39.380 is there is something there so much so so much that I need to react yeah there's something that's 0.99
00:07:45.400 there the looming the looming specter okay of of the huge valentine approaching and going fuck that 0.66
00:07:55.620 there's something funny because I wonder how many people in relationships yeah are like like maybe 0.91
00:08:02.700 for some people this is true yeah there might be a case for some people I'm imagining okay here I
00:08:06.760 I'm taking myself out of my life, right?
00:08:08.620 Here I am.
00:08:09.340 I have three kids.
00:08:10.140 Yeah.
00:08:10.400 Okay.
00:08:11.140 I'm married to a man.
00:08:14.340 We haven't had sex in four months.
00:08:16.680 Very typical, I assume.
00:08:18.440 Yeah.
00:08:19.420 You're like, it's Valentine's next week. 1.00
00:08:22.140 I better get fucked or something. 1.00
00:08:24.600 Okay. 1.00
00:08:26.080 I'm just like, I'm like, I bet that is real.
00:08:28.460 I bet for, I think for some people, Valentine's Day actually is.
00:08:32.000 Like, alone time.
00:08:33.960 Or it's like, well, you better.
00:08:35.420 And then I bet huge fights, obviously, are just huge devastation of like, oh, my God, we're not even having sex on Valentine's Day.
00:08:42.040 The looming heart.
00:09:05.420 ad-free audio none of this bonus chatter extras behind the scenes audio access to extras that we
00:09:14.920 haven't even planned yet extras that are going to shock you you know what you're also going to get
00:09:19.600 on premium that you're not going to get on the free feed specific product recommendations and
00:09:24.320 obsessions of ours we're going to strategically and i'm sorry but conceal specific brands so that
00:09:31.100 only the subscribers get them again if you are a free listener we love you we appreciate you we
00:09:36.580 want to thank you because we are now independent so at the five dollar level or the ten dollar level
00:09:41.660 you are directly helping us produce not helping us produce you are producing the show in addition
00:09:47.400 to the bonus content at the five dollar level your merch discount is a hearty 15 off you ready
00:09:53.580 for ten dollars a month a little something we call a dear friend if you're a dear friend you get of
00:09:59.920 course the ad free audio you get all the bonus content we were just talking about you get a
00:10:05.180 monthly bonus full video episode for those of you who just love to kick back and watch watch watch
00:10:12.320 this is a full episode video just for the ten dollar tier and i really can't tell you if you
00:10:21.440 are supporting us at any level how much it means you have our gratitude runneth over and it's
00:10:27.900 because of you that we're able to keep doing this show. So thank you. Again, that's berlantnovac.supercast.com
00:10:35.300 or just go over to Instagram and find the link in the bio. Spotify, Apple Podcasts, wherever you go,
00:10:41.780 we're there.
00:10:51.480 God, to not be sponsored by Celsius at this point is so offensive.
00:10:54.340 You're holding it, I know.
00:10:55.480 By the way, by the way, your friend, your friend, Jacqueline, this is who I am.
00:11:00.340 Valentine's, just always arm.
00:11:02.440 Yeah.
00:11:02.680 Like, like, okay.
00:11:03.360 You're just like, you get used to it.
00:11:05.240 Yeah. 0.99
00:11:05.900 Because you can imagine like people with like, I mean, like a cigarette or a fucking vape 0.99
00:11:09.600 or something. 0.99
00:11:09.860 Like, it's like this.
00:11:10.800 Yeah.
00:11:11.500 Yeah.
00:11:11.860 I don't know.
00:11:16.000 Here's the thing.
00:11:17.560 I typically, going out to dinner on Valentine's Day, hell, for a couple of reasons, often
00:11:22.540 a prefix, right?
00:11:24.260 Do they still do that?
00:11:25.100 Yes.
00:11:25.480 See, I didn't know enough people were really going out for Valentine's Day.
00:11:28.040 Honey, they're going out.
00:11:29.180 No, it's booked.
00:11:30.060 It's booked up.
00:11:30.980 Like New Year's.
00:11:31.920 It's booked up.
00:11:32.740 Another hell dinner because you want to feast at 7.30 and then begin your partying.
00:11:39.380 It's hell.
00:11:40.000 Oh.
00:11:40.620 I mean, no.
00:11:41.640 But the places really are booked up.
00:11:43.240 So, for example, last year, we had a fun night.
00:11:46.360 We went to horses, actually, the day after Valentine's Day.
00:11:50.140 Oh.
00:11:50.540 And then the books are open.
00:11:51.580 This is the one thing that, I mean—
00:11:55.480 I would say our lifestyle allows for, okay?
00:11:58.340 It might almost be the reason to pursue life in the arts or whatever. 0.99
00:12:02.980 You can fucking... 0.99
00:12:04.400 Reject the calendar? 1.00
00:12:05.340 Reject the calendar.
00:12:06.200 You are, you know, we're at the Grove on a Tuesday closing time.
00:12:11.760 That's the life of the artist?
00:12:13.740 You mean what do you mean?
00:12:15.040 We're at Costco.
00:12:17.460 No, but I mean like, and restaurants, okay?
00:12:20.420 Or bars, they're empty. 0.99
00:12:21.500 And it's heaven on fucking earth. 0.99
00:12:23.120 Yeah. Yeah. Going on off days, heading to the mall. Oh, off day. On a Thursday. Of course. 0.99
00:12:28.860 I mean, it's really fucking. Yeah. That is the biggest luxury. If you can if you can get out 0.99
00:12:34.060 of the calendar, I would say. Definitely reject the calendar at all costs. No. And the 15th,
00:12:39.680 I actually had made a preemptive Moose Stone Frank's reservation. But now we're going to be 0.98
00:12:44.120 out of time for a wedding. I was thinking about this about you this morning. I was brushing my
00:12:46.580 teeth thinking about you. Yeah. What you are. Love it. No. But I was like going like Kate is
00:12:51.200 sort of in a constant state of let's just say like i don't know if it's hyper vigilance but
00:12:55.740 let's throw that out there for fun like you are sort of hyper vigilant about about the near future
00:13:01.320 and enjoying it yeah totally but not super near i mean but but further sorry what i actually mean
00:13:07.940 is further out than me okay i'm like tomorrow maybe i actually don't really even but you are
00:13:14.740 very aware like i was thinking about the fact that you were like i'm gonna have to fly 22 hours or
00:13:19.980 whatever yeah like like in like two months there's a flight and you're thinking like how am i gonna
00:13:23.920 get through that it's wild to me right yeah and then to you the future is real okay like like it's
00:13:31.280 coming like two weeks from now like you know whatever it is like okay valentine's there or
00:13:35.120 whatever it is right like you you thought to do reservations it's interesting because like
00:13:40.500 i don't yeah right we're going to something night i'm very planned focused on i do like something
00:13:47.420 in the future, the near future.
00:13:49.980 I make, you know, I love reservation.
00:13:51.740 I love to make, grab reservations even randomly.
00:13:54.740 You know, next Thursday, table for two.
00:13:56.320 Oh, my God.
00:13:56.820 You know, just have it there.
00:13:58.920 So interesting.
00:14:00.060 Don't feel remotely imprisoned by it or?
00:14:03.480 Because it's just canceled.
00:14:04.760 I don't know.
00:14:06.540 I mean, the management of time.
00:14:09.760 I mean, to be carving something up
00:14:11.300 that's diminishing while you're in the midst of it,
00:14:13.600 you know, it's just, it's an ongoing process.
00:14:17.420 I don't know if it's further into this.
00:14:21.520 Let me get zooted. 0.95
00:14:23.300 She's got the Celsius, 1.00
00:14:24.780 and then she's got four shots of espresso in her cup.
00:14:28.580 The way you drink the Celsius, it's like...
00:14:31.040 I don't do it like this.
00:14:32.240 You're chugging it?
00:14:33.260 I don't chug normally.
00:14:34.420 You're trying to chug.
00:14:35.480 So that it's not just like out.
00:14:37.260 Constantly up and down, yeah.
00:14:39.420 Oatmeal doesn't fill me up.
00:14:40.820 Thoughts?
00:14:41.400 Add protein.
00:14:42.820 Add lentils.
00:14:43.940 To the oatmeal?
00:14:44.980 Yes, Kate.
00:14:45.620 How many times do I have to tell you?
00:14:46.640 It's called brol. 0.99
00:14:47.420 and it's fucking good. 0.99
00:14:48.660 Okay. 0.99
00:14:49.020 It's delicious.
00:14:50.900 It's not garlic-spiced lentil.
00:14:53.520 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:14:54.020 Think about red bean ice cream.
00:14:55.620 Yeah, yeah, totally.
00:14:55.960 Think about red bean ice cream.
00:14:56.960 You spice it with cinnamon, whatever.
00:14:58.560 Yeah, it's...
00:14:59.240 Apples?
00:15:00.200 Sure do.
00:15:00.840 Sounds pretty good, actually.
00:15:01.960 Yeah.
00:15:02.540 I just got...
00:15:03.560 What did I get?
00:15:04.040 Barley oats in the mail,
00:15:05.120 or groats, or whatever.
00:15:06.120 The hulled.
00:15:07.300 Yeah.
00:15:07.780 They're not split.
00:15:09.320 They're whole.
00:15:11.060 Pop them in the Instant Pot.
00:15:13.320 To not be sponsored by Instant Pot.
00:15:15.020 I know, I know.
00:15:15.740 i was thinking of coming up with a valentine's day cocktail you want to create one together
00:15:21.360 sure all right oh my i saw the cutest thing i was at my parents house my mom had a had printed out
00:15:28.440 the recipe for a negroni spagliato it was printed out because she was like printing that moved yeah
00:15:34.580 yeah and i was like oh and she was like i saw that recipe online and i thought it would be
00:15:38.520 nice thing to try and i was like i love negroni spagliato it's one of my go-tos really yeah what
00:15:43.160 It's basically just like, because I love spritz, so it's like a Negroni, but with Prosecco on top.
00:15:51.400 So it's like a sparkling Negroni, kind of.
00:15:54.420 But can you imagine, like, printing?
00:15:56.640 I got news for you.
00:15:57.580 I guess it was also turned to that, me.
00:15:59.700 Printing?
00:16:00.340 I still don't have a printer.
00:16:01.600 Help.
00:16:02.400 I don't have a printer.
00:16:04.120 My old printer from my old house has been rendered useless.
00:16:07.120 It's like, if it's plugged in, it's like, meh.
00:16:10.440 It's like from the 80s.
00:16:11.620 So I need a new printer.
00:16:12.700 Something tells me it's from 2019.
00:16:15.300 No, I want to say realistically it's from 2016.
00:16:17.200 Yeah, yeah.
00:16:18.060 It's probably fine, though.
00:16:19.660 I'm just saying.
00:16:20.800 Why?
00:16:21.520 Something happened with it where I was like, I need to know it.
00:16:23.680 Well, yeah, I know that you had that reaction.
00:16:27.020 I'm just saying there will be the minors have set up with the new one. 0.97
00:16:31.400 I'm just saying it might be equal to you dealing with the paper jam or whatever the fuck is the old one. 0.88
00:16:37.460 So I'm just saying, like, you know what I'm saying? 0.98
00:16:39.780 Maybe take a second and breathe the old one.
00:16:42.020 There was some reason why I thought it was beyond repair.
00:16:43.920 I know, but.
00:16:44.600 But that can't be.
00:16:45.620 Yeah, I mean.
00:16:47.040 It was the thing where I press print and it prints out a diagnostic.
00:16:49.720 Yeah.
00:16:50.000 Or it's like, help me.
00:16:50.680 This is what I need.
00:16:51.520 And I'm like, well, I don't read binary code.
00:16:55.420 It's like error 469.
00:16:57.780 Yeah.
00:16:57.980 Just tell me what the error is.
00:16:59.160 If you got 469 in there, say help in this exact way.
00:17:03.080 Did you try Googling error 469 brother LW?
00:17:06.780 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:17:06.960 And it goes like, check that.
00:17:09.400 Refer to page four of the booklet or whatever.
00:17:11.660 It's like, they make it impossible.
00:17:13.680 I don't know why I'm defending them.
00:17:16.840 I mean, wait, every time I order a printer, it's always same day because it's always desperate.
00:17:21.240 I need to print this out.
00:17:22.460 Yeah.
00:17:22.720 And I don't mean I need to print this out.
00:17:23.740 There's a form.
00:17:24.880 I mean, like, I need to print things out.
00:17:27.020 I need to put them on my wall.
00:17:28.100 I need to cut them up with scissors.
00:17:29.240 That's the only way.
00:17:29.920 I need tactile, tactile.
00:17:31.480 I've ordered printers to hotel room. 0.80
00:17:34.100 No.
00:17:34.940 And they get there?
00:17:35.800 It was right before the taping of Get On Your Knees.
00:17:38.060 And they get there?
00:17:39.560 Okay, we could have a printer here in 45 minutes.
00:17:41.460 How do you know which printer to get?
00:17:42.700 And then why don't you just leave it at the hotel?
00:17:43.940 I get reviews.
00:17:45.100 I think I gave it to someone.
00:17:46.380 I gave it to someone.
00:17:47.100 Yeah, local library.
00:17:49.660 No, I gave it to someone working on the production.
00:17:52.360 Saw some girls on my block selling Girl Scout cookies.
00:17:54.640 Really? 0.92
00:17:55.180 Pretty cute.
00:17:56.840 What's the deal with that?
00:17:57.960 Well, I sold them as a kid.
00:17:59.580 So my best friend as a child was a Girl Scout.
00:18:02.000 Right.
00:18:02.260 So I would always get the samosas, samosas at her house.
00:18:05.740 Samosas are unbelievable.
00:18:07.260 The thins, the mint thins.
00:18:08.440 Thin mints.
00:18:08.900 What is?
00:18:10.160 Samosas and mint thins.
00:18:11.460 that is my question
00:18:14.060 is you outside of culture
00:18:15.380 you know fresh
00:18:16.220 kept fresh by your parents
00:18:17.260 what are
00:18:18.800 the girls 0.99
00:18:20.240 where does the money go 0.85
00:18:22.340 do you see what I'm saying
00:18:23.960 who's
00:18:24.380 is this okay
00:18:25.540 it's still fine
00:18:26.760 whatever
00:18:27.260 the girl scouts
00:18:28.500 what do they do now
00:18:30.340 because if it is about camping
00:18:32.180 I don't recall
00:18:32.700 I'm pro 1.00
00:18:33.460 is it really girls going 1.00
00:18:34.900 hey here's how you tie a knot
00:18:36.120 here's how you start a fire
00:18:37.240 let's all get together
00:18:38.420 have sleepovers
00:18:39.140 or is it
00:18:40.220 Or is it weird guys going like, sell the cookies, guys.
00:18:44.220 And the money goes to like Halliburton.
00:18:46.220 Like, I don't, where does the dollar go?
00:18:48.120 Don't recall.
00:18:48.960 Okay.
00:18:49.240 It's not charity.
00:18:50.280 I think it went, I think it might have gone to the Girl Scouts organization.
00:18:54.680 Okay.
00:18:55.340 But I don't recall.
00:18:56.740 And it might have genuinely been charity.
00:18:58.460 I don't, I don't recall.
00:18:59.320 It'd be cool if the girls themselves got the money.
00:19:01.540 I'm like, yeah. 0.87
00:19:04.320 Maybe that was what happened.
00:19:06.300 What's going on with inflation?
00:19:07.360 How much is a box?
00:19:08.260 No clue.
00:19:09.060 I feel like they used to be like nine.
00:19:10.580 But what was exciting about them, I mean, do you want to know about my Girl Scout cookie selling experience?
00:19:15.020 I want to know.
00:19:15.620 So you were a Girl Scout.
00:19:17.340 What did you do?
00:19:18.220 What does that mean?
00:19:19.160 What is that culture?
00:19:20.240 I have so much to say about it.
00:19:21.740 It's like, it's so deep.
00:19:23.440 Okay, go.
00:19:23.880 I can't believe we ever talked about this.
00:19:24.700 I know.
00:19:25.260 Well, first of all, there was a point, and this is so me, I think you'll understand.
00:19:28.620 There was a point where I quit the Girl Scouts and the troop disbanded.
00:19:35.000 I am, if nothing, a leader.
00:19:37.520 You were the spine.
00:19:38.460 Okay.
00:19:39.840 How do they make the groups?
00:19:41.960 This was the vibe, okay?
00:19:43.400 So in my town, in the school system, in our school,
00:19:46.860 there happened to be two troops, and they're troops, by the way.
00:19:50.240 What are they called?
00:19:50.500 Is it a number?
00:19:51.880 Yeah.
00:19:52.720 I was in 1032.
00:19:53.900 So it's basically like the military. 0.57
00:19:55.460 It's like soft military for little girls?
00:19:57.880 No, it's...
00:19:59.280 I hear numbers like that.
00:20:00.220 I go, it's the military.
00:20:02.220 10-4?
00:20:03.940 I think it was just, you know...
00:20:06.320 Okay, sorry.
00:20:06.840 I'm just going to let you talk.
00:20:07.540 I'm just like dying.
00:20:08.320 Like, what did you do?
00:20:09.180 Did you go camping?
00:20:10.040 Did you learn knife skills?
00:20:11.700 Yes.
00:20:12.420 Oh, my God.
00:20:13.140 Okay, I'm in.
00:20:14.700 Okay, so, you know, there was a troop I was part of.
00:20:19.040 It felt like the vibe was someone, like a parent decides, like,
00:20:23.580 I'm going to be a Girl Scout troop leader, right?
00:20:26.380 Or me and my other adult friend are going to, we're going to form a troop,
00:20:29.940 you know, of whoever.
00:20:33.100 And, like, in my, it was kind of interesting because I remember this feeling of,
00:20:36.380 like there was our troop and then there was this other troop and sort of how did that happen you
00:20:40.640 know what I mean like and I don't know what size they're limited to you know but there were enough
00:20:47.000 there was enough interest for there to be two two troops so my troop so it started we were we were
00:20:51.940 brownies okay that's what it's called yes they had these brown uniforms and so cute it wasn't
00:20:57.180 you know until you got older or whatever that you moved into the green and the green that forest
00:21:02.380 sort of green of girl scouts but brownie is like the early memory like this little brown vest
00:21:08.480 and you know the costumes of course i mean of course is a huge part of the appeal right
00:21:13.820 like a little a vest with a little like felt thing pinned and whatever and i think this was
00:21:19.400 something okay and uh you know we meet as a group weekly isn't crazy there's an activity
00:21:24.760 there's like groups there's just always like widespread rape and sexual harassment it's like
00:21:29.820 people get together
00:21:31.240 and it's just like
00:21:31.960 well here we go
00:21:33.000 this is what I'm saying
00:21:33.420 because that was the thing
00:21:34.300 what I remember
00:21:34.800 was hearing
00:21:35.000 Boy Scouts
00:21:35.700 organizations
00:21:35.980 yeah it was like
00:21:37.300 organized sexual violence
00:21:38.900 and then of course
00:21:39.700 obviously without
00:21:40.620 there was all this
00:21:41.920 homophobia
00:21:42.540 duh
00:21:43.020 and it was just like
00:21:44.440 it's just so crazy
00:21:45.260 whenever there's a group
00:21:46.700 whenever there's an adult
00:21:47.920 like I'm organizing a group
00:21:50.120 you're like
00:21:50.520 what are you going to do
00:21:51.840 yeah
00:21:52.300 what's your big plan
00:21:53.900 second there's an organization
00:21:54.980 like you have something
00:21:56.460 that can have rot within
00:21:58.060 you have something
00:21:58.840 that can be
00:21:59.820 You know, it's like, it's like there's an organization.
00:22:02.060 Now there's channels for poison.
00:22:03.900 Yeah.
00:22:04.540 You know, like, should groups be, be so solid?
00:22:08.080 Maybe they shouldn't.
00:22:09.400 Well, yeah.
00:22:09.960 I mean, if there's no leader, decentralized leadership.
00:22:13.600 Yeah, I guess that's what I'm like.
00:22:15.360 Yeah.
00:22:16.140 I mean, I don't know.
00:22:17.260 Who was your group leader?
00:22:18.800 Who was your group leader?
00:22:19.460 It was a friend's mother.
00:22:20.520 It was a girl and her mother was the primary.
00:22:24.500 Okay.
00:22:25.080 And so she's leading us weekly through these different activities.
00:22:30.180 Okay.
00:22:30.560 So is it like, okay, we're meeting at three after school.
00:22:32.400 I just don't understand how it's worked.
00:22:33.440 Okay.
00:22:33.560 And then what happens?
00:22:34.320 So I think we'd even be like in a classroom.
00:22:36.500 I'm not sure, but I think we'd be in a classroom.
00:22:38.180 Sometimes we'd be at someone's house or something like that.
00:22:40.660 And it would be some activity, some learning.
00:22:43.020 Like what?
00:22:43.300 Like I remember first, like, for example, hearing the term herstory.
00:22:47.020 Oh my God.
00:22:48.020 Okay.
00:22:48.180 There was like a lesson on herstory.
00:22:49.780 Yeah.
00:22:51.040 Hell yeah.
00:22:51.600 There were a couple of camping trips, as you as you said, on those camping trips, I remember
00:22:56.480 it was like we had to like get a knife, like a Swiss Army knife, and we like whittled sticks
00:23:02.340 to sharp points.
00:23:03.540 Oh, my God.
00:23:03.920 Amazing. 0.93
00:23:04.340 And then use those to stab marshmallows, you know.
00:23:06.920 Cute.
00:23:07.460 That was great.
00:23:08.180 But the kind of the infrastructure that I recall, OK, there was this book and this this
00:23:13.840 this book that you flip through and there were things you could do.
00:23:17.960 Oh, right.
00:23:18.280 It was all about earning patches.
00:23:19.500 OK.
00:23:20.420 To go in your vest.
00:23:21.600 So the group would do some activity and it was like, oh, we're going to get, and this
00:23:25.460 is what the patch looks like, you know, and if we complete this activity, you know, like
00:23:30.760 we're going to go clean up the river side.
00:23:33.240 Yeah.
00:23:33.620 Oh, yeah.
00:23:33.940 Beach cleanup, I feel like was huge for the Girl Scouts over here.
00:23:36.640 There were no beaches near us, but yeah.
00:23:38.440 Yeah.
00:23:38.900 Okay.
00:23:39.420 Pond scum.
00:23:40.300 Right. 0.99
00:23:40.960 So you do the thing and then you get a little patch.
00:23:44.500 Yeah.
00:23:44.680 But then there was this idea that like I remember being at home and it was this idea that you
00:23:47.740 could do one alone, individual, on your own time and get patches.
00:23:51.320 So I was going to breeze through, do any of these interest me?
00:23:53.500 You know what I mean?
00:23:54.700 And, you know, it had a mix of activities.
00:23:56.300 It was like, I'm sure it's even more so now, you know, like coding.
00:24:01.400 Yeah.
00:24:01.780 And then there were like the ones that I felt like a plot, like it was like the performing
00:24:04.300 arts ones, you know, like it was almost like, oh, you could like organize a play, you know,
00:24:08.440 or something, which like I, you know, had already done a few productions by the time
00:24:12.600 I was third grade.
00:24:14.780 And they were like, you can do it in class.
00:24:17.900 And it was like, we got through like, you know, the tiniest bit in first grade, like
00:24:20.900 I was like, we're going to need another seven days for me to complete the play.
00:24:24.640 Yeah.
00:24:25.200 But Wizard of Oz.
00:24:27.740 Wow.
00:24:27.980 I ran rehearsals in my basement.
00:24:29.900 I was a tyrant.
00:24:30.820 I remember trying to explain to someone, like, be inside the role.
00:24:35.160 Yeah.
00:24:35.880 It was really great.
00:24:37.180 Wait, so you quit.
00:24:38.160 You were like, I'm done.
00:24:38.960 That happened at some point because I'm always trying.
00:24:40.960 It wasn't challenging enough for you, I guess.
00:24:43.820 I felt like I had this weird, like, less than feeling in there.
00:24:47.920 Like, it felt, you know, so, like, flipping through the book.
00:24:50.660 well what about the performing arts you know what i mean it was sort of like it was it was
00:24:54.420 wholesome at times like to a fault you know what i mean like it was it's pretty goy but but but a
00:25:00.360 lot of like like my little best friend jewish she was a brownie yeah you so i feel like there 0.81
00:25:05.120 no oh there were there were my dad was a boy scout when he was like in the fucking 50s yeah 0.74
00:25:12.420 so they so there were jews my dad had like yeah yeah well oh no absolutely yeah you know we we 0.58
00:25:18.520 Maybe even a big faction, yeah.
00:25:21.160 I'd be tempted to ask my mother and report in a future episode,
00:25:23.420 like, what was the vibe of me?
00:25:25.320 I mean, I did a lot of, like, shall I quit this?
00:25:27.600 Like, do I want out?
00:25:28.900 I still have these dreams about whether or not I'm going to do field hockey senior year.
00:25:32.040 Oh, my God.
00:25:32.600 Let me guess.
00:25:33.140 No.
00:25:34.080 Well, I did do it.
00:25:35.360 What? 1.00
00:25:35.700 A little dyke? 1.00
00:25:36.500 You do field hockey? 1.00
00:25:37.700 Yeah.
00:25:38.040 You think I am?
00:25:39.120 I didn't know that.
00:25:39.940 Oh, my God.
00:25:40.860 It's four years.
00:25:42.300 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:25:44.340 What?
00:25:45.500 You did field hockey for four years in high school?
00:25:48.040 I did a lot of things.
00:25:49.180 Social vice president.
00:25:50.860 I mean, I was in student council for four years.
00:25:53.540 She went to Dartmouth, folks.
00:25:55.100 You're joking.
00:25:55.800 I mean, not Dartmouth.
00:25:56.760 Georgetown.
00:25:57.360 Yeah.
00:25:57.720 Yeah.
00:25:59.020 Wow.
00:25:59.860 Imagine me like, imagine me giving speeches.
00:26:01.420 Were you straight A's?
00:26:02.500 Well, it was a 4.0 system.
00:26:04.680 What speeches did you give?
00:26:06.240 Election speeches.
00:26:07.320 Because you were the president of?
00:26:08.540 No, I mean like to win.
00:26:10.620 And what'd you apply for or whatever?
00:26:11.960 What'd you run for?
00:26:12.720 Okay, my senior year, I think I ultimately ran for social vice president and got it.
00:26:18.040 Social vice president meaning, like, prom?
00:26:20.040 Not to diminish their duties.
00:26:21.920 No, I mean, yeah.
00:26:22.420 I've never heard of that, social.
00:26:24.300 So.
00:26:25.020 By the way, what does, like, the president of a high school, what do they do?
00:26:29.180 Well, this is actually pretty interesting.
00:26:30.480 So there's student council.
00:26:31.880 Yeah.
00:26:32.220 And then there's, I was about to say state government.
00:26:34.900 Okay, but it's, like, student council and then class, president, class, secretary, class, whatever.
00:26:40.440 Mm-hmm.
00:26:40.800 Okay?
00:26:41.080 So it was kind of like, you know, student council, federal.
00:26:44.540 Okay?
00:26:44.780 You're president of the whole school.
00:26:45.880 you're you know managing all the grades right so me what could that possibly mean well it depends
00:26:53.060 you know it depends on what you promised you know like i remember this one guy cut trying to cut
00:26:57.200 costs like why are we paying oh hell yeah the gym teacher to fill the soda machine when we could do 0.91
00:27:05.200 it you know what i mean like this one guy like like like it was kind of like fucked it was like 0.90
00:27:08.860 because we kind of want to give the guy the extra cash yeah he likes doing it like that could go 0.53
00:27:13.780 you know totally um but yeah field hockey four years um i mean also lacrosse freshman year
00:27:20.380 i was captain out of mere enthusiasm and then the skills the skills fell apart lacrosse the
00:27:25.340 thing with the net yeah that is crazy okay but also but also you have to understand at the same
00:27:32.960 time i was you have to understand yeah okay at the same time i was in my like writing workshops
00:27:38.760 okay so i was i was a i i was undercover is i was thinking about it's like i was undercover in
00:27:47.540 high school having high school experiences were you the most popular girl in school no but i'm
00:27:51.580 like what was you were like the pretty girl no giving bjs playing lacrosse i guess no bj yet
00:27:56.800 it doesn't oh wait what am i talking about of course sorry sorry i mean i mean my work okay
00:28:03.200 I know.
00:28:03.600 Trying to go number one.
00:28:05.280 Imagine us in high school as friends.
00:28:07.560 No, but I want, there's, well, we would have been, absolutely.
00:28:10.580 Definitely.
00:28:11.220 The reason I say no, no, no, I'm none of that.
00:28:12.920 I'm none of that, okay, is because I was not.
00:28:15.260 Do you have desires to lead?
00:28:16.160 I don't have desires to lead.
00:28:18.320 I'm kind of, like, I don't, like. 0.97
00:28:20.220 I did then, I think, because, like, when there's nothing but fools around. 0.99
00:28:23.860 Yeah, totally. 0.98
00:28:24.120 Someone's got to step up, okay?
00:28:25.640 Yeah.
00:28:26.120 But I have no interest in trying to manage society.
00:28:30.560 Like, I, you know what I mean?
00:28:32.120 Of course, yeah.
00:28:32.560 But it's like I was doing all the high school stuff.
00:28:36.720 OK, but I was undercover in my mind is like a writer.
00:28:40.740 Yeah.
00:28:41.140 OK, so I was like I was like living out eventual memoir.
00:28:45.960 But of course, if you're conscious of that.
00:28:48.900 Did adult teachers have issues with you?
00:28:51.260 No, I tried to shut you down.
00:28:53.400 No, I mean, I was teacher's pet.
00:28:54.540 I mean, no, my relationship with teachers were.
00:28:56.500 Yeah, no, I mean, there was a letter sent.
00:28:59.340 I still text with the letter, like the principal, right?
00:29:01.420 these letters to the seniors and mine was about how I could like carry a conversation with teachers
00:29:04.940 or like how I notably like seemed to like have like adult relationships with the teachers
00:29:10.000 and I was like yeah yeah um no but there were girls who I think are what you're talking about
00:29:16.560 okay the teachers like on like I don't mean to say they were uncomplicated you know what I mean
00:29:20.660 but I mean like they were they were they were the thing where I'm always like conscious of being
00:29:25.940 anything yeah yeah and i was not like i like my interests were i mean it was also of course
00:29:32.660 school paper how'd you use it's so funny you struggle now with time management right you
00:29:38.300 talk about this it's like how did you even i'm hearing lacrosse i'm hearing yeah class
00:29:43.040 vice president i'm hearing newspaper i'm hearing directing plays well that was first grade but
00:29:50.000 yeah yeah i think this the schedule yeah i mean field hockey love a schedule you know right after
00:29:58.700 school i mean there were meetings i have a memory because you know they wanted me for varsity
00:30:03.580 basketball yeah i'm sure they did it's pretty good in those but i uh couldn't do it because
00:30:08.300 it interfered with my play schedule and i had to choose am i going to be a thespian or am i going
00:30:11.720 to be an athlete but i have memories of like early i want to say ninth grade after school
00:30:17.280 playing basketball and I can like feel it like the power of sports a physical exertion because
00:30:23.080 I'm secretly an athlete but I you know can't I hardly work out I don't engage in these things
00:30:28.820 yeah but the secret like I secretly am in basketball yeah and I can remember like gym
00:30:34.780 sounds like the was all outdoor oh outdoor court being Los Angeles yeah and that's crazy like the
00:30:42.400 the exhilaration of after school sports yeah it's kind of nothing to say here i'm having a private
00:30:47.460 i'm having no no no no but it's tactile i am freshly cut grass it's christmas time see that's
00:30:53.120 amazing because obviously christmas time freshness you know like me that's like snow and then i'm
00:31:00.560 like i lived in the swiss miss hot chocolate packets after school so i also was like sunken
00:31:06.280 into like depression and also like you know undiagnosed addd yeah so i it would be like
00:31:11.560 my mass user being like I was pulling me aside and being like do we need to talk to someone about
00:31:15.780 like bipolar like yeah whatever like why do you have a 98 on this test and like a 22 on this one
00:31:21.960 yeah you know what I mean like and whatever I mean I was like I don't know why this is all
00:31:27.960 feeling very like on like this is all feeling very like I don't know this whole like describing
00:31:32.580 myself in high school is like hell like I love it they love it they love it and it's like not
00:31:36.820 working like i can't explain like it's working trust me but like i was like me like i'm weird
00:31:42.840 i'm i'm weird no but yeah but so i was fucking dealing i mean i was like you know massive
00:31:49.100 i mean i i think i like sort of burnt out there's that version of like you know who i am now or 0.73
00:31:56.000 something like that whatever like like burnt out in high school like you know and just and just
00:32:00.460 like self-flagellation like sobbing like with you know not like you know getting up at 7 a.m 0.60
00:32:07.980 and like doing practice SATs like in the basement of my own home at my own will damn like because
00:32:15.380 like basically it was like surrounded by people who were like getting yeah it was like surrounded
00:32:19.720 by people who my friends who like I did and schoolmates who I did not perceive as being
00:32:25.220 more intelligent than me yeah obviously yeah of course okay and and yet it was like but why are
00:32:31.900 they succeeding on some of these things yeah yeah i should absolutely totally be able to of course 0.94
00:32:35.900 and so it was like my life was about fucking proving to myself that i could do all sorts of
00:32:43.980 things i guess but i was like i was like into film okay i was like into film and lighting i was the 0.98
00:32:48.880 president of the film club i know screening bigger and blacker i screened bigger and blacker in the
00:32:54.480 library after school no one came so my best friend transcribed bigger and blacker you did 0.91
00:32:59.580 yeah in high school no no fucking early 20s last week yeah yeah in college so cool i used to 0.71
00:33:07.160 transcribe i used to transcribe a lot and because i transcribed rushmore go what's going on yeah 0.89
00:33:12.480 yeah it's well you to actually do it yourself yeah you learn a lot whatever happened to crazy
00:33:18.900 you okay you know oh my god um but we got to do a poog film club yeah and yeah i'm saying 0.99
00:33:28.340 come for me bitch you won't get legal on the horn i don't care it's like when you're angry 1.00
00:33:35.020 your accent comes out right it's like yeah it's like when i'm like angry tired like i call the 0.99
00:33:39.080 podcast about accents i'm like it's poog stuff like well i call it poog when i'm not angry but
00:33:44.820 my mom yeah has you know my mom's speech is like kind of affected like she she speaks kind of like
00:33:51.000 and she just told me recently because it's like this is kind of how she she she because she spanish
00:33:58.840 was her first language she had such a thick accent she modeled her english-speaking voice 0.99
00:34:02.940 after audrey hepburn here we go and like it's here we fucking go like has this kind of right
00:34:10.060 It's like not mid-Atlantic, but it's like she has this very flowery way of talking. 0.52
00:34:14.340 And it's like, she just told me this like last week.
00:34:16.940 This is.
00:34:17.520 And I was like, oh, my God, my mother.
00:34:20.480 Huge.
00:34:21.060 Isn't that sweet? 0.99
00:34:21.820 It's fucking fascinating. 0.98
00:34:23.140 I'm soaring right now. 0.97
00:34:25.020 Let me just think about it.
00:34:25.700 It's like, what does she do?
00:34:28.740 Like, because there's also.
00:34:30.380 You know my mom calls you Jacqueline.
00:34:32.440 Oh, my God. 0.97
00:34:33.300 And always has to correct herself and say Jacqueline.
00:34:35.380 I don't mind Jacqueline.
00:34:38.800 That's cute.
00:34:39.420 I'm totally fine with it
00:34:41.200 she can tell me anything she wants with that voice
00:34:43.240 you know
00:34:44.520 I define myself like I did all those things 0.99
00:34:47.920 it's the same shit I always have this 0.99
00:34:49.560 want to prove I can do the one thing 1.00
00:34:51.040 reject the thing but not
00:34:53.640 because I can't do it
00:34:54.620 that's like
00:34:55.720 you know so it's like
00:35:00.040 to me it's like 0.99
00:35:01.780 I'm going to do all the shit you're doing 0.99
00:35:03.200 I'm not running over to theater and film 1.00
00:35:05.580 and art because I can't fucking hack it 0.98
00:35:07.620 Or it's in government and math. 0.98
00:35:10.220 Yeah.
00:35:10.940 It's like.
00:35:11.780 You know what?
00:35:12.180 You're going to be in a future life, an air traffic controller.
00:35:15.600 And you'll finally be free.
00:35:20.160 I mean, I can picture you, air traffic controller.
00:35:24.160 You have a wife and two kids. 1.00
00:35:25.960 You fucking go to work. 1.00
00:35:27.680 You control it. 1.00
00:35:28.520 You go home, crack a beer.
00:35:30.340 You have chicken pot pie. 1.00
00:35:31.900 You get a blowjob and you go to sleep. 0.99
00:35:33.700 then you say finally free because because like i think yeah i think i'm like i run what i run 0.99
00:35:40.660 yeah i do a damn good job yeah yeah and you're like that you have you can only have one point
00:35:45.980 of obsession because it's life or death maybe all your source of angst is that there are no true
00:35:50.100 stakes well yeah right and so i've ratcheted up artistic stakes yeah to a point of i was sitting
00:35:59.120 I was, like, laying there, like, watching, like, TV, going, like, going, like, I got,
00:36:03.700 like, I think I'm, like, I think I'm meditating on film right now.
00:36:08.440 Like, like, just, like, artistic, like, hell last night.
00:36:11.740 Like, I was in line, I was like.
00:36:13.060 No, like.
00:36:13.560 Kitchen Nightmares?
00:36:14.420 No, it was, like, what was I watching?
00:36:16.940 Oh, I enjoyed it.
00:36:18.340 Afraid.
00:36:19.460 AI in the middle.
00:36:20.960 Don't know it.
00:36:22.220 Great. 0.99
00:36:23.060 It was fucking great. 0.99
00:36:24.040 Netflix? 0.99
00:36:24.480 Love movies.
00:36:25.140 Yeah, yeah. 0.99
00:36:25.800 And I was like, I'm doing like a bender of, you know, kind of like robot, like robot housekeeper horror.
00:36:35.660 I'm just like, you know, we got to turn it back. 0.98
00:36:37.560 We got to turn it fucking back. 0.98
00:36:38.780 Oh, yeah. 0.99
00:36:39.140 Well, you mean, yeah, going back.
00:36:40.700 Like, no, you know.
00:36:41.660 Well, I told you, this is not my life.
00:36:43.260 I'm not a homesteader.
00:36:44.300 Like I, but I'm having the fantasies of like.
00:36:48.300 Self-sufficient.
00:36:49.280 Farmland.
00:36:49.740 Not even self-sufficient.
00:36:50.960 Partial.
00:36:51.800 Yeah.
00:36:52.200 But just like, what would it be like to live?
00:36:55.800 OTG? No, or just, you know, in Montecito. No, I'm kidding.
00:37:08.200 This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. What do you want the narrative of 2025 to be?
00:37:14.800 Maybe it's time for an unexpected plot twist. Perhaps there's some part of your story you're
00:37:20.780 looking to revise. I think one of the great ways to use therapy is to boldly define for yourself
00:37:29.100 in front of a witness what you care about, what you want. Therapy rocks. You either know that or
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00:38:21.300 That's betterhelp.com 1.00
00:38:23.920 slash hags.
00:38:33.580 Oh, you know what's been huge for me? 1.00
00:38:35.060 Watch. Wearing one.
00:38:37.260 What's the time? You don't have to go.
00:38:39.700 Okay, it's like...
00:38:40.640 What is that watch?
00:38:42.560 This is a fake. Fake watch?
00:38:44.660 It's a fake.
00:38:45.460 It's one of Chris's.
00:38:46.780 So it's the fake moon swatch.
00:38:49.300 It's like a cheapo, like $15 version of, there's like, okay, swatch watches.
00:38:54.460 There's a collab of swatch watches and Omega, like the Omega Speedmaster.
00:38:59.900 Oh, by the way, I think it's like featured in, or maybe, I forget, Interstellar or something.
00:39:04.760 One of the things, like the Omega Speedmaster or whatever, something, I always get it wrong,
00:39:08.180 but it's like, was the ones the astronauts wore.
00:39:11.460 And so they call it like the moon, the moon watch or whatever.
00:39:13.540 and then swatch did this collab so it's like plastic so the real ones is like 270 dollars but
00:39:18.940 you know which is in the watch world not that much right at all but people are like you get
00:39:24.760 it and it's sort of plastic and so it's sort of like you're really pissed if like i don't know
00:39:28.780 it's plastic yeah of course so so we were kind of like experimenting with the fako and loving it
00:39:36.200 love a fake i love a fake like to know you have um some little thing down there like
00:39:41.500 knowing it's like
00:39:42.840 under your sleeve
00:39:43.480 your watch
00:39:44.320 yeah so all devices
00:39:45.780 now separating
00:39:46.520 into individual functions
00:39:47.840 wait we never came up
00:39:49.880 with our valentine's day
00:39:50.560 cocktail 1.00
00:39:50.900 oh yeah shit 0.99
00:39:51.500 okay valentine's day 0.99
00:39:52.320 ready
00:39:52.380 okay okay
00:39:53.080 first of all
00:39:54.160 okay
00:39:54.820 should it be red
00:39:55.560 yes
00:39:56.280 okay every holiday
00:39:57.520 you have an opportunity
00:39:58.300 okay which is the day
00:39:59.300 after the holiday
00:39:59.900 to in cvs etc
00:40:01.620 or target
00:40:02.340 buy the suddenly 1.00
00:40:03.780 discounted shit 0.99
00:40:04.600 from that holiday 0.99
00:40:05.220 now there's the whole
00:40:06.420 am i saving it
00:40:07.240 for next year
00:40:07.740 i don't find that exciting
00:40:09.100 i find that joyless
00:40:10.220 okay
00:40:10.520 okay
00:40:11.500 although I was almost tempted this year in Barnes & Noble
00:40:13.840 looking at like these cards for Christmas.
00:40:15.540 I was like, oh, beautiful.
00:40:16.960 Yeah.
00:40:17.300 Here's the bargain you got to make.
00:40:19.040 You go, oh, is this a cheap, whatever, mug?
00:40:22.980 Okay.
00:40:23.720 That's just a red mug with a heart on it. 0.98
00:40:26.060 It's an opportunity to get shit that's pink, red, or has hearts on it. 0.99
00:40:29.600 Okay. 0.99
00:40:30.180 If you like that stuff in your life at all.
00:40:32.820 And then can you mentally divorce it 0.99
00:40:34.540 from having been discounted Valentine's shit? 0.99
00:40:37.140 Right. 0.99
00:40:38.080 So, you know.
00:40:40.700 I want to do get doily valentines.
00:40:43.500 I want the, I want the classic.
00:40:44.200 You get the doily yourself.
00:40:45.600 I want to do a classic valentines.
00:40:48.320 I want to do a valentine for my mother.
00:40:50.380 Doily, red construction paper.
00:40:52.320 Yeah.
00:40:52.980 When you draw a heart.
00:40:54.200 Yeah.
00:40:55.900 What do you do?
00:40:56.820 One half and the other half.
00:40:58.320 Okay.
00:40:58.840 And what shape do you aim for?
00:41:00.760 Because there are many within the heart world.
00:41:02.540 I like, it depends.
00:41:04.440 Sometimes I like a fat heart.
00:41:05.740 Yeah.
00:41:06.680 But more often I do longer.
00:41:09.600 Long tail.
00:41:10.320 so here's my question big ears boom right it's like sort of really simplistic yeah but do you 0.96
00:41:16.880 go along do you let it curve down that's the bottom that's cheap like slutty yeah orish yeah 1.00
00:41:23.920 i mean not not fun but yeah a whore's a whore's heart yeah now if it's you ever go like this and 0.99
00:41:30.980 it's sort of flat like like look the top like to get it okay here's the other question cleavage 0.99
00:41:37.660 yeah at the top yeah repulsive or beautiful so so so like right right yeah okay is this line
00:41:45.220 yeah descending some cleave it's an interesting question you know if there's zero really leaning
00:41:51.820 into valentine's day sorry now i'm having like imagine imagine valentine's day yeah here's my
00:41:57.640 question oh i think there's something to be said i think let's just say you have a crush
00:42:02.780 if anyone listening to this
00:42:03.860 you have a crush
00:42:04.420 you want to take it
00:42:05.660 to the next level
00:42:06.300 here's the thing
00:42:08.040 people can be won over
00:42:09.560 I'm going to say this
00:42:10.700 very slowly 0.99
00:42:11.160 so everyone fucking gets it 0.99
00:42:12.780 people can be won over 0.99
00:42:14.720 very easily
00:42:16.300 what's the worst thing
00:42:17.740 that can happen
00:42:18.240 they don't fall in love with you
00:42:19.200 they'll love you for life
00:42:20.600 for what you've done for them
00:42:21.540 you have a crush
00:42:22.520 no one has courage anymore
00:42:24.040 I want to see 24
00:42:26.020 long stem red roses
00:42:27.200 like imagine
00:42:29.780 I did it once in college
00:42:31.700 Like, I left a red rose on someone's desk.
00:42:34.000 Oh, my God.
00:42:35.820 Oh, my God.
00:42:36.480 No, I love it.
00:42:37.220 I love it.
00:42:37.720 But I'm just saying, what's the worst that can happen?
00:42:39.800 Because, by the way, rejection, terrifying, scary.
00:42:41.940 Sure.
00:42:42.720 You don't want to embarrass yourself, right?
00:42:43.900 You send someone some crazy Valentine thing and they go, Jesus Christ.
00:42:48.900 Inside, their heart's melted.
00:42:50.020 You've changed their life forever, I would argue.
00:42:51.560 Unless they're truly made of stone.
00:42:53.040 Haven't you ever been sensitive?
00:42:55.820 Haven't you ever been?
00:42:57.240 I don't think you're always heart melted.
00:42:59.160 Oh, I guess you're right.
00:42:59.700 Sometimes, like, they've betrayed the friendship. 0.87
00:43:01.700 You're like, that's disgusting.
00:43:03.940 Oh, you're like, I don't want it to be that. 0.78
00:43:05.820 You're like, ew, this whole time you've been making, like you had another aim.
00:43:11.140 I'm feeling grand gestures right now.
00:43:14.160 Oh, well, grand, absolutely.
00:43:15.680 But imagine, but imagine this.
00:43:17.600 Okay, listen, I'm talking to someone.
00:43:18.920 I have an idea for grand gesture recently.
00:43:19.660 I'm talking to someone, this is a nonspecific person, but just general someone who maybe
00:43:23.440 you're, I get it though.
00:43:26.600 I mean, I'm knocking myself down.
00:43:28.080 It's like, yeah, of course you don't do that.
00:43:29.880 It's crazy or whatever.
00:43:31.300 But I just think there's something to be said for really going hard and not resisting the
00:43:38.580 cheesiness of it.
00:43:39.700 Oh, okay.
00:43:40.080 Well, yeah, there's several things we're talking about.
00:43:41.560 Imagine going hard open.
00:43:43.580 Here's what I want.
00:43:44.620 I'm waking up.
00:43:45.820 Let's just say you're dating someone.
00:43:47.400 Yeah.
00:43:48.420 Okay.
00:43:48.740 It's early.
00:43:49.460 Grand jester, let's say you're in.
00:43:51.200 You're inside of a couple, you mean?
00:43:52.540 You're inside of a relationship.
00:43:53.360 You're inside of a couple.
00:43:53.940 All right, let's take that.
00:43:54.460 But maybe a stage because there's difference.
00:43:56.060 Sure.
00:43:56.460 There's someone that you—
00:43:57.820 This is not a, hello, this is not a attempt to catch the person, is what we're talking about.
00:44:05.340 Well, maybe.
00:44:06.400 To catch them to the next level?
00:44:07.700 Yeah.
00:44:09.020 Lock them in for life?
00:44:10.540 Listen.
00:44:12.160 All right, let's hear it.
00:44:13.000 I want to hear, is it roses?
00:44:14.840 Is it cheesy?
00:44:16.000 Like, is the cheesy stuff that you're...
00:44:17.680 Roses.
00:44:17.960 I used to not think I like roses, but I think I actually do.
00:44:21.560 But I think depends on the color, of course.
00:44:23.660 You used to not like them in order to be interesting?
00:44:26.040 Hey.
00:44:27.000 Below the belt.
00:44:27.820 no i just think i like associate them too much with like drugstores you know what i mean like
00:44:32.660 they just felt because they sold them there did yeah now i'm pro baby's breath now with the rose
00:44:38.380 or or just in general wow i bet those are a bouquet of baby's breath yeah for like yeah the cheapest
00:44:44.960 but yeah i don't even know what i'm trying to say here i just have this i want i want people to feel
00:44:50.540 emboldened yes to go big because you can't fail because here's the thing yeah don't be a creep
00:44:57.240 if you know someone's like or i don't even know no i know what i mean i just mean go big who cares
00:45:03.100 like i'm imagining me a girl okay i wake up on valentine's day let's just say i'm not living 0.97
00:45:09.120 with a partner you say fuck it yeah no i'm saying i wake up i wake up ding dong who's at my door i 0.98
00:45:13.060 open the door there's a singing telegram i mean i don't want oh i thought but i'm just saying 1.00
00:45:16.620 there's a bouquet of of flowers and it's with chocolate i thought today was the day can't wait
00:45:22.000 For tonight.
00:45:22.920 Oh, you already have a date.
00:45:24.020 No, we already have a date.
00:45:24.720 Or last night was amazing.
00:45:28.180 Ew.
00:45:28.460 No.
00:45:29.160 I always think last night is amazing is repulsive.
00:45:32.260 I know.
00:45:32.420 I love saying that to my partner.
00:45:33.700 That's a joke.
00:45:33.960 Oh, well, yeah.
00:45:34.800 Last night was incredible last night.
00:45:36.760 Yeah.
00:45:37.660 Because that's like, you know, these things like always in movies, you know.
00:45:41.640 I was thinking, okay, what would be the best?
00:45:43.760 Let's come up with a romantic line to write inside of Valentine for fun.
00:45:47.120 Okay.
00:45:47.620 Let's like propose a few.
00:45:48.860 Okay.
00:45:49.020 At different stages of a relationship.
00:45:50.280 So here's crush.
00:45:50.980 Early crush.
00:45:51.760 You're right.
00:45:53.080 Okay, wait.
00:45:54.560 See, this is so specific.
00:45:57.440 I know, I know.
00:45:58.400 That is too hard.
00:45:59.500 I think we have to just stay inside of, right now, inside of, you're in it.
00:46:03.180 Like, if this is to launch, if you're trying to, what is the word I'm looking for?
00:46:06.520 Hook them, catch them.
00:46:07.560 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:46:08.220 That's what I'm talking about.
00:46:10.300 No, but from nothing?
00:46:12.320 Okay, not from nothing.
00:46:13.340 From announcing the feelings for the first time?
00:46:15.560 Okay, announcing the feelings is scary, I understand, through Valentine's Day gifts.
00:46:19.760 I am not, I know.
00:46:20.560 but I just want to know what we're talking about I don't know I haven't decided I'm I'm a huge
00:46:24.720 believer yeah like one of my core identities is like go for it no I know go for it what's the 0.99
00:46:30.880 worst that could happen they go no and then you're like fuck but they are like god damn you're good 0.99
00:46:36.060 and by the way oh here's what I want to say let's just say you go hey I love you I've always loved 1.00
00:46:41.880 it's what's the biggest version right yeah friend someone whatever you go I'm obsessed with you
00:46:46.180 whatever i want to you know they go i don't feel that way for you i'm sorry i just think you're
00:46:54.500 still coming out a goddamn champion and yeah i know so what's there to lose most people i mean 0.72
00:47:01.880 a lot of people um i get it i mean what you have you have to well no okay so you have to ask yourself 0.98
00:47:11.920 if you're willing to do it and this is like so many things are you willing to do it regardless
00:47:16.980 of your answer well here's what i'm gonna say no precious outcomes right i think it's a celtic
00:47:23.560 phrase that doesn't sound right but the point is release all precious outcomes and then you
00:47:30.740 can actually live but yeah so so you know they end up not reciprocating then you're free you're
00:47:36.920 free right you get free because by the way nothing more clarifying than rejection nothing in this
00:47:45.560 world more clarifying this thing oh but if i do that then they'll know and yeah get out sooner
00:47:51.300 what do you want to do waste away spend years wishing on a dream wishing on a wishbone get in 0.99
00:47:56.220 there get out hey do you want to the person goes no you go fuck that really hurts guess what you 0.99
00:48:01.100 can't you can't capture them you can't lead anyone to the water you just can't you can't get in get 0.98
00:48:08.160 out go big well yeah i mean i mean um end the chapter move on thank you next well no i was
00:48:15.720 thinking about this because people um try to it's you asking for a valentine's day it's that it's
00:48:20.660 you asking for a valentine i really want a valentine and then guess what your partner gives
00:48:23.960 you valentine great win-win i want to be with you i don't okay bye yeah sorry i interrupted you go 0.95
00:48:30.880 ahead the biggest problem problem in romance okay in the fucking world right is um the reason people 0.92
00:48:38.400 don't do that why okay because they think you mean the big gesture or the big or the getting it out 0.91
00:48:44.920 just the declaration whatever yeah yeah okay they think if they play it right cool yeah not even
00:48:50.340 cool i'm not even doing that okay yeah i'm saying they go this is a situation where there's something
00:48:54.340 valuable potentially like i see us together right right i see a vision of whatever future
00:49:01.840 possibility or dynamic here with this person right i mean someone goes on a date they even
00:49:06.800 like they like they're into it and then immediately begins the strategizing with the friends which is
00:49:11.980 right you know as i know i've like we've discussed this but it's like when you're talking more about
00:49:18.540 the person with your friends than you are talking to the person we've got a problem they are they 0.98
00:49:22.860 They've become—I always felt like—like, Chris is like, if it's not fucking amazing, get the fuck out, okay? 0.98
00:49:28.020 That's always his advice. 0.97
00:49:29.000 Yeah.
00:49:29.480 Like, to anyone, like, just leave now.
00:49:31.340 Like, and also, like, don't try to convince, like, whatever. 0.99
00:49:33.960 You got to have some goddamn face in this life, okay? 0.99
00:49:38.000 You cannot—you cannot—if I fuck this up, I don't get my kids to love. 1.00
00:49:44.440 I see it, I see it. 0.99
00:49:46.020 I can't fuck this up. 0.94
00:49:47.620 better call the tribunal
00:49:49.760 about how to approach
00:49:51.020 this animal
00:49:53.860 that I'm going to win
00:49:56.840 I have to whisper this way
00:49:57.680 no no don't scare it
00:49:58.540 you're going to scare it off
00:50:00.360 by the way
00:50:03.660 here's the thing
00:50:04.420 what you're doing right here
00:50:06.140 this is the advice of the century
00:50:08.480 and also it's like 0.97
00:50:09.560 if you can fuck something up
00:50:12.680 through being honest
00:50:14.040 you don't want that 0.99
00:50:15.680 it's over if you can fuck something up by being too like let's just say you go crazy you go 0.99
00:50:22.000 fucking upset yeah whatever yeah and they go ew great get up yeah because you can't scare off 0.97
00:50:29.500 someone here's here's right no well you can't i mean of course you could scare them off yeah and 0.98
00:50:35.940 but they're meant to be scared off exactly exactly right exactly but but like no but it's more like
00:50:41.200 You can't fuck it up. 0.74
00:50:42.200 You can't fuck it up. 1.00
00:50:42.900 The only thing you can fuck up is years of your life. 1.00
00:50:45.940 Years of your life fantasizing. 0.99
00:50:47.540 But also, let's just say, I'm going to go another step.
00:50:49.200 Who cares?
00:50:50.140 Spend nine years of your life.
00:50:52.420 Wait, really?
00:50:53.000 What do you mean?
00:50:53.200 I'm just like, everything is fine.
00:50:55.580 Everything's fine.
00:50:56.220 Totally, totally.
00:50:56.780 Like, you know, I have to believe, like, waste years.
00:51:00.420 Fantasizing.
00:51:01.280 Or not.
00:51:01.940 I just mean, like, yeah, like, just whatever.
00:51:05.320 Have faith. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:51:05.780 I just mean, advice around love, right, is inherently faulty because what's going to happen?
00:51:13.300 You're going to take the advice, apply it, and there you are inside of love.
00:51:18.060 Like, you literally have to chart your own course.
00:51:21.400 Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally, totally.
00:51:23.620 To, like, there is no, so anyway, honey, right?
00:51:30.320 It's like someone else, honey, honey, you'll know if he likes you.
00:51:33.820 sure like that's not that's pretty good advice right classically speaking yeah honey if you have
00:51:37.920 to ask okay all this kind of honey stuff right but don't you don't you sort of need to not go
00:51:44.440 through that to learn that it's not it's not like it's not that exactly it's like it's almost like
00:51:48.740 you shouldn't be robbed of the experience of doing what that woman is trying to tell you not to do
00:51:54.260 yeah completely it's like you you have to taste all the flavors of everything to decide what you
00:52:01.820 of course like maybe you maybe you want to live where you have you know every year you have a new
00:52:08.800 mystery like you retain it as mystery you wonder a scheme you do whatever that's that's you know
00:52:16.000 what you enjoy on some level heartbroken at the end every time yeah yeah i projected something
00:52:21.540 onto him yeah yeah and you know it's like it's sort of the sort of tired old dog's advice
00:52:26.940 is like
00:52:27.680 it's a robbery
00:52:29.420 totally
00:52:30.340 so you're 12
00:52:31.620 and you're supposed to go
00:52:32.300 I don't know if he likes me
00:52:33.200 like
00:52:34.440 you're robbing
00:52:35.580 them of
00:52:36.800 I mean like
00:52:37.620 the lover's discourse
00:52:39.220 you're robbing them of
00:52:40.400 the fiction
00:52:40.880 archetypal experiences
00:52:41.880 yeah completely
00:52:42.580 completely
00:52:43.020 a variety of fictions
00:52:43.960 a great episode to recommend
00:52:45.760 a book that I cannot recommend more
00:52:47.560 which is
00:52:48.000 Pure Medicine
00:52:48.740 James Hollis's
00:52:50.320 um
00:52:50.720 not knowing the name
00:52:52.260 Eden
00:52:52.600 the Eden Project
00:52:53.400 thank you
00:52:53.800 yeah
00:52:54.220 In Search of the Magical Other
00:52:55.340 or something
00:52:55.740 Jungian approach to romantic, it is, this is, this book is everything.
00:53:00.680 I stood actually, I came across that and stood reading it in my home the other day, facing my own bookshelf.
00:53:06.080 You bought it?
00:53:07.420 I've got it for years.
00:53:08.380 Oh my God.
00:53:09.600 Off my rack.
00:53:10.460 Sure, yeah.
00:53:11.760 Listen, I'm just going to say, I'm going to say to the listener here, and maybe I've brought this up before, but I'm going to bring it up again.
00:53:19.660 the beginning of this book highlights this which is the essential romantic
00:53:24.040 conundrum or not conundrum the the essential romantic encounter yeah which is he talks about
00:53:30.960 he's at his office windows reflective glass and this like beautiful bird keeps flying toward the
00:53:37.060 glass hitting its head lives keeps going back the bird keeps thinking it's seeing its mate
00:53:43.840 it's actually its own reflection and every time it comes closer there it is bang right oh no it's
00:53:50.020 me bang right there it all is right but he's is he saying um that that's like uh you know that's
00:53:58.840 the unintegrated self does that yeah the other is a projection of the self and that you know
00:54:04.640 you actually you encounter yourself at every turn right only once you've integrated the self will
00:54:10.780 you oh no wait but isn't it oh no I think isn't it about like actually not like the goal is actually
00:54:15.920 to find a real other well there's that exactly wasn't that part of it like that and also the
00:54:20.980 idea is that you can never they're not out there the self you're looking for like like the person
00:54:30.780 oh right the magic you are actually like it's like you know it's like this is what nobody wants to
00:54:35.260 hear right you kind of you have to give it to yourself we have partners of course we have
00:54:38.960 relationships they're you know essential whatever
00:54:40.740 but it's like they're not
00:54:42.960 out there yeah
00:54:44.060 no one wants to hear
00:54:47.020 it
00:54:47.600 well I mean people are still walking around with
00:54:50.980 that they are
00:54:52.040 it doesn't mean you're not having guys
00:54:54.620 by the way I am highly romantic
00:54:56.640 you're not going to have
00:54:58.200 ecstatic romantic experiences
00:55:00.440 you're not going to feel fulfillment in a relationship
00:55:02.340 but
00:55:02.800 they're walking around
00:55:05.480 of course they're walking around going
00:55:08.960 if I meet this person, then this, this, this.
00:55:12.460 And again, there's massive relationships
00:55:15.080 can provide a lot of growth, a lot of fulfillment. 0.97
00:55:17.580 They can also be completely fucking deadening 0.98
00:55:19.440 and take you off your life's, your path, 100 fucking percent. 0.99
00:55:22.720 And therefore. 0.99
00:55:23.840 And go down that path, sure.
00:55:25.060 But just meaning like it's not.
00:55:26.580 Still you the whole time.
00:55:27.880 Yeah, it's you the whole time, unfortunately.
00:55:30.500 Let's do dating advice.
00:55:31.340 But the point is.
00:55:32.340 Love line.
00:55:33.020 Well, I want to do love line.
00:55:33.840 Write in with your dating advice.
00:55:35.100 I want people actually calling in.
00:55:36.360 How do we do that?
00:55:37.120 we'll figure that out anyway well you know we've never really gone down this path and and um
00:55:43.220 a lot of notions to to unpack so i don't know that i i i you know this is one of these episodes
00:55:49.380 i leave going i've wildly misrepresented myself well of course but it's all yeah so on so i mean
00:55:53.860 oh listen to me going hey by the way i mean i mean it's many times as i was speaking i was like 0.67
00:55:58.780 kate jesus fucking christ whatever i said about my high school experience no that was heaven that 0.89
00:56:03.880 was the whole thing. It was the image is wrong. The image is wrong. The mental image is wrong. 0.98
00:56:08.300 I've not painted it correctly. We loved it. Love you. Love you.
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