Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - Interpellation

00:00:00.440 This episode is brought to you by Fatty15.

00:00:03.360 Fatty15 is on a mission to optimize your C15 levels to help you live healthier, longer.

00:00:08.220 You can get an additional 15% off their 90-day subscription starter kit by going to fatty15.com slash hags and use code hags at checkout.

00:00:19.160 Two best friends, both alike in dignity.

00:00:21.760 Nurturing phantoms and courting the muse. 1.00

00:00:24.040 The hag divines when something must die. 1.00

00:00:26.360 Yes, that was poog. 0.99

00:00:27.480 But this is huge. 1.00

00:00:28.920 The ego loves to see, but never to find.

00:00:31.860 It was Berlant and Novak the whole time.

00:00:36.500 Well, this is huge news.

00:00:38.620 What?

00:00:39.060 Hello.

00:00:39.800 I've been saying words wrong a lot.

00:00:43.220 One can't worry about that sort of thing.

00:00:45.420 Yeah, yeah.

00:00:45.940 I wouldn't, I would stop affirming the long COVID thing because you'll never be able to

00:00:49.480 prove that you don't have it.

00:00:49.840 I actually don't, I don't really, yeah.

00:00:51.260 You'll never be able to prove that you don't have it.

00:00:53.000 And so it'll just be something you, you know what I'm saying?

00:00:55.500 What code is this?

00:00:56.140 I've never seen any of this.

00:00:56.500 I know, I'm really, I know I'm really leaning into it, but I feel like it's really

00:00:58.820 important by the seasons have changed and i'm officially today i have a lot to say about that

00:01:01.920 today i felt well i have a lot to say about seasons changing and i officially realized today

00:01:05.040 i don't like summer i am not a child okay i'm not a child but my mother i aged into liking summer

00:01:12.600 okay so here's the thing i'm going hyperbolic as usual so this this weekend i had this sounds

00:01:17.840 dramatic one of the best weekends of my life okay what happened funny i don't recall being in it

00:01:22.180 okay well you were there you were there right before you were there thursday night was that

00:01:25.140 part of it a long weekend yeah i didn't hear you say long well here no here's what was amazing

00:01:28.920 about it a walked because because it wasn't so so hot i was able to walk for hours outdoors

00:01:35.060 for you it's really all about these long walks the promise of long walk and then sometimes they

00:01:41.320 deliver sometimes they don't we talked about that no no but this was on you this was literally like

00:01:45.020 walking from part of town to the other part of town and why because it wasn't too hot for fun

00:01:49.760 yeah were you wearing a visor is this about seasons yeah heat so the planet as we know is

00:01:57.440 getting more and more unlovable right so more so summer oh summer is a mockery now summer is not

00:02:03.520 summer summer is now something worse right so now the season's sudden shift life life returns i can

00:02:10.320 walk i can be outside you can wear a jacket on a heated patio and go like this everything's changed

00:02:15.140 and daylight savings

00:02:17.320 I don't want to hear 0.99

00:02:18.260 one more fucking time 1.00

00:02:19.400 oh push 1.00

00:02:20.660 clocks

00:02:21.380 a year

00:02:22.080 I mean

00:02:22.520 an hour

00:02:23.360 it's not an hour

00:02:24.480 it's three hours

00:02:25.400 minimum

00:02:26.700 what are you guys

00:02:27.420 talking about

00:02:28.000 oh we lose an hour

00:02:29.260 we've lost three hours

00:02:30.760 yeah because you mean

00:02:31.560 why

00:02:31.900 it's dark

00:02:32.800 why do you feel that different

00:02:33.760 it's dark at three

00:02:34.540 I mean I'm rounding down

00:02:36.620 but it is

00:02:37.400 it's 430

00:02:38.600 you start going well

00:02:39.220 better hurry home

00:02:39.920 I've stumbled into

00:02:40.920 I've stumbled into

00:02:42.260 a low mood

00:02:43.640 and I believe it is

00:02:45.140 You got to get the red, you got to get the red light blasting.

00:02:48.180 Well, you actually got to get the blue light blasting.

00:02:50.820 I got news for you.

00:02:51.860 I remember getting a sunlamp for a friend of mine, you know, or at least I can't remember

00:02:55.980 if I got it.

00:02:56.660 No, I think I did because I remember like, it's on your porch, the gift.

00:03:00.060 Okay.

00:03:00.280 Okay.

00:03:00.480 Yeah.

00:03:01.020 Sunlamp, Carex classic.

00:03:02.820 Okay.

00:03:04.320 You know, Carex can be noted later.

00:03:07.980 You know, anti-depression, right?

00:03:10.000 Yeah.

00:03:10.740 Got to be 12 inches from it right in the eye.

00:03:12.700 You know, got it from a friend, whatever, being like, you need this.

00:03:14.840 every morning same time it'll it'll reset your circadian rhythm it will cause you to later go to

00:03:21.480 sleep easier okay so so then i find out or she sends me a picture of her using it or whatever

00:03:28.280 for a week she's wearing her blue light glasses under it she's not getting it yeah okay took me

00:03:36.380 a second i was so shocked no okay but anyway oh by the way you know what i was doing last night

00:03:41.020 in bed on a screen on a screen trying to so do you ever do this okay trying to not have the screen

00:03:49.160 of course in bed okay so so so my phone is is like this normally it would be like me reading it

00:03:55.180 i turn it like this okay interesting okay so this is a slight angle i was doing that for a little

00:04:01.960 while and then this other thing i've had this happen twice now i don't realize i'm doing it

00:04:05.240 in order i guess to again protect an eye i'm letting the pillow completely cover when i am

00:04:10.360 I'm reading with one eye.

00:04:11.520 That's interesting.

00:04:12.220 And then I've gotten up to go to the bathroom, and it's like, boom.

00:04:15.700 And it's like, oh, it's like destroyed.

00:04:17.920 It's destroyed.

00:04:18.280 Yeah.

00:04:18.600 It's like done something wrong.

00:04:20.120 I was reading about blue blockers in bed. 0.96

00:04:21.980 In bed.

00:04:22.720 In bed.

00:04:23.340 I was reading about blue blockers in bed.

00:04:25.160 Blue blockers in bed. 0.92

00:04:25.840 I'm going, are they real? 1.00

00:04:27.120 I mean, not are they real.

00:04:28.220 Which ones are real?

00:04:29.720 Are the cheap ones real?

00:04:30.900 Yeah.

00:04:32.040 Because I feel like.

00:04:34.340 I'm never.

00:04:34.920 I'm going to say something. 0.99

00:04:36.340 I'm never going to do blue blockers.

00:04:37.440 I got huge news for you.

00:04:39.060 Okay.

00:04:39.280 I got huge news for you.

00:04:40.360 ready well i have a couple pieces of news strategist is better than the new york times

00:04:45.240 wire cutter and second piece of news free strat no it's not that's new york magazine and that's

00:04:51.240 new york times why are they both are new york but new no i mean they both have the city of

00:05:01.040 the new york and them no is it all owned one company sure new york magazine strategist

00:05:07.120 New York Times, the wire cutter.

00:05:08.280 Yeah.

00:05:08.800 Okay, now here's my thing.

00:05:10.560 Okay.

00:05:10.840 Remember the sweet home?

00:05:12.020 Buzzing?

00:05:12.340 Honey, I'm old.

00:05:13.620 Honey, I remember the sweet home.

00:05:15.000 No.

00:05:15.440 No, I'm not buzzing.

00:05:16.080 There's nothing.

00:05:16.500 The spruce?

00:05:17.620 No, the sweet home.

00:05:18.680 I don't know what that is.

00:05:19.680 The sweet home was a wire cutter offshoot about house stuff.

00:05:23.680 Maybe it still exists.

00:05:25.300 Oh, interesting.

00:05:25.980 And it became something else.

00:05:28.800 Well, but I just want to blow lines, okay?

00:05:31.500 Shock and be unforgiving.

00:05:33.100 Okay.

00:05:33.660 Strategist is better than wire cutter.

00:05:35.460 And strategist?

00:05:36.120 Yeah.

00:05:36.640 look i rely on it me too i used to but of course but what we can do better what do you mean i don't

00:05:43.660 know okay that's what our podcast is that's what this is okay wait um i'm not kidding i'm not kidding

00:05:52.820 it's not an hour diet savings time it's not an hour no so i'm trying to explain to you that i

00:05:58.240 have been even more brutalized by this okay light situation okay i've been absolutely my mood has

00:06:05.360 tanked okay i cried in my workout class had to leave early so again so dramatic yeah literally

00:06:12.500 again with you today you have a friend two criers in a row can you imagine

00:06:16.120 me both days i'm about by the way i'm gonna go ballistic and i'm gonna have i'm gonna have a

00:06:26.640 i've been saying this for no no conniption fit what is that i've been saying that around the

00:06:30.880 house. I've got a conniption fit.

00:06:33.160 1991. That is 87.

00:06:35.000 What does it mean? Okay. I say it

00:06:37.200 with full anger in my voice.

00:06:38.900 I can't believe. I'm going to have a fucking conniption fit. 0.99

00:06:40.720 I cannot. I cannot believe it. Okay. 1.00

00:06:42.680 Because that is. Is it like a gendered 0.99

00:06:45.000 it's like women is a hysteria thing? 1.00

00:06:46.520 No. I think it's more. I don't know. 0.83

00:06:48.540 Okay. But I think if we googled it we would

00:06:50.440 find out. Okay. That conniption

00:06:52.620 was a like

00:06:54.180 semi-medical term in like

00:06:56.100 89 that disappeared. Okay. Wait.

00:06:58.600 Conniption fit. Okay. Sudden outburst.

00:07:00.800 I looked it up.

00:07:01.460 Yeah, but what's the origin, right?

00:07:03.540 It's just something people said big time, I feel like, in the late 80s and the early 90s.

00:07:07.640 I'm going to have a conniption fit.

00:07:09.380 I know.

00:07:10.220 Wait, why was I saying that in reference to what?

00:07:12.120 That you were running around.

00:07:13.300 Oh, but I'm not.

00:07:13.980 No, I'm going to have a conniption fit if you don't take me to work out with you soon.

00:07:18.040 And by the way, we're on a ticking clock, sweetheart.

00:07:19.960 I go every day at 1030, okay?

00:07:22.780 I've told you, and it's not members only.

00:07:24.760 Okay, I told you I can get you in.

00:07:26.120 Okay, okay, okay, okay.

00:07:27.020 Or whatever.

00:07:27.620 How far ahead does it plan?

00:07:28.780 Two weeks?

00:07:30.160 No.

00:07:30.700 okay okay okay i need my life to change i can't do this anymore i need to change now i'm not

00:07:36.440 kidding this is bad in terms of what in terms of what no exercise is you just panicked and drew

00:07:42.300 the jewish star what are you talking about you gotta work mood yeah all of it fascia gotta move

00:07:47.420 gotta move gotta move gotta move okay all of it working out heart rate sweating yeah working out 1.00

00:07:52.040 well here's the thing you're telling me you're really is it really brain it's ass and brain 1.00

00:07:57.040 It's the ass-brain connection. 1.00

00:07:58.940 Well, you know what connects the two? 0.99

00:08:00.760 The tongue.

00:08:02.620 No, I mean, down is fine, to be clear.

00:08:05.080 I'm also worried about core strength as I age.

00:08:08.200 Well, who isn't?

00:08:08.800 For the back, for the lower back pain, which is actually minimal. 0.98

00:08:11.280 The point is, new ass by February, final answer. 0.98

00:08:14.160 Okay, usually it's January, okay? 0.99

00:08:15.860 I'm like, I owe myself the Valentine's Day.

00:08:17.140 I've told you a thousand times.

00:08:18.120 Here's the thing.

00:08:18.740 Here's what you do that you cannot do.

00:08:19.980 I'm going to do full-body nudes.

00:08:20.740 You talk about these 10-minute, you're like, I'm going to do a quick 10-minute flow, right?

00:08:24.780 Where you don't break a sweat.

00:08:25.980 I know.

00:08:26.500 Why even get on the mat?

00:08:27.440 It does something.

00:08:28.520 No, I know it does.

00:08:29.420 I know it's a depressive response to say, why even do it?

00:08:32.640 Okay?

00:08:34.000 It's like, do it.

00:08:34.860 It's better than nothing.

00:08:35.520 They're there at 10.30. 1.00

00:08:36.420 I can make that work, bitch. 0.99

00:08:38.060 And I'm willing to do 8.30. 1.00

00:08:39.640 I'm willing to do 6 a.m.

00:08:41.140 I want to change my life.

00:08:41.920 Let's not go crazy, okay?

00:08:43.000 We don't have two kids.

00:08:43.840 Well, here's the thing.

00:08:43.860 I need nine hours.

00:08:46.020 Nine.

00:08:46.620 Nine.

00:08:47.180 Eight.

00:08:47.300 Once again, it's not just like asking about grams of protein.

00:08:50.160 It's not just about hours, but quality of sleep, okay?

00:08:52.860 I know.

00:08:53.300 And so, get a whoop.

00:08:56.360 okay okay i'm serious i want them to be sponsors blah blah i'm not wearing mine right now because

00:09:01.660 it's in the wash ew okay i decided to wash it listen i need my whoop okay that will tell you

00:09:08.220 that will you then you'll know exactly what's going on and it is more bespoke than just x

00:09:12.700 number of hours i don't think i'm gonna do wearable technology it goes against my religion

00:09:18.660 no it doesn't okay your religion is bitching about sleep all the time so there's a solution 0.93

00:09:23.520 for people like you okay okay so so just shut your mouth and listen okay you just do it remember 0.97

00:09:32.540 how you resisted a backpack yes until i showed you i said i changed your life never wear a 0.99

00:09:37.280 backpack because that means i'll never have sex again and then you maybe have a little faith in

00:09:41.120 your own sensuality and sexuality that it can survive a backpack yeah that you're not it's

00:09:47.280 like it's like it's like having um you know a classic um what's it called uh like secure in

00:09:52.520 his masculinity right but it's like right securing your sexuality that like i can wear a backpack at

00:09:58.500 the airport i mean i i have that that's why i always look like i don't know all manner of

00:10:03.760 things i never think anything is going to dampen the sexuality well sure but the point is

00:10:10.660 the the 8 30 slash 10 30 but i'm never going to be so here's what i'm trying to say i i don't

00:10:16.840 either okay hey oh you'll be fun to do actually one time do as a joke what about one week do it

00:10:23.840 as a joke see what happens just forces up by the way because guess what someone's doing my hand

00:10:28.660 right now okay you and i 6 a.m every day yeah five days in a row yeah see what happens or do

00:10:34.740 you have to do seven that's actually really fun jane december i don't really want to do it i'm

00:10:38.960 scared i won't oh no well here's the thing let's just do here's what you need are you still starting

00:10:44.240 your days free as in what should i do now yes yeah it's literally so i spent almost a year right

00:10:51.340 and i almost want to look at the thing right a year or since you know january february i started

00:10:56.380 going in daily to work out and basically have gone with a every day you know and then things

00:11:03.200 get in the way but i just attempt it's like yeah life-changing okay that i in the morning i get up 0.98

00:11:09.320 And I go, get my shit together. 1.00

00:11:12.460 Holy shit. 1.00

00:11:12.920 I get in the car. 1.00

00:11:13.860 Oh, my God.

00:11:14.900 Then the workout just happens because I went, yes.

00:11:17.000 Do I occasionally run out crying?

00:11:18.140 Sure.

00:11:19.040 Okay, but rarely.

00:11:20.540 You know what I mean?

00:11:20.960 No, totally.

00:11:21.740 And then the day begins.

00:11:22.820 How about 830?

00:11:23.760 And that's just built in.

00:11:24.800 I like 830, okay?

00:11:26.220 Same with a 6 o'clock commitment.

00:11:27.580 What about 830?

00:11:28.260 830 is a huge revolution.

00:11:30.880 Well, this is what I'm trying to say, okay?

00:11:35.040 This is what I'm trying to say.

00:11:36.220 Coffee before?

00:11:37.720 I'll do it.

00:11:38.400 well i do do it actually you do i would have to do coffee before yeah i do coffee before or on the

00:11:43.660 way in an open mug resting on the console and then what you get into a hot room start moving

00:11:48.680 your body you don't have to excuse yourself to cry in another way

00:11:51.960 no i think your body will your body just goes not now i think well i do think your body adjusts to

00:12:03.880 the rhythms yeah of the gym yeah i mean but also i think why don't you get a better coffee

00:12:11.760 and take your pile of newspapers to the bathroom okay and your slippers take the post by the way

00:12:18.820 look at me my life's gonna change i need to do weekly what i'm trying to tell you weekly

00:12:25.640 i just i'm sorry i mean once a week get me in no every day for a week with you yes to go so this

00:12:30.620 is what i'm trying to be like and by the way this is what i've been trying to say you've been

00:12:33.500 saying after this one work project is done then you can start i know i got news for you sweetheart

00:12:37.140 there's no time to wait okay guess what when i uh uh was in a movie yeah okay i went before

00:12:44.400 oh you know what i really want to talk about today i'm sweating now because of the excitement

00:12:48.120 i want to talk about um canceling on commitments that's what we always talk about no i wanted to

00:12:56.880 talk about what happened to you oh yeah you said you wanted to talk about it but wait let me i'm

00:13:02.480 I'm going to go straight to the email, okay?

00:13:03.820 Let me just do this.

00:13:04.820 I could actually start crying.

00:13:05.840 I know.

00:13:06.100 Thinking about how my life would transform due to the movement and to do it with you.

00:13:09.980 To have that anchor, to have that best friend anchor there.

00:13:12.780 Now, I don't want you to freak out by the heat.

00:13:16.000 You know I go to the sauna.

00:13:17.140 I love it.

00:13:18.000 Okay.

00:13:19.080 I'm sorry.

00:13:19.400 I know it's intense, but I like the sauna.

00:13:21.640 You know what I mean?

00:13:22.020 Yeah.

00:13:22.200 I'm not someone who's like...

00:13:22.900 Yeah.

00:13:23.480 No, absolutely.

00:13:24.420 I mean, we've done...

00:13:25.680 It's going to be intense.

00:13:26.900 Yeah.

00:13:32.480 By now, no one should be surprised to know that this episode is sponsored by Fatty 15.

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00:14:00.680 Look, I did a little Googling last night.

00:14:03.040 People are going, get it in your fatty milk.

00:14:04.760 And I'm going, I'm off milk.

00:14:05.560 What if you're not drinking milk?

00:14:06.900 I'm off milk.

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00:14:50.260 Canceling on commitments.

00:14:51.340 Oh, yeah.

00:14:52.320 Oh, wait, I have an announcement.

00:14:53.940 Yeah?

00:14:54.160 so i for the first time this weekend one of the reasons why it was one of the best weekends of my

00:14:59.020 life is it due to the nice weather again i was able to walk with my partner oh i don't know all

00:15:04.140 the way across town to go to dinner it was unbelievable got into a fabulous restaurant

00:15:07.200 we're walking back we encounter a lime scooter which i of course have been way too afraid of

00:15:13.620 and you know front of house i can't i'm too afraid of i mean it's dangerous yeah yeah i mean all those

00:15:19.600 bike riders yeah we've known we've heard you know tragedies of people who have get their faces

00:15:23.020 It was ripped off, you mean? 0.99

00:15:23.580 Yeah, or fucking worse. 0.99

00:15:24.640 You know what I mean? 0.99

00:15:24.980 Right.

00:15:25.120 Like, it's so scary out there.

00:15:26.120 You mean the moneymaker?

00:15:27.240 Yeah, the moneymaker.

00:15:27.800 I just want to be clear.

00:15:28.360 Yeah, in front of the house, my face.

00:15:28.900 Yeah.

00:15:29.500 And then also just injuries, whatever.

00:15:30.940 It's terrifying, okay?

00:15:32.580 I've always been too scared.

00:15:33.600 I've always been like, even like, you know, my partner.

00:15:36.000 Oh, bike ride.

00:15:36.840 I go, you're not getting on a bike, sweetheart.

00:15:39.040 Well, certainly not without a helmet.

00:15:40.380 Well, of course not.

00:15:40.940 But even so, I go, no.

00:15:42.080 I heard an NPR thing once.

00:15:43.280 I don't even know if it was NPR.

00:15:44.260 I heard NPR.

00:15:45.340 Made up completely.

00:15:45.840 I don't know where I heard it.

00:15:47.340 I heard safest person on a bicycle.

00:15:50.720 Wait, don't tell me.

00:15:51.960 Safest person on a bicycle.

00:15:54.680 Go safest and then go most dangerous.

00:15:56.440 Most likely to get hit, least likely to get hit or whatever.

00:15:59.140 And what kinds of categories are we talking?

00:16:01.660 Okay, so I'll just say it.

00:16:02.500 You know what I mean?

00:16:02.700 Fine.

00:16:03.300 Person who's safest on a bicycle. 1.00

00:16:05.840 Woman slash girl. 1.00

00:16:07.320 No, sorry. 1.00

00:16:07.860 I'm doing a joke.

00:16:09.100 What do you call the guy who finished last in med school?

00:16:12.260 Doctor, doctor, whatever.

00:16:13.860 Yeah.

00:16:14.640 Okay. 1.00

00:16:15.840 Girl slash woman with a helmet. 0.99

00:16:19.380 Is it the most dangerous?

00:16:20.600 The safest because everyone goes, don't hit the kid.

00:16:22.940 Don't hit the girl.

00:16:23.640 Don't hit the little girl or whatever.

00:16:24.940 Oh, okay.

00:16:25.580 Most dangerous is man without a helmet. 1.00

00:16:27.940 Because it's like, fuck that guy? 1.00

00:16:29.760 Because it's just like, he's fine. 1.00

00:16:31.600 Give him a little scare, whatever.

00:16:34.540 It's like, there's a poo god. 0.99

00:16:37.020 Pigtails with a helmet.

00:16:37.940 People are like, don't hit the kid or whatever. 1.00

00:16:40.920 But if you're like, people are like, man, fine.

00:16:44.340 I don't know.

00:16:45.080 I don't know.

00:16:45.780 The point is, so I, out of just the joy of the day and the pure of the mercy.

00:16:51.740 Are those supposed to be, do you ride those on the sidewalk?

00:16:54.460 Is that what they're supposed to do? 1.00

00:16:55.960 No, honey, I was in the street, bitch. 1.00

00:16:57.600 And what are you supposed to do? 1.00

00:16:59.020 Well, you're certainly not supposed to have two people on them.

00:17:00.980 So it was two of us.

00:17:02.120 I was screaming with joy.

00:17:03.260 But.

00:17:03.820 But what?

00:17:04.640 Supposed to be in the bike lane.

00:17:05.320 Once again, you in first class, you know, birding it.

00:17:07.980 I know. 0.87

00:17:08.760 Bike lane is what you're supposed to do.

00:17:10.580 Okay, this is interesting. 1.00

00:17:11.520 Really.

00:17:12.060 So you're supposed to be on the street, right?

00:17:13.340 because sidewalk you can't be motorized on the sidewalk you knock people down people do it on

00:17:17.480 the sidewalk and i don't think that's good i think if there's if there's hey i don't think

00:17:21.680 that's cool either or i think if there's long long you know it's weird there's areas where 0.86

00:17:27.080 no one's on the fucking street but you can't be riding your your you ever have someone zip 0.93

00:17:30.460 past you on the sidewalk and you go i could have been killed it's very dangerous so picture me 1.00

00:17:34.240 sunset boulevard holding on screaming with laughter never been more more exhilarated in my life yeah

00:17:40.940 Well, I don't have to imagine.

00:17:42.320 I saw a video you sent me.

00:17:43.320 I sent you a video.

00:17:43.800 I'll show it right now.

00:17:44.580 Live from the thing.

00:17:45.440 I think it'd actually be fun for the group.

00:17:48.120 Because you'll hear a laughter in me.

00:17:55.920 That's a short one.

00:17:56.780 Maybe it doesn't translate, but the point is.

00:17:58.160 No, it does.

00:17:59.040 It was incredible.

00:17:59.500 I'm just thinking about whether or not I have the courage.

00:18:01.620 Also, ADD hyperfixation.

00:18:03.020 Yeah.

00:18:03.200 So I start going, okay, I need a helmet.

00:18:04.440 This is my new life or something.

00:18:05.460 But I also, I go, it's too dangerous.

00:18:07.140 It's too scary.

00:18:07.600 I can't get addicted to this.

00:18:08.540 Like, this can't be my life. 0.97

00:18:09.580 It's too fucking scary. 0.92

00:18:10.540 It's too dangerous. 0.95

00:18:12.060 It's interesting.

00:18:13.060 Didn't someone offer to send us e-bikes?

00:18:15.140 Does that sound familiar?

00:18:16.140 Sounds familiar.

00:18:17.080 Sounds familiar, doesn't it?

00:18:18.720 What is that again?

00:18:19.680 I'm going to find it.

00:18:20.440 I'm interested.

00:18:21.000 It's a bicycle that's also motorized.

00:18:23.840 Oh, electric.

00:18:25.500 I want a two-seater.

00:18:28.180 So you can just ride down off the hill, go to the little village.

00:18:31.500 Two-seater?

00:18:32.380 Do they have that?

00:18:33.620 Yeah.

00:18:34.500 Seems dangerous.

00:18:36.420 That seems dangerous.

00:18:37.620 Really?

00:18:38.000 Why?

00:18:38.500 I don't know.

00:18:38.900 two you go

00:18:39.620 look out

00:18:40.260 it's two eyes

00:18:41.440 four eyes

00:18:42.060 instead of two 1.00

00:18:42.640 this old Jew 0.99

00:18:45.260 when your voice 0.90

00:18:46.780 goes into that

00:18:47.400 curly caramel area

00:18:49.100 like 1.00

00:18:49.360 this old Jew 1.00

00:18:50.800 I'm imagining 1.00

00:18:52.180 okay listen

00:18:53.340 so

00:18:54.100 so I start going

00:18:55.300 so here's the hyperfixation

00:18:56.460 ride the e-bike

00:18:57.560 I'm sorry

00:18:57.920 the lime scooter

00:18:58.860 right up the hill

00:18:59.680 park it in front of the house

00:19:01.340 yeah

00:19:01.560 and I go

00:19:02.160 tomorrow morning

00:19:03.260 well to ride it up a hill

00:19:04.380 I'm gonna ride it down the hill

00:19:04.720 slow

00:19:05.500 it was slow

00:19:06.220 no but it helps you

00:19:07.580 clearly

00:19:07.920 yeah

00:19:08.140 oh yeah two of us could it go up a steep hill you had to push a little bit it gets pretty steep

00:19:13.500 to yeah to where i am so but she's living at the top of the world let's just say it's a little

00:19:18.320 steeper but um okay so next day i have video of what happened next oh yeah you're going down a

00:19:26.880 hill it looked like los angeles i dreamed of no no it's it's actually an unbelievable image and

00:19:32.260 it's me and i literally said i said to my my partner i was like we were going to meet someone

00:19:37.840 i go i want to ride the lime scooter down the hill because it has to be recharged whatever

00:19:41.740 i want you to follow me in the car kind of protective that's how we got that footage

00:19:46.980 that's how we got and that's why that footage looked utterly cinematic they took the footage

00:19:50.480 it's fabulous i'll post it on the instagram yeah i am yeah i gotta get on one thrilled now because

00:19:55.160 you told me about your time on the lime okay i was driving from ikea i'll tell you about that later

00:20:00.080 okay and i saw like some kind of little motorcycle something small something manageable not one of

00:20:06.820 those big things it's no no you go what the hell is that kind of a thing smaller than a vespa okay

00:20:11.320 like it almost looked like a little bike but it wasn't an e-bike it was like a motorcycle from

00:20:16.080 like the 70s or something you know like i don't know it was like small and i was like i mean why

00:20:23.040 not why not like maybe that's my new life so scary i know well by the way it's unbelievable i have to

00:20:29.800 Also, though, being like eight years late to the line.

00:20:32.040 Imagine just driving yourself to another town like that in the open air.

00:20:35.240 Oh, I know.

00:20:36.080 No, are you kidding me?

00:20:37.160 Because identity, okay, identity, we think we don't allow ourselves, okay?

00:20:41.820 We think there's a certain kind of person who rides a motorcycle, right?

00:20:44.940 So we don't even entertain the idea.

00:20:47.500 But guess what?

00:20:48.520 I'm sure it's pure human.

00:20:49.600 This is what I've been wrestling with the last couple days. 1.00

00:20:51.920 Much like Seabobs.

00:20:53.160 Yeah, much like Seabobs.

00:20:54.440 Much like us coming live on Seabobs.

00:20:55.760 I'm telling you Jacqueline

00:20:57.520 the way I felt

00:20:58.420 on the Lime scooter

00:20:59.700 yeah

00:21:00.120 I'm getting a helmet

00:21:01.300 was it similar to

00:21:02.720 the Seabob

00:21:03.480 yeah

00:21:04.700 yeah

00:21:05.440 it's scarier

00:21:06.940 because it's just like

00:21:08.160 what else is motorized

00:21:09.060 and I worry about this

00:21:09.860 and I'm curious

00:21:10.300 listeners

00:21:10.720 you know it's really scary

00:21:12.240 because you're obviously

00:21:13.060 very vulnerable 1.00

00:21:13.600 you're on a fucking scooter 1.00

00:21:14.620 people opening car doors 1.00

00:21:16.700 you know it's scary

00:21:18.400 I mean it's dangerous

00:21:19.180 I don't know

00:21:19.700 I don't know if I can do it at all

00:21:20.620 I don't think I can do it ever again

00:21:21.520 actually now that I realize

00:21:22.380 I think it might be

00:21:23.000 I can't do this

00:21:23.660 it's over

00:21:24.520 I can't do it

00:21:25.080 it's too dangerous

00:21:25.580 Is that how you're going to go down?

00:21:26.700 I know.

00:21:27.540 And also, let's get real.

00:21:29.860 They haven't worked it out yet.

00:21:31.480 The whole bikes and cars

00:21:32.840 sharing the road.

00:21:33.460 I agree, I agree.

00:21:33.980 It is like,

00:21:34.700 it is fraught.

00:21:36.180 It is hostile. 0.99

00:21:38.240 And it's fucking murderous. 1.00

00:21:39.620 And by the way, 0.99

00:21:40.900 I think you're going to have to find

00:21:41.780 a new place to stay out.

00:21:42.480 I loved the Lime scooter.

00:21:43.780 Yeah.

00:21:44.400 I brought it up on the curb

00:21:45.720 to park it.

00:21:46.780 It lightly grazed my,

00:21:48.940 ow.

00:21:50.120 And I go,

00:21:50.540 that's kind of it.

00:21:51.560 A little scrape.

00:21:52.360 I go, I was injured.

00:21:53.140 I was like,

00:21:54.120 again,

00:21:54.480 lightly graze my ankle

00:21:55.880 a little scrap

00:21:56.700 a little scrape

00:21:57.580 yeah

00:21:58.040 no blood

00:21:58.940 but even that I go

00:21:59.940 imagine

00:22:01.760 I don't know

00:22:02.340 being injured

00:22:03.000 I don't even want to

00:22:03.960 you know what I mean

00:22:04.740 I go a little scrape

00:22:05.700 I'm just pulling it

00:22:07.060 onto the side

00:22:07.540 I go that's enough

00:22:08.460 and I know I've just been

00:22:10.220 saying how it's my new life

00:22:11.180 but now that I hear about it

00:22:11.800 no I'm just thinking about

00:22:12.980 life's too precious

00:22:14.220 you

00:22:14.500 you deserve

00:22:15.900 motorization

00:22:16.860 thank you

00:22:17.700 what about the e-bike

00:22:18.480 what about the e-bike

00:22:19.500 well again

00:22:21.500 you're just in the same

00:22:22.780 you're in this lane of

00:22:24.480 hostility. It's scary. The whole car door thing. I mean, the car door thing is I was doing the

00:22:29.200 chime because the e-bike has the line. I don't know about you, but a chime would not register

00:22:34.760 as anything but sounds of the city. I know. It's true. It's true. Oh, my God. Like, I can't remember

00:22:39.860 if I talked about it on this. But I like just extreme. So standing outside Starbucks, if I

00:22:48.000 talked about this, I'm going to hear it again. I don't know. But it's like standing outside

00:22:51.400 at Starbucks on my phone, right? Because I'm going to order Starbucks mobile and go in. So I'm there

00:22:55.620 and I'm standing there staring at my phone, blocking the door. Okay. Because that's something

00:22:59.160 I might, I could do. I'm not blocking it. Let's get real. Okay. I was standing there. Someone

00:23:04.000 could have gone around, but now I'm so in this focus with the sense that I need to go into the

00:23:10.260 Starbucks, right? That a horn beeps to someone else. Okay. A horn beeps at another car and I,

00:23:17.240 okay i'm prodded into action but into the starbucks okay by a car beating another heart

00:23:23.260 like i used it to motivate me into the the starbucks also what you're talking about is

00:23:27.800 interpolation which is a um phrase referring to being recognizing yourself as a as a object of

00:23:34.080 the state it's the classic thing forget who writes interpol also sorry whatever the interpolation

00:23:39.320 interpol i think it's called interpolation somebody writes this about this but it's

00:23:43.020 And it's talked about being a subject of the state, possibly the police officer.

00:23:47.540 Hey, you, you turn to a cop. 1.00

00:23:49.360 You're fucked, right? 1.00

00:23:50.380 Subjectivity has been completely demeaned by cops. 1.00

00:23:53.820 Because you, because you, wait, interpolate.

00:23:59.100 Okay, I'm going to need more.

00:24:00.500 I'm going to need more.

00:24:01.600 Pretty sure.

00:24:02.120 I mean, that's it.

00:24:02.840 Oh, no, I believe you.

00:24:03.280 It was almost like that.

00:24:03.940 You hearing the honk.

00:24:04.880 No, I was like an animal who just sort of knew that I better show that I'm keeping busy.

00:24:13.020 Yeah. Keep it moving. Like, I'm moving. I'm moving. Yeah. You know, and so but it also helped me. It was like just what I needed to. And I was like, that could be for me. You know, like I get into the Starbucks. I wait for like seven minutes. I go over. No drink. I checked my phone. Hadn't hit the final. I'd hit checkout, but not, you know, pay final. Yeah.

00:24:33.180 so i go oh my god this is hilarious i'm gonna write on my personal secret agd meme account

00:24:39.880 that i'm starting not memes but whatever yeah and i'm gonna write about this so i'm gonna screen

00:24:44.820 grab the starbucks right and show how you didn't i missed the thing because i see the thing it

00:24:49.860 says 60 in six to nine minutes and i think that means it's in the order's in okay it's more of a

00:24:55.560 if you order it right now it'll be in six to nine minutes okay so i'm okay okay whatever it doesn't

00:25:00.820 matter so i circle the thing i'm doing my little post another six minutes pass okay i go this is

00:25:06.820 right yeah go up to ask i go it can't be again right can't be again i didn't order it again

00:25:11.940 okay so while i was doing a post about not ordering you didn't first time i once again

00:25:17.360 didn't so this time i go you know i go i'm going up to the front something's missed because i keep

00:25:21.800 it in checkout okay yeah and then i go up and it's like literally like there's something wrong

00:25:25.880 here because when i hit check out oh you know immediately see a button i scrolled i was in a

00:25:31.640 situation waiting the other day right five hours i was on my phone and i kept going i'll start

00:25:37.080 reading in a second i could use this time to you know write some jokes i could use this time yeah

00:25:41.460 five hours and yeah do you get the screen time thing where it tells you how much i don't want 0.95

00:25:46.460 to look at that shit it tells me i think i must have asked i don't believe you tell me it's like 0.97

00:25:50.200 It's like steps. 0.99

00:25:51.380 It's like, you took this many steps.

00:25:52.860 I'm like, I don't think so.

00:25:54.020 No.

00:25:55.520 I mean.

00:25:56.460 Because what's it measuring?

00:26:00.460 Well, I think the tag is a little better than that.

00:26:03.500 Okay, okay.

00:26:04.060 I think it's a combo of, you know, GPS and.

00:26:06.980 But wait, wait.

00:26:07.600 Five hours Instagram.

00:26:09.780 I got fed the same ad for this thing.

00:26:11.660 I feel like you probably have to.

00:26:12.960 It's a serum that comes in a roller, depuffer. 0.80

00:26:14.900 I see this woman.

00:26:16.040 She's like a dermatologist. 0.98

00:26:17.020 I'm seeing stamp.

00:26:18.240 I'm getting stamp a lot.

00:26:18.960 I got the stamp thing too. 0.98

00:26:19.880 but this woman 1.00

00:26:20.700 she's doing this 1.00

00:26:21.320 like see cure 0.83

00:26:21.840 or be cured 1.00

00:26:22.500 I go fuck it 1.00

00:26:23.240 I'll buy it 1.00

00:26:23.760 like it worked on me

00:26:24.500 just cause I kept

00:26:25.120 saying I go fine

00:26:26.540 I'll buy it

00:26:27.500 yeah

00:26:28.160 honey

00:26:28.520 yeah

00:26:29.660 that's how much

00:26:30.360 it worked on me

00:26:31.320 literally fine

00:26:31.940 I'll buy it

00:26:32.500 I go I go fine 0.99

00:26:33.480 fuck okay sure 0.99

00:26:34.680 did it stop serving it 1.00

00:26:36.220 to you at that point

00:26:36.880 yeah

00:26:37.660 I think so

00:26:38.840 I don't know

00:26:39.320 I'm a little excited

00:26:40.280 to get it

00:26:40.640 I gotta be honest

00:26:41.120 with you

00:26:41.300 I want the stamp

00:26:43.420 de-puffer

00:26:44.240 I want the stamp

00:26:44.960 it's like a rolling thing

00:26:45.480 I don't feel like I

00:26:46.360 not hygienic

00:26:49.460 No, no, just.

00:26:51.600 Gimmick?

00:26:52.860 No, just rolling.

00:26:54.320 I saw her. 0.99

00:26:55.080 I saw her.

00:26:55.580 She goes, she goes, this will de-puff you. 0.99

00:26:57.940 And she goes, she goes one, she goes one side of her face. 0.99

00:26:59.820 She goes, boom, boom, over the eyes. 1.00

00:27:01.740 Boom, boom, boom. 0.99

00:27:02.680 I told you I'm taking two.

00:27:03.780 I'm taking a red eye like next week and then another.

00:27:06.580 And I go, I need this for my red eye.

00:27:09.000 Yeah.

00:27:09.160 I go, I got to land.

00:27:11.020 Fresh.

00:27:11.920 I was pushing myself arriving, waking up.

00:27:14.240 Yeah.

00:27:14.580 My flight 6 a.m.

00:27:15.640 New York.

00:27:18.100 Getting off the plane.

00:27:19.180 So you want to get off looking sharp?

00:27:21.540 I mean, like, or is there a reason?

00:27:23.080 I thought maybe I'd roll it on after.

00:27:25.140 You think a room temperature serum in a roller.

00:27:28.560 Oh, no, you're right, you're right.

00:27:29.300 No, but it's a little cold on a plane, a little cold on a plane, no?

00:27:32.340 Maybe if it's in storage, it's just steerage.

00:27:35.420 I think products are cold on planes.

00:27:37.080 No, it can't be.

00:27:39.460 I mean, not colder than you, but...

00:27:46.340 There's so many ways to de-puff. 1.00

00:27:48.280 And it's, as you've said, using your own goddamn mitts. 1.00

00:27:51.700 I know. 0.99

00:27:52.320 Well, the point is I bought the serum because it was fed to me so many times

00:27:55.100 that I was convinced that it could change my life.

00:27:57.460 I was, yeah, I'm interested in the stamp.

00:28:02.240 I don't like that.

00:28:03.400 I'm doing microneedling in three weeks.

00:28:06.200 Once again, you book another treatment without me.

00:28:07.940 Do it with me.

00:28:08.880 Well, invite me, okay?

00:28:10.420 Well, you can't do it side by side.

00:28:11.700 I wish you could.

00:28:12.440 Why not?

00:28:13.080 I'm sure you could.

00:28:14.400 Same day? 1.00

00:28:14.980 There was one girl at the office that does it.

00:28:16.800 And how long does it take? 1.00

00:28:18.280 probably not long yeah back to back and go to lunch

00:28:20.440 now where is this place larchmont village aka heaven on earth no is it is it looking at my

00:28:30.380 calendar i'm getting and you're getting microneedled now have you done before never

00:28:35.080 december i don't know that i've ever done it either i've done nothing but no no i'm getting

00:28:40.300 the 25th and then i'm getting a hydrofacial three weeks later the way you just book the treatments 1.00

00:28:47.560 I got to book a bitch. 1.00

00:28:48.680 It's like you don't even, like. 1.00

00:28:51.180 The hydrofacial, I think, has been good.

00:28:53.560 I've probably done it seven times. 1.00

00:28:55.360 I've done shit. 1.00

00:28:56.020 Look at your skin. 1.00

00:28:56.820 And that's why you're perfect.

00:28:59.600 You ever hear, by the way,

00:29:00.500 when I hear a joke that I heard as a child

00:29:01.920 that changed the course of my life.

00:29:03.640 Oh, God, yeah. 1.00

00:29:04.780 Why do women wear perfume and makeup? 1.00

00:29:08.120 Don't tell me. 1.00

00:29:08.720 Hold on.

00:29:08.940 I want to think about it for a second. 1.00

00:29:09.980 Why do women wear perfume? 1.00

00:29:10.980 Or makeup and perfume. 1.00

00:29:12.560 Interesting that you turned.

00:29:14.000 There's no reason.

00:29:14.600 That's me just getting into the.

00:29:15.700 You're leading with makeup.

00:29:16.640 That has nothing to do with it.

00:29:18.240 Yeah, it's like a, it's a, it's a mean joke.

00:29:21.980 Right. 1.00

00:29:22.260 So why do women wear, to cover the stench of fish? 1.00

00:29:26.720 Basically. 1.00

00:29:27.620 Sorry. 1.00

00:29:28.540 Why do women wear makeup and perfume? 1.00

00:29:30.580 Because they're ugly and they smell like shit. 1.00

00:29:33.260 I heard that as a child. 1.00

00:29:38.180 It's pretty funny.

00:29:39.300 Okay, I like it.

00:29:40.760 I mean, I like it because, so let's just play it out.

00:29:44.240 Why don't men wear?

00:29:45.700 Well, hey, I had this, I had someone talk about this recently, and this is an interesting phenomenon.

00:29:49.740 There is something that happens with men.

00:29:51.420 I want to say straight men who never marry or never have a woman in their lives. 0.77

00:29:55.780 Turn to serums? 0.99

00:29:56.840 They rot.

00:29:57.960 Oh, they litter hygiene? 1.00

00:29:59.800 Like men like need women to be like. 1.00

00:30:02.140 You look disturbed?

00:30:03.660 Yeah, yeah.

00:30:04.780 To be like, what are you doing?

00:30:06.500 Like, this is the truth.

00:30:07.540 They have no self-concept. 0.96

00:30:09.220 The man who's like has the woman, has the mother surrogate instead of the wife or the girlfriend, right? 0.96

00:30:13.540 Yeah. 0.75

00:30:13.800 And then the mother dies.

00:30:15.300 And then they're like, ah, whatever, like, and they rot from the inside out.

00:30:20.220 But you mean, you mean hygiene and looks.

00:30:22.180 Hygiene, yeah, and looks.

00:30:23.980 Yeah, they could be a real angel.

00:30:25.480 They could tell a great story.

00:30:26.420 No, right.

00:30:26.980 Oh, no, I wasn't suggesting that, okay?

00:30:30.020 Look, me drawing cubes again.

00:30:31.380 I just think it is true. 1.00

00:30:32.260 Women are like, hey, do you know how to brush your teeth? 1.00

00:30:35.880 Because I think you do it correctly. 1.00

00:30:37.640 You know what I mean?

00:30:39.700 Yeah, yeah.

00:30:40.860 well yeah and you know would you have it any other way i mean some men can keep it together

00:30:48.200 and be like okay i need to like remember i remember my sister got my grandfather

00:30:54.180 into just getting pedicures like you know he's like 86 years old or whatever at that point and

00:31:00.660 it's just like she'd be like you know you got to clip your toenail you know you know grams or

00:31:05.500 whatever and then he lives in manhattan she's like just go downstairs and then he just got a

00:31:10.100 regular pedicure. That's great. You don't have to worry about anything. I remember when that 0.86

00:31:13.100 started to happen, I would see like a man at the pedicure salon. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. Pussy

00:31:18.000 Slayer. You think? I saw a couple that were, yeah, definitely. Getting pedicures or manicures? 1.00

00:31:24.640 Yeah, both. Interesting. Wedding videographers. It's so interesting how little space you take

00:31:29.840 up with your writing. I've always thought that was a shock. You get a, because, you know, you're

00:31:35.080 not. Yeah, what's that about? You're right. I do do that. I mean, it's like subject of the

00:31:39.860 state i mean it's like not gonna take up space you know what i mean i mean so like it's people

00:31:46.200 would be shocked if they saw a birthday card from you okay like the ones i get it's like a

00:31:51.340 yearly reminder that that you know you are vulnerable that's a joke i really am i mean

00:31:58.800 because of course you are you know what i mean yeah of course yeah

00:32:01.300 taking a break from the show just to let you know that the premium experience is available to you

00:32:14.220 we're so excited to offer bonus episodes and amas and any other curious offerings that

00:32:21.400 we decide to share with those who cough up the cash there's the dear friend level there is the

00:32:26.980 out-of-pocket level there's even an overpaying is erotic level which is too erotic to even tell

00:32:31.680 you about over here check out the link in description the link in bio or even just

00:32:36.920 looking at berlantnovac.supercast.com no i have a question i have a question when's the last

00:32:47.160 time we went to a wedding wedding videographers the hell of when um someone comes over do you

00:32:54.940 have anything to say to the the bride and groom yeah on a video wish you the best are you talking

00:33:00.980 about how the videos turn out for the are you talking about from the buyer's perspective guess

00:33:05.760 what you're the wedding guest i've spent hours doing this and this is some of the best entertainment 0.99

00:33:09.660 you could ever find oh let me guess let me guess you find a wedding hashtag better these motherfuckers 0.96

00:33:17.540 are posting their entire wedding ceremonies vows all of it on vimeo vimeo is the secret and they're 0.98

00:33:24.820 And they're keeping them open, openly.

00:33:27.640 Searchable.

00:33:28.100 So here's what you can do.

00:33:29.480 So what I've done is you pick a certain wedding location,

00:33:32.280 certain hotel, certain whatever.

00:33:34.180 And you go into Vimy and you go da-da-da-da, wedding, whatever.

00:33:37.020 So if we did Hotel Santa Cecilia.

00:33:38.700 Vows, full ceremonies.

00:33:39.940 I've watched 24-minute ceremonies.

00:33:41.760 I'm crying, okay?

00:33:44.000 Okay.

00:33:44.720 All right, all right, I go.

00:33:45.860 You know what I watched.

00:33:46.460 And then by the end, I'm like.

00:33:48.560 Yeah, right.

00:33:49.220 And it's amazing.

00:33:49.880 When you're surprised.

00:33:50.640 It's the best thing, which is non-performers performing.

00:33:52.780 It's like the greatest genre.

00:33:54.820 film and so you have people and then they do the full um it's always the drone shot over it with

00:34:01.380 the beginning of the vows and here's something that's really so wedding i've had to give a

00:34:06.140 couple wedding speeches yeah really stressful really hard not my best work oh i gotta go

00:34:12.400 you know i've gone different ways with it but yeah i one time really just lost lost my way

00:34:20.600 And I don't mean in a way that I would in my performance.

00:34:24.500 No, no, no.

00:34:24.840 I was like, this is not good.

00:34:25.860 This is bad.

00:34:27.240 I'm like, well, I'm not being funny.

00:34:28.800 I'm not being smart.

00:34:29.620 I'm not being insightful.

00:34:31.000 Something happens.

00:34:32.020 Yeah.

00:34:32.420 When you go to a wedding, and we all love going to weddings.

00:34:35.080 Other people go, I love weddings.

00:34:36.120 Like, yeah, we all do because it's, you know, free theater, whatever.

00:34:40.500 No?

00:34:40.980 You don't like going to weddings?

00:34:41.580 Destination?

00:34:42.060 Are we talking destination?

00:34:42.700 No, I'm talking about regular weddings you don't have to shell out for.

00:34:45.260 Regular wedding.

00:34:46.020 Drive wedding.

00:34:47.000 Yeah.

00:34:47.740 The thing that so many of these speeches and why they're always 99,

00:34:52.740 there's something just fundamentally you can be moved, right?

00:34:55.020 I've been to some weddings lately, people I don't even know, right?

00:34:57.220 Oh, yeah.

00:34:58.060 And it's like, I don't know them.

00:34:59.060 I have no attachment to them.

00:35:00.620 Sobbing.

00:35:00.940 Holding back tears.

00:35:01.800 Not sobbing, but holding back tears.

00:35:03.060 Becoming moved. 0.99

00:35:03.680 Because it is fucking moving. 0.99

00:35:04.300 I've had it advanced sobbing. 0.98

00:35:05.900 And people should, you know, be absorbed into a ritual.

00:35:08.140 And you're not so special. 1.00

00:35:09.020 You get to walk down the aisle like every other whore. 1.00

00:35:10.780 Yeah. 1.00

00:35:11.060 Or whatever.

00:35:11.540 Well, that's exactly it.

00:35:12.540 Like, there's something really cool there.

00:35:14.440 Of course.

00:35:14.680 And reinventing the wedding.

00:35:16.220 Good luck.

00:35:16.880 Yeah, nice try.

00:35:17.940 No, no, no.

00:35:18.840 We did it a little different.

00:35:20.680 No, you didn't.

00:35:21.320 We were at a restaurant.

00:35:22.120 No, you didn't.

00:35:22.300 You know, it's like, well, God bless,

00:35:23.420 but, like, you've got to submit to the traditions here.

00:35:26.840 But the vanity.

00:35:27.760 So the thing that's so, that doesn't work about so many of the,

00:35:33.080 and here's the best man, here's the bride of the whatever.

00:35:35.760 I'd love to talk about this particular issue.

00:35:38.040 Bride of the woman, yeah.

00:35:39.600 So all these species, what they are, are listing qualities.

00:35:43.280 You're funny.

00:35:44.100 Right.

00:35:44.680 Right time.

00:35:45.360 Right time.

00:35:45.940 That's what they always are.

00:35:46.720 Is that what you're finding?

00:35:47.500 No, it's listing qualities.

00:35:50.100 She's caring.

00:35:51.620 Oh, wow.

00:35:52.840 She's hilarious.

00:35:53.800 See, I haven't think of it as funny.

00:35:55.420 Well, yeah, that's always fun.

00:35:57.220 These are the candies we loved as kids.

00:35:59.480 I remember going over, we would melt all the chocolate into a big pile.

00:36:03.220 It's like always like, it's like candy.

00:36:06.080 And it's, but it's like, you're, huh?

00:36:08.020 Eh?

00:36:08.600 No, right, right, right.

00:36:09.520 And that's what the vowels are, too, because I've watched a lot of these vowels.

00:36:12.280 You're, okay?

00:36:12.840 Okay.

00:36:13.320 Right.

00:36:13.660 Step back.

00:36:15.200 No, yeah.

00:36:15.580 I'm just I'm I'm thinking about it sounds like I'm being cruel it's like no no I get it because

00:36:20.180 I'm here to tell you writing speech it's hell it's hard I understand people just go down the

00:36:25.040 list no anytime anyone's like for like what do you think like Chris is like at a wedding any

00:36:32.220 situation like that he's like when people are out come and ask us for advice okay okay you have

00:36:38.340 public speakers or whatever but he's always like no one's ever says it's too short guess what I've

00:36:43.280 seen it be too short no i know but i i know i've seen literally i've literally seen a father of

00:36:47.720 the bride you go have you met her have you met anyone here

00:36:50.780 congratulations i don't mind that i i what you mean i am not sure i don't know it's really hard

00:37:04.220 to say it's really it's really hard to say what the fuck do i know i feel like well there's there's 0.89

00:37:09.620 like you almost can't fuck it up i want to be clear though you almost can't fuck it up because 0.57

00:37:12.880 Even speeches that are objectively like poorly written or whatever, it's still moving because 0.88

00:37:17.760 someone's up there.

00:37:18.520 And I want to see a man cry. 0.99

00:37:19.820 Well, you know what?

00:37:20.160 If I see a man cry, I'm crying.

00:37:21.360 Up there?

00:37:21.880 Yeah.

00:37:22.200 Cry. 1.00

00:37:22.820 Get up there and cry. 0.82

00:37:23.520 Father the bride? 1.00

00:37:24.500 If a groom's not crying, why don't you get the fuck out of the altar? 1.00

00:37:27.720 Get off the altar. 1.00

00:37:29.200 I don't like it when a groom doesn't cry.

00:37:30.660 I go, alarms, alarms.

00:37:32.000 You mean during the hours he's not crying?

00:37:33.680 If he's not crying, I'm running.

00:37:35.980 Maybe that's not fair.

00:37:37.560 I struggle.

00:37:38.860 We've never been at a wedding together.

00:37:41.060 Imagine.

00:37:41.960 No, I'm scared.

00:37:42.480 like invite me to your wedding

00:37:43.380 like I love it

00:37:43.880 I'm not like sitting there

00:37:44.600 hating it

00:37:45.000 I love weddings

00:37:45.760 and not out of some

00:37:47.600 interesting idea

00:37:48.320 invite us to your wedding

00:37:49.240 invite us to your wedding

00:37:49.980 stirring up

00:37:51.680 stirring up

00:37:52.780 like

00:37:53.860 stirring up the vibes

00:37:56.000 I've had officiant requests

00:37:57.740 well yeah

00:37:58.780 for 25k

00:38:00.420 I'll consider it

00:38:01.420 for 25k

00:38:02.580 I could have started higher

00:38:05.200 Jack and I will officiate

00:38:08.220 your wedding

00:38:08.640 oh and do a gorgeous job 0.99

00:38:10.340 for gorgeous to sing 0.99

00:38:11.380 before you say it

00:38:12.120 Before you undersell, before you undersell us, let's think about it.

00:38:14.980 Wait, wait, wait.

00:38:15.380 It is a gorgeous destination at a date of our choosing.

00:38:19.920 No, no, no.

00:38:20.760 This is true.

00:38:22.160 Jacqueline, I will officiate your wedding if it's at a gorgeous location.

00:38:26.740 You treat us right.

00:38:27.820 I got news for you.

00:38:28.580 I don't need a gorgeous location.

00:38:30.100 Me neither, actually.

00:38:31.200 If I'd go to—

00:38:32.380 Actually, I don't want destination.

00:38:33.420 I'd go to, you know, what's the—

00:38:36.600 Ideally, it's local.

00:38:37.460 Go to New Haven, whatever.

00:38:38.040 Oh, ideally, it's local.

00:38:39.220 I mean, I love the finest hotel in a, you know, mid-sized city, right?

00:38:43.320 Yeah.

00:38:43.880 Not always, but.

00:38:44.840 I was going to say.

00:38:45.480 No, I'm just trying to go.

00:38:46.240 Okay, wait, what am I trying to say? 0.99

00:38:48.980 Why am I shitting on New Haven? 0.99

00:38:50.280 Okay. 0.99

00:38:50.660 I'm just trying to say.

00:38:54.920 Well, no, here's what you do.

00:38:56.040 You send us out a week in advance.

00:38:58.960 Okay, yeah, that's good.

00:39:00.240 I'll scope things out for you.

00:39:01.220 We'll talk to the property and make sure everything's good.

00:39:03.240 We'll clear some little seaweed off the beach. 0.97

00:39:05.180 By the way, by the way, I will fucking get in the wedding planner's face if things aren't right. 0.96

00:39:08.940 I had this happen at a wedding recently. 0.98

00:39:10.600 Listen, imagine this.

00:39:11.880 Wedding. 1.00

00:39:12.400 Nice fucking wedding. 1.00

00:39:13.180 Oh, I know where this is coming 1.00

00:39:14.120 because you texted me from it.

00:39:15.480 They ran out of booze.

00:39:16.940 That was a different situation.

00:39:18.020 Oh.

00:39:18.780 But this was a different wedding I went to.

00:39:20.120 Nice wedding, okay?

00:39:21.180 Daddy's shelling out, okay?

00:39:22.860 Okay.

00:39:24.440 Yeah, I've heard of that.

00:39:25.460 I've heard of it.

00:39:27.020 Unbelievable.

00:39:27.760 Yeah.

00:39:27.920 So daddy's paying.

00:39:30.300 After party situation.

00:39:33.120 Dance floor.

00:39:34.520 Drops a drink.

00:39:35.480 Clears.

00:39:36.020 Shatters a pint of the alcohol.

00:39:37.940 It shatters and falls?

00:39:38.740 like a hip drops it okay water all over okay okay not water i'm just trying to think what

00:39:43.480 could go wrong what could go wrong with people slipping and falling no i mean i mean what was

00:39:47.000 mishandled what was mishandled was that no one was rushing to clean it up this is what i'm saying

00:39:52.360 so i start going uh okay hello yeah so the drunk guy kind of goes or whatever they kind of start

00:39:58.760 dancing around i go we can't dance around this is crazy someone puts a chair there i'm like someone's

00:40:05.220 gonna die i take it upon myself i start running around looking for someone when we gotta clean

00:40:10.220 i take it on myself to clean it i start looking for a rag i'm sorry not a rag a person to do it

00:40:14.500 no well by the way i went to the bar and i was like do you have like i'm not suggesting that 0.97

00:40:19.180 you know of course i'm just my tits pouring out of my dress wouldn't you like that the drunk guy 0.97

00:40:26.560 or me 1.00

00:40:27.140 but

00:40:29.660 the point is

00:40:32.340 the point is

00:40:33.020 I couldn't believe

00:40:34.360 but I

00:40:34.800 there was no one

00:40:35.700 that's what I'm trying to say

00:40:36.400 I want to say

00:40:37.860 35 minutes

00:40:38.560 spill on the dance floor 1.00

00:40:39.360 wait 35 minutes

00:40:41.000 35 minutes 1.00

00:40:41.900 spill on the dance floor

00:40:42.620 now here's a question

00:40:42.740 this was an after

00:40:43.500 the wedding planner

00:40:44.760 midnight

00:40:45.860 well here's the thing

00:40:47.360 a wedding planner 0.89

00:40:48.140 needs to be a planner 0.79

00:40:51.640 they need to be staffed up

00:40:52.980 this is the kind of

00:40:53.520 wedding planner

00:40:54.000 where there's like

00:40:54.660 four of

00:40:55.060 there's like five of them

00:40:55.880 and they're staked out.

00:40:57.080 I saw this.

00:40:57.900 They were moving.

00:40:59.620 The wedding was really well run.

00:41:01.100 Really well run.

00:41:01.920 I was going,

00:41:03.140 really well run.

00:41:04.580 Good schedule, guys.

00:41:05.540 We're on a schedule.

00:41:07.020 It's tight.

00:41:07.380 It's moving.

00:41:07.820 Here are the drinks.

00:41:08.260 Here are the food.

00:41:08.740 Have a towel.

00:41:10.060 Time to go.

00:41:11.320 It's a very tight schedule.

00:41:13.600 Really?

00:41:14.220 So that's when I go.

00:41:14.860 And I saw the wedding planners

00:41:16.120 guarding the door.

00:41:17.780 And now we're going into this area.

00:41:19.200 And now we're going into this area.

00:41:20.320 They're flanking 0.51

00:41:21.120 militarized wedding planners.

00:41:23.540 Now here's a question.

00:41:25.540 drink someone's gonna die yeah nothing nowhere no one's on safety no one's on safety yeah what

00:41:30.620 are they on see what's kind of weird about those situations is you don't know the connections of

00:41:37.400 you don't know what let's say this is a catering comfort it's like uh you know that show like

00:41:41.080 do these people work with each other week after week right oh yeah are they all complete soloists

00:41:46.620 okay who are in the same uniform like uh party down is what i'm trying to say right i haven't

00:41:52.620 announce oh yeah yeah yeah let's hear it just a quick detail about the wedding i found so exquisite

00:41:56.480 that i couldn't shut the fuck up about it food was good and by the way really hard at a wedding

00:42:02.380 no i mean classic thing but then the other thing is that people love to say that they're the couple

00:42:07.180 they're a couple who cares about food okay we care about food more than this is what i've heard 0.94

00:42:11.280 let's just say the food's gonna be good always shit nine out of ten nine point four out of ten 0.93

00:42:16.100 the food is not good right particularly family style we have a chance for being good the course 0.97

00:42:20.760 out thing is funeral don't do it guys it's over don't do the coursed out i think but but but i

00:42:29.000 went to the coursed out it was good the food was good keep it hot i don't know right but it was so

00:42:34.200 good imagine this did you have to check off what you wanted on before i think ahead of time i go

00:42:38.860 give me steak yeah okay so listen to this i'm gonna take time with this we've talked about this

00:42:43.500 big issue restaurants everywhere when they take your food too early they're clearing plates are

00:42:48.380 you're still eating.

00:42:48.920 They're clearing plates.

00:42:49.840 Devastating.

00:42:50.460 Horrible.

00:42:51.120 Ruins the mood.

00:42:51.780 Sexless life.

00:42:53.420 Leave the plate. 1.00

00:42:54.200 Let me see the dirty plate.

00:42:55.700 Particularly when you're not at a restaurant

00:42:57.420 and they're clearing table.

00:42:58.800 We're at a dinner party.

00:43:00.640 They start clearing.

00:43:01.620 Don't clear.

00:43:03.380 We're at home.

00:43:04.800 No, I just felt this experience.

00:43:05.880 Live among the filth. 0.74

00:43:07.100 Be erotic. 0.89

00:43:08.000 Okay?

00:43:08.280 Exactly.

00:43:08.740 Well, you know what it's like?

00:43:09.700 It's like, let the clothes be on the floor.

00:43:12.480 Yeah, exactly.

00:43:13.460 Not swept up in the closet.

00:43:15.260 Imagine undressing for someone 1.00

00:43:17.100 because you're about to fuck. 1.00

00:43:17.820 and then running. 1.00

00:43:19.100 No, no, folding it.

00:43:20.120 Yeah.

00:43:22.000 So imagine this, imagine this, imagine this, imagine this.

00:43:24.080 Let me just finish this.

00:43:25.180 Eating the steak, loving it.

00:43:26.860 I'm done.

00:43:27.540 Okay, but there's still not a lot of steak,

00:43:29.500 less than half, a few bites left.

00:43:31.340 I got up to go get something. 0.99

00:43:33.220 I don't know what the fuck. 0.98

00:43:33.960 I went to the bathroom, way less than half. 0.99

00:43:35.560 Not a lot on the plate.

00:43:36.500 Okay, this is key.

00:43:37.020 Not a lot on the plate.

00:43:37.740 Couple bites, not a lot on the plate.

00:43:39.120 I go to the bathroom.

00:43:40.060 I get a drink, whatever.

00:43:41.140 I start dancing.

00:43:41.940 I'm having fun.

00:43:43.120 I come back to the table.

00:43:45.760 Gone.

00:43:46.840 There.

00:43:47.820 oh it had been left oh this is why they're good and I go someone had someone has a touch here

00:43:55.440 because everyone else had been seated I had left so they had gone I'm done right so everyone else

00:44:00.500 was clear but mine they hadn't gotten verbal confirmation I was done with my steak so they

00:44:04.760 left it there I almost started crying 45 minutes I left the plate I completely agree beautiful and

00:44:11.180 I go there's what three bites of steak here here's a question two bites of mashed potatoes was it at

00:44:15.140 the level where had they like for example like taking your napkin i don't remember what the

00:44:19.360 napkin situation was but it was you could tell they was intentionally of course it was clearly

00:44:22.980 because everyone else at the table was cleared everyone and there was mine see here's the thing

00:44:27.120 about service here's the thing about service well which i really like because it just sort of lets

00:44:31.260 you know that they were there they're acknowledging that they were there i knew they're not hidden in

00:44:34.780 and out you're not wondering if like the thing about the thing about service okay

00:44:40.300 you know i i get like it's a calling it's a calling it's a vocation you know what it's like

00:44:47.540 it's like so many things okay it's like there's the people there's the people of the calling

00:44:53.320 and they are able to identify in a variety of different circumstances what the right choice is

00:44:57.660 right and there are other people who then try to make those into rules of thumb yeah copy them

00:45:02.360 without understanding the source okay it's a soul okay yeah okay they can copy those they're

00:45:07.620 always out running they're always they're always chasing what the new rule of thumb is from someone

00:45:12.200 else's instinct who had it naturally who had it naturally and could in the moment be fluid that's

00:45:17.740 where like it it now now maybe someone isn't born with it okay maybe but maybe someone listens to

00:45:23.800 enough okay and they start to recognize patterns and they go i'm seeing a pattern here there's six

00:45:29.060 different examples that are rules of thumb those all sound like you're supposed to prioritize

00:45:32.140 someone's um you know comfort over someone's you know whatever like yeah you know like so

00:45:39.080 they're studying so yeah there are those who study there are those who learn and by the way

00:45:44.380 it's the same thing learn certain and this is the thing with going to a restaurant or being a guest 0.86

00:45:48.420 somewhere fucking get your act together people don't know how to do it oh that's how you about 0.58

00:45:54.000 when when recently someone said to me thank you for receiving that so well about food we're talking 0.99

00:45:58.080 about food and i was going on and on but this was so good because of this reason and he was going

00:46:01.840 yeah because this is a and i go this yeah i was like we were talking i go just really

00:46:05.900 exceptional like thank you he goes thank you for receiving that so well yeah there it is

00:46:11.880 yeah yeah yeah the pride that's why you do it that's why i do it that's why i see these animals

00:46:17.000 over here give me the i saw that recently i actually saw a guy go give me the he had his

00:46:21.980 phone out like this he was nice restaurant he goes look at me i always have to believe i go

00:46:25.420 you don't think he was doing a like folksy like no he goes like your finest yeah give me 0.99

00:46:31.640 By the way, this motherfucker's what, 35? 1.00

00:46:34.480 Who the fuck do you think I'd grow up, set up straight, bitch? 1.00

00:46:41.800 No, I'm delighting in you. 1.00

00:46:43.560 Don't skew it.

00:46:43.840 I was like, stop, I don't know why. 0.97

00:46:45.300 By the way, you look like a little girl right now.

00:46:48.500 You look like a little 13-year-old.

00:46:50.560 You do have such a young face.

00:46:52.180 Thanks.

00:46:52.620 You look 14 max. 0.99

00:46:54.040 Well, I was thinking the other day about, you know, could I get my ass 0.98

00:47:01.520 you know it's just the classic 0.99

00:47:03.300 like

00:47:04.160 you treat yourself like a friend

00:47:06.940 you know like the whole like

00:47:07.900 I don't know maybe I saw it somewhere picturing the

00:47:11.120 little you know version of you

00:47:13.400 and being like you know 0.99

00:47:14.880 are we just fucking her over today 0.98

00:47:16.380 you know what I mean like 1.00

00:47:17.560 basic like health care you know what I mean

00:47:20.580 whatever

00:47:21.640 it's interesting but wait I'm not done with the wedding

00:47:23.480 I'm not done with the wedding

00:47:24.280 you said could I

00:47:27.420 and the reception of the food

00:47:31.520 Well, two things.

00:47:32.280 One, we're watching the speeches, okay?

00:47:36.060 I'm so sick that I start to go, like, first of all, I go, they are incredible.

00:47:42.680 The speeches?

00:47:43.440 No.

00:47:43.960 The people?

00:47:44.540 The couple?

00:47:45.660 I become like, oh, my God, like, my friend, the bride, like, they're the only living woman.

00:47:54.920 Oh, my God.

00:47:55.540 I'm listening to all the speeches every morning.

00:47:56.740 Oh, I know.

00:47:57.080 I'm going, she is it.

00:47:58.480 She's it.

00:47:58.960 I know, I know.

00:47:59.580 I know. 1.00

00:47:59.740 I go, holy shit. 1.00

00:48:00.900 It works. 0.99

00:48:01.200 Okay?

00:48:01.520 I go, oh, my gosh.

00:48:02.580 And I start to spiral about myself.

00:48:06.460 Truly.

00:48:07.100 Okay. 1.00

00:48:07.340 Like, I'm like, oh, piece of shit. 1.00

00:48:10.240 I'm like, no one would have shit to say about me. 1.00

00:48:13.840 Okay. 0.97

00:48:14.580 I'm like, I'm like, and I start to go like, like, you know, but I don't know.

00:48:19.920 Like, I don't know that I can turn into one of those girls.

00:48:24.000 And it pinched.

00:48:24.740 There's no time.

00:48:25.440 I can make you that girl.

00:48:27.080 By the way, but guess what?

00:48:28.420 You know that you gave me the best speech I've ever received in my life.

00:48:30.880 wait oh my god at my birthday dinner at my birthday dinner i want to receive you again

00:48:35.140 four of us yeah little toasts you gave the most beautiful toast i've ever received okay off the

00:48:44.520 cuff from the heart off the cuff and from it was literally i was like that's all you know why

00:48:51.680 i gotta get one and a half cocktails in just so you can give me a speech i know

00:48:57.860 but getting married for the speeches actually makes sense people go you know this whole thing 0.79

00:49:02.680 people get married for um for a million fucking reasons but now right now the photos whatever

00:49:07.680 taxes no i just mean but like but getting married for this right no no you're saying you think they 0.97

00:49:15.060 should i'm saying i think like the whole you know homework assignment for everyone in your life i

00:49:20.720 know i think sucks i know kinda but then you have to give it to people so i feel like a piece of

00:49:26.620 it while i'm watching the speeches right okay i love this okay and i'm just like right and i'm

00:49:31.820 like that's a woman i'm almost like yeah i've been sleeping on them like like like i turned down

00:49:36.760 lunch with them last week i should be seeing them every day i know okay whatever you know not really

00:49:42.360 because i know how my brain works and what i can manage you know what i mean but but so i go down

00:49:47.400 that path well notoriously i have multiple times and by the way not notoriously i actually don't

00:49:53.820 like i see this a lot people go this is a speech people no sorry just people just say this in like

00:49:58.600 reviews or whatever people like love to say they're notorious for things okay yeah when like

00:50:03.520 no you're not

00:50:04.440 yeah it's like it's a minor thing okay no help me

00:50:11.400 there's a whole world you took me down okay and i'm not ready to leave it there was so many things

00:50:19.260 along the way and like there's food on the table there's oh multiple times i've thought that the

00:50:23.800 main course that the appetizer was the main and or that something that came out like at a wedding

00:50:30.640 okay two weddings including my brother's i'm like trying to get to the dance floor and i'm like

00:50:35.780 hold on i say i just want to make sure i can fill up on this on this and it was like coming or

00:50:40.300 whatever yeah didn't realize thought that was the main so i was like filling up on some family style

00:50:44.960 vegetables that came out first right right right not knowing i had i had recently the best what

00:50:50.340 What do you think about, tell me what's wrong with a buffet?

00:50:54.020 Nothing.

00:50:54.900 Maybe.

00:50:55.560 Here's what's the issue with the buffet.

00:50:56.900 Lines.

00:50:57.480 The classic thing is lines.

00:50:58.480 Got it.

00:50:58.760 Now this table.

00:50:59.620 Now that table.

00:51:00.880 But is it a temporary?

00:51:02.720 But here's the other thing, by the way.

00:51:03.540 I think people go too hard thinking that's annoying. 1.00

00:51:04.840 Family style with a bunch of assholes? 1.00

00:51:07.360 I don't want to navigate two asparagus for me. 1.00

00:51:10.280 Six people?

00:51:10.920 I don't know.

00:51:11.380 No, I don't.

00:51:12.020 It's hell.

00:51:12.700 I don't like doing that with people I like.

00:51:14.020 That's interesting, actually.

00:51:14.820 Sharing food?

00:51:15.760 No.

00:51:16.200 By the way, do not serve me.

00:51:17.780 Is it?

00:51:18.100 No, I'm starting to go, is it tin hat?

00:51:20.340 what's that maybe it is plated oh you have an idea double the food you think everyone wants 0.81

00:51:27.560 bring that to each person fucking let it happen i just yeah i mean all you can i don't know 0.87

00:51:35.280 you basically can never have faith that you're gonna get fed by anyone other than yourself 0.97

00:51:40.720 okay and that's why i look i find out i have a service i find out i find out i know it's

00:51:48.740 actually really comforting to go you fed well i loved going to dinner with you the other night

00:51:53.160 and you order you go we got a couple apps at the table you order your own private salad

00:51:59.060 and your own private entree you ordered your own i know private entree and you shared a salad yeah

00:52:05.380 but i just meant you've inspired me in life oh well i've always taught you you've always i wanted

00:52:10.400 one of the only you always say get your we go out you go wouldn't you rather have your own i go

00:52:14.280 god you're amazing it gives me such pride because it that's the thing it's like

00:52:20.640 i really do come alive okay in a restaurant and it's where i belong it's it's it's where i am

00:52:27.360 myself it's one of the reasons that i cry so often at dinner okay yeah because i feel completely at

00:52:33.200 home i think it's like very natural even i'm like indeed i am crying like and i'm glad that things

00:52:40.680 are on the way you know but it's a margin error you know what i mean once you're already paying 0.98

00:52:46.840 for dinner yeah fuck it what's another 16 dollars yeah it's like i'm starting to get really aroused 0.97

00:52:52.060 by entrees under 30 because this is why these are high price la you live in these cities price 0.99

00:52:57.580 no i mean it's crazy it can be yeah it can be expensive once you're there once you're there

00:53:01.720 i'm just saying don't pay twice my big theory totally but a lot of these entrees are just

00:53:06.700 They're too expensive.

00:53:07.860 That's all I'm saying.

00:53:10.060 I got seduced. 1.00

00:53:10.860 Instagram, my Instagram thinks I'm just like the most fucking derelict whore in America. 1.00

00:53:16.920 Yeah. 1.00

00:53:17.540 What's it offering?

00:53:18.200 And my Instagram started showing me like, I know, it's not disgusting.

00:53:22.160 It started showing me brunch, like crazy brunches.

00:53:26.420 Like restaurants or things you can make.

00:53:28.500 This brunch has a, this, go to this restaurant.

00:53:30.960 They have a cinnamon bun cart.

00:53:33.080 It's like a wheel over cart and the guy's like.

00:53:36.700 And then it's like, it thinks that I want that.

00:53:39.780 It's like, this brunch has a Bloody Mary card.

00:53:43.300 And they're like, you can get crab rolls in your Bloody Mary or whatever.

00:53:46.840 It's like.

00:53:47.180 I know.

00:53:47.540 You always hate that sort of thing.

00:53:48.560 This is what.

00:53:49.480 No, I know.

00:53:50.140 I know.

00:53:50.420 But because I watched the views of completion, I go.

00:53:54.040 Wow.

00:53:55.580 OK, wait, hold on.

00:53:56.400 Hold on.

00:53:56.740 Wait, wait.

00:53:57.720 We have a lot.

00:53:58.460 But we can also just talk about next time.

00:53:59.880 But no, but I'm not done.

00:54:01.620 There's so much because you brought up so many core issues to me.

00:54:04.320 Weddings and restaurants are literally the cornerstone.

00:54:06.700 Yeah, I mean, I don't know what I would want.

00:54:11.240 Do you get invited to weddings and you're shocked you were invited?

00:54:13.960 You maintain friendships. 1.00

00:54:15.080 You're hearting shit. 1.00

00:54:17.080 Isaiah, you took your time to snap your finger on... 1.00

00:54:19.520 I see it.

00:54:19.880 I started liking stuff.

00:54:20.940 I don't have the time to like stuff.

00:54:22.320 The last couple of weeks, I started liking stuff.

00:54:23.340 I'm not stopping to like.

00:54:24.860 The last couple of weeks, I'm going, why not like it?

00:54:26.840 I'll like it. 0.90

00:54:27.560 I just see your little red face down there.

00:54:29.480 You know what I mean.

00:54:30.660 Yeah.

00:54:30.880 Okay.

00:54:31.360 I started liking... 1.00

00:54:32.080 Literally, like, two weeks ago, I go, fuck it. 1.00

00:54:33.720 I'll like it. 1.00

00:54:34.220 well 0.86

00:54:37.140 give the pigs 0.99

00:54:38.180 what they want 0.98

00:54:38.820 that's what you said to me

00:54:40.400 remember

00:54:40.840 what

00:54:41.760 play the hogs game

00:54:43.600 when you go

00:54:44.900 you haven't posted

00:54:45.500 about your comedy central

00:54:46.500 blah blah blah

00:54:47.100 award

00:54:48.080 you know

00:54:48.480 whatever it's called

00:54:49.160 yeah

00:54:49.400 yeah that'd be a little crass

00:54:50.960 you go play the hogs game 1.00

00:54:52.140 I go play it bitch 1.00

00:54:53.240 post post 1.00

00:54:54.940 hogs game

00:54:55.420 oink oink oink

00:54:56.280 congratulations on our

00:54:58.780 on our business

00:54:59.580 and thank you to everyone

00:55:00.920 who's supporting us

00:55:01.820 you're literally

00:55:02.860 keeping the lights on

00:55:03.900 okay great love you thank you

00:55:12.960 once again we are sponsored by fatty 15 go to fatty 15.com slash hags and make sure you're

00:55:29.060 using the code HAGS at checkout for 15% off their 90-day subscription starter kit. You'll be

00:55:35.000 decanting at home in no time. Thank you again to our sponsor, Fatty15.

Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - January 06, 2025

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