Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - Hungry, Naked, Need to Shower： Part 2 (Burgers)

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00:02:35.440 Hi, I'm Kate Berlant.

00:02:36.900 I'm Jacqueline Novak.

00:02:38.000 And this is POOG, an ongoing conversation about wellness between two obsessive friends.

00:02:42.720 Two untamable intellects.

00:02:44.520 This is our hobby. 0.97

00:02:45.360 This is our hell.

00:02:46.220 This is our naked desire for free products.

00:02:48.500 This is POOG.

00:02:49.920 Today's topic?

00:02:50.700 Loosely speaking.

00:02:51.760 Medium.

00:02:52.160 medium rare medium well let me tell you what happened with the burger here because this is

00:03:01.320 also something i need guidance on yeah i last time i ordered the burger i ordered it medium rare

00:03:07.500 okay okay yeah what does that mean hang on hang on hang on incorrect incorrect i ordered it medium

00:03:13.840 okay it arrived looked beautiful i was so excited okay a little anecdote i was actually doing

00:03:21.340 therapy on zoom and it arrived and i was like i'm sorry i'm just so hungry i have to eat it she was

00:03:26.500 like eat it a couple times i've been eating therapy i've been having full meals like barely

00:03:31.900 dressed okay you're just like shaking like you're just cracking pepper over that was the night i

00:03:37.180 was literally by the way this crying eating a burger talking to my therapist my therapist was

00:03:41.100 like um do you have any klonopin or anything she was like do you have access to any kind of

00:03:46.340 and i was like actually yeah i think and i because i never take pills ever yeah like ever

00:03:52.240 and i my mom gave me some klonopin like in the 80s i'm like a for like a flight to oslo like in the

00:03:57.880 back or like literally and i like found life i found a little klonopin like i was like this

00:04:04.680 is definitely expired broke it in half took it my problems went away let me tell you i knew that

00:04:12.460 my problems went away god yeah i was like are you kidding me i went from i know like really deep deep

00:04:21.680 pain yeah like yeah to like floating on a cloud digesting my cheeseburger feeling 0.98

00:04:28.940 hey okay baby falling asleep with a smile on my face okay okay it's like fuck this is good 0.94

00:04:34.300 and then so much so and i was like wow and like the next week i was like that half a clonopin 0.97

00:04:38.900 or i did something to me and she was like yeah it's good to have on hand just for like emergencies

00:04:42.200 so I was like

00:04:42.880 right right

00:04:43.820 so then I had my mother

00:04:44.840 FedEx me a bunch of Klonopin

00:04:46.180 and then I haven't touched it since

00:04:48.060 because I'm so

00:04:48.620 did she hide it in something

00:04:50.240 not like

00:04:51.100 because

00:04:51.720 no

00:04:52.040 she just sent it in an envelope

00:04:53.260 it was like a bag

00:04:54.320 in an envelope

00:04:54.780 actually it was really

00:04:55.880 because you can't just

00:04:57.080 like the way she put it

00:04:58.140 in the Ziploc

00:04:58.600 and then put that

00:04:59.160 in a sealed envelope

00:05:00.060 and then put that

00:05:00.640 in a sealed envelope

00:05:01.280 when you show up with visible

00:05:02.200 they'll be like

00:05:03.160 we are not allowed to send that

00:05:04.380 if you show up like

00:05:04.880 with it being visible in bed

00:05:05.960 oh interesting

00:05:06.520 yeah

00:05:06.780 if they hear it rattling

00:05:08.160 like they're not going to say anything

00:05:09.940 but as far as I understand

00:05:11.360 but

00:05:11.580 if you hear a rattle

00:05:12.540 don't you tattle

00:05:13.320 okay

00:05:14.840 okay again we're tiring

00:05:16.260 but listen

00:05:16.800 I um

00:05:17.500 but she sent me the others

00:05:19.320 thank god

00:05:20.180 but I've

00:05:20.620 I'm too superstitious

00:05:21.840 around

00:05:22.740 more than one pill

00:05:23.440 under a single moon's turn

00:05:24.700 addiction

00:05:24.720 so I didn't touch it

00:05:26.280 yeah yeah

00:05:27.420 I just like

00:05:28.100 and the double rises again

00:05:29.280 kind of thing

00:05:29.780 curious what your pill superstition

00:05:31.240 okay hang on

00:05:31.960 hang on

00:05:32.340 back to my burger

00:05:32.860 so listen

00:05:33.260 so I'm crying

00:05:35.180 I'm starving

00:05:35.720 zoom therapy 0.87

00:05:37.000 she goes it's fine

00:05:37.820 get your food

00:05:38.460 it's fine

00:05:38.840 take off the tray

00:05:40.480 the burger looks amazing

00:05:41.560 It smells delicious.

00:05:43.260 I look at it.

00:05:45.140 This burger-

00:05:45.660 This is the same burger, the medium?

00:05:46.940 Yes.

00:05:48.380 This burger is not medium.

00:05:50.980 This burger is not medium rare.

00:05:53.840 This burger is rare.

00:05:55.900 Now, hold on.

00:05:56.700 I'm talking about rare.

00:05:58.320 What part of the burger is not red?

00:06:01.660 That's the question.

00:06:02.460 Just the outside?

00:06:03.500 Is it-

00:06:04.000 The outside's not-

00:06:05.080 It's like all red.

00:06:06.040 The outside of the burger even, kind of?

00:06:08.020 No, no, no, no.

00:06:08.900 The outside-

00:06:09.020 That would be like literally hitting heat.

00:06:10.840 That's terrifying.

00:06:11.560 Yeah, no, no, it wasn't.

00:06:12.720 But it was like the thing where it's red and like there's blood on the plate.

00:06:17.580 I mean, that's not my preferred flavor, but I find it an exciting concept.

00:06:21.900 And I was so heartbroken.

00:06:23.500 I took a bite because I was like, I don't care.

00:06:24.960 And then I was like, it's just too rare.

00:06:26.620 I can't.

00:06:27.880 So I called like, it's too rare.

00:06:30.400 I was like, hi.

00:06:31.480 I was like, I hate to do this, but I ordered a medium and I'm afraid this is just really rare.

00:06:36.040 Is there any way I could have it switched?

00:06:37.520 You know, I eat a couple of fries at the plate.

00:06:40.240 Guy comes, switches it out.

00:06:41.560 everything's fine if I order the burger today which it seemed highly likely that I will

00:06:46.860 do I what do I order it as do I okay hold on you know let me take a minute with this

00:06:53.260 so you just said it's a little too it's a little too rare right and then what did they bring back

00:06:58.320 something good right now did you specify when it was the switch it out like did they know they were

00:07:05.000 now still like were they like I'll bring you a good point a true medium or like you're right

00:07:09.900 That's not what I got was a true medium.

00:07:11.980 What I received was a true medium.

00:07:13.300 But maybe for them, that's the question is, does the chef?

00:07:15.540 Because here's my terror.

00:07:16.580 Here's what I'm scared of.

00:07:17.660 Here I go at lunch ordering medium well, and it actually is medium well, which is not what I want.

00:07:22.300 So here's what here's what you're going to have to do.

00:07:24.800 OK, OK.

00:07:25.880 This is going to be hard for you.

00:07:27.820 OK, there was a thing they used to do at Applebee's.

00:07:31.340 OK.

00:07:36.220 OK, and and I found it utterly crass, vulgar.

00:07:39.380 and yet I understood why they did it. 1.00

00:07:42.400 If you ordered a burger and you said whatever the fuck you said, 0.99

00:07:45.920 medium, medium rare, whatever, 0.99

00:07:47.520 what you'd see on your receipt,

00:07:49.360 and sometimes they'd ask you,

00:07:50.820 okay, I actually recall a moment,

00:07:52.180 pink or no pink?

00:07:54.380 Pink or no pink, okay?

00:07:56.720 And on your receipt, it would say pink or no pink.

00:08:00.020 Well, no pink, that's well done.

00:08:02.240 I know, but at Applebee's, okay,

00:08:04.300 it was sort of a simplification of like,

00:08:07.920 okay it was a dividing line so i think what you got to do this was red baby yeah if you want pink

00:08:16.420 if you can live with pink meat on the inside you cut it open and it's pink ain't red but it's pink

00:08:21.900 yeah right is that good enough you think that's rare enough to not risk whatever yeah then i think

00:08:29.240 you say to these people it's tough how long ago was this other burger order this was weeks ago

00:08:35.040 And I have another I've got another wrench to throw in the system. Yeah. So whenever I call for room service, talk to a person. I know by voice there's someone who works at the front desk. I haven't dealt with her often, but whenever she picks up and I say, hi, I'd like to please place a room service order. She goes, you can do that online.

00:08:53.860 okay my heart breaks in two and one time i was in a i was you know emotional something and i was

00:09:00.420 like is there any way i could just put because i had no it was so simple i just was ordering

00:09:04.120 like this like i just was like is there any way i could just tell you right now because by the way 0.91

00:09:08.040 it's fucking depressing as cock to scan the qr card go in there here's all my information here's 0.96

00:09:13.800 what i want a credit card like it's a nightmare wait are you joking that no no you're saying 0.99

00:09:19.720 credit card yeah it's not like there's no on the room it made me confirm my code on the card I was

00:09:27.700 confused all right at least it was just code I could live with that but it was just code but I

00:09:31.640 I almost gave up and called back anyway so the point is do I call and I say in person hi

00:09:39.060 hi I wanted to get the burger medium last time was a bit on the pinker side no no last time it

00:09:44.660 arrived raw. I mean, arrived rare. Don't say on the pinker side. You say, I just want, you know,

00:09:49.920 you just go, uh, what I think of as a medium. I just want it pink on the inside. I think the

00:09:56.020 chef can work with that. Whatever pink on the, I mean, here's the thing. You're here for another

00:09:59.680 week or something, right? Yep. Close to it. I think this kind of, it's like, when do you take

00:10:06.340 the time to pull the boat over? Constant metaphor for me. I mean, you don't pull boats over, but

00:10:12.740 whatever fucking beach the boat whatever to fix the boat and when do you just patch it and keep

00:10:19.460 on riding right when's it worth it right so when's it worth it to go meta here to jump up a level to 0.90

00:10:26.200 talk about the overall system what do you guys call me yeah when do i patch it when do it yeah

00:10:30.440 okay i mean this is a bold let me just i'm just working through it say is it the same chef every

00:10:35.300 every day oh okay i just want a burger it's pink on the inside pink all the way through

00:10:41.840 not red pink i'm i'm feeling like i'm just gonna do medium well

00:10:46.800 i just think this is like well here's a struggle here's a thing jacqueline the person answering

00:10:54.360 the phone is at the front desk they're not in the restaurant right so i'm asking someone the

00:10:57.760 front desk like i mean i assume they've experienced with the burgers but i'm like

00:11:01.200 hey, how medium is the medium?

00:11:04.100 Do you know what I mean?

00:11:04.500 It's always the front desk.

00:11:05.360 There's no putting you through to...

00:11:07.020 It's strange.

00:11:08.040 Only a couple of times have I been put through.

00:11:09.920 Yeah, there's always something like a little worrisome

00:11:12.380 when you recognize that like you're ordering room service

00:11:16.200 through someone that has someone standing in front of them

00:11:19.620 trying to check in.

00:11:20.700 Yeah.

00:11:22.040 It's like, I'm curious though,

00:11:24.100 does the online ordering,

00:11:26.160 and I know you don't want to do it,

00:11:27.560 have options.

00:11:28.320 Ooh, does it actually allow for more?

00:11:29.880 More language.

00:11:30.820 You can write comments in.

00:11:31.720 That's what I'm saying.

00:11:32.040 You can write comments in.

00:11:33.440 I can write comments in.

00:11:34.180 Because my one problem with the one hotel, okay,

00:11:37.720 is that if you try to do their,

00:11:39.940 through their app, order food,

00:11:41.580 there is no space for substitutions of any kind,

00:11:44.520 comments of any kind.

00:11:45.360 Literally can't even put in,

00:11:46.500 I'm allergic to.

00:11:47.960 Ooh.

00:11:48.440 You know, so.

00:11:49.120 You got to fix that.

00:11:49.960 Yeah, that's my one piece of useful,

00:11:51.360 constructive feedback.

00:11:52.680 Yeah.

00:11:54.640 So I think online,

00:11:55.980 you know what I'm laughing about?

00:11:57.180 Imagining, including the comments,

00:11:58.760 a link to a visual.

00:11:59.860 what you want.

00:12:02.600 Upload image.

00:12:03.840 It's like the inside of a burger.

00:12:06.320 I'm ordering it.

00:12:07.800 You link to a scale.

00:12:08.940 You link to like a uniform

00:12:11.400 like chef's scale.

00:12:13.700 You're like,

00:12:14.260 this is the scale upon which I'm ordering.

00:12:16.260 You see what I'm saying?

00:12:17.020 Yeah.

00:12:17.280 I'm according to this schema. 0.87

00:12:18.580 I'll take what the U.S.

00:12:20.760 Chef's Association refers to as a medium.

00:12:22.120 Wait, so I need a little more help.

00:12:23.120 I need a little more help.

00:12:24.020 Let's pull back to your plan.

00:12:24.720 What do I say in the comments?

00:12:25.760 I select medium and then I say

00:12:27.200 just pink on the inside.

00:12:28.360 medium well not too pink no not too pink i thought you wanted pink what did you well here's a question

00:12:34.280 k last time it was too hold on it was rare was it red was it pink what do you want actually let's

00:12:39.720 start with that because i this is the question i'm looking it up online all right i want true

00:12:43.220 medium rare which to me true medium rare i'm sorry i'm sorry i want true medium i want true

00:12:46.780 medium true medium i'll order i'll order a steak medium okay here we go oh these pictures are 0.85

00:12:52.520 getting yeah okay okay oh interesting yeah the language of what true medium oh fuck let me guess

00:13:02.260 it's redder than you thought okay well i'm seeing a couple different oh wait this is a medium rare 0.90

00:13:06.260 i'm looking at i'm seeing a lot of different the real burger recipe okay hold on let's get a scale

00:13:12.020 burger cook oh this is nice okay this is interesting i got a decent image here i'm

00:13:20.340 I'm getting a lot of different information.

00:13:21.880 I'm sending you a couple things.

00:13:23.800 Wait, I just sent you the wrong thing.

00:13:25.140 Medium versus medium rare.

00:13:29.000 Because if I'm at a nice restaurant getting a steak, I order medium rare.

00:13:33.320 Let's just look at burgers for a second, okay?

00:13:35.120 No, because this is the conversation.

00:13:36.720 Burgers.

00:13:37.380 I found a chart. 1.00

00:13:39.160 Okay, let me look here.

00:13:41.380 Ew, I saw that exact picture.

00:13:43.180 So according to this, I want medium rare.

00:13:46.520 This is a terrible diagram.

00:13:48.180 Medium and medium well look almost the same.

00:13:50.340 What you just sent to me.

00:13:51.140 Yeah, but do you see one has a little pink.

00:13:53.540 Let me send you another one. 0.99

00:13:54.420 Okay, this one looks fucking... 0.99

00:13:56.100 No, this one's not... 0.99

00:13:56.860 I need photographs of beef.

00:13:57.440 No, no, you're right, you're right.

00:13:58.320 That one was...

00:14:00.120 This is what I want.

00:14:01.000 I'm sending you what I want.

00:14:01.940 You tell me what you call that.

00:14:02.220 Okay, hold on.

00:14:02.680 I'm sending you a good pic.

00:14:04.080 Oh, God. 1.00

00:14:04.620 I just sent it to my fucking family. 1.00

00:14:06.300 Jesus. 1.00

00:14:07.620 Wrong thread. 0.99

00:14:08.620 And there's fucking... 1.00

00:14:09.420 There's vegans on there. 1.00

00:14:10.960 And it's this picture.

00:14:12.380 You ready?

00:14:15.000 It's monstrous.

00:14:16.580 The vegans can take it.

00:14:17.720 They're fine.

00:14:18.160 Hold on.

00:14:18.780 Sent.

00:14:20.340 meant to syndicate by the way this picture rules this is really we'll post this one to discuss

00:14:28.440 meant to syndicate to discuss i want medium really sorry to all okay let's look at this 0.65

00:14:38.820 i'm starting to think i don't know what the fuck i'm talking about i'm sorry i'm sorry yeah well

00:14:44.500 there's obviously variants. So I'm looking at another image of a thinner. Is their burger

00:14:50.220 thick or thin? Unfortunately, it is not thin. It's a little thicker. It's not, it's not the

00:14:56.980 hell. It's not healthy, but it's thick. I mean, I know you, your favorite burgers are like, you

00:15:01.380 know, I know what you like. Smash burger. Yeah. Yeah. Lacy edges from Kate always.

00:15:05.860 Yeah. I prefer lacy edges. So the one I sent my family. What you just sent for me is medium rare.

00:15:12.240 sorry this is impossible for the listener no i don't care they're gonna get it all okay i've

00:15:16.240 just sent you multiple images okay this is so typical first of all what do i keep you just

00:15:22.240 sent me a picture of a burger you want okay not a chart with which we can like reference anything

00:15:27.640 it's just like that's what the burger cake wants you tell me you tell me what you bring it to my

00:15:32.760 chart what would you ask for if you wanted that yeah what would you ask for and i'll post that

00:15:37.860 I'd ask for medium.

00:15:39.560 Well, here we go. 0.99

00:15:40.700 That's what I fucking asked for. 0.99

00:15:42.020 But here's the thing. 0.99

00:15:42.900 Medium.

00:15:44.460 Honestly, that's like, to me, that's like, that's okay.

00:15:48.220 What you just sent me is the bare minimum of pink.

00:15:50.940 Okay.

00:15:52.200 Basically.

00:15:53.340 Okay.

00:15:53.560 So I'm, I'm frankly a little like unimpressed.

00:15:57.220 Two thirds of that burger is brown on the inside.

00:15:59.980 Yeah.

00:16:00.200 Okay.

00:16:00.440 I want the color that's in the center to be throughout.

00:16:02.740 That's, then that's a different thing.

00:16:04.820 Do you see?

00:16:05.920 Look at my chart that I sent you.

00:16:07.860 you see you see the medium that's closer now I know the grain of this me I'm really sorry

00:16:15.740 for everyone who doesn't I'm sorry for everyone who can't see but listen no I don't care about

00:16:19.500 that I was just I mean I you know Steve Martin okay he did visual gags on the greatest comedy

00:16:23.780 albums of all time so there you go um okay it's a really I think I think you want medium but the

00:16:29.800 one I sent you the disturbing one I sent my family that I bet the middle one looks a little too

00:16:35.840 pink for you.

00:16:38.640 See, this is interesting.

00:16:40.020 Yeah, and a lot of the mediums I'm seeing,

00:16:42.480 like it almost seems like…

00:16:43.520 I have an announcement.

00:16:44.200 The moment you get to medium well,

00:16:45.400 the pink disappears.

00:16:46.400 And that's what I'm scared of.

00:16:47.940 Okay, so you just want… 0.97

00:16:50.180 I want a bit of pink. 1.00

00:16:51.040 I want a bit of pink. 0.97

00:16:52.220 Bit of pink. 0.79

00:16:53.280 Yeah.

00:16:54.460 To me, it's like it goes from…

00:16:56.040 Call it pink in the center.

00:16:57.100 You can live with pink in the center

00:16:58.240 even if it's not all the way throughout.

00:17:00.540 Correct.

00:17:00.800 Because if you want to guarantee

00:17:02.240 pink meat throughout,

00:17:03.440 you're going to have to go medium rare.

00:17:05.200 I don't want that.

00:17:05.840 So, now here's the other thing.

00:17:08.160 Let's get real about it.

00:17:09.300 Okay, I want to know.

00:17:10.540 I want to know.

00:17:11.520 On this chart I sent you, what did you receive?

00:17:14.800 Rare?

00:17:15.340 I received rare.

00:17:16.320 I received pinker than that honey, the burger I got.

00:17:18.340 I got like bloody rare.

00:17:20.960 Okay.

00:17:21.620 Like brain material.

00:17:23.340 All right, so here's what I think you're going to do.

00:17:25.380 Here's what you're going to do.

00:17:26.140 You're going to say medium.

00:17:27.640 You're going to say, last time I ordered medium, it came rare.

00:17:30.780 Just want to make sure it's, imagine if you just said, I'm just laughing.

00:17:33.860 In the comments?

00:17:34.360 This chart.

00:17:35.840 if you go 140 degrees,

00:17:38.920 whatever it says here,

00:17:40.480 it's like the temperature of the meat

00:17:42.160 is like, you know,

00:17:43.340 it says rare should be cooked at.

00:17:45.980 I'm going to say medium

00:17:46.940 and then in parentheses,

00:17:47.720 I'm going to go,

00:17:48.860 perhaps medium well,

00:17:50.260 comma, not too rare, please.

00:17:53.220 I don't like that. 1.00

00:17:54.380 Fuck. 1.00

00:17:55.060 I think you need to say, 1.00

00:17:56.020 I want it medium

00:17:56.660 and you just say not medium

00:17:59.800 and you just go print.

00:18:01.420 See, this is hard.

00:18:02.480 I hate to say it.

00:18:03.460 I want you to know if there's one,

00:18:04.680 I want to know if there's a chef.

00:18:05.740 One chef.

00:18:06.600 There's not a chef who's there 24.

00:18:08.320 You're here for a week.

00:18:09.000 You're going to order a burger every day.

00:18:10.000 There's not a chef who's covering all mealtimes.

00:18:10.920 No.

00:18:11.980 Yo, who cooked this?

00:18:13.380 I want to know their name.

00:18:14.160 Okay, here's a question.

00:18:15.220 When they brought the burger back that other time, it was good?

00:18:18.100 Mm-hmm.

00:18:19.080 And did they say, we'll bring you back a medium?

00:18:21.220 Did anyone say anything?

00:18:22.220 Yeah, that's too rare.

00:18:22.980 No, no acknowledgement from the person who grabbed it.

00:18:26.360 Okay.

00:18:27.220 I'm doing medium well.

00:18:28.180 I'm just going to, I'm going to see what happens.

00:18:29.400 No.

00:18:30.320 No. 1.00

00:18:31.080 Bajacca. 0.99

00:18:31.400 Bajacca.

00:18:31.820 Medium well. 0.96

00:18:32.000 No, that's where you cross into no pink. 1.00

00:18:34.300 Bajacca. 0.83

00:18:35.620 no Kate Kate then you're operating on a system of lies and here's what I'm scared of here's what

00:18:40.080 I'm scared of it's codependent you're operating in a codependent fashion where you're here's what 1.00

00:18:44.180 I'm scared of I order medium I get in the shower ding dong here's my food okay oh cool it's fucking 0.87

00:18:51.080 rare again I'm starving and then that's where if you're unwilling to look at the culture and

00:18:57.160 address it from a meta perspective now that's the risk you're going to take we're going to give them

00:19:00.820 a shot here okay because if you order medium today say medium and it arrives and it's correct

00:19:08.300 then the other one was error and you can now believe that they know what a medium is okay

00:19:13.480 and then you can order medium from there on out you don't want to have some weird idea

00:19:17.740 going and who the chef's idea that the chef might not be the one from last time and now you just

00:19:23.040 heard about this woman who ordered medium but said it was too rare and then he gives you a

00:19:26.400 medium well because he doesn't trust that you even know what a true medium is. So here it is.

00:19:31.220 Here it is. You order a medium. I have to tell you something. Talk about breaking codependency.

00:19:39.220 I think for me today to stay well, I'm going to order medium well because I have a feeling.

00:19:47.040 And let the chips fall where they will. I have a feeling. A, like I said, I emotionally can't

00:19:52.840 handle it not being I'm I can't handle the food arriving and having to send it back down but you

00:19:59.520 can handle overcooked versus undercooked correct how do you feel I just think you're not getting

00:20:05.960 good data question do you see do I then call the front desk and say listen I'm not placing the

00:20:13.400 order online or do I say to them hi I just have a question you're me do you know the burger last

00:20:19.480 when I ordered the burger medium, it arrived quite rare. Do you guys tend to prepare your

00:20:26.300 things rare? I, first of all, look, if it arrives rare again, you eat your fries and they bring it

00:20:37.340 back. You say it arrives quick and then you know there's an issue. Listen to me. Are you ordering

00:20:43.480 online or not? I'm ordering online and I have to say something. I think that what I might want

00:20:52.660 by this chef's standards is a medium well. See, that's what I've been waiting for. Maybe I want

00:20:58.040 a medium well. This is where I've been wondering. You've been trying to push what you really want

00:21:03.160 through the rubric of trying to get the true medium where I have suspected for, I'd say the

00:21:08.180 last, let's get real. I'd say the last six minutes, I've suspected that you're discovering

00:21:14.160 through the chart that medium well is where it's out for you. I'm going to text you this. What do

00:21:17.140 you call that? What you want? You just texted me something you want? Yeah. What is that to you?

00:21:21.260 If you didn't have to look at the side, if you just said, if someone said to you, what was that?

00:21:25.420 I mean, look. What would you call that? I'd probably,

00:21:28.240 what would you call that? I'd probably go medium rare. I don't know. I'd be like.

00:21:31.900 You're kidding. You would call that medium rare? To me, that's medium. No, I believe it's a medium,

00:21:35.840 but I would sort of doubt

00:21:37.000 it really depends

00:21:38.120 on the establishment

00:21:38.520 Jacqueline

00:21:39.120 I'm asking you

00:21:39.840 if I ordered that

00:21:40.640 in a steak restaurant

00:21:41.540 if I ordered that

00:21:42.300 if I ordered medium

00:21:43.520 and I got that

00:21:44.000 I'd be very happy

00:21:44.760 but I'd look at them

00:21:45.900 and go

00:21:46.100 do you really know

00:21:46.800 what a medium is

00:21:47.600 if you got something

00:21:49.060 rarer than that

00:21:50.060 that would not be medium

00:21:51.100 and let's just

00:21:51.560 for the notes sake

00:21:53.260 so that people

00:21:53.900 can follow along later

00:21:54.940 we're gonna have to post

00:21:55.660 all of these

00:21:56.380 no we are

00:21:57.200 because there will be

00:21:57.820 people who want to

00:21:58.320 follow along

00:21:58.400 and we have to do

00:21:58.840 scratch and sniff

00:21:59.480 we have to do like

00:22:01.040 ordered

00:22:01.480 we have to do like

00:22:02.240 ordered imagery here

00:22:03.940 no exactly

00:22:04.460 that's what I'm saying

00:22:05.060 so make a notice

00:22:05.740 This is, this is the, Kate has just sent me the one that says mastering medium rare burgers.

00:22:11.120 We know which one is the family one.

00:22:13.040 That is not medium rare.

00:22:14.000 To me, that is medium.

00:22:14.660 No, it is to me too.

00:22:15.480 But I'm just imagining being in some place where they doubt, they doubt me as a woman.

00:22:19.800 Okay.

00:22:20.080 And they don't think I can handle it.

00:22:21.940 And so they overcompensate.

00:22:24.240 Again, like I said, what do you want?

00:22:26.920 I want that.

00:22:27.620 This is what you want?

00:22:28.440 Because that's not medium well.

00:22:30.400 That's medium.

00:22:32.000 So order a medium, see what happens.

00:22:34.480 and then tomorrow we live to fight another day.

00:22:37.320 You mean to tell me.

00:22:38.540 Because if you do this weird adjustment

00:22:40.360 where you're trying to offset

00:22:41.280 what you think they might do

00:22:42.320 when it could be an entirely different chef

00:22:43.680 and bringing in this story about the rare

00:22:46.240 and the whole thing becomes confusing, okay?

00:22:49.300 And then where are you left to order tomorrow? 0.98

00:22:51.280 What the fuck would you then order tomorrow? 0.99

00:22:52.900 You think you're safer tomorrow 1.00

00:22:54.000 than reordering the medium well?

00:22:55.500 You have to repeat your whole story?

00:22:57.260 No.

00:22:57.700 Here's what I'm going to do.

00:22:58.280 We need data.

00:22:58.900 You're ordering a medium.

00:23:00.000 No, because listen, I can't suffer.

00:23:01.980 The hunger is so strong that I can't suffer.

00:23:04.480 the reorder.

00:23:05.560 And I could...

00:23:06.140 I have a genius idea.

00:23:06.960 I would rather...

00:23:08.000 What?

00:23:08.340 I have a genius idea.

00:23:09.660 Utter extravagance.

00:23:10.620 I'll even pay. 0.91

00:23:11.600 Both?

00:23:12.780 Yeah.

00:23:13.880 See, I'll have one burger medium,

00:23:15.280 one burger medium well.

00:23:19.360 Listen.

00:23:20.280 See, that's where a chef probably

00:23:23.200 is really forced to...

00:23:28.520 You can't hide.

00:23:31.500 You can't hide when someone's got a comparison.

00:23:34.480 front of them the fear imagine praying that the two diners that like like a couple has ordered

00:23:40.500 food praying that neither turns the burger around to the other oh my god okay listen i order both

00:23:47.200 i'm not ordering both i'm just not i'm not ordering both listen to me listen to me

00:23:52.760 i'm ordering medium well educational purposes like i've and then you eat one later i'm gonna

00:24:00.620 order medium well it's not safe or something you gotta drop that in the stomach as i'm really

00:24:06.100 unclear on how long meat can sit no one's ever known you're ordering if you go officially they're

00:24:11.640 like five seconds like the fda whatever bullshit is like yeah if you order the medium well today

00:24:17.560 and it's it's a little too too done then i think you can deduce uh that okay guess what i'm changing 0.98

00:24:25.440 my fucking tune i'm ordering medium because that's what i want and i've never ordered a medium well 0.83

00:24:28.520 burger in my life i've always ordered medium and it's always right yeah so you do it you order 0.99

00:24:32.500 medium okay and then if it arrives rare again okay you go so i've ordered medium two times in a row

00:24:38.940 both times it's arrived rare i mean just just literally blood on the sheets okay so so do you

00:24:46.160 guys just tend to cook them more rare or should i should i adjust my order i mean it is what it is 0.85

00:24:50.900 you're ordering probably fucking 25 dollar burger yes it is every other day here but then your data 0.98

00:24:56.320 is clear another question do i call and have a face-to-face first voice-to-voice conversation 0.99

00:25:03.900 hey last time i ordered it was a little too weird no that that's that's gonna influence that's a

00:25:08.300 factor we can't control for right now okay i think i think i should order right now online let me look

00:25:13.240 right now medium i think it's actually cleaner if you order this one online medium you know why

00:25:18.720 yeah because if you order i don't know hey it's me okay and you order a medium and that person

00:25:24.400 remembers a guy they might go and last time she thought it was too too rare so and then then they

00:25:29.180 start compensating okay i have a question this needs to end in a standoff what happens you and

00:25:33.940 the chef listen me about what's real it needs to end with a packet you send down we go let's

00:25:38.480 agree upon terms here's what i need to know here's what i need to know if it arrives too rare

00:25:44.900 i just get another one okay i can live with that i'm doing medium okay because that is what i want 0.95

00:25:51.560 don't add any other anything i'm just okay i'm adding to the order hang on damn

00:25:57.840 they really do get you with room service oh they sure do they really shock and by the way i really

00:26:04.940 have not been doing room service i've done it well yesterday and today who cares yeah yesterday

00:26:11.320 once twice today but um you don't have to you don't have to you know no i know but this is where

00:26:15.880 they get you. This is where that's rude. You're making me write out all this. So, okay. I want

00:26:21.840 to be clear what's going to happen here. We're going to log off right now. I am going to jump

00:26:29.360 in the shower. That's going to renew me. By the way, the laughter has renewed me already. I feel

00:26:33.440 the veil of hell lifting. Even just the knowledge that the burger's on the way is lifting.

00:26:38.600 I feel happy too. You know why? I got to like solve and instruct and advise. You let me.

00:26:45.560 You really helped me, Jacqueline.

00:26:46.800 You know what's also funny?

00:26:47.480 I almost just wrote,

00:26:48.060 I just wrote 90210 as being my zip code,

00:26:50.500 even though it's not.

00:26:51.900 Just because it's culturally so.

00:26:53.100 It never has been. 0.92

00:26:53.920 All right.

00:26:54.760 Yeah.

00:26:56.480 90210.

00:26:57.220 They're like, that doesn't match.

00:26:58.460 I'm like, right.

00:26:59.320 Yeah.

00:26:59.940 Order status?

00:27:01.580 Okay, it's in.

00:27:02.780 So you're saying you're going to shower

00:27:04.020 and then you're going to go to the shower right now.

00:27:05.880 And then imagine if it arrives home in the shower.

00:27:07.760 That one happened.

00:27:08.280 Okay.

00:27:08.840 I love you.

00:27:09.440 I'm going to text you.

00:27:10.200 We'll meet back here.

00:27:10.980 Keep the door open.

00:27:15.560 ever feel like you're being chased by the marriage police?

00:27:19.240 Welcome to Boys and Girls, the podcast where dating isn't dating.

00:27:23.140 It's a full-on love triathlon.

00:27:25.740 A morning what-if, an evening maybe,

00:27:28.860 and a 3pm chai with a could-this-please-be-the-one.

00:27:32.640 Because in the arranged marriage universe,

00:27:34.500 you're basically on a sushi conveyor belt,

00:27:36.740 and like raw fish, you've got a shelf life.

00:27:40.420 And the wild part?

00:27:41.880 You're not just looking for someone you like,

00:27:43.600 You're casting for a mythical hero your entire family approves of.

00:27:47.460 A saint, a demigod, a unicorn.

00:27:50.480 I know because years ago, I sacrificed myself to this chaotic, soul-crushing tradition,

00:27:55.480 hoping to find love the correct way. 1.00

00:27:58.220 Boys and Girls is our absurd, cringy, heartfelt ride through the highs and lows of the Indian arranged marriage, 0.95

00:28:04.400 finally giving you the validation and healing you deserve. 0.94

00:28:08.240 Listen to Boys and Girls starting February 19th on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:28:15.760 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:28:19.440 It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea.

00:28:24.820 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Trainor, disappeared from a commune.

00:28:28.640 It was hard to wrap your head around. It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:28:33.600 No, I am not your guru.

00:28:36.820 And back then, I lied to my parents, I lied to police, I lied to everybody.

00:28:42.280 There were years, right, where I could not say your name.

00:28:45.260 I've decided to go back to my hometown in Northern California, interview my friends, family, talk to police, journalists, whomever I can, to try to find out what actually happened.

00:28:54.100 Isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies in the woods and not the obvious boyfriend?

00:28:58.680 They have had this case for 30 years. 0.95

00:29:01.440 I'll teach you sons of a** to come around here and my wife.

00:29:04.220 Boom, boom, this is The Red Weather. 0.96

00:29:08.920 Listen to The Red Weather on the iHeartRadio app,

00:29:11.540 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:29:15.720 The more you listen to your kids, the closer you'll be.

00:29:19.700 So we asked kids, what do you want your parents to hear?

00:29:23.720 I feel sometimes that I'm not listened to.

00:29:26.040 I would just want you to listen to me more often

00:29:28.000 and evaluate situations with me and lead me towards success.

00:29:32.100 listening is a form of love find resources to help you support your kids and their emotional

00:29:38.500 well-being at sounded out together.org that's sounded out together.org brought to you by the

00:29:44.640 ad council and pivotal crook and chase nashville chats with the coolest cat in country music he

00:29:50.140 is edgy he's fun he is chase matthew keith urban helped make him a global sensation last year but

00:29:56.200 it's his recent number one hit darling that put chase on the map and launched a fun and difficult

00:30:01.480 conversation about lovers who cheat

00:30:03.520 and lie. That's why I'm scared to get married. 0.53

00:30:05.720 You're giving me trust issues, brother. Crook and

00:30:07.640 Chase Nashville chats with Chase Matthew.

00:30:10.000 Listen and subscribe on the iHeartRadio

00:30:11.880 app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

00:30:13.760 you listen to podcasts.

00:30:21.200 After Kate showered.

00:30:23.840 The burger's here. I haven't looked at it.

00:30:25.700 Okay. My hair is wet from the shower.

00:30:28.040 Okay. I'm going to open it, okay?

00:30:29.660 Okay, hold on.

00:30:30.300 Wait, wait, get a visual.

00:30:31.380 Get a visual for me.

00:30:32.760 Oh, okay.

00:30:33.260 It's already cut in half.

00:30:33.960 Hold on.

00:30:38.680 All right, hold on.

00:30:39.360 Bring it closer to the camera.

00:30:40.280 I want to see if what I'm seeing is true.

00:30:42.860 By the way, I'm actually, it looks really good.

00:30:45.060 The fact that this is what arrived.

00:30:46.160 See, how useful is it that we ordered the same?

00:30:49.420 It's shocking.

00:30:50.060 Okay, let me just tell them what's happening.

00:30:52.820 So this, okay, at first glance, both me and Kate.

00:30:56.600 Okay, listen.

00:30:57.180 And I'm going to I'm going to want to see take take a high quality photo with your phone.

00:31:01.100 OK, I'm going to do it right now.

00:31:02.080 By the way, the burger looks delicious.

00:31:03.340 That's that's not even relevant.

00:31:04.300 This is a huge moment.

00:31:04.960 This is about data.

00:31:06.920 So these fries are seriously amazing.

00:31:10.340 I'm interested because those fries look, you know, these fries are like kind of like a croissant.

00:31:14.700 OK, I'm taking a bite.

00:31:16.500 Wow.

00:31:17.260 This burger.

00:31:17.760 Send me a photo.

00:31:18.520 I did.

00:31:18.980 You did.

00:31:19.660 That sounded like a lie.

00:31:22.360 It was a lie, folks.

00:31:24.060 It's a bald face lie. 1.00

00:31:25.880 And I don't know what the fuck 1.00

00:31:27.200 she thought she was going to get away with there. 0.98

00:31:29.580 Okay, send me a high-poly photo now.

00:31:31.600 I did.

00:31:32.040 Okay.

00:31:33.040 Let me get another bite of it.

00:31:33.860 I'm so hungry.

00:31:35.720 Okay.

00:31:37.400 Okay, so headline for those waiting.

00:31:41.240 It looks quite well done.

00:31:42.800 Yeah, this to me is actually medium well.

00:31:44.460 The fact that this came.

00:31:45.920 Yeah.

00:31:46.420 The fact that this came from the same order

00:31:48.420 is shocking as the other day reveals a lot.

00:31:50.760 No, this was medium well.

00:31:52.380 I guess it's okay.

00:31:53.060 I'm waiting.

00:31:53.600 I don't see an image yet.

00:31:54.640 It's coming.

00:31:55.200 oh it's good right yeah now here's the thing this is a bit to me this is this is not a thick burger

00:32:02.820 it's thicker than right this is not like a danny meyer you know this is not a shake shack this is

00:32:07.880 even the third the third of an insane burger which this is not medium though folks it's just

00:32:12.920 i think it kind of it kind of is though because according to our charts the only moment that you

00:32:19.320 stop seeing the color pink is when you get to medium well according to the charts we've been

00:32:24.320 looking at i mean i'm stunned but it's really good so here we go am i actually

00:32:32.220 see but this is what's so confusing so this is because now you don't know whether i don't know

00:32:37.520 what to do in the future i applaud myself for this data test but now you've jeff and you saved

00:32:42.420 me imagine if i ordered medium well it would have been well done yeah and just no but informationally

00:32:47.800 we've now ordered the same thing twice and received two wildly different things so there's only one

00:32:53.180 option for you tomorrow you order medium again we see what we get okay Jacqueline because if you

00:33:02.400 come to New York come to my room yeah I will order them together on air oh wow maybe I'll stay where

00:33:09.380 you're actually I don't know if I can afford it all right we'll see fabulous hotel merch sales

00:33:13.840 and I have to say something which is that Poog really saved me today and lifted me today

00:33:17.660 as it often does I would like to remark the beginning of the episode I was destitute

00:33:21.900 I was devastated. I was alone. I was heartbroken. I felt so sad. Aimless. I'm showered and feeding

00:33:28.660 myself. Two things are off the list, baby. Two things are off the list. And God, the power of

00:33:34.400 a shower just. Oh, God, the feeling of wet hair in a robe and this burger, though, I got to tell

00:33:41.760 you, good fixings on here. What do we got? I mean, I know you said. Wait, is that what am I looking

00:33:46.720 that pickle yeah an onion the red onion chopped very interesting I mean not chopped to a point

00:33:53.680 of absurdity but chopped to what looks like three quarters of an inch they're still in little stacks

00:33:58.660 like naturally I don't think I've ever seen a bun like this in my life so this is a as you said

00:34:04.020 what a pressed brioche so you're not biting into a big airy thing that you have to collapse inside

00:34:09.280 your mouth you're getting a buttery brioche flavor they've smashed it god I instantly feel better

00:34:15.540 am i seeing mayo yep wow which i didn't grow up like knowing i loved and then then came to 0.97

00:34:23.880 okay yeah this looks fucking good this is fucking good i have to tell you something 0.55

00:34:28.100 this is not a joke look i think this is this is the thing medium is always going to vary okay why 0.97

00:34:33.840 but if you want pink you cannot go above medium if you want any pink can't believe i've turned

00:34:41.540 in this. Pink? No, pink. Okay. So you can never order above a medium if you want pink. Now the

00:34:48.420 question is how much you're going to get. And that is what we've learned. And I really think

00:34:53.200 you got to come here and we got to order the burger together. Anytime you're like not sure

00:34:58.860 what's talking about poo, let's just play this game. Great. Yeah. Just say I try to like solve 0.98

00:35:02.200 things for you. It's great. I think it's great. Okay. I love you. Thank you for saving me. All

00:35:06.740 All right. Love you.

00:35:14.640 Ever feel like you're being chased by the marriage police?

00:35:18.640 Welcome to Boys and Girls, the podcast where dating isn't dating.

00:35:22.540 It's a full-on love triathlon.

00:35:25.140 A morning what if, an evening maybe, and a 3 p.m. chai with a could this please be the one?

00:35:32.020 Because in the arranged marriage universe, you're basically on a sushi conveyor belt.

00:35:35.960 And like raw fish, you've got a shelf life.

00:35:39.780 And the wild part?

00:35:41.300 You're not just looking for someone you like.

00:35:43.160 You're casting for a mythical hero your entire family approves of.

00:35:46.840 A saint, a demigod, a unicorn.

00:35:49.840 I know because years ago, I sacrificed myself to this chaotic, soul-crushing tradition,

00:35:54.880 hoping to find love the correct way. 1.00

00:35:57.580 Boys and Girls is our absurd, cringy, heartfelt ride through the highs and lows of the Indian-arranged marriage, 0.94

00:36:03.600 finally giving you the validation and healing you deserve. 1.00

00:36:08.140 Listen to Boys and Girls starting February 19th on the iHeartRadio app,

00:36:12.200 Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

00:36:15.160 This is Ryder Strong, and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:36:18.820 It was many and many a year ago in a kingdom by the sea.

00:36:24.220 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Trainor, disappeared from a commune.

00:36:28.040 It was hard to wrap your head around.

00:36:29.380 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:36:32.660 so no i am not your guru and back then i lied to my parents i lied to police i lied to everybody

00:36:41.480 there were years right where i could not say your name i've decided to go back to my hometown in

00:36:46.360 northern california interview my friends family talk to police journalists whomever i can to try

00:36:51.460 to find out what actually happened isn't it a little bit weird that they obsess over hippies

00:36:55.960 in the woods and not the obvious boyfriend they have had this case for 30 years i'll teach you 0.99

00:37:01.740 sons of bitches come around here and my wife boom boom this is the red weather listen to the red 1.00

00:37:09.300 weather on the iheart radio app apple podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts the more you 1.00

00:37:16.100 listen to your kids the closer you'll be so we asked kids what do you want your parents to hear

00:37:22.800 i feel sometimes that i'm not listened to i would just want you to listen to me more often

00:37:27.400 and evaluate situations with me and lead me towards success.

00:37:32.200 Listening is a form of love.

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00:38:19.400 One week later.

00:38:21.500 We've done the unthinkable.

00:38:22.720 there's been updates about the burgers and the people need to hear it this is now a week and a

00:38:28.400 half later yeah okay so i'm just gonna give it to you quick so that burger came that day and it was

00:38:33.860 perfect right all right finally happened yes okay so listen it came it was a true medium it was the

00:38:41.160 afternoon it arrived medium i was thrilled and by the way i was texting you throughout the day i was

00:38:45.240 like this is the key like a like a cheeseburger at three like it just really was perfect show food

00:38:50.560 for me, satiated through my show, whatever. To be starving in on stage. A couple days later,

00:38:55.560 I have two cousins, precious cousins coming to town and they're sitting at the Ludlow as well.

00:39:04.100 And I go, hey, why don't you come to my room? I'll get us room service dinner and we can just

00:39:08.700 have a cozy night in. Great. And I've been raving about the burger. I encourage them both to get it.

00:39:13.240 They go, great. And then I almost say, oh, it's been kind of a saga with the temperature. I go,

00:39:18.600 how do you like your burger?

00:39:19.360 They go,

00:39:20.200 they both go medium. 1.00

00:39:22.260 Oh shit. 1.00

00:39:22.920 Okay. 1.00

00:39:23.400 All right.

00:39:23.780 I was like,

00:39:24.180 here we go.

00:39:24.600 It was kind of been a thing.

00:39:25.500 And then I stopped myself.

00:39:26.220 I go,

00:39:26.920 nevermind,

00:39:27.320 nevermind,

00:39:27.620 nevermind.

00:39:28.020 Okay.

00:39:28.480 Okay.

00:39:28.660 Nope.

00:39:29.240 I don't get into it.

00:39:30.160 Did you say nevermind,

00:39:30.660 nevermind,

00:39:31.000 nevermind?

00:39:31.280 Yeah.

00:39:31.460 I think I was like, 0.89

00:39:32.000 this is ridiculous. 0.90

00:39:32.880 Like I was like, 0.91

00:39:34.340 Jack and I are obsessed with this now.

00:39:36.160 There's been this whole drama with this.

00:39:37.620 Okay.

00:39:38.240 So I call down two burgers,

00:39:41.240 medium.

00:39:41.920 I got a salad.

00:39:42.640 Okay.

00:39:44.440 Room service comes.

00:39:46.220 The salad and only one burger.

00:39:48.500 Very nice person.

00:39:50.340 I say, I'm so sorry.

00:39:51.200 We actually ordered two burgers.

00:39:52.260 It's a thing.

00:39:53.020 He goes, I'll go get the other one.

00:39:54.900 In comes the burger.

00:39:56.760 Off of the tray.

00:39:58.580 I'm looking at this burger.

00:39:59.820 Off comes the tin hat.

00:40:01.700 Okay.

00:40:01.940 Tin hats off. 0.99

00:40:02.860 The burger is fucking rare. 1.00

00:40:05.700 It's medium rare, but on the rarer side. 1.00

00:40:10.020 It's medium rare.

00:40:11.000 Here's what it is.

00:40:11.980 It's the kind of, and my sweet cousin,

00:40:13.980 they split that one because they're hungry.

00:40:16.200 And they're like, we'll split this right now.

00:40:17.460 neither of them can eat the center so they're eating the perimeter there's a solid like two

00:40:21.960 to three inches in the center they can't touch because it's that rare okay and I know I know

00:40:25.760 these cousins they can handle me I'm looking at a photo of it and I don't even see I see like

00:40:29.980 four centimeters of cooked meat essentially around the perimeter that's all like and all

00:40:34.320 the centimeters four millimeters okay so so I was like are you kidding me so I I call down um

00:40:41.420 oh no no the restaurant calls upstairs and they said we're so sorry we forgot one of your burgers

00:40:45.320 that burger will be comped the one that we forgot and I said oh no she was lovely I said thank you

00:40:50.480 so much I said you know and I almost I was like don't talk about the past because I was gonna go

00:40:55.800 you know a few days ago I ordered it I was about to really get into it and then I just said I just

00:41:00.260 said you know we ordered the burger medium and this arrived quite rare so maybe just make a note

00:41:05.580 and she said okay I'll make sure to have them leave that on the grill a little longer whatever

00:41:09.180 I'm sorry wait yeah stop we're not done here there's a lot to be said which is just the answer

00:41:14.400 Yeah.

00:41:15.040 Okay.

00:41:16.000 In New York City, fine establishment, the answer is, I'm so sorry we forgot your burgers.

00:41:20.840 Oh, this one's too rare.

00:41:22.320 Sending up two new burgers.

00:41:24.220 Wow.

00:41:25.900 And first of all, and this is bold, and I don't, I will answer for nothing.

00:41:30.320 I recognize wastefulness, whatever.

00:41:32.140 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:41:32.640 I'm just talking pure in the world of customer service.

00:41:35.120 Okay.

00:41:35.760 All things equal otherwise.

00:41:38.120 No one's heard this.

00:41:38.780 I think it's next level.

00:41:39.780 Are you ready?

00:41:40.100 that like the experience that was promised

00:41:43.760 was ruined, okay?

00:41:46.260 Like one person having to wait,

00:41:48.960 the other person having to start their meal or split it.

00:41:50.560 Oh no, it was agony.

00:41:51.500 They're both hungry.

00:41:52.260 They're having to split the burger.

00:41:53.960 I would refuse.

00:41:55.380 I would, like that kind of behavior.

00:41:57.420 Wow.

00:41:57.680 Like I'd be like, I'd be like, you have it.

00:41:59.860 Wow.

00:42:00.480 I don't care how hungry I am.

00:42:01.740 I didn't get into the burger ordering

00:42:04.040 so there could be a plate that was like,

00:42:06.280 like sort of neither mine nor theirs.

00:42:08.500 Yeah, that's devastating.

00:42:09.280 Okay.

00:42:09.440 We're not kittens at a mother's belly.

00:42:14.080 All right.

00:42:15.160 So then we're hanging out.

00:42:18.520 Little time passes.

00:42:19.760 I'm going, I'm depressed in my head.

00:42:21.140 I'm spiraling.

00:42:21.960 I'm looking at my one cousin.

00:42:23.340 I'm looking at my cousins here, sharing a burger they can't even fully eat.

00:42:27.000 Fries are so delicious.

00:42:27.900 But I was like, Jesus Christ.

00:42:29.280 Eventually, thank God.

00:42:30.220 Doorbell.

00:42:31.760 In rise this other burger.

00:42:34.180 I should have not sent the person away.

00:42:36.020 I should have lifted the tin hat first.

00:42:38.460 door closes bring it over to the bed moment of i open the tin hat we look at this burger

00:42:44.080 when i tell you this burger was even more rare okay

00:42:49.660 my cousin remarked this is actually more rare yep again this is all going on the gram you can

00:42:56.480 follow along scratch and sniff style this is this burger is now this burger is raw i mean this

00:43:02.980 burger is a this is a rare burger okay um I'm really saying okay a lot like you I think I'm

00:43:09.840 starting it's starting to rub off you notice um okay so and then here it goes I'm watching them

00:43:16.720 my night's ruined because I here I am thinking I'm treating them to delicious burgers in New York 0.98

00:43:21.420 City instead your night's in the trash my night's in the freaking dumpster you think they're treating 0.98

00:43:25.500 them to a thing now they're eating now they're eating raw food um they're eating raw beef and 0.98

00:43:30.540 And so they eat around the perimeter and they're, they're so sweet and polite.

00:43:34.620 They don't even, like, I would be like, well, I need a whole new burger.

00:43:37.100 This is, this is what?

00:43:38.580 Seven bites of food.

00:43:39.560 Classic question.

00:43:40.260 When you're not hosting.

00:43:41.420 Okay.

00:43:41.680 When you're not hosting.

00:43:42.920 Right.

00:43:43.480 When someone's hosting you, you know, it depends.

00:43:46.180 Well, I'm so, I've now done the work.

00:43:48.220 The whole thing, they're going to be like, it's great, you know, and they're not wrong

00:43:51.340 to.

00:43:51.500 Maybe.

00:43:52.000 You'd have to, you'd have to insist, I think.

00:43:54.440 Oh, well, I did.

00:43:54.920 I was like, are you okay?

00:43:55.840 Do you want more?

00:43:56.440 Like, this is crazy.

00:43:57.220 And they're like, no, no, no.

00:43:58.100 So, so that happens.

00:44:00.040 And I tell them, I go, if they think I'm paying for that other burger, they've lost their minds.

00:44:05.760 You know, I was like, I'm not, I'm not, I was like, I'll deal with that in court.

00:44:09.400 I'll deal with that in post.

00:44:10.880 So then a couple days pass, a few days pass.

00:44:15.620 I arrive at another day where I'm starving in the afternoon.

00:44:19.320 I go, guess what I'm going to do?

00:44:20.180 Wait a second.

00:44:21.200 What?

00:44:21.740 Sorry.

00:44:22.280 Huge.

00:44:22.640 Okay.

00:44:23.080 The cousins, wait, I think I'm realizing something.

00:44:25.740 The cousins ordered at night, right?

00:44:27.900 Yeah.

00:44:28.280 Okay.

00:44:28.580 no no i know this is the question again night chef night chef versus day chef so you have

00:44:34.120 we have yeah exactly so this is the afternoon i go two raws at night two raws at night no no honey

00:44:39.780 three raws at night the first initial raw that i sent back right so so it's the afternoon i go well

00:44:46.960 i've had good luck in the afternoon with that one medium burger was perfect so i go let's roll the

00:44:51.700 ice. I order a medium burger. It arrives. And by the way, good for you, keeping your part

00:44:58.900 consistent. Continue to order mediums because otherwise you have no case. I know. It comes.

00:45:06.980 The tin hat flies off. I open the burger. It's a little well done for my taste. This is not medium.

00:45:14.720 this is medium well

00:45:16.540 this is medium well

00:45:18.060 this is a textbook medium well

00:45:21.100 and something went wrong

00:45:22.160 there was chaos at the grill

00:45:23.080 because the fries were a little burnt

00:45:24.760 and the bun was a little burnt

00:45:26.160 so I was like someone

00:45:27.240 I think you sent me that one

00:45:28.640 and then we had a discussion

00:45:30.480 yeah but the fries have been so exceptional

00:45:32.840 I'm looking at it

00:45:33.680 are those sweet potato fries?

00:45:36.840 or they're just that burnt?

00:45:38.400 okay in a good way

00:45:39.420 okay

00:45:39.700 no

00:45:40.260 so I get a text from you

00:45:41.780 this is medium well not medium I'd say

00:45:44.720 Now, I'm a little rogue, and I go, I think that's the medium you've been asking for.

00:45:48.520 That's medium well.

00:45:49.000 That almost looked to me like what I thought you were kind of looking for in those earlier

00:45:53.500 pictures from Google.

00:45:54.720 But looking at it today, I go, yeah, yeah, I'm with you.

00:45:58.740 But again, it's this question.

00:45:59.780 I have to look it up again.

00:46:01.360 Pink or no pink?

00:46:03.020 Where's the line drawn?

00:46:05.200 I think no pink equals well done.

00:46:07.240 Anything in the medium spectrum is going to be a little pink in there.

00:46:10.000 I have to revisit the original diagram, but anyway.

00:46:12.660 The burger that I got that one afternoon, that was true medium, and that was heaven.

00:46:18.280 And so that burger comes well done. 0.99

00:46:20.200 I'm like, fucking hell, or medium well. 0.99

00:46:22.380 I still eat it, of course, but it is absolutely dry. 0.99

00:46:25.220 Like, this is too well done.

00:46:28.060 The point is, when I checked out, I just said, oh, there was kind of a thing with one of the burgers.

00:46:33.520 The point is, I didn't pay for the cousin burgers, but I still paid for the medium well.

00:46:39.660 I just didn't want to get into it.

00:46:41.020 but I mean

00:46:42.980 what do I do

00:46:43.440 do I write a letter

00:46:44.120 no here's what we do

00:46:46.000 unfortunately

00:46:46.760 here's what I'll say

00:46:47.900 no here's what I'm

00:46:48.700 desperate for

00:46:49.320 you to come to New York

00:46:50.560 and we order

00:46:52.260 medium

00:46:53.380 well what do we do

00:46:54.860 we order

00:46:55.240 what we really should do

00:46:57.300 is order medium

00:46:57.960 or medium

00:46:58.540 and medium well

00:46:59.340 we order three burgers

00:47:00.680 and then

00:47:01.160 we order three

00:47:01.720 and then

00:47:02.580 we force a challenge

00:47:03.840 and we

00:47:04.240 oh and we

00:47:04.820 yeah and we go

00:47:05.880 can you just label them for us

00:47:07.520 okay

00:47:07.780 so they better like

00:47:08.800 write on the tin hat

00:47:09.720 just like in a

00:47:11.020 dry erase marker like what it is and then we open it up and we do it okay you see that's

00:47:17.800 very interesting if you're forced to provide a series of degrees right if you're forced to

00:47:23.340 create your own comparison that is a very specific challenge however though actually

00:47:27.120 it's not that specific a challenge you know why because they throw three burgers on the 0.89

00:47:31.120 fucking grill right they stagger when they take them off and those will in theory the 0.94

00:47:36.720 cook surfaces even should have i mean so i made it seem like it was this trying to shoot an arrow 0.98

00:47:42.900 into like the thimble 60 feet away you know what i mean yeah but i guess it's actually like literally

00:47:48.140 not it's like you take one off first you wait yeah 30 seconds or whatever take it off okay so

00:47:53.880 there's that let me just take a second with this another thing one i think i did an announcement

00:47:58.400 like i'm coming to new york and then announced the dates uh venue fell through at cherry lane

00:48:03.860 I have found a new venue and when this comes out it'll be announced I'm doing it at the cutting

00:48:11.060 room for like three nights what dates um the 5th through the 7th okay great hopefully we can do a

00:48:17.860 burger night there okay so yeah I felt like you went you fell silent on me once you found out I

00:48:23.120 wasn't coming to New York like this week or whatever I was like her interest in me has dropped

00:48:27.780 no I just really want us to have the burger experience and I think the listeners need it

00:48:32.860 But so, okay, so let me just take it back. 0.95

00:48:35.820 So I want to take it back to just the thing about trying to get shit free. 0.95

00:48:40.180 It's like, I kind of think there's not much you can do when it comes to cook temperature 0.99

00:48:45.360 and restaurant in terms of like, I think you can send shit back in the moment and ask 0.91

00:48:52.140 for it to be adjusted. 0.96

00:48:53.100 But I think like the art of food is too wiggly.

00:48:59.420 I don't know.

00:48:59.820 a chef could argue that

00:49:02.740 this is what I believe a medium is

00:49:04.480 you know it's like I just think it's

00:49:06.660 unfortunately beyond the realm

00:49:07.820 that's why I took photography

00:49:10.060 of it because I was like no one would dispute this

00:49:12.540 no one there's no world where someone would

00:49:14.620 look at that and say that's medium

00:49:15.680 no totally totally I mean

00:49:18.280 that's the thing it's like

00:49:19.400 but for some reason

00:49:21.640 I'm

00:49:23.440 like I mean it's also

00:49:26.660 probably like a $40 burger because it's room

00:49:28.640 service. Oh, honey. It's absolutely 40. With the fees and the whatever, it's like a $28 burger.

00:49:35.120 And with everything else, it comes to 40. I just realized like, okay, you're talking about the

00:49:40.020 night shift versus the day shift. I was like, maybe the night shift's not like, he's like,

00:49:44.060 I'm like, he's in the dark down there. I'm like, he needs to turn a light on. He can't see the

00:49:48.220 meat. Okay. He's got yes to see. And then I realized like, I always picture the same kind

00:49:54.160 of kitchen as being like where room service comes from even though it's not it's obviously coming

00:49:59.440 from the restaurant in the hotel right I've always picked her a basement steam rising yeah

00:50:07.440 and then just like okay they've like yeah like just this dark I don't know it's a very specific

00:50:12.000 thing anyway so it's the kitchen I got um yeah okay so that's that's it and I'll say I had another

00:50:21.820 I had a recent burger, I mean, this is months ago, a high-end restaurant, very high-end restaurant, burger, medium. 0.71

00:50:28.540 It was too fucking rare, okay? 0.68

00:50:30.480 So something's going on at these places. 0.97

00:50:34.640 You know, I've told you about the time that my mother's steak didn't arrive.

00:50:38.080 Of course, my whole meal was ruined.

00:50:39.040 We went out to dinner, like an expensive.

00:50:41.240 Yeah, I mean, that is...

00:50:42.380 And they still charged?

00:50:43.700 Yeah, and they, 15 minutes later, her steak, she's sitting there, we're like offering her bites of ours.

00:50:51.020 or like, here, mom, you want to split our steak?

00:50:53.180 I mean, this is like a snooty steak restaurant.

00:50:56.480 I mean, when you like go out to one of those,

00:50:58.460 it is not cheap and you are in for an experience.

00:51:01.180 And then to just, we forgot your steak

00:51:03.400 and then to be defensive about it

00:51:05.900 and then to deliver it to her.

00:51:07.720 I think actually like it became a thing,

00:51:10.160 like just deliver it to it,

00:51:11.220 I guess, give it to us in the to-go box.

00:51:13.060 I don't, so it's like,

00:51:14.500 it's like we're buying meat for the next day.

00:51:17.880 That's unacceptable.

00:51:18.700 And that's not what you're paying for.

00:51:19.900 Go to the butcher for that.

00:51:21.020 I remember I continue to return to it. I continue to return to it as. I don't know. I think if you're that I mean, I just I just believe that the fan you get for life and the word of mouth you get for life when you like literally like comp a meal.

00:51:38.140 There it is. Like due to make it right, like due to when you make it right.

00:51:43.500 So right. Life long. But anyway, I was sent an appetizer from the kitchen the other night.

00:51:51.020 Really?

00:51:51.840 At a corner bar.

00:51:53.380 Oh, really?

00:51:54.220 When I tell you, I was like, well, guess what?

00:51:57.420 I'll be here twice a week for the rest of my life.

00:52:02.020 Nice.

00:52:02.420 From one comp, from one starter. 0.99

00:52:05.460 Fucking jalapeno popper. 0.99

00:52:06.520 This is from the kitchen? 1.00

00:52:07.400 Okay.

00:52:07.620 Really?

00:52:08.480 Well, now I'm here.

00:52:09.820 Now you just got me for life.

00:52:12.660 You just got me.

00:52:14.220 Okay.

00:52:14.840 Yeah.

00:52:15.120 Six squash blossoms and it's done.

00:52:19.160 All right.

00:52:19.400 Well, that's the burger update.

00:52:20.620 Thanks, everyone.

00:52:21.780 Thanks.

00:52:25.220 That was POOG.

00:52:27.580 If you enjoyed POOG, please subscribe, rate, and review.

00:52:31.340 If not, we will press charges.

00:52:38.480 When you feel uncomfortable, what do you put on?

00:52:41.820 Biggie.

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00:52:43.980 Because I want to get confident.

00:52:45.020 This is DJ Hester Prince's Music is Therapy,

00:52:47.440 A new podcast from me, a DJ and licensed therapist.

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00:53:08.520 This is Ryder Strong,

00:53:10.020 and I have a new podcast called The Red Weather.

00:53:12.480 In 1995, my neighbor, Anna Trainor,

00:53:15.020 disappeared from a commune.

00:53:16.280 It was nature and trees and praying and drugs.

00:53:20.220 No, I am not your guru.

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00:53:39.200 You know Roald Dahl. He thought up Willy Wonka and the BFG.

00:53:43.220 But did you know he was a spy?

00:53:45.500 In the new podcast, The Secret World of Roald Dahl,

00:53:48.440 I'll tell you that story and much, much more.

00:53:51.320 What?

00:53:52.200 You probably won't believe it either.

00:53:53.940 Was this before he wrote his stories?

00:53:55.640 It must have been.

00:53:57.080 Okay, I don't think that's true.

00:53:59.020 I'm telling you.

00:54:00.380 I was a spy.

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00:54:08.940 The more you listen to your kids,

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Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - January 24, 2023

Hungry, Naked, Need to Shower： Part 2 (Burgers)

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