Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - It's Christmas Eve

00:00:00.000 merry christmas we are coming in remote we are remote coming in the north pole

00:00:10.500 eating gelt am i right oh good you're frozen wouldn't have it any other way oh my god

00:00:17.020 okay you're back so are you stress eating chocolate okay you're back

00:00:21.420 the lint

00:00:23.240 Merry Christmas

00:00:26.200 wait wait I can't hear you

00:00:29.400 are you really far from your mic oh cause you're eating

00:00:31.160 no oh alright

00:00:33.380 hello

00:00:34.020 Merry Christmas

00:00:36.780 so

00:00:40.980 fabulous

00:00:42.300 wait so that's

00:00:43.740 gelt the golden coin chocolate

00:00:47.320 and you're saying it's from lint

00:00:48.720 lint

00:00:50.180 no no no

00:00:51.420 Apologies.

00:00:52.720 This is a spare Lind chocolate that was given to me.

00:00:56.640 And this is a gold coin gelt that I got at Trader Joe's for decoration.

00:01:00.100 That's adding up.

00:01:01.000 That's making more sense here. 0.99

00:01:03.100 Germans making gelt. 0.88

00:01:04.820 Is Trader Joe's German?

00:01:06.040 Oh, Lindt.

00:01:06.980 I get it now.

00:01:07.580 I mean, Lindt sounds something of that nature.

00:01:10.300 So, we are remote.

00:01:13.240 Of course we're remote.

00:01:13.500 It's Christmas.

00:01:14.200 I hope they're enjoying it.

00:01:14.620 Everyone's remote.

00:01:15.420 It's Christmas.

00:01:15.840 Yeah.

00:01:19.700 I am, as we know.

00:01:20.940 I'm really wanting to do Christmas.

00:01:22.620 Happy to be back in the earphone game, my crown.

00:01:25.020 I want, I'm thinking, I was considering going out to dinner on Christmas.

00:01:31.080 So this is right now, this is coming out on Christmas Eve, folks.

00:01:34.260 By the way, it's essentially Christmas Eve because Christmas Eve is in a few days.

00:01:38.000 I mean, there's no pretending it's Christmas Eve.

00:01:40.200 They know we're a few days out.

00:01:43.480 You know what we are going to do, though, I think.

00:01:45.340 We'll have to see.

00:01:45.940 But we should go live on Instagram or here or somewhere on Christmas Eve.

00:01:51.120 So stay tuned if that happens.

00:01:52.820 Sure.

00:01:53.020 Like a toast, like the old days or the time we did it once.

00:01:57.040 I.

00:01:57.960 Now you're texting.

00:01:59.400 You wish.

00:02:00.120 Oh, I was.

00:02:01.540 I just said the word I and it was because I was about to say what I'm doing.

00:02:04.460 So the only way that I can enjoy myself right now is if I order in a Starbucks.

00:02:10.860 No, it's on its way.

00:02:12.180 What do you think?

00:02:13.000 I had a fabulous.

00:02:14.500 I had a coffee.

00:02:15.300 I had a supercharged coffee, this amazing coconut milk, and it really kept me satiated.

00:02:20.940 Of course, I had it with lunch.

00:02:22.380 I had it with halloumi and sweet potatoes.

00:02:24.500 Wait, halloumi, sweet potatoes?

00:02:26.300 Tell me more about your lunch.

00:02:27.700 It was a poached egg.

00:02:28.960 It was a breakfast bowl at Honey High, which is a real go-to for me.

00:02:33.260 Greens, sweet potato, halloumi, herbs.

00:02:38.180 I'm going to order in a coffee from Uber Eats.

00:02:42.140 Great.

00:02:42.800 You know what I'm saying?

00:02:44.460 Yeah.

00:02:45.300 oh you know what i want to talk about particularly because it's christmas eve

00:02:48.160 the loneliest night of the year right i know people out there i'm like worried because

00:02:53.760 it's a dark time for people off themselves yes and i know and um makes total sense like oh right

00:03:00.420 that time of year and yeah i mean i get extraordinarily stressed as christmas

00:03:09.420 approaches and i was trying to figure out my slit like i stay up later and later and later

00:03:15.020 And then I had my dream last night, of course, forgot to get the family gifts and all the

00:03:20.000 stores are closed.

00:03:21.020 Wow.

00:03:21.360 And you know, I have that all year long.

00:03:22.280 Wait, Jacqueline, I forgot to tell you.

00:03:23.560 I forgot to tell you.

00:03:24.300 Yeah.

00:03:24.740 I had your dream.

00:03:25.700 No.

00:03:26.360 Weeks and weeks ago, I had the triple tsunami dream the day after you told me yours.

00:03:30.100 Wait.

00:03:31.620 Amazing.

00:03:32.300 I forgot to tell you the day after.

00:03:33.560 Did I speak on your three waves of tsunami?

00:03:36.740 I think it was on the podcast.

00:03:38.540 And the next day, I had the same dream.

00:03:40.940 Oh, my God.

00:03:41.640 Now, what was it like?

00:03:42.420 Kind of sweet.

00:03:42.860 because your eyes widened when i showed you like the feeling of the waves moving just under the

00:03:48.440 chin level your eyes widened it's deep i was like oh my god it's like another one and another one i

00:03:54.540 wasn't so it wasn't like a terrifying nightmare as you might imagine but in the dream i did not

00:04:00.380 think oh it's jackman's dream but interesting and no christmas approaching because i'm also having

00:04:06.460 right now the thing of my house i'm looking around my house is a mess but it's all it's all for a

00:04:12.080 good reason because my closets have been installed what my life has changed huge huge shout out to

00:04:18.100 closet solutions i cannot believe it i cannot believe it so so here are my questions huge

00:04:23.740 shout out so this is very interesting it's christmas eve okay and i am like two days out

00:04:30.280 from heading east no plane booked chaos and i need gifts i need to drive and get gifts tonight

00:04:35.340 i need some last minute gifts the grove no snow falls do your record i mean do your order

00:04:41.880 happy holidays happy holidays i completely understand the stress of wanting by the way

00:04:50.700 i'm already going tonight is my last night i've been for a year now not a year but for half a

00:04:55.860 year yeah i've been obsessing on making holiday cookies for my neighbors i've been obsessing

00:04:59.860 about this i'm going to be the neighbor who does that and i'm looking at the counter going it has

00:05:03.800 to be tonight i bought the cookie cutter shapes really so i'll just make it where'd you buy them

00:05:08.180 Yeah.

00:05:08.880 I'm sorry that I'm reaching for something again, but.

00:05:11.860 Well, I'm ashamed to say I wouldn't do it now because Amazon is engaged in a historic strike.

00:05:17.980 But I did buy them off Amazon, of course, like the spineless consumer that I am.

00:05:24.860 But I will know I will not be purchasing from Amazon currently.

00:05:28.960 I will be going brick and mortar.

00:05:30.840 Door to door.

00:05:31.300 I'll be driving down to CVS.

00:05:34.000 So I bought, by the way, I bought boxes for the occasion.

00:05:37.420 I bought twine for the occasion, and I have the cookie cutters.

00:05:40.840 So I'm going, tonight I have to do it.

00:05:43.440 Yeah.

00:05:43.940 And I'm looking around going, the house is, like, wrecked right now.

00:05:46.880 So I have to, tonight, clean the house, get that jolliness and that feeling of home to then make the cookies.

00:05:54.280 Well, right, because you're not making them for a bake sale in a panic.

00:05:58.160 Like, you just got to get—it's about the—like, basically, you need Christmas carols playing.

00:06:02.600 It's for my—

00:06:03.420 You need your own cocktail, whatever, and your baking.

00:06:07.040 By the way, I have already my batch I have, which is a huge announcement to say, I have the recipe 0.95

00:06:13.100 for batch espresso martinis, which I made recently and they were fucking hit, I have to say. And I 0.94

00:06:20.400 have some leftover in my fridge. So my partner and I could enjoy a chilled espresso martini. Of

00:06:25.620 course, it's chilled. And make the cookies, the jazz going, my fucking fireplace, not going to 0.99

00:06:31.560 get into it, works. Okay. Yeah. Really setting the scene here. To your point, it's not because 0.99

00:06:36.080 bake sales tomorrow this is ostensibly for you an activity for joy right so how much do i white

00:06:41.580 knuckle i gotta i gotta make the cookies tonight i do think i can force it and the cook and i think

00:06:46.640 i can i think i can force it and there will be joy yeah i think you can do both also the cleaning

00:06:52.360 thing well we have a lot to discuss here okay wait so i was gonna say even half an hour can

00:06:56.620 change your life oh well certainly and by the way like the add hyper focus like we actually clean

00:07:02.120 incredibly well you know remember when we did that when we got jacqueline and i when we did

00:07:07.080 saying jacqueline and i's if you're not here remember when jacqueline and i did that or we

00:07:10.740 were texting five minute increments okay go do this for three minutes we texted before and after

00:07:14.500 photos and then you got that could really help you're like i'm cooking now like and you wanted

00:07:18.300 to like stop doing the five minute you're like i'm good you know what i mean like you were like

00:07:22.240 oh really yeah you were like i think i remember you were like in motion so you didn't like need

00:07:26.580 it but i wasn't ready but sending the before after photos is huge to a friend yeah like i

00:07:33.240 yeah like i feel like what i'm gonna do after we record i'm gonna send a before a photo of my

00:07:37.120 kitchen and living room so am i to you yeah because guess what i'm about to do okay 30 minutes what

00:07:42.500 can we commit to i'm about to text my neighbor and go crazy idea tag sale tomorrow tag sale 0.89

00:07:48.420 literally just because dragging shit to the dump is like to the dumpster tag sale i just 0.98

00:07:56.500 mean like me and my neighbor put our shit out on the street and sit there i make pina coladas 0.98

00:08:01.260 sure like and we try to make a bun that's one idea i've never heard that term tag sale are you 0.98

00:08:07.960 serious that's so funny like garage yard sale garage sale yeah yard sale garage sale really fun

00:08:14.200 tag sale oh my god maybe it's not a term maybe i'm insane like maybe this is one of those moments

00:08:21.620 i think it could be real but can you imagine the christmas cookies i've got yeah it's real

00:08:29.740 doing the math i've got about six boxes cookies i got it how many cookies for a christmas drop

00:08:35.340 off five cookies five decorated cookies yeah that's fine wait i gotta go get the decorations

00:08:40.260 and how big are the boxes you know like a star this the boxes aren't big but it's about the

00:08:46.780 it's not about oh here's a dozen cookies it's about oh here are a couple christmas cookies

00:08:51.380 It's like a card.

00:08:52.400 Right, right.

00:08:53.300 Do you think I need to be making a dozen?

00:08:54.720 I'm laughing.

00:08:54.880 I'm just having fun.

00:08:56.900 Six cookies a box, maybe.

00:08:59.080 Well, I'm just throwing them loose in there.

00:09:02.300 I need to know how big the boxes are.

00:09:03.820 Right.

00:09:04.140 No, no, the box is small.

00:09:05.220 The box is small enough.

00:09:07.720 I don't know.

00:09:08.100 I haven't assembled them yet.

00:09:09.180 Okay.

00:09:10.020 But there's no way the boxes fit a dozen.

00:09:12.040 I think the boxes probably would be crammed with six.

00:09:14.860 And how big are the cookies?

00:09:15.720 So I think like.

00:09:16.380 Are they little or big?

00:09:18.680 They're.

00:09:19.800 Normal.

00:09:20.340 I don't know.

00:09:20.920 normal yeah so what i'm gonna suggest is if they are normal oh they're different shapes right

00:09:25.280 oh i just remembered the most incredible thing that i'm gonna i'm gonna do one one day one day

00:09:30.260 okay family friend of ours used to make this thing it was it looked like a okay it was like

00:09:37.180 seven cookies each one was smaller than the previous with like a stick in the middle of

00:09:42.100 gingerbread and so it looked like a ginger it was a it was like a tree a three-dimensional like

00:09:47.540 Christmas tree of gingerbread then I was just going if you had like you could also and I know

00:09:53.420 I guess you do want them to be different shapes but what if you did six snowmen or whatever for

00:09:59.560 it's always snowman with me but whatever for a neighbor right yeah you you rest it in the box

00:10:05.540 maybe I don't know if you put anything in there or not tissue or something I'm saying all the

00:10:10.280 same shape you can do a stack and just a ribbon doesn't that sort of sound good oh but then you

00:10:16.380 wax paper that's what i meant you can't just do a loose no you need some kind of paper i love that

00:10:21.020 wax paper but then you're i think the box here's the thing the box is purchased the box is the

00:10:25.500 thing the boxes are in the home so i have to use them i do i did put oh actually i did purchase

00:10:30.600 some butcher paper that i was thinking i'd use to wrap gifts oh the best brown butcher paper well

00:10:35.320 yeah kind of classic yeah i could wrap cookies in that that thing's like a parcel now i'm actually

00:10:40.080 getting hyper fixation i'm getting excited again about the cookies i think the i think the chocolate 0.99

00:10:44.020 but I just did the sugar, fucking did something. 0.99

00:10:46.520 Well, yeah. 0.99

00:10:46.960 I was low, and now I'm high, and I'm ready.

00:10:48.780 I'm hoping to get high when my coffee arrives.

00:10:51.160 But my point being, okay, I've reached a point of chaos,

00:10:55.520 and I drive myself here so that action must be taken, right?

00:11:01.240 Overhead, rock bottom.

00:11:03.300 Are you talking about the home?

00:11:04.820 Yeah, with stuff, with, like, you've never, you know,

00:11:09.180 my partner, when the cat's away, okay,

00:11:12.440 my partner already has made it east.

00:11:14.020 i'm here so i'm even more chaos than usual and the point is i am thinking about the only the

00:11:23.020 only thing that'll save me i have two two ideas one radical spending on gear cameras okay that's 0.82

00:11:31.040 my first idea two a purge so massive the neighbors are cackling as they see me carrying shit to the

00:11:38.480 to the street slash dump slash whatever like there's an area where people if you leave it

00:11:43.760 there people take it massive purge like just leave like always the entirety of i'm talking 0.78

00:11:49.300 about well i'm feeling massive downsize of shit by the way inventory i feel that with clothes

00:11:56.920 i feel that right now i'm going with i have like yeah i feel it because by the way again not to 0.94

00:12:03.360 brag but i have this new closet i can't believe you so i'm like i don't want to open a drawer

00:12:06.980 and put something in there that I don't love.

00:12:09.640 Do you love your new closets?

00:12:11.320 Do you feel peace and excitement?

00:12:13.400 I actually can hardly describe the joy.

00:12:17.800 And I'm just going to say two things.

00:12:18.980 Closet Solutions.

00:12:20.160 I booked during Black Friday, so I got 20% off.

00:12:23.080 Wow.

00:12:23.600 And I have an announcement, which is sometimes you push through.

00:12:26.540 Because I was, oh, you know, is it right?

00:12:29.660 Yeah, and I was even, I was.

00:12:31.240 My life has changed.

00:12:32.300 I was feeding the fire.

00:12:34.060 Well, no, because I also.

00:12:35.100 I was feeding the flames of anxiety.

00:12:36.000 Completely.

00:12:36.240 and I sent

00:12:37.400 I sent the plans

00:12:38.440 that they made up 1.00

00:12:39.000 a woman named Teresa 1.00

00:12:40.080 came fucking 1.00

00:12:41.220 talk about measuring 0.99

00:12:42.180 I go some people

00:12:42.840 know how to measure

00:12:43.420 really

00:12:43.780 she was here for

00:12:44.820 20 minutes 1.00

00:12:45.800 25 minutes

00:12:46.700 measuring measuring

00:12:47.940 she sends over

00:12:48.920 a plan here

00:12:49.640 well because by the way

00:12:50.440 there's a room

00:12:51.300 whatever

00:12:51.580 there's a room

00:12:52.100 it's very small

00:12:52.980 it's too small

00:12:53.560 for a bedroom

00:12:54.160 maybe it could be

00:12:54.760 an office

00:12:55.280 you're turning that

00:12:56.600 into the closet

00:12:57.260 well that was the joke

00:12:58.640 you kept telling me

00:12:59.480 why isn't this your closet

00:13:00.420 you kept telling me

00:13:01.580 I saw

00:13:02.000 okay so because you tell me

00:13:03.300 I have a regular door

00:13:05.040 closet

00:13:05.920 And then I see plans and I'm like, she converted in the bedroom.

00:13:09.440 What's going on?

00:13:10.420 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:13:11.120 But I was like, cool.

00:13:11.820 So that room now. 1.00

00:13:12.760 Fuck it. 1.00

00:13:13.500 That room is books now and clothes. 1.00

00:13:15.720 It's like a library closet.

00:13:18.400 That's great.

00:13:19.060 I cannot believe it.

00:13:20.820 Talk about a customer service experience that was unbelievable.

00:13:23.360 Claudio came here, built it all in two days, less than two days.

00:13:27.100 He was here nine to three twice.

00:13:29.720 You mentioned that you were having an installation.

00:13:30.920 Built a closet room, another closet, and an additional shelving unit.

00:13:35.180 friend mentions installation your own heart heart sinks about you know what i mean like

00:13:41.460 like i would just teach her in high school like every time a friend succeeds a little piece of

00:13:44.980 me dies and i thought it was like the funniest thing i've ever heard because yeah no one has

00:13:49.620 ever said that you know what i mean like no one no one would ever needed to a class full of

00:13:53.920 children you know for teenagers um it's hilarious no i the the closet install i i i can't believe i

00:14:02.280 had the strength to do it and that i was able and this is what i'm talking about pulling the trigger

00:14:07.780 pulling the trigger because i go i could i could obsess about this for a year oh is that the right

00:14:14.620 place to put the or just not knowing i i have so much the spatial stuff i can't see it and i had a

00:14:19.800 friend look at it and go i don't know if that's the best use of that space and i almost called

00:14:23.580 the whole thing off yeah of course and then i go i'm putting my trust into closet solutions

00:14:27.680 i'll note that i did not say i did not express doubt at those plans you sent me was not you so

00:14:33.540 that's no no i just mean like i'm i didn't you know i was stirring anxiety for the fun of the

00:14:40.620 conversation of course but i couldn't be more anxiety than okay like so in addition to sending

00:14:48.940 you a before and after of what i hope to do today and it might not happen at all here's the here's

00:14:53.940 the fantasy i leave for the east coast okay i'll be in the east coast when people are listening

00:14:58.160 did i do it who knows all right but whatever i go i head off to christmas when i come back here

00:15:03.960 the new year is about to begin i want to come back to a fresh home

00:15:10.040 yeah i want to so i want to purge before i leave i see totally you imagine oh knowing you're coming

00:15:17.340 back no you you have to clean your house before you go on vacation before you leave you can't

00:15:21.900 return to the dirty home it's too much to bear and but because everything's last minute i don't

00:15:29.000 know that i'm going to be hiring any help i think it's going to be me i mean i i look and there it

00:15:34.660 just i think i think i'm going to crank the tunes drink the coffee tunes and have some chocolate

00:15:45.440 because the chocolate that i just ate energized me i'm like i don't need a tag sale sugar high

00:15:50.620 Like, I guess I'm just, you know, like the whole leave it on the street and they take

00:15:54.540 it away thing or leave it in my apartment complex in an area that people take it away.

00:15:58.220 It's like it feels like a system like you can't overload it or something.

00:16:02.620 Like if you just bring your whole house out there like.

00:16:04.740 Oh, I had that.

00:16:05.920 My old place, I would put stuff out.

00:16:08.420 Gone in nice stuff out. 1.00

00:16:10.940 Gone in a fucking heartbeat. 1.00

00:16:13.440 I'll never forget it. 0.99

00:16:14.080 I mean, I when I moved, I was like, I'm really going to miss that element of my life because

00:16:18.300 I'll never forget when I put my couch out.

00:16:20.620 and i put it out with the plan to i did a craigslist curb pickup whatever i put it out there

00:16:28.400 i go inside to like i is gone like no exaggeration within 20 minutes it was completely gone clothes

00:16:35.760 gone things gone it's a gift and i do think and you're angels you can put out yeah totally like

00:16:42.240 donation drop of course and adjacent to the donation drop you just have to properly label it

00:16:48.140 you know fresh clothes right right tv works yeah yeah exactly i'll never forget the day i put out

00:16:56.520 free mirror this long mirror of mine and then maybe half an hour later i see a young man carrying

00:17:02.760 the mirror down the street and it was like profound like that was in my home yeah that is now yours

00:17:09.400 and the lives of objects the lives of things oh well yesterday i was looking at cameras in the

00:17:16.000 same like spirit i was looking at two cameras and um you know a man behind the counter and

00:17:25.420 i'm in on this one camera and then i mean i wasn't necessarily gonna get i just mean in

00:17:31.480 the emotional story narrative of talking to a salesperson we're really into this one camera

00:17:35.860 we're talking about and then he's like well and i go it was actually a genius you're gonna love it

00:17:41.240 i go what what about this model because obviously you're telling me all the things that are good

00:17:45.380 about it right i go what is it about this model that in six months i decide to do a different

00:17:50.200 project using this camera for and i go oh fuck i didn't know this limitation existed 0.66

00:17:56.540 what's the like what is the limitation that like could come up that i go oh i wish yeah 0.86

00:18:03.160 and he's like well you know and and then he pulls out the next next one up and he opens up the two

00:18:10.400 cameras and he's like you know the sensor which is to me i'm like literally the core that collects

00:18:15.360 the information and one of them is like this big ass sensor window like like you think of like

00:18:20.340 camera and the other one's little and i start to just go well she showed me that i would have i

00:18:25.160 wouldn't even been talking about the other one just plain as day he's like what i'm not gonna

00:18:29.680 get that one you know what i mean like and then i go you're good am i frozen yeah okay then i go

00:18:35.800 you're good i go you're good i was trying to understand the sensor i go you're good okay

00:18:39.720 because i go i'm like because i had to get him to bring me the like the higher up essentially

00:18:46.280 like he wasn't even he was barely even mentioning it like i was like yeah you're good look at me

00:18:51.180 and then i started to feel sad for the first camera okay the model below yeah yeah of course

00:19:00.080 and going like and this is you know this is mental illness i can play because because i'm starting to

00:19:09.400 go oh then i and i'm starting to go like literally had to have him tell me like but a lot of people

00:19:15.780 love this camera right like not knowing that i was going to maybe go for the more expensive one

00:19:20.840 okay to be clear i left with nothing so it had love yeah i was like people really love this

00:19:25.500 camera right basically i'm not breaking in spirit and then yeah yeah of course and then i'm like

00:19:30.400 literally like petting it i mean this is sick i'm petting it and then i go and then i go um

00:19:37.420 And then he goes, oh, I actually had them switched.

00:19:40.380 Like he, because the body looks the same.

00:19:42.740 You were petting the wrong one?

00:19:43.460 Yeah.

00:19:44.100 You were petting the wrong one?

00:19:45.260 Yeah.

00:19:45.600 And I was like, I didn't know.

00:19:48.640 I think it made me feel better.

00:19:49.960 Yeah.

00:19:50.160 Because I was sort of like, yeah, look at these two from the outside.

00:19:54.060 I don't know.

00:19:54.840 You'd never know.

00:19:56.260 Yeah.

00:19:56.620 So why is Kate?

00:19:57.720 Why?

00:19:58.600 Like, why does that?

00:20:00.360 What's going on there?

00:20:01.240 Right.

00:20:01.540 Like, and then I've always had this in my life to varying points, you know, different times. 0.96

00:20:06.320 like and it's not it's not obvious it's not getting in the way of my fucking life okay I'm

00:20:10.440 just like there was a moment I felt it and it's like why when these are objects right and it's 0.66

00:20:15.540 like I have I think like why feel sad about something of no consequence right or why feel

00:20:24.520 and it's like because there is because out in the world there are situations in which someone loves

00:20:30.900 someone more than the other one or something right like it is a it is a human tragedy or an animal

00:20:37.540 tragedy whatever right that exists somewhere and is happening somewhere and so it's like yeah it's

00:20:43.060 happening right in front of me with an object symbolically it's like a painting a painting of

00:20:47.820 sadness right we can feel it sorry my coffee's arriving no but continue what you can stew on what

00:20:58.120 i said okay so i had a huge moment of community with uber eats just now you what because i was

00:21:15.500 just getting dropped off two coffees in a bag right i felt a little bit like yes not embarrassed

00:21:20.960 it's not who i am but you know just like a woman in shorts like and i've lip gloss on now so it

00:21:29.540 almost is like you're clearly working up yeah but i'm just like i don't know whatever gets out of

00:21:36.400 the car i in i walk to meet like in my bare feet on the sidewalk because i don't know i get some

00:21:42.480 weird pleasure and like sneaking out like yeah yeah then he hands me the thing and i go you're

00:21:50.840 a lifesaver okay and i go oh i love that you're a lifesaver i go this was some emergency coffee

00:21:55.920 right here okay yeah because i just need him to know that i love it what he said what he say

00:22:00.120 he just loved it like you know what i mean he laughed he said i forget i forget like he said

00:22:04.520 like yeah no you didn't say anything genius okay yeah yeah yeah but well i had i had almost the

00:22:12.660 opposite already a thing happened where i was in front of my house and i carpled up and he went

00:22:18.120 kate he either said kate or kate no he went kate and i went yeah he said i'm delivering something

00:22:25.120 for you and i immediately go i'm being sued like jury like a summons you know what i mean like

00:22:29.620 you've been served right so i started going i started going okay if he hands it to me i'm

00:22:33.520 gonna go oh kate i thought i heard you say genius genius and i was like nothing no what name rhymes

00:22:38.840 with kate it could be my name right i thought you said bait so i started going i started going

00:22:44.280 Nate oh Nate my husband's name is Nate

00:22:47.120 oh god can the wife be served

00:22:48.920 can the wife be served for the husband 0.90

00:22:50.440 exactly

00:22:52.140 and no she cannot

00:22:54.560 and it was in fact an uber package

00:22:57.300 um

00:22:59.060 exciting

00:22:59.460 but wait I want to just say quickly what you were saying about the

00:23:02.920 sympathies yeah it was my ring light

00:23:04.980 that you sent me what

00:23:06.540 can I grab a cup

00:23:08.940 for this

00:23:09.400 go

00:23:11.020 So, Merry Christmas.

00:23:25.740 The holidays are coming.

00:23:33.420 Wow, that sounds.

00:23:34.880 Look, I decanted my iced coffee with soy milk, cinnamon, and an extra two shots of espresso

00:23:44.040 into a wine glass.

00:23:49.120 Look.

00:23:51.120 Fabulous.

00:23:51.820 Frothy.

00:23:52.920 By the way, I just found out because my friends had some sugar Christmas cookies.

00:23:59.280 And I asked, what recipe did you use?

00:24:02.720 because those were the best sugar cookies I've ever received.

00:24:05.800 And she informed me it's the New York Times.

00:24:08.400 Really?

00:24:08.820 Sugar cookie recipe.

00:24:11.020 Really?

00:24:11.200 And I, by the way, I straight up paid.

00:24:15.740 I have a qualm.

00:24:16.940 Are you?

00:24:17.260 I have a few qualms.

00:24:18.100 I can't tell.

00:24:18.600 Are you on your phone or is that?

00:24:20.940 Yeah.

00:24:21.960 Yeah, I'm bringing up the sugar cookie recipe.

00:24:23.380 Oh, okay.

00:24:24.540 No, because you're really pixelated

00:24:26.060 and I thought maybe it was stuck on you from before. 0.97

00:24:28.440 i gotta say that i paid out of my face if i'm gonna be a fucking radio personality i have to 0.98

00:24:37.660 i have to oh by the way my my acupuncturist my my acupuncturist goes you don't have a soft voice 0.98

00:24:43.480 you have a lot of yang you have a very forceful i go oh my god i failed my mother like my mother's

00:24:51.440 voice is here yeah i mean i failed as a woman in so many ways your butter but but but no and then

00:24:58.720 like my acupuncturist and she yeah i mean by the way she's changed my life already because guess

00:25:03.580 what we have to do you cannot cross your legs okay joint health alignment like here's what she taught

00:25:09.700 me yeah first of all okay no you cannot cross your legs second of all no more crossing the legs and

00:25:15.200 you have to really be mindful of not it's beyond slouching it's like the tangle like just don't

00:25:20.000 cross your legs when you're driving use your headrest i repeat push your head back i know on

00:25:25.620 your head i know because we are all in you believe it forward head posture i didn't know that i've

00:25:29.840 been talking about for years so you're finally getting no i know you have i know by the way i

00:25:33.460 i'm really on board now and exactly exactly and tongue posture i mean tongue and roof of the 0.71

00:25:40.620 mouth because of my it's like are we even fucking friends i've been saying no i'm no i'm i'm with 0.85

00:25:46.820 you i'm with you pay one woman two hundred dollars okay and yeah 180 yeah and you're 0.98

00:25:52.640 yeah and you believe her you follow her yeah i can't believe it why did you i'm just i don't

00:25:59.420 mean this defensively i'm joking but but why did tmj from her tmj because she's a tmj specialist

00:26:06.880 i'm there for my tmg my tmg your amulet was your way in versus vanity vanity didn't bring you to

00:26:13.960 posture. And I did the Caroline Mays.

00:26:16.920 I was like, everything is happening

00:26:18.100 for my higher good, right?

00:26:20.820 I was like, the TMJ flare-ups

00:26:21.980 have been really upsetting, but now I'm learning.

00:26:23.600 That's Louise Hay. Caroline Mays

00:26:25.980 is a different style. 1.00

00:26:27.840 Oh, Jesus. Oh, yeah, Louise Hay.

00:26:30.540 Caroline Mays would laugh, I think.

00:26:32.200 I'm really upset about this feeling in my chest.

00:26:33.820 To hear me say, like, no, that's Louise Hay.

00:26:35.940 Different style. Different approach.

00:26:38.220 Yeah, yeah. I was thinking about how every

00:26:39.840 everyone, you know,

00:26:41.960 wants to

00:26:42.520 get close to their soul this christmas eve download a carolyn mace audio program of your

00:26:49.500 choosing that sounds nice that sounds nice and can you be more specific sure

00:26:54.080 because no the reason i wasn't more specific is she has several and i always think how who am i

00:27:03.020 gonna like when i want to when i want to push one on her i mean on on her on a friend i go which

00:27:09.440 one i'm just like pulling my collection up and it's so hard to decide because i always fear that

00:27:14.660 you know like you know like introducing it'll be the wrong one you know like if you play them the

00:27:19.380 wrong song of course or something and so it's like it's painful you just think you know there's

00:27:23.760 there's a risk and so i go because like they're all one to me kind of i'm just going in my library

00:27:30.100 let's see entering the castle

00:27:33.320 so this one that i can't find this one entering the castle i think is probably 0.95

00:27:47.560 exploring her mystical experience of god probably the most like oh hell yeah it's probably the most 1.00

00:27:53.680 um like immersive one because she you know lectures right and then

00:28:02.780 alongside that is is in a kind of with music like you just heard guiding you through

00:28:09.980 the seven mansions of your interior castle okay i love that so i mean that's like now i don't even

00:28:19.380 know if you want to start there because it is almost like do the others to get the basics

00:28:28.360 work your way up and then

00:28:30.140 when you get when then when you're ready

00:28:32.340 for that but it's it's

00:28:34.340 related to Teresa of Avila's

00:28:36.200 the interior

00:28:38.780 castle

00:28:39.800 and in which Teresa

00:28:42.540 of Avila wrote for her nuns

00:28:44.120 a guide for

00:28:46.480 how to you know

00:28:48.020 pray and how

00:28:50.500 to get close to God or whatever right

00:28:52.240 and so it's based on that and she said

00:28:54.260 that's a Christmas Eve yeah

00:28:56.200 she said there's seven mansions

00:28:57.600 of the interior castle of the soul and anyway so it's incredible and then you wanted to start kind

00:29:07.680 of like I do love her like old school you know this is like I should put this stuff in our shop

00:29:18.280 spiritual power spiritual practice

00:29:22.020 it's like why am i coughing jacqueline this is horrible hey kate wait this is like this is like

00:29:32.960 pulling a card from a deck he's starting randomly yeah i gotta get on with my life and figure out

00:29:37.800 how to walk a different way and he said and i noticed people feel sorry for me and he said i

00:29:42.940 let them he said but it won't do me any good he said so i don't let it into my system this man

00:29:48.600 was a fountain of power and of strength i don't even know him and i've been touched by his story

00:29:54.440 the man that hit him was drunk apparently he could be very angry he could hate that person

00:30:02.440 for the rest of his life and he knows that and he said i could and he said but what good would

00:30:07.180 that do me he's just gonna make my leg come back then why should i live my life living under the

00:30:14.400 Blanket of hatred.

00:30:15.800 I mean...

00:30:16.760 So it, of course, froze, so I was not able to hear all of it.

00:30:19.920 Yeah, naturally.

00:30:20.840 I heard blanket of hatred.

00:30:22.260 The man was drunk.

00:30:23.020 Yeah, okay.

00:30:23.340 He's about the man who hit him on the head,

00:30:24.740 and then his vision came back or whatever.

00:30:26.520 What?

00:30:27.380 No, no, no.

00:30:27.920 You know what this is?

00:30:29.060 No, no, no.

00:30:30.060 This is why I'm talking like Mace is so hardcore.

00:30:35.160 He's telling a story about a man who a drunk driver hit him,

00:30:38.580 and I think he lost his leg or legs.

00:30:41.920 No.

00:30:41.980 And immediately, basically, like, from, like, day two was, like, I'm not, I will not let my soul be consumed in hatred.

00:30:52.640 Like, he just was, like, nope.

00:30:54.760 Like, and he, and Caroline is talking about, like, he's, like, you know, people feel sorry for me.

00:31:02.380 I let them, you know, like, but I'm not going to do it.

00:31:04.340 like and him being a fountain of grace and wisdom and how his story her not even knowing him his

00:31:11.600 story like has touched her and whatever it's just well it's just but her tone like her vocal tone

00:31:19.680 says so much to me she has like she has this attitude of that i just like ah you know she's

00:31:26.640 like she's no nonsense it's heaven like it's just god i that's what i need i need to crank up the

00:31:34.040 mace and then do and then purge my home quickly i want i want to i want to rack i want to rack

00:31:41.100 focus to my um my batch espresso cocktail recipe because this was really great and i scoured red

00:31:48.960 it i they're so it's it's confusing i asked my friend who's a bartender he had his whole other

00:31:54.300 theory that was much more complicated okay i thought it was is it is it i thought it was

00:31:58.980 kalula it's kahula it's kaluya no it's kalua kaluya kalua kalua kalua so by the way shout

00:32:07.640 out to pia barrancini forever because she was talking about doing espresso martinis i dm'd her

00:32:13.080 no i'm lucky enough the blessing of of her reply and this is her recipe 32 ounces kalula

00:32:23.720 Kahula.

00:32:25.420 Kahlua.

00:32:26.120 Right?

00:32:27.280 Kahlua.

00:32:28.500 32.

00:32:29.940 Okay.

00:32:30.560 Okay.

00:32:30.840 32 ounces cold brew.

00:32:32.200 I went down to Whole Foods.

00:32:33.620 I got what I considered to be, there was like a, ooh, listen to that.

00:32:36.880 There was like a $14 big thing of cold brew.

00:32:40.900 32 ounces cold brew, 64 ounces vodka.

00:32:45.700 I mixed that all up in a big bowl.

00:32:48.440 I decanted it into some of those bottles that have pour nozzles.

00:32:52.960 on it

00:32:53.420 did you already have those

00:32:55.020 or did you source those

00:32:56.260 I bought them

00:32:57.100 for the batch

00:32:57.520 for your new batch lifestyle

00:32:59.140 I sourced

00:32:59.480 I sourced them

00:33:01.420 and then

00:33:02.360 why is it so fun

00:33:03.380 to say source

00:33:04.000 it just is

00:33:04.700 it really is

00:33:06.160 it really is

00:33:06.620 and then I had a friend

00:33:08.280 the bartender friend

00:33:10.140 said

00:33:10.460 what I like to do

00:33:11.560 because it's hard

00:33:12.580 the foam

00:33:13.360 all of that

00:33:13.980 you know

00:33:14.420 he said

00:33:15.760 some oat milk in there

00:33:17.240 does some creaminess

00:33:18.360 when people want creaminess

00:33:19.200 but without

00:33:19.600 so much of the sweetness

00:33:20.560 fabulous

00:33:21.740 fabulous

00:33:22.960 shake shake shake okay this reminds me you know what i want to do yeah but i want to make

00:33:29.080 vegan eggnog and i want to make it now oh yeah now it's literally the easiest thing in the world

00:33:34.860 there's nothing but creamy delicious things to put you know nutmeg in or whatever right

00:33:39.560 so that's exciting eggnog make that tonight for sure and then i'm quickly going to say that

00:33:48.180 christmas eve at my mother's home or christmas eve eve really i'm going to do

00:33:53.120 my another fabulous batch cocktail which is batch french 75s which is a beautiful champagne gin

00:34:00.580 heaven yes i couldn't it was a real hit you're talking about and the and fresh squeezed lemon

00:34:08.180 juice a cup and then some gin simple syrup maple syrup simple syrup oh okay sorry you froze and

00:34:19.820 then at the very end top it with champagne to die for yeah you loved it wasn't it heavenly

00:34:26.280 i i just enjoy a cocktail so much like as a i just love

00:34:33.120 like the tastes now i like you know i mean i don't know i mean obviously i love the booth too

00:34:42.620 you know

00:34:44.500 look remember how ivan right i brought in fancy like fresh from sephora i i got these like

00:34:55.280 coverage sticks that the guy that it was like one's a bronzer one's a whatever like highlight

00:35:00.640 and brought, like, contour or whatever.

00:35:02.740 And I was, like, so excited and, like, the packaging and whatever.

00:35:05.860 Now, like, what, a week later, loosened my bag.

00:35:10.260 And look, do you see what's gone, what's happened here?

00:35:13.160 Oh, no.

00:35:13.820 It's all in there, loose.

00:35:15.640 Did it break off or did it melt?

00:35:19.440 Look.

00:35:22.240 Oof, that's rough.

00:35:23.400 I think you have to come back.

00:35:24.240 But what happened?

00:35:25.100 I think you have to come back from your phone now.

00:35:26.920 Okay, sorry.

00:35:27.740 I will.

00:35:28.060 I'm looking at the cookie recipe.

00:35:30.640 because I was trying to find the right frosting recipe,

00:35:32.440 but apparently New York Times,

00:35:33.660 and I want to say a huge issue with the New York Times cooking app,

00:35:36.260 which I paid for,

00:35:37.360 not allowing me to save recipes.

00:35:39.780 Something's wrong.

00:35:40.420 Come back in a few minutes.

00:35:41.840 We've been saying that for weeks.

00:35:43.940 Oh, by the way, unacceptable.

00:35:45.400 The ability to save the recipes.

00:35:47.380 Why have the app at all?

00:35:48.620 When it's just like, can't do it?

00:35:51.860 The code, like someone, yeah.

00:35:53.620 For weeks, I go.

00:35:56.240 It's the whole point of the app.

00:35:58.340 Otherwise.

00:35:58.560 it's always kind of like

00:36:01.260 the whole point

00:36:01.640 I've always found

00:36:02.580 like something about

00:36:03.240 paying for like

00:36:04.400 the New York Times cooking thing

00:36:05.400 like something in me

00:36:06.360 has been like

00:36:07.160 has been

00:36:08.080 like I will never do it again

00:36:09.540 the Black Friday sale got me

00:36:09.760 well totally

00:36:11.820 and then I

00:36:12.460 because I was looking at a recipe

00:36:13.440 it blocked it

00:36:14.120 it wouldn't let me look at

00:36:14.900 the Lambrusco Spritz recipe

00:36:16.460 I wanted to look at

00:36:17.240 they're like

00:36:17.920 sorry you need to subscribe

00:36:18.960 and they got me right at Black Friday

00:36:20.360 and it was half off 1.00

00:36:21.240 and I go fine bitch 1.00

00:36:22.100 and I paid 1.00

00:36:23.540 and then look

00:36:24.420 and then what

00:36:25.220 if I had paid a full price

00:36:26.240 you'd let me save

00:36:27.080 you'd let me bookmark recipes

00:36:28.980 overwhelmed

00:36:31.120 with the prospect of

00:36:32.540 oh my god Jack

00:36:34.480 imagine if it's you know what

00:36:36.040 breathing in having a little bit of a dry cough

00:36:38.280 and a little pain in the chest

00:36:39.200 just imagine

00:36:41.180 you froze so I think I missed something

00:36:44.620 I'm afraid of sickness

00:36:46.620 because I suddenly felt a bit of a cough

00:36:48.920 you're worried because

00:36:50.920 holiday and

00:36:51.780 yeah parents and also just

00:36:54.940 you know

00:36:55.300 Yeah, and just, you know, what if it's, what if it's, you know what?

00:37:04.740 So hang on.

00:37:05.640 Walk me through this.

00:37:06.880 From Paul Monroe, whose work I'm often, like, this is a Paul piece.

00:37:11.340 I'm always wearing Paul's jewelry.

00:37:12.840 I put a couple of Paul things in the store because I wear the tissy shirt, whatever.

00:37:17.460 Literally received a package from Paul.

00:37:20.260 All Christmas up.

00:37:22.160 It was a tiny blow mold.

00:37:23.720 Amazing.

00:37:24.700 Ornament.

00:37:25.300 angel and then like two wrap items and they're sitting they're wrapped right now i've got your

00:37:31.600 ornament on my tree that you gave me um yeah those were the um that one is like pristine

00:37:37.880 condition but like you know 100 years old so into the store you can tell the classics you

00:37:43.000 can really tell my tree is covered in tinsel which i've always wanted to do and never had

00:37:46.680 it's very um like 60s kind of yeah that's what i wanted it's beautiful i'll post a photo to the

00:37:54.360 We did a lot of tin ornaments, Mexican tin ornaments that my mom had that she got in Mexico, like in the 70s, yeah.

00:38:03.580 And tin ornaments, great.

00:38:05.500 You don't have to fear them breaking.

00:38:07.960 And I have a garland that I bought at Nicky Kehoe some three years ago and have not used until this Christmas.

00:38:13.540 I saw someone in the apartment complex outside of their door.

00:38:19.800 They had like a thick, tinsel-y garland, right?

00:38:23.420 two of them and then they had lights and the garland the garland that that made was the most 0.98

00:38:30.940 beautiful garland i've ever seen oh shimmery thick just stupid beautiful garland but mixed

00:38:36.920 with lights yeah just i got sammy the sensational snowman he is lit people who were at the los 0.93

00:38:43.160 angeles show got to see my three blow molds in person he is lit and he is cheering up the

00:38:49.480 neighborhood really sweet from within all any of us can ask of any of us to be lit within always

00:38:58.360 i uh something's happening this the episode's really lifting me and i'm getting really excited

00:39:04.240 about christmas this i'm sorry maybe this is i hope they can only hope this is translating to

00:39:07.860 the listener but for me alone something's taking hold and i'm feeling the energy to clean make the

00:39:12.220 sugar cookies decorate them now i know we talked like a month ago about i was like oh remember

00:39:19.460 I wanted to do

00:39:20.160 a wreath decorating thing

00:39:21.740 and then we talked

00:39:22.260 sugar cookies

00:39:22.860 I thought I was

00:39:23.460 going to be involved

00:39:24.000 somehow

00:39:24.500 but I think

00:39:25.680 I

00:39:26.640 I owe my home

00:39:28.080 I'm not inviting

00:39:29.620 myself over

00:39:30.160 I just

00:39:30.460 I owe my home

00:39:31.480 I think

00:39:33.300 we can have a spirit

00:39:34.320 even if we're remote

00:39:35.380 like if I'm making

00:39:36.260 cookies at my house

00:39:37.200 or eggnog

00:39:37.780 of course

00:39:38.820 and we're sending

00:39:39.500 each other

00:39:40.020 by the way

00:39:40.660 before and after

00:39:41.840 oh

00:39:42.220 that

00:39:43.860 well by the way

00:39:44.500 I'm already

00:39:44.820 as soon as we log in

00:39:46.220 as soon as we log off

00:39:47.820 rather I'm sending you

00:39:48.560 a before of the house

00:39:49.400 cleaning doing after no us doing you will side by side events like if i achieve it

00:39:55.920 the befores are the befores are so laughable like people won't even think they're real

00:40:00.600 i can't wait i want it

00:40:03.880 and then i'm gonna tell my i think i'm gonna tell my neighbor because i sometimes will be like

00:40:13.520 i'll be like whatever like some like you know excesses that have been sent to us like because

00:40:20.000 i don't really light candles so if too many candles come my way my neighbor actually lights

00:40:25.240 candles for real and and burns them down and loves them so you know i'll sell her

00:40:32.000 certain stuff is what sorry no i just remembered i forgot to mail some i forgot to mail a couple

00:40:39.000 presents. I haven't mailed anything in years.

00:40:41.260 And now they won't fucking get there by Christmas. 0.98

00:40:43.580 See, this is what I'm talking about. I 0.99

00:40:45.000 almost mailed them like a month ago. And I go,

00:40:47.040 that's crazy. You can't mail Christmas presents. It's rude

00:40:49.040 to the parents. For children,

00:40:51.060 I want there to be presents under the tree for these kids 1.00

00:40:53.140 and I fucked them. 1.00

00:40:55.460 They literally call me Aunt Kate. 1.00

00:40:56.960 It's like, you know. So you've met them.

00:40:59.120 I, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:41:00.860 It was an unbelievable child to have a child

00:41:03.160 see you with makeup one day

00:41:05.180 without makeup the next and go, you look

00:41:07.160 really different from yesterday. No.

00:41:09.000 yeah you look really different aunt kate and i go i still have tinted moisture i still have

00:41:16.060 tinted sunscreen on it's not enough she wants bronzer she wants blush or she doesn't want it

00:41:22.820 like oh that's true no no no i sensed in her voice was like i liked it okay make it like yeah it's

00:41:31.820 different like no but back to the point we can have the remote experience and i know this sounds

00:41:37.520 like i'm really forcing it through but listener if you're trying to conjure some spirit in your

00:41:41.460 home tonight yeah and i also want to recommend one of my christmas favorite things to do every year

00:41:45.820 chances with wolves my favorite radio station from east village radio they do the most beautiful

00:41:51.320 christmas most amazing christmas playlist see that's interesting there are so many of them

00:41:57.280 okay again because i was dreaming of releasing my slash you know we could collaborate whatever

00:42:04.860 christmas playlist for the listeners and then they could really be with us just a thought

00:42:10.220 and of course you cut out completely and i look you came back for just a thought in case we

00:42:18.540 edit this out if it doesn't happen but if it if it does i'm like kate what i'm gonna put together

00:42:26.540 a list i'm gonna put together a playlist the playlist should be live link in bio for the

00:42:30.400 listener yeah yeah whatever apple spotify put it together that'd be cute yeah these playlists

00:42:37.940 though they're like rarities and they're not you know what i mean wow i still think a curated i

00:42:45.720 mean you you've never heard of man with a bag so that's true not that's true that's true i've never

00:42:51.840 heard it okay no no no but and by the way like man with a bag i went to put it behind one of

00:42:55.340 songs there's like 10 versions on um oh yeah of course instagram and like they've been used

00:43:01.140 thousands of times i mean what do you think about people getting engaged the week before christmas

00:43:07.100 what do you think about the christmas engagement what do you think about engagement at christmas

00:43:10.940 i think it's happening all over the world right going home for the holidays oh pop the question

00:43:15.640 does it so here's a question carrying through then every year do you know what i mean i understand

00:43:21.840 why people do it because it's like well we're about to go see the family we're about to go do

00:43:24.780 the huh but does it corrupt christmas does it corrupt the engagement do you know what i mean

00:43:29.720 yeah i think i think it's too strong a word but what does it do to christmas i think it depends

00:43:34.140 on um marriage okay yeah like if you're if you're a couple that is going to get really into your

00:43:43.080 your anniversaries right like if you sense that choose a different day then you got to think about

00:43:49.360 it's a different date yeah if if it's more just yeah it's romance and you're like let's go let's 0.93

00:43:54.880 do it right and fuck it that's great kelly ripa and her husband they've been they've been married 0.98

00:44:01.340 for like 4 000 years and they eloped just random a couple facts but um old mr kringle 1.00

00:44:08.380 everybody's waiting for the man with a bag you know what i keep thinking about just coming back

00:44:19.280 me being at sephora and the makeup artist what you know selling me this bronzer and highlighter

00:44:24.160 and the idea of light contour and saying and you know a little up here to shorten the forehead i

00:44:29.160 literally think my large forehead is one of my greatest features an asset yeah yeah totally and

00:44:36.620 i was just i mean it's so fucking obvious but just this is the most it's just okay the realization

00:44:42.440 that like i always think that any trained like like as though everyone who's trained as a makeup 0.55

00:44:49.200 artists at sephora slash like that they all not like people have different tastes about what

00:44:56.580 makeup looks good duh i mean it's not like just worse so it's not just like one yeah and you have

00:45:04.140 taste about your own it's like clothes it's anything there are people who do will do my

00:45:07.420 makeup right and think like that i look better than some other time and i might think i look

00:45:13.760 better the other time i mean like you know what i mean like imagine yeah so it's actually like

00:45:21.040 it's it's not just looking better or worse right it's looking a way that i mean god this is so

00:45:29.180 fucking obvious but there's something that is missed there's two axes it's like it's like

00:45:34.340 one axis is like your own taste or something and the other one is better or worse like yeah 0.98

00:45:42.160 you know like have you have you ever been dolled up in a way that like is is beautiful but like

00:45:49.080 you hate it but if i just technically like beautiful like you're like yeah yes yeah and

00:45:54.340 that's like yeah and you know like what what you know it's like you look amazing i mean i

00:45:59.220 i like cried and took off a dress at a photo shoot and i have full video of it by the way

00:46:03.560 nine minutes incredible please okay send it no yeah so i'm on a roof and i'm with 0.97

00:46:10.900 nick and greg lennon fabulous hair and makeup and grabbed all these dumb ass dresses to wear

00:46:17.880 for this shoot on this roof and i'm like you know i want to go for it and yeah i should wear this 0.92

00:46:25.520 dress and my friend paul was like looks great you know like wear the green one finally some color

00:46:30.580 you know and and i had these brown boots my inez boots and i'll post but he's like i love it peter

00:46:39.240 pan peter pan you know because it's like the bright green and the brown and i'm like yeah yeah yeah and

00:46:43.900 then i'm like and then all these other clothes with it and then and i started doing it we're

00:46:48.100 like marching upstairs and i feel i just feel like shit even though everyone's like it looks good

00:46:58.660 right right but it doesn't feel it looks good in a way that feels alien to me and so i go up 0.91

00:47:07.860 totally there I start doing the posing you know they're shooting imagine being a bride

00:47:11.920 and then I know and then she's like the photographer is great she's like I'll let

00:47:18.280 you like take a look if you're not liking it whatever you can you know just so like you see

00:47:22.500 me like get up walk over here like in the sun to the monitor and go like oh and then I just

00:47:29.340 it's like you know how like when I'm gonna cry like in real life it's like yeah I go silent

00:47:33.900 first because the breaking voice is too embarrassing so it's like it's like yeah 10

00:47:39.620 seconds of silence okay and we go like i hate it i hate it like i feel so alienated by that the 0.94

00:47:48.380 image of myself in this stupid zara dress because again i'm like it's a photo yeah like buy a cheap 0.98

00:47:53.960 thing and they're not even that fucking cheap as we've discussed yeah went back downstairs 1.00

00:47:59.520 pulled on like trousers and a button down shirt marched back up and felt

00:48:06.640 fantastic gorgeous yeah i mean absolutely haven't we all it's like and you know some of it's like

00:48:17.500 masculine feminine like preferring to have the femininity emerging from the masculine dress

00:48:23.660 versus of course you know femininity failing in its own in its own expectation yes beautifully put

00:48:34.180 as always well listen i'm feeling really motivated to clean yeah i know i know christmas like get 0.86

00:48:41.700 the fuck out of here get started yeah yeah all right let's take a moment to just wish them this

00:48:47.220 is christmas eve okay and i know we are a few days in the past this is christmas eve folks by the way 0.99

00:48:52.020 I have a huge Christmas.

00:48:53.800 I know everyone was,

00:48:54.440 Oh,

00:48:54.580 what movies you're going to watch?

00:48:55.760 Always exhausted by that question.

00:48:56.960 But I,

00:48:57.800 I'm so excited to watch a serious man.

00:49:00.820 I haven't watched in years.

00:49:03.560 Like,

00:49:04.100 you know,

00:49:05.740 this is,

00:49:06.140 this is whatever.

00:49:07.360 If I can brisket it at Thanksgiving,

00:49:09.540 you know what I mean?

00:49:10.020 Like,

00:49:10.180 I know that you would never like,

00:49:11.600 Hey,

00:49:11.740 I've got,

00:49:12.000 cause I've got a couple of recs too,

00:49:13.480 Kate.

00:49:14.100 No,

00:49:14.420 Kate,

00:49:14.700 Kate,

00:49:14.960 Kate.

00:49:15.060 My sweetheart has never seen it.

00:49:16.980 Kate,

00:49:17.260 that's your Christmas Eve rec or that's tonight with the Christmas cookies.

00:49:20.820 That's not Christmas.

00:49:21.780 Okay.

00:49:22.020 Listen, I mean, I don't know.

00:49:24.020 Let me just say one thing.

00:49:25.160 I think it's Christmas Eve.

00:49:26.720 Well, anything.

00:49:27.280 No, of course, I'm not trash.

00:49:28.960 Anything can be amazing on Christmas Eve.

00:49:30.580 OK, but if people want to watch what I'm watching tonight, as in.

00:49:34.480 OK, what are you watching?

00:49:35.420 Christmas Eve.

00:49:36.040 I usually like to.

00:49:37.280 Yeah.

00:49:38.420 I like to either do.

00:49:41.360 Well, probably my one of my number one, probably number two favorite Christmas movie.

00:49:46.800 I'll say it.

00:49:47.500 I'll say it again.

00:49:48.300 It's always hanging in my office, but Scrooged.

00:49:52.020 bill murray's scrooged never seen it never seen it it's it's everything okay it's it's okay wow

00:50:01.760 maybe that's what you got that going for you and then i just watched at the time of my life watching

00:50:08.500 an action movie carry on it's like die hard oh my god that was advertised to me

00:50:16.520 as advertised to me on netflix it's like die hard you know in an airport is there christmas

00:50:20.540 Is it their Christmas?

00:50:21.180 Well, yes, yes.

00:50:22.920 They're kind of doing the, like, the same joke.

00:50:25.700 Yes.

00:50:25.920 But they're sort of, you know how it's like the joke is like, you know, I heard their

00:50:30.080 Christmas movie, whatever, that whole thing.

00:50:32.260 Yeah, of course.

00:50:32.900 So there's that.

00:50:34.140 And then.

00:50:34.560 Well, hold on.

00:50:35.060 Studio, they give you more money if you're, you know, budgets, you'll get more money if

00:50:38.740 it's.

00:50:38.980 Well, I want everything to be at Christmas.

00:50:40.300 I mean, but I just mean this joke is supposed to be like this joke of like, like, you know,

00:50:46.340 that that's like the bros, whatever.

00:50:49.800 I don't know if this has penetrated your consciousness

00:50:52.000 because I almost think it's like

00:50:53.320 wouldn't have or something, but

00:50:54.840 they're clearly doing it in that tradition. 0.99

00:51:00.200 But honestly, a fucking hoot. 0.99

00:51:03.000 I mean, not a hoot. 0.99

00:51:03.760 Okay, this is great.

00:51:05.180 Just like an action.

00:51:07.280 It's a 90s movie.

00:51:08.220 It's a 90s movie today.

00:51:10.920 Great.

00:51:11.780 Fabulous.

00:51:12.200 I wish we were being paid to say that.

00:51:13.340 That's a huge endorsement.

00:51:14.840 Actually, maybe I will ask for money.

00:51:17.340 After the fact.

00:51:17.900 I'm, I'm about to freaking, we are logging off.

00:51:22.700 I'm sending you before and afters.

00:51:23.860 I'm flying into action.

00:51:24.880 You know what I might do?

00:51:25.860 And I dare you to do it.

00:51:27.040 You probably won't, but.

00:51:28.360 What?

00:51:30.760 Just go on your phone and go to, you know, and that's not stop motion, but it's, you

00:51:36.460 know, time elapse.

00:51:37.180 Okay.

00:51:37.420 You set up the phone.

00:51:38.860 Oh yeah.

00:51:39.260 Oh, set up.

00:51:39.820 Yeah.

00:51:40.000 I won't.

00:51:40.380 Why?

00:51:40.600 Because you want to be on your phone?

00:51:42.740 Yep. 1.00

00:51:43.300 Bitch. 1.00

00:51:43.840 At all costs. 1.00

00:51:45.540 You know, the spare.

00:51:46.080 it's so satisfying to watch it get cleaned up like that

00:51:50.420 like it's i've never done it it's incredible

00:51:54.040 maybe ask if someone can help you okay but listen but a christmas eve message what a

00:52:01.600 another year with the hags another year however you're feeling i mean i mean again nothing more 0.82

00:52:07.640 depressing than being in the face of christmas you know and it not being fucking everything 0.94

00:52:13.740 you've ever wanted when things aren't everything you've ever wanted in that moment it's crushing 0.83

00:52:19.220 the magic slipping through your fingers time slipping through you know you never feel more 0.81

00:52:24.140 more mortal you know i was during the holidays i was fucking crying two hours ago saying i can't 0.85

00:52:29.060 record worth like yeah yeah not to be like hey like hey i'm just like you you know what i mean 0.82

00:52:35.800 but yeah like we fucking rally for the recordings it's worth noting yes we do like sometimes and

00:52:42.820 and have to you know and so it's like we push through tears yeah push through it all i just 0.94

00:52:49.120 i all i guess what and now i'm in the fucking spirit all i can wish wish is just wherever you 0.88

00:52:55.880 are you know like wherever you are it's christmas eve and like and like we're just 0.95

00:53:03.100 really glad to have you listening so glad whatever if you're if you're listening you know

00:53:08.900 draw a bath light a candle in a safe area adjacent to the bath take a bath with us i mean

00:53:14.400 what you know eat an orange peel an orange have a glass of water have a have a nice glass of cold

00:53:22.000 water have a seltzer with ice in it and some orange peel if you don't drink alcohol that's a

00:53:31.540 fun mocktail i guess that's not even a mocktail that's seltzer virgin vegan virgin nog delicious

00:53:38.320 actually nog coffee like they did they used to do at starbucks during the holidays anyway

00:53:45.020 anything you just you know it's like i don't know what i i'm literally like anyone out there

00:53:49.940 you're not alone you're with us like you're not alone that's that's like the feeling i have right

00:53:55.400 now and reach out post oh no reach out that's huge but but but reach out how about here xmas eve

00:54:02.520 we'll be thinking about you all

00:54:03.640 Xmas Eve 0.57

00:54:04.320 hag 0.98

00:54:04.820 or something

00:54:06.160 people could post that

00:54:07.660 and then they could all

00:54:08.420 see each other

00:54:09.060 that'd be nice

00:54:09.920 and they could

00:54:11.060 they can

00:54:11.500 they can go

00:54:12.240 hagsmas eve

00:54:13.000 chat with each other

00:54:13.680 whatever

00:54:14.060 we'll figure it out

00:54:15.300 merry

00:54:16.500 merry christmas

00:54:17.580 however you celebrate

00:54:18.400 or don't celebrate

00:54:19.100 whatever your night is like

00:54:20.160 and we'll see you

00:54:21.120 we're here

00:54:22.920 we're here

00:54:23.240 and we'll see you

00:54:23.940 on new year's eve

00:54:25.280 our next episode

00:54:25.980 comes out on new year's eve

00:54:26.940 so get ready for that

00:54:27.820 how exciting

00:54:28.280 that's huge

00:54:28.500 wow

00:54:28.940 wow

00:54:29.600 love you

00:54:32.520 Love you.

Poog with Kate Berlant and Jacqueline Novak - January 06, 2025

It's Christmas Eve

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Transcript