Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - Shadow Desires

00:00:00.000 two best friends both alike in dignity nurturing phantoms and courting the muse

00:00:07.300 the hag divines when something must die yes that was poog but this is huge the ego loves

00:00:13.320 to seek but never to find it was berlant and novak the whole time

00:00:18.020 hello so i did i talk about cce bigelows the state of this oh i didn't hear about this the

00:00:31.860 the actual pharmacy we're recording right yeah we're in okay okay okay you stayed at the actual

00:00:37.160 pharmacy i um i stayed at the marlton i've never stayed owner yeah uh i have to start working on

00:00:46.180 getting perks there oh i've announcement yeah i've announcement yeah the bowery hotel was built

00:00:51.300 or found or like 2008 is when it started yeah i thought it was 19 no no no no you were like

00:00:58.040 you were like no because i was talking in the rockefellers this friend of mine who's um i don't

00:01:03.380 know i guess in her 50s or something was like i mentioned the the the bowery quickly and she was

00:01:09.680 like i was the first person to stay at the bowery right here and and i was like picturing her as a

00:01:14.260 baby right and i go home look it up 2008 anyway that's just i just can't believe it first person

00:01:20.300 to say the bowery well when you well you it's one of those born at the name is taken but the

00:01:25.540 marlton has a amazing history of artist literary you know love it kenny darling lived there you

00:01:31.540 know so you're walking you see there's a carlisle documentary about the carlisle hotel oh well

00:01:35.520 that's the other one right but that one's upper east right i think the carlisle is the one that's

00:01:40.000 upper east yeah and i'm listening yeah yeah oh you know well beyond but by the way i had an

00:01:44.780 explosive time and there were two nights and i can't remember if i spoke about this already but

00:01:48.920 two nights two nights the marlton just pre-christmas but anyway down the street bigalows

00:01:54.100 the pharmacy okay okay the gifts the pharmacy wait but i'm okay this is because there's a

00:02:00.120 product line right yes from them no yeah i've seen them in some hotels i think i know you've

00:02:07.060 seen them and and it's it's legit they're they are from 18 something yeah i thought they said

00:02:15.900 the soap smelled a little weird okay okay but but it was a bigelow's christmas basically okay

00:02:23.580 because i was staying nearby so i got a couple things for family from bigelow's in there i go

00:02:28.440 shopping for christmas okay okay in there chris there so one of the things i got and i'll have

00:02:34.100 to find i'll put it online whatever but it was this it stays on your desk you open it up you do

00:02:39.860 the four sniffs in or four seconds in hold release okay it's just a nice thing and i like that it's

00:02:45.440 not anointing yeah it just sits there and you just do it it's like in there i don't even know

00:02:51.300 what's going on there okay i gotta think it looks nice i love that i got i got one for everybody

00:02:55.040 cute and different you know i got like at your desk is one you say for everybody you mean what

00:02:59.580 Ten of them? Eight of them?

00:03:01.600 Yeah, I mean, at $28 each, let's see. 0.99

00:03:03.760 I was going to say, damn. 0.98

00:03:04.740 And I'm going, I got... 0.99

00:03:06.800 Let me put it on the company card.

00:03:08.640 It saves for business people.

00:03:09.800 Yeah, no, okay, no.

00:03:12.320 But do that, and then I get a little, you know,

00:03:15.340 I get a little crazy at Christmas, okay, with the gift buying.

00:03:18.580 So, whatever, I was very excited about that,

00:03:20.380 and I'm going to go, I've got it done at Bigelow's.

00:03:22.860 Everyone has something.

00:03:23.780 And they gift wrapped?

00:03:24.540 And they gift wrapped?

00:03:25.660 Oh, yeah.

00:03:26.160 Oh, yeah.

00:03:26.480 Okay, so here I go.

00:03:27.960 Now I'm going and getting the things together.

00:03:29.580 and i got other things as well from there but whatever and including so one of the things i

00:03:35.860 got a couple people i got the bader okay okay i got the bader there's a bader spritz now okay

00:03:44.940 i got it for i think my sister my mom and then and i'm it was what i've been waiting for the 0.72

00:03:51.000 serum whatever i just i'm going for it it was like 95 i was like fuck it yeah i go it's the 0.93

00:03:56.120 TCM complex, whatever. 0.98

00:03:57.320 We can question Bader all day.

00:03:59.260 I'll go full Bader for six months.

00:04:01.060 I'll do only Bader for six months.

00:04:02.420 See what happens.

00:04:02.940 If they will send, I will do only Bader for six months.

00:04:05.400 I will abandon my skincare.

00:04:06.920 So I go, I'm going to sneak one in, get one for Chris, okay, who's with me.

00:04:13.260 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:04:14.120 And I go, and I'm not getting everyone in the family the little thing and not him.

00:04:18.060 Of course, yeah, right, right, right.

00:04:19.160 So I'm doing the thing, and he's sort of like, you know, with me and going in, going out, whatever.

00:04:24.860 and it's like

00:04:25.400 then I bring it over

00:04:26.380 to the thing

00:04:26.840 and she's like

00:04:27.240 write down the initial 0.94

00:04:28.160 of everyone

00:04:29.000 you know

00:04:29.720 it's a really good system

00:04:31.360 a little sticker

00:04:32.080 write an initial

00:04:32.720 put it on there 0.98

00:04:33.640 and she's gonna gift wrap it 0.92

00:04:34.820 and then she takes

00:04:36.240 the little label

00:04:36.860 and sticks it on there

00:04:37.820 so you know later

00:04:38.600 and you can add your card

00:04:39.340 whatever 1.00

00:04:39.620 and then she's like

00:04:41.000 she's like

00:04:41.660 now there are two here 0.73

00:04:42.780 for C

00:04:43.340 okay

00:04:44.760 blew it

00:04:46.420 and I'm like

00:04:47.140 I'm like

00:04:49.420 no problem

00:04:50.020 now

00:04:50.380 if I didn't panic

00:04:52.220 and I just said

00:04:53.820 yeah

00:04:54.100 he would never

00:04:55.940 okay but I was like

00:04:57.760 he saw mommy get afraid

00:04:59.120 and I go

00:04:59.780 yeah

00:05:00.060 and I go

00:05:00.680 did I

00:05:01.740 did something in me

00:05:03.800 want the moment

00:05:04.580 of the humor

00:05:05.860 of

00:05:06.220 oh

00:05:07.520 yeah

00:05:07.940 like did I kind of

00:05:08.760 like being like

00:05:09.420 he's C 0.88

00:05:10.500 oh right 1.00

00:05:12.180 you know

00:05:13.360 like if I'm really

00:05:14.460 going to investigate

00:05:15.120 my shadow desires

00:05:17.140 right 0.96

00:05:17.440 did I want to punish her

00:05:18.960 to the shadow

00:05:19.600 yeah

00:05:20.060 oh

00:05:20.560 or did I kind of think

00:05:22.800 the whole thing

00:05:23.280 would be like

00:05:23.620 a cute scene you wanted the play of that theater yeah anyway but the the yeah the bigelow the

00:05:32.000 bigelow um and she was great and then there was this moment where we left to get our coffee to

00:05:36.640 come back and pick up the stuff and she wrote she wrote jacqueline because whatever it doesn't

00:05:44.020 matter the point is on the bag that was left for me it said because it was like i'm coming to pick

00:05:48.680 okay it said a couple Jacqueline a man named C okay and I was like amazing oh my god it was as

00:05:59.320 if seeing myself from yeah and is that a private thing that feels so like like a man named C so

00:06:05.920 it's like like so I just want to understand what that is so is that so a guy goes up and goes hey

00:06:11.580 my my wife left a package and they go your name and he goes Charles and I go okay it seems because

00:06:17.260 And then the guy goes, what's your name?

00:06:18.560 Mitch.

00:06:19.040 They go, you're not getting this. 1.00

00:06:20.280 You're a liar. 1.00

00:06:21.340 What's the point? 1.00

00:06:21.940 I think it was like, she had to leave her station and had to leave a package with all

00:06:26.880 the information she had.

00:06:27.700 Yeah, man.

00:06:28.180 She knew I was Jacqueline.

00:06:29.640 Detailed.

00:06:30.160 And I think she knew that because there were a couple of comedians behind the counter who,

00:06:34.060 okay.

00:06:35.660 Oh, I thought you meant actual comedians.

00:06:37.160 I'm confused.

00:06:38.460 No, I do.

00:06:39.180 Wait, wait, what?

00:06:39.580 Like, I mean, like, she sourced the knowledge, okay, because she saw me talking to one girl

00:06:43.400 who knew my name was Jacqueline.

00:06:44.480 Oh, yeah.

00:06:44.920 It was just something about seeing sort of this, all she knew was there was a couple,

00:06:48.580 the man is C.

00:06:50.140 Yeah, yeah.

00:06:51.880 Jacqueline.

00:06:52.360 It was like, like I saved it.

00:06:54.680 You know what I mean?

00:06:55.140 Like, yeah, there's my life.

00:06:57.060 Oh, yeah, there's your life.

00:06:58.480 But anyway.

00:07:01.520 Anyway, here.

00:07:03.060 To any.

00:07:03.840 We go.

00:07:04.400 But in 2025, I, 2020, 2025 started for me in September.

00:07:09.140 I'm realizing I don't relate to the January start.

00:07:12.560 Well, it's always the school year, right?

00:07:13.240 new year something shifted and the new year started in september yeah so but i'm observing it

00:07:18.040 well well a couple things but yeah wait really so so hold on so you're not feeling much about

00:07:25.140 you're not new year new life no that's not fair i am i'm no of course new life stuff extra new

00:07:29.940 life implementation but i'm just saying i had kind of a did you feel it this year i'm feeling it i

00:07:37.200 actually actually i kind of take it now i'm feeling it because you want to hear my approach

00:07:40.960 Okay.

00:07:41.460 You ready?

00:07:42.120 So I'm like, last year I wrote at the beginning of my Hobonichi.

00:07:48.100 Viewers remember.

00:07:49.580 Okay.

00:07:50.220 I had a friend today told me they bought a five-year Hobonichi.

00:07:53.280 This year.

00:07:54.020 They bought one.

00:07:54.580 They're going for it. 0.89

00:07:55.700 Five-year Hobonichi.

00:07:56.200 Now, have they used Hobonichi year-longs in the past?

00:07:57.660 No, but she's perfect for it because she does not have ADD at all. 1.00

00:08:01.540 She's hyper-militarized, can churn. 1.00

00:08:03.740 Yeah. 0.79

00:08:04.000 And very methodical with dates and organization of, like, beyond.

00:08:08.220 And it's her first Hobonichi?

00:08:09.740 It's her first Hobonichi.

00:08:10.280 How did you hear about it?

00:08:11.240 I'm not sure.

00:08:11.720 I didn't ask.

00:08:12.380 Hope it was me.

00:08:13.240 She doesn't listen to the cast. 1.00

00:08:16.320 Shockingly.

00:08:20.960 That's exciting because, so I am in a moment where I am deciding whether or not I'm getting

00:08:25.740 one.

00:08:25.860 So last year, within the first couple days of my Hobonichi, I wrote, my goal this year

00:08:31.120 is to make peace with finite time, okay?

00:08:34.300 That was the intention of the journal. 0.97

00:08:37.400 I'm going to watch the goddamn days go and reckon with them. 0.95

00:08:42.020 Now, I went about like eight months without putting anything in there. 0.98

00:08:44.960 Yeah.

00:08:45.220 Okay?

00:08:46.020 And I, last week, I think I said, I'm going to punish myself by getting another one.

00:08:51.280 And if I do it again, I do it again.

00:08:52.960 Right?

00:08:53.020 Totally.

00:08:54.820 I'm not sure what the move is.

00:08:56.280 Being empowered to make the wrong decision.

00:08:59.660 You mean get the planner?

00:09:00.960 This is something that's correct for me with the new year. 1.00

00:09:03.900 Make the wrong decision, bitch. 1.00

00:09:06.500 I just mean the obsession. 1.00

00:09:08.500 No, totally.

00:09:09.540 OCD or whatnot around this one, this one, this one, this one, that one.

00:09:12.900 Or don't, right.

00:09:14.280 Yeah, or whatever.

00:09:15.120 Yeah.

00:09:15.360 I mean, but something like, I'm almost going to go big with it, like get knocked up, you know. 1.00

00:09:20.100 Fuck it. 1.00

00:09:20.960 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:09:21.780 But, I mean, I can't right now. 0.70

00:09:23.240 I love the phrase knocked up.

00:09:24.580 Or like, but I just mean like going nuclear.

00:09:29.960 Well, yeah, nuclear.

00:09:30.820 I think knocked up is nuclear, like in a way.

00:09:33.120 But the second you do it, here's the good news.

00:09:35.060 there's nothing but people around you,

00:09:37.120 I say with no experience,

00:09:38.040 but literally everyone's like...

00:09:39.560 Welcome.

00:09:40.380 They're like, they're just like...

00:09:41.440 Getting knocked up.

00:09:42.140 That's what literally, like...

00:09:43.580 No, I know.

00:09:43.720 They're like, life on earth is

00:09:45.560 because people get knocked up. 0.88

00:09:46.740 So there couldn't be like older news in a way, right?

00:09:49.640 Of course.

00:09:49.760 Someone being knocked up.

00:09:51.080 So it's like nuclear, and then you do it.

00:09:53.960 And then everyone's like...

00:09:55.120 Well, of course, yeah.

00:09:56.400 I was born.

00:09:57.620 I've born.

00:09:58.620 Yeah, yeah.

00:10:00.200 But that's a pretty good...

00:10:01.340 Like, I get kind of...

00:10:05.060 you know like I was the third you know after a break and like so it was like oh was that the

00:10:10.080 accident you know like my dad likes to be like you know like if you're sorry folks like if you

00:10:14.040 have sex without protection like I think you know what you're doing yeah totally you know like

00:10:17.740 you know like you like to call it like a accident is a little like yeah yeah totally exactly although 0.86

00:10:26.420 there is like you know the rhythm method but but but here's my question for you so

00:10:33.960 i in that spirit was like i'll order 10 planners oh yeah january trying different ones yeah yeah

00:10:39.420 why not and then i actually got and i don't know where i feel about it i ordered this thing that

00:10:45.300 i've been resisting because the branding okay okay this is not it this is comes with it to teach you

00:10:51.780 okay so best self tm i go rough branding yeah tough well by the way branding will ruin i mean 0.99

00:10:59.480 like bad branding you're fucked i mean like it's hard to come back from that what you just pulled 0.98

00:11:03.920 out there right caught dead with that i know even if it contains the secret no i know like 0.99

00:11:08.940 it's terrifying i know if you have to run a branding consultation business

00:11:14.180 i mean not knowing what that entails well it's just it's like yeah i mean it's

00:11:23.360 there are other uses for your good taste you know what i mean this time right no yeah but

00:11:28.880 But the point being.

00:11:32.560 Can I see it?

00:11:34.200 Yeah.

00:11:34.600 So this is just giving you a little.

00:11:37.340 So there's a few issues going on with this.

00:11:39.460 One, it's not.

00:11:40.600 So I brought this to show you because I wanted to talk about going.

00:11:44.920 Here's the thing.

00:11:45.620 I started.

00:11:46.960 No, I know.

00:11:47.860 Oh, by the way, you know what it's designed for?

00:11:49.700 People with ADD.

00:11:51.360 Oh, wait. 1.00

00:11:51.640 Where's the notebook?

00:11:52.700 At home.

00:11:54.400 Okay.

00:11:54.860 I was like, I'm not bringing the notebook.

00:11:56.400 Okay.

00:11:57.060 Okay, wait.

00:11:57.400 This is actually.

00:11:57.920 Can I get this online?

00:12:00.100 Of course.

00:12:00.520 Where else? 1.00

00:12:01.240 The pretty more is dead.

00:12:02.420 Wait.

00:12:03.840 Wait.

00:12:04.300 What are you responding to?

00:12:05.300 Tell the people.

00:12:06.060 Here's what I got.

00:12:07.440 Weak left knee from biking injury but recovering.

00:12:11.080 So these are samples.

00:12:12.280 Someone's writing in fake journal entries, which are what you're relating to right now.

00:12:16.920 Just all take note.

00:12:18.120 The fake journal entry is what's got you.

00:12:20.620 Yeah.

00:12:21.760 Give me more. 0.94

00:12:22.880 Okay.

00:12:23.120 So it's like 13 week bucket list, which is interesting.

00:12:26.560 Oh, I forgot to tell you.

00:12:27.720 Kate, Kate, Kate.

00:12:28.820 13-week goal.

00:12:30.100 Kate, are you ready?

00:12:31.600 The journal, I forgot to say this.

00:12:33.280 It's not a year long.

00:12:35.560 It's a three month.

00:12:37.400 Oh!

00:12:39.400 Okay, okay.

00:12:40.920 Build a better mousetrap than you have.

00:12:43.500 That's...

00:12:44.140 Okay, now I will acknowledge that Hobonichi offers the AVEC, which is six months.

00:12:48.820 Okay, the point is, what do you see?

00:12:50.260 What do you see?

00:12:50.760 Perform two A-B tests per week? 1.00

00:12:53.260 Well, the fuck's that? 0.99

00:12:54.780 First of all, we're going to be performing an A-B test on... 0.99

00:12:57.700 a clip of this okay okay okay we're doing abts all day what do you see what do you see oh i think

00:13:04.840 this will change my life okay habit tracker use my journal plan my day the night before

00:13:11.040 drink a gallon of water read a book for 30 minutes exercise for 30 minutes get 50 minutes of sun

00:13:16.980 she's alive zero million bucks record my calories come on guys yeah how dare you call my parents

00:13:22.500 bi-weekly

00:13:23.200 review budget

00:13:24.200 weekly 0.98

00:13:24.620 holy shit 0.98

00:13:25.960 imagine 0.99

00:13:26.440 and then you do an X

00:13:27.240 for each day

00:13:27.680 that you do it

00:13:28.200 drink water

00:13:29.620 oh

00:13:30.100 well

00:13:30.480 okay this is like

00:13:31.480 and then

00:13:32.260 cause here's the thing

00:13:32.880 so also I'm feeling

00:13:34.200 this thing of like

00:13:34.800 yes

00:13:35.060 like okay so

00:13:36.080 my new year's resolution

00:13:37.140 like the main one

00:13:38.140 is like

00:13:38.820 here's what I'm trying to say

00:13:41.160 slowing down

00:13:43.720 and of course

00:13:44.560 oh my god

00:13:45.100 this is when I get

00:13:46.140 invited

00:13:46.340 we just have to

00:13:46.800 acknowledge it

00:13:47.180 with hi

00:13:47.700 we have a podcast

00:13:48.340 oh god help me

00:13:49.440 here I am going

00:13:50.360 here I am

00:13:50.840 here I am going

00:13:51.820 down rest but not in service of productivity and service of just rest itself like it's like oh my

00:13:56.960 god how did this happen but but but rest prioritizing rest and not for this not not because

00:14:02.720 well i'll rest and then tomorrow i'll go hard right because you know you can't right it's like

00:14:06.060 you know you won't be most productive if you're not resting it's like well that's not the point

00:14:09.320 now that's how they get me i i i'm a hound for productivity yeah right now i am like if you have

00:14:17.560 to get me into bed with promises of productivity even just like i'm just saying for me this little

00:14:22.200 thing it's like the journal right yeah the water the book yeah that is like accomplishment do you

00:14:28.580 have any yes because it is an accomplishment yes and if you this is what and this is when people

00:14:33.480 oh i worked out i i went stop right there you worked out yeah congrats yeah yeah people

00:14:42.180 i mean just i'm sorry no you okay because i'm like if i were to write my journal every day

00:14:49.860 work out every day i don't need like what else is there a lot right if you did that if you had

00:14:57.020 your exes going now now the point being now a couple things wait all right all right now you're

00:15:03.200 how quickly i want this to my new life okay so yeah i know no no this is very exciting i can't

00:15:08.440 Because of ADD, I'm terrified I won't even be able to get through reading this

00:15:11.960 and learning the system, right?

00:15:13.440 Like, I need a class for the system.

00:15:15.420 Let me handle you.

00:15:16.780 Okay, okay.

00:15:17.160 Okay, I'm like, you're in good hands.

00:15:21.900 It's American made.

00:15:24.600 Okay, yes, okay.

00:15:27.220 What?

00:15:28.060 I don't know who Cassandra Sanford is, but listen to this.

00:15:30.760 If this is something that you really want to do, if you believe in it,

00:15:34.060 simply keep forging forward because success will come.

00:15:36.400 Because that's about this book. 0.94

00:15:38.120 Who the hell is this? 1.00

00:15:39.360 The boss's wife? 1.00

00:15:41.100 Who is this? 1.00

00:15:41.780 You sicko. 1.00

00:15:43.120 Okay, wait, hand it over. 1.00

00:15:44.060 Hand it over.

00:15:44.540 Oh, the boss is named Catherine Laverie, founder and CEO.

00:15:49.740 Could still be the boss's wife.

00:15:51.320 I know. 1.00

00:15:51.900 And a doctor.

00:15:53.060 And a doctor.

00:15:54.780 Okay, wait, hand it over.

00:15:56.380 Hand it over.

00:15:57.760 Okay, hand it over.

00:15:58.780 Hand it over.

00:15:59.400 Oh, my God, I'm going to lead you.

00:16:00.800 I'm going to lead you.

00:16:01.740 Okay?

00:16:02.000 Help me.

00:16:02.260 So, first of all, here's what I'm trying to say.

00:16:03.740 On your life.

00:16:04.280 I've got so many things to say.

00:16:05.160 It's not an ad.

00:16:05.740 This is a crazy part.

00:16:06.540 Well, by the way, obviously I'm already going this app.

00:16:09.400 How much, you mean, are we letting them?

00:16:11.540 No, no, we'll send this off.

00:16:12.680 We'll send this off and we'll go, look at this.

00:16:14.500 Oh, right, sure.

00:16:15.320 Hey, and I'll do the system with you.

00:16:17.460 Because I feel like my new life.

00:16:17.920 So here's what I want you to know.

00:16:19.380 Okay, there's a couple things to know.

00:16:19.740 I organized my closet for 20 minutes to change my day.

00:16:21.700 Keep going.

00:16:23.040 Did you purge?

00:16:23.900 Here's why, though.

00:16:24.480 By the way.

00:16:25.040 Hardly.

00:16:25.800 Okay.

00:16:26.220 You'll be proud of me.

00:16:26.540 Well, you have a closet now.

00:16:27.560 I have a closet now.

00:16:29.400 Two things.

00:16:30.040 And I'm not talking about the same things to say about this.

00:16:31.620 So I go, I'm going to do a big purge.

00:16:32.940 And then I go, hey, maybe you can't do a big purge.

00:16:34.500 Who stimulated it?

00:16:35.220 Me saying I'm doing a purge?

00:16:35.940 There's my new closet.

00:16:36.980 It's like, maybe you can't do a big purge.

00:16:38.840 Just get rid of a couple t-shirts.

00:16:42.260 Do you know what I mean?

00:16:42.740 Keep it small.

00:16:44.460 And then let go of major, I think, OCD ritualistic attachment to certain things.

00:16:48.840 Well, let's talk about that.

00:16:49.960 How do you get rid of it?

00:16:50.780 How do you do it?

00:16:51.740 Let's talk about it.

00:16:52.320 Major, major OCD.

00:16:53.600 Yeah.

00:16:55.220 I carried something back from the trash.

00:16:57.000 Socks.

00:16:57.640 I've done that.

00:16:58.680 I've done that.

00:17:00.280 Socks.

00:17:00.680 socks I bought

00:17:02.080 years ago

00:17:03.120 ascribed magical properties

00:17:05.260 to them

00:17:05.600 if I wear these socks

00:17:06.220 if I wear these socks

00:17:06.820 oh yeah

00:17:07.460 specific

00:17:07.960 those were your lucky socks

00:17:08.900 yeah lucky socks

00:17:09.460 okay interesting

00:17:10.080 so never wore them

00:17:11.380 okay okay

00:17:12.080 because they were so

00:17:13.220 it was like

00:17:14.020 you mean like

00:17:14.660 you mean like

00:17:15.340 you're like

00:17:15.720 I'm filming my comedy special today

00:17:17.480 I'm gonna wear them

00:17:18.080 well

00:17:18.520 maybe

00:17:19.500 I got the comedy

00:17:20.900 I got it on me

00:17:21.640 right

00:17:22.180 wait wait what's that

00:17:23.360 I better save the luck

00:17:24.660 for something life or death

00:17:26.040 is that what you're saying

00:17:27.040 you never wear them

00:17:27.660 no so sorry

00:17:28.740 there were two magical socks

00:17:30.620 there's one pair of socks

00:17:31.760 that I was like

00:17:32.540 these are my special socks

00:17:33.560 threadbare

00:17:34.240 still have them

00:17:35.000 worn down

00:17:35.400 I haven't worn them in years

00:17:36.280 and it was so crazy

00:17:37.060 because I

00:17:37.340 yeah

00:17:38.140 and I got rid of them

00:17:39.540 because I go

00:17:39.940 look at the bottom

00:17:40.580 they're about to rip

00:17:41.280 just let them go

00:17:42.140 and by the way

00:17:42.540 right now

00:17:43.020 I'm having fear come up

00:17:44.480 no because they were so old

00:17:45.360 they were so threadbare

00:17:46.120 right so you shouldn't

00:17:46.980 wear them anymore

00:17:47.440 yeah exactly

00:17:47.900 so goodbye

00:17:48.340 and I mean

00:17:49.380 instead of doing a big

00:17:50.060 ritual holding them

00:17:51.720 over my eyes

00:17:52.720 I just was like

00:17:54.260 just goodbye

00:17:54.720 and no they're not donation

00:17:55.900 they're threadbare

00:17:56.480 just throw them away

00:17:57.220 and it felt really sacrilegious

00:17:58.720 just throw them away

00:17:59.520 and then I found

00:18:00.380 this other pair of socks

00:18:01.180 that were these bizarre

00:18:02.340 they were like

00:18:02.940 they're big

00:18:03.920 glittery

00:18:04.660 with stars on them

00:18:05.380 they're bizarre

00:18:06.000 and I was like

00:18:06.400 these are drawn to them

00:18:07.580 have them in my closet

00:18:08.640 you look at it

00:18:09.880 you open the drawer

00:18:10.960 every time

00:18:11.380 there they are

00:18:12.120 for no exaggeration

00:18:13.800 this is no exaggeration

00:18:15.180 10 years

00:18:16.700 no over 7

00:18:17.480 10 years

00:18:18.280 came to the new house

00:18:19.900 moved with them

00:18:20.620 oh yeah

00:18:21.160 no one day

00:18:21.700 I'll wear these

00:18:22.220 today I squarely

00:18:23.260 looked at them

00:18:23.840 I put them on

00:18:25.620 I put them on

00:18:26.360 and I went

00:18:27.360 I'm not gonna wear these

00:18:29.520 and I can't look at them anymore.

00:18:34.080 And then right now, again, the shame's coming up

00:18:35.940 if I should have given them away to someone.

00:18:37.700 I know where you are.

00:18:38.120 You panic, you get you right at the end of the story

00:18:39.980 and it's you throwing out a sock. 0.97

00:18:41.680 It was a dream that was my responsibility to kill. 0.98

00:18:44.120 Of those socks and what they bring to my life. 0.98

00:18:46.340 I go, it's not happening.

00:18:48.080 Oh my God, huge thing.

00:18:49.380 Young Ian coming in here.

00:18:51.260 But decision, decision.

00:18:53.540 Something about the root word?

00:18:54.700 Suicide.

00:18:56.340 Homicide. 1.00

00:18:56.940 Kill. 1.00

00:18:57.580 It's to kill. 1.00

00:18:58.380 The root. 0.99

00:18:58.860 C-I-S-E.

00:19:01.780 So the root is like kill, right?

00:19:03.020 It's like, yeah, when you make a decision, 1.00

00:19:04.440 you fucking butcher murder with a knife. 1.00

00:19:06.460 It's violent. 1.00

00:19:06.960 Decision making is violent.

00:19:08.680 You literally kill.

00:19:10.020 You literally kill. 1.00

00:19:10.720 You cut it away. 0.98

00:19:11.400 Ear to ear.

00:19:12.040 You cut away, right?

00:19:12.820 They were talking about this on This Young Ian Life.

00:19:15.140 You literally cut away. 0.99

00:19:16.120 You have to murder. 0.99

00:19:17.060 They're their options. 0.99

00:19:17.840 Oh, right.

00:19:18.260 I was just doing murder.

00:19:19.140 Yeah, yeah. 1.00

00:19:20.160 Chin strap.

00:19:22.800 So the struggle for that makes sense.

00:19:25.280 It is small or, you know,

00:19:27.740 You have to literally murder every other way to live.

00:19:30.120 I wonder if it's...

00:19:31.300 Every day in order to live.

00:19:41.620 Hope you're enjoying the show.

00:19:42.940 And if you are, and even if you are, I'd argue,

00:19:45.580 once you consider doing a premium subscription,

00:19:48.920 you're going to get bonus episodes,

00:19:51.540 an ad-free experience, and video.

00:19:54.360 The experience of watching us, our faces moving and talking,

00:19:57.020 and all of that richness that it brings.

00:19:58.980 There's the dear friend level.

00:20:00.160 There is the out-of-pocket level.

00:20:01.540 There's even an overpaying is erotic level,

00:20:03.860 which is too erotic to even tell you about over here.

00:20:05.980 Check out the link in description, the link in bio,

00:20:09.480 or even just looking at berlantnovac.supercast.com.

00:20:21.120 All right.

00:20:22.300 Are you ready?

00:20:24.040 Yeah.

00:20:24.380 Here we go.

00:20:25.540 First of all, nice pen.

00:20:27.600 You borrowed that today from our producer.

00:20:29.100 I'd like everyone to note, it's not a fountain pen.

00:20:31.180 It's a ballpoint.

00:20:31.440 But it is a coaco. 1.00

00:20:32.640 It is a coaco. 0.99

00:20:33.460 Look at the deep maroon.

00:20:34.920 And that's the color I have.

00:20:36.660 Look at the fall colors.

00:20:37.560 That's the color I have.

00:20:38.480 And what you're going to love is that what you order for that is a, they come in different colors.

00:20:43.140 But see the gold on there, the brassy?

00:20:45.100 There's a little clip, okay, that goes over.

00:20:46.600 It looks gorgeous.

00:20:47.460 And it clips onto your journals, et cetera.

00:20:49.000 Or straight down the v-neck.

00:20:51.200 Okay.

00:20:51.940 I'm soaring.

00:20:52.920 Why?

00:20:53.840 Because I'm an educator, okay?

00:20:55.720 And a student has appeared.

00:20:56.620 this is too funny

00:20:57.520 what

00:20:58.400 this makes me look

00:20:59.300 from a different time

00:21:00.100 just really quickly

00:21:00.920 I'm ready

00:21:01.420 literally at a hotel bar

00:21:02.180 doesn't have to be quick

00:21:02.920 literally at a hotel bar

00:21:04.000 a few days ago

00:21:04.960 the thing

00:21:05.540 a couple cocktails in

00:21:06.780 somebody with an

00:21:07.420 Australian accent

00:21:08.420 and then I get excited

00:21:09.620 I go I'm going to Australia

00:21:10.820 because I'm going

00:21:11.320 I'm going to Australia

00:21:12.180 to do stand up

00:21:13.300 never been

00:21:13.760 and um

00:21:14.720 so the business card

00:21:15.720 businessman

00:21:16.160 businessman

00:21:17.000 you're coming to Australia

00:21:18.660 you know I can't do that 0.92

00:21:20.100 I was like cockney

00:21:21.260 I don't know

00:21:21.620 yeah

00:21:21.840 but like

00:21:23.060 senior

00:21:25.540 I'm just going to say

00:21:26.420 here's his name senior client advisor at doing a flash what kind of business i don't know i don't

00:21:33.740 know capital what okay journal bring me back all right hold on hold on i'm obsessed with the

00:21:38.880 journal you showed it to me you flashed it to me across the table and i'm already convinced

00:21:41.740 what i was trying to say okay is that i have things to respond to now i'm i'm a little lit

00:21:47.160 up i'm lit up and pumped okay because i see a student okay ready and you thought when you get

00:21:51.420 excited well i mean the branding i mean you're gonna start your own company in reaction negatively

00:21:56.020 to branding okay now what's interesting is because why did well i resisted best self tm because i go

00:22:01.900 i've been studying you know the self-help shits and something like five right so i'm like also

00:22:06.360 the need to need to be like tm be like don't get any ideas yeah yeah yourself like someone's gonna 0.94

00:22:11.600 look at that and go that's it best self industries it's like right relax a little bit yeah okay

00:22:17.200 meanwhile you know they so i'm going i used i went to the self-help thing when i was like 14

00:22:24.660 when it wasn't cool to be in, like, the self-development section.

00:22:27.600 It's unbelievable.

00:22:28.020 Okay?

00:22:29.040 Now I know.

00:22:29.700 And so it's like, oh, now I'm afraid of a font.

00:22:32.540 Totally.

00:22:33.060 You know, like, oh, now I'm like, you don't want to do this thing 0.99

00:22:35.960 where then you decide, like, I already learned all that shit 0.98

00:22:38.620 and nothing new, there's nothing new under the sun, okay? 1.00

00:22:41.280 Yeah.

00:22:41.460 And then, like, you actually become behind those who keep learning, okay?

00:22:44.960 So I go, hang on.

00:22:47.640 Okay, no, but I go, I go, seeing a lot of stars,

00:22:50.760 seeing a lot of positive, whatever, like on Amazon, right?

00:22:53.560 i'm going i'm gonna and i i see some reviews and i see a couple mentions about being designed for

00:23:02.280 adhd specifically around something that has become core okay which is and i don't even have i don't

00:23:08.580 even have the knowledge okay i might have to look it up but it's core what's about it's become core

00:23:13.300 to my existence okay okay you ready so so this idea of of the adhd brain right what motivates it

00:23:23.180 whatever what gets the dopamine going in our brains okay right the things okay passion

00:23:28.800 okay urgency okay um uh what are the other ones novelty interest um what else urgency challenge

00:23:43.280 and passion yeah in cup okay so i'm going tm you know what i mean all right so i'm going

00:23:51.360 They go, all you have to do is remember in cup.

00:23:55.280 It's like, are you kidding me?

00:23:57.280 There's another one like that.

00:23:58.040 How about call it banana? 0.96

00:23:59.440 Make it work. 1.00

00:24:00.480 Force it.

00:24:01.160 Reverse engineer it.

00:24:01.960 In cup?

00:24:03.060 I'm supposed to be in the throes of it.

00:24:04.140 What about me?

00:24:04.860 Go in cup.

00:24:05.760 Oh, right.

00:24:06.040 Me trying to reverse.

00:24:07.040 What was I trying to reverse engineer for us?

00:24:09.520 Forget.

00:24:11.620 Oh, I know what we were trying to reverse engineer. 1.00

00:24:13.460 We were trying to reverse engineer poog, okay? 0.97

00:24:15.140 Into a series of words that then. 0.96

00:24:16.960 Yeah.

00:24:17.420 You know what I mean?

00:24:17.840 Like, like.

00:24:19.600 Goop.

00:24:20.260 Yeah.

00:24:20.780 Right.

00:24:21.360 okay

00:24:22.200 so here's where I'm going

00:24:23.160 I'm going

00:24:23.460 so

00:24:24.140 this thing I was looking at

00:24:25.880 saying consequences

00:24:26.720 do not inspire us

00:24:28.800 consequences

00:24:30.620 they're saying

00:24:32.660 if you don't do this

00:24:33.720 this will happen

00:24:34.700 we're like

00:24:35.080 okay

00:24:35.700 okay urgency

00:24:37.100 like

00:24:37.560 bring your carbon fuel oil now

00:24:40.340 even though it's related

00:24:41.980 there's something about urgency

00:24:43.140 whatever

00:24:43.400 that does something

00:24:44.220 so I

00:24:44.540 you know

00:24:45.020 yeah

00:24:45.340 okay I get pumped

00:24:46.020 we know I like a challenge

00:24:47.440 I know

00:24:48.280 whereas I

00:24:48.760 I mean a certain challenge

00:24:50.000 sure I enjoy it

00:24:50.580 but

00:24:50.700 but the idea of like it seems impossible to figure out how it's possible isn't for me right i mean

00:24:56.420 but i but i think but more like so urgent but an urgent challenge i really love find chris a tux

00:25:02.300 in two hours before the event it's crazy fucking fly into action it rules so my whole new plan is

00:25:08.000 to recognize that this is what interests me okay and then and then use it so the thing i don't want 0.85

00:25:13.760 to do right if it's if i don't want to label my folders okay i do but that's a separate issue

00:25:22.040 right what folders i mean physical folders yeah yeah okay but oh i want to order the new model

00:25:28.680 of the p-touch the brother p-touch labeler okay novelty gets me going well for example which

00:25:35.440 brings me into and so spend spend spend spending i wrote all caps of like buy buy your way

00:25:43.060 okay towards action so then so then i go okay whatever sure urgency i have to watch out okay

00:25:48.260 that i don't falsely that i don't run after the wrong urgency so like let's just say for example

00:25:53.380 urgency right i might be what was my big example i had a huge example about this that i figured out

00:25:58.560 where i was like oh yeah like why not instead of urgently handling something dumb be like finish

00:26:06.120 your book today now you know what i mean well sure okay that's interesting okay it's not a perfect

00:26:12.280 example point is i'm gonna i've decided to begin working with these listen tell me that's not huge

00:26:17.880 and the journal's in there okay yes okay back to the journal you're fixing it on you see this is

00:26:22.140 this is what but the words are connected to the journal yeah i saw in here somewhere that they

00:26:25.880 and i even saw it in a thing like it it brought you through those okay acknowledge them so here's

00:26:31.600 here's the thing so i go someone's someone's making this for addy okay i'm going i can i'm

00:26:38.280 willing to try it now i ordered it i got it i open the pages and i go and it says good for fountain

00:26:43.400 pens it's not tomo river paper aka the hobonichi which i've grown which at the first i was afraid

00:26:48.120 of now i can't get away from it yeah so thin yeah how could it not bleed it doesn't you know

00:26:53.060 whatever it's so smooth okay this one feels like weird to me so i'm i'm thinking of um transferring

00:27:01.120 the the things from here into the hobonichi okay and doing it myself and setting up myself whatever

00:27:04.800 or whatever it's fine okay i also started researching custom journal printing i went

00:27:09.460 down that path i had to come back around okay we should make a poop journal obviously i mean we did

00:27:14.620 have a conversation with someone we did but again i go you know i think it's got to be tomo river

00:27:21.900 paper okay i've got i've got certain things so so the point is what i'm trying to tell you

00:27:29.480 it's just the three it's a 13 week thing okay also good for 80 okay it's too much to think

00:27:33.720 longer than that okay i know what's going in your head is it too late to start is it too late no it's

00:27:37.460 not that wasn't okay i was trying to do the math i was like right four weeks three months and a week

00:27:42.100 four weeks times three is 12 but actually there's 4.33333 weeks in a month yeah

00:27:50.380 okay no there is because what's seven times four

00:27:55.480 21.

00:27:56.700 What's the seven about?

00:27:58.920 Seven days in a week.

00:28:00.800 First of all, 28. 1.00

00:28:02.300 Fuck. 1.00

00:28:03.040 Okay, three times seven is 21. 1.00

00:28:04.820 Ugh.

00:28:05.440 You got to just feel it.

00:28:06.440 Whatever.

00:28:07.040 Okay.

00:28:07.860 Can't you get it?

00:28:08.340 Like, I remember feeling like three times seven is 21 is very, like, yellow and sort of satisfying.

00:28:12.960 It being the four times.

00:28:14.760 Nothing should equal 28.

00:28:17.060 Well, when you think about it.

00:28:18.440 30, 25, these are respectful numbers.

00:28:20.780 Well, I find that those are odd numbers.

00:28:23.800 and I find them quite challenging.

00:28:25.060 28's an even number?

00:28:26.200 Oh, yeah, sure.

00:28:27.000 Figure that out pretty quick.

00:28:30.160 You got to think two, four, six, eight, right?

00:28:33.560 I go cut it in half.

00:28:34.940 Here you go.

00:28:35.680 Wait, but the math,

00:28:36.540 I forget why you're doing the math,

00:28:37.460 but the point I'm trying to make is

00:28:38.780 if seven days are in a week

00:28:40.660 and there were four of those a month,

00:28:43.540 we would be at 28

00:28:44.360 and we know you got 30 and we got 31.

00:28:48.560 Imagine if there were 32,

00:28:49.780 then that'd be a little bit much.

00:28:51.780 I go, let's pull back to 31.

00:28:53.440 But why?

00:28:55.700 No.

00:28:57.660 Why?

00:28:58.400 I think the moon and the sun.

00:29:00.720 Oh, yeah, of course. 0.99

00:29:01.660 What a ridiculous question. 0.99

00:29:03.240 No, but. 0.98

00:29:04.100 It was a big scheme by Thomas Jefferson.

00:29:06.360 Yeah.

00:29:07.200 And instead it's just the moon.

00:29:09.140 I think it's.

00:29:10.040 Yeah, I think.

00:29:12.300 Right.

00:29:12.980 Right.

00:29:13.540 How long does it take?

00:29:14.400 How many sun and moons does it take us to get to a new moon?

00:29:18.600 Speaking of sun and moons, I haven't been tracking my period for months because the app

00:29:22.480 I used to use a certain app.

00:29:23.840 And then you got afraid because of the society.

00:29:25.760 No, no, not even track me. 1.00

00:29:26.880 I don't give a shit. 0.99

00:29:27.760 It's like I lost my password and I go, you're making me fucking log in to a period tracker. 0.99

00:29:33.540 And so I got angry.

00:29:34.540 And then my other one all of a sudden looked Tamagotchi level, like old school.

00:29:38.420 Or it was like tweaking.

00:29:40.340 I couldn't figure it out.

00:29:42.400 It was glitching, rather.

00:29:43.720 Point is, I just need a good period tracker app.

00:29:47.080 And the other one was.

00:29:48.100 Well, you'll never.

00:29:48.820 Well, see, this is what I'm trying to.

00:29:50.220 It was like right.

00:29:51.060 Yeah.

00:29:51.740 Or Kate.

00:29:52.480 what what what period tracker in there yeah got a period it's easy no it could be another one of

00:30:01.700 your rows okay so no what if you're already there daily no but no i need i need an app for this

00:30:09.840 because you need to go when was the last day of my period uh yeah in your journal okay can't be

00:30:14.400 looking at the journal doctor's office why i'm gonna take my journal doctor

00:30:18.460 okay wait interesting all right hold on do you like puree soup or just more brothy soup

00:30:25.480 well it's interesting you ask i'm gonna write that down because we're not quite there yet soup

00:30:29.840 is about to be a huge part of my life well i got a lot to say well it already hold please okay

00:30:34.740 that's probably not even in this episode i made too much i don't think we can get to it yet i

00:30:37.640 made too much i'm not done talking about journals and my purge do you want my responses or not

00:30:41.440 okay i do i do okay ask me questions i hope your legs aren't crossed because it's bad for your

00:30:45.100 posture in there. Why don't you take a look right now?

00:30:48.420 Wow.

00:30:49.380 I'm trying to learn to uncross my

00:30:50.760 acupuncturist. It's really urging me to.

00:30:53.040 And I'm about to cheat on my acupuncturist with a different

00:30:54.840 acupuncturist. That's fine.

00:30:57.240 And I don't know if I go after reschedule

00:30:59.140 I'll reach out. I go after

00:31:00.760 reschedule I'll be in touch about another

00:31:02.840 date. And I go

00:31:04.280 what is the last time? What was the last time?

00:31:07.700 It's the last life. If that's not

00:31:08.920 life then what is? That movie was Drew Barrymore

00:31:11.020 You don't know the last time is the last time.

00:31:13.160 I think it was Drew Barrymore.

00:31:13.820 hmm yeah i saw a great movie last night but i'm not gonna tell you about it right now

00:31:19.340 i want to tell you about the things that we talked about okay okay no but you have you have to help

00:31:23.600 me no book all right so what am i trying to say sorry one what nothing so the first thing i want

00:31:32.540 to explain to you there is an option like if if you got excited about that the x's yeah little

00:31:38.060 thing weirdly i mean notably you understand like those the fake person wrote in the fake things

00:31:42.580 you get to choose okay wait choose what oh you mean the things yeah what you're tracking yeah

00:31:48.120 yeah of course i think that yeah there's probably some suggest you know whatever okay but i have a

00:31:52.780 couple things on that list you're saying yeah okay okay there are people who in the in the world of

00:31:59.260 the hobonichi okay and if you go on reddit it's fantastic i okay people post their their spreads

00:32:04.400 and they go they go and it says it's as intimate as it sounds okay you know of their month look

00:32:11.280 here's my new i'm really excited about my new spread for february okay and it's things they're

00:32:15.500 planning on tracking and sometimes they do it in a in a pretty shape okay where so you're doing the

00:32:19.740 x's and oh if you if you do the thing it's gonna look pretty you see what i'm saying okay like oh

00:32:25.080 i want to get it so it's a wave of you know like there's there's it's like it can be gorgeous it

00:32:29.400 can be bespoke it can be anything it can also be really simple okay i like when the people come in

00:32:33.340 there and go i'm not using the whatever okay i'm keeping it simple right but when i change

00:32:39.780 month to month the things you're actually out well it depends what are you what are you focusing on

00:32:45.020 okay if you it can be the same every month i think that this is what you're describing to me

00:32:50.480 is a group activity i can't do this alone well here's what i'm trying to tell you okay

00:32:56.620 you started going i need a course to do the book this book is guided that is the course

00:33:01.220 the journal has this journal has like prompts and stuff it's not just a blank oh no i thought

00:33:08.340 I got scared.

00:33:10.080 Yeah.

00:33:11.160 No, like, here's what I'm trying to say.

00:33:13.460 It, it, it, like, so you'll note, okay, it's a 13-week goal.

00:33:17.560 That's written into the actual journal.

00:33:19.280 One goal?

00:33:20.560 I don't know, okay, but I'm just, I'm just saying, like, like, motivations, progress, milestones, it's giving you things to fill in.

00:33:27.920 I love it.

00:33:28.260 The course is built in.

00:33:29.040 I love it.

00:33:29.560 Okay, so a highly.

00:33:30.520 I want it tomorrow.

00:33:31.180 A highly, well, you know, sorry to say.

00:33:33.440 Can I rush deliver it?

00:33:34.060 Rush deliver?

00:33:34.720 What, Amazon?

00:33:35.380 Sorry to say what?

00:33:35.920 It's gone?

00:33:36.520 No.

00:33:37.100 Sorry to say what?

00:33:38.100 I mean, what I'm saying is you sure can have it tomorrow.

00:33:41.060 You mean for me, Amazon?

00:33:41.760 Yeah.

00:33:42.100 Yeah, well, the strike's over.

00:33:44.600 For now.

00:33:46.060 And I follow the strike.

00:33:47.400 Yeah.

00:33:47.840 And by the way, my health suffered.

00:33:48.960 You'll be talking about it for years.

00:33:49.920 No, of course you have suffered.

00:33:51.440 Me with the flu, wanting Element, my electrolytes,

00:33:54.120 not buying them on Amazon because of the strike,

00:33:56.020 literally health suffering for days.

00:33:58.420 I ordered them to the official website.

00:34:00.360 The strike broke.

00:34:01.400 I ordered them on Amazon through the official website.

00:34:04.220 Took five days.

00:34:05.280 Sometimes you can afford that change,

00:34:06.660 but not when you're dying from the flu.

00:34:07.760 not actually dying

00:34:08.620 I don't even like

00:34:09.080 to joke about it

00:34:09.840 yeah

00:34:10.840 a lot of rituals

00:34:12.160 developing around death

00:34:12.980 but um

00:34:13.540 but the point is

00:34:14.560 yeah but the point is

00:34:15.480 isn't it a relief

00:34:16.200 we've got wood here

00:34:16.940 I know

00:34:17.360 oh my god

00:34:18.160 I know

00:34:18.620 it's laminate 0.99

00:34:19.480 it's fucking acrylic 0.98

00:34:20.380 it's actually not 0.98

00:34:20.980 no no there's wood

00:34:21.700 under here

00:34:21.980 this thing's heavy

00:34:22.620 okay okay

00:34:23.180 but the point is

00:34:25.100 I'll order it now

00:34:26.060 even though Amazon's

00:34:27.080 still evil

00:34:27.420 I'll order it

00:34:28.480 yeah yeah

00:34:30.880 I mean um

00:34:31.720 I

00:34:32.600 you know

00:34:33.920 the only thing

00:34:34.360 that gets me to bed

00:34:35.100 is sometimes

00:34:35.940 is um

00:34:36.600 package coming

00:34:37.620 In the morning, yeah.

00:34:38.680 Like my P-Touch came this morning.

00:34:40.320 So, you know, I have a dangerous relationship with-

00:34:41.640 What makes the new model new?

00:34:45.380 I just haven't had one in a few years.

00:34:47.160 When do you think P-Touch is going to make the mistake

00:34:49.820 of thinking that to make a label-

00:34:52.480 No, no, no, no.

00:34:55.600 Dairy. 1.00

00:34:58.100 Dairy. 0.99

00:34:58.900 It's going to think, hey, we need the new model.

00:35:01.080 Voice noted, created labels.

00:35:03.920 And then it'll be hell. 0.64

00:35:05.180 Socks.

00:35:07.160 that's where we're going.

00:35:08.840 They already have it in the sense that,

00:35:10.660 okay, so here's what's new about the new model for me.

00:35:13.100 I went backwards.

00:35:14.940 I went backwards.

00:35:16.940 Okay?

00:35:17.640 I had the cube where you use your phone,

00:35:20.240 and you can do it on your phone,

00:35:21.400 and that prints out on the thing.

00:35:23.480 Weird.

00:35:23.960 Too much.

00:35:24.540 No, you want it to be all there.

00:35:25.660 Yeah, I want this experience.

00:35:27.000 That's what's fun.

00:35:27.500 Okay, so I went back to this,

00:35:29.700 and it's satisfying.

00:35:30.500 We've got one.

00:35:31.920 Okay?

00:35:32.600 It's beautiful.

00:35:33.800 The first thing you label, of course,

00:35:35.080 is the charger for the p-touch uh wait that's actually the ultimate use of a label maker is

00:35:43.440 charger charger identification technology it should be called charger identification technology

00:35:49.880 not a label maker if you settle if yes well maybe we could actually do a partnership i also have

00:35:54.780 okay charger the cords by the way i opened up something the other day battery powder inhaled

00:35:59.920 It's probably death.

00:36:01.300 Do you know what I'm saying?

00:36:02.000 Oh, yeah, I do.

00:36:02.540 Like the poison thing.

00:36:03.480 It's like the technology I've held on to.

00:36:05.480 Is it Illuminara?

00:36:06.980 Because I'm currently, I'm going to write this down for another.

00:36:09.440 You're going to disparage Illuminara?

00:36:11.080 No, no.

00:36:12.060 Okay, I'm currently deciding.

00:36:13.140 Well, I'll talk about the candles along with puree and stew.

00:36:23.200 Hope you're enjoying the show.

00:36:24.420 And if you are, and even if you aren't, I'd argue,

00:36:26.700 once you consider doing a premium subscription you're going to get bonus episodes an ad-free

00:36:33.620 experience and video the experience of watching us our faces moving and talking and all of that

00:36:39.180 richness that it brings there's the dear friend level there is the out-of-pocket level there's

00:36:43.220 even an overpaying is erotic level which is too erotic to even tell you about over here check out

00:36:47.920 the link in description the link in bio or even just looking at berlantnovac.supercast.com

00:36:56.700 okay okay i've barely gotten to say anything okay i don't mean like like talking time i mean i have

00:37:07.360 a lot to say what's going on i'm laughing i'm laughing with the urgency because the urgency

00:37:10.760 i'm feeling about having it possessing it having it change my life the new journal so so i want

00:37:14.740 to tell you a few things about it but what what is the we just discussed that you can get it on

00:37:18.540 on big bag you know green hang on i just want to ask my only question the journal comes with

00:37:24.840 The guy.

00:37:25.360 Is that what I hear?

00:37:26.320 This?

00:37:26.860 Yeah.

00:37:27.280 Yeah.

00:37:27.560 Okay, great.

00:37:28.420 Okay, okay, okay, okay.

00:37:29.840 You mean do you have to buy this book?

00:37:32.860 No.

00:37:33.360 Of course the guy comes with it.

00:37:35.060 Okay, I didn't.

00:37:35.700 Yeah, this is not.

00:37:37.200 You'll notice, look, they don't sell books with nothing on the back.

00:37:42.700 I really can't believe the way.

00:37:45.520 Really?

00:37:46.200 The panic?

00:37:46.780 I saw a whole life already unfold with the journal.

00:37:49.980 Well, I know.

00:37:50.880 This is why I want to spend a whole lot of time talking about journals.

00:37:52.600 But you know what?

00:37:52.960 Here's what's the side about heartbreak.

00:37:54.140 I go, I've been hurt before.

00:37:56.540 Kate.

00:37:57.860 All we can do in this life is keep showing up.

00:38:00.960 One time it'll hit.

00:38:02.080 How many?

00:38:02.660 Everything.

00:38:03.420 You just keep showing up.

00:38:05.900 Don't.

00:38:06.300 Do I need?

00:38:07.100 I speak of Thomas Edison's light bulbs.

00:38:09.220 Okay.

00:38:09.760 What do you mean?

00:38:10.480 Well, if you stopped on 1,999 when 2000 was the one that hit.

00:38:16.180 I mean, you have to decide.

00:38:18.400 Yeah.

00:38:19.340 Whether or not you're going to be someone who keeps trying again.

00:38:23.240 Well, you begin again.

00:38:24.140 To begin again.

00:38:24.840 Begin again.

00:38:26.280 But all I'm saying here, Kate, okay, what I'm wrestling with right now is, okay, I got

00:38:33.460 it, and two days have passed.

00:38:35.280 Like, I haven't started because I'm still questioning it, but that's part of my new

00:38:38.420 approach is January, I'm going to be a, I'm going to buy them up, I'm going to be, you

00:38:46.560 know, try them all, whatever.

00:38:48.640 Yeah.

00:38:49.680 This is one of them.

00:38:50.580 Now, you're saying it's a group activity.

00:38:51.960 I already got anxiety, and then now anxiety is coming.

00:38:54.140 I can't do it.

00:38:54.880 It's going to be too hard.

00:38:55.500 It's going to be too much time.

00:38:56.160 I can't figure it out.

00:38:57.780 Seems really hard.

00:38:58.280 So here's another thing on the marketplace that looks cheeseball.

00:39:00.480 Discipline.

00:39:01.340 There's a thing called the five-minute journey.

00:39:04.060 I mean journal.

00:39:07.160 There's a thing called the five-minute journal that people are very excited about. 0.99

00:39:09.580 Oh, but I don't like this shit, and I go, everyone grow up. 0.99

00:39:11.560 Yeah, exactly. 1.00

00:39:12.160 I know, Kate.

00:39:12.340 I wish I could have a smoothie that was filled with, or whatever.

00:39:17.620 It's like, if I could do anything right now, it would be.

00:39:20.760 Yeah, Kate, I saw you.

00:39:22.660 Kate, who do you think you're dealing with?

00:39:23.980 okay i'm like a greatest literary okay mind you know okay yeah you think i like those prompts

00:39:29.220 no you think i'm bringing something up that even has those kinds of no as far as i can tell it's

00:39:35.080 not journal okay but it's it's it's saying this is i don't even know okay but but what it looks

00:39:41.720 like okay is something like they give you the prompts are not feeling okay they're not favorite

00:39:48.540 ice cream you know okay okay it's a very simple thing like it's five minutes it'll change your

00:39:53.780 life okay because it's one you know list three gratitude items yeah say one thing that you know

00:39:59.900 whatever i don't even know what it is okay what yeah something yeah this yet okay no yeah that

00:40:05.260 gets me hard i can't explain it okay so but but this is very specific now i think you're gonna

00:40:11.340 like it because it'll change your life you just buy into their thing my problem is i go i don't

00:40:15.400 know that i'm gonna like their system i want to say that looks like a standardized test the color

00:40:19.500 is the font you like that no it's like complete it's a trigger right this is very times new roman

00:40:25.440 bold literally and i'm talking about the colors and they'll come for me for calling that you know

00:40:29.860 times new roman okay yeah the blue whatever but well because that looks like a test that whole

00:40:34.660 thing this actually looks a lot like yeah like um the practice booklet i actually got a little

00:40:40.980 excited like oh did you like taking no i mean i was you know oh you know they're gone now right

00:40:47.160 aren't they like banned test goals for being damaging i don't know i think they're i think

00:40:52.880 they're still i feel like it's like it's like yeah i don't know i have trouble sometimes choosing a

00:40:59.980 goal because again similar finite time finite goals okay the loss i live in the chaos of all

00:41:07.600 possibilities at all times right yeah i i enjoyed eating the menu well right oh you're already

00:41:13.500 putting in the past tense what what did you say i enjoyed no oh yeah okay yeah i'm i'm owning it

00:41:20.480 okay that i actually enjoy well no but i'm saying it's a fear of death that's that's my realization

00:41:25.260 last week all decision process all of it it's just it's just fear of death which is which is why i'm

00:41:30.120 saying it's a fear of finite like finiteness yeah a decision like you're saying right so i focus on

00:41:37.280 drinking water do i focus on getting sunlight well actually good luck huge question where are we

00:41:47.140 with vitamin d well the supplement is it i have i found some non-expired wait i want to wait i'm

00:41:54.820 i'm wrapping up on the journal okay and closet okay all to say i don't know where i'm landing

00:42:00.100 I'm going to Kino, the shop.

00:42:04.360 Okay.

00:42:05.180 I forgot what it's called.

00:42:06.140 Oh, yeah.

00:42:06.620 Okay, but I'm going there.

00:42:08.760 I'm still probably going to end up ordering what I decide on online.

00:42:11.980 Okay.

00:42:12.640 I'm doing something.

00:42:13.760 I don't know what it is yet.

00:42:15.060 You're welcome to join me on the ride.

00:42:16.280 Yeah, sounds great.

00:42:17.060 Now, I will be, you know, there to push you.

00:42:22.080 You're saying it's a group activity.

00:42:23.620 Like, if it's like.

00:42:24.260 Like, this to me, like, okay.

00:42:25.460 That's enough push?

00:42:26.600 This to me feels like, okay, like, reading it.

00:42:29.360 I literally, that notebook, I see it, or I go, I want to read it.

00:42:33.180 Like, I can't just be, I can't just be let loose alone with that in a room.

00:42:37.500 Like, that's not going to work out well.

00:42:40.120 I'm not going to do it.

00:42:41.060 I just like, I just feel like I won't do it.

00:42:42.780 But if I have people with me, okay, reading it out loud together like we are in school.

00:42:47.780 Make your list.

00:42:49.540 Share or don't share.

00:42:50.660 Okay, now go to page two.

00:42:52.160 This is what to do for, like, I'm like, school.

00:42:55.860 I need school.

00:42:57.200 Well, I mean.

00:42:58.600 I think I need school for it.

00:42:59.920 I just don't think.

00:43:00.440 Why don't, I mean.

00:43:01.380 What am I going to do?

00:43:02.020 Drink coffee and look at it for 10 minutes one morning?

00:43:06.680 Not even one morning.

00:43:07.620 Every morning.

00:43:08.540 Oh, you mean you're going to stop?

00:43:10.220 Yeah, like learning.

00:43:11.540 I think I'll freeze around learning.

00:43:13.180 There's no learning.

00:43:13.380 It takes you one thing at a time.

00:43:15.700 I mean, I'm not like, wait.

00:43:18.140 You know, when you look at things, okay?

00:43:21.360 Okay, it's like.

00:43:22.260 I know.

00:43:23.340 Like, okay.

00:43:23.980 No, I know.

00:43:24.700 It's like looking can't save you.

00:43:26.140 Now, I freeze up around this, okay, because it's, like, health, finances, work, career.

00:43:30.920 Are you kidding?

00:43:31.360 Work, career.

00:43:31.800 I'm just, like, let's fill the whole thing, okay?

00:43:33.620 Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

00:43:34.780 Relationships, you know, personal growth.

00:43:35.840 Oh, my God.

00:43:36.360 Separating work.

00:43:36.940 Mindfulness.

00:43:37.400 Oh, God, you know.

00:43:38.300 Separating work from career.

00:43:40.380 Essential.

00:43:42.840 I don't even know what you mean.

00:43:44.400 No, they weren't.

00:43:45.080 They weren't.

00:43:46.420 Do you mean, like, how you're getting your cash versus?

00:43:49.420 No.

00:43:50.160 I meant something else.

00:43:51.500 What is work to you?

00:43:53.380 Well, yeah.

00:43:53.980 no what do you tell me no i guess to me career is like a romantic like the story

00:44:00.340 and work is like i have to write x amount of pages in order to have the career yeah yeah

00:44:07.560 or whatever right or like it's almost the the it's the wheels that turn but but they're but

00:44:13.920 they're it's building the other yeah it's building the car and then taking it first

00:44:18.000 Yeah, it's the duck's legs churning furiously.

00:44:23.900 You always hear that.

00:44:24.680 People talking about the duck's legs churning furiously in the water.

00:44:27.760 And still on top.

00:44:30.220 Exactly. 1.00

00:44:30.660 Imagine seeing all those little legs going.

00:44:32.960 What I'm trying to tell you, this is what you need, okay?

00:44:35.040 Okay.

00:44:35.780 Look, one, if you want me to be the school, I will do it.

00:44:38.840 School.

00:44:39.640 No, me to be the school.

00:44:40.640 No, I know.

00:44:40.980 School.

00:44:41.120 Okay.

00:44:41.520 Okay.

00:44:41.980 Go, Kate, it's time.

00:44:43.300 Okay, whatever.

00:44:43.940 Okay, I'm happy to do that.

00:44:44.660 One, pure heaven to me.

00:44:46.240 Okay.

00:44:46.420 Okay.

00:44:47.060 Two.

00:44:48.000 what i want you to do is go on reddit to these these i'm there honey okay let me tell you why

00:44:55.740 okay okay okay now you don't have to do the spreads yourself that look pretty whatever okay

00:45:00.640 you don't have to do anything these people do okay but here's what i'm trying to tell you

00:45:03.700 you you you read people post their thing and you read and you see it's almost like how you felt

00:45:08.740 when you're reading this even though this is a fake example but it's real people and you see like

00:45:12.380 like their exes okay and this is what they're trying to do you write me some give me some

00:45:17.340 some things

00:45:17.940 that they're saying

00:45:18.520 I mean I could pull one up

00:45:20.100 there's no time

00:45:21.320 just tell me

00:45:21.640 no like so it'll be like

00:45:23.120 first of all

00:45:23.520 the postings

00:45:24.300 and like have half the page

00:45:25.300 I'll read

00:45:25.920 I read the entire entry

00:45:26.900 I'm like zoom in

00:45:28.360 and read the entire entry

00:45:29.080 and it's like you can see

00:45:29.860 of course

00:45:30.260 I can read half a page 0.99

00:45:31.220 and fucking know 0.99

00:45:31.980 yeah 0.99

00:45:32.700 okay because they're like

00:45:33.580 they're like 0.91

00:45:34.120 despite da da da 0.99

00:45:35.180 like I can fucking fill it in 0.98

00:45:36.640 about like their relationship 0.99

00:45:37.380 with their father

00:45:38.800 whatever

00:45:39.280 and it's the idea

00:45:40.100 that it's tracking

00:45:40.740 because like you're not

00:45:41.340 going to do everything

00:45:41.820 every day right

00:45:42.560 of course not

00:45:43.300 right

00:45:43.760 that's why there's

00:45:44.580 a space for an ex

00:45:45.400 or not

00:45:45.840 depends what your goal is

00:45:47.340 okay what do you mean let's say if your goal is to okay let's say your potpourri of exercise

00:45:53.780 across a series of dates yeah then you're going i hope there's a nice potpourri if you're if you're

00:45:59.220 trying to do like jerry seinfeld writing stand-up comedy back in the day right it was like the rings

00:46:04.320 don't break the ring he draw like a circle on the calendar every next day read another circle like

00:46:08.560 it was a so it was a ring it was like don't break the ring that's a very like builder mindset like

00:46:13.600 yeah you know what i mean like don't break your streak that's like a lot of people are motivated

00:46:17.160 by like a streak.

00:46:19.880 Like some people,

00:46:20.880 the gamified

00:46:21.520 don't break your streak.

00:46:22.480 I wonder if I am.

00:46:24.000 You have to go to,

00:46:24.680 yeah,

00:46:24.840 you got to get one going

00:46:25.900 to know if you are

00:46:26.660 because it pulls on you

00:46:27.500 the larger it goes.

00:46:27.760 Kind of.

00:46:28.220 No,

00:46:28.640 I think I,

00:46:29.460 yeah,

00:46:29.840 yeah.

00:46:30.060 Like if you're like,

00:46:30.640 if you've ever smoked a cigarette

00:46:31.640 or something,

00:46:32.220 you're like,

00:46:32.540 I haven't smoked in.

00:46:33.100 I was going to say that's what it is.

00:46:34.160 I don't want to break my streak.

00:46:35.160 I,

00:46:35.500 and to be clear,

00:46:36.160 I wasn't a heavy smoker.

00:46:37.320 Yeah.

00:46:37.540 But I was smoking a pack every two days.

00:46:39.320 That was cool.

00:46:39.820 Wow.

00:46:40.360 Oh yeah.

00:46:40.940 Oh yeah.

00:46:41.340 Burning it down. 0.86

00:46:41.760 New York City.

00:46:42.800 Well, I remember we smoked some cigarettes like outside, you know, cake shop and stuff.

00:46:48.700 I burned them down for a few years.

00:46:50.240 And then I, when I was 24.

00:46:51.500 I just never, I just figured that you kind of, I just figured you were a little less than that.

00:46:55.700 I wasn't a pack every two days like for years and years.

00:46:58.040 But there was a period, there were a couple of years where I was smoking a lot of cigarettes.

00:47:01.100 But I decided, I'm sorry, 24 years old.

00:47:05.180 I go, I'm never going to smoke a cigarette again. 0.98

00:47:07.140 And I'm not fucking kidding. 0.86

00:47:08.420 I never did. 0.96

00:47:08.980 Yeah. 1.00

00:47:09.740 And even like a spliff. 0.99

00:47:12.320 Like, I'd be like,

00:47:13.100 is there tobacco in that?

00:47:14.240 Like, I was like,

00:47:14.880 because it was almost

00:47:15.300 like an OCD thing.

00:47:16.220 Like, never do it.

00:47:17.300 Now, of course,

00:47:17.960 I'll enjoy my little

00:47:18.940 mini hemp cigarettes,

00:47:19.980 Alive and Kicking.

00:47:20.700 Where are you, by the way?

00:47:21.480 This is an amazing business

00:47:22.580 that's gone on the internet.

00:47:24.140 I can't find them.

00:47:24.740 I can't get in touch.

00:47:25.500 Hello, yeah.

00:47:25.860 Alive and Kicking.

00:47:26.780 Yeah.

00:47:27.660 Partnership now.

00:47:28.780 Also, just,

00:47:29.340 I really want to buy the cigarettes.

00:47:31.540 So, what I want,

00:47:32.380 but here's what I'll say, okay?

00:47:34.420 Ate a cake that was frozen

00:47:35.580 in five months,

00:47:36.280 tasted great.

00:47:36.800 Oh, oh.

00:47:38.480 What was that?

00:47:40.060 You think I was saying?

00:47:40.540 No, no, because I was going to, no, like a new topic, you know what I mean?

00:47:43.440 Well, it was.

00:47:44.360 No, no, yeah, yeah, wait, wait, but you go on and you see, like, someone's like, you know, it's like, I find it very peaceful to lie in bed.

00:47:52.860 I love, it sounds so comforting.

00:47:53.980 And read, okay, someone's thing, yes, okay, tonight, okay, read, like, someone going, like, like, did a little better doing my CBT exercise today after, you know, like, saw, saw pee, you know, like, like, concerned about da-da-da-da-da-da-da, and like, okay.

00:48:10.540 budget like they're like the people are doing their new year's ones right now okay they do like

00:48:15.780 the first page they do a goal goals for the year some of them and they're like well financial goals

00:48:19.920 they're like same as last year really like still working on it you know like no those haven't 0.99

00:48:23.900 changed like still trying to hit that like there's you just it's people in the in the shit of their 0.73

00:48:30.200 lives like it's so normal like it's like got a little son today really needs to do that more 0.96

00:48:37.220 It's incredibly comforting that you're not alone.

00:48:41.060 You're in your journal, but you're not alone.

00:48:45.440 All I want to say is that I carried out to the garbage

00:48:48.460 this sort of hideous pottery that I got at, like, a estate sale once.

00:48:53.880 Yeah.

00:48:54.180 Right?

00:48:54.440 And it was, like, kind of a funny piece because it's, like, a therapist

00:48:56.640 and a, like, a Freud doctor and a woman, you know.

00:49:01.580 And it's sort of, like, singing goodbye.

00:49:03.260 Like, at the estate sale thinking, like, maybe it's worth, like, $20K.

00:49:07.220 dollars yeah yeah yeah and like then i'm sort of like it's fun you know and now i'm like do i want

00:49:12.680 i can't tell if i like this or not yeah but it's really hard to bring one people out 0.71

00:49:17.400 so i brought them to the the laundry room where a lot of people get rid of their shit yeah come 0.82

00:49:22.280 and take it no i set it down with like this is old shoes okay we just like his apartment nines 0.94

00:49:29.020 yeah like a like a you know cole's brand or something right we got the we got the second

00:49:33.040 hand farragamos in the mix now which we're taking to a cobbler second hand i thought they bought

00:49:36.580 them right from the fresh no that was the velvet that was the tux ferragamos oh this is this is

00:49:41.120 casual whatever so so bring it out everything all stuff i'm seeing our stuff and it looks so like

00:49:47.520 naked out there you know what i mean and i'm like and i carried back the people okay and i go they

00:49:51.800 could be a garden statue yeah yeah totally and i go all right oh but i had a genius idea so i'm

00:49:57.600 moving everything out okay onto the back patio okay this is my new year treat for the people

00:50:02.260 okay the strategy this technique so okay i'll start this way you have your your dresser there's 0.57

00:50:07.840 a bunch of shit on it right take a garbage bag to clear everything into the garbage bag now look 0.91

00:50:12.960 at your clean dresser look at the garbage bag go what's coming out of the trash yeah yeah what am 0.99

00:50:16.760 i bringing back out of the trash yeah it's a completely different question okay so i go all

00:50:21.340 right i'm purging i'm purging okay and jan one this is what i was doing jan one binge and purge

00:50:26.880 You're talking about binging all the episodes, and you're talking about purging constantly.

00:50:33.620 All I hear, binge, purge, binge, purge is all I hear.

00:50:36.340 Yeah, I hope everyone's enjoying the catcher binge.

00:50:40.040 So I'm moving out to the patio, because here's a big block for me.

00:50:42.980 When I'm not binging, I'm purging.

00:50:43.920 Are you ready?

00:50:44.320 When I'm cleaning as an ADHD person, okay, cleaning up, I go, what am I going to throw

00:50:52.220 out this bag, and then I do it, okay?

00:50:54.220 And then later in the day, I'm going, I need a bag, I just threw it out.

00:50:56.880 So instead, all the trash goes to the back patio, okay?

00:50:59.580 It can be retrieved if I find a sudden—I throw a thing.

00:51:02.140 I'm never going to find the thing this goes to, throw it out, and then I find the thing

00:51:05.100 it goes to.

00:51:05.800 So the trash is in a semi, almost trash state.

00:51:09.300 It's ready to be taken out, but during the course of the day, if I find the thing that

00:51:12.400 I need for it, I can bring it back in.

00:51:15.040 Hey, sure.

00:51:16.720 I got most of my downstairs cleared.

00:51:19.180 Oh, my God.

00:51:20.480 And next, I'm moving to the upstairs.

00:51:23.240 I mean, we'll see.

00:51:24.600 Anyway, that's all I have to say about the new year.

00:51:30.640 But we're going hard, and it begins now.

00:51:32.560 The point is, oh, but my concept was one day, change your life.

00:51:36.340 My new thing, I'm not launching into routine and pattern yet.

00:51:39.860 This is my idea.

00:51:40.680 I can't routine.

00:51:41.140 Jan 1, I go, Jan 1, I'm purging everything.

00:51:44.040 And I go, that's what I'm doing.

00:51:46.540 And then I go, well, I didn't finish, so I guess Jan 2, you know, whatever.

00:51:49.160 I forget what day it is.

00:51:49.860 point is a day at a time handling massive life things that are overdue yeah then when i finish

00:51:55.880 those i can get into healthful routines so i'm going right okay march i get my routine really

00:52:00.640 going to be as prioritizing blow it out by december it falls apart on itself and rebuild the next year

00:52:06.620 sure all right nice episode nice seeing you okay great okay new year you're gonna love you

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Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - January 07, 2025

Shadow Desires

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